Funny experiences in viewing houses

(87 Posts)
potas Thu 04-Jul-13 16:10:23

I went to view a house last week in the corner of a recently built estate with not much space out the front. When I got out the house after the viewing I found the neighbour had blocked me in with her car - she didnt need to park there she had a double drive - whereas I had parked in front of the house i was viewing. When asked to move the car she went off on a rant about how people in that house had always parked their car somewhere else before! Feel lucky to have met her then and not after buying the house!

CecyHall Thu 04-Jul-13 16:13:05

I went to view a rental house and my beaded bracelet just exploded for no reason! Teeny tiny beads everywhere. Luckily we went with the house as I was still hoovering the bloody things up months later!

BabsAndTheRu Thu 04-Jul-13 16:14:09

Many years ago being shown round a two bedroom flat, got shown the second bedroom which clearly had someone in the bed with the covers over their head. Owner sat on the end of the bed and kept talking to us as if to disguise it, when all we wanted to do was leave the room. Weird.

flow4 Thu 04-Jul-13 16:19:52

We went to see a house that was vacant and owned by one of the estate agents. It's about 5 miles outside the nearest town in a semi-rural suburb. There was no downstairs furniture, there were no beds... But in the bathroom, there was a damp towel, some shower gel, splashes in and all around the shower and an unmistakable damp footprint!

I can't help wondering who chose to use the shower in an empty house, and why?!

foofooyeah Thu 04-Jul-13 16:20:07

Shortly after my Dad died my Mum had lots of visitors.

One day the door rang and a youngish couple stood there. "sorry we are a bit late" "Oh come in" said my Mum thinking they might be friends of mine as I was due round any minute. Slight silence and the girl said 'Shall we show oursleves round' Mum looked a little surprised then the penny dropped. They were due to view a house three doors down.
I arrived at that point, the couple were very embarassed, but Mum and me found it hilarious, dont think they bought the house down the road but at least they would have known the neigbours were friendly.

flow4 Thu 04-Jul-13 16:31:34

In the first house we viewed, an ex-council semi, there were three ducks quacking around the garden... The owner told us we could have them if we paid the full asking price! grin

Pancakeflipper Thu 04-Jul-13 16:39:15

I went to view a house with my then boyfriend. The estate agent was showing us around one weekday afternoon.

I walked into the main bedroom and a man screamed and leapt naked from his bed and ran into the ensuite. I screamed even louder and refused to see the rest of the house.

Apparently he was the brother of the house owner ( they were on hols which is why the estate agent was showing round) who had been on the beer the night before and decided to use their siblings empty home as a crash pad.

Hobbes8 Thu 04-Jul-13 16:45:17

I once got shown round a flat by a tenant who didn't really want to move quite yet. He enthusiastically demonstrated how the pipes under the kitchen sink just snapped off on your hand and made sure I noticed the large damp patch on the ceiling of the bathroom which kept coming back no matter what he did. I didn't buy it.

flow4 Thu 04-Jul-13 16:46:07

In another house, my teenagers went to check out the cellar - they're always interested in the prospect of dens/hang-out space - while a nervous EA stood at the top telling me he thought it "might have a bit of damp"... Within seconds the boys yelled, "MUM IT'S FLOODED!"

It apparently had over 10cm of water in the cellar because its foundations were lower than the water-table! shock

froginthepond Thu 04-Jul-13 16:48:58

when we were viewing houses 4 years ago we went to see this one house where the lady owner looked less than amused with us (too young lookung i assume). It was an old country house nothing special though. She took one look at us and decided we could never afford her place and that we were wasting her time. She kept insisting that someone was buying the house a couple of days later so there was no point looking round all the house as we would not be able to buy it. hmm Stupid women who ended up screwing herself over with her ignorance as her house stayed on the market for over 6 months after that and we ended up buying a bigger better and more expensive house than what she had. grin

noisytoys Thu 04-Jul-13 16:52:26

We viewed a 2 bedroom flat. Or it would be if we put a partition up in the kitchen, moved the bathroom and were ok with not having a living room. The flat is still on the market 5 years later!

Thistledew Thu 04-Jul-13 16:54:29

DH went to look at a house when we were house hunting. It was dark but there was outside lighting at one particular property. It had big French doors out onto the patio, which had a curtain drawn across them.

The estate agent flung back the curtains, and he and DH were confronted by the spotlit faces of about two dozen gnomes, who had all been arranged so that they were looking in through the French doors!

PeterParkerSays Thu 04-Jul-13 16:58:50

We went to see a house with sitting tenants. The living room was piled high with DVDs, model darleks etc and we had to step round the tenants who clearly had no intention of making to easier to view the house.

Upstairs the main bedroom and a double bed, more stacks of DVDs and a complete plastic toy farm laid out on the floor, with fences and tractors and everything, in a house with only 2 adults. We didn't like to ask.

Unsurprisingly we didn't buy the house.

froginthepond Thu 04-Jul-13 16:59:59

Oh god Thistle if i saw gnomes i would faint hate the bloody things! confused

PeterParkerSays Thu 04-Jul-13 17:00:32

Flow4, we saw a house like that, but they had a pump in the cellar which automatically pumped the water away once it got to a certain level within the pipe under the floor.

Zynia41 Thu 04-Jul-13 17:01:16

viewed one that turned out to be a repossession. They didn't get out of bed!! there were cobra bottles and last night's takeaway plates and foil boxes strewn around.

Pimpf Thu 04-Jul-13 17:06:02

I remember having an argument with one tossed of an ea, the house was advertised as a 3 bed, but you couldn't fit a bed in the 3rd room, he insisted you could. Shame as it was a lovely house!

LottieJenkins Thu 04-Jul-13 17:17:05

Thistle that really made me chuckle! grin
I hate the Ikea advert with the garden gnomes charging across the lawn and having the hose turned on them. That really gives me the willies!

wonkylegs Thu 04-Jul-13 17:24:27

When we bought our current house, we viewed a property which had an old couple who were looking to move as the stairs had got too much for her. They asked us if we could show ourselves around upstairs for this reason. They warned us that their teenage son ('late in life surprise child 4') was up in his room but it would be fine to poke our heads in.
We did and nearly passed out from the fug of cannabis smoke! He'd obviously forgot his parents were doing a viewing.
We never said a word... The whole experience was made more ridiculous when 'mum' proudly showed us the portraits of her other sons hanging on the wall - all three were police officers!grin

TeamEdward Thu 04-Jul-13 17:37:50

We viewed a house that looked great on the EA's website - 4 bed, 2 reception, lovely conservatory, lots of period features...
When we got inside it had been stripped. Even electrical sockets had gone. Turns out that the photos were taken when the house had first gone on the market, but then it had been rented out. The tenants had done a job on the rent and took everything they could when they moved out. But the vendors and EA had agreed not to do new photos hmm

Oh, and when we got in the car we noticed fleas on the legs of our jeans. This lead to us and the EA doing a flea-flicking jig outside the house for our next viewing!

Bumbez Thu 04-Jul-13 17:52:08

I have a couple .

Last year I saw a really lovely period property with dds in tow. I turned to the estate agent to ask seriously about offers and saw dd1 aged 8 inching towards me, she proceeded to give my boobs a squeeze with both hands. I ignored her hoping estate agent hadn't noticed so she then nestled her head in the middle of them and wobbled it about a bit saying mmmn. blush

Another viewing different house we were amused to see a car number plate on the wall with the word cunt shock dds didn't notice thankfully.

SugarMiceInTheRain Thu 04-Jul-13 18:07:02

We viewed a house where the owners had clearly watched a couple of house makeover programmes (y'know the ones where they make a house look much worse in just an hour!) and they had done some hideous things. The kitchen cupboards were painted in two bright shades of green - sponge effect confused The dining room walls were dark blue with random silver spray effect patches here and there. The owner said 'We've gone for a modernist look here' hmm and the garden was full of cds hanging from fences, bushes, tree branches, allegedly to 'reflect light around the garden'. Weirdos.

Another house I viewed on my own had the living room wall painted to look like exposed brick. The owner had a vast collection of garden gnomes and ever so kindly and enthusiastically offered to leave some of his gnome collection behind as a bonus if I bought the house. Er, no ta....

jennycoast Thu 04-Jul-13 18:12:07

We view a house in a big farming town. The owner was the local retired bank manager, and he and his wife had just returned from lunch at the golf club. They were roaring drunk. It was hilarious, especially when he insisted on showing us how to use the ride on mower which they were going to throw in the the sale.

They had a built in deep fat fryer, from the 70s and I swear the oil hadn't been changed in all that time.

superbagpuss Thu 04-Jul-13 18:18:48

a couple of stories

a couple of houses being sold as a result, being shown round by bitter exh trying to avoid exw

one had a half finished kitchen that had been started before the split sad.
over sad houses, didn't buy any of those

the happier house we did buy is in the middle of an estate. when trying to visit it on a second viewing we couldn't find it blush

superbagpuss Thu 04-Jul-13 18:19:10

a result of a split in the marriage

karatekimmi Thu 04-Jul-13 18:29:01

Erm I was in a very embarrassing situation while viewing an empty house with DP. I hadn't had chance to pop to the loo when leaving for work and really really needed a poo. Well as it was empty I thought I would check the water was on and flushed the toilet, and it worked so I used the toilet. And then tried to flush the toilet ... The water was off, and I had just used the tank of water checking it was on!

The million dollar question is what would you do in that situation?

I made my DP take the blame and ask the EA to turn the water back on. It was very very tempting just to leave without fessing up though!!

Zynia41 Thu 04-Jul-13 18:58:50

I looked around a flat like that once. The bloke had only a poof and a massive tv. He could hardly drag himself up off the poof to show me around. He slagged off his x the whole way round, saying she had yet to absorb that prices had dropped and that accepting reality had always been a problem for her. wow, bad juju in that flat. the x was in Sweden. good luck to her!

ninjanurse Thu 04-Jul-13 19:04:27

Saw a gorgeous house a couple of months ago, immaculate inside, owner seemed really pleasant. As we went upstairs I noticed she had framed prints of Myra Hindley and Ian Brady on the wall. Made me shudder. I mean really wtaf???

edam Thu 04-Jul-13 19:11:08

Went to see a flat with an agent. Walked in, lovely kitchen, nice sitting room, got to the bedroom only to hear muffled noises... and someone running into the en suite and slamming the door. grin Estate agent had phoned first to check whether the owner was in or out but owner was fast asleep and hadn't heard (must have been a heavy night, this was about 2pm).

We didn't buy it.

fuckwittery Thu 04-Jul-13 19:16:33

We went round to see a house where the tenant was locked in the bathroom having a long bath, didn't wish to come out.

My worst though, is when I went out, having completely forgotten that the agents were coming round to do a viewing. I had arranged to be out with my toddler, so they were due to let themselves in. However, had a bit of a frazzled morning, left toys and dirty breakfast things strewn everywhere, beds unmade. Worst however, was that I'd decided we'd go swimming but quickly had to rush some bikini line preparations. Had a rather considerable amount of hair to trim, did so in the bath, jumped out, got ready, went out before toddler tantrum time. When I came back, found rather a lot of obvious pubes lining the bath blush

Was VERY embarrassed. Apparently the woman loved the house though!!

crazyhamsterdisguisedasahippo Thu 04-Jul-13 19:22:05

Fuck grin pubes .

spiderlight Thu 04-Jul-13 19:26:30

We saw a house being sold by a bitter ex-husband as well. He clearly didn't want to sell it - it was filthy, the kitchen was piled high with dirty dishes and stinking pizza and curry boxes, the bloke sat in the living room with the TV blasting and barely acknowledged us after a brief diatribe about his wife, and we couldn't even see the second bedroom because the teenage son refused to get out of bed. The estate agent stood on the landing saying 'Well, it's about this big....' I never quite forgave him because the smell of the house was the thing that triggered my morning sickness, which went on to make my life an utter misery for the next four months.

The house we ended up buying had a huge display of about thirty boxed Easter eggs in front of the gorgeous feature fireplace in the front room. In September.

Dh once viewed a flat that was fairly bland and ordinary - until he went into the bathroom, which was carpeted in purple shagpile - which extended up the walls and the side of the bath, and across the ceiling! He didn't buy it.

When I was a child, dsis and I went with our parents to view a house called Doughbank Cottage. The front door wouldn't open at all, and when dad tried to open the back door, it came off in his hands. I have a surreal memory of walking through room after room, each leading from the previous one, all empty and all smelling of damp. Dad, having assessed the structural integrity of the house, refused to let mum, dsis and I go,upstairs - which was a good thing because as soon as he stepped off the top step, his foot went through the damp-riddled floorboards. We didn't buy it.

Trinpy Thu 04-Jul-13 19:47:18

We once were once shown around a god awful flat by the most optimistic estate agent ever.

The whole flat stank of damp, there was mould on the walls, but ea was sure he could persuade the landlord to contribute towards the cost of paint so we could 'fix' this. He managed to sound convinced that a lick of paint and turning the heating up a bit would solve the serious damp problem.

No gch, only electric, but this was a good thing apparently as it would 'save on the gas bills' hmm .

The shared garden was so beautiful. Unfortunately, as it was the basement flat, we weren't allowed
to use it. This was a good thing, in ea's view, as we had the joy of seeing the garden from the window, without any of the upkeep.

There was also a back door which we weren't allowed to use as it led to the garden but 'would provide a useful fire escape'.

The whole viewing continued like this. Dh and I were pissing ourselves laughing for days afterwards.

Beamae Thu 04-Jul-13 19:50:13

We once viewed a basement flat just off Church Street in Stoke Newington. The electricity had been cut off but the estate agent still proceeded to do the whole tour in pitch darkness by attempting to describe each room. We went along with it because we found it so funny.

When we were selling our flat I was short on time before a viewing. Remembering a tip my mother had given me, I hid the dirty washing up in the oven. The viewing was going well u til we reached the kitchen and the man was looking around. He opened the oven door, and there was a long silence as we all stared at the contents. He then shut the door and we carried on as if nothing had happened.

They didn't buy the flat.

PoppyWearer Thu 04-Jul-13 20:01:49

We went to view a house, a lovely house in great location for a good price, but the couple who lived there with their grown-up DD, her DH and their GCs were as mad as a box of frogs. The woman followed us round and kept telling us how they probably wouldn't be moving because living all together with their GCs suited them all so well. As well as various stories about her family/friends/vague acquaintances/people from the golf club.

As soon as we got outside and shook them off, the estate agent apologised for wasting our time and then headed back in to "have it out" with the couple regarding why they had put the place on the market if they didn't want to bloody sell!

ISeeSmallPeople Thu 04-Jul-13 20:04:20

The gnomes staring. grin
The washing in the oven. grin

I may have just woken DD up laughing!

We viewed one house that stank of curry, dirty socks & mould.

The kitchen was obviously the scene of many happy family dinners, but the smell permeated the whole ground floor.

Thankfully the piles of dirty washing all the way up both flights of stairs meant the upstairs did not smell of curry, rather feet, sweat, and unclean pants. Until you got into the bathrooms where the smell of damp & mould hit you.

Someone may have been sleeping under the duvet on the sofa, but since the curtains were drawn I didn't fancy investigating.

Knotter Thu 04-Jul-13 20:08:35

I once viewed a house with a bedroom with a warning sign on the door saying "Gas Mask Required". The EA kept a straight face throughout, but the room truly stank of sweat and other foul odours, a gas mask would have indeed been useful! It seemed to belong to a teenage boy....!

phantomhairpuller Thu 04-Jul-13 20:09:34

ILs viewed a house on Monday evening. As they were leaving they heard a squeal from behind them, ran back to the house to find the female EA sprawled on the concrete at the bottom of the steps leading from front door. They called an ambulance as she'd apparently smacked her head fairly hard and couldn't move one arm.

Not exactly 'funny' but certainly makes a memorable viewing for the ILs!

FriskyHenderson Thu 04-Jul-13 20:10:47

I've been shown round somewhere with sleeping people upstairs - teenaged children of the vendor. I've also been the sleeping person, when the landlord let the flat to us on a weekly lease until we found somewhere else but hadn't told the EA who was trying to sell it, had keysand was based aaround the corner so would drag around anyone who popped into the office...

Ive also met the EA and prospective buyers of my house coming out in a hurry as I came home. They looked a bit green and didn't stop to talk, which made sense when I got in and found that at some point during the day the cats had dragged a live bird in through the cat flap. Then they had spent much time chasing it around the house whilst pulling it to pieces, then walking around the house chucking up.

CitizenOscar Thu 04-Jul-13 20:25:13

My friends viewed a tenanted flat and interrupted the tenants having sex.

Went back for a second viewing; same thing.

Either they were very horny or thought it would put off buyers!

Zynia41 Thu 04-Jul-13 21:18:44

eugh, those horny renters have put me off the flat and I haven't even seen it!

foofooyeah Fri 05-Jul-13 12:40:39

I love the pissed up couple and the ride on lawn mower.

Two spring to mind:

The first was a house with an old lady in, who when she showed us around kept talking about how crappy it was and how much she hated living there, but also kept throwing in that her son was making her sell it. That was weird enough but when we got to the landing there was, instead of bannisters, a wrought iron garden fence welded to the landing instead. Weird. We didn't go with that.

The other was a Victorian mid terrace on a nice quiet street where my parents had lived when they were first married. Because my parents had lived in a similar house my dad came with us out of curiosity to see if it was similarly laid out inside. However, when we got in it turned out that the owners had made some alterations since the photographs had been taken... and demolished all of the internal walls downstairs!! The apparent reason was because the old man who lived there was using a wheelchair so his son had made it "wheelchair friendly" but it didn't look safe at all and was just one big square with a kitchen in one corner. We didn't go with that either.

chickensaladagain Fri 05-Jul-13 13:17:52

We were viewing a house which backed onto fields, it was an empty house and the ea was showing us around

All the curtains across the back of the house were closed, the ea said so people dog walking etc on the fields didn't realise the house was empty

Opened the back door to see the garden to be greeted by a huge horse, 4 men sat on the patio and a huge traveller site on the field at the back -they had removed 2 fence panels and were using the outside toilet to house a couple of dogs

Nice!

greenhill Fri 05-Jul-13 13:33:06

One where there were 10 people crowded around a low table in the smallest room ever; no kitchen; a bathroom with a toilet you'd have fallen off of if someone had opened the door (as there was no clearance); a garden full of junk and a man asleep in a dark bedroom.

Another where the owner had left the overwhelming smell of Lynx permeate the house and left the stereo on full blast by the front door; it was marketed as a family house, but someone had left one babygro on the floor: there were no signs of any other children as all the bedrooms had been emptied and the house felt angry IYSWIM.

Also a bungalow marketed as a family home that had a better office shed in the garden than the house itself. Upstairs had 4 rooms apparently: imagine a roof that sloped down to the floor with four pieces of MDF nailed to the sides. One room contained a tanning bed, the second a very small cot, the third a single futon and the fourth was full of clothes masking a load of damp. The bungalow had been wrecked by bad DIY and was bright purple, lime green or orange unless it was wallpapered in anaglipta (sp).

Oddly enough we didn't buy any of these gems smile

Jenijena Fri 05-Jul-13 13:41:53

'And this would be the coffin room, if she wasn't on ice in Russia. I need to swell the house to pay the mafia for her health costs before I can have a funeral.'

We bought it too. Had a lot of debt collection letters for him since then, but apparently his wife just left him...

CinnamonAddict Fri 05-Jul-13 13:57:36

We viewed a house once which had a sort of zombie doll lying in one of the beds in the 3rd bedroom. Even our older kids were a bit freaked out.

Years ago I wanted to view a house and rang the bell to discover that the owner hadn't told the tenants he was selling.

One house I viewed had a huge mouldy patch in of the bedrooms. EA said "oh yes, it needs a bit of airing"

And there was the viewing where the owner had locked the dogs in the garden, "sorry you cannot go out but you can have a peek" over one of these stable style half doors -- only to be attacked and nearly bitten in the face by a rottweiler.
Happy days. I don't intend to house hunt ever again if I can help it.

PatriciaHolm Fri 05-Jul-13 15:48:05

We viewed a house that belonged to one of the brothers from right said Fred; some interesting signs and decor!

We also saw one home that had storage in cupboards up the stairs, like under eaves storage. I made some joke about how it would be perfect to shut DD (then 1) in occasionally and the very young clearly childless agent looked at me in great alarm thinking I was serious....

RoryPBellows Fri 05-Jul-13 17:13:34

I once looked round a house where all of the doors had been removed for seemingly no reason confused - even the bathrooms - normalish family 2 DC. They had been replaced by curtains that didn't reach the floor by about a foot.

When we got to the kitchen the owner pulled back a curtain to what should have been the larder to reveal .... about 12 doors all leaned up neatly. "Here are the doors" she said "should you want to put them back in" .....as we backed out slowly.

crazyhamsterdisguisedasahippo Fri 05-Jul-13 18:39:49

Rory That sounds a bit lot creepy grin

edam Sat 06-Jul-13 16:13:23

We once went with a family friend to view a house. Gorgeous Victorian house, big garden, loads of character. Nntil we got to the attic floor. Walked into what had clearly been a nursery, opened the big walk in cupboard, which still had Edwardian nursery wallpaper inside... but such an awful feeling. Real sense of foreboding - the first person to peer inside jumped back it felt so horrid, but we all tried it in case it was imagination. Horrible. We decided there must have been a horrid governess who shut children into the cupboard to punish them or something.

Friend bought the house anyway and it became a very happy family home but I didn't envy the son who had that bedroom - I would have refused to sleep there!

edam Sat 06-Jul-13 16:13:56

wow, overuse of the word horrid there, must have been overcome with memories of how awful it felt!

Zynniah Sat 06-Jul-13 18:18:39

Blimey. There was a house near me about 7 or 8 years ago. The Murder House we used to call it. All houses on the road would have been about 500-600k at the time. He chopped her up and put her in the freezer. Or was it the other way round. I can't believe I am hazy on the details. Anyway, my friend and I used to push our buggies past the house on the way to the river and talk about the magic number, the price point at which we'd swoop in and say 'now! now I'll buy it!'. How macabre of us. But somebody did buy it after it sat empty for about 18 months!

edam Sat 06-Jul-13 22:08:32

I can identify with that, Zynniah, I used to live near a house where a Tory MP died in a solo sex game involving (IIRC) a tangerine and a bin bag (it was a big scandal in the Major government). His house was gorgeous, Georgian and right by the river. I used to look at it longingly and think 'I wonder if they will have to sell it for peanuts...'

Zynnia Sat 06-Jul-13 23:52:46

oh I remember that news story. I remember he was survived by his elderly mother and I felt very sorry for her receiving that news.

Devora Sun 07-Jul-13 00:17:59

We dreamed of living in Chiswick, but it was out of our price range. Then a 4 bed house came up - still a stretch at 700k, but we went to look. Well, it was 4 bed in that there were 2 bedrooms, within which they had hung curtains down the middle to show how they could be split (into rooms where you could barely fit a single bed, let alone storage). And the 'reception' room was actually a damp, windowless concrete cellar that 'would be fine if you stuck a light down there'. Oh, and it was right by the railway line. But still 700k.

Viewed one house when the EA wouldn't give out details in advance, and would only meet us at a preassigned location to walk to the house. When we got there she warned us that the owners were splitting and HE didn't know that SHE had put the house on the market, so all very secret squirrel. Lovely house, but who the hell would want to take on that kind of complication?

Having said which, i did buy a house from a couple going through a bad divorce. If you ignore the filth (they were both on housework strike), the obscene and racially explicit graffiti left all over the bedroom walls by their unhappy eldest,the kitchen appliances we bought from them that never worked, and the fact that on moving in day they were still there with all their stuff and we spent 5 hours hiding upstairs with their youngest weeping in our arms while they screamed at each other downstairs, then we got a bargain grin

SunnyL Sun 07-Jul-13 00:18:11

We viewed a flat once where there was a large painting of the couple lying naked in each others arms on the wall. Also when DH asked how deep the fitted wardrobes were she pulled one door back to show a massive selection of sex toys. They tried to persuade us to stay for a glass of wine which had DH convinced they were swingers.

echt Sun 07-Jul-13 07:02:30

Two weird houses.

As a student, shown a rental with the bath in the kitchen not near/next to: in. It had a wooden cover on it to double up as a table.hmm

Later looking to buy and shown a house where the late middle-aged, dog- loving owners had fallen out and divided the house, by a painted line going up the middle of the hall, stairs, etc. The was neutral territory occupied by their smelly/slavering hounds, too many to count. The entire carpeting, where not painted was a mass of dog hair.

A massive crack ran from the top of the house to the ground floor: cosmetic, we were assured. It failed the test: if you can get copy of the Building Regulations handbook into it, the building's buggered.

We didn't go for a second view.

Jaynebxl Sun 07-Jul-13 10:02:19

I viewed a flat in Brussels once where as a space saver the kitchen doubled up as a bathroom. So you had all the usual kitchen stuff then the shower unit and tucked away in the corner behind that was the loo! Funnily enough I didn't take it.

Devora Sun 07-Jul-13 12:04:41

As a student I rented a flat where the shower and toilet were iN the kitchen. The shower had lots of bare wires hanging out. There was a big hole in the wall by the sink where pigeons would stick their heads in for a look-see.

I'm amazed it was legal. It probably wasn't.

GemmaTeller Sun 07-Jul-13 20:26:01

Years ago , went to look at a 9really really big) flat over some shops in a nice semi rural village.
Estate agent said it need 'some work',
would be the fact that you could see through the floorboards into the room below?.....

CanadianJohn Mon 08-Jul-13 02:13:23

Some years ago, viewing a vacant house. The kitchen tap was dripping, and I automatically reached out and turned it off. The entire tap broke off in my hand, and a jet of water reached the ceiling.

There was no shut-off under the sink, and we couldn't find the main shut-off for the house. The agent had to wait hours for a plumber to show up, by which time the entire kitchen was ruined.

Or so I heard - I'd left with my tail between my legs.

Zynnia Mon 08-Jul-13 22:59:02

omg! i'm laughing here! that is the kind of thing that happens to me! can you imagine moving in on day one and turning the tap on for a cup of tea! you spared some poor new home owner that drama!

Empross76 Mon 08-Jul-13 23:04:39

One where the owner had clearly just done a big stinky shit in the bathroom. Opened the bathroom door, hit by the stench, the estate owner ushered us out of the house and apologised profusely.

Empross76 Mon 08-Jul-13 23:08:36

DP and I went to view a flat to rent in a converted house. The owners lived in the downstairs flat so we went into their flat to chat further, sign papers, pay deposit, etc.

We went back home and had a phone call about an hour later from the landlord asking if I had, by any chance, picked up his TV remote control?

Turns out I had, whilst taking cheque book and wallet out of my bag, managed to put his remote control in.

I must have seemed like a right kleptomaniac. He still rented us the flat, though.

steppemum Mon 08-Jul-13 23:32:14

we went to view a house. We had 4 houses to view one after another and we had dd2 in tow (aged 3)
In house 2, very nice, beautifully presented house, immaculate, very nice lady showed us round.
There was a dolls house in one bedroom and dd was looking at it, lady said that is fine, and we turned to talk to her about something.

Turned back to tell dd it was time to go, to discover she had weed on the carpet blush blush

was so embarrassed, apologised profusely and left quickly. Then had to strip her, put her naked in car seat, dash to asda, buy clean knickers and trousers, back to car and then to house number 3

tigerlilygrr Wed 10-Jul-13 18:09:42

I viewed a house with an ensuite shower room. Which would be lovely were it not for the fact that the owner had removed the partition wall. So it was effectively a maste bedroom with a shower basin and toilet in it. I left after explaining to the EA that we aren't that kind of couple!

I also viewed another house which the estate agent insisted was tenanted by 'city professionals'. I don't know what was the more obvious tip off: the Uni textbooks, the general levels of mess, the studenty posters ... Or the incredulous looks on the part of the very-obviously-student tenants when the EA described them to me as city professionals. In front of them.

holidaybug Thu 11-Jul-13 23:33:07

We have a corker ... When viewing one house, the vendor actually got into her bed ...

OnIlkelyMoorBahtat Fri 12-Jul-13 13:54:58

holiday bug [shocked] what, to sleep? Did she talk to you from it? Don't leave me hanging! grin

Once viewed a flat where the vendor very proudly showed me the bath that he had mosaic-tiled himself - "It's like a Roman bath, see?" - but the trouble was that the tiles were very obviously wonky and not level, and the grouting in between them was actually more like cement, so every time you'd slide into your "relaxing" bath you'd graze all the skin of your backside! Didn't take that one...

VerityClinch Fri 12-Jul-13 14:09:37

You will all love picture 4 of this house

flow4 Fri 12-Jul-13 15:02:36

There is only one picture available on the link now, so the EA must have agreed that the other pics were, hem, amusing! grin

holidaybug Fri 12-Jul-13 18:54:33

She just sat in bed with her collection of cuddly toys and yes she was over the age of 30. The lounge had lots of picture frames on the walls but still with the picture inserts in. No photos or pictures. The house was later repossessed - their business went bust and they fled the country. Well weird!

Chocolatehunter Sat 13-Jul-13 01:22:57

We viewed a house once and it was all going so well. We'd been told that it was tenanted but we could see past the clutter and mess. That was until me, dh and ea all tried fitting into the en suite.

They aren't designed to be big and with three adults there's not many places to look. I looked down to find the toilet seat up with what looked like the largest poo a human had ever taken. It was standing up by itself, waving out of the water.

We didn't buy the house, we went for the identical house up the street which didn't have the same toilet troubles.

Onetwo34 Sat 13-Jul-13 02:01:35

House turned out to be owned by the friend of a celebrity, who they were obviously very close to, so there were pictures everywhere of this character doing normal stuff, which was strangely jarring. Like, Rita off Corrie, having her Christmas dinner on the mantelpiece, there she is again on the way up the stairs, playing crazy golf with a child.
It wasn't Rita, but you get the idea.

DalekInAFestiveJumper Sat 13-Jul-13 02:50:39

First flat I ever bought belonged to an elderly couple that attended the same church my parents did. I'd known them for years. I worked with their youngest daughter.

Most of the place was what I'd expected, floral prints and hand crocheted doilies, pictures of the grandkids on the wall.

The master bedroom? S&M parlor with sex swings and leather and a mirror bolted to the ceiling. Sextoy chandelier. Sex. Toy. Chandelier.

For years, I had to fight the urge to giggle every time I ran into them.

echt Sat 13-Jul-13 02:55:45

I'm thinking about that chandelier, was it like those rotating kitchen implement racks, where you grab the item you want, or purely decorative? Or was the chandler in itself part of the process - like the sex swing?

DalekInAFestiveJumper Sat 13-Jul-13 02:59:27

I've always assumed it was just decorative. It never occurred to me it might have been, ahem, practical. But it WAS hanging from a sort of silk rope thing, so who knows? Brain bleach! Eek!

giantpenguinmonster Sat 13-Jul-13 04:39:57

I viewed a house where one of the kitchen cupboards had a notice on it saying something like "Do not open. Rabbit in cupboard".

The tenants had found next doors pet rabbit in their garden and were keeping it there till they could return it.

I viewed another house that I was really excited about as I'd been looking for ages and it looked very promising from the outside. It was 1970/80 but turned out nothing had been done since it was built. It was a complete renovation opportunity. Worse, it was a deceased estate and was full of the owners Star Trek collection. His glasses and open novel were next to a rocking chair! It was really, really creepy.

Meringue33 Sat 13-Jul-13 08:27:03

I viewed a studio flat that was currently tenanted. The (20-something) tenant was cross-legged on the top bunk, eating some pot noodles. With his mum.

MyBoysAreFab Sat 13-Jul-13 08:39:43

I went to view a flat on a Sunday morning as arranged. The flat stunk of fried sausages. As the owner was showing me round, he was smoking a fag and flicking it on the carpet.

echt Sat 13-Jul-13 12:28:36

Thank you dalek. Brain bleach had occurred to me too.grin

Cremolafoam Sat 13-Jul-13 12:41:08

One house we viewed the lady's dying father was in the living room in a hospital bed hooked up to life support. She told us he was not long for this world and so she was selling the house from under him
Horrifying.sad

Another house we viewed was being sold by a religious fundamentalist and he spent the 15 minutes we were there giving us tracts about how we could be 'saved' . The walls in the kitchen were papered with bible pages. I joke you not .shock

Another house had feral guineapigs running about the entire property. It stank like a giant litter cage.grin

FairyThunderthighs Sat 13-Jul-13 13:42:23

We looked at a house to rent where the landlady was a huge gossip, she owned a row of about 5 houses, and in the 15 minutes or so we were there she had told us the ins and outs of all the other tenants lives! "Oh his wife left him so he's a bit depressed, put lots of weight on.." Etc. Then she randomly asked me if both of my children had the same father! Bloody cheeky! This house was marketed as a three bedroom but apparently she didn't like that, and wanted us to put our baby and 7 year old in a tiny single together and use the third room as a study, which we had no need for! Declined that one.

Viewed another house where the tenants were still in situ, sitting around in their pants. Toddler wandering around with a nappy hanging down almost to his knees because it was so wet. It was a really nice house though and we said we'd take it. Agreed a date to get keys, pay deposit etc with the letting agent, then a few days before I phoned them to ask a question and they said "oh...it's not quite ready yet..tenants left a bit of a mess. Landlord says he can sort it but he needs about a month to do it. You can move in on this date." We said fine. Gave notice on current property, started arranging things to move. Then the weekend before we were due to move in we phoned to arrange a time, the letting agent said "it's going to take at least another 6 months..I suppose you want your deposit back..?" Bloody cowboys!

FairyThunderthighs Sat 13-Jul-13 13:43:21

Sorry, that turned into a bit of a rant and didn't quite meet the "funny" requirement!

bryonywhisker Sat 13-Jul-13 22:59:45

FIL painted the inside of his bath black with some kind of gloss paint. It was everso flaky. Wasn't present at any viewings when he left but would have liked to have been grin

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