need help...not sure whether boyfriend may have Aspbergers

[red37]

Well title says it all.

We have been dating for 3 months and things are becoming increasingly worse.

I have a ds with adhd and high funtioning aspbergers and there are many similarities.

Anyone has any experience of this. sorry but I am pulling my hair out here...tia x

[squashimodo]

What similarities are there?
I have 3 sons with asd and one with HFA/ADHD.
For what it is worth, I would hope that my HFA son would be able to function in some way as an adult.
What makes you think your bf has aspergers?

[red37]

he is highly intelligent but lacks social skills and does not respond to body language
lack of eye contact
obsessions
cannot be out of his comfort zone
difficulty in keeping and making friends
anxious and iritibilty
lack of emotion or unaware of surroundings with in appropioate behaviour
does this all make sense?

[Alouiseg]

And the attraction is?

[cornsilk]

does he express his emotions well - apart from anxiety I mean?

[EricNorthmansMistress]

3 months in - what advice do you want? As someone whose DH may have AS I'd say cut your losses if it's already too much to handle. He may not be AS he may just be awkward and difficult to be around, either way, you aren't very invested.

[letsblowthistacostand]

3 months in and it's not working out, do you really have the brain space to analyze why?

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

Whether he has aspergers or not, it sounds like you have quite enough on your plate with your DC. What you really don't need is another adult that you have to look after, so at this point - unless there's a very good reason why not (e.g. you lurve him) - I would just call it a day. What you really need is someone who you feel is your equal, someone who - if you were to ask them to do something - you would be as confident in it getting done properly as if you did it yourself.

[jameelaq]

03-Oct-10 22:45:24
Whether he has aspergers or not, it sounds like you have quite enough on your plate with your DC. What you really don't need is another adult that you have to look after, so at this point - unless there's a very good reason why not (e.g. you lurve him) - I would just call it a day. What you really need is someone who you feel is your equal, someone who - if you were to ask them to do something - you would be as confident in it getting done properly as if you did it yourself.

Yeah, don't worry the taxpayer will SORT IT ALL OUT. You are a woman after all and so the socialist redistributers from the able and well to the numskys will make a better society in the end. Don't worry!
I know I have been there. All my relatives have AHDKF, HIDFF, FOQWERUT, OFURTS and, would you believe it, IFHBKSDJFSKFJHSAFKHSAKFJSAJFSKDFHSKDJF! which as I am sure you would agree makes life very difficult!

[Anniegetyourgun]

What the fuck are you on about, jameelaq? What has dating a man with poor social skills got to do with taxes? People with Aspergers quite often hold down well paid jobs you know.

Whatever you're on, I suggest you stop taking it. And have a good check up with a psychiatrist to see if there's anything you can do about the void you have where empathy would be. Oh, I forgot, there can't be anything wrong with you: you have an income!

[loopyloops]

jameelaq is only here to cause trouble. Ignore him until his posts are deleted.

[Anniegetyourgun]

Ah right, I've now seen what he/she put on that other thread where he/she was clearly high as a kite.

[RudeEnglishLady]

Well, whether its Aspergers or not, he sounds like he's facing a few challenges in life.

Maybe give yourself a break and end this relationship. If its this bad at 3 months - the traditional period of 'man trying to impress woman' and being all light-hearted and sexy, what do you really think it will be like in 1 year? Bless you for being so caring but you need some fun in your life woman!

Just do it nicely and, more importantly, firmly - if he has communication challenges then its doubtful that hints or allusions will work.

[jameelaq]

Annieget your gun. I do not have an income in fact, but I fail to see the relevance anyway

[colditz]

jameelq go to bed.

if your mum catches you on the computer this late, you are in for a world of smacked bum.