Where to go for help & advice when your dh leave you

[MeMudmagnet]

I'm trying to find some help for a very good friend of mine.
Her dh recently and unexpectedly walked out on her and her 2 dc's. It came as a complete surprise and shock, not only to her, but to all her family and friends, including her inlaws. They always appeared to be a really close couple. Although I suspected for a while he was quite controlling, she seemed happy.

Atm he is paying the bills and the mortgage on the their house, which she still lives in with the children. (Guilt money, I feel)
He has become very difficult however, about when she can have money. Saying she can have x amount, but will have to wait until a certain date. Leaving her really struggling, to buy food, things the children need for school etc. Recently he refused to let her have £20 to pay towards a boiler repair (she had no money left)He said, he felt it wasn't really necessary!
She works part time, but doesn't earn alot.

He won't talk to to her properley and seems to be trying to confuse her convince her SHE is going mad and being unreasonable.
He's told her she's really lucky he pays what he does and that CSA would give her a fraction of the amount. This is something she's looked into and she thinks it's true.

She spoke to a solicitor, who said her and her dh would have to sort out the money between them. They are due to start some sort of mediation, but I'm not sure if that can be any help practically.
He has a dc from a previous marriage also.

He is now 'lodging' with another woman.

My poor friend is heartbroken and wants to gain some sort of control of the situation, but doesn't know where to start and hasn't got the energy to keep fighting with him.

How can I help her?
Where can she go for some help?

My

[MeMudmagnet]

Anyone?

[maltesers]

She needs to contact the CSA. . .if they are of any help at all. Also the council for financial support. Also the C.A.B. may advise her.
Mediation is a start as they will advise in many areas.. . plus, he needs to be confronted about the finance infront of professional 3rd parties, then he cant riggle out of discussing the matter.
She should right down a list of things she wants to say and discuss, before her meeting with him at the Mediation service. Then her thoughts will be clear and not muddled . . .
She needs to let her in laws know what has happened and how penniless she is now he has left, and how the kids are going without. . .their grandchildren afterall.
I hope she manages to get money from her dh. .if he is earning, he is braking the law, making her go without.!!

[MeMudmagnet]

Thanks for the reply.
I'll look into all that with her.

He is paying the mortgage and direct debits atm, but I can't think it'll be long before things change on that front.
My lovely vibrant friend seems like shell of herself at the moment. Her inlaws know the situation, but he talk to them too, saying he's paying all the bills etc, which in a way he is. But it's so hard for my friend to run her life like this.

She said if she could afford to buy a tiny little place of her own and run it, she would. If her life could be own again.

[MeMudmagnet]

Would she be in a stronger position if she divorced him?
How likely would she be to get a fair settlement that he would have to stick to, no messing.
Atm, if she questions him, he just tells her how lucky she is that gets anything at all and that threatens her, that things would be worse if she went down the official route.

I personally feel she should call his bluff, but I don't want to make the situation worse for her.