They're not plucky Tuckers, they're turkey pluckers' sons - Archers festive chat

(979 Posts)
PseudoBadger Fri 06-Dec-13 10:06:25


BitOutOfPractice Fri 06-Dec-13 10:08:31

Ah! My festive home :D

OddFodd Fri 06-Dec-13 10:13:47

Fabulous title R4. You are going to come over here aren't you? fwink

TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 06-Dec-13 10:15:28


ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Fri 06-Dec-13 10:22:29


But why no festive wine?

Gigondas Fri 06-Dec-13 10:30:12

Shiny new thread grin

BitOutOfPractice Fri 06-Dec-13 10:37:24

I have a question.

Could someone remind me, how on god's green earth Caroline came to be Will's godmother?! I just can't remember!

LondonMother Fri 06-Dec-13 10:52:56

Grundy optimism, I think. They hoped that she would leave him all her money, I suppose. She did provide him with a bedsit in the Dower House after the eviction.

ppeatfruit Fri 06-Dec-13 11:01:53

Thanks for the idea R4 and to Psuedo for the reality of the new festive thread cheers wine everyone!! fgrin I'm going to be away from a working computer for a week or so save me a place fgrin

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Fri 06-Dec-13 11:06:20

Ah... I'm sure I remember Clarrie suggesting it to Eddie - but absolutely don't remember why...

I asked Google "Why is Caroline Bone Will Grundy's godmother?" and the first thing that came up was the Mumsnet thread. "Who the hell are Caroline and Oliver?"

The second was THIS I am so grateful....

Gigondas Fri 06-Dec-13 11:14:31

While we are on the grundys, can someone recap what happened when with will , ed and emmur ?

Did ed and emmur start at hen night? She carried on post wedding then found out pregnant. Did she dump will then and go back when found baby was his?

BitOutOfPractice Fri 06-Dec-13 11:15:23

Gosh! That's all I have to say!

It just seems so...random doesn't it?

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Fri 06-Dec-13 11:22:00

Random but heaven sent!fgrin

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Fri 06-Dec-13 11:31:34

G "It's complicated....."

And I was out of the country sometimes pre-internet so missed the very beginning of the saga. But it had lots of best bits - in particular: Will and Emma giving dinner to Ed and his new cool American GF - stupendous; and Ed and Emma negotiating, pleading and crying their way to a reconciliation - brilliant acting from both (not being mean but was the previous Emma actress - who really made her irressistibility believable....)

HumphreyCobbler Fri 06-Dec-13 11:55:00

great title grin

LondonMother Fri 06-Dec-13 11:55:05

As far as I can recall, it went like this:

Emma knew Will and Ed all her life and in her mid-teens hung out with both of them. Eventually she started going out with Will, but I think there had been some boy and girl stuff with Ed before. There was an incident I only vaguely recall when Ed took a car (Will's car?) without permission and crashed it. Emma was a passenger and had a bad leg injury. The Carters were furious and so was Will. Emma made a full recovery although she may have been left with some scars, can't remember. Anyway, she got some compensation money and decided to blow it on a very expensive wedding.

After her hen night when she was very drunk she sought Ed out and they slept together. I'm pretty certain that was the first time. Ed had been in love with her for a long time but she had chosen Will. Then in the morning she thought better of it all and told Ed it had all been a big mistake. He was absolutely broken up about it. I think he confided in Oliver who advised him to leave the country immediately (wonderful throwback to the old colonial days when the black sheep of the family could be bundled off to the other side of the world). Ed went to Hungary to work for a bit.

While he was gone, Emma and Will got married. She knew some time before the wedding that she was pregnant but he didn't. She also knew that the father could be either Will or Ed, and so did we, of course. There was a cliffhanger scene during the wedding when she went out into the churchyard to decide if she was sure she wanted to go ahead and Will joined her there. She told him she was pregnant but not about Ed. He was ecstatic and they went back into the church and got married. I think that's hard to forgive Emma for.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Fri 06-Dec-13 12:20:04

Excellent LM But I defy you to render the succeeding events in exact chronological order. Every time I try (caravan, DNA, American, Casa Verde (?) etc) my head starts to hurt....

LondonMother Fri 06-Dec-13 13:02:26

This will help a bit. There's a link at the foot of it to the photo-story the BBC did at the time, but it doesn't work, sadly.

TallGiraffe Fri 06-Dec-13 13:37:18

Love the title fgrin

Panzee Fri 06-Dec-13 13:49:56

Wonderful title!

ppeatfruit Fri 06-Dec-13 14:13:38

I do remember that Ed saved Emm's life at the time of the accident and it wasn't made a lot of apart of by Emm of course because he was in so much trouble.

BitOutOfPractice Fri 06-Dec-13 14:22:52

Could I make a tiny request. If youpost a link with a icture of the actor on, can you warn please? I hate seeing the pictures. I know I'm a saddo

I hope you don't mind such a request from a newbie!

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Fri 06-Dec-13 14:23:11

LM Thank you so much for the Ed Grundy link! Fills in so many "wasn't there" gaps in my knowledge!

Archers Archivist on Feedback later....

choccyp1g Fri 06-Dec-13 14:45:55

Clever how they got Oliver to mention the god-mother thing, which was because Clarry and Caroline worked together in the Bull when they were both young and single.

As for Kathy getting the job, well we worked it out about 6 months ago. Do you think the SWs get all their ideas off here?

Panzee Fri 06-Dec-13 14:49:06

Did she get the job? I'm really far behind. Such a palaver for no reason!

Gigondas Fri 06-Dec-13 14:56:25

Thanks Londonmother-that really helped.

Yes the Kathy thing was as obvious as can be. Let's hope the dire predictions for Darrell come true.

ppeatfruit Fri 06-Dec-13 15:24:42

I liked the way poor sweet Caroline tried to mend the shot dog thing between the 2 stupid brothers. Just to make it worse fgrin

ppeatfruit Fri 06-Dec-13 15:27:02

I forecast a few flying feathers in the turkey shed fgrin

The photo story was terribly unconvincing because that Emma is blindingly gorgeous & Will...isn't!

ppeatfruit Fri 06-Dec-13 15:29:10

Aah but he's solid with a house and prospects etc.

LondonMother Fri 06-Dec-13 15:54:06

Sorry, Bitoutofpractice, I'm so hardened to the weird, not at all like the pictures in my head actor photos it didn't even register. Will try to remember that in future.

BitOutOfPractice Fri 06-Dec-13 16:08:38

Thank you London

I know I'm a bit loopy but I have pictures in my head too.

New BF suggested a tour of the studios as a Christmas present for me. I wasn't sure if to dump him or kill him!

ppeatfruit Fri 06-Dec-13 17:55:18

Aaah he was being kind BitOutOf poor bloke fsad!!!

BitOutOfPractice Fri 06-Dec-13 18:05:46

To be fair, he's never listened but I'm starting to train him. When he came round in the week he asked if any dogs had been shot yet!

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Fri 06-Dec-13 18:38:33

It does take a long time to train up a sceptical new listener. I suspect no-one ever really gets it if they haven't listened from childhood....

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Fri 06-Dec-13 19:15:17


Panzee Fri 06-Dec-13 19:31:44

Don't like The Archers on Facebook if you're a podcast listener. Spoilers! sad

Eastpoint Fri 06-Dec-13 19:57:46

The whole Will, Ed, Emma & George thing is just so awful, it will never end (marking place so I can click on 'threads I'm on').

Bluestocking Fri 06-Dec-13 21:53:50

I am having a senior moment. Do we actually know whose son George is? Or is that whole can of worms out there for us to enjoy in years to come?

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Fri 06-Dec-13 21:56:42

He's Will's son.

(Have a look at LM's link above for a reminder of the whole saga.)

JollyGolightly Fri 06-Dec-13 21:58:25

So happy to find this new thread, a welcome distraction from the dubious delights of the season, and an excellent title too.

I've come back round a bit recently, have to admit to being gripped by the Hell'n Rob storyline, and really enjoyed the archivist being interviewed on Feedback toady. I loved the concept of her having to keep an eye on a huge, bescribbled Farmers' Year wallchart to make sure that the script doesn't have someone draining the well when all regular listeners will know full well it's the time of year for scranletting down at ticklepenny corner.

HumphreyCobbler Fri 06-Dec-13 21:59:45

There is hope for those who didn't listen from childhood - I get it and I did not know radio 4 existed until I went to university and found it by accident. blush I listened to The Archers from my late twenties, with the Brian, Siobhan and Jenny love triangle getting me really hooked. That was a great storyline <wistful>

I needed the Archers Family Tree to fill in the background, that was a great present from my DH.

Bluestocking Fri 06-Dec-13 22:00:35

Thanks! I remember now, I was crushed - he should have been Ed's.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Fri 06-Dec-13 22:14:57

I enjoyed hearing the archivist too. She seemed to know what she was doing. But I have very little faith that the SWs are paying equal attention to the characters involved - there's just too much that is implausible.

I'm was surprised at tonight's events. (Won't spoil for later listeners...) Not sure if they plan to turn things round for "happy ever after" by Christmas - or the opposite.

Humphrey You and I must be the only people in history who spent their university evenings with the radio when all around were...doing whatever other students did. (I have no idea what that might have been....)

LondonMother Fri 06-Dec-13 22:15:16

I haven't seen any spoilers so have no idea what is going to happen to Darrell. Fingers crossed. No one who has read my monomania ravings on the subject of Darrell will be in any doubt what I am hoping will the outcome.

HumphreyCobbler Fri 06-Dec-13 22:22:12

grin Zero, I still remember the moment I first heard Glennis Kinnock talking about why political correctness was a good thing. I was hooked from that moment. I still think Radio 4 is worth my entire license fee.

miggy Fri 06-Dec-13 22:24:03

Have missed a chunck, last listen joe had fallen down, broken bits of himself and the grundys were sueing Greygables, this week Oliver was having a ride in Joe's Cart, how did that come about?

Minimammoth Fri 06-Dec-13 22:45:32

I am grateful for the Darrel background. Don't remember him being one for the drink that much. Is that the personality transplant you were all on about. How has he manifested a couple of adultish children? They seem to have sprung from nowhere, or am I not paying attention.

LondonMother Fri 06-Dec-13 22:57:31

Miggy, they bonded over sloe gin.

Minimammoth, do you remember Elona, Darrell's wife? Aka Elona The Beautiful Albanian Spy. She used to clean for Pekky, sorry, Peggy, in the gaps between shifts at The Laurels. She chucked Darrell out, left Ambridge and took the girls with her - Rosa and Anna, I think. None of them have any time for Darrell now. Rosa works for Mike in some capacity and has a scooter. Anna is a Silent Character which is odd as she is also musical.

MarianForrester Fri 06-Dec-13 23:03:43

Is Kirsty going to get together with Rob...? Doomed love, upset Hellin, and Tom, disastrous and soapy Christmas?

Panzee Fri 06-Dec-13 23:10:08

How is Peggy managing now Elona has gone? I remember comments about how untidy the house was. shock

Minimammoth Fri 06-Dec-13 23:10:43

I thought the girls were babies, that Elona was a second marriage and not a v. Long one. I must listen more attentively.
Nah, Kirsty is doomed to become the sausage queen, she will inherit the business when Tom has a nasty accident in the sausage department and is rendered sterile/ a limp shadow of his former self.

MarianForrester Fri 06-Dec-13 23:14:55

Like the sausage queen! And limp Tom...

Was just cos of the ott soap bickering and the roles in Robin Hood, art mimicking life mimicking art.

MrsCampbellBlack Sat 07-Dec-13 06:47:16

Emmur was convinced George was Ed's and made Ed believe it. I remember Clarrie basically telling Will that was how it was and he just had to leave the happy family to it. How Will has every remained close to his mother is beyond me.

For me, it was when Emmur and Ed were plotting to run away with George that was them at their most horrid.

MrsCampbellBlack Sat 07-Dec-13 06:56:26

Was anyone listening back when Mike shot Caroline's dog as just read this summary on the bbc and it doesn't quite tally with the version she told Will.

Because in her version she never blamed Mike and was oh so gracious.

Gigondas Sat 07-Dec-13 17:27:52

Mrs cb that is somewhat different to Caroline's tale in the week.

Did anyone else just think get off the flipping cross Shula last night??

PseudoBadger Sat 07-Dec-13 20:52:46

I just know that Darrell is going to be fine. If he meant it he'd have stolen insulin from Al's vet bag.

CuttedUpPear Sun 08-Dec-13 01:43:11

Checking in

GypsyFloss Sun 08-Dec-13 11:15:46

Just listening to the omnibus ...what's the betting that Tom proposes to Kirsty whilst dressed as Robin Hood?

OddFodd Sun 08-Dec-13 11:26:44

Caroline put quite a different spin on that didn't she?

Shula has zero understanding of mental illness does she? Silly woman. I hope Darryl is sectioned and then we can move back onto the much more juicy love triangle.

The actress who plays Jess is awful

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Sun 08-Dec-13 11:43:52

Top thread title! fsmile

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Sun 08-Dec-13 12:41:33

Why is the onus on Will to sort things out??? If one of my sisters shot my dog, even by accident, I'd be pretty upset for quite a while - and we get on well usually! And Nic isn't 'taking sides' - she's sticking up for her DH FFS!!! Maybe I haven't been listening for long enough (Ruth's affair was the first big storyline I listened to properly, though my mum has always had the Archers on in the background throughout my childhood). Why does the whole Grundy family automatically blame Will for everything ?!

Bluestocking Sun 08-Dec-13 12:49:29

The actress who plays Jess? Don't get me started! She's just reading the LINES! With very odd EMPHASES in all sorts of random places!
I am pining for the fantastic Grundy Werrld of Chrizmerrz storylines from a few years ago. Warring brothers in the turkey plucking shed just isn't really warming my cockles. I do like the new Clarrie though - her poor crackly voice really gives the impression of a woman who is emotionally exhausted by her ghastly menfolk and their total inability to consider anyone's needs except their own.

OddFodd Sun 08-Dec-13 13:31:22

Yes, yes - those odd emphases are really, really irritating grin

Surely she's going to disappear off again so that HellnRob can get back together? Although perhaps PatnTony have had quite enough to deal with for one year.

I don't think the Grundys blame Will for everything at all - Ed has behaved quite badly but Will is a sanctimonious shit who has dangled his good fortune over Ed his whole life.

OMG - I just googled Will Grundy inheritance because I couldn't remember who'd left him the money and saw that Norman Painting (who played Phil) left the actor who plays Eddie £16k in his will!

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Sun 08-Dec-13 13:39:10

I haven't heard Will being sanctimonious confused - what's the backstory to that, what's the inheritance storyline?

R4 Sun 08-Dec-13 13:49:59

I do like the new Clarrie though

You are kidding, aren't you?shock
Her god-awful Pam Ayres-on-acid screeching last Sunday was the nail in the coffin for me. I haven't listened since then.
I've gone cold turkey. <ba-boom-tish>

GypsyFloss Sun 08-Dec-13 14:20:23

I'm with you on the new Clarrie. Her voice makes me switch off.

OddFodd Sun 08-Dec-13 14:25:11

He inherited some money somehow - pure good fortune and Ed didn't. He gets a tied cottage with his job and used the money to become a BTL landlord so basically he is doing very well for himself financially.

He used to constantly rub Ed's nose in the fact that he had no money, that he was providing properly for his wife and that Ed couldn't look after George properly (EdnEmma have always had money problems and lived in a caravan for a bit). He's a really nasty piece of work.

puggle01 Sun 08-Dec-13 14:36:34

I can't believe Shula has enough paracetamol in her medicine cabinet to make any sort of serious suicide attempt. I agree with pseudo it seems like a half-assed job when the surgery will be full of insulin, shotguns and the stuff to put ill furries down with.
As far as the announcement at the end: "if you've been affected by the storyline phone..." I was tempted to phone to say "Yes, my enjoyment of the Archers has been seriously reduced during this nonsense please make it stop"

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Sun 08-Dec-13 14:49:24

Thanks OddFodd, that sheds new light - had completely passed me by!

OddFodd Sun 08-Dec-13 14:58:09

I am a fully paid up member of Team Ed, as you can probably tell blush grin

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 08-Dec-13 14:59:24

Fascinating to hear the RL Phil/Eddie inheritance story...

Somewhere I think it was an Aunt or Great-Aunt of either Clarrie or Eddie who left Will £200,000 -

(OMG There's a RL Tom and Kirstie on the radio right now!)

- sorry, yes, she had only ever met Will when he was small and never got round to changing her will. Eddie and Clarrie could not persuade Will to share the money with his brother. It really was very unfair.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 08-Dec-13 15:06:44

Oh - and Will's buy to let is the house that Tom and (latterly Brenda) Kirstie rent. Sad to say it was a house that Roy and Hayley had got very excited about when they wanted to buy - but of course Will had more ready cash.

MiracleOntheM4 Sun 08-Dec-13 15:07:53

I had the same thought Gypsy. The happy news juxtaposed against Joe's final demise?

Syllabubble Sun 08-Dec-13 15:19:47

Gypsy, my plot ideas for the next month are Tom proposing to Kirsty on last night of the panto, whipping ring out of his tights, and Jack dying on NY day, which is his and Piggoi's wedding anniversary........

GypsyFloss Sun 08-Dec-13 16:28:21

Are you pleased to see me or is that a sausage solitaire in your tights?

Syllabubble I think your plot plan is very sound and the following year Tom n Kirsty can get married on NY day to keep Peggy sweet and splashing her cash.

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 08-Dec-13 16:31:47

But come on, the will/inheritance stuff was very shortly after the whole ed e emmur affair - not sure I'd have felt like giving him either.

And Ed was also pretty rotten to Will about being a gamekeeper rather than the traditional grundy poacher.

Both of them annoy me but Clarrie's favouritism is I reckon half the problem with their sibling rivalry.

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 08-Dec-13 16:32:13

Giving him any money that is.

Selks Sun 08-Dec-13 16:35:33

Poor Lynda...."Nooo Rob just let me hone you! Let me hone you!"

Heh heh.

BitOutOfPractice Sun 08-Dec-13 16:39:13

I'm no fan of either Grundy "boy" but I think a lot of people woudl have a problem forgiving someone who fucked your wife. And then shot your dog. Surely!

OddFodd Sun 08-Dec-13 16:42:02
Bluestocking Sun 08-Dec-13 16:54:49

Yes, Selks, I loved Lynda begging Rob to let her hone his talent too. Fnarr fnarr.
Re the new Clarrie, I initially found her really irritating and Pam Ayres-y, but on hearing more of her I think she's doing a good job of allowing the desperation to come out in her voice.
I did enjoy hearing Jill giggling girlishly at Jim, and Jim gallantly offering to be her chauffeur!

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 08-Dec-13 17:16:59

I totally agree Bitoutofpractice - siblings have not spoken to each other for years for far less.

But I wish they'd stop with giving them new reasons to loathe each other.

I wish Brian would have another affair or something wink

longtallsally2 Sun 08-Dec-13 17:21:49

Puggle - 8 paracetamol, mixed with the half(?) bottle of brandy he drank is enough for a suicide bid : (

GypsyFloss Sun 08-Dec-13 19:08:08

Oh God I can't bear this. Saint Shula and whiny Rosa .

R4 Sun 08-Dec-13 19:13:03

Come and join me in my boycott. It's lovely and peaceful: no whining, no screaching, no unlikely character changes.

Tis a bit quiet though.sad

GypsyFloss Sun 08-Dec-13 19:22:07

I might just do that. I am an intermittent listener since they killed poor Nigel and unless Helen is pregnant and goes postal I can't imagine I will miss anything worthwhile.

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 08-Dec-13 19:23:54

I know Shula is annoying but she seems apart from Neil and Alan to be the only person with a bit of empathy. I loved how Neil put Jamie in his place.

And selfish/spoilt Daniel - well I just want to slap him.

Hopefully, now Darryl has been hospitalised the mental health team will be involved and they'll look after him [wishful thinking]

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 08-Dec-13 19:49:49

Rosa again.

I tell you - she'll be an Archer one day.....

GypsyFloss Sun 08-Dec-13 19:50:50

I agree about Neil. It sounded very father in like in its tone and delivery. Did make me smile.

GypsyFloss Sun 08-Dec-13 19:54:46

I hope the Kirsty and Tom panto proposal scene doesn't turn into her drippily waiting for him to really propose and him oblivious to her desire for marriage.

I want him just to produce a fab ring with a flourish on the closing night and tell the whole world how much she means to him.

Bluestocking Sun 08-Dec-13 20:12:29

I agree, Zero, the only possible rationale for the dreary Darrell story is so Rosa can be the Archer bride with the dodgy pedigree and a whole closet full of rattling, whinging Brummie skeletons.
Also agree that I would love Tom to straighten up, fly right and propose to Kirsty properly in his green tights! There's no way he'll do any better.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 08-Dec-13 21:08:22

Except..... I'm inclined to think it's Rosa's lack of "family" that will make the future head of the Archers clan want to rescue and protect her.

All this "Jamie said Rosa blah blah" from Dan is really setting up expectations - I pray that just for once the SWs won't disappont.

GypsyFloss Sun 08-Dec-13 22:48:13

But Daniel isn't an Archer is he? Is he not a Hebden -Lloyd?

Gigondas Sun 08-Dec-13 22:53:19

Alistair does have a point -Shula did leave alistair to it (not without reason ) so I think Dan and his objections all too plausible. As is rosas behaviour .

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 08-Dec-13 22:55:45

Oooh, nice point! Do you think he will be denied his place in the hierarchy?

I have the impression that Archer-dom can / will pass through the female line...

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Sun 08-Dec-13 22:57:46

Who's the lead male actual-named-Archer in the younger generation?

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 08-Dec-13 23:01:30

Male shock

Josh I suppose.

And I'm guessing he is older than the lately rediscoverd Meriel...

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 08-Dec-13 23:06:18

"Head of the clan" would be in unspoken name only as the Brookfield offspring will have to divvy up the farm anyway. Can't remember what fractions Phil left to his non-farming children.

Unless you meant the Tony - Tom - Henry line of inheritance?

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 08-Dec-13 23:08:32

The real nastiness will be over at Home Farm.....

CuttedUpPear Mon 09-Dec-13 05:40:00

What exactly is Rosa's problem? Was it some kind of dramatic device to have her come all the way to the hospital and then not actually want to see Darryl?

<blood boiling>

cheminotte Mon 09-Dec-13 08:19:20

Blimely only just found new thread and 100 posts already! Agree a pantomime proposal would be lovely.

PseudoBadger Mon 09-Dec-13 08:20:36

Oh no it wouldn't.


ReallyOverThis Mon 09-Dec-13 08:36:27

OK I'll bite! Oh yes it would!
I doubt very much that Tom is oblivious to the idea of marriage - it was him who was so desperate to settle down with Brenda so am pretty sure he'll snap Kirsty up and they'll live happily ever after.

chocoluvva Mon 09-Dec-13 13:13:31

Sorry to be making such a poor little uninteresting comment, but


Fab thread.

(MUST get out more).

ErrolTheDragon Mon 09-Dec-13 13:49:51

There was one of those Listening Project segments t'other day - featuring Tom the pig farmer and his wife Kirsty discussing how/whether to introduce their small DS to the realities of meat-eating ... couldn't help wondering if they called their DS Leon deliberately grin

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Mon 09-Dec-13 14:01:31

Cutted Re narrative devices - I guess they would like us to infer that Rosa is not quite the cold hearted something or other that she has so far appeared to be.

And Shula called her "darling". And Dan got to mention her again...

MrsCB Which brother do you think Clarrie is favouring? I think she tries to be fair but it's complicated by her separate, evolving relationships with the partners and children.

Choc Don't go out. All those twinkly lights will just hypnotise you into buying stuff that will be half price in two weeks. Stay in and help to share out the Ambridge fortunes for the next generation.

Pseudo Careful not to dis Tom - "HE'S BEHIND YOU!"

BitOutOfPractice Mon 09-Dec-13 14:14:21

Oh I think you're right about the proposal <squeals with excitement>

GypsyFloss Mon 09-Dec-13 15:02:05

One of things that galls me about Rosa is she is so rude and dismissive of her father but has no qualms about tripping around the countryside on the scooter she demanded he buy her. That and her nails on a blackboard voice.

Minimammoth Mon 09-Dec-13 15:33:12

We want a proposal, we want a proposal. On one knee with the ring and everything, in the tights. The future is sausage shaped. Ooo err.

GypsyFloss Mon 09-Dec-13 15:58:30

When is it panto time?

guineapiglet Mon 09-Dec-13 19:52:15

Getting very bored now with the WIll and Ed thing, has been going on for too long and very predictable, we need some new storylines urgently. Does George really hate Ed....... yawn...... why doesn't someone just buy him a new puppy and then he will slowly forget about Baz....

Where are Ilona and Anna, surely they would have visited Daryl by now, is there really no-one else to help him? All those jolly big houses in Ambridge, surely someone could make way? Jim? Christine? ePeggy etc etc - this story line is also getting a bit daft.

Like everyone else, TA has become part of my routine ( I have been a listener since 1990), but slowly trying to wean myself away. We need Kate back causing trouble, and arealy super villain, I really can't be arsed with Rob and Jess, they are too boring, and that whole revelation thing is now getting very predictable.

Need to find something else!!!!!!
< , looks through TV guide, Radio guide in hope!>

guineapiglet Mon 09-Dec-13 19:55:07

really - sorry for typos, too bored to write properly!

Panzee Mon 09-Dec-13 20:59:58

I miss Brian and Matt and their Machivellian ways. Kathy's job saga and a whole village virtually ignoring Darrell is not really doing it for me. sad

LondonMother Mon 09-Dec-13 21:53:01

I'm hoping against hope that we've heard the last of Darrell. Either his liver is going to pack up and he will take up residence in the churchyard, or he's off to some sort of rehab/in-patient care. I don't care, as long as he never speaks on air again.

With luck Jess will move on too, and the cast will get back down to a manageable size where we hear the regulars regularly. I haven't got over the shock of seeing people on the last thread but one or two asking who Oliver and Caroline were. These were people who'd been listening on and off for a few years and yet they hadn't heard enough of O and C to recognise them. Caroline in particular is one of the longest-standing characters. 60+ years of building up this cast and their back stories and this is the use they make of it - blow-ins like Darrell and Elona taking centre stage for months at a time with their storylines moving at a glacial pace, so we hear the same tedious stuff over and over again. Dispiriting.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Mon 09-Dec-13 22:10:34

Very well put LM.

But - it occurred to me listening today that it is possible there is a brain at work behind the scenes... guineapig and Panzee have both pointed out that the village has ignored Darrell. I wonder if it's just by coincidence that the two households that had the greatest potential for influencing his life were effectively put out of action over the crisis period. Lilian and Matt - hampered by their guilt over the elderly tenants fiasco. And Brian and Jenny celebrating his 70th birthday on another planet.

Either of those couples could have nipped the whole thing in the bud if they'd had a mind to. Why focus this story on Shula's inadequate intervention? If not to force her household (or at least one of them) into a compensatory hugging close of Rosa.

Oh, I hope there's a plan.....

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Mon 09-Dec-13 22:15:47

So I guess what I meant to say was that the current tedium might be forgivable if they are actually thinking far into the future - so that in 60 years time Dan and Rosa will be the village elders.

R4 Mon 09-Dec-13 22:34:07

Totally agree about Oliver and Caroline, LM.

I caught a bit of Feedback the other day where they interviewed some of TA staff, including the continuity person. She was very proud of some spreadsheet that she has that tells her what David will be doing at 4pm on a Wednesday or Tom at lunchtime of a Friday. Every script is double checked by her. Heaven forfend that they should have Tom at Sawyers on a non-sausage day!hmm
Shame her sharp attention to detail isn't allowed to cover character-traits too. I used to like young Ed, I hate what they have turned him into.

GypsyFloss Tue 10-Dec-13 06:45:07

The problem for me is that writers signpost big stuff and then it comes to nothing. Pip and that dire boyfriend who dumped her and ran off to America is one example. The writer had her nipping off for naughty weekends in Newquay and selling the family jewellery to fund it but nothing ever came to light about it.

I know here are different writers on a regular basis but they just seem to pick and dump the story lines and change the characters to suit their needs.

They promised us great things when Nigel fell off the roof but I feel like I have yet to see them. There is great mileage in Helen and she is very well acted but now it looks like Rob and Jess will move away and that'll be the last we hear of them.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Tue 10-Dec-13 08:25:08

A shiver down the spine. I wonder if (despite what the archivist said on Feedback) the writers are now assuming that listeners might just "dip in and out" so need to be kept intermittently entertained but don't need to be able to remember Ambridge history or characters.

It's painful to realise that they will have been brought up into the new dumbed down BBC. The main, main problem is that they no longer expect an intelligent audience.

LondonMother Tue 10-Dec-13 08:58:36

Most of the writers are in their 50s or older, I believe, and many have been involved with the programme for decades. I wonder if the pressure to change comes from above? Vanessa Whitburn was a very strong personality, so I imagine what she wanted she got. However, she was Editor all through what I think of as the golden period of Brian's affair with Siobhan, so I don't blame her for the relative lack of strong storylines in the last few years. Not entirely, anyway.

It's always been the case that while there are plenty of saddos devoted listeners like me who never miss an episode, there are also lots who miss weeks or months on end and then pick it up again from the omnibus or a chance encounter with the radio at lunchtime. One of the joys of having a fairly small cast and a slow burn approach to storylines was that if you heard the Christmas pantomime at New Year, you could then have a frantic few months and miss almost everything, start listening again at Easter and find that nothing much had changed. Now the casual listener might wonder if The Archers had finally been replaced by something else.

chocoluvva Tue 10-Dec-13 09:47:22

I quite like a "slow burn" and enjoy the cosiness of the village chit-chat - like a comforting rice-pudding! Ruth and David Archer seem too good to be true in a pleasant, all's right with the world way as is David's mum - whose name I've temporarily forgotten.

(Loved the Brian Archer/Siobhan, the Emma and Willl/Ed and the Ruth/ dairy guy stories too though).

I love the character of Linda Snell.

Gigondas Tue 10-Dec-13 13:27:45

I don't mind a slow burn provided it leads somewhere .
I am really hoping that Jess' party leads to a drunken out burst from Helen. Jess seems to keep asking about Helen ( in shop, when Jennifer was saying about Greg) so it could happen.

As for will and ed, I know will has put up with a lot but he is so full of bile( George hates you outburst). How can nic find him attractive?

Also nic changed character from first incarnation . Seem to remember she smacked George? Also was bit of a party girl as I remember that she went on about will buying her a mini dress. Now she is mini Clarrie.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Tue 10-Dec-13 13:55:01

Poor Nic! She's only trying to fit in. Neither Ruth nor Hayley are anything like the people they were when they arrived. (I wrote a long essay on early Nic several threads ago. Won't re-inflict it on anyone. Although tempted. )

I don't think Jess and Rob will move. Not together anyway. Maybe Rob will run away and Jess will be the one who stays?

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Tue 10-Dec-13 14:02:38

fgrinThe reason Jess keeps seeking out Helen is that she likes her and thinks they might be friends.fgrin

Despite Helen's surliness in her presence, she's probably heard enough about her to think that they have stuff in common. (Ho, Ho.) Farming families, organic sympathies... And now she knows Helen's lived through the MH tragedy of a loved one she'll be gagging to hold her hand and do some professional empathising.

ErrolTheDragon Tue 10-Dec-13 14:26:57

>Getting very bored now with the WIll and Ed thing, has been going on for too long and very predictable

Don't you realise that this sibling enmity is probably going to run for their entire lives? I realised that as soon as Emma went off with Ed. If they're anything like as long-lived as their grandfather, they'll be warring after some of us have gone!

Still, at least they managed to behave tolerably well in Clarrie's presence for her sake.

Minimammoth Tue 10-Dec-13 15:49:37

Helen and Jess: I predict either 'yoghurts at dawn' type duel for the hand of Rob.......or they form a lesbian relationship, ditch Rob and move in together.

Panzee Tue 10-Dec-13 17:22:11

If Helen and Jess get together it will make all this worthwhile!

BasketzatDawn Tue 10-Dec-13 18:18:28

Yes, Yes, both Helen and Jess are preggers with Rob's babes, they set up home together with both babies and Henry. Ambridge's first lesbian household.

I think Jess IS pregnant - there was a hint in the most recent epi - when somebody (was it Jennifer?) congratulated her, on her new job (as the only social worker in Borsetshire, who will run herself ragged dealing with all the 'Problem People', just like Usha is the only lawyer, Amy the only midwife .... at least there are several farmers and turkey pluckers)), but Jess did a double take as if a secret had been rumbled.

BasketzatDawn Tue 10-Dec-13 18:19:45

At least they won't be the only gays in the village though .....grin

TallGiraffe Tue 10-Dec-13 18:34:16

Did anyone else think Jess' moment of doubt when Jill said Confratulations was because she's pregnant and not told anyone yet? I finished my PhD about the time I got pregnant and used to freak whenever anyone said Confratulations!

TallGiraffe Tue 10-Dec-13 18:35:37

X-post! Really should not write half a post and then finish it off later!

GypsyFloss Tue 10-Dec-13 18:50:38

Yes, I heard that slight pause too. Oh I do hope so grin

BitOutOfPractice Tue 10-Dec-13 18:55:40

I thought that too. Which probably means it won't be true

BasketzatDawn Tue 10-Dec-13 19:11:20

Goodness, Shula is such a busybody. No hospital wld give so much personal info about a patient she isn't related, would they?

choccyp1g Tue 10-Dec-13 21:59:10

I think your average hospital nowadays will tell anyone anything if there is any chance you'll take the patient away and unblock the bed.

WhatSheSaid Tue 10-Dec-13 22:25:29

Just marking place.

Surely Alan would have visited Darrell as well?

Shula is still sounding as if Darrell is doing all this just to annoy her hmm

Gigondas Tue 10-Dec-13 23:20:08

Shula is a sanctimonious cow - Darrell manages to piss me off which I am sure isn't effect wanted .

Neil is lovely and sensible tho smile.

Also enjoyed Caroline telling Linda off for correcting her recipe books.

In absence of Kate or Helen, it's good to see another royal pita in shape of Leonie.

Selks Tue 10-Dec-13 23:37:10

Shula is pissing me off to be frank. Her ridiculous over-involvement with Darrell is much more about meeting her own emotional needs as a rescuer. It's all about her really, not him.

fluffiphlox Wed 11-Dec-13 09:41:15

I want Darrell to get hold of a shot gun, go on a murderous rampage, taking out the following:
The new Clarrie
Then turn the gun on himself.

ErrolTheDragon Wed 11-Dec-13 14:33:53

I was just catching up with Saturday's Times and there was a column about the General's complaint re Ed shooting Baz - his take seemed very similar to mine, ie Ed was entirely wrong to shoot a dog which wasn't worrying sheep, and that anyone other than family would be having it dealt with officially.

Though there was something about Brian supporting Will's right to be there with his dog in some report, I didn't quite get what that was about.

BasketzatDawn Wed 11-Dec-13 15:53:57

One advantage of not having a life these days is that I was able to listen again to the 2pm broadcast of last night's epi. AND I paid attention AND I laughed! Like this grin. I hope the SWs will make something of Leonie's arrival, with Lindy and Robert bickering, L bending over backwards to be a good step mum, but finding it all a bit stressful, and at least if push comes to shove her seasonal shopping is sorted. She can get Leonie a grip. I loved Linda's point about having so many more important things to deal with, like the panto and fixing the recipe books.

It made up for the woeful stuff on Darrell. Though I agree Neil was great. and he had some good lines. I must say Darrell sounds quite chipper, albeit in a severely depressed kind of way, for somebody for whom there remains some doubt over whether his liver is irretrievably damaged. I suspect he'd be more vague and not quite with it if, a few days post-overdose,there really was some risk of long-term damage. Possibly a precursor to the Ambridge Miracle Recovery from Serious Illness/Accident Fairy calling by again. I hope Shula didn't shag the doctor again.

GypsyFloss Wed 11-Dec-13 19:07:05

I'm liking this episode so far. Definitely an engagement I reckon ...

choccyp1g Wed 11-Dec-13 21:04:29

Errol I think that bit of land actually belongs to the Estate, rather than Grange Farm.
Basketz If Baz had been in a coma, he'd be right as rain by now. In fact he may yet emerge from the grave, barking happily, and wagging his tail, and shitting all over the pastures just like all the other mortally wounded characters.

cheminotte Wed 11-Dec-13 21:15:26

Thanks for the link Smile I do enjoy Nancy's articles.

Gigondas Thu 12-Dec-13 08:22:31

Peggy waxing lyrical about how she wished she had longer married to jack ( bit about him losing his memory was well done - very poignant).

rob came across as complete twat with Jess- I cannot believe that it won't come out about Helen.

Gigondas Thu 12-Dec-13 08:23:31

Posted too soon-meant that I think Peggy's memories are paving way for jack going over Xmas as someone suggested down the threAd.

ErrolTheDragon Thu 12-Dec-13 08:25:25

>I think that bit of land actually belongs to the Estate, rather than Grange Farm.
Yes, Will said that at the outset. Poor Baz was just being trained to do his job. Just wasn't sure what Brian's involvement was at that point - sort of hoping that someone does throw a large book at Ed.

ErrolTheDragon Thu 12-Dec-13 08:29:18

Good one last night. Even the bits with Jess were bearable because of the amount of squirm induced in Helen and Rob. grin Helen won't be able to include a dodgy cheese because most of the guests will be her own family and friends.

BitOutOfPractice Thu 12-Dec-13 10:30:17

Rob was particularly knobbish last night wasn't he?

I loved the bit with Peggy and Tom. "Just make sure it sparkles!" <sniffle>

GrendelsMum Thu 12-Dec-13 16:27:14

Rob was positively villainous. Excellent.

LondonMother Thu 12-Dec-13 16:54:40

I'm looking forward to this party.

"Here, Jess, Rob, have some of these special canapes I have made especially for you two. NO!!!! NOT YOU, GRAN! NOR YOU, KIRSTY AND TOM AND MUM AND DAD, NOR ANYONE ELSE WITH ARCHER BLOOD IN YOUR VEINS! I made these for Jess and Rob. Yes, I know they smell a bit odd, and, OK, they look slightly odd too, but that's because it's artisan cheese. What do you mean, you don't fancy any right now? I'm not moving away till I see you eat them! No, I won't leave! How dare you say I've had too much to drink! Next you'll be saying I'm a bunny boiler and I'm not! Rob was the only man I ever loved! I have every right to be here, it's her who should be leaving, he belongs with me and if I can't have him I'm going to make sure nobody else can either!"

I won't be satisfied with much less than this.

TallGiraffe Thu 12-Dec-13 21:46:00

Oh this week is proving a great week! Well done SWs.

Gigondas Thu 12-Dec-13 22:12:52

It is- I liked the bits with Jill , Ruth and David.

It was magic what George did and Emma's reaction ( and the comedy moment with Ed and the scones ).

As for Shula, she is taking interfering for her own reasons and martyrdom to new lengths. I don't remember her giving time of day to Darrell before he became her cause. Did anyone else hear Jill's sly dig about having the house to themselves?

Darrell is on the same amount of borrowed time as a Xmas Turkey.

Eastpoint Fri 13-Dec-13 06:04:21

I feel so frustrated that I heard a little of Thursday's episode live & it isn't on line yet. I want to know what happened, what will send me back to sleep?

BitOutOfPractice Fri 13-Dec-13 07:15:15

Me and the kids all snorted when Emmur said on the phone to Ed "I had to apologise to an elf!" grin

MrsCampbellBlack Fri 13-Dec-13 07:57:28

I haven't listened to last night's episode yet but in tuesday's - I had the feeling that Rob was about to hit Jess - he was really horrible to her.

ErrolTheDragon Fri 13-Dec-13 08:28:17

I missed whatever it was that George did. Will have to try to catch the repeat.

I'm cross enough with Ed for shooting a dog, but even thinking about getting George a puppy without having in the slightest thought through the practicalities angry... I'm half tempted to start a thread in DogHouse.

Theas18 Fri 13-Dec-13 09:25:13

OOOh I know wat Rob was doing, this is MN story line.... he's gaslighting her and she's resisting at he moment...

R " well you said we should move out of Ambridge"

J " no I didn't that was YOUR suggestion".

Thats gaslighting innit?

PennyForum Fri 13-Dec-13 09:52:36

Eastpoint, I'm waiting for it to. Am overseas and usually listen to the podcast over my breakfast.

I am so looking to this party!

BitOutOfPractice Fri 13-Dec-13 10:03:53

When is the party may have to reschedule week

BitOutOfPractice Fri 13-Dec-13 19:14:05

Is Leone pregnant?

BasketzatDawn Fri 13-Dec-13 19:30:01

She could be, I suppose - scoffing ice cream (though it has to be said that isn't a classic sign, unless you add coal dust or summat smile), but the labile mood. is that what you're thinking BOoP? Certainly could be a funny script idea - Fagash and Lindy being 'connected'. I wonder what lil will do when she learns Linda has been 'harbouring' Leonie.

Like others. I am enjoying TA again now - it's perked up quite a lot in last few days. Yay!

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Fri 13-Dec-13 19:46:50


Should we assume the "perking up" is due to all the hard work we've put in this year scoffing at anything sub-standard?

And now I'm back to saying "poor Darrell"! Is that two Friday cliffhangers in a row?

BitOutOfPractice Fri 13-Dec-13 19:53:13

A so-called "friend" phoned at 10 past 7 so I missed the last 5 minutes.

Not sure what made me think Leone was up the duff. Might've bet when she said "I'm not sure if I can put up with his childish behaviour...not now when..." <dramatic pause>

cheminotte Fri 13-Dec-13 21:38:14

Lol at 'I had to apologise to an elf' from Emma on Thursday's episode. Can't think of anything worse!!!

ErrolTheDragon Fri 13-Dec-13 22:36:11

BOOP - I thought the same when she said that. I was hoping for it before - mostly for Lynda and Lillian being co-grandmothers.

I was enjoying Jill and Jim's jaunt until Darrell cropped up. Didn't like Jill's attitude at all.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Fri 13-Dec-13 22:56:30

Wait - did I hear Leonie saying she was 39?fshock

I've always "heard" her as a whiny, spoilt, just out of "uni" / messing about in a frivolous job young woman; not a proper grown-up! Such a shock to hear Lynda describe her as middle-aged.

But yes - a child that brought Lilian and Lynda into familial relations would be utterly fabulous.

TallGiraffe Sat 14-Dec-13 07:19:00

There's going to be a shortage of beds in the maternity unit!

PseudoSanta Sat 14-Dec-13 07:38:53

Rob is completely gaslighting Jess! Has there ever been a DA/EA storyline in the programme?

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sat 14-Dec-13 08:00:27

This is the only story I remember....

Simon Pemberton (Peter Wingfield), Guy Pemberton's caddish son, inherited the estate after his father's death. Pemberton unsuccessfully attempted to end the Grundy's tenancy of Grange Farm following their farm fire in 1996. He had a brief relationship with Shula after Mark's death, but hit her after she confronted him with evidence that he was involved with another woman. Subsequently, he came close to having a relationship with Debbie Aldridge, but Pemberton assaulted her after she confessed that she could not love him.[33] Pemberton then quickly left Ambridge after denying responsibility for his actions to Brian (Wiki)

But I'm sure there must be others.

MrsCampbellBlack Sat 14-Dec-13 09:02:16

I reckon Leonie is pregnant and also Helen and Jess.

I definitely think Rob is going to start slapping Jess and possibly Helen too.

Jill is the anti-Samaritan - talk about 'i'm alright Jack' or in this case Jim.

OK I couldn't have taken Darrell in but I hope I'd have a little more empathy to his situation. Phil would have been much kinder but then he always tempered Jill's mean streak.

CuttedUpPear Sat 14-Dec-13 10:27:15

I like the way when Jill was talking so dismissively of Darryl last night they were playing "Feed The World" in the background - nice juxtaposition.

I do think it's an interesting story with Darryl. It is a device to illustrate how homelessness can happen. I have a teenage runaway living with me at the moment and also a friend who became homeless without warning. Neither of them have a drink problem or any mental health issues though so it's easy for us to take them in.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sat 14-Dec-13 10:57:48

Well that's the thing isn't it? They made sure to sear the words "Bad Person" into Darrell's forehead before ever they raised the issue of homelessness. Short of incest I can't think of an evil they haven't loaded him with.

The fact that someone has decided that this is the message they want to send out is not just disappointing - it's heartbreaking.

R4 Sat 14-Dec-13 11:41:28

To be fair to the SW, you can't complain that they are equating homelessness with Bad People because he's not the only homeless story - what about Ed'n'Em?

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sat 14-Dec-13 12:25:11

But they were never presented - as a couple - as the "undeserving". They weren't sleeping on park benches and generally littering up the pristine village green. They've gone from an uncomfortable but invisible caravan to accommodation with job to the Carters' luxury home.

Ed was "punished" with a brief period of homelessness after he stole Emma. But he has been redeemed by years of "hard work"....

Think my argument stands. Tory story.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sat 14-Dec-13 12:28:29

Sorry, tbc "undeserving" as in "ugly face of..."

GypsyFloss Sat 14-Dec-13 13:06:08

I agree with you MrsCampbellBlack , especially with regard to Rob and the potential for DV. He is a nasty piece of work and I can just hear Jenny darling saying " oh I always thought he was such a nice man".

ArtexTheHallWithBoughsOfMonkey Sat 14-Dec-13 15:58:56

Yes, agree rob and Jess are going to do the 'x % of DV starts or escalates during pregnancy' issue.

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Sun 15-Dec-13 10:31:43

Leonie is deffo up the duff.

The scriptwriters are really ticking off all the seasonal appeal favourites: homelessness, addiction, family bteakfown, domestic abuse .... Cheerful.

To be flippant for a mo, having Shula flapping and sighin over you 24/7 would make anyone suicidal.

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Sun 15-Dec-13 10:32:23

Breakdown. Where's autocorrect when you actually need it?

boobashka Sun 15-Dec-13 11:33:12

Really enjoyed what I heard of today's omnibus. Laughed at Linda's "Lamb chops and quinoa"fsmile Agree Rob is evil.
Sick of the Daryl storyline too and Shula's martyrdom. Apart from that tho, enjoying TA now more than for a long time.

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Sun 15-Dec-13 14:50:03

Yes lamb chops and quinoa made me laugh too!

Minimammoth Sun 15-Dec-13 15:42:51

At least we have Tom and Krusty getting engaged to look forward to, oh yes we have.

I had forgotten Leonie's name

when Lynda said it I thought she was saying Naomi & had no idea who it might be confused

Bluestocking Sun 15-Dec-13 21:06:31

Damn, I missed Lynda's lamb chops and quinoa!
Leonie is definitely pregnant, all the drooping around and tearfulness.

OddFodd Sun 15-Dec-13 21:26:06

I think Feedback is definitely reading this thread - they had the archivist on again this week, saying how much they try and get characters to react 'in character'. Not doing a v good job of it!

I don't think I can bear a pregnant Leonie.

I think Jess might well be because that will tip Hellin into bunny boiler territory. Surely Hellin can't be pregnant too as it's ages since she last shagged Rob isn't it?

choccyp1g Sun 15-Dec-13 21:36:25

How about Helen is pregnant, but she pretends she just went back to the instant sperm-donor place, and was keeping it secret until it becomes obvious...?

Then we'd have this child growing up with only Helen and Rob knowing that he is Rob's son, and Jess could have a can see where I'm going in about 20 years time.

Or has it already been done on Eastenders?

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 15-Dec-13 21:45:12

Odd Are you kidding? The James/Leonie baby will be one of the biggest events in Ambridge history.fgrin

Lynda and Lilian as fellow grannies. Matt as a Grandpa (oh my!) James will suddenly want to be sure his inheritance is secure. Leonie's sister's nose will be put out of joint..... A direct lineage back to Peggy and the first Jack. OMG - cousin to Henry! (And Phoebe and her invisible half-siblings)

Truly Rob's little menage is a blip compared to this......

1st cousin to Henry (& Rich of course....)

Blimey. Good spot, Zero grin

OddFodd Sun 15-Dec-13 21:59:12

I'd be happy with the general storyline but I just hate Leonie with such a passion that I can't bear her to have any more airtime. She's such a workshy drama queen grin

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 15-Dec-13 22:02:56


The "core" Archers: Shula; Kenton; David and Elizabeth are 1st cousins to Lilian; Jennifer and Tony.

What does that make their children? And their children?

What I mean is - Leonie's baby will be an Archer (although Lilian goes by her married name,) whereas any child of Rob's is pretty much nobody....

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 15-Dec-13 22:06:29

Damn - have I got that wrong? Think so. Peggy's first husband was "Dan's* brother wasn't he - not Phil's brother. Oh it's too late to look up family trees...

He /She will still be an Archer.fgrin

LondonMother Sun 15-Dec-13 22:14:30

Dan and Doris
Jack and Peggy
Lilian and Ralph
James and Leonie
Baby Bellamy-Snell (Roberta?)

Dan and Doris
Jack and Peggy
Tony and Pat
Helen and Rob
Baby Archer (Robina?)

I get muddled with what you call cousins but James, Helen, Tom, Adam, Debbie, Kate, Alice, Shula, Kenton, David and Elizabeth are all great-grandchildren of Dan and Doris Archer. I can't remember if Christine's son Paul has any children but if he does they'd be in that category too.

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Sun 15-Dec-13 22:25:26

According to this, Tom is the head of the family in the younger generation - is it right ? (I just googled Archers family tree).

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 15-Dec-13 22:28:05

Nah! LM the drink's getting to you.fgrin

Dan and Doris were S; K; D and E's Grandparents. I know - I was there....

Although I did forget that any Helen/ Rob baby would be an Archer too.... Probably better for its connection to Rob to remain unacknowledged.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 15-Dec-13 22:31:03


Loving Roberta and Robina!

LondonMother Sun 15-Dec-13 23:12:21

One G&T and the old memory cells are wiped. You're quite right, of course, Zero.

[off to throw myself in the Am]

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 15-Dec-13 23:42:55

I'll have to tackle Somewhere's family tree tomorrow - far too befuddled tonight....

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Mon 16-Dec-13 07:20:46

Zero - I think from what I can tell that it's out of date (missing a few kids and remarriages) ...

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Mon 16-Dec-13 10:04:44

It didn't sound quite right! Loads of that generation are older than Tom. I think there are better family trees around. Wiki?

OddFodd Mon 16-Dec-13 10:34:54


It's a bit out of date (horrid Henry's not on it, nor Rich) but not bad

OddFodd Mon 16-Dec-13 10:40:50

According to that, James was born in 1973 so Leonie could well be 39 I guess. It feels like they forgot to make those characters grow up!

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Mon 16-Dec-13 10:42:14

Fantabulous! I was right the first time about who's cousin to whom.fgrin

Oh, next year's going to be fun. For once - if Leonie is about to produce an Archer - I salute the SWs.

ppeatfruit Mon 16-Dec-13 17:02:44

The S,W.'s are avin a larf arn't they? Panto land at the Archers; what with homeless in the woods (Darryl story) pregnant and single (leonie story) son against stepdad due to dead puppy, possibly to get a new one (wee george's story). Also the 2 possible grannies at one anothers throats (Lynda and Lilian). PLUS the leads in the panto getting engaged AAAAAh innit sweet!!!!

BitOutOfPractice Mon 16-Dec-13 17:57:23

Are my eyes deceiving me or have I started on the sauvignon blanc too early or is that family tree saying that Eddie and Clarrie are cousins?!

LondonMother Mon 16-Dec-13 18:04:11

It's the Sauvignon, Bit, but understandable as the layout is a bit basic. There's no relationship between Ned and Mabel Larkin and the Grundy clan, but at first glance it does look that way if you are three sheets to the wind.

OddFodd Mon 16-Dec-13 18:09:04

Someone needs to redraw that tree with the new additions/marriages. I think there'll have to be colour coding for the Horrobins/Grundys/Perkins/Tucker interconnections or it just gets too confusing

BitOutOfPractice Mon 16-Dec-13 18:25:42

Thank you LM. I felt rather discombobulated by that idea! I've only had one you cheeky girl

BitOutOfPractice Mon 16-Dec-13 19:04:29

"There's something about avocadoes in December that I find slightly disturbing!"

Classic Jenny Darling! fgrin

LondonMother Mon 16-Dec-13 19:34:49

Yes, loved that line! Reminded me of my all-time favourite Archers line from Phil - 'I came late to avocadoes...'

My other top favourite was from Peggy. She was bossing everybody round before a jumble sale and she said in her best autocratic tones 'There must be access to tea at all times!'

Anyway, back to the present day. Rob is insufferable. That's point 1.

Point 2: I don't know what has gone on between Rob and Jess in the past but I admire the way the SWs have just dropped us into the middle of this relationship without spelling it out in tedious detail. It reminds me of when Tim and Siobhan arrived in the village and there was a wonderful tantalising line from Tim, something along the lines of 'We can make a fresh start here and draw a line under what happened in Islington'. We never did find out in any detail what had happened between them before, but that was enough to let us know that this was not an idyllic marriage. I like being treated as a grown up listener in this way.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Mon 16-Dec-13 19:44:04


Jenny gushing to Jess about what a great catch Rob is.

Jess anxious to emulate Jenny and Brian's long blissful marriage.



LondonMother Mon 16-Dec-13 19:51:34

Is it possible that Rob has not told Jess about Ruairidh's relationship to Brian and Jennifer? I am hoping not, and that Jess puts her foot in it soon by talking about 'your grandson'.

CuttedUpPear Mon 16-Dec-13 20:07:23


Jess: "I hope that one day my marriage will be exactly like yours and Brine's, Jennifer"
Jennydahling: "Well that certainly would be something"


Lomaamina Mon 16-Dec-13 20:09:22

LondonMother fgrin

Panzee Mon 16-Dec-13 20:28:05

Will and Nic are going to get a puppy too, aren't they?

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Mon 16-Dec-13 21:04:02

Why would Brian have discussed his son's parentage with his new employee?

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Mon 16-Dec-13 21:30:10

And even Susan might have kept this (oh god my laptop writes disgracefukfgrin ) ahem - disgraceful info to herself, now that she's a member of the family...

TallGiraffe Mon 16-Dec-13 21:40:37

But wouldn't it be obvious? He calls Brian Dad (I think) and Jenny is a bit long in the tooth for siring offspring!

LondonMother Mon 16-Dec-13 21:51:09

Not only obvious, but in any normal village it would be so scandalous that it would be one of the first things any newcomer to the village would hear. In Ambridge, however, gossip is not as in other villages, so who knows...

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Mon 16-Dec-13 22:00:28

You could be right. But given today's "happy marriages" conversation I would hope the revelation might merit its own episode.....

Gigondas Mon 16-Dec-13 23:02:27

Today's episode was a belter especially bit about wanting Jennifer's marriage.

curlew Mon 16-Dec-13 23:22:10

Isn't Adam head of the younger generation?

MrsCampbellBlack Tue 17-Dec-13 07:32:55

I can't believe Ed is going to get a puppy - he is just so stupid. Will will get another one as he needs to train up a working dog and it just looks like one upmanship.

And I just can't see Susan embracing a puppy? And if ednemmur ever want to rent again - it would be very difficult with a dog in tow. Also how could they afford all the vaccinations/vet's bills etc?

And I did laugh at Jess' hero worship of jennifer and her kitchen and her marriage. I suspect Jess will end up with a marriage just like Jennifers, complete with illegitimate offspring

ppeatfruit Tue 17-Dec-13 07:48:49

Zero grin fgrin your keyboard !!!

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Tue 17-Dec-13 08:03:39

I know.....

I was fshock fblush

ppeatfruit Tue 17-Dec-13 08:21:43

I'd never heard of a keyboard with Freudian slips !!!!

BitOutOfPractice Tue 17-Dec-13 08:29:00

Hmmm curlew. I think he's older than tom but tom is the son of the older brother isn't he? If it were like a royal family it'd pass down the male line and tom would have it.

curlew Tue 17-Dec-13 08:46:54

True- but I thought Tony was younger than Jennifer? Only son, though......

ErrolTheDragon Tue 17-Dec-13 09:19:54

I've missed a couple, wish I'd heard the Jess/Jenny bit! Well, perhaps Helen is upduffed but in a few years time will die of cheese fever and bequeath her offspring to Jess...

Surely Susan and Neil will veto a casual puppy? Please SWs lets have a strong 'A dog is for life not just for Christmas' message. Will of course will need to get a replacement for Baz anyway for work.

BitOutOfPractice Tue 17-Dec-13 11:42:20

No I think tony is the eldest. I think

ppeatfruit Tue 17-Dec-13 12:25:23

Well Errol The discussion between Emm and Ed about the puppy seems serious and not flippant at all. I'm sure as country people they would look after it properly. I say that but in France around here (in the rural backwater) dogs are generally NOT looked after well.

fluffiphlox Tue 17-Dec-13 13:19:39

No. Both Jennifer and Lilian are older than Tony.

I've been listening since the early 70s when I should have been doing my homework.

Favourite line: 'Mummy, where's Comet?')

(Comet was a pony who had gone to the knacker's yard, rather unexpectedly).

or: 'Sammy, you've come back!' (Tony to Peggy's cat, that he should have been looking after)

PseudoSanta Tue 17-Dec-13 13:27:48

How wonderful was last night's episode! I loved the clear back story with Jess and Rob that we don't know about. And knowing more about Jenny's marriage than Jess does was a lovely thing too.

PseudoSanta Tue 17-Dec-13 13:30:01

And Rob - "I don't want to live in bloody Ambridge". He's obviously heard The Archers grin

Tom is the oldest one with the Archer surname, but Adam is the oldest of that generation.

oh wait - Helen is the oldest one with the Archer surname!!!

Eastpoint Tue 17-Dec-13 18:04:36

I just listened to last night's episode - really good, I agree completely with PseudoSanta & MrsCampbellBlack.

ErrolTheDragon Tue 17-Dec-13 18:26:36

I caught the repeat too - Jess has got a bit of a crush on Jenny and her lifestyle, hasn't she? I don't think she's going to be able to emulate that - Brine is a philanderer but he and Jenny are partners, Rob seems to have a very nasty streak and there's definitely something askew with that relationship.

ErrolTheDragon Tue 17-Dec-13 19:05:56

>The discussion between Emm and Ed about the puppy seems serious and not flippant at all.

I'm growling already at the opening of tonights...

TallGiraffe Tue 17-Dec-13 19:27:00

Can I just ask, as a lifelong vegetarian, what is a fish kettle?!

BitOutOfPractice Tue 17-Dec-13 19:40:54

It's a long metal container for poaching fish in I believe. Like Jess, I don't have one

curlew Tue 17-Dec-13 19:43:55

Anyone want to borrow mine? Well, they'll have to wait til after Christmas- I need it for steaming multiple Christmas puddings.......

curlew Tue 17-Dec-13 19:44:45

I think I'm channelling my inner Jennydarling.........

PseudoSanta Tue 17-Dec-13 19:47:59
Eastpoint Tue 17-Dec-13 20:09:12

Jenny's recipe for salmon is what you'd expect from a 65 yr old. Jess' own recipe seemed much more interesting to me.

I like Jess & feel very sorry for her.

Selks Tue 17-Dec-13 20:14:22

'Better take another gas canister out to Darrell, Ed, for his heater.....'

That is NOT going to end well!!

OddFodd Tue 17-Dec-13 20:24:34

A side of poached salmon, decorated with slices of cucumber, as the centrepiece of a buffet fills me with horror.

Jess is going to be laughed out of the village

curlew Tue 17-Dec-13 20:30:52

Really? I think it sounds lovely. blush. I wouldn't like wasabi mayonnaise with cold salmon- it would drown it.

GypsyFloss Tue 17-Dec-13 20:50:43

Poor Darrell , I predict a deading when that new gas canister meets the fumes from Joe's special scrumpy.

OddFodd Tue 17-Dec-13 20:54:04

My mum is a similar age to Jennifer - perhaps I've just eaten it too many times grin (although I do think it's really bland)

oh yes, the gas canisters are a horrible idea. But surely we can't have another Xmas drama death so soon after Nigel-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh

GypsyFloss Tue 17-Dec-13 20:58:36

I can just hear Nigel's voice now OddFodd.

I thought Jess would be pregnant but now I'm not so sure. The cordial and cheese buying would have been a perfect time to drop that into the conversation in the shop. And watching Helen's head spin grin

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Tue 17-Dec-13 21:23:53

Just caught up... It's awful.fsad Jess so badly wants to be best friends with Kirstie and Helen.

ErrolTheDragon Tue 17-Dec-13 21:44:33

Kirsty might yet become her friend - after all, as she said it's not Jess's fault - Helen is the OW.

Bluestocking Tue 17-Dec-13 21:59:50

I could listen to Jess hero-worshipping Jennydarling, and JD enjoying it but feeling a little bit uncomfortable and unnerved, all day. I'm even warming to the Jess actor's bonkers delivery of the lines and all the ranDOM stresses and strange ... spaces between words. Perhaps they're symptomatic of some sort of awful mental distress brought on by being the child bride of the Master Gaslighter of Hampshire?

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Tue 17-Dec-13 22:50:55

Jess seems remarkably thick skinned for someone in a caring profession. If people were as determinedly offhand and unhelpful to me in a small "local" shop I would probably retreat in tears and never go back. But she doesn't seem to notice.fhmm

I truly wish they had thought harder about the casting of Jess - because at this stage I still think there's potential for her to become a pillar of the village community long after her worthless husband has disappeared. I'm sure the actress is a perfectly lovely person but she's so, so wrong for the part.

nennypops Wed 18-Dec-13 00:22:26

I think at some point Rob's abuse is going to get physical, and Jess will rush crying from the house where she will meet Hellin. There are then two ways for it to go:

1. The scales fall from Hellin's eyes and she realises what a bastard Rob is, and she enthusiastially helps Jess get an injunction and generally joins in kicking him where it hurts.

2. Hellin refuses to believe Rob could ever do such a think but realises this is her chance, encourages Jess to leave and moves in. Whereupon Rob starts slapping Henry around and telling Hellin he needs discipline.

I suspect the SWs will go for no. 2.

WhatSheSaid Wed 18-Dec-13 01:23:48

I think Rob and Helen are going to resume their affair. Helen is clearly not over him despite him being an arse

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Wed 18-Dec-13 02:35:46

Oh no! Remind me - are the turkeys in the shed?

Re the coming conflagration; Darrell may be expendable, the Grundys' Christmas turkey profits are definitely not.

PseudoSanta Wed 18-Dec-13 06:20:19

Darrell will knock some cider over onto the turkey's and they will all be inexplicably ruined?

curlew Wed 18-Dec-13 06:57:07

"Darrell will knock some cider over onto the turkey's and they will all be inexplicably ruined?"

Or alternatively, they will be the most delicious turkeys ever produced, and the Grundy's Cider Turkey will become the Ham in Coke de nos jour.......

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 18-Dec-13 07:41:17

So Will is also going to get George a new puppy isn't he?

And seriously emmur - ed shot the last puppy - he's not such a wonderful person for finding a new one.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 18-Dec-13 07:43:44

I am loving Eddie being so nice to darrell - him and neil have been the true stars of this storyline.

heronsfly Wed 18-Dec-13 07:59:21

I think the gas canisters were mentioned enough times to be significant too, maybe not a deading, perhaps a serious injury that he will instantly recover from and it will never be mentioned again and Ellona will rush to his bedside declaring undying love and Darrell will become a pillar of the community fgrin

Minimammoth Wed 18-Dec-13 08:07:16

Smoked turkey will be on sale in the shop and Ambridge will be filled with a delicious roast turkey smell for a few days.
Didn't we have a fire not that long ago?

GypsyFloss Wed 18-Dec-13 08:13:25

So...both Grundys turn up on the same day to choose a puppy from the same litter thus continuing the sibling rivalry even via their dogs.

heronsfly that sounds about right for the Ambridge Fairy to accomplish in time for Christmas.

Gigondas Wed 18-Dec-13 08:17:24

I reckon it's what zero said Bout losing turkey's.

Followed by Darrell whining his 10848 version of "I am sorry i didn't mean to" ruin videos/lose my job/scare the horses/get drunk.

I really hope it's not the turkeys- eddie has been so lovely to Jo and to Darrell not to mention with dealing with fallout of Ed v will (albeit you could argue he has his part to play in this), he doesn't deserve more bad luck sad.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Wed 18-Dec-13 09:38:03

It's all rather ominous.... I always look forward to the seasonal turkey plucking scenes but they do seem to be concentrating on the story this year. It would be too awful if after all their hard work the Grundys are left with nothing.

Also, I've forgotten pretty much everything I ever knew about criminal responsibility (mainly because I only ever really understood it on the night before finals and was generally frantically consulting textbooks on the way to court....) but will the Grundys be guilty of anything if /when Darrell dies on their premises? (Or would his daughters sue in tort for negligence?) It would be different if they didn't know he was there - but they invited him to remain, supplied gas canisters, and poor darling Eddie was happy to claim responsibility for the dead man walking last night......

(It was rather thrilling to have back the old, sensitive, socially aware, delicious Ed that I Emma fell in love with years ago.)

GypsyFloss Wed 18-Dec-13 09:40:31

I thought when Ed phoned Eddie to come up to the field,Eddie asked if it was someone in the turkey shed and Ed said no it was the cider shed. So hopefully the turkeys will be safe.

What I don't want is a blaze where one of the brothers ends up in a dramatic rescue of the other. Unless the writers have run out of ideas to keep them feuding and reckon this is the only way to end it , with Ed redeeming himself by saving Will.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Wed 18-Dec-13 09:41:33

It would be no loss if the other Grundy brother should die a hero's death saving the family profits from the flames....

Pseudo did you plan this?......

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Wed 18-Dec-13 09:43:05

Ooooh, x'd but same idea!

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Wed 18-Dec-13 09:51:43

So what could this mean?

Darrell as a red herring, not dying himself but being the cause of the far more significant death of (please god let it be) Will?

Because we haven't yet seen the cause of Nic and George's taking to religion.....

I wish this hadn't come into my head. fsad

WillieWagglingRoundTheXmasTree Wed 18-Dec-13 10:03:21

i usually just lurk on this thread, but i was dying for jess last night listening to her saying something like 'you've both been so helpful, i really feel like i've had the personal treatment' when H and K were being so off-hand. was she genuinely feeling that or was she trying to become BFFs with them? and then later when they were talking about going to the nightclub... agree Zero that she is pretty thick-skinned!

i feel like Kirsty should be nicer to Jess but maybe she can't be in front of helen

WillieWagglingRoundTheXmasTree Wed 18-Dec-13 10:05:14

also, what would a dog rescue / breeder would say if they found out that someone trying to buy a puppy had recently shot and killed a dog?! i doubt E+E would mention it, but surely that would be a massive red flag if they did

ppeatfruit Wed 18-Dec-13 10:13:08

Oh don't worry sensible Neil will come to see Darryl and realise that there's a disaster waiting to happen (notice that both Ed snr and jnr. are too stupid to think through the gas cannister threat).

It'll happen (if it does ) when Jess is taking her leftover salmon to homeless Darryl after all the turkeys are gone, they've nearly all gone now anyway haven't they? and that'll put pay to 2 annoying characters at once,oh i nearly forgot Jack is also hiding in the shed after escaping from his home. fgrin So that makes 3 then !!!!

Minimammoth Wed 18-Dec-13 10:21:20

Careful or JeanPaul may turn up.

GypsyFloss Wed 18-Dec-13 12:29:38

What about Eddie dying to save the boys? That would shake Ambridge to the core.

ChristmasPartyFRocknRollNerd Wed 18-Dec-13 13:03:29

I could listen to Jess hero-worshipping Jennydarling, and JD enjoying it but feeling a little bit uncomfortable and unnerved, all day.

This, a thousand times over, this. It was a brief moment of Archers as it should be...loaded but not clunking with irony, delicious Jenniyisms, it had it all.

The gas-cannister comment did feel so very very pointed didn't it. I fear for Ed I reckon as we've had our annual glimpse of Emma-as-a-human with her conversation with Helen so that can't possibly last.

And can I also say this is a genius thread title.

heronsfly Wed 18-Dec-13 13:40:24

I would rather like to hear one of the Grundy brothers diving into a burning barn and rescuing the other, it would be very 'naice' and Christmasy fgrin

guineapiglet Wed 18-Dec-13 16:31:31

I will be very fed up if we have another death in Ambrige over Christmas, it really isnt very seasonal or realistic - or is it ( back to my Darrell in a Manger idea)? We all know there will be some special seasonal episode, but does it have to be death and destruction?

However one of the actors ( Jack) died some time ago, so surely the SWs have to somehow come up with a story line for him as well? Could he be found wondering into Darrell's shack in the middle of the night? They must know that we all know he isnt going to reappear as a character, so it will be interesting to see if they just drop that in, just as Peggy was getting her head around Tom and Kirsty....

I have a horrible feeling there is a horrible back story to Rob and Jess - he seems very aggressive, manipulating and controlling, his true personality now coming to light? Hellin is well rid of him, even if he is 'easy on the eye' Jess is a bit too placid for my liking, but can't wait for the party to see what will be revealed fgrin

guineapiglet Wed 18-Dec-13 16:32:26

Sorry - too many horribles!

BitOutOfPractice Wed 18-Dec-13 19:15:53

We were right!!

GypsyFloss Wed 18-Dec-13 19:20:21

Yes! Does this mean Jess or Helen won't be pregnant too? I wonder how many upduffed ladies they can have at any one time.

I am now more concerned than before about the Grundy family and the gas heater. It's all sounds very portentous . I think that Ed is going to die or be very badly injured in a fire, saving his Dad and if it is the later I don't think Emma will cope very well with that.

ErrolTheDragon Wed 18-Dec-13 19:25:30

Arghh... I missed it and its not available online yet - anyone know when the new episode usually shows up?

PseudoSanta Wed 18-Dec-13 19:28:49

I think Jess and Helen's storyline is more of a DV one than a preggers one. I think there will be an incident between the couple after the party. Not sure what will happen with Helen though. Perhaps Jess sees her as a friend and will confide in her that Rob is an abusive shit.

ErrolTheDragon Wed 18-Dec-13 20:23:59

On the website it said 'Lynda receives unexpected news.' grin Not unexpected by us!

So what's Ed going to do now? Hopefully not a gumtree or a puppy farm (a farmer selling collie/lab accidents crosses wasn't exactly great)

PseudoSanta Wed 18-Dec-13 20:32:18

Have you listened Errol? It's on the podcast now.

ErrolTheDragon Wed 18-Dec-13 21:05:08

Yes, I had the page open and refreshed it every few minutes until it was there, thanks. smile

MrsCampbellBlack Thu 19-Dec-13 06:58:32

Will has already got a puppy for George I bet.

Honestly, you'd think emma would mention to will what they were going to do - it would annoy anyone let alone Will.

Can you imagine emma posting in the doghouse - 'my dp shot a dog as he does sort of hate them in a slightly deranged way so now we're getting a new puppy - isn't he wonderful' wink

agnesf Thu 19-Dec-13 14:27:04

Hello - I'm new to this thread but not to the Archers - have been listening on and off for about 20 years but I still don't know who is who and who is related to who.

The only thing I don't like about the Archers is Jill - he voice really drives me mad and her tedious old lady wisdom reminds me too much of a particular old lady relative in my life.

Since the bad driving story line has been going I've been hoping she's going to get done for dangerous driving.

Am I banned for life from this thread.

ErrolTheDragon Thu 19-Dec-13 15:51:42

>Can you imagine emma posting in the doghouse - 'my dp shot a dog as he does sort of hate them in a slightly deranged way so now we're getting a new puppy - isn't he wonderful'

...and we're living in my parents' house but that's OK, my 8yo DS will look after it. We tried to get a rescue but they won't let us have one before Christmas even though my DS is so upset that DP shot DS's dad's dog - its all he wants, he kicked santa and I had to apologise to an elf blush. We couldn't even get a collie/lab cross from a farmer before the new year. Can anyone tell me where we can get a puppy for Christmas?

ppeatfruit Thu 19-Dec-13 16:30:47

agnesf I hope I speak for everyone in welcoming you with open arms to the best thread on MN fgrin we all have our pet likes and dislikes but we 're generally great!!

heronsfly Thu 19-Dec-13 16:56:46

I cant stand Jill's voice either agnesf, it sends me into a bit of a trance, actually it seems not quite normal maybe she is the Ambridge alien fgrin

Panzee Thu 19-Dec-13 16:56:55

I felt so sorry for Georgie, he's really grieving for Bazz and Emma told him off! Beautifully in character though. smile

I agree that it's getting good again. I'm another one hoping for the twee "one brother saves another" ending.

MrsCampbellBlack Thu 19-Dec-13 17:04:06

LOL Errol

Ed does seem close to anger at the moment his 'its not good enough' was quite menacing. Is he going to steal a puppy?

Am liking the Leonie and Linda storyline

crumpet Thu 19-Dec-13 17:15:41

Is George really 8??

BitOutOfPractice Thu 19-Dec-13 17:42:21

Is he? He seems to play younger than that!!

ErrolTheDragon Thu 19-Dec-13 17:56:04

Born april 2005.

I wasn't sure how old he was but surprised he'd been to see FC

JollyGolightly Thu 19-Dec-13 18:47:44

Is anyone else excited about tonight's episode?
Last time I felt like this it was before the denouement of the Lillian/Paul/Matt storyline and I was sorely disappointed.

ErrolTheDragon Thu 19-Dec-13 18:55:36

I've got a webex meeting at 7pm ... the colleagues I work with are mostly in California. Will have to try to catch up later

OddFodd Thu 19-Dec-13 18:59:42

I'm very excited grin

MrsCampbellBlack Thu 19-Dec-13 19:07:51

Loving it so far

MrsCampbellBlack Thu 19-Dec-13 19:11:46

He's going to hit Jess at the end of the night isn't he?

JollyGolightly Thu 19-Dec-13 19:16:34

Well that was excellent!

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Thu 19-Dec-13 19:16:41

Nasty, nasty man....

Welcome agnesfgrin

duchesse Thu 19-Dec-13 19:17:01

That Rob is an utter bloody cad. It's about time they had a decent DV storyline- it needs airing imo.

OddFodd Thu 19-Dec-13 19:20:30

Yep I think it's going to be DV. I don't think they've done that in a long term relationship have they? Simon/Debbie was short-lived but I suspect this kind of DV is much more common (and hidden) sad

It was a brilliant episode

Selks Thu 19-Dec-13 19:24:05

Poor Jess.....sat on the kitchen floor amongst the salmon...
Rob is an utter cad.
Jennifer is insufferable - I would have decked her if I was Helen!

Minimammoth Thu 19-Dec-13 19:36:16

Oooo. Fingers in ears singing lalala, until I can catch up with this episode. Runs away from thread.

GypsyFloss Thu 19-Dec-13 19:59:15

I need to catch up, missed this evening as I caught up with some tv instead.

JollyGolightly Thu 19-Dec-13 20:03:59

TV Gypsy?!


PseudoSanta Thu 19-Dec-13 20:42:57

I missed it as poor tiny dd has been in hospital with bronchiolitis sad she's out now but not great. I listened to last night's episode at 2am driving to A&E! I hope to catch up tonight from my warm bed.

duchesse Thu 19-Dec-13 20:45:45

oh dear Pseudo, I hope she's well again soon. Bronchiolitis is horrible and even worse in tiny ones.

OddFodd Thu 19-Dec-13 20:51:26

Pseudo sad Bronchiolitis is horrible. Poor you and poor tiny DD. I hope you both manage to get some rest tonight. x

agnesf Thu 19-Dec-13 21:03:52

Thank you for warm welcome. I too have missed tonights but the Rob/ Jess/ Helen story line is one I have managed to vaguely follow. I'm a very sporadic listener but maybe now I've found you all I'll be more diligent about keeping up.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Thu 19-Dec-13 21:06:03

Sorry to hear that your lovely Dd is unwell Pseudo.

Tell her from me that we can't have the next generation of Archers listeners shirking the Christmas events.

I hope you both have a peaceful night and that she makes a swift recovery.

PseudoSanta Thu 19-Dec-13 21:16:23

Thanks everyone, who'd have a winter baby eh?
She's not bad enough to be kept in another night but I'm not entirely comfortable with her at home - she's so small!

GypsyFloss Thu 19-Dec-13 21:29:15

Wishing your baby well Pseudo , there seems to be lots of bronchiolitis around this year.

I know Jolly I felt like a heretic writing that grin and it sounds like I missed a cracker too. I will station myself right next the radio tomorrow afternoon.

OddFodd Thu 19-Dec-13 21:31:40

It's bloody scary although I'm sure they would have kept her in if they had any concerns. Keep an eye on her breathing if you're worried though (over 40/minute is too fast).

You can always take her back if you have any concerns - the A&E paed told me they'd rather parents of small babies err on the side of caution

And welcome, agnes smile I'm an entirely dedicated listener but I've become much more enthusiastic about listening daily (rather than the omnibus) since this thread. It sucks you in!

PseudoSanta Thu 19-Dec-13 21:38:16

Thanks Odd - we took her back last night having been there in the afternoon as she was breathing at 60 per minute. It was horrible.

OddFodd Thu 19-Dec-13 21:59:14

Grim sad Sorry - I see you already know what you're doing. I didn't and ended up with an embarrassing ambulance dash blush

Sleepless night ahead I'm sure. Gah. Hope there's tea and mince pies as consolation

PseudoSanta Thu 19-Dec-13 22:02:29

I only knew because they told me! It's so tough when it's down to you to make these decisions.

Just caught up - fab episode! I love Rob's 2 voices - one for Jess, one for everyone else.

Bluestocking Thu 19-Dec-13 22:47:01

I just LA'd - now that is the sort of episode that makes TA worth listening to. Rob is turning into a splendidly nasty character. Poor Jess alone in the kitchen with the wreckage of the salmon.

Gigondas Thu 19-Dec-13 22:58:44

It was a cracking episode. Jenny couldn't leave quick enough...poor Jess ,despite her odd manner of speaking.

curlew Thu 19-Dec-13 23:13:56

And Helen going on about Jess being difficult to live's positively a Mumsnet thread!

TallGiraffe Thu 19-Dec-13 23:20:13

That was brilliant.

Pseudo - hope your baby gets well soon. We know another baby who has been in hospital with it this week. Really horrible.

TallGiraffe Thu 19-Dec-13 23:40:40

So my prediction is that Rob n Hellin will end up rekindling their affair because 'he's so unhappy in his marriage'. Meanwhile the DV starts with Jess, who eventually plucks up the courage to tell someone, but chooses Hellin, who is of course disbelieving. Eventually Kirsty realises though and comes to Jess' aid, despite her loyalty to H, because she know's it's the right thing to do.

nennypops Fri 20-Dec-13 00:38:48

I was annoyed with Kirsty and Hellin desperately coming up with easy-to-demolish excuses to Jennifer. Seems to me that they could perfectly easily and politely have said sorry, absolutely can't stay, byeee. Yes, I know that wouldn't have suited the SWs' purposes, but what the hell.

I was mentally toying with Jess' potential AIBU post. Anyone coming out with that account would be deluged by Mumsnetters shrieking "LTB!"

LondonMother Fri 20-Dec-13 08:02:42

Party from hell
J4Rob Fri 20-Dec-13 06:00:00

Hi, I'm a long-time lurker and just wondered if anyone had any advice for me - hope it's OK that I'm not a Mum! My DH and I have been together since we were teenagers - we're in our 30s now. We've had our ups and downs, but he was so supportive recently when my DF died. He works in a very specialist area and we've always had to go where the work is, but I have a good career of my own and we've managed to make it work, although it's meant putting plans for a family on hold longer than we might have liked. Currently he's based in the Midlands and it's taken a long time for me to get a job round there, but now I finally have and the plan was that we could look for a house to buy. We're renting at the moment in a lovely village. I really want to stay in this village as I'm making so many really great friends there and it's a beautiful place with a real family atmosphere - in fact, most people who live there belong to one massive extended family, which is so cosy! DH's commute would be a doddle and mine would be fine too. Until recently Rob DH wanted to stay here too but now he's saying he wants to live further away and he's got really - well - I have to say, nasty when I've said that I want to stay in Ambridge this village. I can't understand it. Months ago he seemed like he couldn't wait for me to join him here and now he seems to hate the place. Could it be stress? He's been really busy and hardly ever managed to make it down to Hampshire for a while to see me at weekends.

Anyway, last night, we had a party. OK, it was my idea, and I maybe could have involved him a bit more in the planning, but he's been so absolutely vile about the whole idea. I've been rather upset, actually. It was his boss's wife's suggestion to have the party so you'd have thought he'd have seen what a good idea it was! She's an amazing woman, and I've been seeing her as a bit of a role model, actually, as she's been married such a long time with this fantastic family life. I haven't liked to ask about the circumstances, but it looks like she and her DH are bringing up one of their grandchildren, which is just such a wonderful thing to do! Jennifer She (let's call her J) had so many great ideas about how we should do things. One of the best was to use her niece's shop to supply some of the food. (I really like J's niece and her friend and I've been trying to get to know them better, because if we did stay in Ambridge this village I would so like to be friends with them! That's still a work in progress, though, because they're all so busy and of course it's a really busy time of year for everyone, but I won't give up on it!) Back to the party - Rob DH just refused to do anything at all to help and on the night he was so grumpy, which is - well, he gets like that, sometimes, but it's not what he's really like! He can be so kind and loving. He's been mega busy at work, of course, and maybe it was a bad idea to have this party just now when he's tired. I can't bear to go over it now, but let's just say that the party was a disaster and leave it at that! And now everyone in the village knows that things aren't great between DH and me and I just don't know what to do. Should I try to get him to talk about it? I'm a SW and it's in our DNA to talk endlessly about things but he's a typical man, of course, and he seems to hate talking about his feelings.


Cheesemaid Fri 20-Dec-13 06:01:00

LTB. Immediately. You don't deserve him. He should be free to follow his heart which clearly isn't with you!

Cheesemaid's friend Fri 20-Dec-13 06:02:00

Please ignore my friend, she's a bit upset at the moment. She's right though, you should LTB. I don't think this is going to end well at all. Oh, and please back off the niece and her friend! You're trying too hard and it's really getting on my their nerves, I'd imagine.

MrsCampbellBlack Fri 20-Dec-13 08:09:41

Love it! smile

Pseudo - hope DD is better today - I well remember how frightening it is when they're so small and poorly.

GypsyFloss Fri 20-Dec-13 08:23:25

Just listened, cringeing. I'm not sure it's going to go down a DV route but it most definitely is not a happy marriage. I thought we might get a hint that she is pregnant but it seems not.

Whoever suggested upthread that Helen will rekindle her affair and Kirsty will befriend Jess is on the money I reckon.

Best line of the night came from Helen " I'll bet she is a handful to live with" . Oh how I smirked.

How is your baby doing Pseudo?

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Fri 20-Dec-13 08:49:20


Sorry you're going through such a rough time. You say your Dh couldn't wait for you to join him... How long were you living apart? (Perhaps you spent some time with your DF before he died?) Do you think anything changed during the time you were away? Perhaps he has fallen out with someone there and doesn't want to talk about it? Had he mentioned wanting to leave the village before you arrived?

I do think there must be a reason why his attitude and behaviour to you has changed so suddenly.

Could you try talking to one or both of the women you mentioned. (Maybe not the boss's wife.) They obviously know the place well and might be able to offer some insight into what's going on.

Good luck.

ppeatfruit Fri 20-Dec-13 09:05:36

Blimey this has kicked off!! i'm going to listen again to last night's NOW!!

PseudoSanta Fri 20-Dec-13 09:38:47

I'm sorry J4Rob but YABU not to use paragraphs. I really can't read your post. grin

PseudoSanta Fri 20-Dec-13 09:40:04

Thanks Gypsy, dd woke up quite poorly but then was awake for a good hour (she's basically slept since Tuesday). She asleep again now so hopefully she'll keep getting better smile

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Fri 20-Dec-13 09:49:52

I bloody love the Archers and 99% of the time I can see where the SW are taking the story - I guessed straight away that Leonie was pregnant and that Ed was going to shoot someone's dog (they just recycled the David v badger storyline IMO).

BUT I can't guess where they are going with the Rob / Jess storyline. Is he a wife beater? Serial adulterer? Or just a knobhead who's been caught with his pants down. Does Jess have a dark side?

Can we all at least agree that suffocating Hellin with Borchester Blue cheese fumes would be a mercy killing?

ppeatfruit Fri 20-Dec-13 12:08:42

AAh UnexpectedItem Rob hasn't actually been caught yet has he? What'll happen THEN ? That's the question!!!

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Fri 20-Dec-13 12:20:09

I know - ppeatfruit - not caught but he didn't think it through did he? So the options are:

- Everyone finds out - Jess forgives - rumbling feud for the next 1000 years

- No one finds out - Hellin goes quietly mental - social awkwardness for the next 100 years

- Rob internally combusts at the sight of a dressed salmon and shoots everyone

- Jess has an affair with Tom / Brian / Tony so everyone's quits.

GrendelsMum Fri 20-Dec-13 12:22:25

Loving it! Rob is obviously going to become abusive, but where will it go from here? Which existing Ambridge character will step in to support her? Jennifer?

Shame Jess has such an irrititating voice.

ErrolTheDragon Fri 20-Dec-13 12:25:15

Just caught up .... definitely LTB!
Whether he gets physically violent or not he's nasty.

Rob will make another of his trips to Ambridge Organics (ideally they'll find something that needs returning, Jess will want to take it but Rob will suddenly start being helpful); Helen will commiserate about his annoying wife ....

I feel sorry for that salmon - there was a fish that died in vain.

1) Kirsty & Helen need to learn "No is a complete sentence"

2) Did you notice how he criticised Jess for taking advantage of Helen, as if he does care more about H than J?

3) I don't believe he would have behaved like that in front of Jennifer, however pissed off he was with Jess. (But maybe he's going to burn his boats & leave Ambridge altogether, under a cloud - I do love cliches! - & Jess will stay instead.)

So, the usual tosh. But gripping nevertheless!

TallGiraffe Fri 20-Dec-13 14:05:24

As an aside, what on earth is a dressed salmon?! Why would a fish need clothes?

<I'm a lifelong vegetarian>

ErrolTheDragon Fri 20-Dec-13 14:16:21

Jess said - she'd been arranging cucumber slices on it all afternoon. Something like this

OddFodd Fri 20-Dec-13 15:53:09

Told you that salmon was a bad idea grin

TallGiraffe Fri 20-Dec-13 16:00:49

Bleurgh, no wonder no one ate any of it!

It's been a fishy education this week, I'd never heard of a fish kettle either.

ErrolTheDragon Fri 20-Dec-13 16:03:43

Still, at least Jess was able to borrow Jenny's and didn't have to cook the fish in the dishwasher - if she'd done that then I'd have had more sympathy with Rob.

LondonMother Fri 20-Dec-13 16:22:43

Yes, I'd find it hard not to put the dishwasher tablet in with the salmon out of sheer force of habit. I doubt that would do much for the flavour.

ChristmasPartyFRocknRollNerd Fri 20-Dec-13 17:53:34

That was another fab episode, but I would have liked a few more characters there as the whole village was pretty much invited (or at least those who Jenny deems worthy); this whole cast rotation thing is getting worse isn't it.

I reckon that given Helen's comment about Jess being difficult there is the possibiity for this to be a long playing story line: Jess cracks and leaves Rob fairly quickly and Rob moves back in on Helen who falls hook, line and sinker for him again. They could even work in the Jess as a SW angle on that one in that she could be looking out for Henry but Helen and Rob paint her as a vengeful woman scorned etc. This of course should play out over months and months if not years, however my faith in the Archers is so low I can imagine Jess buggering off by Christmas (probably staying at home in Hampshire - which raises the question why the feck is her accent at best 'posh Wirral' at worst 'Scouse stage-school') and Helen being slapped by New Year and Rob run out of Ambridge by mid-January....

Hope Tiny-Pseudo is doing better.

fluffiphlox Fri 20-Dec-13 18:12:10

Ah well, the accents are all over the place on TA. I've commented before on how Ed and Will seem to have different accents despite being brothers who have never lived anywhere other than Ambridge, and how George must be the poshest gamekeeper's son going even though Emmur is his mother.
Does anyone remeber the Hungarian farm hand YEARS ago. The most surprising thing about his accent was that it was genuine though it sounded absurdly overdone. I've listened to this programme for years, mainly because it's on when we're either preparing or eating supper/dinner/tea, ( take your pick depending on whose Archers household you most identify with).

duchesse Fri 20-Dec-13 18:33:23

Don't forget wee Ruaraigh's teflon Irish accent, even after years in Ambridge. It became so embarrassing they had to ship him off to boarding school. grin

duchesse Fri 20-Dec-13 18:34:44

Also, Jazzur- will he ever pick up any Borsetshire intonations or did the ketamine coma impede his ability ever to sound as though he's from anywhere but the Gorbals.

fluffiphlox Fri 20-Dec-13 18:39:34

grin duchesse

Panzee Fri 20-Dec-13 18:46:11

Has there been a single mention of Deck the Halls this year?

PseudoSanta Fri 20-Dec-13 18:57:14

RocknRoll - cast rotation is awful isn't it! Someone over on Mustardland said that the party would happen off air and we'd be treated to an evening with Susan Carter grin

PseudoSanta Fri 20-Dec-13 18:58:24

Baby pseudo seems a bit happier thanks, but has completely lost her voice and still won't breastfeed sad

duchesse Fri 20-Dec-13 19:07:56

How dumb and poisonous is Susan Carter?

GypsyFloss Fri 20-Dec-13 19:13:52

Arghghhhh, my ears are bleeding listening to Helen and Rob.

bumpertobumper Fri 20-Dec-13 19:14:46

they are SO going to carry on the affair!

GypsyFloss Fri 20-Dec-13 19:22:32

He is really quite slimey.

MrsCampbellBlack Fri 20-Dec-13 19:31:42

They are arent' they? And he's going to convince everyone that Jess is horrid and its now wonder he succumbed to Helen.

And oh dear to 'I wish you were dead' - we all know what that means. Bless Eddie though.

Pseudo - do you have to take DD back if she's not feeding?

OddFodd Fri 20-Dec-13 19:33:38

Is she weeing okay pseudo? Keep an eye on her nappies - dehydration is a big issue with bronch.

Hellin n Rob are so going to DTD again sad

GypsyFloss Fri 20-Dec-13 19:36:40

I thought Eddie was fab and if he gets harmed in any Darrell/ cider shed incident ill be very unhappy.

GypsyFloss Fri 20-Dec-13 19:36:57

* I'll

BasketzatDawn Fri 20-Dec-13 20:01:04

Ah but, Jazzer is from Drumchapel not Gorbalsgrin. Not sure how I know this, some interview with the actor a few years ago. The actor being from Corby, not Glasgow, but I think his parents are both, probably Drumchapel. As a Glasgow gal, I'd say Jazzer's accent is pretty overdone at times, sometimes quite cringemaking. DH and I have a grand 'slagging off the woeful Archers accents' session every so often.

Bluestocking Fri 20-Dec-13 20:07:40

You're right, what has happened to Deck the Hall? It's my favourite - Lizzard poncing about like Kirstie Allsopp with a cast of thousands of forelock-tugging serfs.

ErrolTheDragon Fri 20-Dec-13 21:09:18

I was pretty close to the mark on Rob's visit to the shop. <smug>

Classic Susan gossip. Not one but two good shitstirs in the same day!

Oh dear... Eddie was doing such a lovely job, as soon as he mentioned Rosa I was thinking 'don't push it....' - she really is a total ... don't know what to call her, I like bovines and lady dogs much better than her.

Panzee Fri 20-Dec-13 21:35:31

I like to think that Rosa's scooter pushed Darrell over the edge.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Fri 20-Dec-13 21:58:50

You were eerily accurate Errol.

I hope things are improving Pseudo.

PseudoSanta Fri 20-Dec-13 22:42:25

She's been awake tonight and content smile still got no voice.
She drinking expressed milk which is doing her fine but tough work for me. But she managed to breastfeed once tonight so i'm very happy smile

LondonMother Fri 20-Dec-13 22:44:51

Wee lamb, fancy having no voice at that age! I hope you all have a better night tonight and a speedy recovery to top form over the weekend.

MrsCampbellBlack Sat 21-Dec-13 06:44:11

That's good news Pseudo smile

Yes the whole scooter thing was dreadful.

When Susan is on top form its easy to see where Emma gets her personality from.

The cast rotation does make me laugh - loved how at the party Brian was waiting in the car and we didn't hear a word from him all night. I reckon he'll be the one to help Jess. Jess will continue to fixate on the perfect Aldridge marriage, confide in Brian how mean Rob is and hey presto another Brian affair.

Bluestocking Sat 21-Dec-13 09:22:21

Great suggestion, Mrs CB! Brian has been concerned about his, ahem, waning powers, but finds that "comforting Jess" is better than viagra.

GypsyFloss Sat 21-Dec-13 09:42:02

Oh no mind bleach needed for the thought of Brian in his tasselled loafers pursuing Jess.

GypsyFloss Sat 21-Dec-13 09:43:40

Glad to hear that your girl is drinking again Pseudo smile

LondonMother Sat 21-Dec-13 09:53:56

You can see the SWs' point, though. When they have a story that makes extensive use of 'Oh X!' 'Oh Y!' dialogue, deep breathing and snogging noises repeated ad nauseam (literally, amongst the listeners) it must speed the writing up no end.

ppeatfruit Sat 21-Dec-13 09:59:01

WRF to the cast rotation I heard one of the producers say it cost them £300 every time an actor spoke in an ep. I also thought of the effin' payoffs and salaries they pay out of the licence money to the directors who just do very little except fxxx up the beeb. I know where I'd prefer some of the money to be spent fgrin fgrin

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sat 21-Dec-13 10:06:59

Jess won't be having an affair.

I've worked it out - there's no-one for her to have an affair with.

Brian's out. Far too much hard won respect for his "magnificent" wife. Kenton, no. David, burnt. Tom, no. Mikefgrin Robert, ditto. Will, no. Ed, no. Neil - would need a characterotomy. As would Roy. They've done vicars...

Poor Jess is facing a lonely few years until she's well established and they bring in a new character just for her. Unless Helen?

Selks Sat 21-Dec-13 11:28:27

Oh dear. We all know what's going to happen to Darrell now sad.

Selks Sat 21-Dec-13 11:30:25

Ooh, Helen and Jess, Zero? Interesting (and now you mention it rather plausible) plot twist!

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sat 21-Dec-13 12:09:13

fgrin H + J wasn't my idea... Someone suggested it above.

They are dragging out poor Darrell's demise.

Gigondas Sat 21-Dec-13 12:46:51

Yes Darrell demise is overdone with all the talk of you are my blood, no father of mine etc.

He is fucking annoying tho. I know that makes me a bad person for lacking sympathy.

ppeatfruit Sat 21-Dec-13 15:08:05

Someone should explain to Darrell that some teenagers hate their 'normal' parents let alone when there's actually a reason to dislike them.

(oh dear I'm getting too involved I know Iam fgrin)

ErrolTheDragon Sat 21-Dec-13 18:15:12

>Yes the whole scooter thing was dreadful.

I seem to have missed that. confused

Panzee Sat 21-Dec-13 22:00:00

In the midst of Darrell and Elona's money worries, Elona thought that it would be a great idea to get Rosa a scooter on the drip. Part of Darrell's daft decision to become involved in the dog fighting thing was money trouble. But of course it was all Darrell's fault. grin

TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 21-Dec-13 22:09:26

Been awol having babies but still listening on catch up.
Just wanted to say that they have mentioned the gas heater in the cider shed three or four times so that is definitely a red herring BIG CLUE to what lies ahead.

Pseudo hope your LO is on the mend.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sat 21-Dec-13 22:13:58

Hey Olivia! Congratulations. We've missed you.thanks

The consensus I've decided is that at least one of the Grundy brothers will be fatally injured in Darrell's gas canister conflagration. fgrin

Panzee Sat 21-Dec-13 22:14:28

I've just read your birth announcement, congratulations smile

TallGiraffe Sat 21-Dec-13 22:25:12

Aww, congratulations Olivia, they're gorgeous!

PseudoSanta Sat 21-Dec-13 22:25:48

Congratulations Olivia!!!

BasketzatDawn Sat 21-Dec-13 22:30:35

What's the betting too that Rob will behave so badly at his MIL's at Christmas that Jess will tell him to bugger off back to Ambridge/they'll have a row over his grumpy, twuntish behaviour/rudeness to jess and his poor recently widowed MIL, and will go back to A, allegedly to 'work'. So by the end of Boxing Day he and OW will have resumed the affair. <I don't think I can stand it any longer. aaargh> I agree too the Darrell story cannot be over, something will happen with the gas heater. Not sure what though, but ti will have to be dramatic. BTW I think now it's Rosa I hate most of all the characters ..... horrid voice, nasty manner.

Congrats to Olivia and family on the births. Hope you aren't too exhausted. I love both names. Very much. And I hope PseudoBabe is doing better tonight.

StayAwayFromDeliriumDive Sat 21-Dec-13 23:04:40

Surely if Hellin was pregnant we would have known about it by now - very disappointing - I was very much looking forward to Pat and Tony's reaction.

Congratulations Olivia.

Panzee Sat 21-Dec-13 23:19:59

If Helen and Rob do start up again then there's ample opportunity for that pregnancy to appear. smile

ErrolTheDragon Sat 21-Dec-13 23:31:55

Congratulations Olivia - wow, good weight for twins, over 13lb in all! <awe>

Zero, I don't believe the SWs would fatally injure will or ed - they've surely set them up for grudges and ructions for decades.

duchesse Sat 21-Dec-13 23:53:36

Absolutely, those are fantastic weights, OliviaMumsnet! And at 37 weeks too. Congratulations and hope you get at least some sleep...

WhatSheSaid Sun 22-Dec-13 00:57:26

Congrats Olivia, great weights and great names. Glad to see minor incidences like giving birth to twins has not interfered with the all-important business of keeping up with matters in Ambridge grin

WillieWagglingRoundTheXmasTree Sun 22-Dec-13 06:27:31

Congratulations Olivia!

2 things:

1. Jenny's "just a tiny suggestion" sounded EXACTLY like my dp's mum...

2. Would Darrell having an accident on the grundy property be a sort of mirror to the Joe/grey gables incident?

PseudoSanta Sun 22-Dec-13 07:23:55

Hi all, BabyPseudo is much brighter, still with a horrid cough but actually alert and interacting. Thank you all for your thoughts flowers

StayAwayFromDeliriumDive Sun 22-Dec-13 07:41:58

But a Christmas announcement would have been perfect!

And why was Jenny being so helpful to Jess - totally out of character?

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 22-Dec-13 07:47:38

That's wonderful Pseudo

Is she telling you she wants to listen to the omnibus to catch up on any she's missed?

PseudoSanta Sun 22-Dec-13 07:52:07

I think she'd definitely want to hear the party prep and actual party episodes grin

LondonMother Sun 22-Dec-13 08:20:00

Delighted to hear the good news from Pseudo and Olivia!

I suppose it's too much to hope that on Christmas Day we hear Leonie telling James she's pregnant, Helen telling Rob ditto, Jess telling Rob ditto...

GypsyFloss Sun 22-Dec-13 09:22:56

Congratulations Olivia smile

Oh I would love multiple pregnancy announcements. I also suspect that Basketzatdawn's storyline could be rather close to the truth.

OddFodd Sun 22-Dec-13 09:32:55

Great news Pseudo thanks - what a relief

Olivia - congratulations and welcome back to the bosom of the Archers smile

I'm going to have to listen to the Omnibus to hear the story arc (or I'm an addict - you choose)

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 22-Dec-13 10:33:58

Oh! Henry and Keira "like an old married couple"...

Nice to know what they're planning for the future.fgrin

GypsyFloss Sun 22-Dec-13 11:02:12

I'm listening to the omnibus.

I am very concerned for Ed. I worry that he is going to be badly injured in the gas canister explosion.

Rob and Jess are as bad as each other.

Jill's girlish giggle is getting worse.

HumphreyCobbler Sun 22-Dec-13 11:14:15

Just listened to the party episode. He was sooo vile, it made me rather stressed.

And now Hellin is being taken in by the evil bastard.

ppeatfruit Sun 22-Dec-13 11:16:11

Can I add my felicitations Olivia 2 lovely names and weights!! I bet you're glad they're out though!!

Nah the conflagration story will be low key; darrell will put it out and will realise he actually needs to 'pull himself together' at last,end of!!

On a serious note, may I point out that emotional abuse is DV. I hope it doesn't get physical, to reinforce this point.

On a frivolous (but serious) note, I commended thursday's epi on the Emtional Abuse support thread in Relationships.

Cracking stuff, I thought smile who was the SW?, I managed not to catch that info.

curlew Sun 22-Dec-13 12:15:50

I heard and have forgotten the SW's name, but it wasn't a British sounding name. I remember thinking that they must either be several generations English or the most amazing observer of people to be able to get that typically English social incompetence so right.......

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 22-Dec-13 12:42:39

fgrin Don't think it takes several generations curlew.....

curlew Sun 22-Dec-13 12:46:00

Don' forget the first generation is spent thinking "bloody hell, they can't really be like that can they?"

ppeatfruit Sun 22-Dec-13 13:47:01

Blimey curlew I don't reckon social incompetence is confined to England is it? I say; remembering a peculiarly awkward 'welcome' party to our Fr. village (one half of the village didn't (and doesn't) speak to the other) so they were arranged either side of our empty salon NOT SPEAKING!!!

curlew Sun 22-Dec-13 13:49:11

No- but I think there is a particular English sort. That's what I meant!

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 22-Dec-13 14:21:32

curlew by "first" generation do you mean "first generation born in the UK?" (Rather than the generation that emigrated from somewhere else.)

(Answer carefully - my Christmas spirit may be at stake...)

LondonMother Sun 22-Dec-13 14:22:44
ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 22-Dec-13 14:31:33


THAT writer?

An actual, proper shit-stirring playwright?


curlew Sun 22-Dec-13 15:08:53

A bit puzzled, Zero. What on earth are you implying?

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 22-Dec-13 15:16:26

Oh sorry - no mystery! I was simply preparing to disagree quite strenuously if you meant that "people born in the UK of immigrant parents" (my understanding of "first generation") would have difficulty understanding / portraying the subtle nuances of English life.

Really quite strenuously.

curlew Sun 22-Dec-13 15:19:54


No, I'm not a racist.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sun 22-Dec-13 15:31:04

Nothing to do with ....that tedious word.

But if people aren't assumed to be able to understand the society they're born into then they are slightly left in limbo.

(The kind of limbo that has people asking them when they might be returning "home" when they go to interviews for professional jobs.)

On this subject I am very quick to take offence - even where none was intended.

But I certainly hope this particular writer (I only know her writing background) will sattc in the right way.

I always thought immigrant parents themselves were 1st generation, & their children would be 2nd, but it depends when & where the children were born. I just came across the phrase 1.5 generation referring to children who immigrated before or during early teens

Interesting...relevant to the Tsarnaev brothers, as elder arrived aged 16 (ish) & didn't properly assimilate, but younger was 8 & he did (well, he did initially sad)

curlew Sun 22-Dec-13 15:48:54

Well it sure as hell sounded like an accusation to me. But hey, ho. Maybe the stuff of another thread.

Can't wait for tonight's episode- and I haven't said that for many months. I do hope it doesn't all trail off to nothing like so many other promising plot lines.

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 22-Dec-13 15:55:07

Anyway, I don't think Helen is pregnant yet after all as she keeps going out for a drink with kirsty.

I wonder if Rob and Jess have a big bust up before they're meant to go to her mums and she storms off without him. Then poor lonesome Rob will bump into poor lonesome Helen . . .

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 22-Dec-13 15:55:53

I reckon we're building up for a fantastic archers christmas Curlew smile

Rob is now running "my wife blames me for everything wrong in her life" with a view to recapturing the lovely Helen. This is a well known script on the Relationships board. It's all the wife's fault the poor MM had to stray and get the cheesy one pregnant this time

GypsyFloss Sun 22-Dec-13 17:27:13

I wonder when it will all kick off grin

Minimammoth Sun 22-Dec-13 17:27:37

Yes yes Mrs CB. Then she comes back unexpectedly and catches Rob and Helen en flagrante, he then murders her. He is definitely murderer material.

ppeatfruit Sun 22-Dec-13 17:41:26

I've got it; Ed. jnr. 'steals' cross puppy and leaves it in shed with Darrell to look after; puppy knocks over heater and runs away; Darrell sozzled and asleep shock OMG.

LondonMother Sun 22-Dec-13 18:27:49

There's never been a murder in TA. [slightly creepy level of excitement building up at that idea, Minimammoth!]

duchesse Sun 22-Dec-13 18:30:39

I can't decide if I'm a 2nd generation or a 1.5, given that I moved to France (from UK) when I was 6, and feel and sound French in France and English in England (and at bad times, French in England and English in France grin ). At 6, I can report, with the family I had, you accept what goes on around you.

I suspect that in a family where the parents are actively struggling to assimilate, the children find it harder as well as they are constantly challenged about any traces of the new country in their behaviour. Although this didn't work with the Algerian immigrants to France in the 50s and the subsequent generations. The 3rd generation are more radicalised than the 2nd. France has a very particular situation I suspect.

Also with those Boston brothers, they grew up in a war zone (probably far too fast sad), which must make their experiences rather different from the average migrant.

duchesse Sun 22-Dec-13 18:31:12

London- what about Paul's death? That was pretty close to being homicide...

MrsCampbellBlack Sun 22-Dec-13 18:35:16

I think the Jess/Rob/Helen triangle will play out for ages - could be the Jennifer/Brian/Siobhan story all over again and that went on for ages.

At least Brian is generally charming though and nice to Jennifer, well you know apart from being a serial adulterer wink

Will is just going to give George a puppy on christmas day and ednemmur will seethe at the unfairness of it all again.

GypsyFloss Sun 22-Dec-13 20:42:38

How about Jess stabs Rob with the carving knife as his emotional DV escalates?

curlew Sun 22-Dec-13 21:29:42

Well, that was disappointing.......Jill didn't even drop the cake. Mind you if I hear Ruth say "puddin' " again there will be a murder.........

GrendelsMum Sun 22-Dec-13 22:43:36

Gosh, I had noticed that certain episodes were well written, but hadn't realised that they were by an actual proper famous playwright and everything. Well done TA

FWIW, in my experience there's a big difference between generation that arrives in theUK (my gran), first generation born here (my mum and uncle) and second generation born here (me). I think that first generation UK citizens can be particularly aware of the things that areBritish,and look with both affection and a degree of detachment at British life.

Bluestocking Mon 23-Dec-13 00:11:19

Puddin', puddin', puddin'. She only said it once! I was more upset by David announcing that he was going to snog his wife. What a dreary episode. I hoped Lizzy might have a flashback to the night that SATTC but no such luck ...

LondonMother Mon 23-Dec-13 08:03:14

Well, yes, it was a bit dull, but I comforted myself by remembering the torrid period when Ruth was dallying with Sam in the cowshed and nearly spent a dirty weekend with him in Oxford, and David was being tempted by Sophie the Scarlet Woman. I can't recall how many others in the family know about any of that. I know Usha knows, but does anybody else?

Bluestocking Mon 23-Dec-13 08:21:02

That's exactly what I was doing, LM! And I bet that's what David and Ruth were thinking about too.

Minimammoth Mon 23-Dec-13 08:33:19

T'was dreary. Rob and Jess will go away for Christmas but only Rob will return. He will have 'left' her, carry on with Hellin, the body will be discovered later......

ErrolTheDragon Mon 23-Dec-13 17:35:15

It was just right - they needed a nice, dull, happy Archers party as counterpoint to poor Jess's disaster.

During the latter, Rob (I think thoughtlessly rather than cunning planningly) said he'd be at the Boxing Day Hunt - which he'll now claim was an unbreakable promise, overriding however long his trip to Hampshire with Jess was suppose to last. So he'll either not go, or return in guise of misunderstood H on xmas day evening and seek solace with Helen.

PseudoSanta Mon 23-Dec-13 18:43:05

Rather than an explosion i'm going for an accidental asphyxiation for poor old Darrell. Caused by running the gas appliance in an unventilated area. It'll be especially sad as he's decided to move forward positively after Eddie's pep talk last night.

GypsyFloss Mon 23-Dec-13 19:15:46

Helen sounds like she is gearing up for a mega meltdown grin

Minimammoth Mon 23-Dec-13 20:26:08

She has form GypsyFloss. Rob will save her.
Darrell is going to be visited by the Angel Gabriel on Christmas Eve and will be transformed into a positive go getter by Boxing Day.

LondonMother Mon 23-Dec-13 21:06:28

Carbon monoxide poisoning? Or, if they really pull their fingers out and do a topical insert tomorrow, the cider shed can be blown away like the house in the Wizard of Oz. Darrell will not have Dorothy's good fortune, however, and we will never hear of him again.

Helen has lost her marbles. Any rational person would have reflected on what happened with Rob before and realised that she had had a lucky escape. She can't wait to get embroiled all over again. It can't end well.

GypsyFloss Mon 23-Dec-13 22:11:23

Pseudo that sounds like a distinct possibility for Darrell's demise and topical too. Mind you, being blown away like poor old Toto is fairly on trend as well smile

I love Helen when she goes off on one. He has got no idea just how bat shit crazy she can be . Good luck to him, he deserves her.

BasketzatDawn Mon 23-Dec-13 22:45:50

A couple of points, then off to bed - busy day today, another tomorrow. Wed will be lovely and relaxing here ....... (I hope).

Decades ago, George Barford shot a poacher. Dead. If I recall it correctly, he was cleared of murder. So not a murder as such, certainly a violent deading though. It may have been the early 70s. I recall my mum getting all excited, I was a child!

I can recall David telling his brother that Ruth had an affair, not sure he gave details or said who with. Kenton, being Kenton, was kind and supportive, IIRC, so no doubt he was thinking thoughts. No idea if he told anyone.

I've been thinking on topical inserts - it's been a while since we've had one, non? There have been one or two events lately, like very big national/international events when we expected one and it didn't happen. Budget cuts at the Beeb? My memory being carp, I can't recall now wot they were. I too like BunnyBoilerHelen when she is in BBmode. What I find irritating is her mother's reaction to whatever she does. And it annoys DH, as he is old enuf to remember when Pat had a Welsh accent. Interesting what we were saying a few days ago about how so many don't lose accents, yet Pat lost hers completely.....

Anyway, off to bed now. Yay! <I love my bed, esp in winter> Hope all are well, and are all being good for Santa coming.

duchesse Mon 23-Dec-13 22:53:00

Do we actually know about that Darryl's due for demolition? Is this some kind of new year disaster insider knowledge? Or are we just going on the NY deaths in the archers over the last few years?

Panzee Mon 23-Dec-13 22:58:00

I think it might be wishful thinking about Darrell's demise. Be nice if he could take Shula with him. grin

duchesse Mon 23-Dec-13 22:59:01

He is bloody annoying. But there would far fewer Archers characters if we bumped off all the annoying ones.

PseudoSanta Mon 23-Dec-13 23:22:02

Duchesse - he wants to die. We're just doing him a kindness smile

LondonMother Tue 24-Dec-13 08:47:47

Last in, first out, as far as I'm concerned, when it comes to deaths of annoying characters. So Darrell is first in line.

Basketz, it wasn't George Barford, it was Tom Forrest, Doris Archer's brother. Tom used to do the intro to the omnibus when I was a child. The poacher he shot in 1957 was Bob Larkin, brother to Ned Larkin and therefore great-uncle to Clarrie. Tom Forrest was cleared of manslaughter.

I've just got Christmas Eve off to a good start by browsing through my trusty copy of The Archers Encyclopaedia and can see no reference to George Barford shooting a poacher, but I wouldn't be surprised if he had. TA does tend to recycle stories, as we all know. fgrin

GypsyFloss Tue 24-Dec-13 09:13:34

grin @ Pseudo.
How's your girl doing now?

ppeatfruit Tue 24-Dec-13 09:29:53

Ooh I remember Uncle Tom doing the sunday intro London it was nice and comforting IIRC.

yes how's the L.O. psuedo? and the newest additions to TA fanclub Olivia?

fgrin Have a lovely Christmas tous le monde fgrin

LondonMother Tue 24-Dec-13 09:37:35

Saddo that I am, it always adds a little extra joy to my Christmas if it falls on a day when the Archers is on at 7.02pm. Dr Who doesn't start till 7.30pm so I should be able to listen while I graze through the leftovers tidy the kitchen.

LondonMother Tue 24-Dec-13 09:39:23

Oh yes, and Merry Christmas, everyone! Is Pseudobaby fully back on form now?

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Tue 24-Dec-13 10:13:31

LM You just sent a shiver through my heart at the dreadful possibility of a TA / Dr Who clash. Tomorrow would not be a good day to be iplaying.

PseudoSanta Tue 24-Dec-13 10:14:12

Thanks for asking, she's still got a cough but is almost back to normal happiness-wise smile

Gigondas Tue 24-Dec-13 10:36:26

That's good to hear pseudo. Also congrats Olivia.

I welcomed batshit crazy Helen back- the bonkers rationale on the ok one calls.

And I would like rid of Darrell .

boobashka Tue 24-Dec-13 15:39:21

Love bunny-boiler Hellin. Bring it on!

Marking my place for Christmas Archers chat.

Merry Chrimbo everyone fsmile

BasketzatDawn Tue 24-Dec-13 18:59:03

Goodness, London, I was impressed by your memory - till I read you have a BIG BOOK!! can't get emoticons to work - is it MN or just me? <sad face>. Funny it happened so long ago (the deading of Ned Larkin, I mean) and I remember it like it was yesterday (and I was born in 1960s, so clearly ddi not follow the original) <very puzzled face>. But I know you are right about it being TF not GB wot dun it. I do now remember too it was a relation of Clarrie's that was shot.

I wish my mum was around to ask whether she thinks TA has got more corny. I suspect it's just me getting to be an 'oldish' gimmer, but who knows. I wonder what she'd make it of it all these days.

Well, I've not wrapped a single pressie as yet! And I am slightly worried about it as I'd like to go back to bed soon. And there's so much stuff ON my bed, from the clearing of the sitting room, and the presents are through there, so ths won't be poss for a few hours. And DH has lit a fire in the sitting room and the boys are about to decorate the tree. So I'll sit here in the warm till after the next Ambridge Chronicles, then go through and get it all sorted out. At least my boys are big - they age from 23 down to 15. I am, like others, wondering what will happen next in TA. Happy Xmas, all. I am now just marking time till the next episode.

BasketzatDawn Tue 24-Dec-13 19:00:37

Hope you all have a cosy festive period too. It's bloody cold here, and very breezy. Thank goodness we have power.

BasketzatDawn Tue 24-Dec-13 19:02:30

grin Oh, it works now. Was maybe just my ' left clicking'. fsad

MrsCampbellBlack Tue 24-Dec-13 19:10:47

emma - you are so going to be on the naughty list with your 'story'!

BasketzatDawn Tue 24-Dec-13 19:22:37

Dear me, is it really going to be 'the best Christmas eva' for little Georgie? TA cannot have another family of orphaned children at this time of year, can they? off to do my Mrs Santa thing now ....

Gigondas Tue 24-Dec-13 19:23:29

Merry Christmas all- not listened yet but sounds like a good one.

curlew Tue 24-Dec-13 19:26:19

Best Christmas ever- well, you can't have too many puppies, I suppose........!

LondonMother Tue 24-Dec-13 21:16:10

Fascinating how Emma decided to combine Will and Ed into one person, so she could get the puppy. I was pleased to hear that there was a puddle later too. Poor, poor Susan. I bet she has cream carpets all through Ambridge View.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Wed 25-Dec-13 00:06:42

Merry Christmas everyone.

(Not long till 7 o"clock.....)

PseudoSanta Wed 25-Dec-13 09:02:37

Merry Christmas Archers buddies fsmile

GypsyFloss Wed 25-Dec-13 09:05:06

Merry Christmas you two. I have waited ages to be able to say that grin

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Wed 25-Dec-13 09:13:42

Merry Christmas all! I'm behind the times - might stick last weekend's omnibus on while cooking later. So you can expect at least one 'oh god Darrell is ANNOYING' post from me today ...

Bluestocking Wed 25-Dec-13 09:23:31

Archers drinking game. One drink for every "hello you two" and a double for every "that was a lovely sermon, Alan".

GypsyFloss Wed 25-Dec-13 09:33:42

Have we got the big proposal to look forward to tonight?

BasketzatDawn Wed 25-Dec-13 14:56:06

Haha, bluestocking. My liver would never hold out with that!

I've just heard the repeat of yesterday's. I should listen twice to each epi as I get so much more out of listening again .....sad

Bluestocking Wed 25-Dec-13 16:55:40

I love listening again too. It's a bit if a guilty pleasure - I put my earbuds in and listen again after lights out! I loved hearing Emma's not-exactly-lying to persuade the man with the pups to let her bring George to choose one.

GypsyFloss Wed 25-Dec-13 19:15:43

Ah, very heart warming and predictable but no deadings.

LondonMother Wed 25-Dec-13 19:21:17

I thought maybe Darrell was on his way back to the cider shed to die, but I may just have imbued too much Christmas spirit.

Is there anyone on earth who would propose in front of his family on Christmas Day? What if she'd said 'Oh... well, actually.... umm... can we talk about this privately, please?'

WhatSheSaid Wed 25-Dec-13 19:23:51

I wondered if Darrell was going back to the shed to commit suicide too. And that's not from imbuing too much booze as it's Boxing Day morning where I am smile

GypsyFloss Wed 25-Dec-13 19:58:03

I wondered that too about Darrell but irritating as he is I don't actually want him to kill himself.

BasketzatDawn Wed 25-Dec-13 20:47:20

I'm with Dazza though - I couldn't have managed any tea or cake either. Surely they can't have another deading in a shed? esp a suicide. I don't want D to commit suicide neither.

Yep, I agree the front of family proposal was ghastly, but at least a bit more private than the village hall panto. Non? Can you imagine Kirsty telling everyone on MN about her engagement? and the responses. Blimey. fsmile

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Wed 25-Dec-13 21:05:11

Just started listening. A passing thought - why have we not seen any repercussions from Lilian's adventures? Surely the first Christmas after a lover's death would have a few effects? And aside from Christmas, why haven't we had any of the complexities of staying together that any couple would surely feel after all that ( ridiculous, over dramatic ) Russian business?

BasketzatDawn Wed 25-Dec-13 21:23:52

Somewhere, if you've just started with TA, then you may not know about the AmbridgeMiracleCure (frm any illness, accident,upset, disaster) Fairy. It's one of the dubious joys of being an Archers fan. Laughing at the fairy, I mean!! I missed most of the Russian fiasco, as was very ill over that time, but I agree it's weird, but then this is the Archers and they don't follow 'normal' rules here. They seldom tie up the ends as we'd expect. Tis still good at mo, though, methinks.

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Wed 25-Dec-13 21:43:56

Hi Basketz, I've been listening since Ruth's affair! (and for all my life, if in-the-background-with-mum counts). I meant, as per my previous post, that I've just started listening to last week's omnibus.
Thanks for the tip though grin

PS. This cider shed is doomed, surely?

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Wed 25-Dec-13 21:54:11

Jennifer is an absolute past-master at running the show, isn't she.
still catching up

BasketzatDawn Wed 25-Dec-13 22:46:32

Alles klar, I see now. I listened with my mum too. I am in a lucky situation in that DH and one son (3 others HATE TA with a passion) listen too, so we can discuss Sls. I don't think my mum had that, no online either of course. Tis fun to discuss on here. My DH was a keen user/contributor of MustardLand. Now he uses the new one /Pete's Place. I posted rarely on ML. In fact so rarely I could never recall my password.

Redcliff Wed 25-Dec-13 22:54:28

I loved the engagement - all very cheesy but loved the way everyone (including me) held their breath until she said yes.

LondonMother Thu 26-Dec-13 09:26:22

I wouldn't be particularly surprised if Darrell is found dead in the shed today. There would be a lot of suspicion about suicide but it could be carbon monoxide poisoning from the heater everyone keeps mentioning. The sort of loose end the SWs love to lob in from time to time.

Basketz, I'm intrigued by your DH's ML ID! I was a regular there too. Any clues?

GypsyFloss Thu 26-Dec-13 16:51:16

CO poisoning is a big topic so would fulfil the public education role.

I was a longtime lurker on the old ML site and have posted a tiny amount on Pete's since the BBC closed. I love reading some of the nicknames used for characters there being used here, it makes me smile to think of all the posters carrying on the Archers love/hate .

boobashka Thu 26-Dec-13 18:01:07

Yes GypseyFloss - I lurked on the ML site from time to time, never posted tho. Seeing some of the old nicknames in use again here brings a smile to my face! HellQueen, Jenny Darling, Brine, Baby Cheesus, can't think of any more at the moment....

Hilarious fsmile

Bluestocking Thu 26-Dec-13 19:04:02

The Dopey Duo, Pipsquawk, Aunty Cardboard, Piggoi, Jeck, Radio Carter, The Sausage Baron, The Big Bapper, The Reverend Bunter, Lyndibotts ..... happy days!

NorthernLebkuchen Thu 26-Dec-13 19:09:32

I can't believe TA was so irresponsible as to use the puppy at christmas storyline. Presumably on the pretence that things are different in the country. The ways thing are going Susan will be demanding they ditch it by next Tuesday.

NorthernLebkuchen Thu 26-Dec-13 19:13:52

Scrub that. Puppy will be dead. Christmas pudding should just about kill a puppy that age shouldn't it?

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Thu 26-Dec-13 19:18:24

Oh they're teasing us. Darrell must be the Froday cliffhanger.

GypsyFloss Thu 26-Dec-13 20:10:00

Yep, dead Darrell for Friday and whiny Rosa will be alternating between moaning that she should have gone to see him and being glad she didn't see him deaded.

The Thin Controller was a fab one for Helen smile

Bluestocking Thu 26-Dec-13 20:12:23

Ooh yes, the Thin Controller! And Roy of the Rotas was a good one.

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 26-Dec-13 20:45:28

Hahaha! Remember when Daniel was known as Fat Dan and Mr Keri got very cross about it?

And the time he went off on one about posters 'traducing the programme he loves' (I paraphrase, but only slightly)?

Such fun fgrin

GypsyFloss Thu 26-Dec-13 21:11:43

Did I read somewhere upthread that Dan was played by Keri's son?

GypsyFloss Thu 26-Dec-13 21:15:35

I though Tiger did well tonight with that drippy waste of space trustafarian James. Prior to the whole Paul nonsense I loved hearing him and Lilian together.

Panzee Thu 26-Dec-13 21:28:44

Matt's back? Oh hurrah!

<heads to iplayer>

LondonMother Thu 26-Dec-13 21:59:52

Dan was played by Keri's son (Dominic Davies) from early childhood on, but he left the cast two or three years ago, I think.

So lovely to hear Matt. We don't hear enough of Matt and Brian.

Re Darrell - they are toying with us. I thought somebody would find his lifeless body tonight, but no.

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Thu 26-Dec-13 22:42:49

Those puppies sound FAR too young - ? (still catching up)

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Thu 26-Dec-13 22:45:50

PS. Linda really wanted children, didn't she? That sheds extra light on her support for Leonie.

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Thu 26-Dec-13 23:04:03

There's been a bit of an expunging of Brenda from history, hasn't there?
And doesn't the Darrell situation just demonstrate the Archers/Grundy contrast - patronising handwringing versus salt-of-the-earth open-hearted generosity?
(still catching up)

Bluestocking Thu 26-Dec-13 23:19:39

I thought Susan's "pashminer" was pure silk? That should wash OK, surely? Silly woman.

MrsCampbellBlack Fri 27-Dec-13 08:27:41

Yes I love Matt too.

Also find the puppy at christmas a very annoying storyline. And where's Will in all this, think I'd have something to say to trigger happy Ed.

Pilcrow Fri 27-Dec-13 10:45:46

Talking of ML nicknames, we'll never have the pleasure of discussing Bapper and Tapper again, or at least not as a couple. 'Kapper' doesn't have quite the same ring to it, somehow fgrin

I still find myself thinking of Hellin as the Cheese Straw, though...

R4 Fri 27-Dec-13 10:57:19

never have the pleasure of discussing Bapper and Tapper again, or at least not as a couple. 'Kapper' doesn't have quite the same ring to it

I'm trying to formulate some his'n'hers name ... something sausage-y ... something along the lines of his-sty and her-sty. Wait, I have it. He's Tom Archer so it's TAsty and Kersty.

ErrolTheDragon Fri 27-Dec-13 15:15:22

>Puppy will be dead. Christmas pudding should just about kill a puppy that age shouldn't it?

Vine fruit is canine Russian Roulette. You should never let dogs have it because sometimes it can carry a deadly (to them) fungal toxin. I expect Holly has got off with a bad tummy. WTF was susan doing leaving her precious 'silk pashminer' where the dog could shit on it though? hmm

I expect Keira will try her with a chocolate orange next. An adult standard dachshund can consume quarter of a milk one unscathed but a pup might need an expensive vets visit which Ed can't afford (though maybe Alistair would pump her out for free since he was the idiot who told them about these pups - you'd have thought a vet might have been a little hmm about it).

ErrolTheDragon Fri 27-Dec-13 15:17:49

>Oh they're teasing us. Darrell must be the Froday cliffhanger.

they even managed to work in that the cider shed doesn't have a chimney...though in this weather it's probably well ventilated. Ah, maybe he'll stuff the new woolly into a hole to stop the draughts...

PseudoSanta Fri 27-Dec-13 17:37:19

Toxic dose of raisins is 3 grams per kilogram of dog - so not much for a tiny puppy. I had my dog's stomach pumped when he ate 1/4 of Christmas cake 2 years ago. But I doubt the SWs have researched this so there won't be any ill effects.

Oh heck, I missed the bit about it not having a chimney - I must say my blood ran cold the other day when they mentioned the gas heater. I've been trying to picture the cider shed though, and I had imagined it as being fairly draughty ... wishful thinking methinks ... oh dear what is this evenings epi going to bring>

cheminotte Fri 27-Dec-13 19:16:33

No... Helen. Don't fall for it!!

Bimblepops Fri 27-Dec-13 19:16:46

Arghhhhhhhhhh, bloody Hellinn and creepy Rob...I'd like the village to discover the affair and go Old Testament on them, stoning them both to death so that we don't ever have to hear them again

NorthernLebkuchen Fri 27-Dec-13 19:17:25

If Helen falls for that load of crap then she's as thick as the cheese she makes. Sickening!

Lynda was very sweet though

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Fri 27-Dec-13 19:21:45

Feel cheated.....

Bimblepops fgrin fgrin !!

northender Fri 27-Dec-13 19:33:17

Hellin didn't cave in as easily as it sounded like she would (when they spoke on the phone). Like your idea bimblepops

GypsyFloss Fri 27-Dec-13 19:55:43

I liked when Rob announced that Jess " is gone" . Made me wonder which patio he had put her under. I wonder whether Helen is actually going to turn him down. Just to spite us grin

Lynda was lovely but Leonie and James make me want to vomit. I really hope they hightail it back to London soon 'cos I'm really not interested in going through them being " a mummy and a daddy " on a daily basis.

BoreOfWhabylon Fri 27-Dec-13 20:34:29

Wonder if Jess knows the marriage is over?

GypsyFloss Fri 27-Dec-13 22:07:52

Indeed. I suspect not.

nennypops Fri 27-Dec-13 23:33:31

I still can't see James and Leonie as parents, they're both so staggeringly selfish and self-centred the poor kid will never survive past infancy.

PrincessFiorimonde Fri 27-Dec-13 23:42:52

Am glad to have found this thread. Came back last week from a month away in Archer-less wilderness. Think I've managed to fill in more gaps by reading this thread, and the end of the last one, than I did by listening to two omnibuses and reading the synopses for the previous fortnight. So - many thanks to all of you!

LondonMother Sat 28-Dec-13 09:10:47

I have high hopes of James and Leonie as parents. I think they could keep AIBU going all on their own as outraged friends, neighbours, colleagues and family members report on their doings. Leonie appears to have a bottomless pit of annual leave/sickness leave from her job now, so just imagine what she'll be like when she's got parental leave to draw on as well.

I do feel cheated that we haven't heard Rob and Jess splitting up on air, but I cling to the slim hope that it hasn't in fact happened yet and he is going to break it to her next week while the microphones are switched on. Will she still take the new job in Borsetshire?

If they do marry, I hope it isn't all sweetness and light from now on. Helen is a lot more interesting to listen to when she's miserable. Her entire family tiptoe around her but will Rob do the same? Judging by how he's been with Jess, I'd say no, but can we rely on the SWs to write it that way? Hmmmm.

Minimammoth Sat 28-Dec-13 09:42:12

Waves to Princess.
I think James is beginning to sound a bit Nigel-ish.
Jess takes up post in Borsetshire, Helliin and Rob doesn't work out and he woos her back a la Paul Hollywood,

Minimammoth Sat 28-Dec-13 09:43:02

Oh and there is another baby for H. They become the new Brine and Jennydarling.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sat 28-Dec-13 09:51:05

Months ago we were all waiting for TA to morph into a TV soap under the new leadership. It hasn't really been apparent - yet.

So I'm warming to the possibility of poor Jess spending New Year under the patio.

It's hard to care much about James and Leonie but the thought of Grandma Lilian is making me very cheerful indeed.

LondonMother Sat 28-Dec-13 10:11:25

Grandma Lilian vs Granny Lynda has definite possibilities, Zero!

ErrolTheDragon Sat 28-Dec-13 10:16:48

Leonie has to have this baby - with James somewhere in the picture - purely for the grannies. Surely it's a narrative certainty?

As is Helen re-starting her affair with Rob, no matter how much Kirsty warns her off.

PrincessFiorimonde Sat 28-Dec-13 11:26:05

<waves back to Mini>

Agree, it does seem unfair (to us) that Jess should just disappear without a word. Also agree it's quite likely she doesn't yet know that she and Rob have split up - perhaps she'll find out by returning to Ambridge and bursting in on Rob and Helen in, umm, full reconciliation mode.

And yes, bring on Grandma Lilian vs Granny Lynda!

GypsyFloss Sat 28-Dec-13 12:03:36

I reckon it'll be Granny Lilian " like the Queen darling" and Grandma Lynda. Or even just plain old Lynda as Leonie tactlessly tells her that only her own mother can be " grandma".

CuttedUpPear Sat 28-Dec-13 18:21:32

I bet Lilian won't like the idea of Granny as a status - it would be her only grandchild, yes?

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sat 28-Dec-13 18:44:59


Tommy Sat 28-Dec-13 18:49:55

I'm sure Jess doesn't know that "they've split up" - looking forward to that one coming home to roost - please let them do it on air!!

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Sat 28-Dec-13 19:00:52

...So far yes.

Lilian could be splendid - imagine the toddler being swept off to the most glamorous watering holes of Felpersham, or receiving a vintage bottle of Joy for her tenth birthday.

And (despite Leonie) James might be rather fun as a father; not perhaps a proper grown up but lots of boats and planes.

So what will they call it? I'm going with Anastasia (old school friend of Leonie's?) or Rupert (James' boss and potential godfather?)

(No suggestion that any such characters exist....)

Bluestocking Sat 28-Dec-13 20:50:38

I do hope James and Leonie will move back to Ambridge so we will have front row seats for their family life. I think they'll both be tremendous Performance Parents - definitely yes to James being a perennial Peter Pan pater, with lots of whipping the PFB into a frenzy just before bedtime. Leonie will be a martyr to Theories - she'll start out as a devotee of Attachment Parenting, with a sudden defection to SWMNBN when she realises that the PFB is completely ruling the roost. And I fancy the idea of them having twins!
Re Rob and the Cheese Straw .... oh dear oh dear. I hope Jess has seen sense, listened to SGB's advice and LTB, and decided to stay at her mum's. I foresee a slowly developing EA relationship between Rob and Hellin, with her becoming more and more obsessed with him and less and less able to see how much damage he is doing.

ErrolTheDragon Sun 29-Dec-13 17:15:36

For the first time ever, I almost liked James when he said his little piece to Leonie.

Bluestocking has it about right, except I'd have thought she'd start off with SWMNBN

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Sun 29-Dec-13 18:19:26

Lilian will be the most glamorous grannie ever. I confidently predict at least one wobble in the next 9 months or so, where she throws a bit of a hissy fit about feeling old and Matt gives her the 'pusscat' treatment to get her smiling again ...

ErrolTheDragon Sun 29-Dec-13 19:48:13

CuttedUp bang on the money about Lillian being iffy about granny status! Lynda is definitely ahead on points in their sparring so far...

GypsyFloss Sun 29-Dec-13 19:51:57

And once again Matt was wonderful. Lynda on the other hand was just irritating.

Bluestocking Sun 29-Dec-13 20:41:00

You could well be right, Errol - Leonie will start with SWMNBN and then do a 180 to Attachment Parenting and Babywearing and start going to Sling Meets. Poor James will just have to follow in her wake and try to keep up with the changes in philosophy!
I loved the little moment between Lillian and Lynda right at the end - let's hope they forge a wonderful co-grandmaternal relationship. Just think what the combined powers of Pusscat and Lyndibotts could achieve.

Tommy Sun 29-Dec-13 22:33:51

I thought Linda was hideous this evening - Lil will be a fab granny!! grin

boobashka Mon 30-Dec-13 17:15:12

Loved the latest Linda-ism - "We now know our way round a breast pump" to Lil's horror! grin

Bluestocking Mon 30-Dec-13 18:09:33

Yes, boobashka, "we know our way round a breast pump" was a fantastic line - I could feel Lillian's hackles rising!

Gigondas Mon 30-Dec-13 18:11:12

I could picture Lillian's look of horror at that line.

TallGiraffe Mon 30-Dec-13 18:26:21

I thought that was a brilliant line! Not least because I can't ever imagine discussing my breast pump with anyone else!

LondonMother Mon 30-Dec-13 19:37:11

From the Continuity Announcer's little teaser at the end of tonight's episode, I have a nasty feeling we should brace ourselves for a rather saccharine end to 2013. Boo hiss.

Bluestocking Mon 30-Dec-13 20:02:04

What did the CA say, LondonMother? I turned the radio off too quickly, clearly!

weebarra Mon 30-Dec-13 20:39:11

Not posted on this thread v
before as don't always get to listen to TA - managed to catch the omnibus in the car much to the DCs disgust.
Does anyone think Leonie might not be the only one who is pregnant? Hellin got out of taking a drink from Tom by doing gushing congratulations...

LondonMother Mon 30-Dec-13 20:40:15

Oh dear, I've blanked it out now but I think it was something along the lines of an unexpected arrival in the village or at The Bull tomorrow night. Putting 2 and 2 together and making 52, I think there will be a lot of elaborate manoeuvring to get Darrell and Rosa there together at midnight and they will have some sort of rapprochement.

I was much more interested in Peggy's reminiscences. I assume she was talking about Jack Archer being furious with Jennifer when she was pregnant with Adam.

ZeroSomeFestiveGameThingy Tue 31-Dec-13 09:53:52

I shall be hmm if it's only that LM.

I'm rather hoping for Brenda, Debbie with a +1, Kate.... Peter, with family.... Or even Jess!

But I'm so disappointed at the eventlessness of Christmas that it's hard to muster any enthusiasm at all.

curlew Tue 31-Dec-13 10:20:36

Back to the work experience script writer last night I see.........

Minimammoth Tue 31-Dec-13 10:40:18

grinat work experience script writer.
Perhaps all the child bearing age women could be pregnant together. Sort of Alien invasion ish < over active imagination due to rich Christmas food>

Bluestocking Tue 31-Dec-13 10:52:25

Great idea, Minimammoth! Like that book The Midwich Cuckoos - all the women could give birth to Ambridge Cuckoos who speak with unnatural stage school voices and then hatch a plot to SATTC.

katatonic Tue 31-Dec-13 11:23:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.