do you feel claustrophobic in your life?

[carocaro]

I do.

My DH is so draining. He has been though a tough time and I have supported him through it all, but he still wants me to be a relentless cheerleader bouying him up every second.

I'm knackered. I can't do it any more. I would not mind some thanks and support. Why is it all so one sided? He's like this big negative blob from the moment he gets up. No pizazz, ummpf, positivity, get up and go etc.

As soon as he gets home I am going out.

Please don't post 'maybe he's depressed and needs to go to the docs' we have been through all that and he won't go, I've even taken him and he would not get out of the car.

[EekaSqueaka]

Maybe you ought to leave before you need to go the the doc with symptoms of depression! Seriously, he needs to take responsibility for his mental/emotional health and you need to take responsibility for your own. If he's damaging your wellbeing and not intending to do anything about it, maybe you do need to remove yourself, at least until he does?

[CoinOperatedGirl]

I agree with eeka, you need to take responsibility for you. You have feelings which need to be taken into account. You need to make this known, if you can't, then dump the fecker.

[Poshwellies]

Been through this and have had one friend go through the same.

Also been a depressive myself.

I have laid it on the line,and said 'I can't cope with you, sort yourself out or we are over ' type scenerio,it worked as I was very serious and at the end of my tether.

I didn't do it as a test but I simply couldn't cope with dh's mood swings any longer-I was scared it would trigger mine so selfishly,told him-GP visit,get yourself sorted or I crumble and it all goes to ratshit.

Not saying leave him.But please,think of your own mental health in all of this.He should want to get better-if he can't/won't try-be very worried,and speak to his/your gp and explain his behaviours.

[liath]

Sympathies. Living with a depressed partner is just soul sapping. DH has struggled with it for years, always refusing to see a doctor. I'm not sure if he's ever realised the negative impact it was having on our relationship. Things have come to a head recently as he's just had a complete breakdown which I suppose in a way is good becuase now the medics are involved so hopefully he will engage with them for the long haul back. However, coping with a DH with catatonic/suicidal depression is not something I'd wish on anyone, this has been the most stressful period of my life .

Unfortunately unless your DH decides to go to the GP for himself he's not going to seek help and trying to make him go is like banging your head off a brick wall. The one thing I said to DH which finally motivated him was that if I'd been depressed enough to be affecting the kids and our relationship and he begged me to go to the GP then I would have gone. I think that finally penetrated him but by then things were so bad that he just crumbled at the GPs and the next thing we had a house full of psychiatrists/CPNs etc.