Am I selfish to have these feelings!!

[packbell]

I fell out with my best friend 9 mths ago it broke my heart and if I'm really honest it's still broken!!

Basically she got involved in a bust up between me and another friend, they are still friends as far as I know. At the time of the events I was really down, and when all this happened I went on anti depressants which I am still on.

I've seen both these people up at school for the last 9mths it's been really hard. More so with my best friend we had been friends for 6 yrs since are first children were little.

Anyway her husband had bowl cancer he had been fighting it for a year, when all the upset came up with me and my other friend, my best friend said she could not cope with my dramas as well. She turned her back on me, not a word since!


Sadly her husband died 10 days ago, I felt it was only right to send a card, it's been the funeral today at 11, I was going out with the children in the car, I think in my subconscious mine I left the house later to try and avoid it, but when passing the church which I had to the cars were outside, well the flood gates opened.

I feel like I have had to mourn on my own, are families shared so many good times together and until today I have kept it all in since I heard the news of his passing, almost harden myself to it to protect myself. Coming back now through the village I have seen the ex friends husband outside the pub smoking, that s obviously where the wake is, and I just felt a mass of hatred to him and his wife that they were there and me and my family were not welcome.

What I am asking is, is it wrong of me to have these feelings, when I told my friends at the time I started to feel low I was told I was selfish, it now makes me think I not aloud to feel anything.

I can't talk to my hubby about it, he is much tougher than me, and say s to forget them.

But it's easier said than done!!!

[DawnAS]

You are entitled to have feelings and this has clearly been a really difficult time for you. It would have been inappropriate to act on the feelings when you saw the individuals outside the pub and you didn't so no harm done - other than to yourself for worrying that you're being selfish!

Today must have been a very difficult for your BF, could it be time to try and put the previous issues behind you, she'll need her friends more than ever now. As awful as the situation is, maybe something may come out of her DH's death and you could reform the burnt bridges?

I hope that you're feeling Ok - it must be a traumatic day.

[packbell]

I would never approach her or anyone else at this time, she only lives in the next street but I posted the card, to avoid any upset, I am not a person that does confrontation.