Need some perspective/advice re relationship with my father

[DairyleaAndPickleOnAStick]

Title says it all really- having issues with my dad and have no idea how to sort it out- the same cycle seems to be repeating itself and I/we don't know how to change it.(This is probably going to be long and rambly so please bear with me)

Currently the issue is this (and this is just the most recent example of his behaviour)- my parents are having work done to a rental property they have recently bought- painting and decorating etc. A price was fixed for the work and when it came to paying the workmen my mother and brother agreed to pay the men whilst my dad was at work. (I should point out that my dad had left a list for them detailing the work done and the price- this is something that he always doesAnyway when it came to it the man wanted an extra £30 which my mum gave him. She rang my dad and told him and when he came home he went ballistic, ranting and raving,accusing "us" of just handing out "his" money willy nilly and that's it's ok to pay out when it's "his" money, everyone takes the piss out of him etc etc I was there at the time and pointed out that it us v annoying but that's the way it goes, think of the tax relief etc, maybe he should be more assertive/dealt with this himself etc (Placating him I suppose) Predictably, this did no good, and unfortunately I lost the rag a bit with him and said a few things that I shouldn't have- anyway the upshot is this he hasn't spoken to my mum since yesterday.Eventually, he will calm down and all will be well again- until the next time.This is just another example of the way this little game plays out and I think there are several issues going on here- I just can't get a handle on it -Each time it happens my mum and bro will withdraw and I will be the only one able to confront him.Then when all is well again we will discuss and think it's sorted until it happens again. I should point out that I'm the most like my dad in personality so maybe that's why I feel that I'm the only one who can tackle him. Also, I suspect he may have NPD,and finally that I read a checklist of traits someone posted from CoDependents Anonymous and I tick almost every one
Can anyone give me some advice? And apologies if this doesn't make any sense.

[DairyleaAndPickleOnAStick]

Erm I think I have omitted what I think to be the crux of the matter- I think that my dad is playing some kind of game with my num and brother-he lets them think that they are in control of situations like this(ie organising and paying for the painters) but when push comes to shove he has the finally say, which means that they do all his dirty work for him- he doesn't have to confront people directly- and if they don't then he can take his frustration out on them. Is this a fair assessment do you think? Am I seeing this properly?

[DairyleaAndPickleOnAStick]

Bump. Anyone??