Pigletjohn can you please just tell me what to do?

[CowVersusMouse]

Hello can you please tell me which white paint to get?

It's for the whole house which is quite big
painting over cream
I will be painting while looking after two young children so if one coat is possible that would be best/quickest
Wipeable or touch uppable
Prefer very mainstream so I can buy pots for touch up later.
Don't mind if it's very stark as we're covering it with pictures
Walls are very smooth.
Ideally something I could do the skirting boards with as well to save time, don't mind if it looks slightly odd.

Please just tell me one and I'll buy 150L of it (literally I think :/)

[PigletJohn]

I've always been happy with Dulux, but it tends to be more expensive than other major brands. Whatever brand you name, there is always someone who loves it, and someone who swears it is rubbish.

You say you are covering existing paint, so you don't need Supermatt which is particularly suitable for new plaster that is still drying out, and is not very durable.

Vinyl silk is pretty durable and can be sponged clean.

If the existing walls are silk, try not to choose a matt as it will not adhere well. You can use matt on a ceiling as it will not get much dirt or physical contact, and it hides unevenness. Personally, I like a silk ceiling as long as it is perfectly smooth and flat.

Buy more dust sheets than you think you need. Cotton ones are a bit absorbent and will go in the washer. Thin polythene is cheap but you may fall over on it.

Old walls can be dirtier than you think, especially above head-height. If you sponge them with a warm water and a trace of WUL, any dirt will show because it will go into smears. Dust off with a dry cloth and wash with a soft brush and sugar soap. You can use old towels to rub them dry, and the dirtiness of the towels will show if they are still dirty. If there is wallpaper paste residue, warm water will turn it to sludge and a broad metal scraper will take it off. Repair any damage with fine surface filler and a broad metal knife, pressing the filler so hard that there is no lump remaining on the surface. Scrape it smooth with a broad metal scraper, not sandpaper, preferably while it is still cheesy. Until painted, water may wash out filler. Mist coat any bare plaster or filler, preferably twice, and allow to dry before applying your finish. Two coats are better than one as they will cover any thin or mist patches. You might need three if covering murals, patterns or strong colours.

Avoid ultra-cheap "value" or "basics" paints as I have always found them to be coloured water.

If there is a Brewers near you, they sell Albany brand to the trade, which seems fine to me. You may find Trade outlets such as the Dulux centres charge you a high retail price with no discount. Places like Wickes sell own-brand in a limited range of colours in 15litre tubs which can be good value, and Screwfix sell Leyland. In both cases people argue about how good they are. In a kitchen or children's room I would only use a very reputable brand because of cleaning resistance.

Search online to see who has a sale on. There are often offers around Bank Holidays.

If you buy it in plastic tubs they can be resealed and kept. Metal tins never reseal perfectly.

Stir it ten times as much as you consider necessary. Start with a plastic spatula to get the sediment off the bottom, and finish with a whisk.

You will only be painting one room at a time, so don't buy much more than that, in case you don't like it. I find 5 litres is not quite enough for a typical room.

Don't use PBW on walls. You will soon get fed up with it. It is OK to do a whole house in 2 or 3 colours; if contiguous rooms are different, it will be less noticeable.

Never put glue on a surface you hope one day to paint.

[PigletJohn]

p.s.

you mention skirting (also have architraves and doors).

It is probably scratched or gouged so will need rubbing gown and filling. Do that, and undercoat, before painting the walls, then topcoat afterwards (because of drips).

A non-drip gloss is easy to apply and gives a tolerable finish. PBW is most popular and easiest to touch up. Water-based does not yellow.

Eggshell will soon get dirty, so avoid it.

[CowVersusMouse]

Amazing thank you so much!! Next bank holiday is the 30th so I'll get some equipment and first few litres then :) hope they make overalls in baby sizes