bad neighbours(15 Posts)
We moved into our house 6 years ago and i can honestly say its been the worse house choice we,ve ever made.my neighbours on the one side have from day one took a dislike to us .We are very quiet people my self DH and 2 sons.I think we are too quiet.We hardly get any vistors my family aren,t bothered and my dh family are deceased.I have struggled to make friends since we have moved and i know my nxt door neighbours who have lots of family visting have picked up on this.However like i said over the years there has been lots of incidents -mainly when we have anything new done to the house.When we had new windows and doors they phoned the police on us for parking on our drive!then when we had a new garage door they stood shouting in the garden about it.They also stare all the time either at us or in the house-i,ve had to put blinds up making the living room really dark but they still look.
There have been many more incidents which i won,t bore you with but things came to a head on Monday.I was returning home with my small son from school when a friend of theres was parked across my drive blocking me access.He made no attempt to move and was talking to both my neighbours so i beeped my horn.He eventually started to reverse his car giving me a mouth full of abuse saying he could park where he wanted and i should learn to drive-he had left me the tiniest amount of a gap to get on my drive.my young son was upset as so i was i.my neighbours were smerking and loving it.They bad mouth us to anyone who will listen.i did ask him why i shouldn,t want to park on my own drive to another mouth full of abuse.i was fuming.after he eventually drive off after still sitting in his car talking about me to my neighbours i went out and asked both my neighbours why they have to bring other people into things and if they had a problem they knew where i was- i was so mad and at this point figured it makes no difference if i stay quiet or say something they do as they please.i phoned the police as i had really had enough and felt if i didn,t do anything they will continue to esculate things.They have spoken to them and i did feel better.Their daughter-in law came this morning as i was taking my son to school and was giving me filthy looks-which i have been expecting.I know the only answer is to move but we can,t afford too.i would be more than grateful for any advice or stories.sorry for going on but i have no-one else to talk too.many thanks
So sorry for your plight, I didn't want to read and run.
My only suggestion is to look into how you might move, even if it is tight financially.
Hope things improve
I'd also second looking again to see if you can afford to move, life is too short to feel uncomfortable in your home.
My only other suggestion would be to literally stop acknowledging their existence. They can give dirty looks but the key is not to care, don't waste energy on even considering what they are doing and why. Unless they are directly impeding you going about your business, ignore ignore ignore. Did the police give you any advice re: any direct confrontation?
You have my sympathy
thanks for your both kind replies.i would love to move in a second i would do it but i,m not working at the moment due to ill health but am desperately trying to get back into work.i have for months just totally ignored them-but like i said monday was the final straw when they get other people involved-they are very sneaky people.to be honest the special police officer they sent round was useless he didn,t even want to have a word with them-his only advice was to move.even if we could afford to move who says we wouldn,t be moving next to someone else like them?
If you can't move, I second the idea of eradicating them as far as possible. Don't acknowledge them - look through them. Put up high trellis and cover it quickly to regain your privacy. Put up a fence between your front gardens. Just... create a safe space for you. Good luck
Otherwise, front it out. Wave cheerily and say hallo every time you see them. They won't know how to deal with that!
Could you move your living room or space around/ switch rooms with the dining room so it makes your living space more private?
You can guarantee that any future neighbours won't be like these people but at least you can check them about before any moves. These people are clearly barking and probably thrive off the confrontation, you can't reason with them. Living with this kind of tension is not going to be good for your health but in this situation sadly the only power you have is to control your perception of their behaviour (I mean this really kindly).
Are you absolutely sure you can't move? What about a move to a less expensive area? We didn't think we'd be able to move, but got a valuation and realised with a bit of belt-tightening we could - best decision ever. I would look seriously at every single option. It's miserable not being happy in your own home
huge thanks to you all for your very helpful replies.i have been tempted to wave and say hello in the past its a great idea but i don,t know if i could lol.I am going to do what we,ve always done and just pretend they don,t exist as hard as it is.I take no pleasure from arguing with anyone.I have just this minute finished my application to return to nursing- so fingers crossed i might be able to retrain start work again and then move on-at least its given me the push i needed to do that.moving the room round is also a good idea.thankyou all for sharing-i feel so much better for it xx
Just be aware you have to declare any disputes with neighbours if you wish to sell your house. So completely ignore them from now on so that when the time comes you can say in all honesty that there has been no issues since X date.
As you got the police involved there are documented records of the incidents.
Best thing would be to talk to a solicitor about moving to see how you can word any questions on the seller's information pack.
Weirdly you may find that when you do go to move, the neighbours will make it difficult for you to leave. My friend had all this. She sold her house to an investment company who rent the houses out so it was of no concern to them about previous disputes with neighbours.
thanks doodle i did think about before i phoned the police but to be honest i am at the end of my tether and it will be a long while before they push me out.I feel stronger than i have done the last few days they are just a couple of sad jealous people who have nothing else to do.It must be terrible to live a life so jealous of your neighbours .
I know where you are coming from. We have had very nosey neighbours on one side for 18 years. They don't speak to us and call us names and throw rubbish over the fence. When we see them in the front garden they stare us out. The man is very fat and aggressive and the woman looks like a man. They have no children just loads of animals. They think they are far superior to us but they are not. They have what my mum used to say "kippers and curtains".
They feed birds but only on our adjoining fence. This attracts rats and mice. I think your problem and mine is one of jealousy. Basically your neighbours are jealous of what you have and this can't be beaten. I agree with the other posts maybe it's time to move and leave such horrible people behind. Get well rid. We will as the situation is getting worse.
I had some awful neighbours a few years ago. I remember I used to dread coming home wondering what fresh hell would be waiting for me. Inconsiderate parking (they thought nothing of blocking other people's driveways and then going out, parking in other people's driveways and parking on other people's front lawns) they had frequent, loud parties, their screaming kids playing in my garden (even after I secured and locked the garden they would climb over the 6 foot fence)?! and I would have abuse shouted at me for being in my own garden. Fortunately they were in rented accommodation which they couldn't afford... I struggled not to help them pack the day they were evicted!!
Whilst in that house I had probably 5 sets of neighbours. I've since moved twice and I have never had any other neighbours like them. When you can move do, your sanity does not have a price.
In the meantime spend the least amount of time at home, move things around so they can't see you, and brazen it out. Make it clear whatever problem exists it is their problem and don't get drawn into any unpleasantness.
thanks hellomee great advice and i am glad you have not any troubles since.x
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.