And to the people who owned our current house BEFORE us...

[notasize10yetbutoneday]

...Thank you so much for leaving over 20 hideous wall shelves on the walls of each bedroom which took ages to take down and a tube of polyfilla to rectify. My fingernails will never be the same again.

[notasize10yetbutoneday]

Grr typo in title.

[TennisFan]

and for changing all the internal doors?

and leaving a roofspace full of your crap

and for painting around the double bed

and for using the sleeping baby trick during viewing

[NoseyNooNoo]

Thank you for:

1. Removing the fitted wardrobes and then claiming that they were free-standing - why were there about 50 holes in the wall then?
2. Taking all of the curtain poles and leaving gaping holes in the wall.
3. Taking the cans of paint that you promised to leave.
4. Spilling Coke on the bedroom carpet literally as you left (still wet) and making no attempt to mop it up.
5. Hiding in the wardrobe (you know that 'freestanding one') when we were doing a viewing.
6. Hiding in the bushes during the same viewing.
7. Telling the EA and us that you had a terminal brain tumour - funny that the people you work with didn't notice and report that you are alive and well.
8. Not paying your bills so that various debt collectors came to our door to demand money from us.

I'm still sore about it!

[DuelingFanjo]

Thanks for not telling us about the woman next door who plays her music at 4am and wails!

[DuelingFanjo]

OMG - did they really hide in the wardrobe! WTF. DId they jump out on you?

[NoseyNooNoo]

No - but it was tempting to open the door. What would we have said other than 'Freak!'

[TheMoonOnAStick]

But why hide in the wardrobe and the bushes?? How v odd.

[notasize10yetbutoneday]

NNN that is insane! How bizarre?! Was the brain tumour their reason for moving then? makes a change from 'its just time to move on' I suppose!

[NoseyNooNoo]

I have no idea. His children were home at the time too.

This was a viewing just before exchange and I suspect he could not face the sight of us. Our survey found a major problem which would cost £11k to fix. We reduced our offer by £5k. I think he always felt that we'd robbed him.

[throckenholt]

the man before us was a window fitter - everything in the house was held on with copious amounts of silicon sealant - he must have used up large numbers of "nearly empty" tubes.

[NoseyNooNoo]

The brain tumour was mentioned by the EA to explain vendor's difficult nature and then Vendor mentioned it when DH went around with builder to assess the cost of the work needing to be done.

[palacemonkey]

why, WHY, was the water in the loo black?? Thank god my Aunt had industrial strength loo cleaner - otherwise I would have had to replace it.... I'm fine with that.... I just want to know WHY?????????????

[umf]

... for blutacking the kitchen cupboard doors closed. Nope, they don't close without the blutack.

[BaggedandTagged]

for painting around the TV- I mean.....FFS

For only carpeting up to the edge of the (freestanding)Billy Bookcase which you took with you.

For feeding the foxes so that I inadvertently inherited a fox farm

[notasize10yetbutoneday]

Palacemonkey, eww! Even after you flushed it, the water came back black?! Gross.

[scurryfunge]

....for putting a toddler in the bath on both viewings because you had left black grime marks in the bath you obviously never cleaned.

[cockles]

for telling us the house was in the catchment area of the school we wanted
for upping your price by £30K at the last minute
for leaving us a broken boiler, a huge patch of missing wall plaster behind a picture, and two paintbrushes rammed down the sink (why?)
but, seriously, almost all this was compensated for accidentally leaving the au-pair's 'to-do' list which I am still laughing at ('plump the cushions'!)

[palacemonkey]

Yes.... I can't figure out how it stayed black either... surely it's fresh water going into the cistern???

Once my aunt got at it with her cleaning stuff and a loo brush, it was lovely.... but it wasn't just the loo that was black it was the water too...

It took about 5 days for it to come through as clear water... how is that possible???

[notasize10yetbutoneday]

That is so strange. Why don't people get these things sorted before they start taking viewings?!

[HousewifeOfOrangeCounty]

for not telling us that the man next door practises playing the bagpipes outside every time the sun is out.

[BettyTurnip]

For not telling us the dish washer was broken beyond repair. DH and I were childishly excited about having one at last and it didn't bloody work! Oh, and that the built in oven only had one setting - burn-everything-to-a-crisp degrees centigrade.

[EnglandAllenPoe]

for....

tiling the bathroom over the old tiles (we removed the lot, along with the plaster)

breaking the soil stack, but covering the join with concrete as a short-term solution

boxing in various bits of wiring that should not have been in the bathroom at all

leaving wires (some live) hanging out of the bedroom wall where you had removed a bedside lamp. What the hell was wrong with wiring in a socket for it like a normal person?

wiring all the household lighting from the same junction box. they don't cost much FFS.

..and when you had someone install the shower complete with separate fuse box, why didn't you have all the household wiring put on the new box instead of leaving it on one that still has wire instead of switch fuses????

and as for the plumbing....was this a conscious attempt to use the wrong pipe widths for as many purposes as possible?

would it have hurt to have done a proper job even once?

if Dh was not so very good at DIY, i'd have just spent the last 3 years listening to the intake of air through workmans teeth as they upped their estimate.....

[Mermaidspam]

For:

1. Not telling us that the "conservatory" (in the loosest possible terms) was constructed by yourself from drainpipes. I shit you not.

1. For not putting any drawers in your fitted kitchen

1. For giving us the instruction booklet for a combi boiler. It would have been nice to inform us that you were taking it with you.

1. For attaching the peeling wallpaper in the main bedroom to the wall with red gloss paint.

[DomesticGoddessInTraining]

for...

Not reinstalling the downstairs toilet properly when you moved it to put flooring down so it ended up damaged and leaky and cost us a fortune to put right

Damaging the bathroom radiator so that we can't actually bleed it and now can't use it because it makes a complete racket

For not sealing the bathroom floor properly which resulted in us forking out to re-plaster both the living room and kitchen ceilings

For having the heating on all day and night so we didn't notice that the living room was bloody freezing

For not actually reporting loads of defects to the newly built house you bought to the builders (like the faulty windows, door frames that weren't sealed properly, various plumbing issues) within the two years you had to do so! (Guess who bought the house when it was two years old?).