Feeling miserable in our new(ish) house(16 Posts)
Hello - just hoping for a bit of advice & a vent really! Feeling really foolish so don't want to speak to friends/family apologies this is going to be long!
We bought our new house just over a year ago and I have been pretty much miserable ever since. The idea of a move was to get out of the city to be slightly nearer parents, be in a more rural area whilst also being able to commute to work. We saw a few houses in a village we love and eventually found one we both liked, we were desperate to move so decided we should just go for it. At the time I had a few little doubts but for some reason didn't listen to my gut, the house was really expensive meaning we have big mortgage payments, and is not in the ideal area. The locale of the house is lovely, nice area just on outskirts of village, walking distance to amazing pub, beautiful view of hills & village. However, we are literally 5ft off a moderately busy B road, it didn't seem bad when we were viewing (we viewed twice - I'm thinking the sellers must have bribed somebody to stop traffic or something!). It's not the sort of busy that means we have much trouble pulling out of our drive really, but is fairly constant during day, at busy times maybe 1-2 cars a minute, and definitely busier than I thought. It is a 30mph limit but lots of people speed and there are no pavements in front of our house (pavement starts maybe 100m down road from our house). The noise is definitely audible in garden but decking/lawn area is to the back so doesn't drown out voices, you can hear it in house but isn't super loud as we have double glazing. It's only really annoying when a motorbike/tractor passes, which is actually quite often in the summer.
I just can't believe I overlooked this when we viewed, we got it slightly under asking but it's still a very expensive house, I wouldn't mind if I loved it but I'm hating it more every day. I feel silly but I'm miserable, the noise irritates me when I know it shouldn't as its not actually that bad, and sometimes if a car is coming fast when I'm pulling out of drive I get a fright and worry about accidents. I have become fixated on the road which is such a shame as the house itself is beautiful but I can't enjoy it properly. I feel we made such a stupid mistake and feel sick we will never be able to sell because of the road. Now I'm pregnant due in January and sick with worry that this is a dangerous place to raise children, I'm worried enough about my house cats escaping and getting into the road!
I really want to sell but know we would probably have to take a huge loss. Have spoken to my husband about it but he gets quite frustrated about the way I'm feeling as there is not much he can do about it, the road doesn't bother him as much as me. Just feeling really down and wish we could go back in time anyone else been in the same position? Am I overreacting?
Sorry for long moaning post, just don't know who to turn to about this!
You cant reduce traffic volume or type, although the bikers will vanish soon. The tractors are part of the deal.
But... As you have a 30mph limit you can try to do something about enforcement. Have A chat with the council to begin with. You dont want speed bumps (wreck cars and add noise) but there are other ways.
Any road is a risk . make sure you have an escape proof garden and lock doors.
Can you see it as a 'for now' house? As in plan to live there for 3 years/5 years and then move on? You could work towards downpaying the mortgage or saving some money for the move. We compromised on a few things in the house we currently live in, but sort of planned that we wouldn't be there forever. Agree that you could probably get the council to do something about the speeding too.
I agree, just see it as a "for now" house, then you might not feel as stuck. You might actually begin to forget about it. You can put gates on your property once your child is walking and you can get trees and plants that are screens for noise. Don't worry about selling and all the "what ifs". Most things we worry about don't actually happen.
I can understand the worry of kids getting out onto the road, Could you put a fence up, electric gates etc so you can get on and off easily but also make sure a toddler doesn't just run out?
Could you look at heavier planting in the garden to help minimise the noise from the road when in the garden, and something like triple glazing in the house?
If you live in the countryside this really is the noisiest time with all the farmers getting the harvest in but that should be done now, with just the ploughing then it becomes quiet again.
If you are pregnant your hormones will be playing havoc, but perhaps you could use this as a reason to create a part of the house you love, create a magical nursery, perhaps you could find a wind charm you like the sound of to hang outside the window and create another distraction to the car noise
Thanks for the replies everyone I really appreciate it I think it's a really good suggestion to see this as a 'for now' house, seems much more liveable that way! I just get so angry with myself as I look around and it's a truly beautiful house and it's not super heavy traffic, I just want to be able to enjoy the place without all this anxiety. My poor husband thinks I'm crazy!
We are getting a fence put up in a few weeks time with a gate for the drive so hopefully that will help me feel better too! We have spoken with council about speeding so fingers crossed they are going to do something about it.
I think you're right Clark the pregnancy hormones will not be helping! I just want to stop feeling this way and enjoy this time, annoyed with myself! We have such a cute room for the nursery so I should just get my act together and start decorating, I just find it quite difficult to gather the motivation in this house.
What makes you think you will lose money? Do you know how much it is worth?
A friend of mine made a mistake and put her house on the market six months after moving in. In six months they made money and bought the next house up the rung (that they couldn't have afforded six months before).
I would move. Life is too short to put up with things that make you unhappy.
That sadly wouldn't be the case for us Rowena, the market has dropped since we bought and the house has probably lost around £40k, that on top of buying/selling costs makes it a depressing thought having to sell :-( that's why I'm kicking myself every day haha! Wish I could just get on with it and like the place but doesn't seem to be happening!
Not exactly helpful, but we also bought on a30mph road that people go quicker on, buses etc. The original windows were noisy and draughty too.
We spent about 6k upgrading to triple glazing and the difference is massive.
The most stress is caused by things that are out of your control, so either find something constructive to do, or focus on other things. Like with people, you can't control these things, you can only control your reaction to them.
I hope you can feel happy though, having spent all that money it's a shame it didn't turn out as you hoped.
Clearly the road is not the main reason here. Perhaps you are hormonal plus addition of the recent stress of buying the house.
I was unhappy with my new house for while, even put it back on the market, but after viewing other houses it helped me to remember why I bought this one in the first place.
It may be not my forever house, but it will do for now and that is good enough for the time being.
You are allowed to move again, you know just do not put too much of stress on yourself and just live it out for a couple of years. It may get better or it may get worse in which case you can sell and probably recoup your money.
are you sure you're not suffering from a bad case of buyer's remorse? no house will be perfect and you'll always have to make compromises. in this case it's the road in exchange for being closer to your parents, which seeing as you're pregnant now is ideal!
try not to beat yourself up for making a mistake and focus on why you liked the house in the first place. have you looked into secondary glazing? that's the best for noise reduction apparently.
Don't know if it's helpful but Ive recently moved into a rural house. However, the motorway is actually really near and really noisy. The previous owners have planted bay trees all around which are growing quickly and really help block out the noise
We live near a road with a fair bit of traffic noise, but our small pond/waterfall blocks much of the sound.
Could you install a water feature in your backyard area?
We have just moved into a village and can't believe how noisy it is! Previously lived in a leafy City suburb, on a no through road.
Here, there's tractors, delivery vans, people passing walking dogs and stopping to chat, and if the wind's in the right direction the mainline train!
Still love it, though!
JT How right you are about rural life. We live in a rural area with largish gardens. There is always machinery noise of lawn cutting, hedge cutting, particularly from the residential home opposite. Harvesting noise going on til late at night, shooting early in the morning. Get togethers at the Home with sing alongs and bands (quite enjoy). Heavy parking at the church, roads blocked, delivery vans, lost people knocking on my door.
My dd has moved near to a largish supermarket in a cul de sac with a train line out the back and yes, it is quieter than here!
I think people take it for granted that rural life will be quiet when the reality is different. However, op I have lived here for eighteen years and have sort of zoned out the noise because it is part of being here. When my dh is off work, he remarks how incredibly noisy it is though and he should be used to it by now.
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