can we talk internet dating

[menarepants]

beacause im totaly disheartned by it.

Ihad two dates lined up for this weekend. One has cancelled and rearranged ( but really if he wanted to see me, he would have kept to the original date, yes?) and the other has not come up with a meeting time or place, despite being the one who asked.

Ive been online dating on and off for about a year.

There are so many men on there who are either total freekin weridos. or just after a shag. or clearly married.

Then there are the ones that go on about wanting a relationship, but after you meet say there was no spark, but they would happily engage in casual sex with you.

Then there are the ones where you have the first date, it goes well and you never hear from them again.

Then there are the ones that assume you are in a relationship with you just because you are emailig them.

then there are the ones who will talk to you for months and months, and just never ask you out.

It is so crap.

But if i didnt do it, my chances of meeting many men are pretty much zilch.

[Squitten]

Your description of online dating sounds like regular dating! All of those men are exactly like men that you could meet anywhere else so I wouldn't blame the internet

Also, why is cancelling a date such a crime? Maybe he has something really urgent to do! Perhaps give the man a chance before you start slating him....?

FWIW, I met my DH online and 9 years later we are approaching our 3rd wedding anniversary and have a little boy and another on the way so it can work out!

[menarepants]

its a bit of a crime because hes done it before. Then i didnt hear from him for a few weeks then he got back in daily contact, asked me out, then cancelled again.

in that case dating as a whole is pissing me off.

[Remotew]

I wouldn't give this guy another chance then. He is clearly dating other women in the meantime and falling back on you when it goes wrong.

I've got a profile on the free site. So far no-one interesting has sent me a message. I'm not bothered and don't really expect to meet anyone special on there, just stay on it because it's free and have a 'you never know' attitude same as meeting by chance.

[Angelcat666]

I had one who cancelled on me, said he had to work late. I thought fair enough, said we could rearrange for another time. Later on he emailed me, apologised and asked if I could make it for the Friday (this was Wednesday). I said yes, so we arranged a time and place. He phoned me on the Thursday to confirm everything then 2 1/2 hours before we were due to meet he asked for a rain check. I asked why. Half an hour later he hadn't replied so I just said forget it, goodbye.

The thing is if he didn't have time to fit me in for a first date when would he have time? Plus if he thinks it's okay to keep cancelling on me before we even met then would he think it would be okay to keep messing me around afterwards?

I've got a date for next Monday so we'll see how that goes.

[menarepants]

well - good luck for it.

Its bloody annoying though. because i dont know about you, but i get all excited, plan what i going to wear, then you have to get a babysitter, or not plan other things because you have this ' date'. then it falls though and you have to either cancel the babysitter ( which is embarassing) and end up sitting in on your own.

Whats worse i think, is when you do actually make it onto a date, and you think it goes well and they say, ill call you in the week, this was fun.

Then you dont hear from them again. Ive not had a second date ( bar mr casual sex) for over a year.

cant work out if its me or them and my usual confidence is starting to ebb a little.

[MadAboutQuavers]

Menarepants - it's not you. Don't ever think that or you're sunk. You just haven't met someone worth it yet.

The trouble with the internet is that it's "faceless" - so it attracts all the immature, spineless, dishonest, shallow and self-absorbed cocks that there are. I spent 5 years seeing someone on-and-off who I met on the net and he was essentially all of the above. He was also on every single dating site there was - which should have been a good indicator of what motivations were. Ah well; you live and learn (am very happy now with new DP, btw ).

I do believe there is though, a small percentage of blokes who actually would like a relationship. It will take a good while, plenty of patience and a refusal to be defeated to find one. I'd also make sure you're on a good site (one that requires more than just signing your name and stating your favourite position) - eHarmony seems to be one of the better ones...

Good luck!

[Angelcat666]

Thank you

I don't have the problem with baby sitters now, my two are 16 & 17 and are responsible enough to take care of themselves. If there are problems they have my mobile, my mum's number and we have good neighbours too.

Just remember you may have to kiss/meet a few Mr Not Rights to find Mr Right.

[menarepants]

thanks - ive not got anything like that on my profile. Ive been told its very good. I get lots and lots of messages, maybe 5 or 6 new/different men a day.

Out of that i might reply to half.

Think thats why im getting a bit disheartned. Lots of interest but it never goes anyway. Im not short of first dates...

[toccatanfudge]

Shineon

[toccatanfudge]

ooooooooo - eccentric=fucking wierd.

My new BF says I'm eccentric

[toccatanfudge]

mind - he also sent me a text this afternoon to ask if I wanted him to come over this evening and cook me dinner as he knew I was spending the entire afternoon tackling my ironing mountain (and he is the first bloke I have met in my entire life who thinks my legs are hot..........they're short, very short, have stretch marks and are a bit wobbly, they would be the very last thing as I list as my best feature )

[CheerfulV]

Shineon, that was fantastic, thank you. You have just brightened my day immeasurably...

[Angelcat666]

@ Shineon

Love it.

[Angelcat666]

Oh, great, just been messaged by a 20 year old

[Angelcat666]

I'm 38, my ds is 17, will be 18 in October. Not entirely sure what it is about me but I got messaged by a 22 year old a couple of weeks back saying he wanted to take me on a date

[LisaD1]

Shineon should write a book! "The normal woman's guide to fuckwits"!

I met my DH on an online dating site, he was quite hard work at first (quite shy whereas I'm quite gobby!) but he was hot so I persevered.

7 years later we're still very happy, married, DC's, the works and he is no longer shy! I think my gobbiness must have rubbed off on him.

Good luck, there are some good ones out there!

[HerBeatitude]

Am sitting here with a pain in my stomach and tears rolling down my cheeks from laughing at that list.

What's the problem with men looking for casual sex? I'd be OK with that.

[toccatanfudge]

and I note all you have to say about the fact my new BF calls me eccentric is

...........what you saying about me eh????