Expecting Parents to Provide Transport to Sports Events within School Day

(101 Posts)
KnappShappeyShipwright Fri 21-Mar-14 16:13:22

DS1 is at junior school and has been selected to represent the school at tag rugby next week during the school day. I've just received a letter asking me to provide transport due to "health & safety regulations". I work full-time, my DH works full-time, we have no other family within a 100 mile radius and I'm not prepared to send him off with a random parent, particularly as I can never return the favour. The event is during the school day and finishes at "around" 5pm. I'm resisting emailing the school right now but I'm furious - I don't think it's up to parents to do this, is it? Any ideas on how I approach this as I've got all weekend to stew over it.

AuntieStella Fri 21-Mar-14 16:15:33

Well, my first enquiry would be to ask which health and safety regulation they mean and exactly what it stipulates.

OddBoots Fri 21-Mar-14 16:17:26

I'm guessing you would be allowed to withdraw him. If the school can't take him, you can't take him and you don't want another parent taking him then I don't think there's any other option.

For what it's worth that is quite common, I've had to take my children (and given lifts to others) to sporting, music and 'enrichment' activities during the school day as the school just can't afford the transport.

meditrina Fri 21-Mar-14 16:22:54

If the school has budget constraints, they ought to say so, not cite H&S.

Do they give any clue about what would happen if you cannot take him? Do you know which parents might be going, and are any among them ones whose cars/driving you trust? I wouldn't worry about never being able to return the exact favour on this one (especially if there is a friend's parent who you know going) as they will understand your constraints and you can extend a different form of goodwill to reciprocate.

jo164 Fri 21-Mar-14 16:30:04

Often without the goodwill of parents a lot of these events would not take place. Budgets for buses are pretty small in most schools and probably not top priority, however I can see that it is difficult if you work and are not able to transport your own child. We use parent support in this way on a regular basis. The drivers have to provide their licence details as well as prove that their car in taxed and insured appropriately. The school has an insurance policy to cover anyone's accident if using their car for a school journey if it were to occur. Parents sign a form to say that they are happy for their child to be transported by a member of staff or another parent based on the above information each time it occurs. If they don't want to agree to this, then unfortunately for the child we can't take them, and another child would be selected In their place. There is never any pressure on parents to take their turn at driving as we understand many people cannot reciprocate. If the number of children was large we would be able to book a coach, but weekly sports matches would simply not take place if everyone objected to this arrangement.

BackforGood Fri 21-Mar-14 16:30:18

If the tournament/match is during the day, then what else do you suggest?
IME, parents help each other out.
My dd2 played a lot of sport, and I frequently took children whose families were unable to - it's no biggie, I was going myself anyway, and had space in the car.
If you won't let him go with another parent, then it's you that's stopping him go, not the school.

TeenAndTween Fri 21-Mar-14 16:43:16

I don't work and would have no problem transporting an additional child or two if I were driving my own to a sports match (not that that will ever happen!). I wouldn't need it to be reciprocated.

On the flip side, I would be happy for my child to be driven by a named parent that I know, (but there are a few parents I would not be happy with as I'm not sure I would trust their driving)

Leeds2 Fri 21-Mar-14 16:46:15

It may be one of the teachers could take children whose parents aren't able to?

Heifer Fri 21-Mar-14 16:50:57

They probably don't have any other choice. It's good that the school are participating, as so many just don't bother. Do you know any of the other children parents (assume there is a team sheet). If not then you have to either tell the school he can't play or see if he can go with someone else.

cece Fri 21-Mar-14 16:52:20

Teachers are often not insured to transport pupils in their own car.

This is quite common practice. I am not sure why you do not know any of the other parents at the school? It is usually up to us parents to ask for lifts. The school tend not to get involved, although they will tell us who else is competing. (so we know who to ask...)

DS1 was in a similar tournament last week and one of the other parents took him. It was no biggie and the other parent didn't mind n the slightest. No need to reciprocate at all.

KnappShappeyShipwright Fri 21-Mar-14 17:03:46

Thanks for all the responses. I didn't realise it was common practice, he's my PFB which might be why I sound a bit over-protective. I don't know many parents here other than DS's best friends who aren't on the team list, we are fairly new to the area after moving with DH's job - it might be an opportunity for me to make some friends & turn it into something positive. I feel awkward about never being able to reciprocate but I guess there are other opportunities after school & at weekends. I don't want to be labelled as one of "those" parents who expects lifts for nothing in return!

haggisaggis Fri 21-Mar-14 17:08:20

My dc are at a small rural school and dc are either transported by parents or staff to events outwith the school. Hiring buses is too expensive for most things. I think parents who agree need to have the Scottish equivalent of a CRB check and fill a form out about their car insurance details. Staff have to have the appropriate car insurance. You can say if you don't want your child to be taken by a parent in which case the school will ensure he/she is transported by a staff member instead. As said by others, it is the only way for dc to attend things outside the school.

JodieGarberJacob Fri 21-Mar-14 17:10:33

Not sure why you're furious. Primary schools that have minibuses for this sort of thing are far and few between. Our schools either take the children on the train or rely on shared lifts by parents. What else is there? If you expect them to hire a coach each time for a handful of children then sadly they will decide it's not viable to participate in district events in the future.

Technical Fri 21-Mar-14 17:14:06

I don't know what they're on about re H&S but it's not unusual at all here. We do it to save the cost of booking a coach (which parents would be asked to pay for)

Where children's own parents can't either transport them themselves or arrange lifts, staff will take them. On the very rare occasion the school has to ask another parent, driving licences and insurance details are checked. Teachers are insured under their standard policies (where it's an occasional rather than regular occurrence) and the school keeps copies on file to check all in order.

90sthrowback Fri 21-Mar-14 17:23:29

Very normal for this to happen IME.

I know its not foolproof but at our school all helpers have to be DBS checked if they are to be alone with children.

mrz Fri 21-Mar-14 17:38:19

The H&S issue would be providing car seats etc

PatriciaHolm Fri 21-Mar-14 17:41:54

It's normal. Vast majority of schools won't have anything like a school minibus etc to do this with. It's entirely expected that people will car share; our school now tells parents who else is on the team to help them figure out who can take little johnny and his friends and who can pick up!

Don't worry about being labelled, people will understand, if you explain.

bigTillyMint Fri 21-Mar-14 17:44:55

I guess if you don't live in an area with frequent public transport links to and from the venue, then this makes sense.

How old is your DS?

MsMischief Fri 21-Mar-14 17:49:53

We get this a lot due to freakishly sporty child. It is a pita, especially as we live in a rural area so often the schools hosting the events are miles away. I have given other dcs lifts to things plenty of times when I've been able to and wouldn't expect a reciprocal lift. It's daft having a dozen parents driving up and down when 2 or 3 could manage it.

RufusTheReindeer Fri 21-Mar-14 18:00:45

Very normal and it wouldn't occur to me if I gave your child a lift that you owed me one

I have a seven seater and I'm convinced that's part of the reason my children did so much sports stuff (that and the fact that they volunteered for everything going!)

spanieleyes Fri 21-Mar-14 18:13:27

oh, we always pick our sports teams on the basis of the size of their Mum's car! grin

mostlysinging Fri 21-Mar-14 18:20:58

This is normal at my son's school - tends to be the same set of parents who are available to do lifts and we all load our cars up with as many as we can. I tend to request the children I know (along with their parents) as feel more comfy with this.

I've never expected that I was owed a favour when taking another child - just happy to help because I can.

BranchingOut Fri 21-Mar-14 18:28:01

I was once asked to take pupils somewhere at lunchtime when I was teaching, but did not agree as I just did not feel comfortable driving with other people's children on board. I also flagged up to the head that insurance was an issue...

BambooBear13 Fri 21-Mar-14 19:03:46

I would love to hear what the H&S issue was

mrz Fri 21-Mar-14 19:11:05

I would think it is the availability of car seats for those children needing them BB

Delphiniumsblue Fri 21-Mar-14 19:13:30

It is the normal way. I thought all schools did it or how else would they get there? It doesn't mean that you owe a lift.

interestedteacher Fri 21-Mar-14 19:39:58

As a teacher, the H&S advice that has been forced upon us is that we can never be in a car alone with children. This means that it would take two members of staff to transport a maximum of 3 children. The logic being that we cannot monitor the behaviour of children when driving and could be distracted.

On top of that there is the need to have business insurance, at a personal cost to the teacher, and the need for booster seats for children below the required height.

We've been told that unless we have a minibus, it is much safer to let the parents sort out transport between themselves. I would never ask a parent to take another child, it is up to them to organise things.

I have taken children to sporting events for years and despair at the number of schools that don't bother anymore. These guidelines make it harder but luckily my head is quite good at organising transport and we have parents who are supportive and are happy to co-operate with each other and appreciate the school arranging events.

BambooBear13 Fri 21-Mar-14 20:15:08

Ok that makes more sense thx

pancakesfortea Fri 21-Mar-14 20:23:57

Never heard of it myself. But then we are in London so they just get the bus. Don't know what we would do if they ever did expect parents to drive during the school day. Hardly any of us have cars.

pancakesfortea Fri 21-Mar-14 20:27:10

So we do get requests for parents to help out on trips, but it's help to get 30 kids on the tube, not to drive a car load. Not sure which is worse....

spanieleyes Fri 21-Mar-14 20:27:22

Well, we have a bus on Tuesday to the nearest town, it leaves the bus stop ( half a mile away from the school) at 10.00, arrives in town at 10.30 and leaves again at 12,00 ,That's it until the following Tuesday!
We need parents!

mrz Fri 21-Mar-14 20:29:48

In my village there is one bus every hour and it takes 50 minutes to travel the 6 miles to town because the bus route takes in every village pancakesfortea

Martorana Fri 21-Mar-14 20:41:33

What are you furious about?

fuckwittery Fri 21-Mar-14 20:43:25

I wouldn't hesitate to give a lift to a child who had a working parent, it would be literally no trouble at all to put one extra child in the car. I've been that working parent who has to ask others for lifts or not send my child, and count myself to be at home now and be able to take my child places, I would freely share that good fortune to take someone's else's child and not expect anything on return. Of there's a party or something at the week end and you can return the favour, great, otherwise I wouldn't think anything of it. Have you got a class email list so you can ask for a lift, just explain you work etc

Taffeta Fri 21-Mar-14 20:47:54

This happens often at DSs school. I am able to help with a lift next week as it falls during the school day on my day off, very often I can't help as it is after school and clashes with DDs activities.

It's well accepted some parents can help with lifts and others can't. It's no big deal. I am happy for DS to travel with any other parent, tbh.

rollonthesummer Fri 21-Mar-14 20:52:20

My school has a minibus and members of staff willing to drive it. At my DC's school, they do as the school does in the OP; ask willing parents to contribute. What the school does depends on lots of factors.

clam Fri 21-Mar-14 21:02:44

What, or whom, are you furious with?
The school, for selecting your child to participate in a fun extra-curricular activity?
Or the current climate, whereby schools have had every blessed thing they try to provide, strangled by the red tape of H&S?
If you can't/won't take him yourself, and won't allow another parent to do so either, then withdraw him from the activity.

Martorana Fri 21-Mar-14 21:09:48

And I wasn't going to say it, but I will- as someone who has happily transported many children to many matches in my car (like someone else on here, I do suspect that my children's selection for things was largely based on my 7 seater!) I find being dismissed as "a random parent" a bit.......annoying.

missinglalaland Fri 21-Mar-14 21:16:54

Our school does this all the time for cost saving reasons. I think it is pretty standard.

I am a sahm, and I am always happy to take other children, when I am driving for these things. I realise that working parents probably can never return the favour, but I don't mind, I am driving anyway and I wouldn't want any of the dc to miss out, especially when there is room in my car. Don't feel embarrassed about accepting a favour.

BackforGood Fri 21-Mar-14 21:48:23

Like Rufus, it did go through my mind that there could be a link between my dd keeping her place on the cricket team, and the fact I had a 7 seater and can work pretty flexible hours so was usually around to help with transport grin

AChickenCalledKorma Fri 21-Mar-14 22:03:33

We get requests for parents to help with transport, but it's never expected that all parents will do so. I wouldn't feel remotely bad about saying "no I can't because I'm at work" - nor would I feel that I had to reciprocate. There are several SAHMs with large MPVs who are happy to take a gang of children to events.

We have also on occasion been asked for consent for staff to drive small groups of children.

The school has a set of booster seats for those who need them.

UniS Sat 22-Mar-14 14:58:22

I've just arranged a trip for a team of nine kids for a sports comp in school time. had more offers of transport than we need. which is a nice place to be in as I could say thank you but not this time to one of the regular 7 seated owners.
There are teams out at away fixtures every day next week in 4 different sports.

Lucyccfc Sat 22-Mar-14 17:15:54

Not normal at my DS's school. Parents are not asked to do this, the school see it as their responsibility, as it is part of a normal school day and enriches the curriculum.

The teachers who drive, have 'business use' on their insurance, so can take the kids or the teacher goes with them in a taxi.

My DS plays football for the school and chess and I have never been asked to drive him any where. I would find it very odd if school did ask.

BackforGood Sat 22-Mar-14 17:21:55

Why would you find it odd, Lucyccfc ?
It's not really 'part of the normal school day' if a team are going off to play in a tournament. I agree it's a great opportunity for them, but how do you expect the one staff member that goes with them to fit them all in their car (even if they have one, and have business insurance) ? That would only work if you were only taking 3 children somewhere, which seems a lot less likely than taking 10 - 14 for a team competition.

SpockSmashesScissors Sat 22-Mar-14 18:16:45

Not normal here, school has a minibus, caretaker drives it and class teacher/team coach accompanies the children.

DS was in a tag rugby tournament last year they went on the minibus.

We have never been asked to provide transport for any sort of trips, sports, maths tournaments etc.

Martorana Sat 22-Mar-14 18:25:48

Fantastic if the school can afford a mini bus- what happens if they can't?

Delphiniumsblue Sat 22-Mar-14 18:31:38

Very few primary schools have minibuses.

SpockSmashesScissors Sat 22-Mar-14 18:35:25

PTA funded our school minibus.

But suppose this is the difference perhaps between small primary schools and larger 2/3 class entry, city ones.

Martorana Sat 22-Mar-14 18:37:50

Anyway, many schools do not have mini buses- or PTAs which could afford to fund one. Or somebody able and prepared to drive one. What do the anti parents being a taxi service brigade suggest such schools should do?

RufusTheReindeer Sat 22-Mar-14 20:18:05

Two primary schools in our village, one 2 entry and one 3. Neither has a minibus

Senior school does though

Khara Sat 22-Mar-14 20:56:24

I'm a TA and regularly take children to sporting events etc. in my car. I have the relevant insurance which cost very little extra. My school have no problem with me being alone with them in the car - I don't think it has ever occurred to them.

BackforGood Sun 23-Mar-14 00:44:40

Very unusual for Primary schools to have mini-buses though Spock

(and my dc went to a 3 form entry one, in a City, that has a phenomenal amount of sports teams)

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 23-Mar-14 00:48:54

How odd

It wouldn't occur to be (& would be impossible) that is ever have to take ds to an event during the school day. Afterwards yes maybe, but during, no.

Dh is a teacher so also wouldn't be able to help.

Martorana Sun 23-Mar-14 07:05:44

Yes, as we have all been saying- many people aren't in a position to take kids to matches during the school day- which is why those of us that are, do!

How do you suggest they get there otherwise?

khara- you really need to check that out- you may find you're breaking your safeguarding policy.

Delphiniumsblue Sun 23-Mar-14 07:42:06

I always find it strange that things go on happily for decades and then a new parent comes along and questions it when the alternative is not to play competitive games.
I would love to know how OP is going to solve it. Most state primary schools do not have minibuses (I don't know any) and they can't afford to hire one (imagine the fuss if parents were billed!) The easy answer is for some parents to fill up their cars. They are not a 'random' parent, they are a parent of a fellow pupil. Just be grateful, you do not have to reciprocate.

Martorana Sun 23-Mar-14 07:46:39

Yes, the "random parent" stung me too......

Delphiniumsblue Sun 23-Mar-14 07:53:14

People live in these little plastic bubbles where they are not part of the community. It isn't as bad as the person on here who described their child's class teacher as 'a random adult'!!
They are not sending your child with a 'random' parent, OP. They are sending them with one that they have known for probably at least 5 years, is known to be responsible and reliable and will have a CRB check.

mummytime Sun 23-Mar-14 07:53:41

Our Primary as far as possible walk children to events. If it is too far, then they ask parents to provide lifts/allow their children to be transported with other parents (and maybe bring carseats/boosters into school). Sometimes they do use a minibus but often need cars in addition. If the event was finishing at 5 pm, they might need parents to collect as the minibus they use does home/school transport.

I don;t understand the OP being furious. If the school has to hire coaches etc. then there is a voluntary charge to pay for it. I also think you need to get to know people as a priority, you never know when it will be useful.

Delphiniumsblue Sun 23-Mar-14 08:02:10

I live in a village so no events could be walked to. The first thing parents need to do as their child starts school is to get out of their bubble, be part of the community, get to know the other parents and get a support network. ( and if they don't have the support network be very grateful to the school for sorting it rather than critical!).
I would absolutely bet that OP isn't going to give up her time fundraising to buy a minibus, or even have a minibus hire fund! She is one of the moaners who doesn't do anything.

WanderingAway Sun 23-Mar-14 08:11:46

My dd has been chosen to take part in a school activity. There was no mention of me having to provide transport and i cant ever recall parents being asked to drive pupils to and from events. It is not a done thing at our school.

Delphiniumsblue Sun 23-Mar-14 08:17:09

Maybe you live in a city or have a private school WanderingAway. How do they get there?

Martorana Sun 23-Mar-14 08:28:47

WanderingAway- how do they get to out of school events?

wonkylegs Sun 23-Mar-14 08:44:38

DS has been to 2 primary schools due to a house move and neither have ever asked for parent transport.
1st school either used the metro or hired a coach (city, small first school with 1 class entry) , current school has 2 minibuses (town, huge primary with 3.5 class entry). The primary school in our village also always hires a coach.
I think the attitude here is slightly different partially because you can't assume that parents have access to a car (region with low car ownership stats)

Delphiniumsblue Sun 23-Mar-14 08:52:04

However OP's child's school is probably like the majority and can't afford minibuses or coach hire, they do it for nothing and use parents. As a parent I would prefer them not to 'waste' money when they could do it for free and use the money on things that are really needed.

Delphiniumsblue Sun 23-Mar-14 08:52:50

I would be asking huge questions if they were spending money so unnecessarily.

Jinty64 Sun 23-Mar-14 09:46:24

I often have to transport my children to music events in school time. I work and have to take time off work to do this ie annual leave. The instrumental tutor has, on two occasions, taken ds1 and another child in her car but I doubt she was covered to do this. I have taken same other child, whose mother doesn't drive, in my car but mostly just take my own child/children. If no one could take them then they couldn't go. Ds 1&2 are now old enough to get a taxi if I really can't get off.

clam Sun 23-Mar-14 10:55:46

"Random adult?" And you haven't made many friends where you are, you say?

dizzyday07 Sun 23-Mar-14 13:01:07

I was asked last year when DD was Yr3 to drive her and 2 others to the next town (7 miles) to an event they were selected to represent the school for. Booster seats were provided but I'm not sure by school or parents of the children involved. I was never asked about insurance or to show my documents/licence etc. As a SAHM I am available during the day to do this and it was the school that organised who was going with who.

WanderingAway Sun 23-Mar-14 15:03:16

I live in a small town and the children either walk or the school hires a bus. It has always been like since i went to school.

mrz Sun 23-Mar-14 15:19:52

perhaps if you lived in a small village and the sports fixture was taking place in another small village 10+ miles away which would require 3 or 4 changes of bus if using pulic transport you would have a different experience

intheenddotcom Sun 23-Mar-14 15:20:58

Teachers need to have business insurance and car seats to transport the children.

Teachers are encouraged by the union to think that it is risky driving the kids around, and many have to pay for insurance out of their own pocket. A lot of schools insist on two members of staff as well for transport.

All in all, it's easier to ask parents.

UniS Sun 23-Mar-14 19:08:39

I keep a spare booster seat for times when I need to transport an extra child. DSs school own half a dozen boosters, many kids bring theirs in on a day when they are going on a trip in family cars. between it all every kid who needs a booster gets one, even those who travel into school on the school bus.

We are rural and sports fixtures at even the closest two school involve a 5 mile each way trip. The nearest bus stop to school is .75 of a mile and has a two hourly service to nearest town.

EdithWeston Sun 23-Mar-14 19:24:15

"It is risky driving the kids around, and many have to pay for insurance out of their own pocket" - same for parents.

"A lot of schools insist on two members of staff as well for transport." - which should be ditto for parents. If one staff member cannot be trusted alone with DC, how can the school endorse parents?

"All in all, it's easier to ask parents." - to do something considered inappropriately risk for teachers.

Cost/convenience I agree with. But saying that it's too risky for one group of adults but not another is just wrong.

EdithWeston Sun 23-Mar-14 19:25:33

"It is risky driving the kids around, and many have to pay for insurance out of their own pocket" - same for parents.

"A lot of schools insist on two members of staff as well for transport." - which should be ditto for parents. If one staff member cannot be trusted alone with DC, how can the school endorse parents?

"All in all, it's easier to ask parents." - to do something considered inappropriately risk for teachers.

Cost/convenience I agree with. But saying that it's too risky for one group of adults but not another is just wrong.

BackforGood Sun 23-Mar-14 19:35:46

Edith, it's more about numbers.

For example, I've taken children to school football matches. They played 7 a side normally in Yr6, we'd normally take a squad of 9 or 10 (depending if match or tournament).
The school provides a cover teacher for the teacher who goes with them (Who is the Team manager, Coach, and Referee usually).
He can't actually transport those 9 or 10 children himself.
Therefore they ask if any parents can help. So those who can, usually do, and those who can't aren't needed, as there are hopefully enough who can, who do.

the whole thing about not being alone, is just that - an adult shouldn't be alone with a child. If there are 3 children there then they aren't alone.

mrz Sun 23-Mar-14 19:37:14

Parents should not be expected to take responsibility for transporting other children just their own.

Nocomet Sun 23-Mar-14 19:47:14

Our primary now has a mini bus, but when the DDs were there it was quite normal for parents to take pupils to sports.

Only tended to be Y5-6 by which time we all knew each other (small school) so no one worried.

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 23-Mar-14 19:52:27

I thought all schools had mini buses. I've never heard if parents having to take them in any of our local schools

As far as I'm concerned if the school organise it & want a child to represent the school in an event. It's up to them to get them there.

If I arrange it or want to take my child out of school for a music exam perhaps or sport/dance event, it's up to me.

Martorana Sun 23-Mar-14 20:34:31

"s far as I'm concerned if the school organise it & want a child to represent the school in an event. It's up to them to get them there"

Because it's entirely for the benefit of the school, isn't it? hmm

intheenddotcom Sun 23-Mar-14 20:38:02

"It is risky driving the kids around, and many have to pay for insurance out of their own pocket" - same for parents.

"A lot of schools insist on two members of staff as well for transport." - which should be ditto for parents. If one staff member cannot be trusted alone with DC, how can the school endorse parents?

"All in all, it's easier to ask parents." - to do something considered inappropriately risk for teachers.

Cost/convenience I agree with. But saying that it's too risky for one group of adults but not another is just wrong.

Reply: It's a bit different when you are transporting your own child, which I assume the OP does to get them to school in the first place! Parent's do not have to pay for extra insurance, and regularly drive their children around on their own. Big difference doing something as a parent than as an employee.

Delphiniumsblue Sun 23-Mar-14 22:16:01

I wonder which planet people live in if they think that all primary schools have minibuses. hmm
Schools actually organise it all for the benefit of the pupils so the obvious answer, if people are like OP, is not to bother. Sad.

Nocomet Sun 23-Mar-14 22:19:29

Our teachers wouldn't take children in their cars, because that would be buisness use, but parents are ok.

I guess it just counts as a caviur for a friend.

Did at our school as I invariably ended up with girls I lift share for swimming or have for sleepovers as they always want to go with their friends.

Nocomet Sun 23-Mar-14 22:19:51


Delphiniumsblue Sun 23-Mar-14 22:37:08

Small schools generally do it and parents are generally grateful!
OP can't do it, you would imagine she would be pleased that the school arranged transport rather than drop her DC from the team.

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 23-Mar-14 22:38:37

Dh had to do minibus training to drive his schools minibus.

Delphiniumsblue Sun 23-Mar-14 22:43:50

Another problem Pictures and another reason small schools don't have them.

Delphiniumsblue Sun 23-Mar-14 22:45:09

Personally I would rather have mine in a car, with a parent, than in a minibus with someone who isn't very used to driving one.

BackforGood Sun 23-Mar-14 22:47:34

So, Mrz - you are suggesting that only dc who have parents who are both available in the school day, and have their own transport can play in the teams?
How selfish.
In my world people help each other out. It's what makes the world go round. If my dc play in a team, and their team mates' parents are unable to take them, then they are very welcome to come with me, just the same as on a Saturday when they play for their league teams, and just the same as when I'm taking them to cub camp, or to swimming training. Equally, when there have been times when my dc wouldn't have been able to do things as I can't get them there, other parents have offered to take my dc.

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 23-Mar-14 22:48:10

I guess we don't really have many 'small' schools in stoke on Trent.

linney Sun 23-Mar-14 22:56:23

There's an underlying attitude here that I find very distasteful- sort of "well, if the school wants my precious super talented child to perform for their benefit, the least they can do is arrange transport for him to do it. Not my fault if they can't"

Not "well, it's huge fun and a brilliant experience for kids to represent their school at things- lets's see how we can help to make it happen"

Delphiniumsblue Sun 23-Mar-14 22:56:30

I think that if I was a parent who had had a child in the same class as OP for 5 yrs, had a clean driving licence and a CRB check and was being kind enough to offer a lift to her child, because she was working, I would expect her to thank me not describe me as 'random' parent and assume I want something in return! I wouldn't expect her to be stewing over it all weekend and writing furious letters. I would like her to tell me to my face what is wrong with me and why a teacher, who doesn't get much experience of driving a minibus and probably hasn't been driving as long as me, is better. It is a mad world- and such odd people make MN fascinating. (I don't meet them in RL)

BackforGood Sun 23-Mar-14 23:20:22

Well said linney and Delphiniumsblue
In y previous job, when I couldn't get time off to take my dc to things, my ds didn't miss out because other parents were kind enough to help out. I was extremely grateful to them. Now I have a more flexible job, and have been able to take my younger dd to thing, I realise that it's no big deal to offer a lift to another child whose parents aren't able to do it.... of course, I've never met any of these complaining MNers in RL, just other parents all trying to do our best for our children, and all a) willing to help each other out, and b) grateful and appreciative to those who do help us out.

Oh, and I am hugely appreciative to the school for offering my dc the opportunities they have had, and for their common sense approach to allowing parents to sort out lifts amongst themselves to get the children there.

Nocomet Sun 23-Mar-14 23:25:38

Because I changed courses and fetched up as an over 21year old at university I could borrow the dept. Minibus for a society I was in.

Chaning from a small hatch back to a transit, a great deal longer is interesting, especially when in town. The students I took places were old enough to appreciate I didnt do it every day and shut up.

I'm much less sure about about DDs Y6.

Delphiniumsblue Mon 24-Mar-14 06:49:14

If I was the school and OP made any fuss at all about a perfectly kind and reasonable offer of a lift I would have to drop her from the team.
It is simple, the child needs to be somewhere so OP has 3 choices:
1. She takes time of work and goes.
2. She accepts the kind offer of a lift.
3. Her child is not in the team.

I suspect that OP wants a coach, at no cost to her, from a non existent school budget!
Is she coming back to the thread after a weekend of 'stewing over' the horror of a parent daring to volunteer to take those whose parents can't manage it?

Delphiniumsblue Mon 24-Mar-14 06:49:53

Sorry, him not her.

mrz Mon 24-Mar-14 07:02:05

Did I say that BackForGood? No I said parents shouldn't be expected to take other children ... if they offer it's a very different thing. How many parents have multiple booster seats for a start!

linney Mon 24-Mar-14 07:12:57

Mrz highlights an important point. My Dp is a football coach. He is not allowed to organize parents to give lifts to away matches- but if parents make arrangements amongst themselves to give lifts that's fine. So he tells everyone when and where and they sort it out. That's why schools word things so vaguely. Because of my aforementioned 7 seater, my ds was always asked if his mum was "coming to watch". He would ask me- then if I could I would offer lifts.

Delphiniumsblue Mon 24-Mar-14 07:16:22

Some junior children are taller than some adults, would they need booster seats?

Don't feel guilty about not being able to reciprocate lifts during the school day. You will find, especially as your DC gets older, that there are lots of sports or music activities at weekends and in the evenings and you can always offer to give lifts to them. It all works itself out in the end.

mrz Mon 24-Mar-14 07:42:38

My infant class takes part in inter school sports competitions (we provide a coach before anyone asks) but they would all need booster seats ... and of course some junior children aren't very tall.

Delphiniumsblue Mon 24-Mar-14 09:18:37

We don't know how tall OP's DS is, but I am 5ft 6ins and some juniors look down on me!
Perhaps OP could come back and say what she thinks the school should do with no minibus and no money.

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