Chris and Alice

(548 Posts)
Tallgiraffe Thu 21-Feb-13 19:51:41

Clearly DS' baths have meant I've missed more than I realised. Last time I heard from these 2 they were at it like rabbits every time I turned the radio on. Now she's moving to Canada? How did that happen?

SenoritaViva Thu 21-Feb-13 19:55:46

Is she moving? I haven't heard tonight's but....

She's been moaning about how boring her job is. On and on. About how her masters was wasted etc and generally being a spoilt brat. Her university friends are all in jet setting jobs around the globe. So, she's been investigating Canada, lying to chris etc. naturally he's furious.

Could be the end of the sickening rabbit stories (thankfully)

SenoritaViva Thu 21-Feb-13 19:56:24

Ps don't you listen to catch up on iplayer?!

LondonMother Thu 21-Feb-13 19:56:50

She's bored with her job and has belatedly realised that there aren't many exciting opportunities for qualified engineers in South Borsetshire. Poor old Chris.

Tallgiraffe Thu 21-Feb-13 22:13:21

I think I'm going to have to start downloading the omnibus, feel like I've missed a good family catchup! must not live life through the archers

I don't know that she's definitely going btw, I assume there will be more gnashing and wailing before she decides. But seriously, who does a secret Skype interview that you don't want anyone to know about in a place where your husband could be confused

Songbird Fri 22-Feb-13 11:40:37

Listening to last night's episode - god I hate Alice. Patronising selfish little article. 'I know how important your work is but you're just a farrier'. Will she go on her own do you think? I hope so.

Tallgiraffe Sat 23-Feb-13 22:00:37

I think she might be turning into another Kate with crappy selfishness. I really hope this isn't all a rubbish ploy for AmEx to go to Canada hmm

RocknRollNerd Sun 24-Feb-13 09:49:38

Oh god, I couldn't stand 12 episodes of 'Canadian' accents - the guy interviewing her was making my ears bleed eh!

Songbird Mon 25-Feb-13 15:30:42

Good God, I've just listened to last night's. Brine and Jennydarling didn't ask about Chris and his business once! No wonder Alice is so selfish is it? I liked Susan's comment about 'that family'.

RnR I loved that awful Canadian accent - 'what's it all aboot eh?'

On another note, I cannot WAIT to hear David's reaction when he hears about Wolfgang!

TBH, I think they would both be better off away from their interfering mothers families - and Chris could presumably be a farrier in Canada?

WMDinthekitchen Mon 25-Feb-13 15:38:52

I agree Songbird but also it was all about Susan and Chris possibly going abroad and what-about-her-grandchildren-when-they-come-along. I have always thought the scriptwriters would find a way to split up Chris and Alice so that we can have more cross-class drama. Then, Alice can find a nice middle class husband and Chris can find a nice girl down the road who never wants to go anywhere.

Songbird Mon 25-Feb-13 15:51:17

Haha yes, that's 'how it should be' [ominous voice]. Good point about Susan just going on about Chris, I suppose realistically each parent would be most concerned about their own child's happiness. And it would be worse if Brine had been all 'you do what your husband tells you, young lady'. There's no right answer really is there? They're just not particularly well matched. I'll personally be happy to see hear the back of Alice and her weird groany voice.

ArtexMonkey Mon 25-Feb-13 17:48:59

Oh I like Chris and Alice together, the episode when they came back from Vegas married was an absolute classic. I really want those two crazy kids to work it out sad

In theory you'd think there'd be nothing wrong with going to Canada for a few years and then coming back for free childcare when it's baby time. You'd think anyway. I hate to say it but I do feel sorry for jennyd with her various dds scattered across the globe, I'll be gutted if my dcs have wanderlust.

Tallgiraffe Mon 25-Feb-13 21:30:59

Songbird - oh yes, that conversation isn't going to go well! Poor Linda, I hope they don't have to have the others put down.

I don't want Chris and Alice to split up, mainly because I know how much it winds up Jennifer! Is that bad?

R4 Mon 25-Feb-13 22:31:40

I'm waiting for the Mick Jagger / Jerry Hall scenario when we discover that johnny foreigner didn't do a valid ceremony and the marriage was never legal.

Songbird Tue 26-Feb-13 09:34:08

I wasn't listening then, I'd loved to have heard Jennydarling's reaction grin

CuttedUpPear Fri 01-Mar-13 00:28:41

Where did they get married?

WhatSheSaid Fri 01-Mar-13 00:50:44

Vegas, I think.

Well I think it's over for them now, realistically. That goodbye at the airport was very strained & formal wasn't it? sad

ppeatfruit Mon 04-Mar-13 09:32:25

songbird jenny's reaction was good but Susan's was classic social climbing joy!!

ppeatfruit Mon 04-Mar-13 09:33:24

They had to get married for that IMO grin

Tallgiraffe Mon 04-Mar-13 18:30:49

Maybe she'll take the job, he'll stay behind and then she'll discover she's pregnant when she's out there?

ppeatfruit Mon 04-Mar-13 21:10:26

Nah tall she'll cop off with the computer nerd in Canada and Chris 'll get pulled by some hot Jilly Cooper type in jodphurs who'll keep him notionally to shoe her 'orses in a style he becomes accustomed to. grin

IndridCold Mon 04-Mar-13 21:31:04

Looks the SWs have something bad in mind wink...

Tallgiraffe Mon 04-Mar-13 21:42:24

What do you know?!

Fruit - love it grin

DuffyMoon Mon 04-Mar-13 21:49:57

songbird Wolfgang ????? WTF.?

ppeatfruit Tue 05-Mar-13 08:24:55

Duffy you're not up to scratch with the sus. death of the Llama Wolfgang and its poss. connection to T.B. (exceedingly traumatic for Linda considering her love of all the cuddly badgers!!!!!).

DuffyMoon Tue 05-Mar-13 13:20:13

ohhhh...I thought that Peeeep had met someone called Wolfgang when ski-ing grin I did hear her putting up the Berline Wall between her and Brookfield. Would a llama with TB not cough then

ppeatfruit Tue 05-Mar-13 13:29:18

I don't know about coughing Llamas sorry, there's an alpaca owner on the thread about Linda's Llamas, maybe she would know. grin

WhatSheSaid Tue 05-Mar-13 19:17:19

shock Chrissssss!

OMG the overacting from Alice at the end though.

OldBeanbagz Tue 05-Mar-13 19:24:42

OMG, big reaction from Alice but i have to admit i was welling up just listening.

Will he survive???

JollyGolightly Tue 05-Mar-13 19:27:59

Yes he must pull through, he's pretty much the least objectionable character.

Poor wee freddie, he didn't need to witness that.

MrsCampbellBlack Tue 05-Mar-13 20:11:19

Oh I missed tonight's episode - what happened please? Bloody bbc closing mustardland just when I need it

Theas18 Tue 05-Mar-13 20:19:14

It wasn't Alice but Shula.

So they have deded Chris, or cropped himat least now so Alice will either walk off into the sunset or live for ever in a total martyr....


kohl Tue 05-Mar-13 21:00:18

Ffs. " Ladies, beware. If you put your career first you will KILL YOUR HUSBAND."
Nice message SW.

crochetfish Tue 05-Mar-13 21:10:25

I wondered if a brush with death might be life affirming for Chris and he will realise he should take a risk and go to Canada?
Although if seriously injured and unable to work for a while might his farrier business go under/have to be sold anyway?
<wanders off speculating>

DuffyMoon Tue 05-Mar-13 21:11:58

What happened shock

Theas18 Tue 05-Mar-13 21:52:32

Hung over chris got careless (after a night drowning his sorrows) when sedating a frisky horse at the stables and got kicked ( in the head I assume) whist shoeing it.

Shula had hysterics and poor fragile nearly orphaned Freddie's witnessed it all.

CuttedUpPear Tue 05-Mar-13 21:53:31

Kicked by a horse! And it's not even a Thursday!

CuttedUpPear Tue 05-Mar-13 21:54:16

Spot on kohl angry

NigellaTufnel Tue 05-Mar-13 21:54:24

But was he careless? Or did nice but dim Freddie spook the horse?

R4 Tue 05-Mar-13 22:06:27

We need Joe to start the rumour of The Curse of Home Farm. First Adam, now Chris. These things come in threes, so which strapping young man is next? I nominate Willyum to be biffed by a poacher.

seeker Tue 05-Mar-13 22:14:57

All Alice's fault, obvs. Or Shula's, or possibly Susan's. Concievably even Jennifer's.

One of the women anyway.

Bluestocking Tue 05-Mar-13 22:22:49

I think Fred Nice But Dim spooked the horse into kicking Chris in the chest. I hope they don't kill him off, he's about the least loathsome character, apart from Housewives' Favourite Jazzer.

PseudoBadger Wed 06-Mar-13 07:36:06

Women - know your place. Bad Things happen when you follow your dreams....

ppeatfruit Wed 06-Mar-13 08:08:35

Oh you buggers I haven't heard it yet !!!!!!!

seeker Wed 06-Mar-13 08:10:57

Bad things also happen when you don't look after men properly. Obviously Susan should shoulder some of the responsibility? And Jennifer too- if she was a better mother, her children wouldn't want to go so far from home.......

PrincessFiorimonde Wed 06-Mar-13 09:28:49

shock shock shock at this development.
I was only half listening as I'd thought Monday's was a bit dull, so missed any suggestion of Freddie's spooking the horse.

Agree about the Message to Women.

CuttedUpPear, your first comment made me laugh.

Oh dear ppeatfruit, you shouldn't click on these threads till after 2.15!

ppeatfruit Wed 06-Mar-13 11:15:08

You're right Princess of course grin I'm going to try to go shopping before it repeats though it'd be on play it again wouldn't it? i always forget about that.

I'm not sure about the message to women, after all its edited by a woman, I'm not sure about the S.W.'s, could it be more a message about alcohol? (she says awaiting the flames!!! )

ppeatfruit Wed 06-Mar-13 11:16:10

Too many "I'm not sures" sorry.grin

orangina Wed 06-Mar-13 11:44:55


50BalesOfHay Wed 06-Mar-13 11:49:59

Ohh R4 yes please to Willyum being biffed by a poacher. He gets on my nerves with his moaning

HumphreyCobbler Wed 06-Mar-13 12:03:32

I too thought it was a 'look what happens when selfish women chase the job of their dreams' story

anyone else tense up as soon as Chris moaned about what horse it was? Obviously going to go horribly wrong...

Willyum is the most annoying character ever and the actor cannot act either.

orangina Wed 06-Mar-13 12:49:47

Pip is more annoying that Willyum now (a shocker, but true!).... I cannot STAND her....

(need to get a life)

ppeatfruit Wed 06-Mar-13 12:57:12

orangina I couldn't agree more about Pip; the actress badly needs lessons in her chosen profession.

50BalesOfHay Wed 06-Mar-13 13:10:01

Pip and Willyum should get together. They could annoy each other

Songbird Wed 06-Mar-13 13:50:59

No-one in real life enunciates every 't' like Pip does, let alone 20 year olds!

HumphreyCobbler Wed 06-Mar-13 14:53:47

I keep wanting to yell "You would have to pay rent if you were living elsewhere you annoying cow" at Pip.

ppeatfruit Wed 06-Mar-13 16:59:54

But if you're working then aren't you paying rent in 'kind' that's what tied cottagers do or did (I'm not up on rural customs grin)

PseudoBadger Wed 06-Mar-13 17:11:48

But she's not pulling her weight, that's why they're pissed off - she keeps leaving everyone in the lurch.

ppeatfruit Wed 06-Mar-13 18:39:51

Yes she's having a 2nd teenage rebellion phase. They're going to kick her out or threaten to.

Tallgiraffe Wed 06-Mar-13 18:51:59

The first rebellion was bad enough, why does she need a second?!

HearMyRoar Wed 06-Mar-13 20:46:40

Teenagers of today, eh. One rebellion just isn't enough for 'em.

Pip is amazingly annoying and generally crap. Though to be fair my parents were terribly lax and barely expected to know where I was when I was 16 so I can sort of understand why she's a bit put out at having to text her every move to her parents at her age. I think they're going to tell her she has to live by their rules in their house and she'll go 'ok, I'll move out then'. Everyone will be in a good old flap then. Ruth will be beside herself grin

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 06-Mar-13 20:54:08


R4 Wed 06-Mar-13 21:36:38

I can sort of understand why she's a bit put out at having to text her every move to her parents at her age.

Hmm, not really. I told DD that she was an adult and didn't need my permission to go out but I would appreciate being kept vaguely in the loop about what she was up to. Firstly for logistics reasons eg was she at home for dinner tonight? And secondly it would be nice to know, if it was 2a.m. and she wasn't home, was that because she was stopping the night at someone's house or should I be worrying that she had been run over by a bus.
Not intrusiveness, just simple courtesy and communication. That would ruin a Drama storyline, though.grin

Waswondering Wed 06-Mar-13 21:53:27

Lurks in waiting room, pacing up and down, checking watch continually to see if Alice's weirdly routed flight will get back in time for ......

(Why on earth did she not camp at Vancouver airport to get the first pane back to London??? AFAIK they are fairly frequent, aren't they?! And it's not that far up the M40 to Ambridge, given Sunday's episode!)

choccyp1g Wed 06-Mar-13 22:08:44

I first assumed that Chris would make a complete recovery, just like Brian, Caroline, Adam, (and probably a few other comatose characters that I have forgotten...), but tonights episode sounded like they are killing him off.

After they telegraphed the plot on Sunday, "tragic news for Alice", I was pretty sure Chris was going to drown in Vomit, then was just waiting for the fatal kick yesterday.

Tallgiraffe Wed 06-Mar-13 22:46:14

I'm with R4 on this one. My younger sister was staying with us recently (bit older than Pip) and I was worried when she didn't text me that she was staying out overnight. Her battery had died so genuine excuse but I'd be pissed off in Ruth's shoes.

If they kill off Chris sad will Alice go or come back to keep the memories alive?

kohl Wed 06-Mar-13 23:03:34

Oh shit. They can't kill of Chris.

Can they?

kohl Wed 06-Mar-13 23:04:01

. off obvs

MrsTwgtwf Wed 06-Mar-13 23:07:31


Sorry for shouting, but I need to know. Can't believe I missed the crucial episode. angry

NigellaTufnel Wed 06-Mar-13 23:11:14

Chris is the only really likeable one of the young lot. He's quietly chivalrous, but is supportive if Alice, the spoilt brat.

Why don't they sort out Willyum with a poacher's cosh to the head? Apart from Eddie once gently chiding him for being a total arse to Ed he never gets pulled up for being so horribly unpleasant.

You were left that money, you tosser!

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 06-Mar-13 23:14:11
MrsTwgtwf Wed 06-Mar-13 23:19:03

But I've never heard of Windermere Spar! What colour is he Who does he belong to?

I'm glad it wasn't Nigel/Freddie's horse.

R4 Wed 06-Mar-13 23:20:59

It was Windermere Star, apparently. And the plot summary on Listen Again definitely thinks that Freddie is partially to blame because he "dropped a bucket nearby and the commotion startled the horse".

seeker Thu 07-Mar-13 00:22:28

Who owns Windermere Star? Is she Oliver's?

ppeatfruit Thu 07-Mar-13 07:21:17

Nigella the charming willyum seems to be kept under control by his new wifey Nick she DOES have a way with him. grin

seeker Thu 07-Mar-13 08:29:10

God, I hate that Nick/Will relationship.

RocknRollNerd Thu 07-Mar-13 08:52:32

Another one baffled as to why it's taking Alice so long to get back - the earliest she could get a flight was Thursday morning Canadian time (so Thursday evening UK time) and even that was via Seattle and Amsterdam. Correct me if I'm wrong but the family isn't short of cash, surely Brine would have forked out for a single ticket at whatever the price - just looked (yes I'm that sad) and for £800 I could get a direct flight from Vancouver today to the UK landing tomorrow lunchtime so I'm fairly certain they could have rustled something up for Tuesday evening in Vancouver (ie she could have been back by Wednesday afternoon).

I'm not on the board of Borchester land but if DH was potentially about to die I would have flung my credit cards down at Vancouver airport whilst I was still on the original phonecall and moved heaven and earth to get back home and to hell with the cost!

Also - why was she not flying back much sooner in anycase - her interview was Tuesday so why was she not going to be on a flight on Thursday at the latest even before this happened?

Tallgiraffe Thu 07-Mar-13 09:04:34

And I'm pretty sure if she'd gone to the airport and told them her husband was dying a space would have been found for her on the first plane leaving so she'd already be back. DH did that once (different relation obviously) and they even made a plane wait for him so he could get there ASAP.

mummytime Thu 07-Mar-13 09:19:28

Yeah the SW's don't seem to know much about airlines do they? All airlines I know would have bumped someone off a flight/upgraded to get someone home if possible in those circumstances.

HumphreyCobbler Thu 07-Mar-13 09:19:46

Just listened to yesterday's episode. I agree about the plane stuff, she could obviously have got home a lot sooner.

Nigella I can never get over how smug Willyum is about his money when he was given most of it AND a decent person would have shared it with his brother (although I see that running off with his wife may have put him off that idea). Wasn't it an oversight that Ed wasn't included in the will?

ppeatfruit Thu 07-Mar-13 09:37:02

The Will and Ed story has a very long history even going back generations (Ed the dad hardly ever saw his gaolbird brother) It's true to life IMHO.

Agree about the flights from Canada, anyone (if she's not assertive enough to do that she wouldn't be much cop in a high flying engineering or any other job for that matter grin) would of course tell the airline and they'd get you on the first flight they could esp. with money being no object.

R4 Thu 07-Mar-13 09:37:09

Wasn't it an oversight that Ed wasn't included in the will?

The will was drawn up before Ed was born and never updated. There must have been shoddy drafting, too, to specifically name Will instead of 'surviving issue of'.

HumphreyCobbler Thu 07-Mar-13 09:42:53

I have a soft spot for Ed. He is a much better actor than his brother. There was never any doubt in my mind which Emmer should go for wink

R4 Thu 07-Mar-13 09:54:11

He is a much better actor than his brother.

I used to have a soft spot for Ed but the recent 'working class lad too proud to admit that he is not able to Provide For His Family' has grated a little.

Lilymaid Thu 07-Mar-13 10:02:15

RocknRollNerd - we need to tell Alice quickly that she can get back faster!
Typical of TA - they are always useless with their research (I'm old enough to remember when Shula thought she was going to become a vet with Arts A Levels - a story that ran and ran).

Blimey 'eck - I have missed a lot!! I will have to catch up on the interwebs.

I am glad I am not the only one who wants to give Pip a good hard smack reality check. I was beginning to suspect that either Ruth or David would have a Nasty Accident, as a result of overwork/tiredness/trying to do too much, and that would make her realise what a caaahh she is being - but if they've kicked Chris in the chest, it's unlikely they'd have another Injured Villager storyline just yet, isn't it?

Songbird Thu 07-Mar-13 10:36:22

His father having a heart attack didn't stop Tom being a dick did it though? Those Archers kids, eh? Entitled bunch of brats!

Tallgiraffe Thu 07-Mar-13 10:51:26

It's funny though, some things they do a lot of research on. My dad was advising them for a while on one storyline super proud daughter but maybe they judged that as being specialist whereas flight booking a bit normal.

I reckon there's a few memory issues going on - Pip with how much her family went through re the harassment and Tom forgetting about Tony's dicky ticker episode. Weird.

LillianGish Thu 07-Mar-13 10:59:56

Alice's delay in getting a flight must surely be a dramatic device - is it so that Chris can die before she gets there? Agree he is one of the more the likeable characters, but imo that only makes him more expendable - less dramatic possibility with the nice ones, especially if they are not particularly comic. Maybe it will be a repeat of the Shula and Mark scenario where Alice finds out she is pregnant with dead husband's child - as a previous poster has already pointed out there would be endless possibilities for that story with Susan and Jennifer as the two grannies!

HearMyRoar Thu 07-Mar-13 11:37:54

Oh dear, I have clearly outed my mum and dad's irresponsible parenting. blush I think Ruth is being a major drama queen, you'd think Pip was out shooting up and robbing grannies the way she carries on rather then just being a pretty standard level annoying adolescent. God help me, I can't believe I am coming close to defending that girl shock

I agree about Alice. What has she been doing for all that time in Canada? Also I do like poor Chris. I think he should get together with Nic as the 2 least annoying people on the show.

HearMyRoar Thu 07-Mar-13 11:40:31

Assuming he doesn't die of course...or that would be weird grin

If Chris dies, and Alice is pregnant, and then she does move to Vancouver - how would Jennifer and Susan react to that??!

R4 Thu 07-Mar-13 11:55:48

Are we talking about the same 'nice' Chris here? The one who could run his farriery business anywhere in the country/world but has never ventured foot outside of Borsetshire and expects Alice, who has spent years and £££££ getting her specialised qualification, to forgo her career. I know that she is being precious about her immediate expectations but if she doesn't use her Masters knowledge soon then it will be outdated and a waste of time effort.
Didn't they discuss any of this at any stage?

seeker Thu 07-Mar-13 11:58:51

Pip's not an adolescent, she's 20! And she's supposed to be committed to Brookfield- that's why she didn't move away.

seeker Thu 07-Mar-13 11:59:39

I think she's going to leave and Josh will step up to be Golden Child.

Waswondering Thu 07-Mar-13 12:23:57

Very quickly ... re the flights (that's really bugging me!) surely this is exactly the situation that travel insurance is for? So money should be absolutely no barrier whatsoever - notwithstanding her dad's deep pockets.

Alice, please, go to the airport and use their wifi - leave your hotel room!!!

(Asked dh last night - hypothetically, if someone had these injuries, do you think they'd survive? He was concerned to know who our "hypothetical" friend was before groaning that he couldn't believe he was commenting on an Archers storyline ....)

HumphreyCobbler Thu 07-Mar-13 12:30:39

What did your DH say Waswondering?

hanahsaunt Thu 07-Mar-13 12:34:38

If I had flown all the way to Vancouver at v short notice and thus paid much money for flights I wouldn't be turning around and heading home the next day - I would check the place out. (Until I got the phonecall re dh and would then be haunting the airport). WW - dh not in the mood to dissect TA last night so will pursue tonight (assuming Chris doesn't die in the meantime).

Waswondering Thu 07-Mar-13 12:44:24

Dh (pharmacologist, research scientist - not clinician, not a dr) reckoned he was a goner!

So I messaged HA ^^ to ask what her dh would say (given that he does have a relevant professional opinion wink). Awaiting anxiously his opinion ....

Abra1d Thu 07-Mar-13 12:49:02

Yes, what is it about Jennifer that drives her three daughters to the far sides of the globe! grin

HumphreyCobbler Thu 07-Mar-13 12:51:26

Gosh! This has come as a surprise if so. They must have learned their lesson over the SATTC debacle.

PseudoBadger Thu 07-Mar-13 13:05:43

Maybe they're not finished yet - Alice's route sounds very risky wink

CuttedUpPear Thu 07-Mar-13 19:11:36

They are going to dead him before Alice gets there.

See I told you the bad things always happen on a Thursday!

kohl Thu 07-Mar-13 19:12:22

Oh shit. Listening now...I think he's on his way out...

CuttedUpPear Thu 07-Mar-13 19:14:21

It will be a cliffhanger mark my words...dead or not, we won't find out til tomorrow

CuttedUpPear Thu 07-Mar-13 19:16:00

Someone pass the gin. I'm exhausted.

Theas18 Thu 07-Mar-13 19:17:28

Absolutely agree, working up to a weekend cliffhanger....
Tomorrow will be all about Alice, or possibly lama tb as an annoying aside.

kohl Thu 07-Mar-13 19:17:40

Fuuuuck. "what the future might hold." Did anyone see this coming?

OldBeanbagz Thu 07-Mar-13 19:18:20

Chris is a goner.

8 hour transfer in Amsterdam. The scriptwriters must be kidding.

<joins CuttedUpPear with the gin>

MrsCampbellBlack Thu 07-Mar-13 19:20:53

They do love their widows in TA don't they?

I really hope he pulls through

R4 Thu 07-Mar-13 19:24:44

Returning to the theme of the SW not doing their research:
Don't you think that Shula and Lizzie's sisterly exchange of family news should have included at least a passing remark on Daniel's exam results that were out today?

Waswondering Thu 07-Mar-13 19:24:51

8h? Baffled. If she makes, I think it will be to say goodbye ...

heronsfly Thu 07-Mar-13 19:25:01

I didn't see it coming at all. was snuggled up in bed listening on I player and actually jumped up when I realised what was unfolding grin.
i hope they don't kill him off he always sounds rather nice compared to most if them, now if it was Tom, or Will, or even Alice I might think differently.

HumphreyCobbler Thu 07-Mar-13 19:26:51

Oh dear shock

felt really sorry for Susan and Neil. DH had to remind me it wasn't real.

Waswondering Thu 07-Mar-13 19:27:09

My mum reckons Brian should charter a private jet to Amsterdam to bring her back ... He can afford it ...

HumphreyCobbler Thu 07-Mar-13 19:27:28

Freddie is going to feel terrible if it was his fault for dropping the bucket.

Pollykitten Thu 07-Mar-13 19:34:13

they'll turn it into a minute by minute race against time as to whether she gets there in time to day goodbye or not, I reckon... Neil and Susan made me cry :-(

Pollykitten Thu 07-Mar-13 19:35:54

Good point waswondering Brian should so do that...

Tallgiraffe Thu 07-Mar-13 19:43:03

Neil trying to keep his business going had me welling up. 8h in schipol, there are hundreds of flights in that time confused

On an aside though, why does Freddie get everything? Surely Lily needs an inheritance too or is she supposed to marry well? hmm

changeforthebetter Thu 07-Mar-13 19:45:16

I was taken aback that they did this - but kill-off-nice-guy worked with Nigel, didn't it (though that was hugely trailed) Leaving a young, pregnant widow would certainly have masses of plot implications.

I think they intend to kill him off or perhaps leave him seriously disabled which highlights Alice's dilemma. I can't stand Alice (or Kate - spoilt brats). Perhaps, after a suitable period of mourning Alice could bog off to Vancouver with Will.iyum and leave us in peace winkgrin Nic deserves better (a reformed Jazzer??)

WeightyKaty Thu 07-Mar-13 19:54:24

I'm still in shock there is a new Clarrie!

HumphreyCobbler Thu 07-Mar-13 19:58:28

the new Clarrie's dialect really grates on me

CuttedUpPear Thu 07-Mar-13 20:03:53

Yes the new Clarrie (although I know she is really the old, original Clarrie) is a bit forward imo.
Goes about expressing opinions and everything. [hmph]

HearMyRoar Thu 07-Mar-13 20:06:50

tall i assume lilly doesn't get anything because she is a girl. Nigel may have been all cuddly fun but when it comes to it he was landed aristocracy and so girls get sod all and like it. I wonder if that will be a future storyline though resulting in massive family rift and lilly becoming an ardent feminist grin

I also came on to comment on the ridiculous 8hr change over. She could probably get a train back in that time. Lucky for her she's an engineer and not a travel agent as I would not be impressed if she handed me that flight plan hmm

Waswondering Thu 07-Mar-13 20:19:24

Does anything happen to the horse involved? Is it now seen as a dangerous beast?

Tallgiraffe Thu 07-Mar-13 20:41:53

hear love it! SW - hope you're watching this thread, great ideas are abounding.

Not sure about the horse, wouldn't have thought so. Plenty of horses/cows injure people and just get put in a field without a public footpath in! Not the same as dog bites.

Songbird Thu 07-Mar-13 20:42:32

The horse obviously has form, as Chris RIP wasn't best pleased when he realised she was his last job, and there was talk of Alistair having to sedate her.

duchesse Thu 07-Mar-13 20:53:24

Ffs. " Ladies, beware. If you put your career first you will KILL YOUR HUSBAND."

Exactly the point I made in a tweet to #thearchers last week. Haven't had any responses bizarrely.

duchesse Thu 07-Mar-13 20:54:02

New Clarrie's been bugging me as well since she popped up from wherever it was she went for 6 months.

choccyp1g Thu 07-Mar-13 21:08:09

They have to kill him, otherwise there will be 5 coma survivors wandering wound Ambridge with no apparent ill-effects.

duchesse Thu 07-Mar-13 21:11:33

choccy smile

It'll be like Midsomer March but with less death.

HumphreyCobbler Thu 07-Mar-13 21:11:59

Adam I know - who else? <admits ignorance>

duchesse Thu 07-Mar-13 21:12:25


duchesse Thu 07-Mar-13 22:02:54

I was thinking about this in the bath.

There's Jazzer with ketamine OD.
Adam, blipped o'er the bonce by a n'erdowell.

After that I'm not so sure.

Mike? I know Mike had some kind of injury- does he have an eye missing or did I make that up? Or was it an arm? Was he in a coma though?
Tony- was he in a post-heart attack coma?

I've run out.


HumphreyCobbler Thu 07-Mar-13 22:17:27

I am impressed by your Archers knowledge.

I didn't know that about Jazzer - I must have missed that.

CuttedUpPear Thu 07-Mar-13 22:32:51

Someone was in a car crash - Brine? Soibhan? (sp?)
Was that the other coma?

duchesse Thu 07-Mar-13 22:35:42

Siobhan carked it from breast cancer didn't she?- I don't remember any car crash but maybe there was. I did have a nagging feeling that Brine might have been comatose at some point as Jennyfur would make such a good ICU patient's wife.

In the car crash that Mark Hebden was killed in, Caroline was in a coma for a while afterwards (she and Debbie had been on their horses).

And John was killed in a tractor accident.

BoreOfWhabylon Thu 07-Mar-13 22:52:53

Brine had a bang on the head (can't remember why, might have been a kick from a cow) years ago and developed epilepsy, which has since been conveniently forgotten. Jazzer had a ketamine OD and sustained severe brain damage, which has since been conveniently forgotten. Lots more. Will have to check out some of the alternative Archers boards that have sprung up since the Great Diaspora.

Google reveals that there are 2 - 3 direct non-stop Vancouver to Heathrow flights daily, flying time 9hrs 25 min, so Alice's idiosyncratic route appears to be a plot device to give us a weekend cliffhanger.

Does all this mean that feathery-stroker Paul will not be dedded in the near future? Felt sure that was on the cards when Lil commented on him looking tired recently. Must just be due to all the shagging after all.

CuttedUpPear Thu 07-Mar-13 23:02:04

You would think they could have injured Chris a bit later in the week to make Alice's delay a bit more plausible.

But nay, this shall never happen!
Because it is written -
Shocking events shalst only ever happen on a Thursday...therefore giving all Ambridgers the opportunity to hang on a cliff from Friday til Sunday.


duchesse Thu 07-Mar-13 23:09:01

You guys! Such cynics after my own heart.

Tallgiraffe Fri 08-Mar-13 07:33:41

In the convenient forgetting about previous comas, you'd think Jennifer might have made some reference to Adam -"I know how hard it is to see your son in ITU" she must know that place inside out!

The BMJ had an article in their Christmas edition a couple of years ago about the illnesses and injuries of Ambridge very entertaining if you haven't read it before grin

CuttedUpPear Fri 08-Mar-13 07:36:07

I'd like to read that - have you got a link?

<also has no life>

ppeatfruit Fri 08-Mar-13 08:03:25

OH fuck sad is he dead then? (I as usual didn't hear last night's).

Yeah I reckon he'll end up in a wheel chair and Alice will have to be a carer that 'd show her for getting uppity. (okay I'm with you lot about the S.W.'s message grin).

duchesse Fri 08-Mar-13 08:26:03

No, not dead yet. Still hovering twixt life and death in ICU. He's had a couple of setbacks and Alice is stuck in Vancouver in an inexplicable travel black spot. Serves her right for wanting to get a better job when she ought to be at home making flapjack. hmm

ppeatfruit Fri 08-Mar-13 08:31:43

Thanks duchesse

Tallgiraffe Fri 08-Mar-13 08:34:26

Pear, the blue words in my last post should be the link to the article, let me know if you can't get it to work.

Not quite dead but heading for organ failure with low oxygen saturations. Critical and unstable would be the press release I think.

duchesse Fri 08-Mar-13 08:35:59

Ah giraffe, very sadly I can only read the abstract of that paper. It looks brilliant! I might have to take out the free trial subscription just to read it.

CuttedUpPear Fri 08-Mar-13 08:46:05

Ah yes thanks. I find it hard to see the blue links against the the other text.

RocknRollNerd Fri 08-Mar-13 09:08:33

Glad I'm not the only one who googled flights! grin. Am fairly certain she could probably train it back in less than 8 hours from Amsterdam as well but I am not going to google that! I am irrationally infuriated by the way they've strung out Alice's return so implausibly.

It really doesn't look good for Chris does it? I reckon he's going to die on Sunday, today will definitely be a cliff-hanger. Will it be like when they used to bump them off in Neighbours and he rallies slightly, tells everyone he loves them and then gasps his last? They did seem to be setting the scene for a trio of widows with all Shula and Elizabeth's bonding last night.

Lilymaid Fri 08-Mar-13 09:25:06

Not coma related but thought I would flag up Daniel Archer's childhood rheumatism. Big story line when it was diagnosed ten or so years ago --- and then never again mentioned until recently when I heard someone say that he was now over it.
Do they still do the dramatic variation of the theme tune when something awful happens ... can't remember it from yesterday's episode?

R4 Fri 08-Mar-13 09:29:17

Tallgiraffe The link works but the article is only available to subscribers. Shame, cos it sounds quite amusing.

Tallgiraffe Fri 08-Mar-13 09:34:28

Ah sorry, I have it autologged in on mine. I shall try copy and pasting the artice and pming it to you, anyone else who wants it let me know...

duchesse Fri 08-Mar-13 09:35:16

Yes please!

kohl Fri 08-Mar-13 09:44:40

Ooh giraffe could you pm me with that please!

HumphreyCobbler Fri 08-Mar-13 09:50:05

thanks for the coma info - I vaguely remember Brian suffering now.

Anyone else really like the theme tune to Ambridge Extra? It's brilliant. DH used to put the Archers theme tune into the middle of a tune set to see if anyone noticed. No one ever did grin

GrendelsMum Fri 08-Mar-13 09:58:06

I'd just like to contribute that my DH managed to go to Amsterdam and back in the time that Alice took sitting at the airport.

HighJinx Fri 08-Mar-13 10:20:32

I am going to delurk to add that DH and I have driven from Amsterdam to UK in less than 6 hours (including ferry). There are also endless flights to various UK airports throughout the day.

I think Alice is probably in a coffee shop getting high. And apparently Vancouver is sometimes called Vansterdam due to its cannabis consumption so maybe there is a connection.

Also on the topic of health stories wasn't Chris born with a hair-lip? I seem to remember Susan having trouble bonding with him when he was born due to this.
<old gimmer with nothing better to do than remember old Archers story lines emoticon>

R4 Fri 08-Mar-13 10:20:49

Another request for a pm, please! smile

duchesse Fri 08-Mar-13 10:23:36

kinx- Christophur defo has a harelip. I remember Susan trying to hide him when she went up to the shops. God how long ago was that???

Songbird Fri 08-Mar-13 10:25:05

And me please tallgiraffe

I feel like a complete Archers lightweight, listening to you all. I don't listen every day (waits to be unceremoniously thrown off the thread), and don't know a fraction of the details of Ambridge history that you lot do.

It does seem a pretty unsafe place to live, though - Midsummer might actually be safer!

CuttedUpPear Fri 08-Mar-13 10:26:41

Thanks tallgiraffe

From the report:

dramatically different from the norm are the high proportion of deaths due to accidental or self inflicted injury, which is sevenfold greater than that expected on the basis of national data


duchesse Fri 08-Mar-13 10:29:07

I thought that given the size of the place, if even one person dies in a crash or from suicide, they would buck the statistics for that place for a substantial length of time. If you have a crash in a hamlet of 25 people, you would quite seriously skew their road safety stats for the year. People have to die somewhere though.

seeker Fri 08-Mar-13 10:36:29

Yep- I remember the hard lip too. And Susan being in prison. And I even remember Nigel's ice cream van!

I wonder what happened to Tim Beauchamp.........?

seeker Fri 08-Mar-13 10:37:44

Hare lip, obviously. Nobody appears to have a hard- as in stiff upper- lip except Jill.

PrincessFiorimonde Fri 08-Mar-13 10:37:50

I remember reading Archers characters more likely to die in accidents, which I guess is based on the BMJ piece?

arf at Jennifer forgetting about all those hours she spent at Adam's bedside in ITU

I've been listening to TA for years and I've still forgotten loads. Always someone here to fill in the gaps!

HumphreyCobbler Fri 08-Mar-13 10:38:09

Nigel had an ice cream van?

CuttedUpPear Fri 08-Mar-13 10:39:23

Ahahaha <holds sides>

With the possible exception of Joe Grundy’s dubious self diagnosis of farmer’s lung, little respiratory disease has occurred.

Gotta love Joe Grundy.

seeker Fri 08-Mar-13 10:42:36

Mr Snowy, if I recall correctly. Citation needed though........

Tallgiraffe Fri 08-Mar-13 10:45:39

Mr Snowy shock too funny!

heronsfly Fri 08-Mar-13 10:58:18

I remember the ice cream van ! grin(I don't think Chris is going to be 'Deaded')

R4 Fri 08-Mar-13 11:08:18

Thanks for the article TG

"The Archers seems to have a higher than expected number of traumatic deaths. In this respect, it would be similar to soap operas set in urban environments and on television. However, in overall mortality, which in epidemiological terms is the most important outcome, The Archers ploughs its own furrow."

Ba boom tish!grin

ppeatfruit Fri 08-Mar-13 12:12:41

Interesting info. Thanks R4 thinking about it apart from Joe's farmers' lung there are hardly any long term illnesses in Ambridge so there needs to be a higher accident mortality rate to keep them popping orf grin

LondonMother Fri 08-Mar-13 12:26:59

Walter Gabriel had type 2 diabetes. [really old gimmer alert]

Pat had depression and Helen had an eating disorder - that's why her family tiptoe all around her as they don't want to upset her and set her off again.

Elizabeth had a heart murmur as a child and some problem recurred not long ago, requiring surgery.

Mike had high cholesterol and depression as well as losing an eye. I expect the eye has grown back by now, though.

HumphreyCobbler Fri 08-Mar-13 12:29:31

I expect the eye has grown back by now though


ppeatfruit Fri 08-Mar-13 12:31:21

Blimey poor old Walter grin I remember too londonmother grin But they're still healthy considering how much the Bull is used!! There's no way I'd be healthy if I were Lilian!!

ppeatfruit Fri 08-Mar-13 12:33:40

"Me ole pals and booties" !!!

ThatBintAgain Fri 08-Mar-13 13:08:56

Ooooh, only just found this! Is Chris going to die? I reckon he will, and then Alice can flee all the traumatic memories by taking the job in Canada. Two characters written out in one fell swoop.

ppeatfruit Fri 08-Mar-13 13:19:24

I reckon we'll find out on Sunday ThatBint (there seems to be a deliberate keep 'em waiting poicy) grin

Songbird Fri 08-Mar-13 14:09:35

Or will he be severely disabled, thereby really teaching her not to follow her dreams? Women...

seeker Fri 08-Mar-13 14:12:36

Or he will be restored to perfect health by this time next week, thereby making Alice count her blessings and, terrified by the thought of what might have happened, settle down to her proper role as surrendered wife...............

choccyp1g Fri 08-Mar-13 14:20:51

So far on the comas we've got

ppeatfruit Fri 08-Mar-13 14:20:56

Yes songbird from what Susan said about Chris not getting enough oxygen to his brain it seems the S.W's (what with Vicky's baby) have just discovered disabilities.

choccyp1g Fri 08-Mar-13 14:25:33

Oops posted too soon.

I'm not absolutely sure about Brian TBH

But I suspect there might have been a few others when I wasn't a regular listener.

ThatBintAgain Fri 08-Mar-13 14:57:28

seeker if that happens I'm switching off!

HighJinx Fri 08-Mar-13 15:06:09

There is no online poll about whether Chris should live or die though is there? Which, unbelievably there was for Vicky's baby.

seeker Fri 08-Mar-13 15:10:13

Fascinating that Vicki's baby appeared to have no more than passing problems feeding and is meeting her milestones. As did Hayley's significantly premature What's her Name.

So only nice not too disabling disabilities allowed........

heronsfly Fri 08-Mar-13 16:01:36

According to the archers website, Alice is still facing an anxious wait on Monday,so his not deaded yet biscuit

Abra1d Fri 08-Mar-13 16:19:46

I beg your pardon, you are all forgetting Linda's ALLERGIES.

PseudoBadger Fri 08-Mar-13 16:20:38

That'll be for the job interview result herons grin

RussiansOnTheSpree Fri 08-Mar-13 16:33:32

Emma was in a coma after her car (bike?) crash with Ed, surely? When she had compartment syndrome?

Helen had clicky hips when she was born.

Kate is a cow.

Someone lost an arm - was that Jethro?

oahhhh noahhhh Ruth had breast cancer (that was awful that was, when Phil and David were crying together when Phil was talking about losing Grace)

Mike is hiding a deep dark secret (he's really Davros)

Tallgiraffe Fri 08-Mar-13 16:42:40

Kate is a cow - grin

IndridCold Fri 08-Mar-13 17:24:17

I think that Brian got knocked out by a cow and then had an epileptic fit as he was driving along and crashed and was in a coma.

I also remember Elizabeth hired a Mr Snowy van for one of Nigel's birthday parties and Tim Beauchamp drove it into the lake at Lower Loxley.

Don't remember the hare lip at all, but I do remember when Neil got Susan 'into trouble' shock.

I guess none of you get the Radio Times 'cos there were heavy hints in there that this was going to happen. They can never resist giving the plot away in advance...

GrendelsMum Fri 08-Mar-13 17:32:08

:-) Kate is a cow

LondonMother Fri 08-Mar-13 17:41:19

Brian did get knocked out by a cow (a Grundy cow, natch) and had a fit, but the car accident happened years later when Siobhan grabbed the wheel or something like that. He managed to keep it from Jenny that the Scarlet Woman had been involved at all, by omitting to mention it to the police and getting David and Ruth to whisk S in and out of the hospital by back ways.

I remember birth of Chris. I remember birth of Alice come to that.

Siobhan died from skin cancer. Don't forget Dan Archer senior as well - died trying to right a sheep that was on it's back. Only Elizabeth to help him and you can imagine how much use she was.....

Poor Susan and Neil. Neil in particular - he always sounds so strong and he's just desperate now sad

The Grundy cow had BSE. There was then a fab scene a few weeks later when out of hospital Brian was harvesting and Jennie took Alice and Peggy to meet him with a picnic lunch. Being Jennifer of course she was never knowingly under over the top and when Brian fell to the ground in a fit Peggy had to tell her to 'Move the wine glasses out of the way Jennifer!'

Mark's death was pretty heartbreaking but it's death of John that really sticks in my mind. When Tony found him I wept buckets and buckets (was pregnant)

HighJinx Fri 08-Mar-13 17:55:09

Yes I remember John dying and Tony telling someone to not let Pat come down and see him. Was very sad.

At least if Chris does die Susan won't have to break out of jail to go to his funeral like she did for Mark Hebdon's.

orangina Fri 08-Mar-13 18:08:59

Am slightly desperate to hear this evening's episode, although I'm sure it isn't going to provide any answers..... blush

CuttedUpPear Fri 08-Mar-13 18:15:43

I was thinking, this is fantastic plot device to split up Alice and Chris, whose marriage, let's face it, was under considerable strain due to Alice's modern day completely normal aspirations.

Let's face it folks, it would never have worked. Especially if you are party to what goes on over at 4Xtra!

This will save Jennydahling years of having to be civil to Susan in the shop, the iniquity of co-grandparenting any offspring, and thinking of ways to defer her excruciating Christmas drinks n nibbles invites.

I am briefing DS to stay out of the room at 19:03 while I brace myself for the awful dénouement.

yellowbrickrd Fri 08-Mar-13 18:50:25

It's too soon for another deading. I reckon he will have pulled through by 19.14.

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 08-Mar-13 18:53:02

who is GRACE?!?!

BoreOfWhabylon Fri 08-Mar-13 18:54:06

Oooh, nearly time!

yellowbrickrd Fri 08-Mar-13 18:57:47

Goodness me Olivia, the DEATH OF GRACE ARCHER (first wife of Phil, father of Deeaavid et al) was one of the big stories of 1955 - don't tell me you missed it?! Apparently the sneaky beeb did it to spoil the launch of ITV. And we thought they were so civilised in those days...

CuttedUpPear Fri 08-Mar-13 19:01:44

Am on lockdown in the living room.

CuttedUpPear Fri 08-Mar-13 19:02:34

Olivia stop crashing MN just so you can listen uninterrupted!

HearMyRoar Fri 08-Mar-13 19:13:29

Gosh! Brenda is letting it all out. Go girl! grin

CuttedUpPear Fri 08-Mar-13 19:16:13

Yeah go Brenda! And while you're at it tell him you want a baby!

Sigh...Chris not dead then. Just lying around.

BoreOfWhabylon Fri 08-Mar-13 19:21:24

Yep, weekend cliffhanger as predicted by us.

Do they not realise that TWO lives depend on this? For if Chris lives then tired-looking Paul will surely die, and vice versa. They can't have two deddings on the trot.

Still, great work by Brenda!

JollyGolightly Fri 08-Mar-13 19:21:29

She's back. Tomorrow his eyelids will flicke and his recovery begins..but then what?

Also, I'm selling shares in Tom and Brenda.

NigellaTufnel Fri 08-Mar-13 19:21:36

What's happening?!!! Am out of radio contact

OldBeanbagz Fri 08-Mar-13 19:23:21

Chris is not dead yet. Alice weeping at his bedside.

Looks like Brenda & Tom are going to split up. I think i could have ranted at him for much longer than she did!

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 08-Mar-13 19:25:16

Argh Missed it
how long till on iplayer anyone?

JollyGolightly Fri 08-Mar-13 19:27:47

Yes, oldbean, I agree. It takes a special kind of tosser to turn an ordinary weekday spat over supper into a discussion of the bridge farm veg boxes. Brenda was far too restrained.

BoreOfWhabylon Fri 08-Mar-13 19:29:29

Not until tomorrow pm, I think Olivia.

Brenda should definitely LTB but I rather think they will have a ickle baybee instead.

campion Fri 08-Mar-13 19:43:30

Not sure how Tom has stood Brenda's accent for so long.
It makes my teeth itch.

R4 Fri 08-Mar-13 19:59:21

Oops. I failed.blush
There was much drama and interpersonal relationships and emotion and deep-thought tonight. Presumably we were supposed to reflect, and transfer lessons learned to our own domestic situation.
So what did DH get tonight? "I'm leaving you"? "Darling, I love you"? No, he just got a very terse "shh!"
He really ought to know by now not to speak when TA is on.grin

Tallgiraffe Fri 08-Mar-13 20:09:12

Olivia, the podcast is available of it if you have a smartphone, you can listen that way! I have just listened that way...

Would you like a shower confused ? No, she's just spent 8 hours in Amsterdam and her husband is almost dead, I imagine she'd want to go straight to the hospital!

Go Brenda!

How long before Ifty and Lizzie get jiggy?

HumphreyCobbler Fri 08-Mar-13 20:26:27

Bugger. I forgot to listen.

HumphreyCobbler Fri 08-Mar-13 20:29:25

I don't have a smartphone sad

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 08-Mar-13 20:38:14

It's on iplayer now humphrey

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 08-Mar-13 20:38:25

Indeed go brenda

BoreOfWhabylon Fri 08-Mar-13 21:01:14

It's on The Archers 'catch up' now too. They used to not put it up until the next day.

HumphreyCobbler Fri 08-Mar-13 21:07:27

thanks - off to listen

HumphreyCobbler Fri 08-Mar-13 21:19:12

Brenda! Go girl grin

Tallgiraffe Fri 08-Mar-13 21:40:02

So Jennifer has had a husband, son and son-in-law in ITU in comas. Is she on a loyalty card scheme?! Ruaridh had better watch himself...

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 08-Mar-13 21:52:12


So Jennifer has had a husband, son and son-in-law in ITU in comas. Is she on a loyalty card scheme?! Ruaridh had better watch himself...


Olivia I can't believe you don't know about Grace? shock

She was Phil's girlfriend for ages and they had quite the dramatic on off thing with him snogging other girls and her going out with other blokes then FINALLY they got married. About 6 months in to the marriage Phil got a promotion or some such (he was working for Grace's dad who owned the estate at this point) and they went to Grey Gables for dinner. Grace owned a horse called Midnight and it was stabled there (why?). Grace had just agreed with Phil that they would try for a baby btw. Anyway Grace dropped her earring in the car and went back out to get it. This meant that she observed that the stables were on fire. She rushed back in for everybody else, rushed out again and rushed in to the fire for the darn horse. Whereupon the roof collapsed and she died from her injuries in Phil's arms on the way to hospital (no victory for Felpersham General there). Phil was utterly devastated but a few years later he met Jill and married her. The secure Jill we know is very far from the Jill of those early days who was terribly jealous of the dead (and beautiful) Grace. Grace was well off with a loving family, Jill was an orphan. Even decades later when Lizzie was going out with Grace's 1/2 brother Jill wouldn't meet him.

I think Midnight might have been Christine's actually. Will have to find my book and look it up.

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 08-Mar-13 22:13:54


Olivia I can't believe you don't know about Grace? shock

I am only 35(!)
Thanks though

here is a bit. It's Phil shouting panic stricken for 'Grace, Grace'

Well now I'm in a HUFF. I am 35 too!

<huff, huff, huff>>

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 08-Mar-13 22:17:46

Sorry didn't mean to make you huff.
Thanks off to listen.

harryhausen Fri 08-Mar-13 22:26:38

Can I crash. I've been secretly loving TA for years and no one in my real life gets it.

Tallgiraffe - I'm glad you mentioned Ifty and Elizabeth. I'd been thinking the same. It's so obvious Ifty would fit perfectly into the family.

Tallgiraffe Fri 08-Mar-13 22:27:25

That is serious knowledge Northern, don't huff - sit proudly on a hay bale of Archers facts grin

duchesse Fri 08-Mar-13 22:27:37

Well after the proper stepfather job he was doing this evening I'd say his fate is sealed...

CuttedUpPear Fri 08-Mar-13 22:32:31

I cannot BEAR Elizabeth's faux-husky voice. So tender and concerned the WHOLE BLOODY TIME.

she sounds like Nigella on downers.

WhatSheSaid Fri 08-Mar-13 22:34:26

Grace dying in the fire is quite famous because, as someone mentioned upthread, the episode was broadcast at the same time that ITV were broadcasting their first programme. It was a big spoiler to try to keep people with the BBC! Now the BBC seem to be trying to get rid of the Archers, if you believe some of the posts on the recently-defunct BBC Archers message board.

PseudoBadger Fri 08-Mar-13 22:35:12

So Ifty, what attracted you to your millionaire wife?

Waswondering Fri 08-Mar-13 22:42:42

Lol at Nigella on downers smilesmilesmilesmilesmile

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 08-Mar-13 23:18:58


Even decades later when Lizzie was going out with Grace's 1/2 brother Jill wouldn't meet him.

Who was this?!?!

HearMyRoar Fri 08-Mar-13 23:24:35

But psuedo isn't all being held in trust for the boy. Does Lizzy actually have a bean to her name? Ifty was def getting in with the kids there grin

GrendelsMum Fri 08-Mar-13 23:29:01

I reckon Lizzy must have something herself for this eventuality.

But given that Lewis seems to have been able to move into Lower Locksley as the second husband of the owner's dead mother, I reckon that the second husband of the owner's still living mother has a reasonably good claim.

PseudoBadger Fri 08-Mar-13 23:34:44

Poor Lily, she'll be the one who ends up destitute.

His name was Robin Fairbrother. Ir didn't come to anything. The significant relationships in Lizzie's life are with Cameron Fraser - who dumped her when pregnant in order to flee the fraud squad (she had an abortion) - and Nigel.

Looking at plot summaries btw I reckon I started listening in 2006 when I was 9!

PseudoBadger Fri 08-Mar-13 23:38:34

Well you're not 35 then.....

grin 1986! (wishful thinking!)

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 08-Mar-13 23:46:27

And yes, that Trustee meeting was interesting - who was on the board?!?

WhatSheSaid Fri 08-Mar-13 23:47:00

I remember Cameron Fraser! Dumped Lizzie is a cafe or something, didn't he? Went off to the toilet or to get a cup of tea or something and never came back. She was pg and had a termination causing huge ructions with Shula who was dealing with infertility and offered to bring the baby up as her own if Lizzie would have it...

I remember when Shula was going to marry Mark Hebden the first time (then it got postponed, then they did eventually marry). They were arguing over whether to put pink towels on the wedding list! (This was in about 1980/1981....)

Yes, Cameron Fraser dumped Lizzie at the airport cafe. Didn't he also have a thing with Shula then with Debbie?

Motorway services I think What. Rat! Poor Shula sad

Was it Simon Pemberton who had a thing with both Shula and Debbie?

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 08-Mar-13 23:52:24

SO how did Lizzie end up with Nige then?

Yes, Northern, it was Simon Pemberton! Not Cameron Fraser (who was with Lizzie but dumped her). And Caroline had a thing with Simon's father Guy IIRC?

Nige went out with Shula before Lizzie (when he was being MrSnowy). Can't remember how Nige and Lizzie got together.

I seem to recall that Nigel and Lizzie got closer as she recovered from Cameron the git and he started trying to make Lower Loxley viable after his father's death. iT was one of those things where people who had a flinbg become friends and then fall in love properly.

Caroline was married to Guy (before his heart attack). That's why she owned the Dower HOuse - inherited it.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Sat 09-Mar-13 00:05:00

I vaguely remember Nige getting Lizzie back to his place with 'Champagne, George Michael on the stereo - what else have you got planned Nigel?'
'Twas Careless Whisper I think. Can't remember the previous storyline though - but I know he had quite a soft spot for Shula and Jill.

One of the first episodes I heard had Nigel nice but dim being the teller for a barn dance after learning it from a book, and making a right pig's ear of it - classic.

RussiansOnTheSpree Sat 09-Mar-13 07:57:34

Norman yes, I have a very strong memory of listening to the omnibus where Shula told Mark she just didn't love him enough. It was very sad. I was about 12 I suppose. I grew up listening to the archers, though. My mum and dad both loved it, I can't remember a time when I didn't listen.

It's not been the same since Nelson died though. sad

RussiansOnTheSpree Sat 09-Mar-13 07:59:32

I was very sad when Nigel didn't marry Shula. sad I've never really like Lizzie.

RussiansOnTheSpree Sat 09-Mar-13 08:00:11

Simon Pemberton was awful. He bashed both Shula and Debbie.

ppeatfruit Sat 09-Mar-13 09:10:41

Blmey Russians Nelson Gabriel grin I could never work out if I fancied him or if he was as camp as a row of tents because he WAS IFYKWIM!!! "me ole pal me ole booty" ( I know I got it wrong upthread grin)

It's strange that Guy was really nice but Simon was so awful. And do you remember Robin the vicar that Caroline was ging to marry (but didn't after the accident where Mark was killed and she was in a coma).

ppeatfruit Sat 09-Mar-13 09:24:08

Oh yes Robin the vicar he was fanciable! (sorry a bit of a one track mind grin)

Terpsichore Sat 09-Mar-13 09:24:44

I remember when Dastardly Brian was shagging Caroline shock grin. They used to sneak off and roll about in passionate clinches in ditches (it was a dry summer at the time iirc). All these years later Caroline is respectability personified but she was a goer back in the 80s.

Given half a chance Brian would be at it again, though. Dreadful serial adulterer. JennyDarling still gets rather twitchy and brittle if Caroline hoves into view.

Caroline felt very bad about the affair though.

IndridCold Sat 09-Mar-13 09:52:34

IIRC Caroline actually married Guy Pemberton, then he died. Didn't it cause some tension between Shula and Caroline when Simon turned out to be a bad'un?

Guy and Caroline went on their first dirty weekend to Southwold, and by chance I was there at the same time staying with friends. We did actually look at people wondering if it could be them < takes TA way too seriously >.

Tallgiraffe Sat 09-Mar-13 10:06:33

This thread is making me disproportionately happy.

Oh yes, Brian has had a few affairs over the years. They never did find Caroline's horse that went missing, did they? Wonders if it ended up in a Tesco burger

ppeatfruit Sat 09-Mar-13 10:29:36

It is so funny that Annabel obviously clocked Brine but didn't /doesn't? give a shit about him. There was tension between Matt and Brine over her I reckon 'cos Matt. nearly got what Brine wanted his wicked way with her.

RussiansOnTheSpree Sat 09-Mar-13 11:07:16

Ppeat I loved Nelson. But Me ole pal me ole beauty was his dad, Walter. I remember listening to walter when I was a little child but I don't remember much about him, IYSWIM. But I've got lots of the BBC compilations so I've heard lots of him since (stuff like the post office robbery etc which was long before my time but which my mum used to talk about).

ppeatfruit Sat 09-Mar-13 11:13:12

Yes I know it was Walter Russians but I'd quoted wrongly upthread and thinking of Nelson reminded me of that as well as of one of the most unlikely father and sons ever! grin

RussiansOnTheSpree Sat 09-Mar-13 11:39:03

grin Nelson was wonderful. I remember when Walter died he called him the sweetest old man he ever knew. sad Walter was always so proud of Nelson. And Nelson often treated Walter badly. sad But Walter always forgave him.

ppeatfruit Sat 09-Mar-13 12:16:33

Yes I remember sniffling over that sad Nelson was a REAL character IMO Kenton doesn't compare! (even though I suspect the S.W's think he does grin)

RocknRollNerd Sat 09-Mar-13 12:21:49

<equally disproportionately happy at the thread>

Have just listened to the podcast of Friday... have a horrible feeling that Chris is going to be dedded and then realising how fragile life is etc (as if they shouldn't already realise) Tom and Brenda are going to get hitched, rustle up the house on the estate and try for happily ever after. When in fact we all know that what should happen is Brenda should LTB!

JollyGolightly Sat 09-Mar-13 13:56:34

I love this thread, too. There's nobody I know IRL with this level of historical knowledge.

I think I first started listening when I was at school and TA would be on while I did my prep, but I didn't get properly into it until later on. I've also missed huge chunks at various points. The first big storylines I remember are Brian/Siobhan/jeJennifer, Helen and Greg, and Sid and Jolene shagging in the shower.

HumphreyCobbler Sat 09-Mar-13 14:24:08

I was at the green gathering many years ago when it was still quite small and new. We were having tea in the Groovy Movie Tent when the Archers theme music came on - you have NEVER seen such a massive influx of dreadlocked hippy folk moving so fast. It was the Sid/Jolene in the shower episode. Everyone was laughing and was brilliant.

ppeatfruit Sat 09-Mar-13 14:34:27

JollyGolightly as i skim read your post I didn't notice the commas separating the list of 7 archer characters so for a moment was thinking they were ALL in the shower grin !!!!

HumphreyI must have been working at the time of the Sid and Jolene in the shower thing I know I missed it for some reason I was pissed off but heard it was totally revolting!

LondonMother Sat 09-Mar-13 18:52:14

Way back in the early 80s when Nigel and Shula were an item, Nigel stayed over at Brookfield one night, sneaked into what he thought was Shula's bed and found himself cuddling up to Phil. Wonderful stuff.

[also disproportionately happy in this thread - it's like the TA MB used to be like many, many years ago before it got taken over by nitpickers]

CuttedUpPear Sat 09-Mar-13 19:08:28

I loved Nigel. It was tragic the way they made his life idyllic and him even more loveable just before bumping him off (heartstrings were pulled!)

I don't understand how Nelson is related to everyone, and how Lewis at Lizzy's house is related to anyone at all? and why does he loive there?

It reminds me of some relatives of mine who had a bloke live in their house for DECADES who wasn't related to any of them and yet appeared in all the family photos.

CuttedUpPear Sat 09-Mar-13 19:08:51

Live there not love there obvs.

LondonMother Sat 09-Mar-13 19:32:02

When TA first began, Dan Archer was the good farmer and Walter Gabriel was the bad farmer (a role taken by Joe and Eddie Grundy in later years). This made it possible for the Ministry of Agriculture to get its propaganda across by having Dan explain to Walter where he was going wrong whenever the warble fly struck or the pigs didn't fatten up to plan.

However, because it was also a soap, they decided to give Walter a ne'er-do-well son who was suspected of involvement in a Borsetshire version of the Great Train Robbery, thus causing Walter a great deal of heartache. Nelson disappeared for a while, I think (this was long before I was listening but I am another saddo enthusiast with lots of Archers books). Later, he came back to Ambridge and opened a wine bar in Borchester which was where all the yuppies hung out in the 80s (this included Shula, Mark, Caroline, Nigel, Tim Beauchamp and, later, Lizzie).

Nelson was an utterly wonderful character, because having cast Jack May for the part, the production team wisely decided to let him use his own gorgeous voice rather than trying to get him to do a junior version of Walter's Mummerset accent. Thus Nelson sounded like a member of the Royal Family, which was rather odd given his roots as a member of the Ambridge working classes, but hey! he was so witty and urbane, who cared about plausibility?

There was a suggestion that Nelson swung both ways but he was very fond indeed of Nigel's mother, Julia, and they became good friends. He also turned out to have a long-lost daughter, Rosemary, who was a police officer, rather to his chagrin.

Eventually he left Ambridge in mysterious circumstances and was later reported to have died in South America. There was an odd incident when people were spotted digging up the garden of Honeysuckle Cottage which had been his home (Adam and Ian live there now). This may have been to find the loot from the train robbery.

Happy days.

Thankyou. This was all an important part of my childhood. I can hear Walter's voice in my head right now.

RussiansOnTheSpree Sat 09-Mar-13 20:28:01

Nelson was only related to Walter. Who had lived (and farmed) in the village for centuries. They were friends especially with Mrs P who was Sid Perks's first wife's mother. But that's it. Walter and Dan went way back. As did Joe Grundy and Dan I think. Nelson was very friendly with a certain type of person - Kenton, Lizzie, Nigel, Nigel's mum (and her sister) - basically either educated people or crooks or both. Lewis was I think an architect originally, he was drafted in to help with one of the endless revamps of lower loxley, then he married Julia. I think he was seen as a sort of Nelson replacement (Nelson used to flirt with Julia. And Rosemary).

RussiansOnTheSpree Sat 09-Mar-13 20:32:36

d'oh. Of course, Rosemary was his daughter. Which means I can't remember Julia's sisters name. The robbery was either a post van or post office. Nelson was acquitted though. I have the audiobook that includes the relevant episodes, because it was before I was born. A couple of times Nelson 'did' his 'real' accent which was hilarious. But he preferred his lovely lovely Theoden King voice. As would any right thinking person.

When I was a kid I was also very find of colonel Danby and mrs Antrobus. I don't think they were related to anyone else, just people living in the village.

HumphreyCobbler Sat 09-Mar-13 20:34:41

I loved Mrs Antrobus too.

(RussiansontheSpree - your name is making me think of Marlows and the Traitor - am I right about that?)

Abra1d Sat 09-Mar-13 20:57:37

And who remembers the Simon/Lizzie episode when he left her, PREGNANT with his child, in a motorway services station, and drove off? I remember cooking a Sunday lunch and stuff dripping off spoons onto the floor because I was so shocked. Nasty, nasty man. And poor old Shula was desperate to conceive at the time and there was an awful moment when Lizzie had to tell her she was having an abortion and it was very painful.

Abra1d Sat 09-Mar-13 20:58:04

Julia's sister was called Joan. Is called, because I believe she is still alive.

ppeatfruit Sat 09-Mar-13 21:00:42

Oh i liked the 'dog woman' Mrs Antrobus as well.

Noodled Sat 09-Mar-13 21:02:25

Oh mrs antrobus, she had such a great name.

The shower scene though was grim.

RussiansOnTheSpree Sat 09-Mar-13 21:04:22

No, Julia's real name was Joan. She tarted it up for the theatre.

Mrs P wasn't Polly's mum. She was Peggy's. Way, way back Peggy and Jack (the first Jack (Archer)) ran the Bull.

RussiansOnTheSpree Sat 09-Mar-13 21:06:56

Ellen. Her name was Ellen. That's been bugging me all evening! grin

choccyp1g Sat 09-Mar-13 21:07:05

Julia's sister was celled Ellen or Helen.

Abra1d Sat 09-Mar-13 21:07:53

Ooops, sorry!

RussiansOnTheSpree Sat 09-Mar-13 21:11:25

Norther oh god yes, that's right, I always used to get confused because of perks and Perkins And my mum used to get annoyed with me for not having like a spreadsheet of all the genealogy in my head! grin

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Sat 09-Mar-13 22:14:39

I hardly ever drop in these days, but I did listen every day for years - had forgotten the lovely Walter and the divine Nelson. Remember Mrs P - wasn't she Jennifer's cleaner after Betty left when Brian had been sexually harrassing her. Brian was disgusted that the new cleaner was rather old and looked like the back of a bus.

Other episodes that stand out: the anniversary one where Texza Wogan opened the village fête and Judy Dench was Freda Fry. She made some embarrassing cock-up and declared she'd 'neverr talk in public agenn!'

Dame Edna Everadge locking horns with Linda Snell over her Eau De Nil bedroom scheme.

Anyone else remember Lucy Davis as the original Hayley?

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Sat 09-Mar-13 22:26:21

Tezza Wogan.

IndridCold Sat 09-Mar-13 22:27:56

No, no, no. Judy Dench played Prue Forest, Tom Forest's (previously silent) wife. Colonel Danby used to live at Ambridge Hall (now occupied by the Snells) with Aunt Laura (who was an Aussie I think, and I have no idea whose aunt she was either confused).

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Sat 09-Mar-13 22:41:00

Ah yes, 'twas Prue - knew it was a 'silent' character!

CuttedUpPear Sat 09-Mar-13 22:44:26

This is why I get Lewis and Nelson confused isn't it? They are/were both camp as a row of tents but aren't gay. And as someone said upthread, one was a replacement for the other.

Well it worked on me hmm

Theas18 Sat 09-Mar-13 22:50:08

How this thread lives for's making me insanely happy. I dabbled in the archers message board but it was never the same after mr ceri left, and now they've closed it.

Great to know there are people here who might even have the archers as a ring tone too! (though ring me at a minute or so past 7 and I'm likely to stand there going"oh they are a but early today" rather then picking the phone up)

CuttedUpPear Sun 10-Mar-13 07:54:38

I can't believe they have closed Mustardland. I used to frequent the boards there quite a lot.
Encyclopaedic knowledge of their subject, those listeners!

LondonMother Sun 10-Mar-13 08:04:55

Mrs Antrobus was a blow-in, and a very successful one. She lived at Nightingale Farm with her 'gels', a large pack of Great Danes. She bred them, I think. Her husband Teddy had died some years earlier. They had lived in Kenya, I think, for many decades. No children. She got fleeced by Cameron, as did Caroline, as they discovered when they both boarded a flight to Scotland to attend the creditors' meeting after he fled the country, having abandoned Elizabeth at the motorway services.

Lizzie was prepared to go with him. I can't remember what she knew, but she must have had suspicions that he was a wrong 'un - you don't flee the country at a minute's notice without good cause, do you? This somewhat tempered my sympathy for her during her time of trouble while she was deciding to have the abortion. Nigel was, of course, a tower of strength, and waited and waited till she was ready to respond to his love. Oh, how I miss Nigel.

Mrs A was very close to Hayley and Roy. She had been their landlady for a time. I hoped she would leave Nightingale Farm to them, but sadly she didn't.

Just to round off the Mrs P/Jack Archer stuff, Jack Archer was the eldest of the three children of Dan and Doris. Phil and Christine were the other two. Jack was quite a bit older and had no interest in farming. He was an alcoholic, so running The Bull was not a good career move, and eventually he had to be hospitalised. It is a touch odd that Peggy then married another Jack but Jack Woolley had been introduced before Jack Archer died, I think. Her mum set her an example, as her second husband was Mr Perkins, just like her first.

And finally.... Aunt Laura was the widow of Dan Archer's brother Frank, who had emigrated to New Zealand as a young man. She lived in Ambridge Hall. Colonel Danby was her lodger and chum. She wanted to leave the Hall to him but didn't sign the will, so he was turfed out and moved to Bristol, never to be heard again, which was a shame, as he was a darling. He was played by Ballard Berkeley who played the Major in Fawlty Towers (very similar character). If we believed that the scriptwriters do the whole thing by numbers (perish the thought) Aunt Laura's place in the scheme of things was effortlessly taken by Lynda when she and Robert bought the Hall from Aunt Laura's great-niece in New Zealand (the beneficiary of the unsigned will debacle). Busybody, occasionally tactless, heart in the right place. Every box ticked, except having Archer for a surname.

ppeatfruit Sun 10-Mar-13 08:49:56

Oh LondonMother you made me cry about Nigel and Lizzie sad you've either go a book or a very good memory!! Thanks I had forgotten a fair bit of that. I DO remember Mrs.P someone who you could imagine adjusting her bosom and looking down her glasses at you grin

LondonMother Sun 10-Mar-13 09:01:31

Memory is stuffed with Archers trivia at the expense of lots of useful stuff! If only I could make a living out of it...

ppeatfruit Sun 10-Mar-13 09:17:29

You probably could T.A. S.W.'s would thank you I'm sure!

LondonMother Sun 10-Mar-13 09:21:32

They have an archivist and a database, incredibly enough given the mistakes that often creep in! Still, that's all part of the fun of being an Archers listener for me.

RocknRollNerd Sun 10-Mar-13 09:40:45

It annoyed me intensely when the BBC revamped the Archers website and removed the family tree as that was a good way to check who was related to who. Even after years of listening I still get slightly muddled at times.

Bizarrely The Archers had a huge following amongst 20 something accountants when I worked in a Big6/5/4 firm. We all used to travel to clients miles and miles away and would listen to the R4 Comedies on the way home, the Archers was a natural follow on. The benchmark that you were working too many hours/too far away was if you got sucked into the 15 minute plays that came on after Front Row as that meant you weren't getting home until nearly 8pm! I vividly remember discussing Marjorie Antrobus' demise with a client the following day (rather than the much duller amortisation of goodwill we were supposed to be reviewing!). In fact many of my major Archers' moments are inextricably linked to clients - eg I was working up in the Midlands when John got dedded.

Interestingly this week's preview blurbs on the BBC website are Chris/Alice free - looks like they're trying to leave us unspoilered...

choccyp1g Sun 10-Mar-13 10:47:59

I thought Mrs Antrobus kept Afhgans. Joe Grundy always called her "the Dog Lady" but in an affectionate sort of way.

LondonMother Sun 10-Mar-13 10:49:32

Doh! Yes, Afghans. Memory stuffed full of not always accurate Archers trivia! David was nasty to her once when one of the gels got out and scared a sheep - or something along those lines.

Lilymaid Sun 10-Mar-13 10:59:53

Shula and Neil were very close when they were teenagers - Neil was working at Brookfield then. They could have been an item, but TA class etiquette prevented a romantic attachment between the farmer's daughter and the hired hand.

choccyp1g Sun 10-Mar-13 11:13:18

There's a dog name thread going on nearby, makes me wonder how many Archers animal names I can recall

Will's dog - Meg
Nigel's horse - Topper (I never even knew he had a horse of his own until he died)
Jack Wooley's Dog - Captain
Peggy's cat - Timmy
The LLamas - Wolfgang Constance and Salieri

any more?

ppeatfruit Sun 10-Mar-13 11:31:27

choccy Jo grundy used to call her the "dog woman" not very affectionately more lugubriously. hmm I don't think I'm wrong LondonMother will know grin

choccyp1g Sun 10-Mar-13 11:47:41

Think your right ppeafruit, "Dog woman" sounds more like Joe.

On an almost totally separate subject, does anyone else agree that Ed Grundy has got a really sexy voice? I've never noticed it before, but this week he seemed to have a lovely warm tone, expecially when messing about with his mate with Jazza.

ppeatfruit Sun 10-Mar-13 11:54:05

Yes I've noticed it too sooo much nicer than Willyum's squeak!

I've just listened to the omnibus (with a box of tissues grin) and noticed that Alice wanted to fly into Birmingham to save her dad having to meet her from Heathrow hence the going all over the place and taking a long time and she did it herself so a very independent young lady grin

Lilymaid Sun 10-Mar-13 12:06:40

Mrs A always referred to her afghans as "the girls". I have a feeling that she once admitted that she had no children because Teddy batted for the other side (or similar euphemism).

duchesse Sun 10-Mar-13 13:00:03

I bet Brine could have done Heathrow to Felpesham in under 3 hours in his powerful Brinemobile (I'm imagining he drives a BMW or something) and would have been more than willing to do so. No, Alice insisted on flying to Birmigham via Timbuktu to avoid being to arrive back less than 48+ hours after the accident and thereby increase the will she/won't she get back in time suspense factor. <cynic>

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 10-Mar-13 13:25:35

OMG so many posts
I think I need an archers book!

Waswondering Sun 10-Mar-13 13:28:52

I think Chris will be dedded tonight as it's Mothers Day, thereby being angst ridden for Susan, Jennifer and of course Alice, who will evermore associate it with his death ...

ppeatfruit Sun 10-Mar-13 13:30:37

Yes as I said upthread i don't think much of Alice's organisational or assertiveness skills she probably won't get offered the job anyway! but i'm overthinking it. You're right duchesse it was a suspense device by the S.W.'s. grin

Tallgiraffe Sun 10-Mar-13 13:44:45

Olivia - surely on such an important day at Felpersham General, this should be in threads of the day? <ever hopeful cheeky emoticon>

GrendelsMum Sun 10-Mar-13 14:19:59

Maybe Alice is pregnant to make Mothers Day even more of a tragic and meaningless festival for her for ever more?

GrendelsMum Sun 10-Mar-13 14:20:13

i.e. and Christopher will die today

Theas18 Sun 10-Mar-13 14:33:08

Agree they are deading him for sure. Does anyone else think this is shaking Ambridge to the core for more that nigels death.
Much as I loved Nigel, that was"shaking the archer family" rather then the woke village.

Apparently Neil Kinnock used to refer to the show as "The Grundys and their oppressors" which is what DH an I call it now

Also I still giggle at Billy Connoly saying that the theme tune should be our national anthem, much more cheerful, and just imagine the soldiers at trooping the colour! smile

Terpsichore Sun 10-Mar-13 14:48:40

Olivia there is this

Not sure it would have some of the newest characters in it, but it's handy! I bought one for my dad who could never, ever work out who was related to who...

I too was highly annoyed when they closed the Archers messageboard, but I've found the one most people seem to have gone to instead. And there has been much ridicule of Alice having to spend 8 hours in Amsterdam before she could get a flight back - there are loads every day apparently, it's almost like catching buses.

I do love the way people take it all so seriously and work things out. The financial storylines always bring all sorts of professional accountants and suchlike out of the woodwork to analyse the likelihood of mortgages and what-have-you. Actually I would be too terrified to be a scriptwriter because you can't get away with anything grin

SpringHeeledJack Sun 10-Mar-13 15:15:40


<nicks 'grundys and their oppressors'>

choccyp1g Sun 10-Mar-13 15:17:07

Am I alone in thinking that the Ifty/Freddie counselling session was brought in because some expert pointed out that it would be unlikely to get kicked in the chest when shoeing the back foot of a horse?.. because the horses foot would be pointing the wrong way?

ppeatfruit Sun 10-Mar-13 15:21:26

grendelsmum NOOOOOOOOOshock sad

I am also loving this thread grin. Seriously impressed by knowledge of TA trivia.

I am 35 (same age as Roy Tucker) and have been listening since childhood. I drifted for a while after leaving home but got sucked back in by Brine/Siobhan affair.

My twopenneth on the Chris/Alice thing is that if Chris is deaded then Alice is in some ways freer to follow her engineering dreams. Sure we'll have to endure her weeping and wailing for a while... but then she's free to head off to Canada or elsewhere. Whereas if Christoferrrr is alive but seriously disabled, she's duty bound to stay in Ambridge...

ppeatfruit Sun 10-Mar-13 16:42:00

Or there could be a special disabled unit with new amazing cures in Vancouver!!

seeker Sun 10-Mar-13 17:09:52

Do you think Ifty could be........^grooming^..... Freddie? We haven't had a paedophile in Ambridge before.......

Tallgiraffe Sun 10-Mar-13 17:20:40

Seeker shock noooooo - I love his voice blush

nah, think Ifty is a straightforward new beau for tragic Lizzie. Although they'll prob drag it out for ages with her feeling guilty about Nigel.

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 10-Mar-13 18:33:12


I am 35 (same age as Roy Tucker)

Ooh me too. And my DS1 was born around the same time as Abigail.
Actually no, wait, think we found out we were pregnant the same time, wasn't abby early?!?

JollyGolightly Sun 10-Mar-13 18:46:14

Yes, Abbie was prem, after they had a bit of difficulty conceiving her, which was pretty tough since Kate has so little trouble reproducing.

Another child of 1977 here smile

...and I have a knot of tension in my tummy about tonight. Please live, Chris.

seeker Sun 10-Mar-13 18:49:39

I like my new "evil Ifty" theory. I think I'll run with it.

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 10-Mar-13 19:02:34

Tuning in...."'alice faces an anxious wait"
MY moneys on not deaded yet

duchesse Sun 10-Mar-13 19:02:51

Doesn't sound from the blurb just now as though Chris is going to be resolved today either...

duchesse Sun 10-Mar-13 19:03:06

x posts with Olivia!

HearMyRoar Sun 10-Mar-13 19:05:55

Oh darn, I made sure dd was in bed a bit early just so I could listen and now their not even going to bother killing him?! How inconsiderate. hmm

MrsDeVere Sun 10-Mar-13 19:06:58

I wish they would just get on with it than Alice could piss off to Canada
<lowers tone>

RocknRollNerd Sun 10-Mar-13 19:07:01

Damn for a minute there I thought they really were going to sattc with Ben bring liquidised grin

MrsDeVere Sun 10-Mar-13 19:07:09


RocknRollNerd Sun 10-Mar-13 19:08:37

All this cooking has a real "opening sequence of Casualty" feel to it!

MrsDeVere Sun 10-Mar-13 19:08:39

I used to have that Archers book. I lent it to someone.
BIG mistake.

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 10-Mar-13 19:09:44


Damn for a minute there I thought they really were going to sattc with Ben bring liquidised grin


duchesse Sun 10-Mar-13 19:10:09

Wow, David's Mr Angry today. Happy Mothers' Day!

duchesse Sun 10-Mar-13 19:11:56

Time for Pip to leave home.

HearMyRoar Sun 10-Mar-13 19:12:01

David's always Mr angry. God he's annoying.

HearMyRoar Sun 10-Mar-13 19:12:37

An improvement!

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 10-Mar-13 19:15:34


duchesse Sun 10-Mar-13 19:15:57

I feel cheated and used now.

HearMyRoar Sun 10-Mar-13 19:16:18

He really is something isn't he!

duchesse Sun 10-Mar-13 19:16:27

He's just forward-planning. A bit too much.

Selks Sun 10-Mar-13 19:18:10

Aaargh missed it! So what happened?? Not deaded yet I gather. Just got Brian being his usual sensitive self confused grin

MrsDeVere Sun 10-Mar-13 19:18:36

Ohhhh Briiiiiiaaaaaaaaan


Selks Sun 10-Mar-13 19:19:43

Ha ha

Bluestocking Sun 10-Mar-13 19:25:48

I reckon that Elizabeth and Ifty are going to pioneer the Asian wedding facilities at Lower Loxley, with an embroidered pandal in the grounds, a fantastic Indian buffet for 500 guests, and Lizzy in a sparkling lenga choli with masses of jewels.

MrsDeVere Sun 10-Mar-13 19:27:50

If they do several citizens of Ambridge will have to strop off in protest.
Nothing racist of course, it will be the principal of the thing hmm

Lilymaid Sun 10-Mar-13 19:29:33

So Jenny is bored with Chris and his accident so can't be bothered to go over to the hospital and Brine is planning ahead for Alice for when she is free of Chris. No wonder Alice couldn't wait to get back to her cottage.

duchesse Sun 10-Mar-13 19:29:41

Shula with a pitchfork leading the fray.

PseudoBadger Sun 10-Mar-13 20:00:16

Well a starter husband surely won't have much fight in him will he sad

NetworkGuy Sun 10-Mar-13 20:03:15

"I reckon that the second husband of the owner's still living mother has a reasonably good claim."

sorry, you lost me...

Great thread, had been meaning to see if this was getting discussed and then I see just how many posts there have been... Nice comments on the way about different people and snippets I remember (though I tend to listen much less than I did between 1990 and about 2005). Quite a few 'milestones' in there with deaths etc, and even I remember a few accidents and J's OD on Ketamine.

Also another link for you to view: > 60 things ... about The Archers <

NetworkGuy Sun 10-Mar-13 20:11:53

I never knew there was a copy of the Ambridge Village website online...
link (last entry February 2012 due to budget considerations)

JollyGolightly Sun 10-Mar-13 20:23:36

Being an unsentimental farmer, Brine probably feels that Chris should put out of his misery. There would then be an argument about what to do with his remains, just like when Alice wanted to bury her old pony in one of the arable fields.

hanahsaunt Sun 10-Mar-13 20:23:40

Current thinking is that actually Tom is going to be dedded and cooked in sausages to cunningly disguise the crime (not sure what that would do to the organic-ness of them though) and Chris will wake up miraculously and run off to Canada (with Alice) and be the official blacksmith to the RCMP. So there.

Yes, why couldn't Tom Archer have been attacked by a particularly grumpy pig? (possibly a herd of pigs). He's always been irritating.

PseudoBadger Sun 10-Mar-13 20:45:48

I've heard that a herd of angry pigs could eat a man grin

heronsfly Sun 10-Mar-13 20:46:24

Yes, great idea hanah, Tom should be deaded, and defiantly by one of his own pigs grin

Pigs are intelligent creatures, they've probably had enough of his whining and 'business studies A-level' speak too... Futureproofing blah.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Sun 10-Mar-13 21:04:58

What? What? Do I have to start listening again?

Tallgiraffe Sun 10-Mar-13 21:19:34

Shotgun - yes! When did you stop? How much filling in do you need?

HearMyRoar Sun 10-Mar-13 21:22:25

No need to put him in the sausages, a herd of pigs can gobble up a body in no time at all. I learnt that from watching Deadwood so it must be true.

SpringHeeledJack Sun 10-Mar-13 21:26:35

I think Tony should be deaded by Tom's pigs actually

the whiny old get

no wonder Tom and Helen are awful

hanahsaunt Sun 10-Mar-13 22:31:07

Clearly Brenda has to let the pigs loose though to enable the mass female emancipation that will truly shake Ambridge to the core.

Waswondering Sun 10-Mar-13 22:49:22

"Likes" HA's posts! smile

May I point out that the lovely, sensible Pat would be utterly heartbroken at having another son die in agricultural circumstances? Not mention the risk of Helen sinking in to anorexia again - and you know how much fun that was to listen to last time! No, sorry but Tom must live. Just not with Brenda.

I thought tonight was really dreary. I do not care what happened to the Brookfield Sunday lunch!

I know they can't pay all of the actors all of the time but we could at least have a reference to Alice's siblings wondering how her squashed husband is getting on.

My obstetrical history matches Kate btw. Dd1 and Phoebe, dd2 was born a few days after Nolly and when Kate announced she was up duffed with Sipho around the time I was expecting dd3 I really started to get a complex about it!. If she gets pg again I will be very nervous.....

IntrepidFox Sun 10-Mar-13 23:04:09

NL - I shared my pregnancy with the Cheese Queen. I win.

seeker Sun 10-Mar-13 23:05:31

It's all very weird. Where is the saintly Adam?
NL - don't forget that for some reason, mumsnet hates Pat - I have no idea why.

I LOVE Pat. Does anybody remember how fab she was with Kathy when poor Kathy was raped by the chef?

RussiansOnTheSpree Sun 10-Mar-13 23:41:10

I dislike Pat intensely. I remember how vile she was to Hayley. If it wasn't for Hayley they wouldn't have any pigs. And then they treated her like shit.