Should i put a gate in fence between us and neighbour?

(28 Posts)
oldbrownboot Sat 30-May-15 08:44:55

I haven't suggested this to neighbour yet, just want advice on whether it would sound odd/ whether anyone has this arrangement?

we live in a 3 bed semi with long thin garden. neighbour bought at same time as us (18 months ago) but has been doing extension and plans to move in in summer. Current fence between us is low and we know they would like a higher one. We can see their point so are considering doing this (fence is our responsibility) in summer when I am due some money. They seem really nice, my DP in particular chats with them a lot. We've helped each other out with tools/ lifting heavy stuff/ gardening/ cups of tea etc whilst we've been doing work on our houses.

Would it be odd to suggest a gate in the fence? does anyone have this arrangement and have examples of it working? We'd be happy to lock it (could this work?) and each have a key/ mutually agree only to use it when agreed necessary (e.g. if they went on holiday and we were watering their garden). Reason for suggesting this is that at the moment we are able to hand things (tools, wheelbarrows, logs for woodburner etc) over the fence or through gap in the end. My DS also climbs over when his ball goes in their garden. there is no access to the side of their house so you have to go through the house to get out the front. the garden is quite long and no access at the end as back on to a school. happy to talk this through with them but just wanted a sense of whether this is weird.

SavoyCabbage Sat 30-May-15 08:48:08

We had one when I was little as everyone had doc the same age. I don't think it came about until the dc were of 'playing out' age.

superram Sat 30-May-15 08:52:21

I wouldn't allow it, especially if they are selling. You are essentially giving strangers access to a space where your kids should be free to roam. It could also cause access issues in the future if you can get out from either garden. I would think you were nuts.

vienaa Sat 30-May-15 08:55:23

My parents did with the old neighbours for years, until they died, they even had a key to the house and then dad just blocked it off again when new people moved in, as when my parents were on holiday or working they could water the garden, if he needed a tool or something, bring in the milk as they had a milkman back then.. it worked for them.

LIZS Sat 30-May-15 08:58:09

I wouldn't . It sets a precedent. Neighbours did as there is a right of access and they often had bbqs together but both have since moved on and no guarantee new ones will otherwise get along - one has kids, one has dog.

StonedGalah Sat 30-May-15 08:58:48

No. They want a higher fence for more privacy! Neighbours putting in a gate would be weird.

PeaceOfWildThings Sat 30-May-15 09:01:20

It s a bit weird. You seem to be overthinking it a little, and it seems a bit odd. Your DS shouldn't be climbing the fence to go and get his ball, and wanting a gate there so that he can continue to go into his garden to get his ball is odd. The neighboura wanting a higher fence could be theirvway of saying 'you're his parent, you set him (and tourself) proper boundaries!'

That said, ask the neighbour, but remember they can move and you might get people next door who don't want going into your back garden when they feel like it.

Kerberos Sat 30-May-15 09:05:37

We have a gate between us and our neighbours put in at mutual agreement. Both sets of children love it as they can flit between the two houses. Parents are close friends of ours so we use the gate also to go through to let their dog out and feed their cats.

AlternativeTentacles Sat 30-May-15 09:07:20

They want more privacy not less.

NorbertDentressangle Sat 30-May-15 09:07:29

I've seen a few threads on here over the years that make me say "NO! Don't do it!"

It won't end well.

MrsRossPoldark Sat 30-May-15 09:17:26

When I was little, we had a gap in the hedge by our front doors so we were always skipping through to play with the kids next door. When they sold up to a new family with younger kids, & I'd moved out, they didn't speak to my family and put a trellis in the gap which the hedge grew over! Ok, we got the point!!

SugarPlumTree Sat 30-May-15 09:24:19

I think the wanting a higher fence is them gently saying they would like more privacy and asking them about a gate would be embarrassing for both of you. Leave that idea and get the ball thi g sorted before they move in so he knows not to just go and get it.

GranSteadsRhubarb Sat 30-May-15 09:32:49

Like others have said, I think the neighbours are trying to tell you that they want privacy. It'd be a cold day in hell before I agreed to a gate in an adjoining fence no matter how pleasant my neighbours were.

needsomefeckingprivacy Sat 30-May-15 09:34:44

No, no no! Take the hint!

oldbrownboot Sat 30-May-15 09:59:28

thanks all, I am glad I asked as I didn't realise how weird it was (Also grew up in a house where we flitted between our garden and neighbours all the time).

sanfairyanne Sat 30-May-15 10:10:51

if they want a higher fence, ask if they would like to contribute, and ask about gate at the same time if you want. i would find it handy and we have talked about it before with neighbours. you can just lock it if they move.

PlainHunting Sat 30-May-15 11:40:57

I would only do it at a much later date if you became best friends with the neighbours and their children and were in and out of each other's houses and gardens all the time and it made the lives of both sets easier (avoid kids traipsing through each other's houses when playing etc). And I'd have a legal document drawn up that the gate would be removed and replaced with a fance if either party chose to sell up.

No way on earth I'd do it with people I didn't really know what well yet.

It was the norm when I was growing up though.

LBOCS Sat 30-May-15 11:47:32

It's very nice of you and everything - but why are you offering to replace a perfectly good fence just because they want it higher? And are you SURE it's your responsibility? The only way to tell is if there are T marks on your deeds; the idea that the fence on one side of your garden is yours is an urban myth.

3littlefrogs Sat 30-May-15 11:53:40

I would never put a gate in a boundary fence - who knows what may happen in the future if one or other family wants to sell/move. you may inadvertently create a right of access that will come back to haunt you.

Just nail some trellis to the top of the existing fence and plant some climbing plants and a couple of shrubs/small trees. If you put in a couple of stakes, your plants will provide an attractive but functional barrier without the need to replace the fence.

BlinkingHeck Sat 30-May-15 16:26:42

We had a gate through to my friends garden at the bottom of ours. It was nice. It got blocked up when they moved. But My Mum and my friends Mum were really good friends.

I wouldn't pay for new fencing on your own either, especially as they want it higher.

Kvetch15 Sat 30-May-15 17:19:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LikeABadSethRogenMovie Sat 30-May-15 17:24:37

If they're planning on moving anyway, why are you replacing a perfectly good fence?

But it would be a big no from me if a neighbour asked to put a gate in our boundary. If you don't hang out all the time, that would be weird.

RoosterCogburn Sat 30-May-15 17:36:45

My parents did this with their neighbours - however they had lived next door to them for 15 years so they knew it wasn't going to be a problem - before the new fence went in we all just used to climb over the broken bit

When the NDN moved my dad just replaced the gate with fencing.

stonecircle Sat 30-May-15 17:58:24

Weird suggestion. And if they don't want a gate, how do they say, 'no' without them feeling they might be offending you?

Surely you're not considering replacing the fence just because they want a higher one? I presume it needs replacing anyway?

BearsAndAngels Sun 31-May-15 14:33:35

In our street most houses have a high fence which step down to waist high fences right at the end of the garden, which allows privacy with some discrete access if required. We used to have a compost heap at the end and the kids used to use that to scramble between the gardens. Woudl something like that work?

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