Lovely house for sale, but picture 11 made me pmsl

(54 Posts)
TerribleTantrums Fri 21-Jun-13 13:27:37

Way out of my price range but near my friend's house so I had a look out of curiosity. I bet those sign-post things cost a fortune but it would have to go if it was my house. Here. I mean, really, how likely is anyone to get lost and need direction in less than an acre?

RippingYarns Fri 21-Jun-13 13:31:54

i think the signpost is the best feature tbh

it all looks a bit staged for my liking, a bit too new

<puts cheque book away>


TerribleTantrums Fri 21-Jun-13 13:36:09

It is new-ish. It was built during the Celtic Tiger, they finished it after the economy went to shit but it was never lived in. Now that the market is beginning to recover a bit there are quite a few of this type of expensive newish build coming onto the market. They do tend to have a show-house look generally, but I think this one would be quite nice when softened with my style of interior design, you know, knee-deep in plastic tat and small chocolatey hand-prints on the wall. grin

TiggerWearsATriteSmile Fri 21-Jun-13 13:46:30

Money just can't buy taste.
Awful monstrosity

terrible you sound like you might know the location did you grow up down the road like I did grin

Dumpylump Fri 21-Jun-13 13:50:29

Is it just me, or does the blurb about it read like it was written by someone for whom English is not their first language?

iseenodust Fri 21-Jun-13 13:51:59

That first picture with lights makes it look like a pub!

I've just re-read your OP and see that it's near your friend's house, scratch my question!

Also re the blurb - I thought epicurean was something to do with food, not houses?!

TerribleTantrums Fri 21-Jun-13 13:54:35

Nearby OnTheBottom but at a higher altitude. Same parish. Love your name BTW.


RippingYarns Fri 21-Jun-13 14:33:55

iseenodust snap grin

What made me pmsl is that almost all the pics are from the outside. With just one of empty stairs and hall, one of a huge bedroom with a bed bunged over in one corner,and a library with all the books higgledy-piggledy on the shelves like someone just knocked them all over.

No pics of the kitchen, other bedrooms,bathrooms etc etc. Bizarre. Unless the seller ran out of money and these rooms are not finished..... after they spent all their money on the landscaping!

wonkylegs Fri 21-Jun-13 14:59:23

I hate the stair spindles with a passion they look like cast iron garden furniture.

pootlebug Fri 21-Jun-13 15:54:12

What a triumph of money over taste.

ThePurpleCarrot Fri 21-Jun-13 16:05:12

"Here guests will contentedly meander through the 1.5 acres of grounds, along 250 metres of brookside paths (nocturnally illuminated) observing trout scurrying for cover in the pristine waters."

hahaaaaaahaaah...trout scurrying. Have you ever seen a trout scurry? No but I've eaten a king fish curry.

OrmirianResurgam Fri 21-Jun-13 16:10:24

Oh good lord! shock And it's lit up like a high security prison.

GreenEggsAndNaiceHam Fri 21-Jun-13 16:15:46

Thank you, I need a change of username and now I have so many to choose from. Yongreeneggsandnaiceham

JustGiveMeFiveMinutes Fri 21-Jun-13 16:16:32

I want to sort those bookshelves out.

Brillig Fri 21-Jun-13 16:19:54

wonky, yes, exactly. <shudders>

The signpost is hilarious. In fact the whole thing is. Yet again proof that having money is no guarantee of good taste grin

xigris Fri 21-Jun-13 16:28:41

Hilarious! I read 'meeting of yon waters' as 'meeting of yon wankers' grin.

I've just read the full description which is very entertaining. What I want know is, WTH is a 'vacuum system'? is it some sort of magical hoovering device?

ThePurpleCarrot Fri 21-Jun-13 16:30:50

Could they have done anything more to make the bedroom looks the coldest most unattractive/unappealing bedroom ever?

ThePurpleCarrot Fri 21-Jun-13 16:32:07

and the horrid cheap internal doors - yuk. My favourite bit is the EAs blurb. Hilarious.

CanadianJohn Fri 21-Jun-13 17:03:56

xigris, a central vacuum system is like a very powerful hoover fixed in one location, with ducts throughout the house. You plug a hose, sometimes with a powerhead, into the ducts. The central vac does the sucking, the dust is filtered to a container, and the exhaust air is vented outside.

Quite common over here, and not that expensive (about $1200, say £700, for a cheap system). Because the business part of the "hoover" is fixed in one location, the motor can be very heavy and powerful, and the external exhaust keeps the air in the house cleaner.

Erlack Fri 21-Jun-13 19:38:38

What a bizarrely presented house. My favourite bit is about the "bouquet of the shrubbery delighting the senses". Yes. I just love the smell of...shrubs. grin

TerribleTantrums Fri 21-Jun-13 19:47:21

I hadn't actually read the blub, I never really do. It is bad, isn't it? They must have got an office junior to do it, or somebody's wife who fancies herself as a romantic novelist

I would have worries about a house that had never been lived in, especially empty for four or five years and then tarted up. I would imagine that it's never had a proper snagging procedure, because you often don't realise that something is wrong until you are living there and using things.

hermioneweasley Fri 21-Jun-13 20:27:55

There's a weird lack of photos of inside the house. And too many of the ornamental bridge.

GemmaTeller Fri 21-Jun-13 20:33:54

This trophy home will appeal to the epicurean purchaser seeking a spatial home of supreme distinction

what the what now?

AdiosMuffinTop Fri 21-Jun-13 20:35:50

I like it. I'll take it.

AdiosMuffinTop Fri 21-Jun-13 20:37:20

You know what I don't like? not the sign, that is fine, it's the little bridge which is a copy of the bridge at the botanic gardens, but in the botanic gardens it looks just right surround by beautiful plants and flowers. It looks a bit stark in the middle of an immature garden.

AdiosMuffinTop Fri 21-Jun-13 20:38:55

Gemmateller, I missed that, thanks for the laugh!!!

LondonBus Fri 21-Jun-13 20:43:48

The bridge is awful.

I've never disliked a bridge before.

newtonupontheheath Fri 21-Jun-13 20:50:17

It reads like that episode of Friends when Joey uses a thesaurus to choose better words for his letter/speech!

decaffwithcream Fri 21-Jun-13 20:52:01

I think they nicked the bridge from the Japenese gardens in Kildare.

Tis tres Celtic Tiger indeed.

Adios, that lovely green bridge in the botanics is gone, I'm sad to report. There's a shiny new bridge in its place.

Hassled Fri 21-Jun-13 22:05:32

I took one look and thought Celtic Tiger grin

The bridge is the same as the one in Powerscourt, isn't it?

Chunkamatic Fri 21-Jun-13 22:39:13

Oh my god that is pure shite!

AdiosMuffinTop Fri 21-Jun-13 22:39:50

oh your kidding? Yes, powerscourt is more my direction than glasnevin.

I like this myself this is cheaper too but bray might be a bit rough for the good folk of Rathmichael.

AdiosMuffinTop Fri 21-Jun-13 22:44:36

and, this house has also been on the market for about five years! I have it in my basket favourites ! I think I might put in an offer. If your first offer doesn't offend it 's not low enough right?

AdiosMuffinTop Fri 21-Jun-13 22:44:55
Manchesterhistorygirl Fri 21-Jun-13 22:47:06

The banisters, copied from the titanic.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Fri 21-Jun-13 22:48:50

The sign is well naff - however, it isn't its biggest problem by a long shot. 2 million euro... ha fecking ha.

AdiosMuffinTop Fri 21-Jun-13 22:50:24

and my favourite, I couldn't leave this view This is in my favourites too.

joanofarchitrave Fri 21-Jun-13 22:50:57

Urgh to the first one. Low ceilings, doors from Wickes economy range (just like our house, but we didn't pay a million for it) and what looks like an exercise yard surrounding it.

Yum to Ardara. Though I would find myself saying 'Captain's Log Stardate 3010' every time I sat in that study chair.

AdiosMuffinTop Fri 21-Jun-13 22:51:55

grin yum indeed uhura

MadBusLady Sat 22-Jun-13 11:58:30

Wow, it has a faux-castle gate! See pic 12. I've never seen solid stone made to look like stone cladding before.

MostlyLovingLurchers Sat 22-Jun-13 12:09:57

I thought the bridge was more inspired by In The Night Garden rather than the botanic gardens - it goes over the little path to Makka Pakka's house and everything! I think the sign post would be the only thing i'd keep - it's hysterical.

GemmaTeller Sat 22-Jun-13 13:39:19

I think I quite like the house blush

I would definately get a gardener in to fill up all those beds and borders.

It would look better once I've added:

ye olde boxers and their massive beanbag
ye olde boxers outside toys, paddling pool and trampoline (yes really!)
ye olde craft room for me
ye olde recording studio for dh
ye olde ironing and laundry pile
ye olde daughter home from uni plus son and dil on a visit

MissStrawberry Sat 22-Jun-13 13:49:20

Not enough photos. Didn't see bathrooms, kitchen or downstairs loo. And only one bedroom.

Sign post would be better without the yon crap.

How much is it in £'s?

nowahousewife Sat 22-Jun-13 14:01:29

MissStrawberry, it doesn't have pohto's of the kitchen because I don't think there is one fitted! EA's blurb reads "Large kitchen/dining room plumbed for Aga and gas". Don't know much about the property market in Ireland but here in West London for £2m we expect to have a kitchen included in the price wink

A very ugly house!

EleanorFarjeon Sat 22-Jun-13 20:15:46

'pathways scattered with seating where occupiers can sit' grin

That is one fugly house. Those stair balustrades are just hideous.

ReluctantBeing Sat 22-Jun-13 20:19:24

I like it, but I will admit to having no taste.

musickeepsmesane Sat 22-Jun-13 20:25:47

why are there books and no furniture? Did I miss the kitchen? So many pictures of the garden.
Made me laugh though smile

ScentedCandlestickMaker Sun 23-Jun-13 10:57:28

I agree, it lacks taste, but I think it's hard to make large new houses tasteful for some reason. I agree it's dreadful but if you gave it to me I wouldn't say no thank you. I was driving down the bc road yesterday thinking about this thread confused what a Bermuda triangle between mn and rl. I got the luas to Dundrum yesterday and there are apartments that have been sitting empty for 5 years and now they are being actively marketed. Don't tell me it's all going to go mad again. Hopefully this time round people will just say no no no I am not paying 750k for a favela in a cul de sac.

flow4 Sun 23-Jun-13 11:23:17

Oh alriiiiiiight, if you lot don't want it, I'll have it. Just to be helpful, you understand... grin

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