Anyone for a fondant fancy? Let The Archers eat cake...

(960 Posts)
PseudoBadger Sun 02-Feb-14 18:44:59

TA is in a purple patch at the moment, rewarding listeners for wading through the dross of the previous year few months. Welcome all!

Marvellous thank you

JollyGolightly Sun 02-Feb-14 18:51:50


ComposHat Sun 02-Feb-14 18:54:04

Hello there PseudoBadger, be careful on these boards. With a user name like that,Daveed will be after you! Shotgun in one hand, shovel in the other.

PseudoBadger Sun 02-Feb-14 18:56:08

I've survived so far Compo! I don't have TB though

ZeroSomeGameThingy Sun 02-Feb-14 19:00:37

Superb dahling!thanks

Is it Kirsty being fitted for the Marie-Antoinette gown?

ComposHat Sun 02-Feb-14 19:03:52

TB or otherwise, Daeveed's a one man killing machine.

Nigel, Jethro Larkin and a harmlessbadger, how many more bodies is he going to notch up?

TallGiraffe Sun 02-Feb-14 19:06:30


Selks Sun 02-Feb-14 19:15:53

Lordy! Much drama! Go on, bugger off then Hellin.

That was a corker

Fab that Kirsty mentioned Brenda. Maybe he'll start thinking about what Kirsty wants for their wedding too

GypsyFloss Sun 02-Feb-14 19:17:11

Thank you once again Pseudo .

Bloody hell Helen, you are the most horrible cow ever to your poor parents. I hope dreadful things befall you and your poor son.

Helen and Tom the pair of then just take no notice of anyone else's feelings...

ComposHat Sun 02-Feb-14 19:39:05

Oooohhh I am heading to the iplayer pronto.

GypsyFloss Sun 02-Feb-14 19:42:10

They are both so blinkered aren't they Willie . Mind you so is Pat, as was pointed out by Peggy during their cosy chat the other day.

cheminotte Sun 02-Feb-14 19:44:44

Hurray found new thread. Just going to listen to tonight's episode. Am always behind so dare not read the thread in case of spoilers, but it s really good at the mo.

Panzee Sun 02-Feb-14 19:50:29

The apple definitely does not fall far from the tree, Pat!

Thanks, Pseudo smile

Haven't listened yet tonight so won't read yet - just marking place

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Sun 02-Feb-14 20:11:27

Marking place.

Where are Mike and Vicky? Invisible these days.

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Sun 02-Feb-14 20:12:30

Oh and - belatedly - yay for Eddie. Some banging-heads-together is long overdue for the Grundy lads.

cheminotte Sun 02-Feb-14 20:20:42

She's a clever girl - was it that found that pretty patronising? And did Rob really ask Helen to choose pretty did she feel she had to? Big red flags waving as they say on the relationships board.

ComposHat Sun 02-Feb-14 20:47:49

Oh god, Helen really is a rotten cow.

I assume she is so opposed to continuing her relationship with her parents that she'll be chucking her job with them?

PseudoBadger Sun 02-Feb-14 20:49:28

Good episode.

Stage 2 for Rob then - Helen's family and fiends nicely alienated. Cheminotte I also hated the 'girl' comments

PseudoBadger Sun 02-Feb-14 20:50:00

Lol - *friends! Freudian slip

Gigondas Sun 02-Feb-14 20:55:47

Ohh marking place as sounds like I missed a good one.

CuttedUpPear Sun 02-Feb-14 21:12:15

Go Tony!
That was great tonight. He said to Rob exactly what I wanted to say grin

ComposHat Sun 02-Feb-14 21:25:51

I was slightly disappointed that he didn't lay the law down to Hellin instead of being all apologetic and consolatory.

She basically invited him into her parents' house without asking, expected them to provide a meal and play happy families with a man they neither like or approve of.

She's got some brass neck that Hellin.

Selks Sun 02-Feb-14 21:42:54

She's such a spoiled (adult) brat.

Minimammoth Sun 02-Feb-14 21:44:26

I have some serious catching up to do.

MrsJoeHart Sun 02-Feb-14 21:47:47

Hello, can I join?

What's with the fondant fancy then? Even Jane Garvey mentioned it on Woman's hour. I thought I'd heard all of the last weeks episodes.

Bluestocking Sun 02-Feb-14 22:09:32

Sod off, Cheesey, and don't let the door hit you on the arse on the way out. This is great - she'll be trapped at Rob's. Let the Sleeping With The Enemy fun and games commence.
And as for Baron Sausage, he just gets more and more crass and thick-skinned. Do you think he forgot he'd had the building-our-own-house convo with the Big Bapper rather than Krusty? Do you think he actually knows which one he's with at the moment?

ZeroSomeGameThingy Sun 02-Feb-14 22:22:58

MrsJoe At Peggy's summit meeting, immediately after delivering her bombshell she said something like

"Now then, anyone for another drink - or a fondant fancy."

It was stunning. Devastating. The line of the decade (maybe.)

HumphreyCobbler Sun 02-Feb-14 22:31:50

I am looking forward to listening to tonight's ep after reading this.

GypsyFloss Sun 02-Feb-14 22:34:02

I particularly loved Helen's dramatic " we'll never darken your door again" , swiftly followed by " just as soon as I can move out". So does she intend to subject them both to yet another to bout of torture by silence? spoilt adult brat is right.

CarolineKnappShappey Sun 02-Feb-14 22:55:44

She is so ungrateful! Tony and Pat have looked after her and Henry for so long, and now she is having a teenage strop

Shallishanti Sun 02-Feb-14 23:03:37

oooh, sounds like I missed a good one! will be back as soon as I've caught up

OddFodd Sun 02-Feb-14 23:04:40

Pseudo - you are Queen of Borsetshire! grin

I hope they tell Hellin to piss off once she comes running back for babysitting favours.

Going back to the Omnibus, did anyone else notice the abrupt about-turn that Peggy did on the H&R front? When Jennydarling told her, she was as shocked as shocked can be ('but he's married!') and then by the few days later when they came for tea, that was a mere detail.

I listen in the week but the omni has a much more satisfying story arc on the whole (or feels like a cobbled together mess!)

I do wonder how long it will run with this storyline. It could be years. I kind of hope it does because it's so deliciously awful to listen to. I was nodding away at the end of tonight's epi 'yup there's Helen isolated from her family..' He really is running the abuse playbook isn't he?

Kind of hoping the wheels will come off the Kirsty/Tom bandwagon too. WHY is she marrying him?

BeaLola Sun 02-Feb-14 23:55:51

She is marrying him because there is no other single male in Ambridge in her age range ... If she didnt mary Tom it would either be Jim or Joe or wait for freddie or Josh to be of age !

CuttedUpPear Mon 03-Feb-14 00:10:43

OddFodd I agree about Piggoi's turn about. Inconsistent.

WhatSheSaid Mon 03-Feb-14 00:13:55

No other single men in Ambridge? But what about the lovely Jazzer grin? I reckon he'd be more fun than Tom anyway (not difficult)

ComposHat Mon 03-Feb-14 00:49:54

Mr Pullen and his dicky bladder? I always imagine him having a 10p size size stain on his fawn C&A slacks due to bladder weakness. Not enough to turn a young woman's head.

Jazzer and JIm (or in showbiz power couple terms: Jizzer) are clearly having a passionate, yet unspoken and unconsummated love affair.

Jazzer's serial shagging and Jim sniffing around all the merry widows of the village is clearly massive over compensation. I imagine it will all end rather like the closing scenes of 'Death in Venice.'

Eastpoint Mon 03-Feb-14 05:37:12

What is Helen going to do for childcare & work now? I find her short-sightedness quite bizarre.

GypsyFloss Mon 03-Feb-14 05:46:26

Compos you sum them up so beautifully grin

PseudoBadger Mon 03-Feb-14 07:31:30

Kirsty's tried all the other men in for size and has made her way back to Tom grin
From his POV, Kirsty or Brenda, they're just the future incubator for the mini Tom.... I don't like Tom

Helen will still be expecting to work at the awful Ambridge Organics and have her parents run round after the wonderchild. Of course she does. She expects to be as vile to them as she likes and still have all the good stuff they can provide. That's what she's always done. It'll work too. They will desperately try to appease her. I suspect they'll find it hard work though because Rob will be undermining them.....

except that she can properly punish them by not letting them see henry... decisions, decisions

Panzee Mon 03-Feb-14 08:50:38

That was their problem last time they fell out, wasn't it? (Think it was when she was pregnant). They were so worried about not seeing The Grandchild that they bent to her every demand. And Helen is "fragile" and went all weird about her calorie intake and insistence on eating stir fries instead of yoghurts and sausages, or whatever they eat at Bridge Farm.

Having said that, if we are going down the DV route it's better for her that Helen is still on even the tiniest speaking terms with her parents. If they cut her off completely then Helen is in real trouble.

JessieMcJessie Mon 03-Feb-14 09:01:24

Jizzer! ROFL Composhat!

Minimammoth Mon 03-Feb-14 09:13:16

They only eat cheese at Bridgefarm.

OddFodd Mon 03-Feb-14 09:51:54

Yep, I think NL is right - they'll bend over backwards to appease her. That's what they're doing at the moment after all. There's been no confrontation with her about the fact that she lied to them about her jewellery classes as far as I know - that was a conversation that Pat had with Tom wasn't it?

Hellin is brazen in her misguided self-righteousness. I don't think I've ever hated her quite as much as I do right now grin

TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 03-Feb-14 10:18:26

Can't believe Helen! what is she gonna do for free childcare now?

she really stuck the knife in with 'i'd rather henry were in a happy loving environment than stuck here with the two of you'

she's got the eastern european farm labourers i suppose, e.g. the one who misses his children

OddFodd Mon 03-Feb-14 10:42:14

I think she'll just carry on leaving Henry with them because she'll twist the emotional blackmail knife by saying that it would be punishing Henry for his mother's sins if they withdraw babysitting favours.

i think they might well be begging her to let them look after him

TallGiraffe Mon 03-Feb-14 12:10:43

Just listened to the podcast, Sundays are the new Thursdays! Brilliant stuff.

TemperamentalAroundCorvids Mon 03-Feb-14 12:44:45

Some wonderful lines

"Come on Henry. Let's go upstairs and make ourselves respectable."

Kirsty and "fence mending".

And Kirsty, quite rightly, feeling the chill.

ZeroSomeGameThingy Mon 03-Feb-14 13:43:24

The "fence mending" was FANTASTIC. And I felt a chill when Tom introduced the interchangeable woman to her new home. That's one of the scariest psychological revelations they've ever treated us to.

Cannot believe how full of wit and surprise TA has suddenly become.

(But assume it's at least half as a result of our influence....)



TemperamentalAroundCorvids Mon 03-Feb-14 13:52:35

Also loved how Rob's charm offensive backfired - he obviously thought the line of what a wonderful old lady Tony's mum was bound to be a sure-fire hit. But we, dear listeners, knew he was walking through a mine-field grin

CarolineKnappShappey Mon 03-Feb-14 13:53:02

I still think the actress who plays Hell'un has a lovely voice. Shame she's so vile.

Tbh I thought Tony only complained to Rob about Peggy, not that a married man was shagging his mentally unstable daughter.

CarolineKnappShappey Mon 03-Feb-14 13:54:18

Oh and " won the lottery" = " get my hands on this house when I gaslight her"

PseudoBadger Mon 03-Feb-14 14:02:43

And we still have Susan coming home as a millionaire to look forward to!

pasbeaucoupdegendarme Mon 03-Feb-14 14:08:23

Just catching up smile Loving the awkward rugby conversation...

pasbeaucoupdegendarme Mon 03-Feb-14 14:16:43

Oh arse, I obviously missed the salient line between Rob and Tony.... what did they say?? I got up to Rob saying he wished he looked as good as Pigs when he was her age, and then the next thing I properly processed was Helen raging. What happened?!

ErrolTheDragon Mon 03-Feb-14 14:26:30

Rob chose the wrong direction of smarm and Tony just couldn't deal with it - Hellin of course has zero empathy for her dad's sensitivity re Peggy at the moment (TBF maybe unaware of it because they won't have burdened their fragile flower with his angst) ... so instead of even slightly asking her parents what was up (given that it was really nothing to do with H&R ... oh, Does Not Compute) throws her toys out of the pram bigtime. Can't believe how grovelling T&P were in response.

Toomuchtea Mon 03-Feb-14 14:26:39

I've missed a few days but have now caught up. I loved the "fence mending" bit too. Classic Tom for it not even to have crossed his mind that his and Brenda's dream house on the farm might not be Kirsty's.

I'm looking forward to Kirsty and Helen in the shop. Poor Kirsty I imagine will be the one to bear the brunt.

Pasbeaucoup, Rob just mentioned what a wonderful old lady Peggy was dee da dee da, and that was enough. Tony stormed out, bellowing that he wasn't going to discuss his mother with anyone and certainly not Rob, leaving Pat gulping "Tony!" She ticked Tony off for being extraordinarily rude, and then Helen blasted in in her usual understanding and generous manner.

ErrolTheDragon Mon 03-Feb-14 14:32:21

Yes, will be interesting to see how Helen tries to play this with Kirsty (and Tom). Kirsty of course has his measure from supporting H. during the break-up last year - Rob seemed less sure of himself around her I thought. So.... prediction must be that he will insidiously drive a wedge between H & K too.

Songbird Mon 03-Feb-14 14:33:02

At last, I am up to date with TA and these threads – I bet you’ve all missed me, eh?

Things I am LOVING:

Susan and her lottery win – this is all just delicious, and even includes false details like the ‘lottery man’ coming to visit them, and them going down the ‘anonymous’ routew – ha!
Eddie growing a pair
David Troughton as Tony
Peggy’s insane bombshell - 2014’s answer to SATTC
Jill – poor duck has a storyline at last
‘Jizzer’ – how I wish I’d thought of this!

Things I am HATING (but also kind of loving):

Tom’s utter crapness - poor old Kirsty and her Last Chance Saloon marriage!
HellRob – I’m constantly enthralled but raging at this SL
PatnTone – ditto, but mostly raging, they’re so pathetic!
Ed vs Will – god, someone shoot the pair of them now! I hope Ed changing his ways means he’s not going to be such a bloody moaner all the time.
The fact that I got Pat in that quiz thing. PAT!! My only consolation is that it’s clearly years old, so maybe Pat was OK then hmm

Pollycazalet Mon 03-Feb-14 14:38:26

Can someone update me on the Tom and Kirsty house? Didn't understand that bit.

Loved Hellin's strop.

Toomuchtea Mon 03-Feb-14 14:41:58

Way back, well way back ish, when they were buying Bridge Farm, I think Tom and Brenda has a plan to build a house at the farm. Can't remember how keen Brenda actually was on this great plan, mind you.

ZeroSomeGameThingy Mon 03-Feb-14 14:50:07

Polly During Tom and Brenda's engagement he took her to look at a choice spot on Bridge Farm land and suggested it would be the perfect place to build their "forever" house.

Brenda was actually not that keen - and took her opportunity to escape for good.

Yesterday while Kirsty and Tom were on the farm he took her to view the same piece of land - with the same "dream home" intention.

Kirsty really was not pleased. And pointed out to him that he was forgetting that was a plan he had had with the last ready-meals victim.

Tom looked like thisconfused

Then thisblush

And K is thinkingangry

Oneglassandpuzzled Mon 03-Feb-14 14:52:36

I actually really, really hope that Tony's stock-fattening project with the beef cattle pays off and he makes a tidy sum. i feel sorry for him. Though he is a bit whiney.

GypsyFloss Mon 03-Feb-14 15:13:16

I do hope nothing goes awry with Tom and Kirsty , we need them to present an air of normality against the madness that is HelRob.

Gigondas Mon 03-Feb-14 15:21:11

Same here songbird- a very neat summary tho I do feel a touch sorry for tony and hope his cow thing works.

Also I thought his rant was excusable tho not polite so if Helen had wanted to she could have smoothed it with rob but didn't. As didn't hear scene was rob following script ? Or is he Hellen's desperation relationship as much as Tom and Kirsty? I think Kirsty is smart tho- she will yell at Tom,he will get the point and so it will continue like a more middle class Neil and Susan.

Sinkingfeeling Mon 03-Feb-14 15:24:18

Why on earth did Peggy gather the family together to tell them what's in her will? For an apparently astute woman, it seems completely out of character. Judging Tony not to have been successful in life as Jennifer and Lilian? Not leaving a bean to Debbie, Kate, Alice or Adam? Recipe. For. Disaster. Is it just me that thinks the way is now paved for Rob to conspire to bump off Peggy so that Helen inherits rather sooner than planned?

CuttedUpPear Mon 03-Feb-14 15:42:53

Hellin is yer classic PA. Really bullying her parents, who are so afraid of losing another their grandson that they flutter round her like bimbling sycophants.

ComposHat Mon 03-Feb-14 15:52:00

Is it just me that thinks the way is now paved for Rob to conspire to bump off Peggy so that Helen inherits rather sooner than planned?

It would be very easy. All he need do is send Peggoi a nice tub of Bridge Farm plague yoghurt that Hellin sells at the shop.

ZeroSomeGameThingy Mon 03-Feb-14 15:59:49

I'm not sure I'm ready for "WHO KILLED PEGGY ARCHER?" storylines!

Anyway he doesn't need to bump her off, just finesse her into thinking she'd be happier elsewhere or that Henry needs his house now. Not much of a stretch for him.....

KIrsty7318 Mon 03-Feb-14 20:03:34

Who I hate on the Archers this week (so far) and why.

Tom - after all what 'girl' doesn't see a wedding and becoming Mrs Tom Archer (first name irrelevant as anyone fertile and willing to pack veg boxes will do) as the appitomy of all her dreams and desires - so bless her little cotton socks, lets give her the best day of her life, because let's face it, it's going to be downhill from then on.

Pat - Tony should keep his mouth shut and it is all His fault that her mid-thirties daughter is leaving home, not that Pat is one to interfere in the lives of her adult children. No siree, not her, not her at all.

Clarrie - Susan should buy Keepers Cottage or whatever it is called and rent it back to Clarrie at a peppercorn rent, she should also buy a house for one of Clarrie's sons. Also how dare Will do something to upset Ed, and it is not like Georgie has a history of twisting the truth.

Helen - Just because.

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Mon 03-Feb-14 20:33:04

That scene with Pat and Jennifer was pure gold

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Mon 03-Feb-14 20:33:34

(Willie here)

GypsyFloss Mon 03-Feb-14 20:43:51

Great name Willie. I can just hear her. Like ear worm.

ZeroSomeGameThingy Mon 03-Feb-14 20:45:19

It did occur to me that if Hazel tried putting the Grundys' house up for sale Will could buy it for his parents. Funded by selling (No 1 The Green?) his buy to let house. After all it's not as if his tenants will need it for much longer.

I do hope Susan will find she has a job to come back to. The way things are escalating Pat might decide to advertise her position to save time.

Jennifer is evil. shock She was clearly hoping that a few well chosen words from her to Peggy would have been enough to disinherit Helen. Sneaky....

KIrsty7318 Mon 03-Feb-14 21:20:46

Oh, I forgot.
Jennifer sneering at the thought of going shopping with Susan - Susan with all her faults is a grafter, unlike Jennifer 'turn a blind eye and keep my comfortable lifestyle' Aldridge.

Pat (again) how dare Susan inconvenience her by leaving . Shouldn't she be happy to slog away a minimum wage job, even if she has won a fortune on the lottery.

CuttedUpPear Mon 03-Feb-14 21:54:10

KIrsty7318 Susan hasn't won a fortune on the lottery.

She won £4,500, of which she gave Emma £500, and most of the rest will have been spent on their holiday. So no one will be buying any houses or giving up work.

By the time Susan comes back the whole village will have been whipped up in to a frenzy of blagging and sycophantic congratulating.

GypsyFloss Mon 03-Feb-14 22:14:39

Poor Susan I hope it doesn't spoil her return.

I can just hear her now. " Oh Neeyul, we've had ever such a loverly holler day and now everyone's askin' how much we won and it's taken the shine right off my tan."

Blessed Neil, for he is a saint in my eyes, will shrug his shoulders, roll his eyes and nip down to check the pigs , safe in the knowledge that Soosan will always need something to fret about.

KIrsty7318 Mon 03-Feb-14 22:29:50

But Pat thinks she has, and instead of being happy for Susan she is pulling a face like a cat's bum and hoping Susan isn't going to give up working.

BasketzatDawn Mon 03-Feb-14 23:16:10

As if nobody else in the village/environs thereof wouldn't want a job in the dairy. Susan's sister even! Pat is so annoying just now.

ComposHat Tue 04-Feb-14 00:12:55

zero if anyone deserved a good disinheriting it is Hellin.

It seems money (either Peggoi's Will or Jailbird Susan's lottery win) has turned everyone into a unpleasant, avaricious arseholes or late.

This is okay because even though I love the Archers, I actively dislike about 80% of the characters.

Saker Tue 04-Feb-14 10:15:49

Delurking to say, that I wonder whether the SWs might not see the Rob Helen storyline with the clarity and experience of the MN relationships board. I think they might more see as it true love triumphs, Rob and Helen live happily (for a bit anyway), Pat and Tony eventually realise they were wrong about him and Wise Old Peggy was right. I can't believe that Jess would take it all lying down without so much as a return visit to Ambridge to pick up some things and have a confrontation with Helen in Ambridge Organics.

I liked the bit with Tom and Kirsty. I never had a high opinion of Tom, but I felt sorry for him about Brenda and thought perhaps I had misjudged him, but no, basically he has his life planned out and just needs a woman in the right places and it doesn't matter too much who. I think Kirsty is way too good for him.

Loving the idea of Jim and Jazzer. It will be like Four Weddings and a Funeral where no-one realises until it's all too late.

ErrolTheDragon Tue 04-Feb-14 10:24:49

Unfortunately I don't think either Jim or Jazzer swings that way. grin

Susan is going to be really pissed off when she gets back - such a shame, 4.5K was exactly the right amount of money for her to win at that point to fund the holiday. Neeyul (perfect spelling!) will as you say be fine. I think he's probably my favourite character - the unassuming pillar of the community.

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Tue 04-Feb-14 10:28:49

that's my fear saker, and where we heard rob being abusive and gaslighting jess, the SWs were just intending us to hear 'problems in the marriage'

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Tue 04-Feb-14 10:29:54

lol errol, do you think that whatever susan and neil say there will forever be a suspicion that they have squirrelled away millions? grin

Panzee Tue 04-Feb-14 10:32:29

I didn't like Neil when Ed was on the bones of his arse re the milk prices. But that was during a dark period of the Archers - maybe it's a bit like Bobby in the shower in Dallas. grin

ErrolTheDragon Tue 04-Feb-14 10:58:08

IIRC Neil (along with David) gave Ed support in working out how to manage the business better - which was what he really needed. That and a roof over his head.

Panzee Tue 04-Feb-14 11:03:48

But after all the fuss he put the milk price back up anyway. Like I said though, the Archers was weird then.

ComposHat Tue 04-Feb-14 12:20:30

NO it was Moike Tugger being an arse over the milk prices if I remember.

Panzee Tue 04-Feb-14 12:27:15

Oh you're right of course! Neil is lovely, I'd just merged those two characters in my mind!

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Tue 04-Feb-14 12:39:44

i did laugh at jennifer's 'it's always hard when a child flies the nest, no matter how old they are' to helen grin

ZeroSomeGameThingy Tue 04-Feb-14 13:07:20

Saker OMG I had no idea, until you pointed it out, that since I joined Mnet I have heard TA entirely through the prism of the Relationship board. And I totally assumed (weirdly, why?) that the SWs would be writing in accordance with that.

It's almost impossible, now, to think back to how I heard TA before this thread and its many predecessors. Listening "here" has added a completely new dimension to my Archers obsession.

OddFodd Tue 04-Feb-14 15:39:50

I see Will is still being a complete arse [mad]

Listening to last night's episode again today, I wondered if TomKirst choosing to have their reception in Glam Hall rather than a marquee at Bridge Farm might be the snub that tips Tony over the edge?

ErrolTheDragon Tue 04-Feb-14 15:58:47

Will is an arse (the latest re Holly's having to stay with him) but Ed is still a dog-murderer. Though in Ed's favour he took Emma off Will's hands leaving the field open for the rather nicer Nic. grin

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Tue 04-Feb-14 16:01:07

I thought that, OddFodd.

Re emotional abuse: it's not just the Mumsnet jury that's worried about Rob. On The Archers blog on the BBC website a few weeks ago the summary of the social media comment included these bits:

'After Helen dropped a bombshell over at Bridge Farm, listeners were on tenterhooks waiting to hear Pat’s reaction and omnibus listeners tuned in early. Many berated Pat about her “judgmental” comments – but most think she’s right about Rob...The debate about Rob and Helen’s affair rages on: Is Helen walking into a relationship with a controlling “Menace”? Or will it be happy ever after…? Almost everyone raised an eyebrow when Rob told Helen that Jess knew about their relationship...'

These summaries are put together by Taylor Cresswell, who was the Host on the BBC's TA messageboard latterly, but who also monitors the BBC blog, Facebook and Twitter for them. (Nice work if you can get it!) As far as I understand it, she publishes this summary every week on the blog and it also goes to the production team. So even if they didn't start off by intending Rob to come across this way, they should know now that that's the effect he's having on many listeners. In the past knowing how listeners are reacting to a character or storyline has occasionally nudged the production team in a different direction from their original plan. So I think there are some grounds for optimism that Rob will be an out and out monster! smile

Toomuchtea Tue 04-Feb-14 16:21:40

That's interesting AllMimsy (great name, btw). If Rob does turn out a monster, all the better for us. Wonder if they'll let Helen ever have a white knight? Or someone half way reasonable, though bearing in mind her character perhaps not. It's interesting that having had halfway decent Helen for quite a while she's now gone back to being vile.

stilllearnin Tue 04-Feb-14 16:23:21

Crumbs I wish I had all of you here now so we could really get down to some proper archers gossip- nobody I know has a clue!

Why is there no proper mention of jess? I was liking new Tom and the wedding will see a story line coming to a head. Maybe rob will convince hell not to be bridesmaid and Kirsty will suss it and rescue her. And poor Tony, he is suffering and those sort of slights (from peggy) really hurt. What a cowPat for not sticking up for him. I need it to go to twice daily- at least!

ErrolTheDragon Tue 04-Feb-14 16:29:42

'Why is there no proper mention of jess?'

Indeed... one dropped salmon and off she goes without a backwards glance. hmm

HumphreyCobbler Tue 04-Feb-14 17:06:10

I am really hoping that Jess will turn up at the cottage and there will be a showdown. That would be a brilliant cliff hanger

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Tue 04-Feb-14 17:12:23

on the day that helen moves in maybe? when is that, did she say friday?

HumphreyCobbler Tue 04-Feb-14 17:15:34

Yes! Can you imagine. It would be GREAT.


ZeroSomeGameThingy Tue 04-Feb-14 17:44:18

Hah! Peggy's "will" just mentioned on PM. "How wrong she was...."

Saker Tue 04-Feb-14 18:10:22

My cynical head says it's probably just that the actress that played Jess was only contracted for a set number of episodes, so they haven't got her available for any showdowns!

OddFodd Tue 04-Feb-14 18:41:17

For the sake of plot development, I'm willing to try and be a vague facsimile of Jess for the price of a cup of tea. I could definitely get enough outrage into my voice grin

Is Hellin really so deluded that she'd believe Rob told Jess and that her shock was feigned? Ooh I'm so fantasising about this scene - it would be haw droppingly brilliant.

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Tue 04-Feb-14 18:49:50

excellent oddfodd - we'll have a whip-round to cover your expenses for getting to birmingham and back

GypsyFloss Tue 04-Feb-14 19:24:15

Sounds good to me Oddfodd . If we don't have a showdown what exactly was the point about Jess coming to Ambridge? We could have heard their marriage end as a one sided affair. Unless of course we needed to see the shitty side of Rob which case they had better make this a good 'un.

And whilst on that subject why is no gossiping properly about it all? They need a school gate episode with Emmur and A. N. Other mum have a good old nosey natter. Or at the very least Emmur and Soosan getting caught by Helen speculating in the village shop.

TemperamentalAroundCorvids Tue 04-Feb-14 19:59:11

It struck me tonight that Pat shares Peggy's opinion of Tony: he is a weak man who needs a strong woman behind him to make his decisions support him.

Actually they may have a bit of a point. But being treated like it, makes one less likely to get stronger, poor old {well-rounded human character} Tony.

Yesterday's SW had a very firm grip on how gossip gets passed round. And loved how Jenny winkled Helen open; even though Pat had quite rightly not expressed an opinion, merely passed on the fact that Helen was moving in with Rob.

MrsCampbellBlack Tue 04-Feb-14 19:59:17

You'd have thought that emmur would have been on the phone to helen to discuss how love triumphs over everything. And starter marriages don't really count anyway wink

PrincessFiorimonde Tue 04-Feb-14 20:31:38

Thanks for this thread!

Where is Jess? I really think she should be back for a showdown with Rob and/or Helen. Please don't tell me that she's just going to be airbrushed out with not another word said!

Will is an arse (the latest re Holly's having to stay with him) but Ed is still a dog-murderer. Though in Ed's favour he took Emma off Will's hands, leaving the field open for the rather nicer Nic. Oh yes! I don't think I can be either Team Ed or Team Will. Both are such annoying whingers. And oh yes again to whoever on the last thread referred to 'Georgie' Fauntleroy.

I'm really enjoying all the speculation about Susan and her Lottery winnings.

GypsyFloss Tue 04-Feb-14 20:33:05

Exactly. Instead we have everyone going " moving in together, oh that's nice" rather than " bloody hell that's quick , didn't his missus only turn up a couple of weeks ago, where's she gone?"

PseudoBadger Tue 04-Feb-14 21:14:38

I've said it before and I've said it again - HellQueen IS Fremont - do not anger her!!!

PseudoBadger Tue 04-Feb-14 21:16:13
Lomaamina Tue 04-Feb-14 22:01:35

Has anyone seen this week's BBC Archers website quiz? Have a go and see if the response stats surprise you:

OddFodd Tue 04-Feb-14 22:02:54


We all need to vote multiple times and skew the stats so that people realise!

ZeroSomeGameThingy Tue 04-Feb-14 22:03:44

Horrid story. But thank you - I hadn't read it before.

PseudoBadger Tue 04-Feb-14 22:04:23

People are naive!

PseudoBadger Tue 04-Feb-14 22:05:22

Sorry Zero I should've put a warning on it!

Lomaamina Tue 04-Feb-14 22:11:06

oddfodd yup!

TemperamentalAroundCorvids Tue 04-Feb-14 22:16:15

I've been haunted by that story since I first read it in my teens, some 40 plus years ago. I followed the link the first time you posted it, and the first paragraph was plenty...

GypsyFloss Tue 04-Feb-14 22:33:24

I just voted and am shocked by the results. How can more people think Pat n Tone should be more accepting of Hellrob? Really ?

Toomuchtea Tue 04-Feb-14 22:35:17

Can anyone tell me exactly what did happen at Jess' party? I completely failed to listen again.

OddFodd Tue 04-Feb-14 22:40:01

That story is horrible and disturbing Pseudo. Not bedtime reading!

Toomuchtea - the party was dreadful. There were hissed arguments between Jess and Rob all evening and everyone was very uncomfortable. Rob was being a sulky git and refusing to lift a finger or make anyone welcome while Jess was trying to be the hostess with the mostest. And no one ate the dressed salmon she'd slaved over (on jenny darling's advice) and when she was carrying it into the kitchen she dropped it and Rob told her he didn't care and he was going to bed. If it had been real life, he would have said 'your fucking salmon'. It was really very horrible

PseudoBadger Tue 04-Feb-14 22:43:38

Sorry sorry I'll get it deleted....

HumphreyCobbler Tue 04-Feb-14 22:45:41

OMG that STORY shock

HumphreyCobbler Tue 04-Feb-14 22:46:39

No, it was great! But horrible..

It reminds me of an early Star Trek episode where they met God and he was an insane child.

ZeroSomeGameThingy Tue 04-Feb-14 22:48:04

I don't think there's any need Pseudo. Sure it can't compete for horridness with anything on TV right now.

PseudoBadger Tue 04-Feb-14 22:49:31

That's how I feel about it Humphrey, great but horrible

ZeroSomeGameThingy Tue 04-Feb-14 22:50:30

"Q"? No..... what was his name?

Adored that episode!!! Never forgotten it. And yes - very disturbing.grin

OddFodd Tue 04-Feb-14 22:50:46

Oh no, don't delete it! It's only a link. It's just very disturbing. And I agree, she is just like him grin

ZeroSomeGameThingy Tue 04-Feb-14 22:53:13

Oh! Was one based on the other? (Star Trek and A Good Life...)

PseudoBadger Tue 04-Feb-14 23:23:30

Not sure about Star Trek but there is a Twilight Zone and also a Simpsons episode based on the story

LaundryFairy Wed 05-Feb-14 08:08:08

De-lurking here to chip in about Pat, Tony and Hellrob. I think that Pat & Tony should be ever so welcoming of the lovely couple, under the maxim of 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer'. They would have a much better chance of keeping an eye on that shifty bugger Rob if he was lurking around the house all the time. And they would notice when the eventual signs of EA emerge...

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Wed 05-Feb-14 10:39:44

just listened via iplayer while changing the sheets. oh gawd what has ed got planned...

could the dog go back and forth with george, or perhaps a puppy needs more stability?

the best thing perhaps would be to encourage nic to put her foot down about a puppy being too much

but then frankly i don't much care where the bloody dog lives because both ed and will are nobs

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Wed 05-Feb-14 10:41:04

absolutely laundryfairy, and easier for helen to escape back to htem if necessary if she doesn't also have to swallow her pride and admit they were right all along

but bust-ups now are much more interesting to listen to wink

Nancy's latest smile

Love the door darkening

Songbird Wed 05-Feb-14 12:19:45

Those of us who thought Fondant Fancies were out of character for Peggy were clearly mistaken, now we know about 'Kitten with a Ball of Wool'. She's like a benign Dolores Umbridge!

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Wed 05-Feb-14 12:26:46

Shamelessly stealing an idea from the comments under Nancy's brilliant column (thanks, One!), how soon before Tom tells Pat and Tony they will be moving into a one-bedroom bungalow across the yard (with the living room doubling up as extra pig storage for busy times) while he and Kirsty take over the farmhouse?

Toomuchtea Wed 05-Feb-14 14:18:32

Which will be counterpointed with the saintly David and Ruth making over most of Brookfield to Jill.

I think Ed is going to approach Nic. It's what I'd do if I wanted to manipulate things get things sorted out the right way.

Thanks for the summary of the party Mimsy. Makes me even sadder I missed it. Why didn't anyone eat the salmon? I would have done.

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Wed 05-Feb-14 14:52:51

Toomuchtea, it was OddFodd, not me, who provided that summary! It was a good episode, but like everyone else I'm disappointed that we've heard no further scenes between Rob and Jess.

ZeroSomeGameThingy Wed 05-Feb-14 15:15:49

We don't even need to hear from Jess - if indeed her contract has ended - but they must at least indicate that Rob is actually planning to go through the divorce process. It's just needlessly confusing otherwise.

Thinking about it, I wish Ed and Emma could get married. Would be far more exciting than Tom and Kirsty. They could do with something to look forward to (and it would put Will's nose out of joint.)

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Wed 05-Feb-14 15:44:00

we could just 'overhear' rob on the phone to her, without hearing the other side of the conversation! <begs>

Toomuchtea Wed 05-Feb-14 15:56:06

Sorry Oddfod! Thank you for the summary.

Overhearing Rob on the phone is not enough. We need Jess. We need this woman the SWs have positioned as sympathetic, kind and full of all round loveliness to brush up against Helen. We just do.

Oneglassandpuzzled Wed 05-Feb-14 16:00:04

I am now all for Tony. I hope he hits upon some brilliant business wheeze and hits the jackpot. Just to show everyone.

I like the new actor.

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Wed 05-Feb-14 16:01:34

i agree toomuchtea, but if contracts and budgets and shit don't allow it... they have to give us SOMETHING

MmeMorrible Wed 05-Feb-14 16:25:28

Hmm I wonder if we're gearing up for Kirsty & Rob to have an affair and betray Hellqueen & the Sausage King? Obviously this is a long time off, have to get K&T married first and have Helen& Henry dependent on Rob...

ZeroSomeGameThingy Wed 05-Feb-14 16:33:01

I'm determined that Tony will reveal he has made millions on the fattening-stock market - just at the moment it is revealed that Peggy's accountant is indeed a fool and she has nothing to leave Tom.

Mimsy I was slightly worried about the olds being pushed into the barn - but Kirsty has said she doesn't want to live near them, so I hope that won't happen. Although the SWs are writing her as a bit of a spineless sap at the moment so she might be persuaded.

ErrolTheDragon Wed 05-Feb-14 16:36:50

>Although the SWs are writing her as a bit of a spineless sap at the moment

I wouldn't have said so - I think Kirsty is a canny lass who knows how to get what she wants without too much fuss. She's got Tom's measure and knows how to handle him.

Oneglassandpuzzled Wed 05-Feb-14 16:51:56

Yes, Zero, that would be fantastic. Poor old Tony: he deserves a break. I don't think he has ever got over being the one to discover John's body in the tractor accident.

ComposHat Wed 05-Feb-14 17:43:08

I think Kirsty has the measure of Tom and he is under no illusions that if he wants to keep supplying Tom Archer organic sausage for Kirsty's veg box, he should start looking at houses away from the plague farm.

GypsyFloss Wed 05-Feb-14 18:38:41

if he wants to keep supplying Tom Archer organic sausage for Kirsty's veg box grin Pass the mindbleach please

GypsyFloss Wed 05-Feb-14 19:09:10

The gossip has started. Emmur is on the case. Do you reckon the writers are reading us ?

GypsyFloss Wed 05-Feb-14 19:15:02

Oh god save me from them shagging please.

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Wed 05-Feb-14 19:15:39

haha in your face rob

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Wed 05-Feb-14 19:16:00

Well done, Henry!

GypsyFloss Wed 05-Feb-14 19:16:01

Well done Henry. Excellent timing. Kept it up smile

Selks Wed 05-Feb-14 19:16:54

Hah!! The wheels are falling off already!

puggle01 Wed 05-Feb-14 19:18:02

Love love love the toddler gooseberry in Rob n Helen's bed. Is he really going to see about cow snaxks or maybe going to harang Jess?

MissMilliment Wed 05-Feb-14 19:18:11

Scriptwriters, with these storylines you are really spoiling us.

Fab episode grin

Selks Wed 05-Feb-14 19:24:10

I don't think it's going to take long for Rob's true colours to start showing, do you?

I'm slightly worried for Henry in this...

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Wed 05-Feb-14 19:26:56

i guess until now rob has only ever experienced helen putting him first because she's mostly been able to palm henry off on other people. not any more...

CuttedUpPear Wed 05-Feb-14 19:30:22

I really hope that Rob packed away the non-organic tumescence as Henry slipped in between them.

Shallishanti Wed 05-Feb-14 19:31:14

yes- who will have Henry when she goes swanning off while Rob's in Essex (if indeed that is where he is going)

OddFodd Wed 05-Feb-14 19:31:34

It's not going to be Nic and George all over again is it? I'll be a bit disappointed. But I'd like to think Hellin is proper tiger mum over Henry.

How long do we give it? She'll end up moving in with TK so as to not lose face!

TallGiraffe Wed 05-Feb-14 19:32:07


Essex/Hampshire - was it not a text from Jess? Henry what a star.

Day 0 and Hellin is already having childcare issues!

CarolineKnappShappey Wed 05-Feb-14 19:34:09

What did Henry do? Had to switch off while they were erecting the mobile.

HumphreyCobbler Wed 05-Feb-14 19:35:25

arghh missed it and it isn't up on iplayer yet

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Wed 05-Feb-14 19:35:52

interrupted sexy time caroline, naturally he was a bit anxious about sleeping in a new place, and helen let him into the bed with them

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Wed 05-Feb-14 19:36:22

You're on the right lines with erecting...

CarolineKnappShappey Wed 05-Feb-14 19:52:45

Ha! Brilliant, thank you.

boobashka Wed 05-Feb-14 20:11:30

Fab episode! Keep them coming SWs!!! grin

pasbeaucoupdegendarme Wed 05-Feb-14 21:43:38

Oh that was wonderful. Isn't Hellin just deliciously awful?! Brilliant episode grin

TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 05-Feb-14 21:52:59


I really hope that Rob packed away the non-organic tumescence as Henry slipped in between them.

I haven't even listened yet

Helen was such a bitch to Pat shock angry

Never wanted to slap an Archer more (well, not since Kate wanted to take Phoebe away from Roy & Hayley)

Selks Wed 05-Feb-14 22:36:58

I can see Rob feeling very resentful towards Henry and possibly behaving nastily towards him when Helen isn't watching.

ZeroSomeGameThingy Wed 05-Feb-14 22:43:09

OMG -yes! They had that story in Eastenders a few years ago. Phil's fiancée (Stella?) Was totally evil to his little son when Phil wasn't looking.

Of course that's what they'll (possibly) do.

ZeroSomeGameThingy Wed 05-Feb-14 22:52:53

blush I should add, for the avoidance of doubt, that I don't actually possess a TV. But I catch the odd thing.

So, contrary to my expectations, the new Editir's soap heritage might work for the good of TA.

Wasn't the return of Holly scene exceptional? I can't recall ever having such an at once lively and detailed and tense and hilarious episode painted in Ambridge before. Really impressed at the moment.

BasketzatDawn Wed 05-Feb-14 22:54:33

'Oh Rob, your penis is much bigger than mine. Wanna look? '
In this household we use the anatomically correct terms, less sure Hell does.

Just caught up, as was out earlier. <sacrilege>Wasn't that a good episode? Scenes with Emur, Ed and Nic too. As well as the 'bedroom' scene at the end.I thought Nic would be p'd off at the puppy moving in. Will strikes me as the kind of man who gets his own way at home. No? though to a point Nic has got the measure of him.

I think Kirsty is okay with Tom - they love each other, I think. Better than Brendur and Tom, they were a 'mistake' from the outset, both kind of on the rebound too. And her ma had just died etc.

I'm sure Rob going to see Jess to tell her her marriage is over. So not Essex. The beeb will find the budget for Jess to come back for a brief sojourn. On the other hand, although I'm sure she's yet to be told, she may be very relieved to be shot of him. Happy even. Another option - are you paying attention, SWs at the beeb?! - she may take up with a social work colleague and they will move to Ambridge. She loves it there after all. And Rob hated it, didn't he? Anyone can change their mind, no?

BasketzatDawn Wed 05-Feb-14 22:57:16

X-posted, Zero. Twas excellent. The whole scene. But Em, Ed and Nic together was great.

BasketzatDawn Wed 05-Feb-14 22:58:15

We don't have TV either!

ZeroSomeGameThingy Wed 05-Feb-14 23:07:27

It was all the possibilities in that scene.

Whether Henry would be accidentally hurt.

Whether Ed would accidentally mangle Holly while trying to catch her.

Whether Susan's dream home would be instantaneously destroyed while she was away.

Whether Nic, observing the chaos, would change her mind and confiscate dog.


It is really good atm. I find myself listening a lot whereas in the past I've often just kept up with the plot summaries and then listened occasionally. I would feel sorry for Helen if she hadn't been so awful. Her life is about to take a nosedive.

Saker Thu 06-Feb-14 09:01:19

Yes Rob definitely lying, so sounds like things will turn out as badly as everyone is predicting smile. I don't hate Helen as much as everyone else, she is horrible to her parents, but then they are so miserable and self-righteous, I find I don't care that much. So I can't help but feel a bit sorry for her as her downfall approaches.

So nice to hear Emma and Nic have a civilised conversation.

Songbird Thu 06-Feb-14 09:43:00

“Are you going to come between us?” Baaaahahahahaha! It’s really not going to take long for the rot to set in, is it? Henry’s not going to move back to Bridge Farm without Helen is he? shock

LaundryFairy Thu 06-Feb-14 10:15:56

Just wondering how this will play out for Hellen when things go horribly wrong chez Rob. She might be too pig-headed to admit her dreadful behaviour and so will be looking around for somewhere else to live. Like, oh say, The Lodge...? I would love it if Helen turned truly evil and 'helped' Peggy to an early reunion with her beloved Jack...

PseudoBadger Thu 06-Feb-14 10:26:15

Great episode. I was waiting for Ed to shout "she's out of control! Get my gun!" grin
I think that Rob really is going to Essex innocently, and it's a plot device to show Helen that she can't cope with Henry full time without her parents.

Pollycazalet Thu 06-Feb-14 11:15:19

I think they are also setting up Helen and Emmur to fall out as Helen continually asks for childcare favours now Pat is out of bounds. Mixed with resentment for Helen bring given the Lodge when Emmur has to live with Susan.

Helen was awful to Pat. Unbelievably spiteful and entitled. She is a horrid piece of work.

Toomuchtea Thu 06-Feb-14 11:43:09

Good point PseudoBadger. I had thought Rob was lying, but it's just as likely that they'll go down the how will Helen cope without her parents line. Mind you, I think Pat and Tony will step into the breach just so they don't lose contact with their grandson.

I also think Helen was foul to Pat. It was the way she made it sound as if it was all Pat's fault her stuff wouldn't fit into the car. Eugh.

ComposHat Thu 06-Feb-14 15:01:50

Ha! That made me laugh that karma (in the shape of Henry) repaid Rob's philandering woth a dose of blue balls.

TheOriginalSteamingNit Thu 06-Feb-14 15:04:47

'I'm never too tired for.... you'. Squelch.

ErrolTheDragon Thu 06-Feb-14 15:50:18

>Fab episode! Keep them coming SWs!!!

Or in the case of R&H, not. grin

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Thu 06-Feb-14 16:35:31


AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Thu 06-Feb-14 16:35:50

Ah! Case sensitive. Oh well.

boobashka Thu 06-Feb-14 16:38:05

grin I know - yuck!!!!

TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 06-Feb-14 17:03:15

Have listened now
And another thing!
Helen didn't even try to put Henry back into his own bed…
Am v much enjoying at the mo too
Tis my 13 mins of bliss at the end of the day
Sat nights a bit rubbish tbh

Impomea Thu 06-Feb-14 17:06:44

Bet he's not really going to Harlow hmm

Pollycazalet Thu 06-Feb-14 17:25:16

I noticed she was expecting Rob to entertain Henry whilst she did supper. Even if Rib was a saint it's a huge change to suddenly have a toddler living with you full time.

TheOriginalSteamingNit Thu 06-Feb-14 17:34:04

She's a really dreadful parent - one minute it's 'shut the fuck up, we're moving in with a new daddy and I can't be arsed thinking about Panda Bear', and the next 'aw bless, did you get up in the middle of the night to get into mummy's bed? Hop on in then!'.

Shallishanti Thu 06-Feb-14 17:50:02

He is SO not going to Harlow.
I have to go out tonight so will miss it sad

ComposHat Thu 06-Feb-14 18:09:40

I'm not sure if the bed sharing is a harbinger of something more sinister.

What the fuck is Hellin thinking. Dragging him into the bed of a bloke she's been shagging for five minutes.

GypsyFloss Thu 06-Feb-14 18:09:56

Having the pleasure of living near Harlow, I can't even begin to imagine what kind of agri / cow business is planning to visit. But I so love the fact that the scripties pulled such a random place off the map.

GypsyFloss Thu 06-Feb-14 18:12:27

I think Hellin is playing happy families in her head and oblivious to the fact that no one else can hear her internal monologue. She will be so fucking surprised when Rob gets arsey about how much time Henry takes up 'cos he's his Daddy now and they are a family.

TallGiraffe Thu 06-Feb-14 18:45:20

I think the "can you entertain Henry while I cook supper" thing was brilliant on many levels.

1) why is she automatically the one cooking? Rob has presumably been fending for himself just fine.

2) being a parent involves doing more than one thing at once, like now when I'm tidying up the tea things, watching the toddler, mumsnetting . She has never had to be a normal parent up to now.

ZeroSomeGameThingy Thu 06-Feb-14 18:57:01

I must say I'm finding it hard to reconcile:

I don't need a man to have a baby...


I've met a man so I'm moving my child into his house immediately....


ComposHat Thu 06-Feb-14 18:59:03

No she didn't need a man to have a baby, but needed her mum and dad dancing attendance on her.

OddFodd Thu 06-Feb-14 19:03:44

I suspect in real life, Hellin wouldn't have got through the counselling interview

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Thu 06-Feb-14 19:16:20

Harlow schmarlow! He's in Hampshire and Jess is not playing ball.

BitOutOfPractice Thu 06-Feb-14 19:18:34

Hmmmm....very curious! I mean south of Birmingham to Harlow isn't exactly to the moon and back is it? Two hours tops! What the actual is that all about?!

BitOutOfPractice Thu 06-Feb-14 19:20:03

And I agree - I am LOVING it at the moment. Lots of sub plots (the Carter Millions, Valentines at the Bull etc) along with a few meatier stories (Hellin and Rib, Peggy's Will, Jill's Problems, Will'n'Ed)

It's great!

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Thu 06-Feb-14 19:21:23

Even the funny storylines are actually...... moderately amusing! Not what we've come to expect at all.

ZeroSomeGameThingy Thu 06-Feb-14 19:22:56

Well that's great.

I've just posted


on the Westminster School thread.

Was meant for here. blush x 100,00000

ComposHat Thu 06-Feb-14 19:23:30

Worcester (which I'm kind of guessing at as a location) ro Harlow is a smidgen over two and a half hours. So if Rob's meeting finishes at 5 he could be back in time for tea.

ErrolTheDragon Thu 06-Feb-14 19:23:44

>But I so love the fact that the scripties pulled such a random place off the map.

Its perfect though - somewhere no-one would be likely go unless they had a business reason. Like Milton Keynes, but that's too near Borsetshire to constitute a 'long drive'.

You know, it might just be that Hellin is so used to people obeying her whims that Rob won't be able to manipulate her as much as he might expect.

GypsyFloss Thu 06-Feb-14 19:28:18

Good luck with finding that hotel Rob. I think your best bet will be the Travelodge by the station. Admired locally for its location and thus facilitating discreet pickup shags from the train. You should fit in nicely.

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Thu 06-Feb-14 19:28:25

If Helen and Kirsty had got stuck into the wine, I'd say it was well into the evening when he rang. It didn't sound like the kind of business meeting that would plausibly go on that late.

Well done, Zero. I started looking at that thread the other day and backed away sharpish. A random interjection is just what it needs.

BitOutOfPractice Thu 06-Feb-14 19:35:45

I go from Southend to Wolverhamptin in 2.75 hurs regularly Mimsy. That has to be just over two. I think Ambridge is more Warwick than Worcester! <gavel>

Thanks for the local colour Gyspy grin

But he's not in Harlow is he? Unless Harlow is on the outskirts of Winchester or wherever Jess is

GypsyFloss Thu 06-Feb-14 19:39:04

He has the creepiest lying voice ever. I hope he trips up and Helen , to paraphrase Gladiator, unleashes Hell. He deserves it.

ComposHat Thu 06-Feb-14 19:40:07

Yep the county of borsetshire is between Worcester Warwickshire (I couldn't be arsed looking at a map yo find a town on the border) but either way eminently driveable.

Yhese are handy tips should I start a torrid affair, pick somewhere dull and relatively far away. Preferably a New Town.

ZeroSomeGameThingy Thu 06-Feb-14 19:43:43

Do we think he's with Jess? Perhaps he's replaced Helen with another OW....

GypsyFloss Thu 06-Feb-14 19:49:23

Well you know what they say Zero ...marry your mistress and you create a vacancy...

GypsyFloss Thu 06-Feb-14 19:50:41

I was hoping he might be phoning from prison grin

BasketzatDawn Thu 06-Feb-14 19:55:21

My thoughts on Rob tonight?

1. Is he a serial adulterer? so a woman in Ambridge, another nr Winchester, one in Harlow, etc -though I don't believe he's been there/in Essex at all.

2. Is he stringing Jess AND Helen along, so going to be one of those men who spends half the week with each? it doesn't fit with moving OW so quickly into marital home, even if Jess wasn't in A for long. And Boss Brian isn't going to like so many 'business trips' - Brian is shrewd and will rumble him, no? I still don't think he's told her though - tis poss then he couldn't travel back cos she had him by the balls. His voice did sound a bit strangled on the phone.

3. There was a third - it came from DH - I've forgotten it .... blush

Cooroo Thu 06-Feb-14 19:57:40

Was I the only one hoping the door bell was Jess, who I'm sure is quite unaware that she's getting divorced?

Would love to hear the conversation that would ensure when she found Helen and kirsty happily glugging wine in her living room.

BasketzatDawn Thu 06-Feb-14 19:58:54

Indeed , I was thinking that about mistresses and vacancies - an awful lot of OW seem to not twig to this till later.

4. Of course he could just be knackered after a disturbed night e-with a toddler in his bed. He is unaccustomed to toddlers' night time habits (Gd, I wish I were!). Being a kind of 'entitled barsteward' <good MN terminology), he could just b=not be able to face coming home and favours a night in a hotel.

BasketzatDawn Thu 06-Feb-14 20:00:05

Cooroo, that being Jess at door did cross my mind too.

ZeroSomeGameThingy Thu 06-Feb-14 20:01:12

Well he's certainly somewhere making up for Wednesday interruptus....

(Please god let me not accidentally post this on a schools thread...)

KIrsty7318 Thu 06-Feb-14 20:03:21

This valentines singles night that Doreen is organising. How many single people live in ambridge? Is it just going to be Jill and Aunty Christine battling it out to see who gets to shag Jazzer?

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Thu 06-Feb-14 20:12:17

I was thinking a couple of things re Rob

He could be punishing Helen for the previous night by depriving her of his company / not rushing home to be in her arms

He could have genuinely been at this meeting and have met someone he wants a ONS with

guineapiglet Thu 06-Feb-14 20:13:22

Well i live in Winchester and am keeping my eye out for Rob cruising the bars on the pick up.... Theres a couple over there arguing,could it be them?

<whistels nonchalantly and moves nearer>

guineapiglet Thu 06-Feb-14 20:13:52

Whoops. Whistles.

stilllearnin Thu 06-Feb-14 20:39:47

Pants on fire indeed! Is he one of those that start things all guns blazing and backs out super quick? Hope it doesn't end too soon - its too much fun all this speculation. I am still hoping Henry's donor dad is revealed in order to rescue them or am I completely barking up the wrong tree? Does anyone remember if it was truly anonymous??!

If you were listening at the time of the immaculate conception you will remember that the Ambridge up the duff fairy was well and truly to the fore - Helen, relatively recently recovered from ANOREXIA and the SUICIDE of her bloke, was waved through the process and then got A CANCELLATION for the AI which enabled her to instantly conceive as I recall. She then bossed and blissed her way through her pregnancy bullying her poor dad who really found it tough before finally hitting reality in the shape of pre-eclampsia on the same night as Nigel fell off the roof. Even then the Ambridge Midwife fairy was well to the fore providing Amy at the party to spot her symptoms. Strangely Helen, despite her devouring of pregnancy books etc didn't notice her hugely swollen feet and headache.....

Sorry I started this post ages ago and now x posted! No - it was anonymous.

PseudoBadger Thu 06-Feb-14 20:53:49

Basketz - Brian will understand Rob!

BasketzatDawn Thu 06-Feb-14 21:03:00

Pseudo, I was thinking that too - but then thought, no he won't - cos it will be his niece Rob is shafting (that may b the wrong verb in the circs, but anyway). I know B 'only' married into the Archers but he will see the family solidarity thing as important in the situation, I think.

Guinea, I hope it was TA signature tune you were whistling. The good folk of Winchester will think you're barking but if it is Rob you'll have mad a new friend. grin

BasketzatDawn Thu 06-Feb-14 21:04:17

Not mad, made. obviously. I am careless typist, sorry.

Lomaamina Thu 06-Feb-14 21:11:02

I too was praying that the doorbell would be Jess... And the telephone. Ooh the drama that'd create!

LaundryFairy Thu 06-Feb-14 21:27:47

Perhaps Rob will suggest that they hire one of the mega-dairy's forrin' types what's pining for their own children as an au pair? Anything to get off 'entertaining Henry' duty.

OddFodd Thu 06-Feb-14 21:36:24

I think Rob's been to Hampshire to put Jess on ice (possibly literally) but it's taken longer than expected or he's shagged her.

I suspect Hellin will find out the Harlow thing is a total lie because Brine will say something that blows the cover.

On a side issue, WTF was Piggoi doing giving Jack's DJ to bloody Rob? Surely there are hundreds of Archers minions that would have been more worthy recipients?

BiscuitMillionaire Thu 06-Feb-14 21:36:54

Can someone tell me what happened when Rob and Jess split up? The last I heard they were arguing about holding a party and whether they were going to live in Ambridge. Who finished it? Does Jess know about Hellin?

ErrolTheDragon Thu 06-Feb-14 21:40:08

>Can someone tell me what happened when Rob and Jess split up?

No! Nobody knows. Last we heard of Jess was Tom saw her packing her car on xmas eve(I think) - day after the terrible party, anyway.

Yes, & not a word since

must be a patio job

BiscuitMillionaire Thu 06-Feb-14 21:46:39

Ooh, thanks Errol. That's strange [strokes beard]

stilllearnin Thu 06-Feb-14 21:51:20

Well it's a no to my less than anonymous donor storyline! But thanks for the info! I am hoping for a hell/jess meet up and I know I will feel sorry for Helen even though she's been vile and a bit reckless with Henry. I was wondering why rob would use work as a cover. She's bound to uncover this pretty quickly (ie by tomorrow night !)

Impomea Thu 06-Feb-14 21:55:59

Woo -when Kirsty said about feeling a bit wierd in the house I wondered if this was a hint from the SWs of gruesome things to come i.e Jess under the floorboards !

BasketzatDawn Thu 06-Feb-14 21:58:04

Dh thinks Rob HAS gone to Essex. I thought that was a boring idea, but when you think it through - would even Rob be daft enough to lie to Hellin when he knows the Family all talk to each other and Uncle B and Aunt Jen will rumble him if he has lied? I've had enough, I'll just await events, I think. <but speculating is such fun wink>

ErrolTheDragon Thu 06-Feb-14 21:58:05

>She's bound to uncover this pretty quickly

no, she's in the 'love is blind' stage.

waiting eagerly to see how Rob receives his unfashionable DJ!

BasketzatDawn Thu 06-Feb-14 22:01:09

Yes, she is blind to Rob's many faults. WE can see that! Do you think Poor Tony will be in a funk that he didn't get offered the jacket? He could have worn it as an extra layer when hoiking spuds.*

*= lifting the potatoes wink

Minimammoth Thu 06-Feb-14 22:08:00

He is definitely with Jess, I feel it in me bones. There will be a missing woman alert, you mark my words. Either that or he is going to string them both along. Bigamy, anyone.

ZeroSomeGameThingy Thu 06-Feb-14 22:21:54

I really can't understand Peggy. She might well ignore Pat - but having been told by Jill that she has slighted Tony, the first thing she does is toddle off and offer something to Rob - bypassing her poor son again.

Awful to think of Tony growing up with such an irredeemably insensitive mother.

These episodes are getting better and better. I was hmmat Peggy; then sad for Tony; then shock thinking it was Jess at the door; then angry at Rob. That would have been an entire winter's worth of emotion under the old regime.

Impomea Thu 06-Feb-14 22:38:03

I also think he is punishing Hellin for spoiling their first night together.
He is either with Jess or has picked up some stranger in a bar.

grin at Tony "hoiking" spuds Basket just like us hoiking our bosoms on MN

Jill was overflowing with empathy tonight

not like her at all

TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 06-Feb-14 22:45:21


Bet he's not really going to Harlow hmm

There are no hotels apart from a travelodge
I know- my twins were born there god love em

TemperamentalAroundCorvids Thu 06-Feb-14 22:46:18

<muses> Do we only have Hellin's word for it that she used a donor clinic? There was some speculation (not on the programme but on the internet) re Ian and a diy job I think? But then does this fit with how Ian and Henry relate?

Am saving the second half of the week's epi's for the Omni.

WhatSheSaid Thu 06-Feb-14 23:01:14

For a minute I thought Olivia meant her twins were born in a Travelodge grin

OddFodd Thu 06-Feb-14 23:02:17

Me too grin

ComposHat Thu 06-Feb-14 23:55:59

I can't take randy Rob's voice seriously mind you. He sounds like he should be doing the voice over for an MFI ad from the 80s or a voice over for a franchised car dealership of the same era.

Whenever he talks I hear 'Come down to Talbot Market Harborough where we have great prices on New C registration Alpines and Horizons. Drive away a great deal away this bank holiday with Talbot Market Harborough.'

TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 07-Feb-14 09:34:52

No, just down the road from the travelodge in the hospital grin
Also if he was in harlow today he may well have been flooded like we are.

BitOutOfPractice Fri 07-Feb-14 09:35:00

OLiviaMN your twins were born in a Travelodge? The NHS really has hit an all time low hasn't it sad

Compos grin He is a bit Pearl & Dean isn't he?

JessieMcJessie Fri 07-Feb-14 11:24:23

Compos I learned to drive in my Mum's Talbot Horizon.grin And often enjoyed listening to TA on its crackly radio when I was excitedly driving myself around aged 17 and a half. Happy days....

BasketzatDawn Fri 07-Feb-14 11:59:00

Important Correction:
Tatties oblique spuds are howked (unsure of spelling but think that is right);
Bosoms are hoiked (well, on Mumsnet they can be);
Hiking is a naice walk in the countryside.

As my mate Jazzer would say, ma brain is mince so it is. grin

I was thinking all this before sleep got me last night. Saddo, I know. Also thinking - what veg do they grow on Bridge Farm? I recall carrots and maybe courgettes, but not tatties or any other veg.

leeks smile

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Fri 07-Feb-14 12:13:07

David grows potatoes at Brookfield.

Bridge Farm must grow all sorts of salad stuff for the shop. Do they have polytunnels? I seem to recall some sort of row between Tom and Tony about that.

BasketzatDawn Fri 07-Feb-14 12:25:17

I think they do have polytunnels, but use them only for growing stuff - unlike Adam and Ian (who had their first kiss in one!). I do recall lettuces being mentioned by Tone. All is now well in my world.

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Fri 07-Feb-14 12:31:03

ew i would NOT want a snog in a polytunnel. my parents have one and it is humid and stuffy like a steam room. though some people like that i expect!

JollyGolightly Fri 07-Feb-14 13:15:36

Clarrie and Susan had a gossip in the dairy about Henry's parentage just after he was born.

JollyGolightly Fri 07-Feb-14 13:21:51

They speculated that Ian is the father because Cheesey gave him Ian as a middle name, but there has never been any indication that he was made with help other than that of the Ambridge fertility fairy (love that!) at the clinic on the other side of the Borchester bypass.

ComposHat Fri 07-Feb-14 13:38:42

Iain has been quite quiet on the Helen/Rob debacle. Surely he would have been round and told Helen to 'have a word with yourself you dick daft wally'

puggle01 Fri 07-Feb-14 14:05:46

composhat I would give away PFB well maybe loan him out between 7 and 11pm to hear Ian call Hellqueen a "dick daft wally"

PseudoBadger Fri 07-Feb-14 14:20:57

They definitely do pak choi at Bridge Farm

ComposHat Fri 07-Feb-14 14:27:43

puggle that would make my year too. Scriptwriters, if you are reading this, i hearby renounce all copywrite claims to the phrase 'dick daft wally' so please take and use this bit of choice dialogue gratis.

Ladyflip Fri 07-Feb-14 14:28:38

Oh I can't wait for Jess to resurface. Has Rob been off to shag her or rather belatedly end his marriage?

And Peggy is being an old bag. I don't remember her being like this before.

Peggy has been a complete cowbag many times in the past, Ladyflip!

nennypops Fri 07-Feb-14 14:42:26

Also if he was in harlow today he may well have been flooded like we are.

Perhaps that's the plotline. Hellin will hear a news item saying that no-one can get into or out of Harlow and the penny will drop.

nennypops Fri 07-Feb-14 14:43:19

Does anyone seriously think Rob is going to welcome Jack's old DJ with open arms? With any luck he'll give it to a charity shop, and Piggoi will see it and be mortally offended.

puggle01 Fri 07-Feb-14 16:23:39

nenny its called reverse mugging in our house - mugging is where someone takes something from you that you want or value - so reverse mugging is being forcibly given something you don't want grin
You say thank you to be polite and find a charity shop the far side of Borcestershire...

RocknRollNerd Fri 07-Feb-14 16:46:25

DH had to go to Harlow for the snip....perhaps after having Henry around for 24 hours Rob thought drastic measures were called for grin.

It is so good at the moment isn't it. I don't know whether it's better scripting or I'm just more well disposed towards it but even the extremely limited number of actors per episode seems less obvious, rather than just alternating two pairs of voices they mix it up a bit more.

Making Helen even more odious is a stroke of genius I reckon, it is going to make the whole DV storyline even more uncomfortable. Not only for the listeners but also because there is a good chance she is going to have alienated a lot of her nearest and dearest by the time she will need them.

CarolineKnappShappey Fri 07-Feb-14 18:13:02

According to the Radio Times Helen's evening gets worse on the 14th.


ErrolTheDragon Fri 07-Feb-14 18:22:36

Oh, a Valentines night special - how delightful!

HumphreyCobbler Fri 07-Feb-14 18:32:18

I think it is great too.

We should let the SW know they are REALLY getting it right, they deserve a gold star and it will encourage them to keep it up grin

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Fri 07-Feb-14 18:32:41

<rubs hands with glee>

ErrolTheDragon Fri 07-Feb-14 19:06:22

Baskets - bingo on Tony and the jacket!

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Fri 07-Feb-14 19:14:44

In the Bull there, talking to Jill, Tony opened his mouth there and put his foot straight in it!

OddFodd Fri 07-Feb-14 19:15:53

That was heartbreaking sad

Shallishanti Fri 07-Feb-14 19:22:27

bit worried about Tony...
he sounded like the '' man from the Fast Show

campion Fri 07-Feb-14 20:11:05

I'm just waiting for the plane to crash on Ambridge and then I'll know I was correct in thinking that all these fast-moving plots and character transplants were leading us nowhere.

The beauty of The Archers is its 'slow burn' approach to a story eg Brian and Siobhan's affair played out in real time, interspersed with nothing dramatic - change counting, idle chit-chat and the like.

Yes, there are a lot of storylines at the mo , but the more exaggerated they become the less I believe in them (as storylines, not reality!).

Jill sobbing in The Bull over a large glass of red? Very likely hmm

Selks Fri 07-Feb-14 20:48:15

I think Tony is heading towards some kind of breakdown. He had depression previously, didn't he? sad

orangina Fri 07-Feb-14 21:16:18

(Am so glad I have found this thread, will join in when I'm good and ready......)


ZeroSomeGameThingy Fri 07-Feb-14 21:27:26

Selks It was Pat who had depression, after John died.

Selks Fri 07-Feb-14 21:58:18

Ah right. Does seem like Tony might be heading in that direction though.

pasbeaucoupdegendarme Fri 07-Feb-14 22:27:05

Ah, I did feel for Tony tonight, "No children, no grandson, no cows." sad He's a funny old stick, but I couldn't help thinking how my parents feel when dd and I go home after just a few days' stay, so how Pat and Tony must feel after having their grandson living with them must be terrible.

Love love love the "reverse mugging"! grin MIL does that to us all the time!

ComposHat Fri 07-Feb-14 23:00:09

Bloody hell, if my offspring were the sausage king and horrid Hellin (one can only talks solely in business-related aphorisms, like someone who narrowly failed the audition for The Apprentice and the other who stomps through the house like a cross between a petulant toddler and a thwarted Tzarina, expecting you to yield to her every whim, I'd be glad of the peace and quiet.

When will Tony learn, his family are all arseholes and the only one who was halfway likeable got crushed under a vintage Massey Ferguson.

The cows. I can understand him missing the cows.

Selks Fri 07-Feb-14 23:02:30

What the friff has happened to Darrell these days?

I hate it when what has been a major storyline suddenly disappears without conclusion. I know he was getting tedious but still....

PseudoBadger Fri 07-Feb-14 23:16:15

Couldn't give a shiny shit selks grin

ComposHat Fri 07-Feb-14 23:17:57

I know Daryl has been dropped like a hot coal. Wonder if the actor has got some other work on or something?

Selks Fri 07-Feb-14 23:24:50

Ha ha Pseudo grin

Eastpoint Sat 08-Feb-14 08:08:56

I thought Tony was back to his full miserableness tonight. Completely thoughtless with Jill in the pub, moaning about the quiet at the farm, moaning about not being given an old dinner jacket. He needs to get back to playing with his tractor, has he still got his MG? Come on Pat keep him busy.

LaundryFairy Sat 08-Feb-14 08:28:12

Tony reminded me so much of Eyore last night.
And I think Jim is Owl.
And Linda is Rabbit.

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Sat 08-Feb-14 09:49:29

Kenton is Tigger!

Toomuchtea Sat 08-Feb-14 11:38:16

I only caught bits of last night's, but was very struck by Rob's pointy headed line when Helen dares to suggest a new bed. Shall have to go and listen again to catch up with Jill and the red wine.

On the WTP front, is Jenny Kanga? Kanga certainly too nice to be Helen. Or is Kanga Clarrie?

PseudoBadger Sat 08-Feb-14 12:00:02

Rob keeps saying that he's 'knackered' - that is certainly an interesting word to keep using....

And Rob avoided saying that he's had that bed since they got married didn't he grin

Tony was a disgrace last night, poor Jill!

TallGiraffe Sat 08-Feb-14 13:08:43

Why does Jess not want any of her/their furniture? Not that I'd want the bed that hideous Rob had made squelching noises in, but presumably there's some stuff she's attached to?

Minimammoth Sat 08-Feb-14 13:18:56

It's all very mysterious and NOT normal split up behaviour.

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Sat 08-Feb-14 20:40:31

Suggests that she might think it's a 'trial separation' rather than a more permanent arrangement

TemperamentalAroundCorvids Sun 09-Feb-14 11:18:19

Just heard the Omni - stonking!!

Am loving the little bits of ordinary things people say - the current SW has an ear for them - things like Kenton saying "are you a queue?"

Humpyrumpy Sun 09-Feb-14 11:27:11

Re the bed. Has anyone actually said no to Hellin before?

BitOutOfPractice Sun 09-Feb-14 11:44:09

Well Rob dis say no to Hellin when Jess arrived didn't he? She didn't take it well

stayanotherday Sun 09-Feb-14 13:21:43

Yes where is Vicky, Mike, Alice, Shula, Chris, Usha, Elizabeth and Jazzer?

ComposHat Sun 09-Feb-14 13:31:00

I wonder if this is a first Hellin hearing the word no?

Was she such a selfish nightmare before Greg decided to redecorate keeper's cottage in a fetching shade of brain matter or does all her difficult behaviour stem from this?

AnyoneforTurps Sun 09-Feb-14 15:01:48

Loving this thread.

even though I love the Archers, I actively dislike about 80% of the characters. is spot on, though I'm surprised it's only 80%. The only characters I actually like are Caroline and the late Mrs Antrobus. I have a love-hate relationship with TA and stop listening for months at a time but I just can't break away.

Sounds like it's time to start listening again: I'd hate to miss anything bad happening to Helen wink. All trouble at Bridge Farm is karma payback for how they treated Hayley after John's death.

HumphreyCobbler Sun 09-Feb-14 15:06:31

I too am still really cross at how horrible they all were to Hayley, but I especially hold a grudge against Hellin. I do think they are brilliant at writing the evil witch, her complaints about Pat not looking after Henry so she could move out had me seething <over invested>

ZeroSomeGameThingy Sun 09-Feb-14 15:17:45

I do see how deciding on having Marjorie Antrobus as one's favourite character might very, very slightly limit current enjoyment of Ambridge's goings-on.grin

Toomuchtea Sun 09-Feb-14 15:26:27

Zero, yes. Unless Archers Extra starts coming from the afterlife, which I think would be worthwhile, now I come to think.

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Sun 09-Feb-14 15:29:43

My favourite ever character was Nelson Gabriel who is even more deeply ensconced in the afterlife than Marjorie Antrobus.

Compos, yes, Helen has always been vile. After John died, she was very nasty to Hayley, as others have mentioned. That was several years before she got involved with Greg.

ComposHat Sun 09-Feb-14 15:33:59

Oh, why was she so vile to Hayley? I know her and John were a couple, was there a falling out?

ZeroSomeGameThingy Sun 09-Feb-14 15:50:34

" Was there a falling out? "

Yeah... You could say that.....

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Sun 09-Feb-14 15:52:41

After John died, Hayley helped Tom to keep John's pig business going. Tom viewed her as a full partner in the business. Helen decided that it was a Bridge Farm venture, which was not as I recall how John viewed it, and obviously isn't how Tom's run it since, and told Hayley that it had been kind of her to help out but she could have no long-term part of the business. Hayley was upset and backed off. Because she is a decent person, she didn't make a fuss. Nobody at Bridge Farm or from any other part of the family took Helen to task over her attitude, sadly. Pat was depressed at the time and I suppose they all had other things to think about.

Helen also behaved badly to Clarrie. While Pat was depressed, Helen came back from agricultural college to run the dairy. She promoted Tracy Horrobin (I think) over Clarrie's head. Bad mistake. I think on that occasion she did eventually have to eat a small helping of humble pie because that didn't work out well.

ComposHat Sun 09-Feb-14 16:49:57

The rotten sod.

Bristles on Hayley's behalf.

ComposHat Sun 09-Feb-14 16:53:18

Apologies if this is common knowledge. Sid n' Jolene shower based romps were the first thing I can remember. The Archers was constant background noise as a child (so I picked up odds and ends) but I only started taking an interest when I left my parent's house in the late 90s/early 00s

ZeroSomeGameThingy Sun 09-Feb-14 16:53:27

.....Let's not forget she drove John to his death.....

ZeroSomeGameThingy Sun 09-Feb-14 16:54:28

Hayley I mean. And Roy....


ComposHat Sun 09-Feb-14 16:59:32

How so zero?

ZeroSomeGameThingy Sun 09-Feb-14 17:09:19

You'll appreciate this was several millennia ago - so my memory may be faulty...

John and Roy were good friends. Hayley came to Ambridge as John's "comically Brummie" gf. Somehow Roy and Hayley began to confide in each other. One thing led to another...

John discovered them together and stormed out, distraught. Hours (or was it days?) later his poor father found him in the tractor, in the ditch.

And to be honest, even writing it down is uncomfortable. Even now.

(And I know it's only pretend....)

ZeroSomeGameThingy Sun 09-Feb-14 17:12:24

On a lighter note Stacie is going to be back in Eastenders!

I will have to find excuses to visit people at around 7.30pm....

boobashka Sun 09-Feb-14 17:12:33

Ah - didn't know all this history re Hayley and Roy. Interesting...

That must have taken place at a point when I wasn't listening.

What are our thoughts on Jill? I've always liked her, but I've noticed disparaging comments on here. Please enlighten me, Archers buddies smile

ComposHat Sun 09-Feb-14 17:16:26


I hadn't realised that Hayley had been introduced as part of the 'oh aren't the working classes hilarious' vibe that sees them used as light relief.

I have never liked that.

ZeroSomeGameThingy Sun 09-Feb-14 17:21:10

It was more a "townie" thing. Lots of squeals when she was introduced to the pigs....

ComposHat Sun 09-Feb-14 17:25:53

Okay zero wasn't there a bit of that when Nic was first on the scene?

I've always liked Jill, but Pegoi less so. She certainly isn't this twinkly old matriarch, but has proved herself to be a piece of work on occasions, all under the banner of being a 'traditionalist.'

boobashka Sun 09-Feb-14 17:30:15

Oh yes I can see that Pegoi can be a first class madam, but little old Jill. Come on, she's lovely, isn't she?!

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Sun 09-Feb-14 17:34:16

Zero, no, no, no! You've got that the wrong way round.

Long, long ago Clive Horrobin and his girlfriend Sharon Richards had a daughter, Kylie. They lived for a while in the vicarage and then Clive left, I think. Sharon worked at Bridge Farm, as far as I can recall, and Pat and Tony let her live in a caravan with Kylie. John was utterly besotted with Sharon and eventually moved in with her when she got a council house on the Green. It didn't work out and he moved out again. It may have been at that point that she moved to Leeds. He got together with Hayley later and things were getting quite serious between them - they moved in together (Keeper's Cottage?), but then he started dallying with Sharon again. Hayley walked in on them dtd on the sofa and was distraught. John attempted to get her to take him back, to the point of asking her to marry him, but she said no. IIRC that was the night before his tractor accident.

It was in the aftermath of John's death that Hayley became close to Roy, who was John's best friend. Very, very definitely not before. Roy had been through his own difficult times with Kate. Roy and Hayley have both suffered at the hands of Archers.

ZeroSomeGameThingy Sun 09-Feb-14 17:41:55


I did say it was a long time ago.

sad So much prefer my simplified version. But thanks for clarifying Mimsy. Compo I was WRONG.

(As punishment I will be Team Helen all week....)

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Sun 09-Feb-14 17:48:20

Your simplified but WRONG version. Honestly, some people just don't take this seriously enough. Anybody would think this is just some piffling little radio serial.

However, nobody but nobody deserves to be Team Helen. How about being Team Rob? smile

ComposHat Sun 09-Feb-14 17:49:56

But wasn't John knocking off Rich's mum when he died?

ComposHat Sun 09-Feb-14 17:51:00

ooooh sorry forgot to read the above. All is clear now!

ZeroSomeGameThingy Sun 09-Feb-14 17:54:15

Team Rob?shock

Compo Hayley did squeal when she met the pigs!

ComposHat Sun 09-Feb-14 18:00:33

That bit I can believe!

I didn't think the carrying on behind someone's back was Hayley's style at all, she always strikes me as a Good Egg.

I would not wish 'team Helen' status on my worst enemy, who in actual fact is probably Helen anyway.

stayanotherday Sun 09-Feb-14 18:00:59

I hate Helen and Jenny who were laughing at Susan in the shop the other day. They joked that Jenny and Susan would have to go shopping now Susan's got money - not. Rude snobs. Neil is better than Brian the squire womaniser and Helen's wimpish boyfriends anyday.

stayanotherday Sun 09-Feb-14 18:02:52

Kirsty's much too good for that family.

ComposHat Sun 09-Feb-14 18:05:22

Yes stay what I would have given to roll a hand grenade through the door of Ambridge Organics at that point.

Yes Kirsty should de-list Tom Archer Organic Sausages.

she turned him down when he proposed (?) after he'd seen the error of his ways with sexy Sharon, & it was that same day (I think?) that he squished himself with the Fergie

(Zero, had she started seeing Roy at that point? Can't remember)

oops, I see I'm a bit behind, I opened this page hours ago & have been listening to the omnibus on catchup!

anyway must just say that that was one of the best Omnis I can remember hearing for - oooh, years smile

cheminotte Sun 09-Feb-14 18:22:38

Thanks for the clarifications oh Archers experts! I was about to ask the Leeds grandson fitted input all clear now.

AnyoneforTurps Sun 09-Feb-14 18:28:58

John's dalliance with Sharon makes the Archers' treatment of Hayley even worse. John was the original sausage baron; Tom just took over the sausage reins hmm when his bro was squished.

Despite John's infidelity, Hayley stepped in to help Tom and kept the business going when all the Archers were incapacitated by grief. Helen then came back (? from uni) and told her to sling her hook because she wasn't a blood relation. My memory of it was that Pat & Tony were complicit with this - it wasn't just that they didn't stop Helen; they agreed with her. They therefore deserve all that Nemesis in the shape of E coli, suicidal gamekeepers and erratic probate decisions can throw at them.

AnyoneforTurps Sun 09-Feb-14 18:29:34

...though having to work with Susan is not a fate that I would wish on anyone, even Elizabeth.

Halsall Sun 09-Feb-14 19:15:50

Just been listening to tonight. God, Rob is a conniving barsteward! angry


Is Rob about to find out he doesn't know Helen as well as he might think?

(Hope so grin)

TemperamentalAroundCorvids Sun 09-Feb-14 19:16:58

"I've put the marriage behind me" ??? What was wrong with Pat, that she didn't ask what we would all have asked?

Helen won't be happy, will she? She hasn't finished punishing her parents yet

HumphreyCobbler Sun 09-Feb-14 19:20:20

yes, pat and tony definitely joined in with helen in dropping hayley angry they were horrible

ZeroSomeGameThingy Sun 09-Feb-14 19:46:19

So exactly who is Rob planning to spend actual Valentine's night with? Poor Helen.


cheminotte Sun 09-Feb-14 19:51:06

OMG Zero - I hadn't even thought of that!

ComposHat Sun 09-Feb-14 20:19:56

'I will always be the lily of Layton Cross'

I wonder if the Midnight Walkers is a reference to the Patsy Cline song?

ErrolTheDragon Sun 09-Feb-14 20:25:14

Sounds like Jolene isn't ready to become a staid 'Mrs Archer' yet awhile, what with her singles night and talk of a comeback...

BTW, all that talk about Hayley - haven't heard from her or even of her for ages.

TemperamentalAroundCorvids Sun 09-Feb-14 20:27:52

And Jolene was remembering her hey day when reminiscing with Eddie last week...

Just caught up with tonight's episode.

Verrry suspicious that Rob has to be away 'on business' on 14 Feb hmm

ZeroSomeGameThingy Sun 09-Feb-14 20:30:33

......So - Midnight Walkers(?) at the Lower Loxley Music Festival?

ZeroSomeGameThingy Sun 09-Feb-14 20:38:25



Mumford etc. Jolene etc.

It's going to be a Folk /Country Festival.

This could finish me for good.

ExcuseTypos Sun 09-Feb-14 20:48:11

I agree Rhinestone. He was also held up, overnight, last week on a 'business trip' wasnt he?

I wonder who he is with?grin

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Sun 09-Feb-14 20:49:25

Fallon's band could feature too. Can't remember what that was called. I'd like to hear Fallon again. However, we mustn't be greedy. This is the best January we've had on TA since Ruairidh was a baby and the Aldridge marriage was hanging in the balance.

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Sun 09-Feb-14 20:50:08

My guess is that he's with the wife he's put behind him.

GypsyFloss Sun 09-Feb-14 20:52:33

I've only been away for 3 days and missed loads by all accounts!

Does this mean you are a local girl Olivia, if your babies were born in the sound of Harlow train station and travelodge ? grin

ZeroSomeGameThingy Sun 09-Feb-14 20:54:57

This has been puzzling me for weeks. If he and Jess are reconciled how has he been able to keep her away from Ambridge? On the other hand surely only a wife could take the coveted February 14th slot?

orangina Sun 09-Feb-14 20:58:48

Jess is definitely not yet finished with. I can't believe Rob would have woman no 3 on the go, so my money is on Jess getting the "business" visits..... and that Valentine's Day line was soooooooo transparent!

I can't decide who is being more annoying at the moment out of Rob, Hellin, Tony and Pat......


AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Sun 09-Feb-14 20:59:42

One possibility is that she accepted that they should make their home away from Ambridge and she is living in another rented house on the other side of Felpersham. Or maybe when they made up at Christmas after the big row at the end of the party, she told him she didn't want to move to Ambridge after all and she has stayed in Hampshire on the understanding that he will visit as often as he can.

Neither of these seem that plausible but it's such a huge loose end otherwise that I feel quite sure that he hasn't really ended things with Jess.

TallGiraffe Sun 09-Feb-14 21:01:59

He's totally off to see Someone else on the 14th, but usin work as a cover isn't going to work for long when your boss is related to your (insert appropriate relation for Helen here) is it?

orangina Sun 09-Feb-14 21:02:44

And Pat and Tony need to get Hellin back on side so that when Rob does the inevitable dirty on her, she doesn't feel totally humiliated and can admit that he was an arse without feeling too much like one herself.....

OddFodd Sun 09-Feb-14 21:29:11

Oh Hellin will put her own comfort over her humiliation and PatnTony will be happy to have her back.

There's no way a milkman needs to be away on business two Fridays on the trot. And Valentine's night? Do me a favour. Actually this is very clever of the SW because no one will say anything to Hellin because they know she'll think it's sour grapes. And then when it does all go tits up, it'll be their fault for not warning her. Genius!

Jolene is definitely going to make a tight frocked comeback at the Lower Loxley festival grin I am loving the competition between her and Kenton - it's a lovely counterpoint to HellinRob

"a milkman"????

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Sun 09-Feb-14 22:01:51

I reckon Rob and Jess are 'taking things slowly'

ComposHat Sun 09-Feb-14 22:19:07

Helen won't be happy, will she? She hasn't finished punishing her parents yet

Punishing them by not allowing them to do unpaid childcare at the drop of a hat. It is an indication of how fucked up the family dynamics that Helen can use that a weapon against her parents.

On a related note, how old do we think Rob is? I've guessed about 45 as his voice sounds middle aged, but then there was talk of children with Jess, so maybe a bit younger.

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Sun 09-Feb-14 22:33:32

Helen will be aaaalll alooooone on Valentine's day won't she. And she won't be able to force Kirsty to come round this time either like she did last week.

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Sun 09-Feb-14 22:35:13

Compos I assumed that sort of age too given his job level and history in Canada etc. but maybe he is late thirties...

ComposHat Sun 09-Feb-14 22:50:07

Okay that is good I'm not wildy off track with the image in my head.

Greg was a fair bit older than her too wasn't he? Because Helen went all huffy when his daughter Annette wouldn't provide an impromptu surrogacy service for her.

I wonder if when Kirsty said it hasn't always been easy dealing with the Archer tribe she was referring to Helen's neediness.

OddFodd Sun 09-Feb-14 22:58:39

That was meant everso slightly tongue in cheek TheOne grin

ThatYoghurtWontPotItself Mon 10-Feb-14 07:49:38

i guess jess could be a bit younger than rob, unless they have revealed at some point how they met and it was clear that they were of similar age e.g. at university?

PseudoBadger Mon 10-Feb-14 07:58:11

I got the impression that they were 'child' sweethearts?

ComposHat Mon 10-Feb-14 07:58:47

Yes he would seem the type who would go for a younger woman (as a matter of habit and an ego trip rather thsn meeting the love of your life who happens to be a decade younger). So that could be plausible.

the Week in Ambridge

Just found this on the Archers FB page (linked by its author) - I like it!

'Where have the other 135 sprung from? This massive, silent social network that they are part of are never mentioned or visited or speak. Are Tom and Kirsty imagining the whole thing? Can they get the weeding in before Tony tops himself?'

particularly (cruelly) amused by weeding as I've only just realised it's a typo for wedding grin

HumphreyCobbler Mon 10-Feb-14 11:38:20

that is hilarious

I was wondering who all these people were

ComposHat Mon 10-Feb-14 11:48:43

Pork suppliers and super market buyers, bet Tom sees it as a massive networking opportunity.

Poor Kirsty's only friend seems to be Patrick

ErrolTheDragon Mon 10-Feb-14 12:03:40

Maybe Kirsty has a massive family with dozens of cousins?

ComposHat Mon 10-Feb-14 12:20:57

I guess there is the Archer mafia plus partners that must eat into that numbers.

ExcuseTypos Mon 10-Feb-14 12:21:03

When Nigel fell off the roof, we knew someone was going to die but not who.
In that episode I remember thinking it was Tony who was going to top himself. He was very depressed but I can't remember why.
Does anyone remember?

ComposHat Mon 10-Feb-14 12:24:30

The whole Helen pregnancy thing I think.

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Mon 10-Feb-14 13:38:17

He's always feeling very depressed, and sadly for him he doesn't have a brain the size of a planet.

ComposHat Mon 10-Feb-14 14:42:34

But look at Tony's life

You are married to Pat
Your son is Tom
Your daughter is Helen
Your mother is Peggoi
Your brother in law is Brian.

How could you not end up depressed?

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Mon 10-Feb-14 14:44:16

... and your sisters are Jennifer and Lilian, your other brother-in-law is Matt Crawford and your nieces and nephews include Kate Madikane and James Bellamy. Yes, I see your point!

ComposHat Mon 10-Feb-14 14:48:37

It is difficult to find much sympathy fpr anyone at bridge farm, but I think I hate Tony the least for the reasons stated above.

BitOutOfPractice Mon 10-Feb-14 14:54:26

It's always so deathly QUIET there isn't it? Like a morgue! Don't they ever have the radio or music on there?

ComposHat Mon 10-Feb-14 15:18:46

Yes. I hadn't noticed that before but you are right. So deathly, deathly quiet. It must be like living in some challenging and bleak scandanvian drama.

BitOutOfPractice Mon 10-Feb-14 15:19:42

Nowhere else seems so morgue like - just Brookfield. You could cut the atmosphere with a knife

ComposHat Mon 10-Feb-14 15:26:13

I can't help but think that one day Tony wiill just snap after all the years of misery and repression and there will be a huge denouement.

A bit like Glenn at the end of ' the thick of it.'

ErrolTheDragon Mon 10-Feb-14 15:36:22

Oh, I dunno - when Tony was complaining about it being quiet I'm sure I heard birdsong.

Obviously he needs to get himself some cows (or at least bullocks) - having got rid of the herd and the Cow.

TemperamentalAroundCorvids Mon 10-Feb-14 15:41:59

bit I expect they do have the radio on - just not when we're eavesdropping wink

BitOutOfPractice Mon 10-Feb-14 15:48:45

Temperamental you might be right - because when we are listening the Archers is on isn't it? wink

RocknRollNerd Mon 10-Feb-14 15:51:03

Leaving aside the pigs what do they actually do at Bridge a Farm now, they have the veg, but that sounds like barely a few acres given they do veg boxes and harvest it themselves. Pat now buys in milk to make yogurts which safe seemingly only sold in the village shop and Ambridge Organics...I'm not surprised Tony is a bit bored to be honest.

What was with the massively clunky reference to Tom recording the opening ceremony on Friday? I really hate it when they drop in the 'topical' bits...they'd have been better off shoehorning in something about the floods surely?

I vividly remember hearing Hayley meeting the pigs for the first time, she was incredibly Brum and whingey about the muck and mud. I think it was when Lucy Davis played her?

ErrolTheDragon Mon 10-Feb-14 15:58:37

They supply Underwoods and other places with the yogurt and ice-cream. And don't forget the cheese!

curlew Mon 10-Feb-14 16:21:02

Referring back to Roy- don't forget that he was Ambridge's token racist at one stage. And Tom the token Eco warrior (ironic, that one now, isn't it?)

Pollycazalet Mon 10-Feb-14 18:11:54

Tony was depressed before as he was estranged from Helen during her pregnancy.

Is it just me or did R(kn)ob take quite a nasty tone with Pat when "asking" her to have Henry? He sounds vaguely menacing. Will be interesting to see how Helen deals with him going against her wishes to settle Henry in.

BitOutOfPractice Mon 10-Feb-14 18:18:14

and where on god's green earth is he going on business on a Friday night?!


BitOutOfPractice Mon 10-Feb-14 18:35:45

But surely Hellish won't believe for a moment that he has to go away on business overnight on a Friday? Surely not!!

ExcuseTypos Mon 10-Feb-14 18:40:59

I think Rob will tell Hellin that's he's off on Friday and immediately drop in the "but I'll take you out on Thursday for a special night (yuk) and your parents will look after Henry".
She'll then feel angry towards her parents because they're having H, rather than Rob.

Well something like that anyway!

if i go to conferences they are often at weekends, or cover friday night or sunday night into monday, so i don't find that too surprising. i would have thought most agricultural stuff would be at a different time of year though

Topical insert KLAXON

GypsyFloss Mon 10-Feb-14 19:09:21

Ruth proclaiming the topical insert. Deep joy.

GypsyFloss Mon 10-Feb-14 19:16:55

And clunky plot setting. Enter Jill bearing a casserole and suitcase stage left. Only for lambing of course...

ErrolTheDragon Mon 10-Feb-14 19:28:48

Ah yes - a true domestic goddess summoned by Ruth's burnt offerings.

Though it does occur that Ben is nearly 12, perhaps he could volunteer to mind the dinner while his parents are so busy.

curlew Mon 10-Feb-14 19:39:35

And why aren't Josh and Ben doing the cooking?

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Mon 10-Feb-14 19:54:40

Is Ruth going to do a Sam with the policeman? Can't see otherwise why he's been brought in. I love it when David and Ruth get tetchy with each other. God preserve us from the times when they get loveydovey.

OddFodd Mon 10-Feb-14 20:09:45

Oh yes, it's so much nicer than 'And if you'll excuse me, I'm going to snog my wife' in the 50th birthday speech (which I was so traumatised by, I can remember exactly where I was when he said it) grin

I also agree that Jill is being positioned stage left with a casserole and a suitcase. Will that conveniently leave Glebe Cottage for TomKirst or does it belong to Lizzie?

(also love your name Mimsy)

BasketzatDawn Mon 10-Feb-14 20:24:46

Glebe Cottage belongs to Jill/the Brookfield estate. It was bought before she and Phil retired from farming. I think, or was it in the family already?And there's Ben - conceived in a field and born beside the Aga - and he can't keep an eye on the dinner and he 'hates lambing'. winkI imagine he could become like Uncle Kenton and leave the family business. They can't all stay in farming.

Re-Bridge Farm and organic farming, I've always thought it was very hard physical labour for Tony. All the veg to harvest, and he seems to get little help from anyone else. They must have farm labourers but the beeb can't afford the 'voices', perhaps. In the dim and distant past there was 'help' living in a caravan on the farm. What age is tony if his children are in their 30s - ? in his 60s, he had a BIG birthday before the heart attack, didn't he? I feel sorry for Tony really. I don't have enough energy to hate ALL of them. grin

PseudoBadger Mon 10-Feb-14 20:28:14

Mimsy I thought that when she was on the phone to the policeman.... And then when she and David were squabbling....

I loved Helen and Kirsty and mortgage chat.
Kirsty: "Well we'll be working until we're 100, but that's just what you have to do to get your own place isn't it?"
Helen: <shifts uncomfortably and looks away>

Glebe Cottage belongs to Jill - she and Phil acquired in the great swap around (David and Ruth went to Brookfield, Shula to The Stables from Glebe Cottage).

Rob is definitely not going to a conference - I wonder where in Hampshire he is going as a lot of the county is flooded too !

BasketzatDawn Mon 10-Feb-14 20:36:38

Psychologically speaking, Tony is ripe for a big mental breakdown. He held it all together when John died, esp when Pat was so depressed. His surviving children create enormous stress for him. Tom's business ideas causing friction; Hell's behaviour generally. There's the inheritance stuff with Peggoi and the overbearing sisters who treat Tony very much like the daft wee brother. He has the back breaking physical toil, out in all weather - even his wife gets to skulk in a warm dairy - he's had a heart attack, quite a major one IIRC. He's never been in a position to talk to anyone about how John's death affected him, e.g. finding him, feeling bad about it being his Fergie wot dun the deading too. He sold it on later because he couldn't bear to own it any longer after John's accident. And like others have said, he's a bit Eyeore-ish already and broody.

BTW I can recall a conversation between Hayley and Pat after J died in which they were close - Hayley crying about how she did love John but was so hurt by his infidelity, and didn't want him to be dead; Pat making soothing murmurs. Not sure if it was before or after Helen told Hayley to bugger off.

BasketzatDawn Mon 10-Feb-14 20:40:18

Oh yes, Glebe belonged to Shula's grandparents, so there's previous in the family for one house to be given to one grandchild?? And the bungalow, don't forget the bungalow! home of that very happy but silent couple, Freda and Bert.

BasketzatDawn Mon 10-Feb-14 20:43:26

I presume, after Mark died, and she got granny's house, Shula must have been quite wealthy. Did she acquire the Stables when she married the vet? I suppose they couldn't have two businesses running from Glebe Cottage. Where would she house the horses after all?grin

ComposHat Mon 10-Feb-14 20:44:37

Tony is the one who seems to be suffering for Pat's organic principles.

BasketzatDawn Mon 10-Feb-14 20:48:24

Compos, maybe that's why peggoi dislikes Pat? She sees her son being worked into the ground, albeit naice organic ground.

woollyjo Mon 10-Feb-14 20:54:16

Shula bought the stables from Christine didn't she?

ComposHat Mon 10-Feb-14 20:54:50

I think there may be some truth in that.

As much as I don't like peggoi I can see why she's thinkthat

ZeroSomeGameThingy Mon 10-Feb-14 21:07:36

Basketz (bearing in mind that whatever I claim to "remember" will probably need correcting....) Shula acquired the Stables, as a going concern, when Christine decided to retire.

I do recall feeling astonished, (on reading the Chronology linked in the previous thread) at what a merry-go-round of inherited property Ambridge has been and continues to be.

Although Helen might well have been squirming tonight I was more concerned that she might take the opportunity of the bridal shop outing to try on and reserve her very own wedding dress......

RocknRollNerd Mon 10-Feb-14 21:39:55

To be fair though big farms tend to have a lot of property on them and it does get swapped around as siblings and generations come and go, the farming family we know has chopped and changed people around numerous times in the last 30 years.

There must be a reason for PC Plot Plod to still be hanging around, has anyone ever rung up the police repeatedly asking for updates after a burglary, particularly what sounded like a fairly run of the mill breaking and entering?

Glad they finally mentioned the floods though!

OddFodd Mon 10-Feb-14 21:47:43

I'd like to think there was a reason for PC Plod hanging around but TA has massive amounts of form for storylines drifting off into the ether

GypsyFloss Mon 10-Feb-14 21:58:45

grin at PC Plot, usefully signalling to all us thickies to look out for elderly relatives who may have had the trauma of a break-in, which was nicely juxtaposed with Ruth telling the littlest Archer that they didn't have time to pop in to see poor traumatised Jill. And adding to the who is going to have Granny to live with them arguments.

BasketzatDawn Mon 10-Feb-14 22:42:38

I'd forgotten Christine had run the stables. I do recall Shula buying the business now. No need for corrections then, Zero. grin

Am I just being a cynical listener from the northern provinces, in thinking the flooding only gets mention by a topical insert when it reaches Berkshire and other Home Counties? (and so closer to London and beeb HQ) The poor folk of Somerset, Dorset, Cornwall, and elsewhere have been flooded for weeks now.

mummytime Tue 11-Feb-14 03:43:59

There has been flooding on and off for weeks in the Home Counties (not as bad as Somerset of course). It's more the SW in London don't really realise until its on the news.

Eastpoint Tue 11-Feb-14 05:03:05

I think they put it in because the weather still hasn't changed, they must have edited something out to insert it. Normally it's all recorded 6 weeks in advance I think, it isn't supposed to be a running commentary on news stories.

Doesn't Helen have any sense? She is so self-absorbed, surely Jess couldn't have fitted all her lamps, favorite saucepans etc in the car in one load when she left before Christmas?

I guess they don't add that stuff in until they absolutely have to, and they've finally decided it's unavoidable.

Tbh living in the Home Counties can sometimes be worse in terms of London dominating the news, because you're so close that even the local news is basically London news iyswim.

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Tue 11-Feb-14 07:18:48

A pedant writes: the production is based in Brum and very few of the writers live in London. Interesting David mentioned Worcester as I've always assumed Felpersham bears a close resemblance to Worcester.

I doubt it's an awareness thing, it's more that you don't know how long something is going to go on until it does iyswim.

ErrolTheDragon Tue 11-Feb-14 08:15:10

>they must have edited something out to insert it.
I've always assumed that all episodes will have a little bit of ditchable conversation to allow for essential topical inserts.

cheminotte Tue 11-Feb-14 08:57:02

I was about to point put that Worcester isn't home counties by any definition I know. Iassumed Borceter is Worcester and Felpersham maybe Evesham. As Borceter must be the county town surely?

i didn't mean that it was in the home counties. i was responding to comments about only home counties / London news seeming to be relevant. i was trying to say that if you live close to london but not in it, like in the home counties, your news is still dominated by london stuff so that london-centricity can feel just as bad as or worse than if you are in, say, birmingham

i don't think borchester is supposed to be worcester at all - it's a fictional place in its own right squished in between real counties

Minimammoth Tue 11-Feb-14 09:18:12

I am with you Basketz on the Pat/Tony/Peggy issue, I think she does not like the way Pat has had her way re the farm, and by inference Tony is weak like his father, unlike the wonderful husband that Brian has been to Jenny, who chose the right one.
Unless they live in an alternate universe, this wet weather has to have a huge impact on their farming.

OddFodd Tue 11-Feb-14 09:24:01

I think Peggy thinks he's more than weak - telling Jill that she thinks Tony is like his alcoholic feckless waste of space dad is tantamount to saying that she has zero respect for him (or even much affection!)

Tony would be devastated if he heard that.

And yes, the weather would have affected them. Where I live has never featured on the news but most of the fields are under water

yy minimammoth - i listen to farming today most mornings and it's having a huge impact. this morning they were talking about farmers in other areas of the UK donating animal feed to farmers in somerset (which the farmers in other areas can ill afford but the need is greater in the west country), with haulage firms providing transport of the goods free of charge. it would be nice to have a bit about that - farmers rallying together etc

Pollycazalet Tue 11-Feb-14 09:54:09

Oddfod Tony did hear that - Peggy said to him 'you're so like your father' at FondantGate.

The Jess thing is annoying me now - surely when Hellin's and Kirsty had The Creepy Bed conversation something would have been mentioned about Jess's stuff and what's happening with the divorce?

Maybe Rob's business meeting is a convenient plot device to enable Jess to turn up with a helium heart balloon on valentines day?

BitOutOfPractice Tue 11-Feb-14 09:54:37

I know conferences often run at weekends, but it'snot a conference is it? It's a machinery demonstration - he said that to Pat and Tony. On a Friday night? Pah!

true - i couldn't remember whether he'd given details of his trip. i suppose it could be a wining and dining type corporate thing...

but we all know it isn't really wink, it's just incredible that no one else does!

mind you wouldn't brian know where he's off to? wouldn't he sign off rob's travel expenses or something?

no one is asking the important questions here! grin

BitOutOfPractice Tue 11-Feb-14 10:08:04

Maybe there's wining and dining involved in machinery demos. I don't mix in such exalted circles so I wouldn't know wink Surely Brian would know seems very fishy. I love fishy!

BitOutOfPractice Tue 11-Feb-14 10:08:47

x post Willie!

WE are asking the important questions!

I wonder if the SWs read this board?

Pollycazalet Tue 11-Feb-14 10:17:27

Brian would know. So I think it might be the return of Jess!

OddFodd Tue 11-Feb-14 10:19:11

Oh yes of course Polly! blush

OMG I would so love a cracking Jess/Hellin valentine's showdown

ErrolTheDragon Tue 11-Feb-14 10:22:23

Maybe Rob really is going to a trade show, but Jess will arrive champagne bottle in hand to try to stage a reconciliation.

Are any of you going out for Valentines, and if so have you ensured that the timing allows for listening to Friday's episode? grin

Saker Tue 11-Feb-14 10:23:01

Is Rob's cottage not rented furnished? That was puzzling me about the whole bed thing with Helen. (Plus I was amused that Kirsty's horror about the marital bed didn't extend to her sleeping in Tom's bed which was occupied not so long ago by someone else grin). And I assumed Jess hadn't brought a lot of stuff with her because it was more a sort of test the water visit. Did she actually move to Ambridge fully before Christmas?

Still I totally agree she wouldn't have just disappeared for good without so much as a murmur. Unless she realises she's well rid. Tbh I'm finding the Rob character thing a bit too much like the Paul and Lilian scenario - seems nice at first but turns out to be a scheming emotionally abusing control freak in the end.

Helen seemed quite happy about her parents minding Henry so all threats of lifelong estrangement seem to have gone out of the window.

BitOutOfPractice Tue 11-Feb-14 10:23:53

My BF is coming round but I have him well trained enough to know that he needs to STFU at 7:02

BitOutOfPractice Tue 11-Feb-14 10:25:03

I don'tthink they will have paid for bothered to bring Jess in and do the whole party stuff unless they were gong to bring her back

PseudoBadger Tue 11-Feb-14 10:25:52

Do you know what Saker that is a great point. If Rob is sleeping on the marital bed, what is Jess sleeping on in their house in Hampshire?

OldBeanbagz Tue 11-Feb-14 10:37:55

I though Jess was staying with her parents in Hampshire? Or did they just move back to be close to them?

Personally i'm surprised Rob's wanderings have started so soon after Helen moved in. What happened to the honeymoon period?

No plans here for Valentines Day so will be listening with interest. I so wanted it to be Jess at the door last week instead of Peggy so maybe this week my luck will be in?

TemperamentalAroundCorvids Tue 11-Feb-14 10:38:35

I knew something was puzzling me about the bed.

yes that vaguely crossed my mind saker, but as you say there are more questions to be asked there! i couldn't remember whether it had been let furnished or not - if it hadn't what did rob use before jess came, and if it had where is all the original stuff now if rob now has the "marital bed"?

dp is away on valentine's day on a work trip (!)

(he really is i promise grin - he's taking 80 13yos skiing)

so i will be snuggled up with knitting

BitOutOfPractice Tue 11-Feb-14 10:49:17

Yeah but Wilie I bet he mentioned that a bit sooner than this week didn't he?

And your DP seserves a medal!!

bigbadbarry Tue 11-Feb-14 11:02:21

Jess definitely didn't bring a big van-load of furniture with her. And I love the point about Kirsty being not at all squeamish about moving into Brenda's bed. Though I suppose Brenda moved into Kirsty's bed before that...
I haven't read the whole thread, but might Jess be under the patio?

OneEggIsAnOeff Tue 11-Feb-14 11:11:13

I'm sure Kirsty and Tom went shopping for a new bed when she moved in?

bigbadbarry Tue 11-Feb-14 11:16:15

Ohh you might be right. There was a big trip for bedding, certainly. And a lamp?

ha bitoutofpractice you are right - i think he told me this time last year after he went on the last ski trip

don't feel too sorry for him. he has morning and evening teacher teenagersitting duties but otherwise it's a free skiing holiday that he couldn't otherwise afford!

BitOutOfPractice Tue 11-Feb-14 12:19:36

Oh well in that case I'm having my medal back! smile

Minimammoth Tue 11-Feb-14 13:44:32

The patio concept is one we have pondered a while now. What are the odds?

Brian probably would know where Rob was supposed to be, but Helen's not likely to ask him at this stage - when the sun is still shining out of Rob's arse hmm grin

I do hope she finds out by accident though. Auntie Jennifer is pretty good at letting cats out of bags lately

BasketzatDawn Tue 11-Feb-14 14:00:54

I too am aware The Archers produced in Brum, though I have no clue where exactly the SWs are based. Maybe they all live in one big commune- type house. grin

Incidentally, you should try living in Scotland for London-centric news. It's one of my soap box subjects in fact, and some days I read an English paper and a Scottish paper, and listen to Radio Scotland and Radio England (most people know it as R4 but not in this housewink). And do a comparison of the news stories. Then I talk to anyone who will listen about my findings. And I am gradually converting MrBasketz (who began life in Middlesex) to my way of thinking. <evil cunning Scottish person> I wonder what Jazzer thinks about it all .....

Re-Friday, my plan is for MrBasketz and me to be in the same room at 19.02 with radio tuned to Radio England - ds2 will listen too; ds4 will have tape over his mouth (pls don't tell SS). Then we will discuss the story and probably have a good old bitch about the story lines and all the gaps in credibility. ds1 and 3 aren't here at mo. sad Only ds2 likes TA.

MrsCampbellBlack Tue 11-Feb-14 14:05:03

I just can't figure out the Jess storyline. Rob is definitely up to something but if Jess still thinks she's in a relationship with him, surely Rob would be worried that Jess would still be in contact with Jenny?

Pollycazalet Tue 11-Feb-14 14:07:32

Wasn't all their stuff in storage whilst they were in Canada? Seem to remember Rob trying to locate a tea pot when he first arrived. He and Jess were at her parents as am interim ore- ambridge.

LaundryFairy Tue 11-Feb-14 14:07:41

Theone oh, so that is where the sun has disappeared to...didn't realise is had relocated to Mr. Titchner's posterior! grin.

And I do hope that Hellin gets over her infatuation soon - couldn't believe her being all docile and following Rob to the Bull to watch the flipping rugby 'because that's what you do when you're in a relationship'. Er, no sweetie, you say 'you go ahead, I've got cheese to turn and a boy wonder to care for.'

OddFodd Tue 11-Feb-14 14:08:38

I can't believe Hellin is so thick as to think that P&T babysitting is evidence that they've accepted Rob. She really does rewrite facts to suit her own agenda

BasketzatDawn Tue 11-Feb-14 14:10:29

I've lost track of which house Rob is renting. Is it Usha's place that she had before she married the vic? I think it's furnished too.

I can't help feeling the story about Jess cannot be over. Surely, with all the much improved trends in story lines at present, the SWs must have a plan for Jess. Even if the Jess actor isn't available they could have her mentioned or a one-sided phone convo. I think Kirsty mentioning the house's prev woman got to Hellin a bit - she couldn't sleep that night and she did bring up the bed subject. Lots of interesting theories. I'm not sure what to think really. I don't want Jess (even if she had an irritating voice) to be under the patio, but maybe she is. We'll find out eventually but the SWs can't leave all this hanging in the air. I hope.

Pancakeflipper Tue 11-Feb-14 14:13:25

Rob is off to see Jess isn't he on Valentines Day. All this celebrate it a day early. Huh. All this the meeting ran late and he had to stay in a hotel/motel. Yeah....
Having your cake and eating it aren't you Rob eh?

<getting over involved>

haha laundryfairy - you're right about the 'because that's what you do when you're in a relationship' lecturing to kirsty. how would she bloody know? the only other relationship she's had is with moody greg, who i think was physically abusive too

(realise that sounds like i mean it's her fault - i don't - just that she hasn't had much experience of happy relationships)

LaundryFairy Tue 11-Feb-14 14:22:38

I agree Willie, she really is not the one to be dishing out advice, is she. And every time Kirsty talks about her and Tom's plans, Hellin says 'oh yes, isn't it wonderful when you are starting a life together' in a horrible, dreamy voice, implying that she and Rob are just such soul mates on their own beautiful journey [wretch].

Pancakeflipper Tue 11-Feb-14 14:24:16

Though Kirsty is annoying me too.
Redo the plans!
Create your own home. You moved into Brenda's old place quick enough and hopped into her bed. Surely a plot that you can design to please you is no issue?

HumphreyCobbler Tue 11-Feb-14 14:25:14

Call me ghoulish, but I would love for Jess to be under the patio. It would be seriously unlikely for the Archers though.

BitOutOfPractice Tue 11-Feb-14 14:35:39

"I've got cheese to turn and a boy wonder to care for.'" That made me snort grin

I don't want Jess under the patio as that would mean no showdown with Hellish

So, who looked after the boy wonder while the happy couple traispsed to the Bull to watch the rugby?

Pancakeflipper Tue 11-Feb-14 14:38:09

They took the boy with them as Rob told Kenton that the boy is going to be a rugby player. Hellin didn't overhear that but if she did it would have filled her heart with joy that Rob sees such a happy family future for them all.

ErrolTheDragon Tue 11-Feb-14 14:39:08

Yes ... if for no other reason than that in Ambridge, someone would have noticed if a tenant was re-landscaping the garden of a rented house, and Eddie would have popped by to offer a quote. grin

It's all about herself with Hellin - no, P&T being willing to have Henry is because they want to have Henry and thought they were going to be punished on that front for longer. And also they probably realise that if they'd said no then that really would have put up a wall...they really couldn't refuse.

bigbadbarry Tue 11-Feb-14 14:51:49

LOL @ landscaping.
It was all very bizarre though: either he was abusive and had been for some time, or he just turned nasty when he met Helen...either way she went suddenly and quietly. Shouldn't we have heard a bit more of a to-do? Or for her not to have come in the first place?

JessieMcJessie Tue 11-Feb-14 15:03:12

I think that the plot is supposed to be that Jess and Rob's furniture was shipped from Canada to Blossom Hill cottage (owned by Usha) as Rob was working in Canada when he hot the job, having been looking for a position in the UK when Jess'father became ill but not finding anywhere close to Hampshire, then Jess went straight to stay with her parents and Rob to start the new job, setting up the house in advance for when Jess was ready to join him. However it's a crap plot as I think that Blossom Hill was previously rented furnished (to silents) and it was only ever meant to be a stopgap so Rob and Jess would have put thir furniture in storage until they found a permanent place. And who would really bother shipping an old bed from Canada when new beds are hardly expensive? They'd just have shipped key stuff.

BitOutOfPractice Tue 11-Feb-14 15:05:23

Jessie have you shopped fr a new bed recently? Eye wateringly expensive!

Pancakeflipper Tue 11-Feb-14 16:21:41

Perhaps Jess is stuffed in the mattress?

If so who is he off to see on Valentine's Day? Perhaps there's another woman who sites on him in a cow eyed way?

LaundryFairy Tue 11-Feb-14 16:49:04

Love the thought of Jess stuffed in the mattress!!! grin. Can just picture it:

Henry:'mummy, why is there a finger poking out of your bed?'
Hellin: 'Now don't be silly darling Henry, there's no - holy crap what is that???!!!!

GypsyFloss Tue 11-Feb-14 18:12:42

A valentines night showdown would be superb. C'mon scripties, make it happen.

RocknRollNerd Tue 11-Feb-14 19:58:31

Classic Susan tonight:

'c'mon Clarrie, it's more than the house, is it the bracelet I brought you?'

...because clearly a sub-standard gift would trump any worries about being summarily evicted or facing a massive rent-hike from HazeltheSlitheen. grin

GypsyFloss Tue 11-Feb-14 20:34:31

New old Clarrie got on my tits tonight. That was definitely a filler episode.

WhatSheSaid Tue 11-Feb-14 20:38:10

Like the scripts at the mo though - Jazzer talking to Neil about Thailand - "As long as you can tell the sheep from the goats!" grin

There are a lot of (presumably) old ML posters on the archers FB page whingeing for England about how bad the scripts are now & how they're going to stop listening

I am one of the oldest ML posters, & the current scripts have reeled me back in, so IMO they can all get stuffed grin

Pancakeflipper Tue 11-Feb-14 21:22:13

I have to say I am also loving it at the moment. Downloading podcasts every day just to ensure I am not missing a thing.

And my neighbour who has been listening to it forever is ranting about Pat so it's reeled her in.

And totally off tangent - I think Amy is due to make an appearance again surely.

GypsyFloss Tue 11-Feb-14 22:07:10

The scripts are far and away better than the offerings we had under the previous boss .

BeaLola Wed 12-Feb-14 00:54:23

I think Jess will return pregnant with Robs child ...... He did dump Helen for Jess when her father died so perhaps they had make up sex ?

Anyhow much as I love to think of her under a patio didnt someone see her leave with her things ? She will return and Helen will slink off to Bridge Farm

ErrolTheDragon Wed 12-Feb-14 08:30:34

Bea - ooh yes that would be good!

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Wed 12-Feb-14 11:26:54

The One, I'm a vvvvv old ML poster too (first came across it in May 01, I think) and I think TA hasn't been as consistently good as this since the Brian/Siobhan affair! Never looked at the TA facebook page - is it open or do you have to be a member of Facebook/that particular group to see it?

Oh please let Jess be pregnant.... oh please....

ZeroSomeGameThingy Wed 12-Feb-14 11:33:53

Would certainly explain why she gets the top Valentine spot.

And it would very probably make Rob hate Henry. Without being able to say why. Imagine Helen's shock face....

ooooh, mimsy, you are very old too wink Brian/Siobhan & Kate/Roy/Hayley/Phoebe (early on) are my 2 best storylines

I think I found ML in late 2000 (via a little weekly culture-type supplement on the Guardian which had 3 website recommendations each week - I found MN that way too)

The FB page is an actual BBC one - you just have to like it

Songbird Wed 12-Feb-14 12:41:19

I'm another one hoping and praying that Jess is up le duff, as they say in Hampshire*.

Are we all reading too much into it? I do hope not. Does TA have form for rushing this sort of SL? Jess got out of Dodge so soon, Hellin moved in so soon, Henry has pissed MrLoverLover off so soon, and surely this is too soon for him to be doing the whole 'working away, staying over, being with another woman (even The Wife) for Valentines' thing?!

*They don't say that

ComposHat Wed 12-Feb-14 18:31:45

Perhaps the script writers are throwing us a red herring and he really is on business.

My money is still on him being an emotionally abusive cumsack.

GypsyFloss Wed 12-Feb-14 19:15:29

Jill's in...never to leave.

ErrolTheDragon Wed 12-Feb-14 19:17:16

Bets on Jill finding Pip's bed extremely comfortable?
Really though solves two problems at lambing time to have her there. The alternative would be for the odious gluttonous Ben to move into her cottage for a while.

puggle01 Wed 12-Feb-14 19:17:21

The amazing loveliness of Jill's shepherd's pie has been laid on a bit thick tonight. Hope Jill's cataract led her to mix up daffodil bulbs and onions or such like leading to a poisoning

A minor quibble though in the grand scheme. I'm loving Tom's "nothings too good for you Krusty" followed by....."how much?" tonight and am genuinely excited about Friblush.

As many have said - hope its months of slow burn not a fortnight's flash in the pan

ErrolTheDragon Wed 12-Feb-14 19:20:21

The lads are a bit out of touch with the price of frocks!

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Wed 12-Feb-14 19:44:19

Yes, I loved that we heard last week that Kirsty was thinking of settling for a cheaper dress at 2k+ and tonight Tom is bracing himself for a frock costing 1k!

TemperamentalAroundCorvids Wed 12-Feb-14 20:13:25

Haven't heard it all as took a phone call - but if you can't make chilli because you don't have kidney beans, then surely you make spag bol? But perhaps they were out of spag? OK then bol sauce and rice.

BitOutOfPractice Wed 12-Feb-14 20:19:42

puggle yes I agree. I hope Jill didn't put daffodill bulbs in the cottage pie.

Everyone would have to go to hsopital!!

They wouldn't be out till spring!


<gets coat. calls taxi>

BitOutOfPractice Wed 12-Feb-14 20:20:30

Temp you took at call during TA? Lightweight!

cheminotte Wed 12-Feb-14 20:31:36

How old us Ben? If he's early teens then tea at his grant then another tea an hour or so later sounds perfectly reasonable.

Martorana Wed 12-Feb-14 20:38:33

Ben's 12, I think. Why are all archers children repulsive?

BitOutOfPractice Wed 12-Feb-14 20:39:49

Not even a titter for my bulb joke. I'm wasted here! Wasted I tell ya!

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves Wed 12-Feb-14 20:44:53

I laughed, Bit! Mind you, in my family I am notorious for laughing at just about any joke. The jokes on Penguin wrappers have me in fits.

BitOutOfPractice Wed 12-Feb-14 20:46:50

I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not. But I'll take it!

Martorana Wed 12-Feb-14 20:48:23

I had to go and read it again-I didn't get it first time!blush

But I will use it..........

puggle01 Wed 12-Feb-14 20:58:42

I liked it!

Lomaamina Wed 12-Feb-14 21:04:00


And agreeing that was a tad too muuch enthusing about a cottage pie (thanks scriptwriters for the lesson on how they differ from shepherd's pies) hmm.

Although I do agree the new story lines are excellent. Can't wait for Jess and Rob denouement.

BitOutOfPractice Wed 12-Feb-14 21:23:37

I'm milking the applause like Kenton as the Lord of Misrule wink

Something will go wrong with the pre-Valentine's Day Valentine's Romantic Evening tomorrow night. I just know it

Bit, I only just read it but I'm sure my sniggering would have been satisfactory for you wink

Lacking kidney beans I would always make shep/cott pie over spag bol (mostly because I need spuds on a daily basis)

stilllearnin Wed 12-Feb-14 22:17:35

Please think of me tomorrow night! I have to be out and then have friends staying over for 2 whole nights who will laugh the socks off at the first few notes of the dum de dum de dum de dum...keep telling myself it's deferred gratification but really i'm all grrr!

Must be some decent kids in that village - poppy?

OddFodd Wed 12-Feb-14 22:25:34

DS has SN which means time is a terribly difficult concept to grasp. So the theme tune to TA is absolutely brilliant - the first time it's on, it means it's 1/2 hour until getting ready for bed, the 2nd means it's 15 mins. I'm training him like Pavlov's dog and it's a really good excuse for me to insist on having it on every evening grin

stilllearnin Wed 12-Feb-14 22:31:40

He will never forget that tune you know (in a good way) which makes me feel all nostalgic about my childhood!

I have found it is an excellent dirty job tune - talking scrubbing and not boudoir antics (can you imagine!). Also the perfect accompaniment to grating cheese - try it!

BeaLola Thu 13-Feb-14 01:03:41

I think whiney Helen will incur Robs wrath by moaning about the bed ..... The bed he shared with Jess .....

GypsyFloss Thu 13-Feb-14 19:07:33

Crikey, golden boy Tom. He's got her wrapped around his fat sausage fingers.

Shallishanti Thu 13-Feb-14 19:07:36

whaaat 17-18 thousand pounds????
what about- WAIT or, have a cheaper wedding

ZeroSomeGameThingy Thu 13-Feb-14 19:15:14

"Is that better now Rob?"


He's making her change her clothes now?

Shallishanti Thu 13-Feb-14 19:15:58

yes, that what I thought

ZeroSomeGameThingy Thu 13-Feb-14 19:16:56

They have been reading this thread.

ZeroSomeGameThingy Thu 13-Feb-14 19:20:34

God, I don't know which is worse:

Peggy's cruelty and disloyalty to her son / Tom's sense of entitlement.

Or Rob's cruelty and deception / Helen's stubborn stupidity.

OiVaVoi Thu 13-Feb-14 19:21:58

why are you so certain that Rob is dicking around? (having half listened to the Archers for years I am just getting into it so may have missed something...)

ErrolTheDragon Thu 13-Feb-14 19:27:46

I distrust Rob because of the way he treated Jess. And dumping Helen once already.

OiVaVoi Thu 13-Feb-14 19:30:53

but what makes Zero think he is being deceptive NOW? (oh god i'm getting sucked in)

ZeroSomeGameThingy Thu 13-Feb-14 19:37:50

Oi Leaving aside the marriage mess and the fact he's obviously going to be with someone else tomorrow night - he is now clearly deceiving Helen in a Relationships board sense. Michelin stars and expensive gifts, but she apologized for whatever it was that he didn't like about her outfit. (And if any man ever told me that I was expected to look "gorgeous".....angry

Earlier this week I learnt the word "dicknotized" on MN. Handy.

GypsyFloss Thu 13-Feb-14 19:41:43

What Zero said.

Shallishanti Thu 13-Feb-14 19:41:53

it was quite subtle though, wasn't it
(for someone that hasn't been on the relationships board)

TemperamentalAroundCorvids Thu 13-Feb-14 19:47:28

With both my DC when little I would sing the Archers theme while holding their hands and waving them about in time to the tune. They found it hilarious, and it also worked on friends' LOs even if the friends thought I was barking

ZeroSomeGameThingy Thu 13-Feb-14 19:58:52


Where's p....fruit?

Did I miss a name-change? So many of you have changed recently. (Don't say out loud if so.)

HumphreyCobbler Thu 13-Feb-14 20:15:07

DH sometimes used to put the Archers theme tune into the middle of a tune set. I don't think anyone ever noticed grin

I think that reason Helen's ok with P&T looking after Henry (after her door darkening threats) is because Rob suggested it. She's desperate for is approval (see also the 'is that better' and interrupted apology today)

HumphreyCobbler Thu 13-Feb-14 20:56:10

am frustrated due to tonight's episode not being up yet

Selks Thu 13-Feb-14 21:36:09

It's 9.30 and they still haven't put todays episode up on the website to listen to! How long does it normally take? hmm

JessieMcJessie Fri 14-Feb-14 00:48:52

Ooh yes, the little bit where she was clearly apologising for not having chosen clothes to his liking - that was CHILLING. So subtly done as well.

On Tom and Kirsty, normally I like Kirsty but I am not happy about her refusing to build on the farm. Yes, it was a plan he had with Brenda but they can configure the house exactly as they want it and if I understand correctly the plot is not exactly in the yard next door to P&T's gaff. It's not like Tom wanted them to buy an open market house that he and Brenda had picked - it's not at all unreasonable for Tom as the heir to the farm to be planning to live there and Kirsty should know that.

Kirsty is usually sensible and it's out of character for her too insist on them incurring a whole load of extra costs just for emotional reasons. I also don"t believe that eco warrior Kirsty would be at all excited by the idea of marble-lined Catheridge hall and princess wedding dresses. I think she'd find them all naff. And she gets on WELL with Pat and Tony and Helen is her best mate - surely part of the attraction is to be marrying into a farming family. They have only done this to set up the scenario where Tom goes to Peggy, thus causing Tony more upset.

BitOutOfPractice Fri 14-Feb-14 01:23:25

Selks I'm sorry to say but I don't think they put the podcast up till after the repeat at 2pm tomorrow!

JessieMcJessie Fri 14-Feb-14 05:41:55

Nope, podcast goes up after the 7pm transmission. I listen to it every morning in Hong Kong on the way to work-that's about midnight UK time.

It's clear now why the Helen/Rob thing has been rushed along since Christmas - they had to squeeze everything in for a valentine's day denouement. I do hope it's good tonight - they've been building it up enough

ComposHat Fri 14-Feb-14 06:56:45

still yes the archers theme tune is linked to my childhood. I used to dance round the kitchen to it (along with sport on four & breakaway themes)

How old were people wgen they started listening to the Archers (independently? ) I was 19 and it marked me out as a bit of a weirdo at university. It was well known that I wouldn't welcome visitors between 7 & 7:15.

Martorana Fri 14-Feb-14 07:25:26

That was a chilling moment- I thought I had misheard at first.....very subtle indeed, especially for he normally clunking Archers!

Just have yo gate crash this thread to ask - was that watch one that belonged to Jess??

ExcuseTypos Fri 14-Feb-14 07:42:21

My DDs says her first memory is sitting on her Grandpa's knee, waving her arms about to TAs theme tune. My PIL used to look after her, whilst I worked and listened to it every lunch time.

She's 23 now and still loves the tune, she doesn't listen to it apart from when she's back home. When Tom comes on she says "Is he still wittering on about sausages?"

ErrolTheDragon Fri 14-Feb-14 07:43:25

I think I started listening when I was a postgrad - certainly when I started my first job I'd listen to the omnibus in bed on a sunday morning.

WhatSheSaid Fri 14-Feb-14 07:54:35

The first storyline I remember was Elizabeth being abandoned at the service station by the bloke who had got her up the duff. She went on to have a termination and Shula got v upset as she offered to bring the baby up as she and Mark were having major issues conceiving.

That must have been early 90s. Quite controversial to have a termination storyline on TA back then.

TallGiraffe Fri 14-Feb-14 07:56:11

18, when I was living abroad and Radio 4 LW was te only English language radio station I could get!

I now have a fuzzy feeling for cricket commentary too blush

PseudoBadger Fri 14-Feb-14 07:56:53

It's been there all my life, my parents listen and i considered it to be the epitome of BORE.
Mid 20s I caught a Brian/Siobhan episode and was hooked! I now listen more than my parents!

ComposHat Fri 14-Feb-14 08:01:34