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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

15yr old girl being repeatedly punched by her 16yr old boyfriend

36 replies

Mobly · 19/10/2010 09:10

Last night, around 9.30pm, DP came in from work and said he could hear someone screaming in the street. He went back out to investigate and found a girl, only 15yrs old, who had just been punched in the side by her 16yr old boyfriend. The boy ran off.

DP brought her in the house to talk to me. She was obviously upset. She told me she wasn't supposed to be seeing him and she wasn't supposed to be out tonight. She wasn't very well and because she had text him that she couldn't come out earlier that day, when she did finally agree to meet him, he started on her. When she went to walk away he attacked her. She said he normally punches her in the face but this time he punched her in the side because she had told him she had been unwell and had pains there.

I told her she didn't have to put up with it. That we could phone the police if she wanted us to and that they would protect her. I told her that she deserved better and that relationships should be about love not fear. She just seemed so accepting of it. She said if she left him and then bumped into him he would kill her, she actually said he would stamp on her head!

The girl, I'll call her S, told me her boyfriend always smoked weed and that his mum had died when he was 12 and that he was also violent to his own family. I tried to explain, kindly, that there was never any excuses for violence. It was wrong, full stop. X was stoned too.

I drove her home and told her about Women's Aid.

I watched her go into the house, her mum or dad answered the door and didn't even look to see who had dropped her off, which I thought a bit strange.

Also thought it worrying that she was so trusting of DP that she followed him into our home. We could have been anyone.

:(

OP posts:

Report

Mobly · 19/10/2010 09:10

S was stoned too.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 19/10/2010 09:11

I'd have rung the police.

ComeScareWithMe · 19/10/2010 09:12

I think you need to ring the local station and give them her parents address :(.

BitOfFunderthepatio · 19/10/2010 09:14

Yes- this is a child protection issue. Please call the police yourself.

Hassled · 19/10/2010 09:14

You have the girl's address - is it worth trying to talk to the Mum? Although that might end badly - you could post the girl some WA leaflets so she has the contact details.

ScaryFucker · 19/10/2010 09:20

child protection issue

call the NSPCC and take their advice, I am sure they will recommend that you inform the police

personally, I would have spoken to her parents when I dropped her off

sarah293 · 19/10/2010 09:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

winnybella · 19/10/2010 09:25

Of course you have to call the police, she's a child, fgs. And her boyfriend attacked her- he needs to be dealt with.

Mobly · 19/10/2010 09:28

I didn't want to force her into getting the police involved. I didn't want to scare her off iykwim?

Maybe I should have gone to the door with her. I expected her parents to come to the car to be honest to see who had brought their daugther home. They just shut the door.

DP is a youth worker, S has said she willg o to the youth centre on thurs so DP can chat with her then.

Also DP is seeing the police today, at work about a separate issue so he is going to tell them about it and see what they say.

I just feel so sorry for S, she has been expelled from school too, so what support netwrok does she have?

OP posts:

ScaryFucker · 19/10/2010 09:30

mobly...that is why you should have reported it

bluecardi · 19/10/2010 09:31

Someone was punched in the street by a thug -I'd call the police.

Mobly · 19/10/2010 09:35

Scaryfucker it's not too late, it only happened late last night. She was stoned and scared. She didn't want the police involved. Would you have forced her? While she was in my house? I thought it best to talk to her and gain her trust. That is why she told me everything.

OP posts:

Mobly · 19/10/2010 09:37

I'll be back in a bit, not ignoring anyone, but I have 2 young DCs to attend to also.

OP posts:

ScaryFucker · 19/10/2010 09:42

ok then, that is why you need to report it now

unless you want to be her sole source of support ? You say you think she has poor RL network...then get her some (or try to)

I have a 15 yo DD, I would be very grateful you helped her at the time in the best way you could (big respect to you for that). But I would expect you to call the police if you witnessed her being attacked in the street.

Mobly · 19/10/2010 09:55

The police have just been at my house. S told her mum, thank goodness and he mum reported it to the police. They were looking for a witness because they want to prosecute. While, DP heard her screaming, he didn't see the lad punch her. S wont give a statement against her BF.

The polive already know of the boyfriend and S. They said he is a nasty piece of work but without a witness it wont go anywhere.

At least it sounds like her mum is taking care of her though, so hopefully she willc ome out of this OK.

OP posts:

Mobly · 19/10/2010 09:55

Sorry for typos I'm in a rush.

OP posts:

ScaryFucker · 19/10/2010 09:58

Ah, good

This is what needs to happen

I assume you have given, or will give, a witness statement then ?

Mobly · 19/10/2010 10:02

Of course I would Scaryfucker! They didn't ask for one though. From me it's just hearsay.

DP didn't witness anything other then hearing her scream. They need someone who saw him punch her.

OP posts:

ScaryFucker · 19/10/2010 10:10

oh dear

GetOrfMoiLand · 19/10/2010 10:18

Oh dear

Good on you for looking after her, I am so glad her mother called the police.

If this had happened to my teenage daughter I would hope someone would look out for her as well.

Shame they can't press charges.

Demon weed

ScaryFucker · 19/10/2010 10:20

and "demon fuckwits who beat up women"

Mobly · 19/10/2010 10:27

I was pretty shocked too. So young to be going through this. And the lad is only 16 himself? How does a 16yr old become like that? That's why I asked the girl about the lad's upbringing expecting her to say he lived in an abusive environment but no, it seems he is the only violent one in the family and he is allowed to get away with it because his mum died when he was only 12.

Even the police said S is a really naive 15yr old and easily led astray. Hopefully she will start going to DP's youth centre and her can look out for her a little.

If she trusts DP she'll talk to him.

OP posts:

Mobly · 19/10/2010 10:28

What's also really shitty about this situation is that no-one else came out their house when S was screaming to see what was going on. :(

OP posts:

ScaryFucker · 19/10/2010 10:29

GetOrfMoiLand · 19/10/2010 10:39

Bless her. What a sad sad story. Horrible how such a young girl can be so terrified of her boyfriend.

Demon weed because the strong stuff can make you psychotic, may be the reason why this 16 year old kid is so violent. No excuse though. Poor girl.

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