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Join our Property forum for renovation, DIY, and house selling advice.

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Property/DIY

When do you take kids to see new house?

18 replies

cheminotte · 17/06/2016 21:06

We sold our house about 2 months ago and found a house to buy a few weeks later. There's been some delays with the chain but it's moving again and we hope to exchange in about a month then complete end July / early August. The dc are 9 and 6. When is the best time to take them to see the new house. I wasn't planning until exchange in case it fell through but I'm not sure if we should make it sooner?

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BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn · 17/06/2016 21:19

I had either 1 or both with me for many viewings. When we found the one, they were on the second viewing with DH as only I had seen it. They didn't know we had already offered and it had been accepted. We didn't tell them we were actually buying it until much later, before exchange though but our buyer was 1st time cash buyer and our vendor had to sell the house and was moving into council accommodation so we knew it was very very unlikely to go wrong at that stage.

They went to look at it again the day before completion when we met up with the vendor to go over bits and pieces.

Chillywhippet · 17/06/2016 21:21

I needed to do some measuring so took kids with me. I wanted them to see what we were talking about. The youngest is 10 and I think they would be OK if it all goes pear shaped.

I was measuring distance to boundary as we are probably going to extend as soon as we can get a builder. Just need survey, exchange and completion first.

So to answer your question. It depends how you think they would cope if it unravels. If you don't have long between exchange and completion you will be really busy.

Still have answered question

Pigleychez · 17/06/2016 21:25

We moved a couple of years ago when the girls were 3 and 5.
We moved approx 50 miles so left the girls with grandparents whilst we had a day of house hunting. We had a shortlist from looking online.

We returned to couple and took the kids to a few and let them have in input into which one they liked best, Thankfully they loved the house we did too!

After exchange we visited again and they choose their bedrooms.

cheminotte · 17/06/2016 21:44

Well our survey has been done, mortgage approved. Ditto for our buyer. We do need to go back and do some measuring. We made an offer after the first viewing although we went back again in a lunch break since then.

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pearlylum · 18/06/2016 06:48

No rules here.
I didn't take the kids to see the house, first time they saw it was on the day we became owners and had the keys to move in.
OH didn't see the house either until that day.either, I viewed it alone, loved it, and OH was happy to help sort out the finances and mortgage on that basis.

pearlylum · 18/06/2016 06:51

pigleychez- would you have allowed you children to influence your choice of house purchase?
Knowing mine at that age they would have made a decision based on the fact that the house had a bird table or a shower curtain with dolphins on it.

cheminotte · 18/06/2016 08:26

We are thinking 1.5 - 2 weeks between exchange and completion. We have been talking about the new house and have shown them the pictures from the EA. Ds1 gets quite anxious about change but as it's happening now it's probably better for him to have more knowledge of what it will be like. We lost our buyer earlier on and our seller waited for us to resell so I'm reasonably confident she'll wait again if needed. But the actual move is still over a month away and I don't want them overexcited too soon.

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DollyBarton · 18/06/2016 08:29

Life lessons! I don't think potential fall through if the purchase is something they need to be shielded from. Let them be a part of it, their disappointment if it doesn't work out would be sad but this is a chance for them to get practice in for the future (seeing how deals are made, weighing up options, the nerve wreaking wait etc).

JellyTipisthebest · 18/06/2016 09:09

First moved when dc1 was 6mth she viewed all of them, Next moved when about 5 and 9 showed them online, drove pasted and took them on second viewing of a few. I think they need to know whats happening and what house you might move to. Its to big a thing to only talk about when they are asleep. The kids wanted to know how they would get to school, which room they would have ect. It really helped in the whole process.
The next move was overseas so they help in the tidying, the packing ect. We could answer many of the question that time as we didn't know either.
We have moved from holiday rental, to rental and now our own home in the new country they have been evolved in each move. They saw loads of houses and had views on each that we took into account. The oldest checked out where her school bus went so she knew where she would catch the bus. The kids need to know they have a say even if in reality its a small one.

Melawen · 18/06/2016 11:19

I took DD(4) to the measuring up second viewing after my offer had been accepted. She love the house and much bigger garden. But on getting back in the car she said the house made her sad - most likely because she though it was like last years holiday house and we were staying there that night!!

She's been a lot more positive about it since and can visualise her new bedroom and fab garden when we talk about it.

specialsubject · 18/06/2016 11:20

After exchange! BTW I hear that it is worth ensuring that the younger one knows that all their possessions come with them, apparently not all realise this.

dynevoran · 18/06/2016 12:02

Mine not bothered about it so i tell them early and when 2 fell through they didn't mind. Don't visit after viewings until exchange though apart from when they let architect come to measure so they haven't been in but have seen pics. Exchange next week!

wonkylegs · 18/06/2016 12:08

We brought DS (5at the time) to see the house after we had had our offer accepted and the survey was done, we came to sort out with the sellers buying a few things like the ride on mower off them, it was a lovely day, the sellers were fab with DS (he was taken for a ride on the mower & an explore round the gardens, I think it helped he was a similar age to their grandchildren ). As we moved regions it ended up being a day trip but worked out well. DS wasn't impressed that his room to be was purple but we discussed painting it etc and making it his own.
We knew it was a fairly stable and very short chain so it wasn't too much of a risk that it was going to fall through.

Pigleychez · 18/06/2016 20:01

Pearlymum- I guess it would of depended on their reasons. I do think DD2 thought that the previous owners dog would come with the house.

We wanted them to have an input especially as it was a big move meaning leaving friends/schools ect.

StepAwayFromTheThesaurus · 18/06/2016 20:09

DS2 (6) came with us when we viewed the house we're buying as they wanted to do an evening viewing. DS1 (now 16) was out so he didn't see it but I showed him some photos. I took both boys back a few weeks ago (it's been a long, stressful process as the vendors are a bit of a nightmare) to see it and to let them think about which room they'd like etc (it's got 5 bedrooms and there are only 4 of us so they have choice).

DH was so worried about showing them it in case it all went wrong (he has anxiety issues which don't help with things like this). He actually wanted us to wait so the first time DS1 saw it would be when we moved in . I told him that isn't at all fair and that he deserves to know where he'll be living. He's perfectly capable of understanding the precariousness of house buying and dealing with disappointment if necessary.

BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn · 18/06/2016 21:05

Yes both of mine were relieved when they realised all of our stuff would be coming with us, it didn't occur to me they would think any different until they kept asking if certain toys were coming.

And DS wanted me to buy the house with the cupboard under the stairs. So he could sleep in it. Despite me telling him he was getting his own bedroom he would still rather have had the cupboard so he could be like Harry Potter. He also wanted the house with the greenhouse. I don't think there were any houses the kids didn't like tbh but they had reasons for really wanting some of them.

cheminotte · 19/06/2016 08:04

Thanks everyone. I clarified with ds that everything would be coming with us. He double checked that his bed and his favourite cuddly toys were included in 'everything' 😀
Will talk to estate agent and see if we can organise a visit at the weekend in 2 or 3 weeks.

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JoyOdell · 19/06/2016 08:19

Mine have been to all three viewings. We also drive past fairly regularly to jog their memories. Definitely agree about explaining that all their possessions going too, my 4.5 year old still hasn't quite got this. Every house we viewed he judged on whether or not they had toys in - no toys meant he didn't like it! luckily he found a single, solitary ball in the house we chose (which was half packed by the vacating tenants already) and this made it acceptable.

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