How did you know the house you bought was 'the one`?

(49 Posts)
Willow33 Wed 17-Jul-13 14:18:28

More the one that was right for you...
We are looking and there isn't a huge amount of properties on the market in the area we are looking in. However there is one which dh likes because of the potential to extend and do a rent-a-room. We need to do this to enable me to work
part time. It does tick a lot of boxes but I am not sure in my heart. Dh says I need to think whether my concerns are valid - house on road with a bus route and ex local authority houses opposite which don't look nice (yes am a bit of a snob). Also storage in our bedroom minimal due to being in the roof and a dormer extension a bit too expensive considering other work we need to do.
So how did you know your place was where you would be happy? How did you know?

Snowgirl1 Wed 17-Jul-13 14:39:27

I think we looked at so many houses (about 50) that I'd got to the point that I was more willing to compromise as I knew we weren't going to be able to find a house that we both loved that we could afford. I don't love our house, but it's a practical house that ticked all our requirements except 'attractive good looking house' (it's a 1970s box).

Can you keep looking? It might make you understand what really are deal breakers for you. A bus route wouldn't be a deal breaker for me, but a busy road would. Ex-local authority houses would put me off a bit if they didn't look nice, but if everything else was ticked on my list I'd probably live with it and just get some wooden venetian blinds to block the view!

Youhaventseenme Wed 17-Jul-13 14:42:36

When you walk up the path, and into the house and the first thing you say to yourself is that is where my Christmas tree is going. Or is that just me ?? blush

Pootles2010 Wed 17-Jul-13 14:45:28

Yes agree we were same as Snow, it was the practical choice, just didn't have anything wrong iyswim?! It's done us well.

I honestly thing you need the practical things to be there when you buy it, then you make it your 'home' - add the bits you love yourself. It becomes your home by you living in it.

I do that youhavent - but i do it with every house grin. I want our next house to have a big bay window in front for that very reason...

SweetHoneyBeeeeee Wed 17-Jul-13 14:51:27

My husband told me. Seriously. He loved it so much that I could never have said no. I wanted a detached, older house with period features...we bought a terraced new build. It is georgian style though grin

I knew we could live there for at least ten years and be happy. It is closer to his family, my work and a great place to bring up kids (good area, good schools and lots of outdoor space), so pretty much ticked every box, except old and detached. And 98 out of 100 is pretty good. Plus I could never have said no to dh once he'd seen it grin

Youhaventseenme Wed 17-Jul-13 14:52:48

My last two houses have had huge bay windows for that very reason.

Shallow ?? Moi ??

When we walked into the extended kitchen,the house was already in he area we wanted,but all the others we had viewed were small.
This one ,well ,I walked in & saw a huge open plan kitchen with patio doors onto the garden & thought 'this will be mine' & it is & I love it!!grin

bigTillyMint Wed 17-Jul-13 14:55:49

When we parked up outside itconfused It was just a gut feeling though we had seen a few (maybe 10? all similar London Vic terraced) before, including the one next door which needed loads of work and our NDN's bought!

tomatoplantproject Wed 17-Jul-13 14:56:31

My husband told me. It was a complete wreck though and he is an architect and could see something in it. He was right!! We did compromise though - the garden is a bit too small and we will outgrow it when we have another child, so it's not our forever house.

bigTillyMint Wed 17-Jul-13 14:57:18

Are you looking for a house for life, OP? If so, it has to be a gut reactionsmile

Willow33 Wed 17-Jul-13 15:01:59 see I feel I need to 'love' it! This is cos I have never liked the flat I live in now (8 years). Due to managing agents and previous neighbour hassle. Flat itself is nice though. Dh says its a question of attitude. I like the Christmas tree thought :-)

Willow33 Wed 17-Jul-13 15:05:05

Yes this is going to be our forever home. We have seen 10 to 12 houses but there are no more on the market in the area we want yet...

Keztrel Wed 17-Jul-13 15:11:45

I think all the practical stuff needs to be in place first (and that does include whether you like the area - doesn't sound like you're keen), then I just go by gut feeling. With our last house, we looked round about 14, and went back two or three times to a couple of them. But with the one we bought, we didn't even need to go back for a second look, we put in an offer that same day. I'm with you - if the thought of the house and its surroundings doesn't make you happy/comfortable, keep looking. Your DH sounds a bit too focused on the one aspect he's pleased with.

DaisyBD Wed 17-Jul-13 15:16:11

I think it's more a case of being 'a' one than 'the' one. Like knowing whether a man is 'the' one. In my experience, it's less a question of knowing than deciding. We were lucky when we were buying last year that we saw two that we really liked - the one I loved, that I fell in love with, we ended up not getting, and I was gutted. I'd told DH that I would literally DIE if we didn't get it. Funnily enough, I didn't die, and now I love the house that we did get (which was the other one of the two, and I had pretty much loved it when we first looked at it).

On the other hand, I moved into my DH's house after we got married, in the hope that I would come to love it, or at least tolerate it, and I never did. Even after all the F&B tartification. I'm so glad we don't live there now. grin So while I think you may not ever know if a house is 'the' one, you do have to trust your gut instinct.

Willow33 Wed 17-Jul-13 15:25:22

Yes dh wants me to be happy but said we have to be careful and not get into debt with all my ideas of work that needs doing it (it is @ the top of our budget) We are off to see it again shortly so will let you know my thoughts.
Pls continue with your replies - helps!

DaisyBD Wed 17-Jul-13 15:31:50

I would listen very carefully to DH about debt and potential work. The house I really loved needed a LOT of work - it was already at the top of our budget - someone said to me, do you really want to spend the next five years of your life doing DIY every single weekend? Every evening? That house was amazing, a huge rambling Victorian ex-pub with eight bedrooms and a massive cellar, original features everywhere and nooks and crannies and a trapdoor to the cellar for the barrels.

It also needed a new roof, new floorboards, it had holes in the ceilings and walls, an ancient redfyre range cooker, old wiring and wires sticking out of walls. The previous owners simply couldn't afford to fix it up, and we wouldn't have been able to either. In the end someone offered more than we did, and we bought our Plan B. But the other buyers subsequently pulled out (apparently when it became clear that at least £100k was required just to make it liveable) and the estate agents tried to sell it to us again. But we'd seen sense by then - at least I had - DH had always had very grave reservations about it. I am sooooooo glad we didn't get carried away with the romance of it all, and that we bought the sensible option (which as I said, I love).

Good luck! You do have to go with your heart but try to let your head have a say too.

MrsApplepants Wed 17-Jul-13 15:53:22

Our deal breakers were off road parking, min 3 beds, kitchen big enough to eat in, not new build and not on a busy road. We also had to stick strictly to budget. We just didn't view anything that didn't fit this criteria. Deep down though, I always wanted to live in a pretty cottage in very pretty surroundings so when a cottage came up (finally) that met our criteria and is indeed very pretty, it seemed like fate. Stepped in through the door and knew this was my house. I love it here and am never moving! Trust your gut, would be my advice and never buy a house that doesn't excite you.

veggrower Wed 17-Jul-13 15:54:47

DS has just bought first house with fiance. They had a number of things on their wish list, but knew that they were unlikely to get all of these with their budget in this area. Also, they knew it was not going to be their "forever house", (hate that term, but a good description).
They found a house, and knew at once it was "the one" at this point in their lives, as had a lot of their wish list things, ie garage, upstairs bathroom, not on a busy road, near to station, and could potentially make money over 5 years, as previously had an elderly lady living there, and was very very dated.
Incidently, is an ex LA house, however, the surrounding houses all look well kept with nice gardens, and the area looked nice, so the snob factor was overcome. Therefore, when considering wether it is "the one", does it meet your needs at this point in your lives, does it have as many things on your wish list as possible, and most importantly, could you enjoy living there.

SixPackWellies Wed 17-Jul-13 15:57:44

we looked at a zillion houses, all the same, all typical, Victorian.

This one, backs onto a cemetery... green space, and I like cemeteries anyway.

But it was the only one that had an outlook of green (plus some stone...) not an outlook of other people's bathrooms.

I insisted.

SixPackWellies Wed 17-Jul-13 15:58:10

At the core though- it is a gut feeling.

SixPackWellies Wed 17-Jul-13 15:59:57

Oh, and when we bought this one... it is a wreck. I walked in, did a cursory walk around, walked out. DH had already seen it, and was not with me. You could see the EA and the vendor (who was there) deflate as it was so fast.

I was in for about 90 seconds. Walked out, rang Dh and said 'That one'.

MummytoMog Wed 17-Jul-13 16:29:39

I knew ours was fine. It wasn't the one. But I walked into it and could immediately see how we could live in it. It was just about in our price range, in a nice little cul de sac and there was a massive park over the road. I rang DH and told him that I thought we should buy it and he agreed - didn't even want to view. I made him view and he was won over by the little garage that we subsequently turned into his office.

I've seen THE ONE. And if I win the lottery before it sells, I'm buying it, I don't even need to view it, I get a heart ache every time I look at the pictures on RightMove.

middleagedspread Wed 17-Jul-13 16:54:17

I knew with 5 minutes.
We've been looking for 5 years.
It ticks almost every box but will mean a lot of financial sacrifice over the next few years. I feel sure it'll be worth it.
I was discussing with DH what we can do with the garden when he retires in 25 years.

Jan49 Wed 17-Jul-13 18:24:51

I never felt like that about a house I've bought but I've twice bought houses and eventually grew to love each one.

With the first house, we just thought we liked the house and it was a relief after viewing lots of houses that were too small. With the second house, we were desperate and there were very few houses on the market and we hesitated over it for a while because of the work that needed doing. It was more a case of being the best we could find with not enough others to choose from. If I could time travel I'd tell myself not to buy it, hold on for something better, but it was a nice house. I actually did have a particular road that I set my heart on but despite there being about 6 houses for sale there, none was the right house at the right price.

I think the house for you just has to tick enough of your boxes of what it needs and to feel reasonably right. I don't think I'd buy a house if it ticked the boxes but somehow I didn't like it. But it doesn't need to be one you fall in love with instantly.

littlecrystal Wed 17-Jul-13 19:10:52

My house ticked the boxes and I made an offer instantly. It is a good house, still ticking boxes, but it is not "the one" and no matter how much I upgrade it, it will never be.

Now trying to buy a much smaller, characterless house that needs a complete refurbishment, so it is lots of compromise, but although I am not instantly sure it feels like it could be the one.
Surprisingly it had two other offers on the day I decided to offer and my offer is not the highest sad

noisytoys Wed 17-Jul-13 19:11:12

It was the 1 only flat in my budget in the right area for the right price so I bought it. I don't love it but I'm grateful to own it, it's a good first step on the ladder.

BikeRunSki Wed 17-Jul-13 19:13:50

We could afford it and it was not falling down. Those criteria eliminated quite a lot.

Misty9 Wed 17-Jul-13 20:47:09

We're hopefully getting close to exchange on the house we love. It was the first one we saw! I'd had it on my watchlist for a while (while waiting for mortgage in principle) and it ticked all our boxes...but was over budget.

Loved it instantly (gorgeous kitchen diner extension) but felt we needed to look around cheaper other houses. Saw a handful more but nothing in the area we love as the style of house we want is very rare in the area we want.

I think it's a feeling, after the obvious criteria of ticking the main boxes, and I couldn't buy somewhere that I didn't feel could be 'home'. I even apply this to renting - and we've moved a lot!

You sound like you're not keen on the house OP, so if time is on your side I'd wait it out until more comes on the market...or decide what you're willing to compromise on. I'd also def look at things you mightn't think you'd like to rule in or out certain options, iyswim.

littlecrystal Wed 17-Jul-13 21:22:01

Misty9 can I ask how did you manage to get a house that was over your budget?

Kiriwawa Wed 17-Jul-13 21:29:00

Embarrassingly, I welled up. I had been looking for a very long time, nothing quite fit the bill, I'd sold my place so was starting to face the horrible renting/storage reality and suddenly, there was my dream.

Two years down the line I get really cross about some of the idiosyncrasies and there's always going to be stuff to do but it fills my heart with joy every time I put my key in the door


When you walk up the path, and into the house and the first thing you say to yourself is that is where my Christmas tree is going. Or is that just me ?? blush

Not just you. I was coming to post this.

Misty9 Wed 17-Jul-13 22:06:53

Little - it was over our 250k limit as we wanted to avoid the stamp duty rise. But we can afford the extra (258k) and feel it is worth it, for the reasons mentioned in my pp smile

marriedinwhiteagain Wed 17-Jul-13 22:16:24

It was home the first time we saw it and couldn't afford it; then the people who could afford it pulled out and then the early 90s recession bit and the developers went bankrupt and six months later we could.

specialsubject Wed 17-Jul-13 22:42:40

when you see it for the first time and say 'oh yes'. More precisely, when you don't look at the rest of the houses in the area and think 'I wish it was that one'.

you do 'just know' - but if you can't afford it, or there is something wrong with it, there WILL be another house.

Willow33 Thu 18-Jul-13 00:39:16

So we went to see it again and I was more convinced that there are ways around the storage. It isn't the nicest bit of the road but we are buying in uncheap London however am more convinced of its potential. I also asked a lady a few doors down if she liked the road and she said all good things. Her dd also went to the school I want to get my dd into so that's a good point. It has potential but is no way the finished article. It has an east facing garden though...mmmm

Willow33 Thu 18-Jul-13 00:41:47

Oh there are lots on the rd which I would rather have specialsubject but they are not in our budget at the mo!

bodingading Thu 18-Jul-13 11:53:59

I knew instantly. Instantly. I didn't even have to go inside, just looked at the front door. Before I viewed I already knew it met all our functional requirements, so the viewing was just to test the emotional rightness.

But we had been looking since 2007 and had lost out on two other properties that I would have been very happy in too in that time.

OrmirianResurgam Thu 18-Jul-13 12:09:03

Because as soon as I saw it I wanted it. We put our house on the market in the hopes of getting it. It was just what we wanted and just about affordable. We were prepared to put ours on the market at the lowest valuation for a quick sale as nothing much was moving at the time. It just was right. And I love it. My spirits rise as I come round the corner into the street.

If I am honest I still have a little dream of a house in the country with room for a pony for DD, and a big veg garden, and a stream etc etc but I have to live in the real world....

Willow33 Fri 19-Jul-13 08:08:31

I don't know what to do. Dh thinks it can work but I am not into the position. However not much else on the market.

loraflora Fri 19-Jul-13 10:13:16

I have bought two houses and the first I fell in love with, while, the second ticked various boxes for practicality. 1st was a 3 storey Victorian house with a front view of a hill and a side sea view and I wanted it as soon as I walked in. DH's car commute was quite long and after he had a car crash we decided to sell up and go somewhere nearer. 2nd house was a 1980s box with lots of pubs and restaurants nearby and 10 mins from a station. I didn't love it but it seemed sensible and was the most house we could afford in London. I did not realise that those practicalities also meant litter and a certain level of noise, so the head isn't always 100% right. I still live here and have gradually improved it, but I hated it for a few years. Next time I'd try to take both head and heart into account if poss.

Zyngaling Fri 19-Jul-13 10:26:40

I know what you mean. The house I'm moving to ticked all my boxes. But yet, I didn't walk in the door and visualise living there. I will make it The One after I've moved in though. There was another house what felt like the one but survey came back and it was like a favela. So now I wonder if I should trust that 'The One' feeling. It will feel like home when it is home.

marriedinwhiteagain Fri 19-Jul-13 21:53:49

Our current house was home woth the place for the xmas tree. It is also draughty, hard to maintain, awkwardly laid out and sometimes not that practocal. although I luffs it and didn't want to leave

But our new, modern shocktown house - half way extyended and refurbed in reallyu styarting to grow on me: mre secure, more modern, laid out better, beTter insulated, OSP for three cars, gated, straight staircases that wd take a stair lift, no river; no rats.

DH bought it without a lot of consultation but it will be an easier and more economocal to run sot of house. Not quite the same kerb appeal - but a lot going for it.

Zyngaling Sat 20-Jul-13 00:10:29

It amazes me when I watch phil and kirsty how some people get that 'the one' feeling about an old donkey barn with no roof, and they get all excited about fixing it up, but they are 'meh' about a solid house with a roof that could still find plenty of room for a new owner's stamp!

formicadinosaur Sat 20-Jul-13 08:29:13

I loved the area and saw the house had potential. We thought we were buying our forever house. The work took years (moving layout etc) and I fell out of love with the place, however now its finished I feel warmer about the house. Still want to move though.

delilahbelle Sat 20-Jul-13 08:37:08

Ours wasn't the house as much as the l

delilahbelle Sat 20-Jul-13 08:41:39

Ours wasn't the house as much as the location. It's close to town, but on an older estate so we have a garage, off road parking and lots of greenery/trees around us. The neighbours are lovely too. It's nice and quiet and also fairly central.
Compromises are I didn't get my southwest facing garden, it needs a fair bit if work, and we have a kitchen with a breakfast bar and a living-diner rather than the massive kitchen-diner I would like.
It's not the one, we plan to do it up over the next 5/6 years, then either rent it out or sell it on and move up the property ladder.

Zyngaling Sat 20-Jul-13 08:43:11

l l location?

Zyngaling Sat 20-Jul-13 08:45:21

sorry! x post there I think!

ElephantsEye Sat 27-Jul-13 00:07:41

We bought this house about 18 years ago, so no viewing online - EAs sent out lists through the post, with minimal info and no photos. I still recall opening one of these lists in the car and telling DH about this house. It was on the correct side of a favourite street. The number, type and size of rooms was 'just right', and we could afford it. Seemed too good to be true. We phoned to arrange a viewing before we even managed to pick up a schedule (with pictures!). Anyway, when we viewed it we knew it was the one.

Some unexpected legal complications arose: our lawyer said "I don't normally advise proceeding in such cases - what's so special about it?" We just smiled. Luckily he steered us through the legal difficulties and we are still here, hopefully for many more years.

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