Knarky husband. Is this normal?

[muttimalzwei]

My husband is a good bloke but when he is stressed and tired he gets knarky and isn't very good company. I was thinking tonight that I am getting a bit fed up of this seeing as it always seems to coincide with weekends we are off together (after he's done 6 days on without any break). I just think it would be nice to have a bit of fun and a giggle together but he is stressing about tidying up, being tired, what's for tea etc. Does anyone else have a nice but frequently knarky OH?

[mamasunshine]

Yes me! Mine seems to either want to go to a friends house in the evening, or will fall asleep next to me on sofa before 9pm. Makes for a very miserable, fed-up wife!

[muttimalzwei]

Have you said anything to him?

[onepieceoflollipop]

tbh I guess it is "normal" for both husbands and wives/dps to be narky on occasion.

I don't tend to agree with certain behaviours being excused/explained as a typical man.

If he is a reasonable person, then you need to have a chat about this, possibly when he is less tired. Perhaps he could identify what would help him to relax and then he could take responsibility for this?

[muttimalzwei]

He normally just goes to bed and says ignore me I'm tired

[mamasunshine]

Tonight lots! Actually more shouted it ...I suppose I'm the narky one tonight! He was working 6/7 days a wk, we have a 2.6yo and a 15mo and I'm 25 wks pg so we're both tired. I spoke to him recently about it and asked him to cut down on work, so just 5 days a wk, hoping that he would be less tired. I would rather that and make cut backs financially. But I suppose we have a fair way to go

Have you had a chat with your dh? Do you have date nights or anything? Any dc's?

[muttimalzwei]

We both recognise the problems it just seems to be rare that we coincide in a good mood. It's either me being a knark or him. When not we get on great. We have two kids one is 18 months and the other 6. We are perma knackered. I'm hoping this is just a phase as it doesn't seem like much fun. We donb't have many date nights but we are trying to get out more

[muttimalzwei]

mama that sounds hard. Be kind to yourself! x

[mamasunshine]

Is there anyway you could sit down together and arrange a night out (or in, doing something special) every 2nd wkend? Cinema/meal/pub lunch/candle lit bath together etc. Actually say to each other this is what we are going to do and "book" it into your diaries. Makesure you follow through with each date night, no excuses allowed type of thing? Or the possibilty of a weekend away/at home together without dc? I know this is our big downfall. Since we had our 15month old we've had 1 afternoon out for Sunday lunch together...no other "just us" time It's quite a deep trap to fall into.

[muttimalzwei]

I think the just us time is so important and you only realise it when you are out for a drink together and you are properly talking for the first time in ages. We don't have any family near or babysitters we can rely pn plus we are a bit skint but we MUST do it. Why don't you get a weekend away with your DH mama? Is that even feasible?

[Unlikelyamazonian]

When I read these kind of posts I wish that I had had a normal 'knarky' husband who was otherwise a nice bloke with whom I got on great.

Try telling him he is being a miserable bastard and causing you to actually write something about it on here. Because that is all he is being: a miserable bastard. Slap him. And joina a samba class on a saturday night.

He can babysit while you go out, have a wiggle and leave his miserable chops at home.

[muttimalzwei]

:)

[muttimalzwei]

Going upstairs to slap him...

[mamasunshine]

We have similar probs with no family nearby/sitters etc. May have the chance of a night away in a few wks, just hope my resentment/hormones/his tiredness don't ruin it! I love amazonians suggestion, and I would definately do that if I had the confidence to! But 3 pg's in 3 years has left me prefering to hide on the sofa on a Saturady night, than face the Sat night out !

[NineTails20]

Oh, thank the gods, I'm not alone! My DP is narky every weekend he's off of work, to the point where, right now, I want to kick him where the sun don't shine.

[muttimalzwei]

What is it about weekends off They should just go off and destress without taking it out on us

[boobmanagement]

Mine gets knarky when has hasn't had enough sex, he doesn't mean to - he's just more... grumpy.

Just go and give him a good sh&g

[GypsyMoth]

sounds like hell to be honest!!

if anyone comes round are they all narky with them?? family? friends? the neighbours?

or is it reserved just for the wife?

[muttimalzwei]

good advice boobmanagement but knarkiness is not much of a turn on.

No just knarky with me. Actually not knarky today, so just ignore me,

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

DH gets crabby from time to time, Friday nights are bad if he's had a very busy week at work but I usually just tell him to stop being a grumpy bugger and cheer up - which he generally does.

We try and have 'date night' on a Saturday if we are at home with no visitors for the weekend. We get DS into bed a bit earlier than normal and then get a takeaway and watch a film or something. Wine would feature more if I wasn't pregnant :)