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Help me get this into perspective please!

37 replies

Shellshocked · 27/08/2005 17:00

I have changed my name for this. I am trying desperately to get my head around this. My dh has given me his old mobile as he has an upgrade. I have transferred my sim card to this phone so he has bis no and I still have mine. Anyway I was scrolling through texts and came across sent sex texts. I was literally shaking. I confronted dh who denied it then after busying himself with stuff came and admitted he had participated as a joke for a month. Actually the messge are over about 3 months. I don't know what to think. I feel betrayed. I don't know if this was with one or many other texters. The recipient no is the same but could this just be a post box? God if you knew my dh you would be as surprised as me. I can't speak to him at the moment as I find him disgusting. He says its innocent but I have a bad taste left about this. Can anyone help me get this straight in my head or is my marriage damaged now?

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steffee · 27/08/2005 17:13

I don't have any advice, but I can understand why you're feeling hurt and betrayed (and shocked) about this. I hope it doesn't mean the end of your marriage, why did he leave them on the phone though? Did he want you to read them?

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cod · 27/08/2005 17:14

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beetroot · 27/08/2005 17:15

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cod · 27/08/2005 17:16

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Shellshocked · 27/08/2005 17:16

I think hat came as a surprise to him - I don't understand how they are still on there as he would have taken all his "history" over to his upgrade. Maybe someone can explain as he certainly didn't mean me to find these. God he's just come home and I can't go down to look at him. I just told the children to go down and I'm pretending I'm busy for a bit.

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cod · 27/08/2005 17:17

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waterfalls · 27/08/2005 17:18

My DH has downloaded games for his mobile of the PC, witch triggered a string of sex text messages.

The same thing happened to my mother in law

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cod · 27/08/2005 17:19

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WideWebWitch · 27/08/2005 17:19

Er, a joke? I wouldn't believe it, he's been having an affair imo. You have to be shagging someone to send texts like that ime. Sorry.

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cod · 27/08/2005 17:20

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Shellshocked · 27/08/2005 17:21

I know he probably looks at porn sites/mags but some of these messages were sent when the kids were being put to bed or he was supposed to be busy with paperwork. The number is "recipient then 5 figures" so I am guessing he subscribed and everyone has a mail box. Then I think was it one woman he swapped texts with and then I feel like he had an affair. He didn't have an affair but I feel betrayed. I am going out to my workd colleagues wedding reception tonight. I am meeting other colleagues and we are going along together. I am trying to keep myself from flipping.

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waterfalls · 27/08/2005 17:22

blimey, what don't you say what you really think!!!!

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cod · 27/08/2005 17:22

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cod · 27/08/2005 17:23

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waterfalls · 27/08/2005 17:23

she will be a WAYNETTA type.

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cod · 27/08/2005 17:24

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Shellshocked · 27/08/2005 17:25

Waterfalls, he sort of tried to say he received them unsolicited and then began to reply in a joking manner. However, I don't have any record of what he would have received only what appears to be requests or contact. He's in the shower now I may just tip the hairdryer in on top of him in a second.

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waterfalls · 27/08/2005 17:27

I'm sure it is all probably innocent, I expect he was just curious, he would have deleted them if he had anything to hide.

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cod · 27/08/2005 17:28

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Shellshocked · 27/08/2005 17:30

Right rang the 5 digit number and it said calls to this number are barred??

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foxinsocks · 27/08/2005 17:32

your sim card may not allow it (some sim cards have to be cleared to do this sort of thing)

he may well have got carried away - these lines are very addictive (not that I speak from experience!). I used to work at a telecoms company and I could not believe how much money these lines make - they draw you in and keep you calling. It's in their interest to do so (not that I'm excusing him).

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Shellshocked · 27/08/2005 17:37

I could understand the addiction if he was at work, bored or whatever but he was doing this when he was home with his children and me - tucking them into bed, telling them stories then having sleezy phone sex chats. Yuk yuk yuk.

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waterfalls · 27/08/2005 17:40

Are you sure he has been replying to them.

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foxinsocks · 27/08/2005 17:41

it would make me feel a bit creepy but I would definitely confront him - if only to make him squirm a bit - you never know there may be a reasonable explanation.

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beetroot · 27/08/2005 17:46

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