Please slap me - I feel sorry for Tom

(65 Posts)
DuffyMoon Sun 14-Apr-13 20:08:46

I was shouting at the radio a few weeks ago when it was sausage this, ready meal that...but now I feel sorry for him - AIBU ?

ArtexMonkey Sun 14-Apr-13 20:21:36

Yes, yabvu. He knows he doesn't make Brenda happy, and she's flat out told him they want different things. If he'd been a bit more self sufficient and supportive of her when she had that job in Leicester was it? instead of moaning and groaning and requiring her to spend her weekends stocking the freezer for his teas for the week, she wouldn't have packed it in and be stuck in Amside misery.

MarianForrester Sun 14-Apr-13 22:07:17

Yes, you are! Tugging at your heart strings with his meat products, where will end? grin

TreeLuLa Sun 14-Apr-13 22:08:19

Eugh. He is such a boring drip.

YABu grin

DuffyMoon Mon 15-Apr-13 07:33:08

he just sounded so sad sobbing on his mothers shoulder... <<hits self round head>>

PseudoBadger Mon 15-Apr-13 07:36:30

No one has ever had the balls to ditch him before. That's what has shaken him. It's not about Brenda.

Soupa Mon 15-Apr-13 07:38:27

He is awful but yeah I feel for him too. Am very changeable

OnTheNingNangNong Mon 15-Apr-13 07:40:40

I feel sorry for him, but I feel for Brenda more. I really don't know how she put up with his selfishness for so long.

Gigondas Mon 15-Apr-13 07:48:53

I do feel sorry for him but why Brenda tolerated him so long is beyond me. When she was being so lovely when Vicky was worried about the baby I remembered how nice she was ( and her mum was).

IMO the best of pats kids went under a tractor as Both Helen and Tom are resistable.

outtolunchagain Mon 15-Apr-13 07:51:47

I feel sorry for him too , I posted on the other thread . I can't see what is wrong with a young man being focused on his career( but then I live with a man who has always been like that!).

That farm has to support 4 people as none of them , apart from Tom , has any other source of income. Two are nearing retirement age and one is a single parent . Tom is the only one really going full pelt , he has a lot of responsibility and it seems that no one seems to care that much about him.

Pat constantly exhorts him to work harder in the farm , Brenda takes a low paid job so she doesn't have to commute ( admit he could have been more supportive ) and then moans because he is work obsessed,all the young farmers I know of that age are much more like Tom, they have to be , it's the only way to make a living.

lottiegarbanzo Mon 15-Apr-13 07:58:44

He has been ditched before - he was traumatised by Tamsin the supermarket buyer, who outclassed him entirely in Machiavellian whiles. That's partly why Brenda's girl-next-door qualities appealed and probably why he couldn't compute the idea of her as a driven career-woman.

PseudoBadger Mon 15-Apr-13 07:59:36

Ah yes Tamsin!

lottiegarbanzo Mon 15-Apr-13 08:03:32

The problem wasn't working hard per se, it was being blinkered and lacking empathy. It's possible to work long hours and care about your GF's day, how she feels and take some interest in what she wants from life, rather than assuming her aspirations match yours. It's not working on the sausages that people object to, it's thinking and talking about nothing else.

R4 Mon 15-Apr-13 08:49:58

YABU. He has reaped what he has sowed. (d'ya like the farming metaphorgrin

He is 32 years old. If he really was the hot-shot businessman he thinks he is then he would be on his way by now. He is small-time, on a shoe-string with delusions of grandeur. I think that the ready-meals sum him up: he thinks that they are 'something' because he sticks the word gourmet in front of the name whereas they are nothing more fancy than the meatballs or chili that you or I whip up at home.
He should either be a charisma-free workaholic who makes oodles of money or he should be an empathetic family man who brings in his fair share to his two-wage household. At the moment, he has the downside of both and none of the upsides.
I don't see where we are getting the idea that Tom is responsible for Bridge Farm's finances. I don't see Brine expecting his brood to support him; if anything, it's the other way round. Moike isn't expecting Roy or Brenda to keep him. And so on and so on - I don't see any other family expecting the next generation to subsidise them and their lifestyle choices.
If Tom really was as ambitious as he says then he would have left Ambridge to become a middle manager for Duchy Originals / the Co-op / Rachel's Organics by now. You would think that he would look at his cousin James and think 'if that idiot can make money then so can I'.

I think the ultimate low point was when he had to force himself to remember to 'organise' some spontaneous fun.

outtolunchagain Mon 15-Apr-13 15:00:46

It's not Tom that has to support them its the farm that has to. If the farm doesn't make money what are they all going to live on ? Fresh air.

And that is exactly Adam's gripe , he is working in the farm but most of the profit still goes to Brian. At least Brian has an income from Borchester Land and I expect he has paid into a pension ,
Tony and Pat are dependent on the farm making sufficient profit to be able to pay salaries to both of them and to pay Tom and Helen,and still have money over to invest and very few farms of that size are able to do that .

Spuderoonerism Mon 15-Apr-13 18:03:15

Long term the future of the farm is an interesting story and kind of a throwback to their original remit of informing about agricultural issues. Farms across the country face this situation every day - dilution of the profit per person with each generation. Brian's farm is more typical of farms I know where at least some of the kids have gone off to do their own thing/make their own careers but Pat and Tony are in a similar position to many where the farm will have to support more people in a few years time, possibly with fewer people working from the family.

To be honest I struggle to see how they make it support all of them in anycase - how much cheese, ice-cream and veg can you sell - they all seem like the little sidelines - presumably the milk was the main source of income and Tom has been living off the sausage profits for the last few years? I agree though that 'gourmet' ready meals don't really sound like a money-spinner.

Neither Tom nor Brenda are particularly likeable in my view. Now they get to double the number of people they make miserable! Am not sure how impressed Roy will be at having Brenda move in either...

ppeatfruit Mon 15-Apr-13 21:21:48

More pain and heartache; stupid Lil with creep Paul emotionally blackmailing her and boring Tom and Brenda miserably breaking up Oh dear!

Also talking about agricultural issues spuderoonerism isn't the whole idea of a mixed organic farm reliant on the cows' dung? for the arable I mean.

lalalonglegs Mon 15-Apr-13 22:31:54

So who are Tom and Brenda going to pair off with (because we know that no one is allowed to stay single in Ambridge)? I think Tom has run out of options - he's bored the tits off every woman he's not related to (his sister and mother seem weirdly indulgent of his pork products monomania) and there's no one left for Brenda unless the scriptwriters throw her a comedy pairing with Jazzer.

lottiegarbanzo Mon 15-Apr-13 23:47:10

Good question. Well, I think (and hope) that Ifty and Elizabeth have a long way to run but he is token single man at the mo, likes sensible businesswomen and is apparently not fussed about having children (as Elizabeth wont be having more).

Then there's Mr 'I do have a wife, i do, it's just she's invisible' Rob of the mega dairy, who everyone at Bridge Farm is already duty bound to despise, so ongoing opportunities for tension there.

Women for Tom though? Hmm.

PseudoBadger Tue 16-Apr-13 07:01:31

I love how adamant racist Shula is that Lizzie won't be interested in Ifty. She hasn't got a clue.

PseudoBadger Tue 16-Apr-13 07:05:23

Ha ha I've just seen Rob referred to as 'Rob Titchynob' somewhere else grin

ppeatfruit Tue 16-Apr-13 07:20:51

Blimey i'd forgotten about Rob grin d'you reckon he's even GOT a wife? or he's done away with her (he'a another Paul IMO too good to be true at the start in true soap tradition then he'll turn into a serial murderer or whatever).

I want Lizzie to have Ifty move in that'll put Shula's stupid nose out!!!

outtolunchagain Tue 16-Apr-13 07:57:54

I don't know why Shula is so holier than though over Ifty, she was hardly a saint after Mark died . Admittedly the gap was a bit longer but remember how she had an affair with the Doctor who was living with the solicitor and seeing Alastair as well.

outtolunchagain Tue 16-Apr-13 07:58:46

Holier than thou ( iPad correctorblush)

ppeatfruit Tue 16-Apr-13 08:03:14

It's not the sex she objects to it's the colour of Ifty's face sad

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