confused...advice very welcome!!!!!

[clairebear28]

On Thursday I told my husband that I wasn?t sure if I loved him anymore or if I wanted to still be with him.

He appeared to be very shocked, got angry then got really upset and left the house to find somewhere to stay, he doesn?t have anywhere to go, he doesn?t have any friends who have spare rooms etc and he doesn?t see his family, so he came back home on the Thursday. I spoke to him after work Friday and basically asked what we are going to do, he replied that he knows how I feel and he cant change that but he wants to stay at the house until we move, were due to leave in about 6 weeks, he said when we leave the house we can go our separate ways but in the meantime he wants to keep things as normal for our DD who has just turned 5. Since then he has acted like nothing has happened, talking about us going away for a weekend etc

Im feeling very very confused, deep down I know that what I said was right, but for quite a while now I have been able to plod along with our life, nothing bad happens so its been easy to do that, but obviously I decided that I now need to put myself first?.Im not really sure what im meant to do, if he is acting like nothing has happened im scared we will just fall back in to plodding along and im worried I will need to say it all again to him. He is a nice person, I have fallen out of love with him, mainly because he has become lazy and just doesn?t make any effort in our relationship, doesn?t show me he loves me, doesn?t give any affection etc so over time I have just realized there is more out there. I watch him with our DD and he is brilliant with her, such a good daddy and they have a brilliant relationship and I worry about what this will do to her. Ive been with him for 12 years married 4 next year and this is such a big thing and im worried that im making a huge mistake and being selfish by throwing away 12 years because how I feel, but he wont change he promised to try harder November last year, and he did for a while but soon slipped back to the norm.

Im just not sure what I am meant to do now

[GypsyMoth]

where are you supposed to be moving to? look at that area...any flats/houseshares for him?

you need to take charge of the situation...or it will just drift on. he will still have a relationship with dd....ask him what he thinks will happen?

[aseriouslyblondemoment]

sounds like a typical head in sand reaction my exh did this
as whitecherry said you need to take charge of the situ and if needs be contact letting agencies etc on his behalf
fwiw your own reaction is normal 12years is a large part of your life, but you need to view the bigger picture here