How would you deal with this neighbour?

[stargirl04]

Hi, I've only just moved into my first home and already I am bothered by my neighbour!

We share a small communal hallway and he/she has left two bags of smelly old clothes and shoes outside her front door, just a few feet from my front door.

I realise that to a certain extent this is "my" problem as I'm a very clean and tidy person and looking at (and smelling) these two bags of minging items really bothers me.

The bags have been there for 10 days now, but were not there when I first moved in.

I want whoever lives there to remove them. I haven't actually met the resident yet although my bf reckons it is a woman living there as he could hear her talking on the phone when he was in the hallway.

At first I wanted to try to resolve this without causing offence, but each day the bags remain there, I am becoming more annoyed.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom please?

[stargirl04]

Sorry, forgot to mention that me and just my neighbour share the top floor of our apartment block (new-ish-built in 2005).

[beanynamechange]

Knock on her door and ask for them to be moved?

[HolidayCriminal]

is it possible you could say the bags are a fire risk (could trip over them while trying to evacuate).
Most apartment buildings have policies about obstructing access.

[Ragwort]

Surely it would be a good idea to introduce yourself to your neighbour anyway ........ you could exchange pleasantries and then ask if she knows anything about the bags?

[stargirl04]

Yes, I could use that one, HolidayCriminal, thanks. My main concern is that it could attract pests.

I work nights so if she works during the day we aren't likely to see each other, so I may have to put a note under her door.

Thanks.

[LaurieFairyCake]

Eh? How would clothes and shoes attract pests ?


Unless you mean sex pests with a shoe fetish?

[stargirl04]

Hi Ragwort... the only concern I have about appearing friendly is that she may decide I'm a soft touch and not remove the bags.

Also, I can't help thinking that I would not want to be friendly with someone like this.

[stargirl04]

Hi Laura, well, quite... you never know, right?

Moths feed on clothes and moth infestations are an expensive hassle!

[GloriousGloria]

Has she kicked her ex out and he's delaying collecting his stuff?

[LondonGirl83]

Introducing yourself doesnt make you soft-touch, it just polite. Sometimes I worry this culture has simply forgotten the basics of being part of a community. If you work different hours, introduce yourself on the weekend. Ask about the bagsthere may be a reason they are there. If not, then ask if she can move them.

When we bought our house, we introduced ourselves to all our neighbours on both sides and the back. There was a gap between purchase and move in and when we did move in, one of our neighbours bought us a welcome plant. All of them say hello, wave etc. And I live in London!!

[GrendelsMinim]

If you think she might be a bit odd, all the more important to get off on the right foot by introducing yourself politely.

And if your first ever contact is a note to ask her to remove her bags, she may think that you're the odd one!

[stargirl04]

Thanks for this advice, LondonGirl and Grendels. I'll do that.

Gloria, it is women's stuff outside the door. She may be about to give it to charity or something. Or she may be gay

[HolidayCriminal]

Moths will only get in your clothes if you put away damp items with some organic material on them in a dark place. If your own clothes are stored clean and dry there's no risk.

[stargirl04]

Hi HolidayCriminal. In my last place my clothes were stored clean and dry, with not even a sniff of any damp whatsoever, and moths still ate my clothes! My partner, who has his own place, which isn't damp, has resorted to keeping all of his jumpers in plastic bags to deter moths!

[HolidayCriminal]

How weird. Well maybe the standard advice about moths is wrong or maybe there are different moth varieties. We've had clothes moths. As soon as I found the single item they were eating I washed it & no more moths seen, and certainly nothing got eaten that wasn't slightly manky & forgotten in a dark place. I've never had a lot of holes made by moths even when we did have them.

[burnishedsilver]

Maybe she doesn't own them. Maybe she thinks they're yours. I'd suggest introducing yourself and asking if she knows where they came from.

[BackforGood]

For goodness sake - knock the door and say hello!
Putting a note under her door when you've never even met her is really not a good way to introduce yourself to your new neighbour.

[beanynamechange]

Equally, if you try knocking on a few different occasions is put a note through her door saying 'hi, I'm stargirl from across the hall! I've tried to introduce myself a few times but I don't think our shift patterns are coordinating! Feel free to come over for a cuppa if you notice I'm home and il keep trying you too. Hope your move went well! Stargirl'

[Tabithasgran]

I would just move then to the bin area.

[stargirl04]

Hi Beanynamechange - I'm the new person who's moved in and the person across the hallway is the existing resident. Whilst I really appreciate your thoughts, I don't think I want to make quite that much effort, tbh... and - as a resident of London - would not particularly want to invite a stranger I have never set eyes on into my home for a cuppa.

Burnished silver - there is no way the other resident would think they were my bags. They clearly belong to the other flat.

Back for good. Yes, I've already decided against the note under the door option. At the moment I don't have time to knock on her door but plan to do so this weekend.

Tabitha'sgran, that's what I'd really like to do but will try to resolve it more amicably first...

[MissWing]

Persist with the knock and introduce option, and do not mention the clothes the first time. Most likely wmeeting you will remind her to move them, but mentioning it straight away will not get things off to a good start.

[samsam123]

put in the bins

[LadyRabbit]

Woah stargirl
and - as a resident of London - would not particularly want to invite a stranger I have never set eyes on into my home for a cuppa.

Really?! Really???!!
Um, she's your NEIGHBOUR. Not a stranger.
And living in London is not a reason to be completely devoid of neighbourly etiquette or basic friendliness. I have lived here for a long long time and have been fortunate to make great friends out of neighbours over the years. It requires effort but the rewards - a sense of community, genuine closeness, helping one another out - are wonderful. If communities were made up of people who didn't want to engage with other human beings coz "it's a London thing" (it isn't, that's a weird perception) then where would we all be?!

Please grow up a little and just be nice first then ask for her to do something about the bags. It's just good manners really.

[Ragwort]

Do people really think that badly of their neighbours?

What would you do in an emergency? Surely you would like to at least know the name of your neighbour?

I despair of some of the comments on Mumsnet occasionally and thank God I get on with my neighbours and we help each other out. We have elderly neighbours who need help, families with young children, disabled people etc etc - where is your sense of community that all you worry about is a few bags of clothes?

So, did you introduce yourself to your neighbour at the weekend?

[MrsTaraPlumbing]

Introduce yourself and try to be nice.

From personal experience many years ago I was that annoying neighbour! I lived above someone and we had a shared hallway.
2 or 3 times she contacted me (sometimes phoned me - I was just upstairs) to complain about whatever I was doing.

Everytime I felt really sorry and apologised and had no problem doing what she asked.
I had simply been a little thoughtless and yes left stuff in the hall way for weeks without thinking about it (actually cos someone was supposed to come and get it but they kept not turning up - you see there was a reason)
and a few other things...

So sometimes people are just thoughtless and would be happy to change something if they knew it annoyed you but perhaps assume that it is not a problem.
(Clutter in the hall way would never bother me).