Turfing me and DH out of our spacious bedroom to make a 'dorm' for our 3DCs - madness or clever idea?

[flubba]

My DH and I have a very large bedroom and our 3 DCs (5, 4 and 2) share the two smaller rooms (each half the size of our room). The girls (5 & 4) share and DS (2) has his own room.

I had a bright spark of an idea last week and can't decide if it was clever or sheer madness - and that would be to move all three into our big room, which would be enough room for them to have beds and play room (currently they don't play much in their rooms on the whole), and DH and I would move our (large) bed into one of their rooms, and have the other room as a clothes/sewing/reading room/study.

The advantages would be the kids might play more upstairs instead of in my face downstairs all the time , they get to share together, which at this age should be good fun, the whole family would gain a 'quiet' room where I can do my sewing, DH can do his marking, and eventually the kids can do their homework.

The disadvantages would be that our bed is only marginally smaller than the room we'd move into (like half a meter at the end and on one side of the bed), we'd both have to cut down on our crap and clothes beloved belongings to squeeze in. The actual moving of furniture might lead to divorce too :o

So, thoughts please!

[wendybird77]

I would do it, but we don't really spend any time in our room, so wouldn't miss the space. I think having an extra room would be well worth it. A friend of mine moved the whole family into one large room and use the other two as flexible spaces, which works really well for them (though wouldn't for us). If you think it will work I'd go for it!

[noddyholder]

Yes its a great idea I have redesigned a couple of houses in this way and it really works

[titchy]

Sounds ok but don't think if it as a homework space - by the time they're old enough for homework that doesn't need a hovering parent the girls will be almost teens and won't want to share with a little brother! Fine when they're little though!

[stclemens]

is it sustainable in the longer run? We moved DS and DD apart as they couldn't seem to be able to sleep together at all - too much fighting/distraction (and as DS got older he stayed up later as well). Eventually your children may want their own space (even a small one). I spent my childhood years in a room with my two sisters (until my older sister left home) but I don't think people would put up with that today tbh.

[flubba]

Thanks all for your input - wendy I think us all sharing might be a few million steps step too far for me :o

titchy I'm kind of using the words 'homework space' as justification for gaining a sewing and quiet room for me and DH :o

I see this as a four/five year move - we can't afford to move house atm, and the girls share anyway currently, so it won't be a big leap for them (and fwiw they share very well - don't wake each other up etc etc). Ideally we'd live in a house where we all have a room to ourselves (me included ) but that's not realistic for us atm, so thought this might be a good compromise - a much bigger room for them all to share and to play in.

[flubba]

Currently they all go to bed around the same time NatashaBee - and hoping that'll stay the same ish for the next couple of years - but hadn't considered the 'going-to-bed' time in a few years' time. I guess that's when we bundle the older ones into the lovely new quiet room, (or 'library' :o :o) for stories etc until it's time for them to go to bed?

[MinimalistMommi]

My four year old and seven year have just started sharing and love it!
I think it's a great idea for now, but not sustainable when your boy gets older?

[MrsJamin]

If you didn't have to spend much to do this, I'd say yes but I can't see it lasting for long if you have 1 DS and 2 DDs? DS1 & 2 have the slightly larger room in our 2 bed for this reason but I can't see you giving up a 3rd bedroom for that long.

[Taffeta]

We have a playroom and the DC never use it. They just love being in my face all the time. they are 9 and 6.

I would worry about bedtime tbh and also any time you want on your own with one? Assume they all have the same bedtime? Mine certainly don't now, an hour after each other.

[MmeLindor]

Agree with others - great idea as a stop gap, but likely not sustainable in the long run

[MinimalistMommi]

I stagger bedtimes, my four year old at 6.30pm and my seven year old at 7pm. It works really well. I pre-warned them before they shared that that was how it would be.

[mum47]

Different situation, but my two boys shared a reasonable sized room upstairs and we had a big bedroom. When they got older we decided to give them a room each upstairs and we moved down to what had been the computer/spare room.
It has worked really well but my only complaint is that our now bedroom is quite small and has a cupboard in it which we have to use as a wardrobe as there isn't room for a wardrobe. It drives me bonkers as it is not nearly big enough.
Agree what you are planning sounds great - they will eventually get to the age when they don't want to share but that is a few years away yet.

[flubba]

Yep, I thought of it more as a stop gap until we can afford our dream house for a few years - or maybe only 6 months if we hate it!

It won't cost us any money to do this - it's simply a question of moving furniture around.

Taffeta I'm quite realistic that they still may not play in their room and will continue to be in my face all the time, but as they don't play in their own rooms as it is and the larger room will give them more options to play properly, it's more likely they will in the big room than they do currently. If that makes sense??

[Doyouthinktheysaurus]

I wouldn't do it because my 2 dses shared for 5 years and our life has been transformed since we separated them, losing our spare room in the process.

They did get on ok at first but as they got older it got worse. They are now 8 and 10 and have had seperate rooms a year.

They used to mess, play fight, generally make noiseand keep each other awake at night, we had no peace at all! Now they go to their seperate beds, happily read for 30 mins and lights out, it is utter peaceful bliss.

[flubba]

If we could have a room for them each, that would be perfect. As they can't, I thought this might work.

I imagine the bickering gets worse as they get older? currently not a problem but I can see it becoming a problem in the future - and maybe that's when I build a shed in the bottom of the garden (as if it's big enough!) and chuck one of them in there, and revert the others back to their own rooms :o

I shared with my sisters 'til I was about 12, and then I was given the tiniest room in the house - I didn't care about the size, as it was MY room so I do understand the need/desire for kids to have their own spaces, but I'm hoping I've got at least three or four years until those whines start?

[foxy6]

I think its a great idea My 3 ds's shared a room when they were little the main problem was bed time so that was staggered and My Dd had her own room and has always been a bit lonely often going in to share with her brothers. I think when they are young children like the company, makes them feel safer .

[MinimalistMommi]

I shared with my sister until I was a teenager, then we got given separate rooms and we missed each other/missed the company.

[flubba]

Aww minimalist :)

foxy that's what happens now - they all play in one room anyway when they do play in their rooms and at least this way I'd get my sewing room :o :o

[womblingalong]

I would do it, as you can always change things again if necessary in the future. I often use our bedroom for one tone time with one of my DC's if necessary, so no reason why you couldn't do stories in your room/sewing room with the older ones.

[Graceparkhill]

I think it is a good idea for the next few years. By the time they are teenagers (in my experience of course) they never come downstairs/ out of their rooms.
DS1's girlfriend didn't know her folks had put up Christmas tree because she never ventured into the living room.

[Mandy21]

Is your 2yr old a good sleeper? We have a 3 bed house but have 3 children, so DC1&2 share (always have done and its never been a problem) but DC3 is 3 and she has her own room. It wouldn't work for us to put all 3 in the same room because she is a bit of a monkey and although she does have a slightly earlier bedtime than the other two (who are both 7) she's still awake when the older 2 are going to bed. They would all disturb each other - mainly due to DC3. My children desperately need their sleep so any upset to that and they're horrible the next day / can't cope with school / homework etc.

[therontheron]

good idea - except if one of them needs a night light has night terrors and the others don't. or the girls like to talk whilst your son is trying to go to sleep.
Or when one of them wets the bed / throws up in the middle of the night and you need to strip the bed quickly.

I don't think it will work though in getting them to play in their rooms either - or at least it didn't for mine. They had a whole playroom to themselves, but they preferred to take what they were playing with downstairs (and leave it there until I carted it back up).

[flubba]

Thanks for responses today - glad most think it's a good idea as we are now on day two of the 'dorm' experiment! :o

Apart from the fact that my bed is covered in all my clothes that I now have to re-house (or chuck?!) and I have to practically breathe in to get past the end of it, it's looking great! The kids' room is brilliant - and so many more possibilities for them. They are super excited about it too which is lovely. The 2 year old went to sleep no problem, even with the girls still being awake and lights on etc. And when the middle one woke up, turned her light on and played this morning, the other two snored on for another half hour or so. All good so far...

The 'sewing room' (as I like to think of it as :o) is a bit of a dump room at the moment, but we're still mid-move and trying to work out where to put things. Another few hours of hard slog needed, but the kids are very content. :)

[Arithmeticulous]

Look upon it as an opportunity to declutter

And my DC nominally have their own rooms but tend to congregate in one anyway.