Please slap me - I feel sorry for Tom

(65 Posts)
DuffyMoon Sun 14-Apr-13 20:08:46

I was shouting at the radio a few weeks ago when it was sausage this, ready meal that...but now I feel sorry for him - AIBU ?

ArtexMonkey Sun 14-Apr-13 20:21:36

Yes, yabvu. He knows he doesn't make Brenda happy, and she's flat out told him they want different things. If he'd been a bit more self sufficient and supportive of her when she had that job in Leicester was it? instead of moaning and groaning and requiring her to spend her weekends stocking the freezer for his teas for the week, she wouldn't have packed it in and be stuck in Amside misery.

MarianForrester Sun 14-Apr-13 22:07:17

Yes, you are! Tugging at your heart strings with his meat products, where will end? grin

TreeLuLa Sun 14-Apr-13 22:08:19

Eugh. He is such a boring drip.

YABu grin

DuffyMoon Mon 15-Apr-13 07:33:08

he just sounded so sad sobbing on his mothers shoulder... <<hits self round head>>

PseudoBadger Mon 15-Apr-13 07:36:30

No one has ever had the balls to ditch him before. That's what has shaken him. It's not about Brenda.

Soupa Mon 15-Apr-13 07:38:27

He is awful but yeah I feel for him too. Am very changeable

OnTheNingNangNong Mon 15-Apr-13 07:40:40

I feel sorry for him, but I feel for Brenda more. I really don't know how she put up with his selfishness for so long.

Gigondas Mon 15-Apr-13 07:48:53

I do feel sorry for him but why Brenda tolerated him so long is beyond me. When she was being so lovely when Vicky was worried about the baby I remembered how nice she was ( and her mum was).

IMO the best of pats kids went under a tractor as Both Helen and Tom are resistable.

outtolunchagain Mon 15-Apr-13 07:51:47

I feel sorry for him too , I posted on the other thread . I can't see what is wrong with a young man being focused on his career( but then I live with a man who has always been like that!).

That farm has to support 4 people as none of them , apart from Tom , has any other source of income. Two are nearing retirement age and one is a single parent . Tom is the only one really going full pelt , he has a lot of responsibility and it seems that no one seems to care that much about him.

Pat constantly exhorts him to work harder in the farm , Brenda takes a low paid job so she doesn't have to commute ( admit he could have been more supportive ) and then moans because he is work obsessed,all the young farmers I know of that age are much more like Tom, they have to be , it's the only way to make a living.

lottiegarbanzo Mon 15-Apr-13 07:58:44

He has been ditched before - he was traumatised by Tamsin the supermarket buyer, who outclassed him entirely in Machiavellian whiles. That's partly why Brenda's girl-next-door qualities appealed and probably why he couldn't compute the idea of her as a driven career-woman.

PseudoBadger Mon 15-Apr-13 07:59:36

Ah yes Tamsin!

lottiegarbanzo Mon 15-Apr-13 08:03:32

The problem wasn't working hard per se, it was being blinkered and lacking empathy. It's possible to work long hours and care about your GF's day, how she feels and take some interest in what she wants from life, rather than assuming her aspirations match yours. It's not working on the sausages that people object to, it's thinking and talking about nothing else.

R4 Mon 15-Apr-13 08:49:58

YABU. He has reaped what he has sowed. (d'ya like the farming metaphorgrin

He is 32 years old. If he really was the hot-shot businessman he thinks he is then he would be on his way by now. He is small-time, on a shoe-string with delusions of grandeur. I think that the ready-meals sum him up: he thinks that they are 'something' because he sticks the word gourmet in front of the name whereas they are nothing more fancy than the meatballs or chili that you or I whip up at home.
He should either be a charisma-free workaholic who makes oodles of money or he should be an empathetic family man who brings in his fair share to his two-wage household. At the moment, he has the downside of both and none of the upsides.
I don't see where we are getting the idea that Tom is responsible for Bridge Farm's finances. I don't see Brine expecting his brood to support him; if anything, it's the other way round. Moike isn't expecting Roy or Brenda to keep him. And so on and so on - I don't see any other family expecting the next generation to subsidise them and their lifestyle choices.
If Tom really was as ambitious as he says then he would have left Ambridge to become a middle manager for Duchy Originals / the Co-op / Rachel's Organics by now. You would think that he would look at his cousin James and think 'if that idiot can make money then so can I'.

I think the ultimate low point was when he had to force himself to remember to 'organise' some spontaneous fun.

outtolunchagain Mon 15-Apr-13 15:00:46

It's not Tom that has to support them its the farm that has to. If the farm doesn't make money what are they all going to live on ? Fresh air.

And that is exactly Adam's gripe , he is working in the farm but most of the profit still goes to Brian. At least Brian has an income from Borchester Land and I expect he has paid into a pension ,
Tony and Pat are dependent on the farm making sufficient profit to be able to pay salaries to both of them and to pay Tom and Helen,and still have money over to invest and very few farms of that size are able to do that .

Spuderoonerism Mon 15-Apr-13 18:03:15

Long term the future of the farm is an interesting story and kind of a throwback to their original remit of informing about agricultural issues. Farms across the country face this situation every day - dilution of the profit per person with each generation. Brian's farm is more typical of farms I know where at least some of the kids have gone off to do their own thing/make their own careers but Pat and Tony are in a similar position to many where the farm will have to support more people in a few years time, possibly with fewer people working from the family.

To be honest I struggle to see how they make it support all of them in anycase - how much cheese, ice-cream and veg can you sell - they all seem like the little sidelines - presumably the milk was the main source of income and Tom has been living off the sausage profits for the last few years? I agree though that 'gourmet' ready meals don't really sound like a money-spinner.

Neither Tom nor Brenda are particularly likeable in my view. Now they get to double the number of people they make miserable! Am not sure how impressed Roy will be at having Brenda move in either...

ppeatfruit Mon 15-Apr-13 21:21:48

More pain and heartache; stupid Lil with creep Paul emotionally blackmailing her and boring Tom and Brenda miserably breaking up Oh dear!

Also talking about agricultural issues spuderoonerism isn't the whole idea of a mixed organic farm reliant on the cows' dung? for the arable I mean.

lalalonglegs Mon 15-Apr-13 22:31:54

So who are Tom and Brenda going to pair off with (because we know that no one is allowed to stay single in Ambridge)? I think Tom has run out of options - he's bored the tits off every woman he's not related to (his sister and mother seem weirdly indulgent of his pork products monomania) and there's no one left for Brenda unless the scriptwriters throw her a comedy pairing with Jazzer.

lottiegarbanzo Mon 15-Apr-13 23:47:10

Good question. Well, I think (and hope) that Ifty and Elizabeth have a long way to run but he is token single man at the mo, likes sensible businesswomen and is apparently not fussed about having children (as Elizabeth wont be having more).

Then there's Mr 'I do have a wife, i do, it's just she's invisible' Rob of the mega dairy, who everyone at Bridge Farm is already duty bound to despise, so ongoing opportunities for tension there.

Women for Tom though? Hmm.

PseudoBadger Tue 16-Apr-13 07:01:31

I love how adamant racist Shula is that Lizzie won't be interested in Ifty. She hasn't got a clue.

PseudoBadger Tue 16-Apr-13 07:05:23

Ha ha I've just seen Rob referred to as 'Rob Titchynob' somewhere else grin

ppeatfruit Tue 16-Apr-13 07:20:51

Blimey i'd forgotten about Rob grin d'you reckon he's even GOT a wife? or he's done away with her (he'a another Paul IMO too good to be true at the start in true soap tradition then he'll turn into a serial murderer or whatever).

I want Lizzie to have Ifty move in that'll put Shula's stupid nose out!!!

outtolunchagain Tue 16-Apr-13 07:57:54

I don't know why Shula is so holier than though over Ifty, she was hardly a saint after Mark died . Admittedly the gap was a bit longer but remember how she had an affair with the Doctor who was living with the solicitor and seeing Alastair as well.

outtolunchagain Tue 16-Apr-13 07:58:46

Holier than thou ( iPad correctorblush)

ppeatfruit Tue 16-Apr-13 08:03:14

It's not the sex she objects to it's the colour of Ifty's face sad

R4 Tue 16-Apr-13 08:25:57

What have I missed? Where are we getting the idea that Shula is racist? Alisatair thinks that the sun shines out of Ifti's backside and I don't remember Shula trying to change his mind or make derogatory comments.

I agree that she stuck her nose in unnecessarily but then I think that the Willow Farm mob are getting unnecessarily involved with Brenda too. It's what they do in SoapLand innit? OK she's bust up with her fiance, but they are treating her like she is the first person in the history of everything to split up. Widow/ers in the village have had less fuss made over them!

PS pp good point about dung being 'the circle of life'. They will have to buy in organic milk and poo.

outtolunchagain Tue 16-Apr-13 08:32:58

Because of the fuss when Alan and Usha got married many felt her objections were racist rather than religious . I think she actually made some racist comments

R4 Tue 16-Apr-13 10:20:39

I know that she has history with Usha but that was because they were involved with the same man. Shula was definitely in the wrong over that one.

She objected to Alan and Usha marrying on religious grounds, not racist ones. If you remember, she used to be very active in St Stephens so had an interest in the administration of the parish and hence the vicar's 'helpmeet'. I have never been happy with that storyline, it doesn't ring true to me tbh - does anyone know the statistics for ordained ministers marrying outside their religion?

lottiegarbanzo Tue 16-Apr-13 11:09:48

I did take Shula's taken aback 'I don't think he's her type' remark about Ifty as very latent, unintended racism - it just hadn't occurred to her that Ifty was in the category of men Lizzie could possibly fancy. He's younger too though isn't he?

Surely a real Brenda would now get a job in Birmingham or London and visit her family frequently at weekends. It will seem crazy if she stays in Ambridge, now there's nothing holding back her career.

ppeatfruit Tue 16-Apr-13 19:55:02

Yes R4 IMO Pat would not have capitulated so easily. It's the S.W.'s milking grin Tom's misery as hard as they can.

Yes lottie she's annoying me now she's about as spineless as Tom: they suit each other grin

mummytime Thu 18-Apr-13 10:17:01

I think the Usha Alan story line in real life would have created far more fuss! The Vicar marrying someone who was a Hindu, in your normal Parish/Village it would have been discussed widely with lots of opinions and arguments, not just one Parishoner against it. But then again a church like St Stephens doesn't really exist does it? Used by the whole village, no groups (appart from Shula) going to Churches in other towns and villages? No Catholics or Methodists or whatever? No one going to the whacky church that meets in a Pub in Felpersham.

R4 Thu 18-Apr-13 12:59:09

IIRC Joe is our token non-conformist but, apart from that, I agree with you.

R4 Fri 19-Apr-13 09:11:31

No comments after last night's episode? Even I am - almost - feeling sorry for Tom after Hellin's 'pep talk'.
I'm sure that no court in the land would convict if he had drowned her in the bulk tank.

PseudoBadger Fri 19-Apr-13 09:23:04

I'm going to listen soon

ppeatfruit Fri 19-Apr-13 09:30:13

Yes I'll listen this apres midi grin What do we reckon on dopey Darryl's rescue by Neil? (if he does manage to rescue him).

GrendelsMum Fri 19-Apr-13 11:23:29

All villains in Ambridge signal it by driving 4x4s very fast at random villagers. It seems to be the key attribute for being a villain.

Good for Neil, though - nice to see someone being decisive and sensible about a problem for once.

PseudoBadger Fri 19-Apr-13 13:04:54

Ok, well I think that the way Helen dealt with Tom was not a million miles away from the way he bullied Pat and Tony re. the cows, and the farm in general. It wasnt nice, but seems to have done the trick....

ppeatfruit Fri 19-Apr-13 13:22:56

Yes that 's true Grendels about the 4x4s! I wasn't listening properly so I couldn't work out at what time of day that Nell was walking home from the Bull would it really have been as late as the end (and tidying after) of a dog fight?

GrendelsMum Fri 19-Apr-13 13:55:10

I think the implication was that there'd been a late night at the Bull after the match - hence why Ed was pissed, as presumably they don't get pissed before the crucial match.

ppeatfruit Fri 19-Apr-13 14:25:34

We haven't heard Elona see Darryl returning home covered in blood yet have we grin.

PseudoBadger Fri 19-Apr-13 14:45:48

I hope that helping Darryl doesn't land Neil in trouble some how.

GreenShadow Fri 19-Apr-13 19:31:36

I hope that helping Darryl doesn't land Neil in trouble some how

Oh dear......

More woes for Susan sad

R4 Fri 19-Apr-13 19:47:50

<eyes PB suspiciously>
You're getting a bit too good at this predicting thing. You're not a SW are you?

PseudoBadger Fri 19-Apr-13 19:55:24

Ha! I haven't listened yet btw....
Tbh I find it so predictable right now that I just say what I see grin

ppeatfruit Sat 20-Apr-13 12:38:26


R4 Sat 20-Apr-13 19:32:02

Hear, hear. Well said pp

ppeatfruit Sun 21-Apr-13 08:46:10

Thanks R4 grin

choccyp1g Sun 21-Apr-13 20:32:41

Until today's episode, I thought it was Neil's turn for the Ambridge coma. Or has he had it already, maybe he is immune.

GrendelsMum Sun 21-Apr-13 21:19:42

Oh, I like a bit of woe, me. I was chuffed to bits when Neil was shot.

And Jim interviewing Brian made my week.

katieskids Sun 21-Apr-13 21:27:08

Grendels I'm thinking Jim is going to stitch Brian up and print a character assasination job, but the twist will be that he's used Brians own words grin

GrendelsMum Sun 21-Apr-13 21:28:33

Definitely, and it's going to be a cracker when Brian and JennyDarling realise.

ppeatfruit Mon 22-Apr-13 07:30:01

Oh yes I loved the use of the fade...when the 365000dollar question about the huge dairy factory farm was asked grin

Spuderoonerism Mon 22-Apr-13 08:51:36

Jim is definitely going for the SHFTTC approach with his final article methinks grin. How long does it take for Borsetshire Life to go to print and come out, I want a nice 'normal' Ambridge storyline please.

R4 Mon 22-Apr-13 09:25:08

grin @ SHFTTC

ppeatfruit Mon 22-Apr-13 09:33:29

Sorry I'm thick what's SHFTTC? grin

Ambridge Mon 22-Apr-13 09:37:54

Shaking Home Farm to the Core?

I love it, slimy Brine needs a good kick up the mega-dairy IMHO....

ppeatfruit Mon 22-Apr-13 09:55:23

Oh yes thanks Ambridge I couldn't agree more: I'd drop an explosive on it if it were RL (or at least galvanise an anti march or something) they've mostly rolled over and let it happen haven't they?

Ambridge Mon 22-Apr-13 10:01:52

Just looked on the other thread and agree that the whole thing is getting increasingly ridiculous - so many long-drawn-out, repetitive story lines that build up to moments of apparent high drama, then just fizzle out.

Like Brendurr finally ditching Tarm and, erm, continuing to share a bed with him. And Neil getting shot. And the whole crazed Amy with the married man thing that went on forever and just disappeared. Oh and pathetic Daryll and the bloody up and down floorboards.

I regularly find myself shouting at the radio while not quite bringing myself not to listen.

To get back to the OP, though, I have no sympathy whatsoever for the Sausage King <heartless>

Spuderoonerism Mon 22-Apr-13 10:22:50

ppeatfruit - it was from the huge build up to Nigel getting dedded a couple of years ago, the script writers had promised a story line which would 'Shake Ambridge To The Core' which got abbreviated to SATTC (also causing a bit of confusion on the first few readings with those who were used to Sex And The City grin). And yes I was going for Shake Home Farm To The Core!

ppeatfruit Mon 22-Apr-13 10:38:26

Thanks Spud I vaguely remember. grin

DuffyMoon Sun 05-May-13 23:03:23

Sigh...I listened to the omnibus this morning... I felt sorry for him again ! FFS ...there he is on the verge of ready meal greatness and no-one to share it with

HearMyRoar Mon 06-May-13 20:10:47

For a bit I did wonder if they are going to get him back together with kirsty as she was being all interested (it was kirsty that he went out with then had the affair with the supermarket lady wasn't it?). But hopefully she has more sense.

Shallishanti Thu 09-May-13 19:25:10

have just looked at this thread- Tom is 32????
I had thought more like 22

TallGiraffe Thu 09-May-13 22:47:59

Tom and Kirsty are definitely getting back together sad

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