Teach me to be nice

[herbaceous]

Hello ladies

You know if you have a good friend who is essentially lovely but can be highly irritating, and you mainly just manage to laugh about her foibles to yourself... say that one day she'd just been a bit TOO flakey and a bit TOO precious, and you'd just had a bad day and blurted out to a mutual friend about how annoying you found her, etc etc, is it very bad?

I know that bitching is horrid, and I know that most people's irritating foibles are down to insecurity, etc, and I know that I'm very far from perfect myself, but sometimes I just can't stop myself spewing forth. I hate it when other people do it, and if I do I hate myself for it afterwards, and bend over backwards to be nice to the bitchee, which I suppose makes me two-faced into the bargain.

Dear ladies, tell me you do this too. Or, if you don't, tell me how you keep your patience! A lot of muttering to yourself down the street?

[BelleDameSansMerci]

Ah, well, the thing is that you have to let off steam sometimes or you could end up feeling resentful towards your friend.

I'm not sure that everyone does this but I absolutely do. I have two friends whom I love to bits but they both drive me crazy occasionally in different ways. I assume I have the same effect on them. I would absolutely expect them to bitch/complain about me behind my back occasionally.

[Karmann]

Next time you feel like doing this just remember how horrible it makes you feel!

[ZZZenAgain]

eeeee

don't bitch to a mutual friend. That can backfire.

[hormonesnomore]

I do it, but only on here

[BelleDameSansMerci]

Oh dear... Looks like I'm the only terrible person! It is only those two friends, honestly.

[Speckledeggy]

I do it too - and hate myself for it too if it's any consolation.

Not sure what to suggest really.

[herbaceous]

I don't do it often, and had been proud of myself for not doing it at all since knowing this particular friend, despite severe provocation. The mutual friend has often dropped hints that she finds her equally irritating, which is why I thought I'd find a sympathetic ear to diffuse my tension. She was sadly more diplomatic than me, however.

[junkcollector]

I do it too, but mostly to DH who just rolls his eyes.

Don't worry about it.On the flip side I wouldn't want to be the kind of person who people never moaned about or found irritating. How boring would that make me?

[templemaiden]

I have one very good friend whom I love dearly - she has no annoying foibles and is the perfect friend. But I use her as an ear to bitch about my dh when he us being an arse. Sometimes we need someone to bitch to - but it is vital that the person is trustworthy enough to keep it to themselves and also that they know that you're just letting off steam and that the person you are bitching about is mostly really nice.

I also have a blog in which I write all the things I can't even tell my friend :)