arguing too much

[thomasinaticklemouse]

I am wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience, as my husband and I are not getting along very well at times and end up arguing about the most silly things, and there is lots of nit picking going on. We have a one year old daughter, who is absolutely adorable. I stay at home to look after her, and hubby goes to work. When I was pregnant,we had some problems, and then more since our daughter was born, mainly due to hubby getting used to being a father rather than a bachelor! Alchol has featured on many occassions, and helped fuel some raging barmies, which I have tried to diffuse, and then not been able to so I have said we had better go and sit in another room for us both to be on our own. This didnt work, as hubby would follow me in and continue arguing! I feared for our daughter hearing/ waking up.
There is more, but I have felt vulnerable at times, especially when pregnant. An example being, when I was very tired, I fell asleep and when I woke up, hubby would be angry with me for falling asleep! When breastfeeding, and when I asked for a glass of water, sometimes he wouldnt get me one, saying that I was being too demanding! Basically , he was having trouble coping ,not just with being a father (he admits now that in hindsight, although he wanted to have our daughter, that he wasnt aware of what was invoved in looking after a baby- the problem was he wouldnt listen to me when I said what he was doing was wrong, and this put our relationship under more strain. There have also been some big problems with my mother- in -law. and his friends have been quite demanding at times, but not so much recently.
I am partly of-loading, and also looking for sympathy and support from those who may understand my situation. I kind of fear for the future, as although we know we need to stop this happening, I cant bear the thought of this unpleasantness continuing throughout our daughter;s childhood, as it would break my heart. To make matters worse, we have not been intimate since we have had our daughter. This is probably not helping hubby in that way, but because we keep arguing I dont feel like being like that with him, and then it is a cycle of resentment building up.
I love him and he loves me, but I am very tired and fed up.

[Alfreda]

This time can be really tough for even a loving couple. Adjustment to parenthood can be so hard.

It's a bit of a vicious cycle though, isn't it: you resent your dh so don't want sex with him, he feels rejected and either goes out drinking or argues with you all the time...all you both want is to feel loved.

Someone has to take the first step. Or you both need to take a break from your normal surroundings and spend a bit of time together.

Do you have anyone who could look after your daughter for a weekend while you go away together? Doesn't have to be expensive but might help?

Good luck

[TDaDa]

Yes, what Alfreda said.....sit your DH down and let him know that you want to rediscover your partnership .......if you could just do little things for each other and show mutual support then you will intensify your bonding which could be very powerful