I'm an idiot

(110 Posts)
AnuvvaMuvva Wed 18-Dec-13 22:47:05

Split from XH a few years ago and have been living in the marital home with the DC. When it was time to apply for DS1's secondary school, decided to make the move back to my family's town so we'd be there "for good".

Put house on market - 40 viewings, 7 offers, accepted the second highest at 50k over asking price. Unbelievably surprised and happy.

That extra money gave me the real possibility of buying a place, rather than moving back in with parents and saving up. All good.

Found a 3-bed place just 2 minutes' walk from my parents' house. Ugly from the front, on a busy main road near a garage and a speed camera (!) but quite nice inside. TINY garden overlooked on all sides. Walking distance to the schools. Put in 3 offers until they finally accepted one at £5.5k under asking price.

Paid £300 for mortgage broker to get me a mortgage. Paid £640 for a full structural survey. Paid £300 to solicitors for search fees.

Am now having second thoughts. sad The house has been on and off the market since Nov 2011. Rented out when not on market. They've had previous offers which have dropped out, often days before completion.

Everyone I meet in that town (via a Facebook group) seems to have viewed that house at some point and disregarded it. It's a nice town, but the house is in a row of about 10, all 70s built, that just seem a bit... rough. Which is the only reason I can afford it, tbh. It's about £50k less than other 3-beds.

I've spent SO MUCH MONEY because I got all excited and just HAD to secure the house... And now I'm not sure. It's £235k FFS! Cheap for the town but in all other senses it's ALMOST A QUARTER OF A MILLION.

Survey came back fine, except he advised that the double-glazing was shot (misting), and to get vendors to give a legal declaration of any previous noise problems - the houses have no sound-protection and he said a "large unaccompanied dog next door barked throughout the viewing".

What do I do? If I pull out of this, I can move into my parents' house and be a cash buyer with a mortgage AIP when my house completes. That's not progressing as fast as I liked either -- they had a mortgage valuation and a couple of things on that have led them to book a buildings survey next Monday.

I've never done this before and feel I've been too impulsive and rushed into things. And I'm worried my solicitor is going to think I'm a time-wasting idiot if I back out.

I'd be walking away from a cheap bird in the hand for a prettier, nicer two in the bush that May or may not come on the market next year at my price.

Don't know what to do. Sick of thinking about it all, tbh. And spent ALL my money on a house I'm not sure about! Only have £350 left till I get paid. sad

AnuvvaMuvva Wed 18-Dec-13 23:22:06

My other dilemma is - do I buy a house by myself, or buy one together with my partner?

We're engaged. He lives at his mum's house as he had to pay back a lot of loans he took out with his ex to extend their house. She lives in the house with their 2 DC and his name us still on the mortgage, and she'll never be able to buy him out. She refuses to sell, too, so his money is all tied up in there.

Even with his mortgage, we could borrow more together than I can by myself. But I've never had money before - I wanted yo keep it safe in a house I bought for me and the DC, so we wouldn't lose the house if I split up with him. I don't anticipate splitting up, but anything can happen.

Being thisclose to affording a place on my own makes me think I should buy it by myself, and then he can move in.

AnuvvaMuvva Wed 18-Dec-13 23:23:16

My head actually hurts. So many decisions to be made. And the DC rely on me to make the right ones! Arghhhhhhh.

Preciousbane Wed 18-Dec-13 23:25:20

The price is almost irrelevant if the house is not right for you.
How sensitive to noise are you? I am incredibly sensitive and a very light sleeper. I found my dream home about three months ago that was in my price range. It was on a busy road after four visits to the road I realised there was no way I could have coped with the noise at all.

Twenty minutes walking is fine surely to be able to pop in?

Preciousbane Wed 18-Dec-13 23:27:51

Regarding a partner moving in.

I am very careful with assets and if your assets are currently very unequal how would you arrange your living arrangements financially?

Can his ex not buy him out?

Preciousbane Wed 18-Dec-13 23:28:19

Sorry just seen you have said she cannot buy him out.

AnuvvaMuvva Wed 18-Dec-13 23:29:58

I guess 20 minutes is fine. Where I live now is 45 minutes DRIVING so anything will be better than that!

AnuvvaMuvva Wed 18-Dec-13 23:31:43

Preciousbane - we talked about the money side. He's happy either way (to buy together or for me to buy alone) which makes it another decision I have to make! Lol.

Then I guess we'd split the bills as normal..?

AnuvvaMuvva Wed 18-Dec-13 23:33:55

Thank you all SO MUCH for taking the time to reply. My head's spinning with all this, I'm eating non-stop, sleeping, just looking to distract myself from it all. I'm finding it really stressful. sad

I have been incredibly happy where I live now, I didn't really want to move. But I'd never be able to move on without selling/splitting this last asset.

AnuvvaMuvva Wed 18-Dec-13 23:34:17

And I can't afford to buy here.

Manchesterhistorygirl Wed 18-Dec-13 23:34:51

Get your valuation survey booked in, it's unlikely to be done for Christmas now, go down for Christmas and have a walk up and down a few times, and also walk to the other houses you can afford. You've got the luxury of the Christmas period to think about and make your final decision, lots of breathing space. smile

Write a list of pros and cons for each type of house and situation re: partner.

antimatter Wed 18-Dec-13 23:34:53

if your parents live there they should know that road very well. can I assume you've never lived in that town so you don't know it?

How far is it from London? Prices here are creeping up now - could that affect your town?

SomewhereBeyondTheSea Wed 18-Dec-13 23:38:36

Just wait. You're clearly not ready to commit to what will be the biggest financial commitment of your lifetime.
Don't want to sound harsh but just going by the general gist - do not buy anywhere yet. Rent for a while. Get to know the area better so you can judge the neighbours etc for yorself. The right opportunity will happen to you.

AnuvvaMuvva Wed 18-Dec-13 23:51:30

I have lived here, it was where I grew up. The road is fine - busy, traffic, but ok. It's just that this row of 10 or so houses has a slightly (to me) rough feel to it. All the same 70s builds, with small gardens and a service road running behind them that connects to a block of garages.

I'm really trying to see the good in it and not be a snob who demands to have Victorian features and fireplaces (like I have now) for free.

AnuvvaMuvva Wed 18-Dec-13 23:52:47

Manchester - thank you!! That calmed me down! I do have Christmas to think. I've been frustrated at the delay it'll put on everything (selling, especially) but it's really a blessing.

Thank you!

AnuvvaMuvva Wed 18-Dec-13 23:53:31

Antimatter - I'm moving to Wokingham, near Reading. And yes I'm sure prices are going up.

AnuvvaMuvva Wed 18-Dec-13 23:54:20

Somewherebeyondthesea - you can sound harsh if you want! I'll happily take direction! :D

mellicauli Thu 19-Dec-13 00:05:09

I would be wary about buying a house no one else wanted to buy. If you have a desirable house that people want to buy, if things take a downward turn you'll always be OK.

pippop1 Thu 19-Dec-13 00:09:35

I think you can ask estate agents about this house in a (slighly) sneaky way. Try not to give your name on the phone and call early in the day when they are not busy - just before Xmas is probably a good time!

Tell them about your budget and that you are a cash buyer and then ask "Can I realistically get a house with X bedrooms in the Wokingham area for £X?"

Then say that you saw one online that looked interesting (the one that you think you may buy) but it was sold STC through another agent and would be interested in that kind of house, have they sold one like that recently, what do they think of that bit of Wokingham etc and just let them talk, and talk. Say how much you value their opinion.

Listen very carefully and in between the charm, you may pick up some good nuggets of information about the area, that type of 1970s house and so on.

Yes, you are "using" them a bit but so what, you might end up buying through them in the future.

kickassangel Thu 19-Dec-13 00:39:37

What other people think of it isn't really relevant unless you plan to sell it soon. If house prices are going up it is better to but sooner, but you can take a couple more weeks to think about it.

Go there over Christmas. Would the road bother you if you think about dc walking along it? Any other concerns? Are you sure it is in catchment for schools? Etc

If you like the house and think you will be happy there that is the aim decision.

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Thu 19-Dec-13 00:47:31

Wokingham has loads of Estate Agents - I'd give them all a call and ask about the property - they're bound to know it and why it's not selling.

antimatter Thu 19-Dec-13 06:36:31

yes they do!
a colleague at work had their 2 bed valued summer time for 250K
they sold it to the second person who viewed it for 335K this week! 5K over Estate Agent valuation.
That's in Maidenhead.

Is the feeling of roughness because they are modern housed. How would you feel if that house was a victorian cottage?

Jaynebxl Thu 19-Dec-13 06:44:19

One thing I have learnt through moving this year and watching every property programme going is that unless we have pots of money we can't have every thing we want in a house and have to choose what we're going to compromise on. Personally I would compromise on distance to grandparents in order to have a house in an area I felt happy with and without a barking dog next door. At the end of the day you spend more time in your house aware of neighbourly noises than walking to the grandparents.

Alwayscheerful Thu 19-Dec-13 06:49:58

Let the price decide. Tell the agent you have had second thoughts and the surveyor advises the house needs new double glazing and you are therefore reducing your offer to £210k. The vendor may well accept your revised offer, if not walk away and find a home you will love.

IHeardMummyDissingParcelforce Thu 19-Dec-13 07:11:28

Forgive me if someone's already suggested this but I am wondering if there is an undeclared dispute with the neighbours - as it were, not sure if I'm using the correct term.

I mean the next door property looks rough, the garden is in a state, the dog is barking loudly all day.

This strongly suggests to me that it won't be easy to live next door to these people, or communicate with them.

The LAST thing you need when you've bought a house is some arsehole next door making your life uncomfortable at best, hellish at worst.

I would put money (not that I have any) on it being the reason people have pulled out.

If I was brave I'd go and knock on the door and try and talk to them. If I wasn't brave, I'd pull out after ringing round a few agents it's been on with - or even the letting agent, to try and find out the issues.

Also google the street name and 'police'. News stories may emerge.

We did this on a house we were going to view and cancelled the viewing as they had a dog which had attacked a small child; I was taking my small children with me, so I asked the EA if this was Ok without mentioning the newspaper article, and she was like 'Of course!' but I didn't want to risk it, so we didn't go.

I also saw a picture of the owners in the article and that put me off a bit too.

Anyway don't feel bad about wasted money. You'll waste far more if you can't sell it again. Remember it costs around £10,000 in fees etc when you move so you need to get it right. That means backtracking where necessary.

The money so far is small potatoes.

AnuvvaMuvva Thu 19-Dec-13 09:56:31

Another request for money: the valuation survey fee.

I want to get a DEFINITE mortgage offer in place whatever happens with this house, so I know EXACTLY what I'm able to borrow. (I'm a freelancer so never dreamt I'd get a mortgage at all.)

If I don't buy this house, I can keep the mortgage offer for 6 months.

To get this, I'll have to pay the valuation fee (upfront, now). No idea how much it is.

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