Saying no to school trip

(51 Posts)
Greythorne Sat 12-Oct-13 21:58:51

My DS is 6, turns 7 in Dec.
School trip for 5 nights coming up in a few months.

DS not keen to go. I am not keen for him to go.

Would it be very wrong of me to say no to the trip?

spanieleyes Sat 12-Oct-13 22:02:09

Why would it? We always have a proportion of children who don't go on residentials ( and we don't run any until year 5/6, 7 year olds are rather young for residentials in my opinion!)

5madthings Sat 12-Oct-13 22:05:12

I think five nights is a long time for kids that age, our school does reside tials from tr4 onwards so age 8 and for two nights, then three nights in yr five/six.

SatinSandals Sat 12-Oct-13 22:11:56

I would take your lead from your child. One of mine couldn't have done it at that age so I wouldn't have made him.

QOD Sat 12-Oct-13 22:14:21

Nope. Dd didn't go

NoComet Sat 12-Oct-13 22:24:27

5 nights at 7 years old, most DCs I know don't do sleep overs except at grandma's until they are at least 7, many wait until they are 8.

A Brownie leader certainly wouldn't expect all new seven yearold brownies to want to do nights away and often wouldn't suggest they went on a longer pack holiday.

I have had a seven yearold here for two nights, but her big sister was here too and she's known us all her life. I didn't have DDs school friends until they were older.

Fairenuff Sat 12-Oct-13 23:05:41

No, that is too young. Is he in Year 2? Five nights is too long.

Bunbaker Sat 12-Oct-13 23:09:26

DD has never gone on any of the residentials. She simply didn't want to go. She is 13 now.

Jinty64 Sat 12-Oct-13 23:10:44

My ds (7) wouldn't want to go and I wouldn't want it either. Just say no.

BackforGood Sat 12-Oct-13 23:16:09

I think that's far too young (and I speak as someone with 3 dc who have been on dozens znd dozens of camps with Cubs/Scouts/Explorers as well as school residentials.

DeWe Sat 12-Oct-13 23:54:56

My ds (6 in year 2) would only want to go if I went too.

My girls at the same age (and even younger) would have loved it.

It depends on personalities.

simpson Sun 13-Oct-13 01:14:48

My DC school only do residential trips in yr6.

I do think 5 nights is too long for 6/7 yr olds, maybe 1 night away would be ok.

2cats2many Sun 13-Oct-13 07:32:22

That's very young for a residential.

Lara2 Sun 13-Oct-13 10:56:40

I agree, very young for a residential. Our KS1's do no residentials, Y3 do a sleepover in school, Y4 go camping for 3 nights and then it's gradually built up to 5 nights for Y6. I wouldn't have let mine go in Y2.

Feenie Sun 13-Oct-13 13:58:24

I was on a residential with our Y6s once and had to share a room with a teacher who had brought a class of Y3s. They were a bloody nightmare - coming in all night because of lost teddies/nightmares/tears. Poor kids. Why anyone would take kids on a residential at that age is beyond me, and taking Y2s is just bonkers hmm. No way would my ds have gone at that age.

everlong Sun 13-Oct-13 14:12:55

Tbh I wouldn't want my nearly 7 year old to go away that long.

Just tell school no.

It's fine.

pointyfangs Sun 13-Oct-13 15:46:09

No, that's too much too young. DD2's school does a residential in Yr2, but it's only 1 night, it's 10 miles away and there is no pressure on anyone to stay overnight - it's optional.

They then do 3 nights in Yr4 and 5 nights in Yr6.

Biscuitsneeded Sun 13-Oct-13 16:39:19

What kind of school is organising this?? It seems very naive. They'll all be wetting the bed, crying for their parents and wearing the same pants all week... My Ds went on his first beavers sleepover aged 7 but that was for one night, which seemed enough at the time!

Periwinkle007 Sun 13-Oct-13 21:01:18

no - my daughter is 6. absolutely no way would she be ready to go away with school for 1 night let alone 5 in a years time. perhaps a couple of nights with rainbows/brownies but 5 nights is too long IMO and I would be very surprised if you were the only ones who say no.

I would definetly say no. My DCs school does a one night trip when the children are 8/9, then 3 nights the following year. Even then most parents find it quite a long time for them to be away, and the school spends months preparing the children. There is no way I'd agree to my 6 year old going on a residential trip of even one night, she's just too young.

servingwench Sun 13-Oct-13 21:12:14

No way, too young and too long! My dd has just been on a two night away school trip. She is 8. She hated it, I knew she would and wished I'd gone with my instincts rather than be pressured by school!

MomentForLife Sun 13-Oct-13 21:12:37

Woah, no way would I let my DD go either. Far to young imo.

MomentForLife Sun 13-Oct-13 21:13:55

Woah, no way would I let my DD go either. Far to young imo.

Portofino Sun 13-Oct-13 21:38:37

DD went away for a week at that age - she was happy to do it mind. I wouldn't say it is too young, but you should be guided by your child as to whether they want to. My school had their first residential when they were 8 and most were happy to go. The ones who cried still had a fabulous time.

OddBoots Sun 13-Oct-13 21:40:56

There's nothing wrong with saying no if you don't feel going is right for your child.

BoundandRebound Sun 13-Oct-13 21:48:08

I wouldn't even consider a residential at that age

Whereisegg Sun 13-Oct-13 21:55:49

Hmmmm a mix of opinions here.

You know your child best op, it does seem a long trip for a 7yr old.
My dd just did a 5 night trip with school but she's 10.

If you think there's any chance he might change his mind and that he would cope if he did, maybe start putting money away to cover the cost now so its not an issue if he does.
Then, if he doesn't change his mind, you have a bit of cash for some treats the week his classmates are away so he also has a special time, maybe a weekend somewhere?

BackforGood Sun 13-Oct-13 22:59:47

Not that much of a mix!
The vast majority are saying it's too young.

OP are you in the UK? This sort of trip seems to be much more the norm in, for example, France.

Whereisegg Sun 13-Oct-13 23:06:20

Yes, but not all.

As I said, the op knows her child best.

Fwiw my dd would have been fine with that, but I wouldn't have let her. I was bad enough with the one she just went on.

The school must have had success with this I would think, unless this is the first year they've attempted it.

Worried123456 Sun 13-Oct-13 23:09:04

Is this a private school?

morethanpotatoprints Mon 14-Oct-13 00:02:26

OMG, far too young imo, especially as he doesn't want to go.
We always said no to residentials even at y6 and our dc had loads of fun at home for the week or we took them away ourselves.
You shouldn't feel presurised if you don't want to agree to it, they aren't compulsory.

Greythorne Mon 14-Oct-13 00:34:49

France, not UK.

In our school huge amounts of pressure are put on y6 children to do the 5 day residential. Any that don't go stay in school with the y5's and are made to feel very out of things. Dreading DD getting to that age - she is 7 and has never been away for a night. Several of her 9-year-old friends are the same.

Picturesinthefirelight Mon 14-Oct-13 07:20:45

That does seem very young

At ds school there is an overnighter in Year 3 then a 5 night outward bound in year 5.

Whereisegg Mon 14-Oct-13 08:34:22

LaBelle, that sounds awful!
Any of the children in dd's year that didn't go on the trip had an activity week at school.
All non uniform and trips swimming/cinema etc for a nominal fee.
It's as much for the parents that can't afford the residential (over £300 inc all the gear they need) as the children that don't want to go.

ErrolTheDragon Mon 14-Oct-13 08:44:38

What sort of trip is it? (curious why they'd do a trip of this length so young in France). I'd say no anyway if your DS isn't keen. My DD would def have been too young then, absolutely fine by yr5/6.

pointyfangs Mon 14-Oct-13 08:50:56

LaBelle that's awful. The ones who don't go on the Yr6 France trip at DD2's school most certainly are not left to mope in the classroom - those days that don't fall on weekends are spent off curriculum, doing adventure activities, going bowling and having all kinds of interesting field trips. We live in quite a deprived area and the school doesn't have a hardship fund that can cover big trips, but it can certainly cover something fun for those who can't go.

MomentForLife Mon 14-Oct-13 08:55:16

That's awful LaBelle. I think if my daughter didn't want to go on a residential I would argue my case that we'd go on a family holiday that week unless she really wanted to to the activities the school put on during the week.

The thing is, there are no other activities in school. Year 6 goes on the 5-day outward-bound residential (which apparently counts towards PE) and the rest of the school are having a normal teaching week. So if you don't go you either stay with the year 5's and join in their lessons or it is 'unauthorised absence'.

RatherBeOnThePiste Mon 14-Oct-13 09:28:36

I just don't see that this kind of trip at this age is necessary. My DC primary had one residential trip in the summer of Year 6, fine by me.

Thing is, OP, you will get almost universal 'I wouldn't let my child go' from UK parents, but as I understand it such trips are very much the norm in French schools, and you risk you (and more importantly your DS) being the odd one out in not going, which IMO changes the equation significantly.

Do you have a feel for what proportion of the DC are likely to go?

Looksgoodingravy Mon 14-Oct-13 15:09:21

Ds has just spent a night away for his first residential, he's in Y2 and thoroughly enjoyed it, he was excited for weeks before.

It all depends on the child though, I'm pretty sure ds would jump at the chance of a five night sleep-over but the same doesn't apply to all children. I'd feel bad for a child if they were the only ones out of their class not going, it's something that will be discussed in subsequent lessons no doubt and I'm sure the child/ren who don't go will feel left out.

Scarynuff Mon 14-Oct-13 16:45:22

I work in Year 2 and cannot imagine the children coping with a 5 day residential.

PrimalLass Mon 14-Oct-13 17:09:22

No - too long too young.

Hulababy Mon 14-Oct-13 17:18:37

It seems very unusual to have such a long residential trip in Y2, infants. Maybe 1 night to get them prepared for junior trips would be more appropriate tbh.

I work in Y2 and no way would I want to take them away for 5 nights. We have looked into a one night residential locally as a possibility, but nothing more.

DD's primary school did residentials from Y3 onwards, but 3 nights only. Y3/4 trip was about an hour away so not too far. Y5 trip was France, Y6 a PGL one. Every child went (small school) and it went well, but it was much shorter and another year older, and somehow being in Juniors just makes them seem, and often feel, a bit older.

I would have allowed DD to go because I know she would have wanted to go with her friends. But I'd have felt it was too much too soon tbh.

rac321 Tue 15-Oct-13 11:43:10

I agree, an overnight stop (never mind a 5 night stop) is too much for many 6-7yr olds. DS wouldn't have enjoyed it at that age. At our school they just go away in Year 6 for 3 nights, which is ideal.

aparentsview Sat 07-Dec-13 03:09:19

I write the following not necessarily for this post or forum, but I feel it generally needs to be said.

I have to say that I think that Year 6 (the old final year of primary school) is more than early enough for residential trips away from home. I do not feel by young children not going away on residential trips from home prior to this in Y5, Y4 or Y3 even mean that there is going to be a detriment in their personal development.

Another thing that these primary schools need to do is to communicate better with parents of young primary school children, prior to telling the children that there is this lovely school trip that all in their year will be going to, when some are as young as 7/8 years old. This puts pressure on the parents, when the child automatically expects to go, when parents are not comfortable with their children being sent off for up to 5 days away from home.

I have heard that the schools are doing this for team building, or leadership development. I do not feel that their personal development will be stunted in any way. This would be like suggesting that any child that has not gone to beavers, scouts, equivalent is going to suffer because of not being away from home when they are like 7/8.
I have noticed, and from my own experience, most if not all primary schools, only did away trips for primary school children to stay nights away from home in the final year of primary school (Y6), when they are mostly almost 11 years old, some may still be 10, but some may be 3/4 months short of 12 years old if they have early birthdays in the year. However, as the years have gone by, schools appear to be making such trips such earlier.

What’s the rush? Year 6 being away from home for a week is early and young enough for children to reap the benefits and was always intended and placed in the last year for trips away in high school.
Whilst some parents may be comfortable with the business of their young children, I wonder if some of them if it’s purely for the development of the children or in fact an opportunity for some me time for themselves. That is one side of the issue.

I think the other side of the issue is that some parents are simply too afraid and concerned about being the odd ones out and speaking out to the schools in question. Listen, if we follow the governing bodies and say nothing all the time, they (the governing bodies) will just do what they want. What next? - Away residential trips for your Y1/Y2’s, you okay with that people? I hear the schools saying.
Parents are the ones ultimately responsible for their children, so I really think we need to get back to taking responsibility of our own children.

In this context, we should not be pressurised into thinking that sending 7-9 years old for a week away from home is not too young, when sorry in my opinion it is, because an away from home trip in the final year of primary school is early and young enough. After all, they do have many day trips throughout the years with many team building, activities etc to suffice.

mammadiggingdeep Sat 07-Dec-13 09:41:44

I think it is very much still the norm to do a year 6 residential. Some schools do offer a one-night stay in year 4 or five (I have heard of a few in year 3 too). It is very unusual to hear of a longer stay at year 3 or 4.

OsmiumPhazer Sat 07-Dec-13 19:03:15

5 nights for an 8 year old is'nt that long, I spent 2 weeks in Sayers Croft as a 8 year old and it done me a world of good. Added to this was a 3 month period spent in a childrens home in Stevenage at 5. I think you will find that many children are resiliant

lljkk Sat 07-Dec-13 20:17:52

Are the French general keener (than Brits) on kids being independent & self-sufficient?

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