Right. I have two practical Archers questions that are really bothering me...

(80 Posts)
seeker Mon 27-May-13 08:12:56

1. Why do Pat and Helen never do the milking at Bridge Farm? Never? Even when it was a real problem after Tony's heart attack?

2. How on earth can Hayley and Mike's egg business be worth £4000? What is Josh actually buying?

CuttedUpPear Mon 27-May-13 08:13:38

Good Q's.


seeker Mon 27-May-13 08:19:40

Because I hate Tom with a passion, but I just can't understand why he never said to his mother "You love those bloody cows so much, you dairy farmer to your core woman you, so you get up at 5.00 and milk them then"

lucjam Mon 27-May-13 22:20:42

You certainly have a point Seeker, why didn't/do Helen and Pat milk the cows. Also where are Amy and Usher (how do you spell it? Ooosher like Ooglies?) they've not been on for ages...and also is Pavel coming back for the strawberry picking (with an STI to tell Adam about)? Which reminds me where are Adam and Ian?

Ponders Mon 27-May-13 22:23:08

Usha, lucjam grin

continuity was never one of the SWs' strong points. & as for unanswered questions...

lucjam Mon 27-May-13 22:48:07

ahhh yeah Usha, doh!

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 27-May-13 22:52:13

1 Helen's probably too fragile and Pat's too lazy

2 Feck knows how they've valued it?
Free range eggs are what £3.20 a dzn? But how much are they paying Phoebe for labour?

snigger Mon 27-May-13 23:03:44

Hey, in a world where Pip gets off scot-free with her feckless work-dodging tractor-bashing ways, I'm happy to accept an ower pricey egg in the mix.


seeker Mon 27-May-13 23:12:29

Actually, Pat never weeds, or trims leeks or anything. All she does is make soup and supervise Clarrie and Susan in the dairy. What does she actually do?

I've never really though about this before. She doesn't even visit Jack or look after the obnoxious Henry.

snice Mon 27-May-13 23:18:38

And where is whatshername who used to be with Kenton?

snice Mon 27-May-13 23:19:21

Kathy! It's just come to me

Startail Mon 27-May-13 23:24:12

I live pretty close to Archers land and free range eggs are £1.20-1.80 at the farm gate. No good valuing the business at London prices

seeker Mon 27-May-13 23:25:07

Kathy! I had forgetten her. The odious whatshisname's mother! Who went off to train to be a forester. Why isn't she rallying round Pat in her hour of need?

Maybe the hens lay golden eggs?

snigger Mon 27-May-13 23:26:13

I thought Jack was dead? Don't tell me I'm losing the thread, it's only the Archers and the Afternoon Play that keep me anchored !

snice Mon 27-May-13 23:30:15

Yes surely Kathy is Pat 's best friend in the village but she doesn't appear to have spoken to her about as ny of her recent t worries

See also Ruth/usha

snice Mon 27-May-13 23:32:20

Another thing that I can't remember ever being resolved is Oliver a nd Caroline s great fostering plans-what happened there?

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops Mon 27-May-13 23:40:03

Jack isn't dead, he's still in the home...isn't he doubting myself now, although the actor who plays him died a few days ago. We haven't heard him for ages, just that Peggy visits him.

lottiegarbanzo Mon 27-May-13 23:55:00

I guess Helen and Pat are not up to date on milking practice, so probably can't. Pat runs the dairy. Helen runs the shop, which is more obviously a full time job, though I think the dairy is too really.

Businesses are valued on profitability, not just assets, unless they're bankrupt. There must be figures for turnover and profit, so they can say it will generate a certain amount over five or ten years. If I was buying a business I'd want to know how long until I expected to make my money back and go into profit (like on Dragons' Den!).

seeker Tue 28-May-13 08:05:51

And Pat and Helen can't learn something Eddie can do???grin

lottiegarbanzo Tue 28-May-13 08:52:57

Helen does have Henry to deal with, probably some early mornings of her own. I thought there might be certificates you have to keep up to date for milking but, good point, it can't be that skilled or complicated!

CuttedUpPear Tue 28-May-13 09:15:30

Yes Kathy spent many hours moping at Pat's kitchen table and had virtually moved in (much to Tony's chagrin) when she was having troubles.
What kind of fair weather friend is she?

TOTALLY agree about Pat not lifting a finger around the farm.

lottiegarbanzo Tue 28-May-13 10:12:34

Doesn't Pat put all the veg boxes together though? That's one of her things. She was defending their seasonality recently after Tom tried to make them more 'interesting'.

seeker Tue 28-May-13 10:14:35

Does she? I thought Tom did that.

lottiegarbanzo Tue 28-May-13 10:17:13

I'm sure she used to (and may have trimmed and prepared veg too) but it may be something Tom and Helen have taken over. It was certainly her idea and enough of her thing that she just said no to Tom outright.

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 28-May-13 11:26:01

Startail is that not for 6 though?!?

Lots of fair weather friends in ambridge
It's to do with the unique way the BBC is funded and that they only pay x actors a month

lottiegarbanzo Tue 28-May-13 11:55:30

Ooh, insight Olivia. I thought they must pay them all retainer, then piece-work. I'd assumed the rotation between characters was just a natural consequence of focusing on a few story lines at a time. You mean Usha is 'resting'? Wonders if there is a drop-in job club for resting Ambridge actors...

Ponders Tue 28-May-13 12:08:02

they mostly do a lot of other work - eg Ruth & David do a lot of voice-overs (plus he's an Earl grin), you sometimes hear Usha & Oliver & Jolene on other R4 progs, Brian gets masses of TV/radio work & appears on panel shows, & as for Debbie & Kate...!

Ponders Tue 28-May-13 12:08:29

oh, & the original Emma is a well-established film actor now

Ponders Tue 28-May-13 12:13:10

'Charlotte Connor, when not playing Susan Carter (credited as Charlotte Martin), works full-time as a senior research psychologist at the Birmingham and Solihull Mental Health Foundation; her office is a short walk from BBC Birmingham thus she is able to fit her work around recordings' (from wiki)


lottiegarbanzo Tue 28-May-13 12:43:16

Oh yes and David is/was the voice of 'mind the gap' on the London underground. Ruth does radio documentaries and interviews, I know about Debbie, what does Kate do?

Still like the idea of them all sitting around at job club, drinking cheap coffee and circling ads in the acting press.

Ponders Tue 28-May-13 13:27:26

Kate was me Julie in the first Ali G film. that's probably her biggest role ever though - in 2002 - oh dear!

Startail Tue 28-May-13 13:37:03

Nope, and the gentleman with the hens, chases me with change if I try to give him a pound for six eggs.

Ponders Tue 28-May-13 13:40:42

Do they have 100s of hens & a shop contract???

seeker Tue 28-May-13 15:37:23

Mike sells some eggs on the milk round. I think they supply the community shop and Helen's shop as well. Don't know where else they sell- it can't be a massive business surely as Hayley works full time at Lower Loxley and she's got the two girls.

piprabbit Tue 28-May-13 15:40:32

There was mention of them supplying eggs to a hotel (Grey Gables?) during all the exciting business negotiations.

LondonMother Tue 28-May-13 15:48:06

I think Pat spends six hours a day meticulously scrubbing up before she can enter the dairy. (It was Clarrie's failure to do this that led to the E Coli disaster.) Hence her inability to find time to do the milking.

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 28-May-13 16:20:29

Kate was also on tv in the upper hand a gazillionaire years ago

Interesting on egg prices (am not in London, based on free range hobbyist prices at private houses in herts )

CuttedUpPear Tue 28-May-13 16:55:35

Ponders, Susan is a "senior research psychologist" in RL???

Wonders will never cease!

R4 Tue 28-May-13 17:59:51

If your neighbours are charging £3.20 for a dozen eggs then I suggest that you are being skanked, Olivia. I can do you £2.70, that's a bargainatious 50p cheaper hides Aldi receipt for 95p a box.
Mind you it would be £3.20 for LARGE free-range eggs hides another Aldi receipt for a whopping £1 a box.

seeker Tue 28-May-13 18:05:15

Oh, bloody hell- I've just noticed the ghastly misplaced apostrophe in my thread title - as one Archers Addict to another, Olivia...................

Ambridge Tue 28-May-13 19:42:20

I'm sure I heard Kenton in the Sat and/or Sun Afternoon Play on R4, 'The Mask of Dimitrios', playing a Greek journo with a very fruity accent grin

And Brendurr has got a gig as the voice of L'Oreal. I keep hearing her on those ads for hair-dye. She doesn't sound quite so Mummerzet though.

Cutted and Ponders, I too am shockshockshock beyond belief at the revelation that Susan 'Radio' Carter is a senior research psychologist...

pegwin Wed 29-May-13 12:49:02

OK. I have another questions- what was the chocolate bar that Rhys mentioned that is so childish that Kenton cannot possibly be seen eating it in the street???

Pat also moans a lot, wrings her hands a fair bit and what exactly happened to that grandson she was so hell bent on seeing? been there moaned about that?
last time Kathy was on she was still moaning about Jamie's education but grudgingly admitting that he is working quite hard at the chainsaw thing.

theme of the week this week seems to be silage though. how many times can they mention silage? presumably enough to remind us that this is originally an agricultural info broadcast so, farmers, if you are listening, time to make your silage. silly ole faarmers if it wornt for the aaarchers they 'ud never remember.

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 29-May-13 13:48:02

wink Seeker

Pegwin - isn't it just that Jill would think it rude to eat in the street?

I saw Kenton on the stage - he was v good and luckily doing a yank accent so not too distracting

And i have heard Brenda on things - I think Kirsty did a travel/car insurance one too.

shock at Farm shop scams!

I am VERY grateful not to have heard Kathy moaning lately.

Could have done without the whole single wicket.

And how does Clarrie suddenly know so much about cricket - she is usually inside martyring herself doing the teas, isn't she?!

lottiegarbanzo Wed 29-May-13 14:05:40

Clarrie won the single wicket a few years ago smile

I missed the chocolate bar too (it can't be anything branded though, so maybe we didn't hear the name?). It was definitely its childish nature that was the initial cause of embarrassment. Jill then told him not to eat on the street too.

pegwin Wed 29-May-13 14:07:17

they did mentions skittles...but that was about the skittles team not being bowled over...did you see what they did there? grin

seeker Wed 29-May-13 15:36:08

Olivia- thank you!

LondonMother Wed 29-May-13 15:44:45

Richard Attlee who plays Kenton is the grandson of Prime Minister Clement Attlee. <Archers trivia geek>

PareyMortas Wed 29-May-13 15:53:00

I reckon the chocolate bar was a curly wurly.

Debbie is Tamsin Greg.

I too noticed the frequent mentions of silage, i think something's up.

Am still adjusting to the new Clarrie, she's not bedded in yet.

PareyMortas Wed 29-May-13 15:53:35

Oh and wasn't David Archer in the Politicians Wife t'other day?

SimoneDeBeaver Wed 29-May-13 16:15:46

Debbie is Tamsin Greig! <falls over>


Abra1d Wed 29-May-13 16:19:24

Yes that was David Archer, PareyMortas. Looking a bit old these days.

seeker Wed 29-May-13 19:13:28

Bloody hell, Paul's going to top Matt, isn't he? Didn't think of that!

Ponders Wed 29-May-13 20:25:58

new Clarrie is actually the original (I think) Clarrie!


Clarrie 1 (ie this one) was sacked for taking time off to attend another cast member's funeral

Clarrie 2 committed suicide sad

Clarrie 3 (whose voice also took some getting used to after Clarrie 2) recently retired

then Clarrie 1 came back as Clarrie 4

we will get used to her soon enough!

Ponders Wed 29-May-13 20:28:30

I love falling over Debbie in things like Black Books & Episodes!

& it's great that she still manages to make time for an occasional Archers appearance smile

PareyMortas Wed 29-May-13 21:25:01

Ponders - why didn't I know that I've been listening daily all my life and thought there was just one Clarrie until recently.

Ponders Wed 29-May-13 21:28:42

I've been listening (as an adult) for 30 years near enough, Parey - plus used to subscribe to Mustardland until it died this year - the Clarrie inf just kind of filtered through smile

lottiegarbanzo Wed 29-May-13 21:32:22

I remember the transition from Clarrie 2 to 3, 3 had a much harsher voice and I didn't really accept her for years!

Didn't know about Clarrie 1/4.

Mirage Wed 29-May-13 21:44:32

I can confirm that you don't need any kind of certificate to milk cows [blows dust off Guides Dairymaid badge].

grants1000 Thu 30-May-13 12:53:14

Eddie is Tesco vege as club card points voice advert at the moment, I gleefully shot up from e sofa saying this, dh had no idea who u was excited about!

Ponders Thu 30-May-13 13:29:13

Just noticed that Olivia has had seeker's misplaced apostrophe removed

How nice to have friends in high places wink

Abra1d Thu 30-May-13 15:44:06

Seeker must be sending in chocolate or gin or something.

GrendelsMum Thu 30-May-13 22:10:15

I thought it was a Freddo Frog.

HumphreyCobbler Thu 30-May-13 22:17:24

'Charlotte Connor, when not playing Susan Carter (credited as Charlotte Martin), works full-time as a senior research psychologist at the Birmingham and Solihull Mental Health Foundation; her office is a short walk from BBC Birmingham thus she is able to fit her work around recordings' (from wiki)

shock indeed Ponders.

I am strangely amazed by this, though WHY I don't know. It's just that Susan sounds so convincingly stupid. She is my favourite character.

seeker Thu 30-May-13 23:25:34

A small cone of ludicrously posh ice cream and they are mine to command........

seeker Thu 30-May-13 23:27:08

And maybe a glass or two of Lower Loxley Chardonnay......

savoirfaire Thu 30-May-13 23:42:23

Possibly my favourite MN thread ever.

TallGiraffe Fri 31-May-13 07:36:35

What I don't get about the chickens is that Josh said he wanted to put the huts on wheels so they could be labelled as grass fed. Which means they aren't free range shock So who buys non-free-range eggs at a farmers' market?!

seeker Fri 31-May-13 07:49:51

Must have missed that!

Curiouser and curiouser.....

pegwin Fri 31-May-13 07:56:30

i think they are free range but he is suggesting they do the rotating pastures thing like the brookfield cows.

you can have free range chicken s that are still fed grain, no?

TallGiraffe Fri 31-May-13 08:54:16

Well free range is not always what you think it is sad

Near us there is a barn that houses 15,000 chickens whose eggs are sold under a certain cheery chicken brand in the supermarket. They do open the doors every day so they can technically wander outside. But in reality only 5/6 are ever visible in the field. Chickens like to stay in a group, so stay inside even if they'd be happier outside. That's why eggs that you buy from farm gates taste so much better as they are genuinely free to roam <looks at ours sunbathing right now>

lottiegarbanzo Fri 31-May-13 08:58:17

That's why I buy organic eggs - much higher standards, smaller groups, so hens do go outside and scratch about. I pay £2 for half a dozen at the supermarket, at the bottom end of the organic price range. I think Josh is onto something with his speciality grass fed hens!

Abra1d Fri 31-May-13 16:08:00

Susan is so reliably awful that I love her too. I really enjoy Jennifer/Susan interactions as you know the crashing snobbery and social climbing of the respective characters will clash. Though quite why Jennifer is so hoity-toity defeats me. She was a bar-maid's daughter. Her parents ran the Bull and her father was an alcoholic. (I do like Peggy, though.) You'd think Jennifer was landed gentry sometimes.

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 31-May-13 18:11:43

SORRY what happened with Tom and a mugging in Felpersham pls?

TallGiraffe Fri 31-May-13 18:23:39

Matt sent a heavy to send a message to Paul. Tom intervened and the message wasn't fully delivered! Paul told Tom it was an attempted mugging.

snice Fri 31-May-13 18:27:11

While theres lots of Archers listeners here can I just ask: am I missing out on a lot by not listening to Ambridge Extra when its on? Because I wonder sometimes if stories get continued there and I'm losing bits of storylines.

<please say no, can't keep up with another programme>

StrangeGlue Fri 31-May-13 18:27:11

Went to a talk by Michael Fenton Stevens (Paul) and he said Nigel was killed off because the actor who played him he complained too much about not getting enough air time!

They don't get a retainer they just get paid for what they.

He also gave a spoiler about what happens with the Paul character but I won't share that on case he was fibbing/ it upsets people to know what's going to happen.

OliviaMMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 31-May-13 18:27:22


Matt sent a heavy to send a message to Paul. Tom intervened and the message wasn't fully delivered! Paul told Tom it was an attempted mugging.

What?! when was this and how did I miss it? And how do Paul and Tom even know each toerhe/!?

TallGiraffe Fri 31-May-13 18:52:40

Wednesday, maybe, I'm a bit out of sync with podcasts. They don't know each other, Tom was going to a very important sausage meeting (or something)!

savoirfaire Fri 31-May-13 23:23:51

Tom just happened upon the mugging randomly. Doesn't know Paul. I think it was Wednesday.

ExcuseTypos Fri 31-May-13 23:28:33

I've missed it all this week.

Cannot wait for the catch up on Sunday. Stupidly excited!!

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