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Any books/advice for friend whose dp is alcoholic?

2 replies

yellowflowers · 23/08/2010 16:27

My friend has a dp who is an alcoholic. He is getting help at moment with aa and nhs help (has been in and out of hospital lots for alcohol related injuries including being beaten up by a gang while drunk and also major stomach problems) but he keeps havign relapses. They have no kids so not asking about help getting them out of danger but wondered if anyone has ever been in similar situation and can recommend books and or support groups for my friend to help her - she is being an amazing help to him but am worried whether there is enough support for her.

thank you

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AttilaTheMeerkat · 23/08/2010 18:36

yellowflowers

Your friend may ultimately have to consider whether he is worth being there for because her life is tied inextricably to his and that is not a good thing at all. She will end up getting dragged down by him.
Al-anon would be good for your friend to contact as they are specifically for family members of alcoholics.

Alcoholism does not only just affect the alcoholic but everyone around them as well. She needs support and this is where Al-anon will be helpful to her.

There are often elements of co-dependency within such relationships and your friend is running a high risk here of just enabling him along with his related alcoholism.

She may also want to read "Codependent No more" written by Melodie Beattie.

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yellowflowers · 24/08/2010 09:14

Hi Attila,

How are you? I miss your down to earth advice on the conception boards (though am very pleased I have moved onto the next stage).
It is awful. We have all tried reassuring the friend that if she leaves him we support her in this and we are both their friends and want what is right for both of them. She tries to do this and he threatens to kill himself and she goes back to him. I know she has been searching for support groups and has gone to some aa meetings and found them helpful, but at the moment she still believes every time he gets sober he will stay that way.

And of course as friends we are worried that he will kill himself drinking or kill himself when drunk falling under a train or something.

I'll get her codependent no more though.

Any other advice welcome.

x