House buying conundrum

(78 Posts)
WireCatWhore Wed 05-Jun-13 15:52:56

We sold last week & also had an offer accepted on a house we want.

Vendors estate agents been a bit weird.

I got the impression maybe the vendors were going to pull out. So I put a hold on the survey.

I got notice of a house to market so as this present house was a bit up in the air, I decided to view, just in case.

Bloody hell.

I prefer this house I have just viewed. It's much better located. It's nicer.

It's not perfect but then neither is the 1st house.

Naturally, 1st house is still definitely available.

So I'm stuck now. I'd feel bad to pull out. This house has also been on for 8 months. Also these vendors need to find somewhere.

The house I recently saw, the vendors have somewhere to go. There would be no chain really. We have cash buyers, no chain.

Would I be the worlds most horrible person if I pulled out of the 1st house?

I'd hate it to happen to me, so I'd feel terrible. And yet, this is a lot of money & where we will live, so it's a HUGE decision.


Wishiwasanheiress Wed 05-Jun-13 15:54:20

If all the family agree then yes I'd go for it.

TheReturnoftheSmartArse Wed 05-Jun-13 15:54:34

No, put yourself first. I'd feel guilty to, if I were in that position, but in this case, you and your family come first. It's just business, I'm afraid.

WireCatWhore Wed 05-Jun-13 15:56:36

Oh god.

I just feel so bad.

The vendors are a lovely couple.

I'm actually quite a hard faced cow normally. confused

nemno Wed 05-Jun-13 15:57:00

Pull out, without any guilt whatsoever. It would be ridiculous to commit at such an early stage to something that is wrong for you.

Bowlersarm Wed 05-Jun-13 15:57:18

You have to do what is best for you and your family.

Console yourself with the fact that if it has only been progressing for a week, the vendors won't have spent too much on their aborted sale.

mistlethrush Wed 05-Jun-13 15:57:42

Pull out sooner rather than later.

WireCatWhore Wed 05-Jun-13 15:59:17

Thank you all.

Doing a 2nd viewing on Saturday. So very selfishly, won't pull out till after that.

THAT is what makes me feel worse.

It's like having my cake & eating it.

But I also have to cover myself. Don't I.

Oh my god. I'm not moving. It's too hard!

Erlack Wed 05-Jun-13 16:05:51

You are really under no obligation at this stage to the first vendors. House buying is a big deal, you need to be really sure about what is right for you. I think we all sometimes forget because it can be so emotive but ultimately, it's a business transaction. smile

TerrysNo2 Wed 05-Jun-13 16:21:56

Although they will be gutted and severely pissed off, as I was when our buyer pulled out, its not a reason to go ahead with such a massive decision.

You have to do whats right for you but without making promises or leading them on too much. The thing that bugged me most when our seller pulled out was that she had outright lied to me about her intentions. You can't expect anyone to part with that much money if its not right for them but I hope we all deal with people with common decency.

FWIW I don't think you are being very unreasonable. Just make your decision asap and don't leave it 5 weeks like our buyer. Bitter, me? grin

WireCatWhore Wed 05-Jun-13 16:26:23

Good god, it wouldn't be 5 weeks. That would be utterly terrible. It will be Saturday at the latest. Tomorrow if I can convince my dh.

Lavenderandroses Wed 05-Jun-13 16:39:49

We pulled out of a house sale days before exchange. We felt awful but our dream house came up and it was the one! We couldn't go through with the sale and miss out.

WhatKatyDidnt Wed 05-Jun-13 16:43:24

There is no conundrum... Go with the house you love!

Our vendors pulled out after 3 MONTHS. I had to resign my teaching post by May half term, phoned their estate agent to check it was all progressing, was reassured, resigned, got a new job in the new area for September. The vendors knew this. THEN they pulled out. We were then totally tied by my new job and had to find another house in the same area. Didn't end up moving until the December. The commute with small children was not fun.

OP I think pulling out at this point would be fine!

WireCatWhore Wed 05-Jun-13 16:52:09

Oh my god king thistle, no way would I do so etching like that.

I mean, if I don't pull out this weekend, I won't pull out. It's not fair.

I really like the house I saw today though. It's much better. And 30 seconds from the school gate. wink

WireCatWhore Wed 05-Jun-13 16:52:27


Bloody iPad.

MultumInParvo Wed 05-Jun-13 16:57:56

What if someone else views it before you and offers??? How can you take the strain of waiting till Saturday?!!!

LazyMonkeyButler Wed 05-Jun-13 17:01:15

Look at this way - say the houses cost £250k each. Are you really going to spend £250,000 of YOUR money just to keep a couple of virtual strangers happy?

Yes, they will be disappointed but that's no reason to buy a house. If you don't go for the one you prefer you may well have resentment for the house you felt too guilty not to buy!

Spend YOUR money on the house that will make YOU & YOUR family the happiest. It is business at the end of the day, not a popularity contest.

And this said by someone whose buyers' buyer (IYSWIM) pulled out the week of exchange & one week before completion.

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Wed 05-Jun-13 17:01:31

I'm in the same position. Luckily the first house's estate agent and sellers have been vile. Unfortunately other people are interested in the property that is my perfect home. We're putting an offer in tomorrow. Need lots and lots of luck!

I would very much like to tell estate agent number one where he can shove is patronising, condescending, unethical advice. I do so hope I get the chance.

LazyMonkeyButler Wed 05-Jun-13 17:03:22

I'm with Multum - get that second viewing in tonight! grin

LazyMonkeyButler Wed 05-Jun-13 17:05:20

And best of luck YouKnow (unless of course you happen to me my buyer <paranoid>) grin.

WireCatWhore Wed 05-Jun-13 17:12:50

My husband can't view till Saturday due to his working hours.

It is a pain in the arse tbh. wink

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Wed 05-Jun-13 17:16:11

Thanks Lazy!

I'm sure you're not smile our seller has done everything we've asked them not to and nothing we've asked them to.

I'm beginning to see why it's been on the market 2 years.

WireCatWhore Wed 05-Jun-13 17:17:36

Good luck youknow.

I guess you may have to offer asking price.

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Wed 05-Jun-13 17:46:24

Wire cat, i reck

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Wed 05-Jun-13 17:48:29

Posted too soon! I reckon we will. But for what it is it seems a bargain even at that price.

I'm trying not to get excited, but it's really hard.

I've never walked into a house and felt it was so right.

Good luck on Saturday. It's horrible waiting and wondering.

WireCatWhore Wed 05-Jun-13 18:30:31

That's what I got today.

I got "the feeling".

I've heard of "the feeling" but thought it was a load of crap.

It isn't!

Let me know how things go for you!

Erlack Wed 05-Jun-13 20:04:22

I would really love to see the second a links out of the question? grin

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Wed 05-Jun-13 21:01:00

Me too! The first house ticked lots of practical things like plenty of storage, but the second one just... It made me smile.

Surely links would jinx it all! Links after completion to be sure grin

formicadinosaur Wed 05-Jun-13 21:38:18

I think you have to follow your heart at any stage. The only time you are committed is on exchange.

WireCatWhore Fri 07-Jun-13 13:50:26

I've been to the 1st house today. Well the area, not into the house. Had a walk around
Area is fine. I had a wobble about the area.

So will make final decision tomorrow.

How's it going for you youknow?

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Fri 07-Jun-13 21:21:42

Hello wirecat smile

Well, our offer is in on house number 2, and our survey on house number one came back today. It has major damp problems that could cost 10s of thousands to fix.

In many ways I'm very glad we saw house number 2. Otherwise this news would have been devastating. Either way house number one is off the cards. I'm looking forward to telling the vile estate agent, but need to bear in mind that it's possible I may want to buy from him at a later date.

How can I tell him to go screw himself in such a way that he won't hold it against me grin

Jan49 Sat 08-Jun-13 00:34:39

I think it's fine to pull out, WireCat, but I think if you do you could explain to the estate agent that it looked as if the vendors were about to pull out so you carried on viewing other houses and that's how you came to find the alternative house.

WireCat Sun 09-Jun-13 10:05:01

Bugger me.

House I liked before ours sold has come back on the market.

Much bigger.

This is ridiculous.

I must stop being so indecisive.

We are making a decision this evening & I simply must out this 3rd house out of my mind. Especially as its very near the 1st house.

WireCat Sun 09-Jun-13 14:01:53

Regardless, we are pulling out of the 1st house.

Am seeing the 3rd house on Weds. Is huge. Fits all our needs.

Or we will go for the 2nd.

Coconutty Sun 09-Jun-13 14:06:29

Someone I know has pulled out of a sale twice on the actual day of exchange. She sees nothing wrong with this.

WireCat Sun 09-Jun-13 14:16:18

That's awful.

I certainly wouldn't do that.

Hence us pulling out now, as we are wavering. It's not fair on the vendors.

The people who pulled out of the house we are seeing on weds have pulled out of another property with the same agent a few months ago. This agent said they won't deal with these people again.

Pulling out on the day of exchange is the stuff of nightmares!

TerrysNo2 Sun 09-Jun-13 17:11:57

wirecat you must be the only person on here who is spoilt for choice! let us know which one you pick!

WireCat Sun 09-Jun-13 17:30:19

Threw a bloody spanner in the works with the 3rd house coming back on the market.

Mind you, you think they'd be more enthusiastic about a viewer. EA was saying to em, we are ready to go, mortgage sorted, our cash buyer has had survey done. Weds evening was the soonest we could view. hmm

WireCat Sun 09-Jun-13 20:13:33

We are going for house 2.

Decision Made.


WireCat Mon 10-Jun-13 13:03:29

Pulled out of 1st house.

Offer in on the second house.

fingers crossed

WireCat Tue 11-Jun-13 18:18:20

So offer on 2nd house declined. Fair enough, thought they would. But the spanner in the works for that house is that the house they were after has gone so they need to do a whole new search.

A house came on the market the other day, that I liked but was sold before mine. Except its come back on. Am going to view that tomorrow evening as they have a house to go to.

So another decision to be made on Thursday!

nemno Wed 12-Jun-13 15:26:07

So what was the house you viewed last night like?

WireCat Wed 12-Jun-13 16:41:49

That's tonight I'm viewing that.

Then it will decision time.

Will report back later!

nemno Wed 12-Jun-13 19:35:17

Sorry yes, thought today was Thurs...long week.

Good luck

WireCat Thu 13-Jun-13 09:46:20

Loved last nights house.

Offer in!

drums fingers impatiently

Erlack Thu 13-Jun-13 10:26:40

Oooh, this is so exciting. Keep us posted!

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Thu 13-Jun-13 19:05:36

Exciting times Wirecat!

We've just been back to house number 2. I love it. We're still waiting to hear back on our offer. So far nothing. But they have been on holiday so we knew there'd be a delay. There's another offer in too.

They might steal my house sad

flow4 Thu 13-Jun-13 23:34:33

So...?! grin

Jaynebxl Fri 14-Jun-13 07:57:33

So is the offer in on the third house?

WireCat Fri 14-Jun-13 12:09:32


It's the 3rd house. After all that! grin

Loads of space. And a futility room!

Hope you've heard youknow.

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Fri 14-Jun-13 15:34:35

Wirecat that's great news! So pleased for you! Still no news at this end. Very frustrating. Could mean ours was the higher bid and they're contacting the other buyers to up theirs, or could mean no one has been in touch yet.

Calling the estate agents this afternoon. But I'm not expecting anything.

WireCat Fri 14-Jun-13 16:55:23

How crap.

The waiting is horrible.

Are you buying in Scotland?

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Fri 14-Jun-13 17:56:18

Nope and still no response. I'd rather have a no than a nothing.

WireCat Sat 15-Jun-13 09:43:03

youknow I think it's rude not to at least phone and update you. Fen if the vendors haven't made a decision.

Our house is showing Sold STC today grin

I love this house. I am Very Happy!

WireCat Sat 15-Jun-13 09:43:28

*even not Fen (?!)

nemno Sat 15-Jun-13 10:40:02

What a lovely feeling that is WireCat smile Fingers crossed it all goes smoothly.

Good luck YouKnow

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Sat 15-Jun-13 21:51:41

Wirecat that's great news. I know what you mean, i
I'll be very glad when I don't have to deal with estate agents anymore.

Thanks nemno.
Think we might need it!

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Sat 15-Jun-13 22:07:03

WireCat that's great news - congratulations - I hope it all goes smoothly!

WireCat Sun 16-Jun-13 15:59:02

Thanks all.

I'm very excited!

WireCat Tue 18-Jun-13 11:11:18

Wars happening with your house youknow?

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Tue 18-Jun-13 17:14:36

Hi wirecat. We just spoke to the estate agent who said that the buyers were "considering accepting" the other offer. Having discussed it we then phoned back with a higher offer and the woman we spoke to said "oh we've just posted out an acceptance of the other offer". Which seems really odd. So we've put in a higher offer (and would be willing to go up again if need be) but I'm really worried.

It's all very odd. We asked in the first place whether it was a case of "closed bidding" or something and they said no, to just make offers as normal.

I will be devastated if we don't get it.

WireCat Tue 18-Jun-13 17:18:19

Sounds very bizarre.

I hope the EA didn't go back with the higher offer as they've accepted the lower offer.

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Tue 18-Jun-13 17:41:25

I just want to know what's going on. I thought we were at the bidding stage only to be told it's all done.

Could be miscommunication as it seems we're being told different things by different EAs. Just need to not panic!

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Thu 20-Jun-13 21:49:48

And in a similar vein to you wirecat; come on down house number 3!

Have just seen what might be the perfect house. No work to do on it. A huge garden. Perfect location. Will be phoning the estate agent first thing for a viewing.

We're still waiting to hear back on number 2 but now I can't decide!

YouFloatLikeAFeather Fri 21-Jun-13 09:48:00

So to those of you who have viewed/offered on second houses, do you withdraw from the first house before offering on the second? Or have two offers simultaneously?

Asking as we are potentially in a very similar situation.


YouKnowOfTheCrunch Sat 22-Jun-13 10:02:02

Hello float, still waiting for estate agent on house number 1 to get back to us (2 weeks later!). We've left it as "due to amount of work needing doing is the price negotiable since if not we'll be pulling out". Sec

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Sat 22-Jun-13 10:04:26

Posted too soon!

Second house we're still waiting to see if put offer might be accepted (could go out of price range anyway).

Third house I would wait for offer to be accepted (if we Make one) before pulling out of the others. But they are all with different estate agents. If they were with the same one that would be more difficult.

WireCat Sat 22-Jun-13 22:03:18

I pulled out of the 1st house before offering on the 2nd.
Then we saw the 3rd so went for that.

youknow, can't believe you still don't have an answer.

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Mon 24-Jun-13 19:24:22

Hi wirecat, still no contact from house number 1!

House number 2 Estate agents have been in touch but not heard back from sellers yet.

House number 3 was tiny and terribly laid out (think Enormous ensuite bathroom next to bedroom so small you could only fit a bed in). We were so disappointed.

Think we'll be phoning EA number 1 tomorrow and saying that since we've had no reply to our queries either by phone or email we'll assume there is no room for negotiation and pull out.

WireCat Tue 25-Jun-13 13:01:56

Yeah, don't bother with house no1 youknow.

I also viewed a disappointing g house. Looked wonderful on paper, but very small inside.

Hopefully you'll get somewhere with house no2.

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Wed 26-Jun-13 18:50:33

Thanks wirecat smile

We're going to view a few more.

Called EA of number 1 today to say that having heard nothing we assume the worst so are pulling out. He insists he never received email (although can't deny the 2 bloody phone calls asking the same things!) and asked for it to be resent before we make a decision. So we've resent and left it at that again. Should have just pulled out really <sigh>

No more news smile you'll be completing before we find one!

WireCat Wed 26-Jun-13 20:58:31

Hmm, slimey EA.

Good luck, hope you do actually hear back this time.

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Sat 29-Jun-13 16:23:21

Thanks wirecat, we've been to see 3 more today (decided to take the bull by the horns) and 2 of them are definite contenders. One was just lovely and would need nothing doing to it. The other was a lot of work (not looked after at all) but huge and had beautiful original features (if you could look past the piles of rubbish).

I'm feeling a bit more hopeful that we will find something.

WireCat Sun 30-Jun-13 15:01:38

I'd love original features. Do you have the time/money to sort that house out if you bought it?

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Mon 01-Jul-13 19:08:07

I think so. It's more a case of enormously time consuming than a large cost, and we could probably do bits as they need doing.

We've finally had a reply about house number 1 saying no negotiation, so we've officially pulled out. Still not heard back on number 2.

Incredibly (and yes this is a different EA!) we put an offer in on lovely house (we could only afford it if they would accept an offer) and we got a reply on the same day!! Ok, so it was a no (expected), but still, nice to know EAs can do what you expect.

We're going to go and have a look at the other one again on Friday. The more I think about it the more excited I am about it. Yes it's more work, but we can really make it ours.

Fingers crossed we still like it on the second viewing.

WireCat Tue 02-Jul-13 13:23:56

Good luck for Friday!

YouKnowOfTheCrunch Tue 02-Jul-13 16:41:41

Thanks Wirecat. How's your house going? Are surveys and things happening?

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