Does anyone else think they are just not cut out for a relationship... like ever... as in never... for life... end of?

[LastOrdersAgain]

Because I don't think I am

Which is gutting to admit. Especially when I have a fantastic boyfriend who wants nothing more in life than me. But I'm just not 100% happy. I start arguements, and can't stand being in his company for anymore then 48hours. And I love the time I spend alone with my ds - I'm a lone parent, been with bf about 8 months, he doesn't live with me. But just love it being me and ds and can't see me ever moving out the flat that we live in. Don't want anymore dc either.

Anyone else feel like this? I think I'd be at my most happiest single. Forever.

[Exogenesis]

Me...


Everyone tells me that one day someone will come along and I will change my mind. Not so sure myself love it being me and DD and I just like my own company.

[LastOrdersAgain]

Wow, I sound like a right misery having read that back.

[LastOrdersAgain]

Yes to liking own company. I love me time, sitting doing bugger all, or playing DS/PS with DS (that's confusing!)

Love sleeping in king size bed on my own.

Would hate to lose my surname if I married.

Am extremely independent.

Oh, I'm gonna be a spinster with cats and an occasional visit from DS who is a high flying something in The City and can't be arsed with his mum, aren't I?

[BelleDameSansMerci]

I just had four days with DD's father (we don't live together and have a patchy on/off relationship). It should have been wonderful but, frankly, I'm glad the days are over and we're back to normal. I'm a single parent too - DD (3) - and I love our time together. I also like my kingsize bed but I usually have said DD in residence! I like it being my rules/my way. I have always been really independent and I find it hard to be with someone. To be honest, I'd love to find a relationship that works for me but I don't really think that I will.

I already have three cats - I'm getting into practice now.

[LastOrdersAgain]

Have 1 cat, and was told the other night by bf that I pander to the cat and he won't, which is why cat wants to spend time with him

I need more cats.

[hormonesnomore]

Me, definitely - I'm happily single. I'd obviously appreciate someone else's support now and again, but can't cope with the effort required to maintain a relationship.

Being alone is both wonderful and scary.

[BelleDameSansMerci]

hormonesnomore you may have hit the nail on the head for me too... It's highly possible that I just can't be arsed to make the effort.

[expatinscotland]

I have a dear friend, one of my closest in the world. She's beautiful, talented, a grandmother, has a close-knit family (she's one of 5 children) all living near each other so constantly doing stuff and all of them have children and grandchildren.

So much fun it's not true. She's 50.

She married once - not to her daughter's father - in her 30s, divorced in her 30s, too, she's had a few relationships, but other than that, just flings and fuck buddies.

And she's about as happy as it gets.

It's just not for her, the long-term thing.

And I can't tell you how happy she is.

[Janos]

Oh you know what, this is me too. I just love being on my own with DS and can't imagine any other way of life!

And I have a cat

[expatinscotland]

She's got a dog, Janos :o. Meeko. Oh, man, she does have her fun, a woman as beautiful as she is, she does.

But to me she's always an example, of how happiness comes from within.

For many years, it was hard on her, she felt like she had somethign to prove.

But now, she's just like, 'Whatever.'

[ginnny]

Me too!
I'm recently single again after 5 years and, I love it.
I never want to live with a man again. I'm so happy here in my little house with my 2 boys and my cat!

[LastOrdersAgain]

I just can't be arsed with it all any more.

I want to grow my leg hair, and fart in bed, and have a sound like sleep every night.

expat Your friend sounds like she has the right idea.

I have this wonderful dream of how my life is going to be in the future with DS. Where we will holiday, how I'll decorate my house, the car, the pets, everything.

Sad, I know, but not sure I can give that dream up. I'm far to selfish.

[roundthebend4]

i reached point where im to slefish to want to live with anyone else again let alone get married

Once dc are grown up i want to travel and do what i wnat when i want

[expatinscotland]

Oh, you should see her house!

It's a wonderful 3-bed, 1-bath near the centre of town (Denver). Amazing gardens to the front and rear!

She bought it all on her own, when her daughter was 12.

She learned how to do it all up, with a lot of help from her brothers and dad.

She tried to sell it, when her daughter was living in Vegas, but the recession hit and then, she was like fuck it. I like it here.

She trained as a tiler in her 40s, after working as a legal secretary from the age of 20, and having a full-scale seamstress business on the side, but it wasn't enough to pay her mortgage.

Now, well, I see her point.

If DH dropped dead tomorrow, God forbid, I can't be arsed. I got 3 kids, I got a life, I've been married 3 times, I don't need it.

[teaandcakeplease]

Me too! I've never been happier.

Just love it being me and dcs and can't see me ever moving out the flat that we live in. That part rings so true for me as well.

Everytime I try to entertain the idea of meeting someone else, I just think no no way. I like being alone too much.

[LastOrdersAgain]

The trouble is though, is I'm in a relationship now.

Quite a serious one, that got quite serious quite quick.

Now I'm so undecided whether its what I really want, or whether I should just bite the bullet and go it alone.

This sounds SO tragic, but I watch films, or look at other peoples lives with lovely families and happy times in their lush houses, and I think that that is what I want. And then I think about being single again and crave that.

Oh, my bloody head is going loopy.

WHAT THE FECK DO I WANT!?

[snowmama]

Can I join too please..

Been married - no good for me, had my kids - don't want anymore. Feel like I am free and liberated !

Expatinscotland - I aspire to be like your friend !!

[expatinscotland]

Who says you have to live together, though? My other pal, I'll call her 'K', has been with her partner for 13 years. They have separate flats a block away.

I mean, Tim Burton and Helena Bonham-Carter live next door to each other and co-parent their two children.

Some people need a romantic relationship.

Others don't need a live-in one or even a long-term one.

It's like the line from the book 'Cold Mountain': 'There are so many different kinds of love in the world.'

[LastOrdersAgain]

Because it's what he wants.

He's 30, no kids, own business, wants a family.

I'm 32, one DC, don't (think I) want any more, nice flat (ok, housing association, but "mine" none the less), starting uni in 2 weeks to do start my ideal career.

Can't help but feel like I should let him go to let him find what he wants. Even though he says I am what he wants.

But people change don't they? He may turn round in a few years time and say I denied him children etc.

Oh, ball bags.

I want another cat.

[expatinscotland]

Oh, shit. Yeah, I'd let him go. I couldn't be doing with that. But I'm 39 and I've been married 3 times and have 3 kids. I'd have to say, 'This was fun but I don't want any more kids or setting up house.'

No, no, no.

Own HA flat, starting uni. It needs to be all about YOU now. Because YOU are a single mum who wants to get a career to support yourself in a job you like, and your son, and he's someone who wants to do all the baby stuff.

Crossed wires, timing off and such.

But no, NO way would I give up a HA flat I liked, in this economy, or compromise a uni place I really wanted (when so many didn't get a place) for the baby thing unless there was a ring and some serious money involved.

Sorry, but these days I look after No. 1 and her cubs.

Nah. I'd tell this one, sorry, it's not you, it's me. I'm not wanting this just now.

[weegiemum]

I can do a long term relationship - been married 16 years almost.

But one of the things that keeps it going is that dh's workplace has a flat atatched to it and he spends 2/3 nights a week there - partly as it is 90-120 mins drive home after a long/stressful day (he's a GP) and partly cos he does nights on call.

I like my 2 nights a week to myself - I have friends round/watch a soppy dvd he would hate/etc. When he is home there is a lot of fun ( ) and he spends loads of time with our 3 dc - much more than he would if he was home every night!

My dh is a fantastic man!! But every night would be too much for both of us.

[LastOrdersAgain]

Baby...? <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=pixdaus.com/pics/1239732793dA45iV9.jpg&imgrefurl=pixdaus.com/single.php%3Fid%3D146298&usg=__k_DOL8ZW4o-vWO75NL6MMGxO_d0=&h=375&w=500&sz=32&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=-VaR6_fSw8BdrM:&tbnh=116&tbnw=152&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dscottish%2Bfold%2Bkittens%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1366%26bih%3D651%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=247&oei=-niBTI6YE9KBswaMmvyoBw&page=1&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:0&tx=90&ty=94" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">kitten? Baby...? <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.thecatsblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/Scottish-Fold3.jpg&imgrefurl=www.thecatsblog.com/tag/scottish-fold-cats/&usg=__T2PdIq2f4odwx_fa58dJB4msFzs=&h=1024&w=1536&sz=178&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=Xcon82BXuHejGM:&tbnh=149&tbnw=196&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dscottish%2Bfold%2Bkittens%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1366%26bih%3D651%26tbs%3Disch:10,120&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=130&vpy=6&dur=171&hovh=183&hovw=275&tx=165&ty=137&ei=OnmBTLizCtGKswbc0vSoBw&oei=OnmBTLizCtGKswbc0vSoBw&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0&biw=1366&bih=651" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">kitten? Baby...? <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.thecatsblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/Scottish-Fold3.jpg&imgrefurl=www.thecatsblog.com/tag/scottish-fold-cats/&usg=__T2PdIq2f4odwx_fa58dJB4msFzs=&h=1024&w=1536&sz=178&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=Xcon82BXuHejGM:&tbnh=149&tbnw=196&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dscottish%2Bfold%2Bkittens%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1366%26bih%3D651%26tbs%3Disch:10,120&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=130&vpy=6&dur=171&hovh=183&hovw=275&tx=165&ty=137&ei=OnmBTLizCtGKswbc0vSoBw&oei=OnmBTLizCtGKswbc0vSoBw&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0&biw=1366&bih=651" rel="nofollow noindex" target="_blank">kitten?

Kitten!

[weegiemum]

I also like cats. But as long as we live in a rented house, can't have one ......