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Relationships

I think I must be some kind of evil genius.

6 replies

DoctorEvil · 20/08/2010 18:32

Or as scary as Zena Warrior Princess.

Went out with ex today with dc's. All going well. Ds (ASD) has a tantrum, which results in us having to leave the restaurant we are in. All very stressful. I bundle ds into the car at which he goes into full blown meltdown at having to leave. Ex suddenly snaps and screams in ds's face while very roughly shoving him into his car seat and putting the seatbelt on. Both dc look terrified. I grab ex and tell him to take his hands off ds and to sort him self out.

We get in the car and drive off, he begins to explain himself or rather blame me, apparently I was angry too, I am a lazy parent and this is why ds behaves like this, I shouldn't have wound the situation up by intervening, basically I should have just sat there and watched him do that to my 7 year old ds because he would have stopped and ds does not need me to protect him from ex. I short it was entirely my fault. I just kept repeating quietly (dc's couldn't hear) "you shouldn't have done that, you scared him" to whatever he said, refusing to let him make it about me, he then screamed "Dickhead" into my face "let me out of the fucking car" (still screaming) and kicked the door as he got out. I slammed on the locks and drove off.

Apparently via text message I have been informed it is all my fault, I make him this way and he will be a better parent on his own. Didnt address his losing his temper at all just my reaction to it. All these situations are ALL my fault ALWAYS apparently.

What do you think of this. Because I sort of think I must have some sort of super strength of some kind of evil powers to make a self governing human being behave like this?

I am being light hearted but I am actually still shaking from this, he sometimes did this kind of thing when we were together too and I cannot tell you the relief I felt as I drove off know we do not live together anymore and I wouldn't have to deal with him again (apart from by text message) today.

Ds says he never wants to see his dad again Sad and he hates him. This too according to his father is ALL MY fault.

I just wanted to get this all out really. Horrible, horrible day.

OP posts:
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sorrento56 · 20/08/2010 18:33

Sad

Your ex is a dick. Be glad he is your ex. You are never wrong when you stick up for your child or protect him against bullies. Don't make your son see his dad.

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Hassled · 20/08/2010 18:36

You poor thing - no wonder you're shaking. All you can do is a) pat yourself repeatedly on the back for doing the right thing and staying calm, b) pat yourself repeatedly on the back for the fact he is your Ex and c) never see him socially again.

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DoctorEvil · 20/08/2010 18:43

It is the constant blame. I remember it from when we were together, no matter what he did, no matter how bad, it was always all my fault. Very hard to deal with someone behaving so badly who is trying to convince you constantly that it is actually your own fault.

He just rang to apologise to ds but ds wouldn't speak to him except to say "I hate you" Sad. That will all be my fault too no doubt, I will have been winding him up, getting him on side. Let me just be clear I have never, ever done this but am often accused of it. It is very wearing.

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AbricotsSecs · 20/08/2010 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoctorEvil · 21/08/2010 08:56

No, I get that now, though I had a very bad time of it when were together, constantly trying to "explain" things to him and defend myself against being blamed.

What has made me angry about this as well is that I am even denied the right to protect my child. Even when it comes to my child I am supposed to defer to him and not question the way he chooses to deal with things, allow him to behave how he wants and then just gloss over it. He said in one of his messages "stop your Mary Poppins act", everything I do even stop him from terrifying my kids is for my own ends. Hence the Evil Genius analogy. Nutter.

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Anniegetyourgun · 21/08/2010 09:41

Love your name.

You are right and he is wrong, simple as that. He is sneering at your "Mary Poppins act" because it is a favourite trick of abusive partners to make a vice out of a virtue.

Personally I think you are a bloody saint for even trying to have a family day out. Next time bring along a human being instead of macho man; your kids will have a much more enjoyable and hopefully relaxed time.

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