Support thread for parents burying their heads in sandpits with PFBs off to school

(274 Posts)
MrsWembley Thu 15-Aug-13 09:51:56

Am I the only one, stood here looking at my DD and thinking,

'nooooooooo, you can't be ready, you can't be about to leave me forever, they can't have you, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...'

I'm fine with it, really. It's just, well, there's only three and a half weeks to go.sad

How have others dealt with it? How will you deal with it? How will I react to it? Glad of the peace? Sad at the thought that someone else is now teaching her? Missing her company? Grateful for the time alone with DS?

And how do people deal with school politics? And then there's all those frightful stories I've read on here about dealing with other parents!

If you've been there, please come and help us. If you too are sitting around, pretending it's not about to happen, come here to carry on the pretence.wink

MrsWembley Thu 15-Aug-13 10:30:27

Just me then..

<wanders off sadly>

herbaceous Thu 15-Aug-13 11:39:19

I've got my head in the sand, weeping. He's my only child, only just four, is being sent to our fifth-choice school away from all his (and my) friends, and we've had no contact with the school since a brief meeting. There's no settling in period.

But I'm sure it will be FINE. Just FINE.

Katiebeau Thu 15-Aug-13 11:41:54

I'm here too. Tying myself in knots about uniform, what bag for what stuff and distracting myself from the fact my PFB DD is not a baby. sad

She's so excited she is counting down the sleeps. grin

Allthatglitters789 Thu 15-Aug-13 11:41:54

My eldest ds just turned 4 is also off to school in 18 days sad
have been putting off buying school uniform for ages and its all starting to sink in now, only school shoes left to get.
pretty certain I am going to be a blubbering mess when I return home after dropping him off, though ds is very excited to be going!

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 15-Aug-13 11:44:58

I was you last year.

It wil be FINE! grin

DS1 has had the best year of his life. He has adored his teachers, made new friends and tried so many new things. He is really excited about going back into Year 1, really excited.

In terms of politics and other parents, try not to read to much into what you read on MN. I was very apprehensive and got myself into a bit of a state, but the vast majority of parents are lovely and everyone is in the same boat.
Just smile, strike up a conversation or two. I help out in DS1's classroom with reading and that has been a real help in terms of getting to know a couple of others Mums and also seeing who DS1 was becoming friends with and so knowing who to invite for tea etc.

That's not to say that there haven't been a few hiccups along the way, second half term all the boys in his class went through a pushy-shovy phase and DS1 got very upset, but the school dealt with it very well and it all stopped very quickly.

UnitedZingDom Thu 15-Aug-13 11:56:08

<hands pack of tissues to MrsWembley>

First few weeks in September at my kids' primary school I offer hugs to crying new mums. I have a lot of sympathy as it is so hard to let go.

I went through the same with DS1, every time he started a new school. last September he started high school (year7) and I was a nervous rack the week before.
I felt ill on the day but by the weekend I was fine.

I don't cry anymore about my kids starting or leaving.
I can't wait for DS5 starting playgroup!
(we have a DD as well and planning more and I'm pretty sure that when my youngest starts primary and I'm finally free for the day I will celebrate with a champagne bath!grin )

UnitedZingDom Thu 15-Aug-13 11:56:48

*about my other kids

MrsWembley Thu 15-Aug-13 11:58:28

Oh, thank-god, other people!


Making me feel better, although I haven't done anything about uniform yet other than pick up a couple of bits from the table-top sale at the settling-in sessions. Oh, and find out where to buy new stuff from.

My DD is going to our second choice and will know nobody there either, but she's quite good at taking over making friends so I'm trying, really trying to be not worried.

MiaowTheCat Thu 15-Aug-13 13:38:11

Friend got most upset when the big day came, she'd steeled herself for the big goodbye and was left, bereft and bemused at the school door when her daughter waltzed in, and only turned around to order her mum to go home and get a cup of tea!

Just please don't be THAT parent shoving the other kids out of the way with a camcorder in hand to make sure to get the best camera angles of his child walking up the path into the school building (actually happened). Tears fine... video camera pretending to be James Cameron - not fine.

Campaspe Thu 15-Aug-13 13:54:01

I was you 2 years ago OP. I promise that, although the first few days are bitter sweet, the advantages of having a school age child are great too. It's wonderful to a them develop, and interesting to help them fulfill their academic and social potential. And you may also make new friends yourself; I certainly found that to be the case.

MrsWembley Thu 15-Aug-13 16:12:33

I'll try to limit the photography to a quick snap on my phone as she heads up the road.wink

I'm looking at this time as good for my relationship with DS and his turn to be with me just on a one-to-one, as his sister had had for two years before he arrived. At the moment he only gets me to himself for a couple of afternoons a week whilst she's at nursery.

She's having a sleepover at her nursery this Friday. That'll be a test - for us!!gringrin

IslaValargeone Thu 15-Aug-13 16:20:18

Can I pop my head in even if I don't strictly fit the criteria.
I have HE'd but my pfb starts secondary school in 3 weeks. I can't tell you how wobbly I feel.

Adikia Thu 15-Aug-13 16:22:48

I've checked over the school list hundreds of times (or at least it feels like hundreds of times) and have most of her uniform ready, just need plimsolls, PE bag and some tights.

I don't know anyone at the school, but DD had made a new friend by the end of the induction day, they even walked up the school drive holding hands and chatting then hugged each other good bye grin

The school she is off to is brilliant and absolutely perfect for DD. She's counting down the days, telling me about all the things she's looking forward to and loves her uniform but I am so not ready for her to go!

MummytoMog Thu 15-Aug-13 16:26:10

My PFB isn't even four yet sad She's off to school in three weeks, ten days after her fourth birthday.

I am actually more worried about her uniform, as my other thread will show...she will be fine, and probably completely oblivious to any change in her daily routine. DS will be supremely happy at not having to share DH's attention for most of the day (and will be coming to work with me for two days a week so he can go to nursery, which will make him v v happy).

UntamedShrew Thu 15-Aug-13 16:28:46

My twin DSs are starting reception on the 9th. I've still got DD at home but I could weep now just thinking about waving the 2 boys off sad
All my friends think I'm mad and I should be jumping for joy but I'll miss them so much. Selfish I know!

littleoaktree Thu 15-Aug-13 16:30:57

Ds1 (pfb) is off, he's so excited and can't wait. I'm rather more nervous, I'm pleased with my choice of school and I'm sure he'll settle fine but it's the whole feeling that that's it now, no more free time together whenever we want to/work allows, it's all so much more regimented and controlled.

I feel sad that by the time he's finished school he'll be all grown up and won't be my cuddly little boy who runs to give me a big kiss after nursery sad.

herbaceous Thu 15-Aug-13 16:35:04

DS just said to me 'I really really wish wish wish I was going to <first choice school>'. I had to say brightly: 'Why's that, darling? <fifth choice> is going to be just lovely, and you'll have so much fun.'

I'm honestly on the verge of tears the whole time. He drives me up the wall most of the time, and I can't wait to have more time on my own, but I will miss him like mad after about 10am. And I just know I'm going to become the kind of interfering, pushy, teacher-badgering, PTA-joining pain in the arse I promised I wouldn't become!

I think if I'd had any information at all from the school - uniform, times, what they'll be learning, or even a welcome letter - I'd be feeling much less like I was sending my precious baby into the Siberian wastes.

Galena Thu 15-Aug-13 16:56:29

Can I join in? DD starts in a little under 3 weeks. She has mild cerebral palsy so I'm a little nervous about handing her to someone else for the day in case she falls and hurts herself. She is more than ready for school though and very excited.

I was sorting through her uniform today and I think I've gone a bit OTT... we have 10 polo shirts (9 plain and 1 logoed), 6 cardigans (2 logoed), 3 pairs trousers, 2 skirts and 5 pinafore dresses! I kept buying them from different supermarkets so I could see which washed best! blush

We have 5 weeks until they are in full time though, so it won't feel too different to playgroup to start with, and then she's having an op in Nov which will need 3 or more weeks off school. So much for losing her!

enjolraslove Thu 15-Aug-13 18:04:20

My (pfb) dd is off on 5th- only shoes left to get and name labels to attach.
I'm also expecting ds1 in next couple of weeks- haven't even got a pram ( lost the one from dd as I am an idiot!).
I am much more stressed and upset about dd starting school ( will I have put the name labels in on time?) than about new baby- it is a crazy time!
Much sympathy to everyone finding it hard- I actually teach so am very familiar with schools etc, I can't imagine his stressed if I didn't!!

IslaValargeone Thu 15-Aug-13 18:12:26

Galena grin Yes, I think it would be fair to say you have gone a bit OTT.

TeenAndTween Thu 15-Aug-13 18:59:07

Good luck to all you first timers. I hope it all goes well.

I help at my LOs primary. Please make sure all uniform and shoes are labelled clearly (and in a way that doesn't wash out). I am constantly amazed at the amount of unlabelled stuff in lost property.
Also keyrings / stickers on school bookbags really help your child find their's quickly.

On the first day give them a cheery hug and a wave goodbye. Save any tears until the children are out of sight!

Adikia Thu 15-Aug-13 19:03:05

lol Galena, thats a lot more than I've bought! If her polo shirts are white you can't actually have too many according to my mum, she swears blind she would be rich by now if she hadn't had to keep replacing the white shirts we ruined as kids. grin

my little princess goes on the 3rd and she does full days from the start, I'm a little jealous of all these parents with half days to ease them in.

MrsWembley Thu 15-Aug-13 19:23:21

We have two and a half weeks of half days. Well one week of afternoons, one week of mornings, including lunch if we want, then a couple of days of mornings including lunch, before full days. I think that works quite well, although if I was working right now it would be a nightmare! I do wonder how working parents cope with the sudden change from full-time nursery to part- time hours. I know there are clubs and things but not all schools provide these things and, by the sound of it, good childminders are hard to find.

Well done to those of you organised enough to be at the sewing/ironing on stage of labels.grin

herbaceous Thu 15-Aug-13 19:50:00

Mine starts full-time straight away. Not sure what the reasoning is - it doesn't seem decided by the borough, as lots of schools round here do half-day settling in.

Apparently, though the schools don't let this be known, as they don't have to legally be at school full time until they're five, you can in fact let them only do half days if you think they're too tired.

MrsWembley Thu 15-Aug-13 20:01:56

Yes, in all the paperwork our school gave us, there was a note at the bottom of a page that said that if any parent felt their DC needed longer settling in then it could be arranged. Seems our school has lots covered. Except they have no breakfast club, so even if it wasn't for the settling-in stuff, I still couldn't go back to work yet.[hrumph]

Though it's not as bad as a friend had it. Her DS had the whole first term of half days. Now that's a bad deal.

herbaceous Thu 15-Aug-13 20:12:02

Ooh I yearn for paperwork. It would make me feel secure. So far I've only filled in one form. No letters. No info pack. Nada. I've even written to the head, asking WTF's going on (but politely!).

<Waves>. DD is off to school on the 4th and so far I have been met with blank looks when wailing mentioning to other mums that i am not ready for this. <dramatic> Nice to know i'm not alone, feel less like a loon grin.

It's bittersweet really. Sad that our baby days are gone but excited for her at the same time. Will also be nice to have one on one time with DS.

Thanks to the poster up thread who suggested a keyring to help her recognise her book bag. Great idea!

Panzee Thu 15-Aug-13 20:21:37


My elder son starts in September. I love his preschool so much I never want him to leave! Haven't bought anything yet, can't bring myself to do it. <denial denial denial>

Panzee Thu 15-Aug-13 20:22:20

At the taster day one of the mums cheered after she waved her child off. sad

Adikia Thu 15-Aug-13 20:24:01

a lot of the schools round here did afternoon settling in sessions in the summer term, the new kids went in for story time about once a week i think, DDs school just did one full day, most of which sounds like it was spent in the adventure playground if you talk to my DD grin

My paperwork says that whilst parents are legally entitled to request half days it is strongly discouraged.

herbaceous is it your school that only has a horribly out of date website?

MrsWembley Thu 15-Aug-13 20:24:55

Oh herby, I have a whole nicely packaged pack of paperwork and all for a school that I don't think she's going to be at very long as we've finally got our flat on the market.

I think this is why I haven't done much about uniform. Burying my head in the sand--pit--.

MrsWembley Thu 15-Aug-13 20:26:08

Panzee shock!

Did you clock her properly. Watch out for that one, she'll be the one that causes problems at the school gate...

Bicnod Thu 15-Aug-13 20:48:17

I'm here too.

Every time I think too hard about the reality of sending DS1 off to school EVERY day I get this horrible lump in my throat sad

How can my tiny baby be so grown up?

He's ready and he'll be fine.

I on the other hand...

MrsWembley Thu 15-Aug-13 20:51:40

It's shit isn't it. Utterly shit.

How can we have got to the point where we are (on a daily basis as far as I'm concerned grin) screaming at them for not behaving/not listening/not doing as we would wish them to do and yet, now reality is sinking in, would wish them to be completely in our lives forever and never, ever, leave us?

Oh, conflict, conflict, how you are teasing me...

CinnamonAddict Thu 15-Aug-13 20:52:24

Panzee, maybe that was me wink
No, honestly I wasn't cheering, but I confess I'm looking forward to my youngest starting school.
She is more than ready, having 2 older (secondary school) siblings and turning 5 in November. The amount of mental stimulation she needs is wearing me out.
MrsW no no I'm not a trouble maker. I keep well out of playground politics. Had enough of that with the first 2 dc.

MrsWembley Thu 15-Aug-13 20:52:33

Just noticed the pit fail.blush

MrsWembley Thu 15-Aug-13 20:53:29


GibberTheMonkey Thu 15-Aug-13 20:55:16

I'm dreading it but it my case it's my precious fourth born. The baby of the family. My little friend. I'm going to miss him like anything

Oh gibberthemonkey, your post made me well up. That's how I feel, my little DD who has been EVERYWHERE with me for 4.5 years :0(. I think I will be worse still when DS goes.

Bicnod Thu 15-Aug-13 21:01:53

MrsW - yep, he's driving me crazy on a daily basis but I still want him here. With me. Driving me crazy.

I know I'm going to cry after I drop him off. I won't cry in front of him but I'll be in pieces afterwards.

It's going to be really bloody embarrassing sad

UnitedZingDom Thu 15-Aug-13 21:22:22

labels - use on whatever is absolutely necessary, otherwise get a permanent marker ( Sharpies are nice) and just write name on everything.

I only write our surname, so no probs when handed down to younger ones

herbaceous Thu 15-Aug-13 21:28:45

adikia That's me.

And yes - he's totally ready for school, and will love it, but I've lived the baby years so much, and waited for them for so long, and now they're gone.

<dissolves in self pity>

Though it could be necessary for his safety - the last few days I've been close to throttling him.

Adikia Thu 15-Aug-13 21:42:22

I think theres something in the water, DD ha been absolutely horrible all week.

MrsWembley Thu 15-Aug-13 22:19:49

Adikia, could your DD's behaviour be due to other family reasons?

IzziesMummy Thu 15-Aug-13 22:24:38

My DS is 4 today, and starts in less than 3 weeks. He goes full days from the start.

My baby isn't a baby anymore! As he keeps telling me, he's a big boy now (he thinks he's grown taller overnight, as he kept saying how big he is now he's 4!). But he looks so small in his uniform, and I've no idea how he's going to be able to manage his shirt and tie after PE.

All uniform bought (shoes finally done yesterday after a nightmare trip to the world's busiest Clarks!), just got to label everything now. Does anyone have any recommendations for name labels? I can't decide between iron-in or sew-in, or between plain ones or ones with a picture on.

Adikia Thu 15-Aug-13 22:29:08

possibly, she gets like it from time to time anyway so it's hard to tell, I think some of its just shes really bored without pre-school, plus its been really noisy here the past few nights so shes over tired.

Adikia Thu 15-Aug-13 22:35:51

i've gone with iron on with a picture and matching stickers for everything from here in the hope it will make it easier for DD to recognise her stuff and I already had to make her scrunchies in school colours so I cant be bothered with anymore sewing.

Tailtwister Fri 16-Aug-13 08:09:57

I'm the same OP, with DS1 starting in a couple of weeks. Every time I think about it I start to cry. It's ridiculous really. He's ready and looking forward to it. It just seems like such a huge milestone, the end of an era if you will.

I just hope I can keep myself in check long enough for him to walk through the doors. No settling in just straight to full days, but he's starting on a wed so a short week to start.

MrsWembley Fri 16-Aug-13 08:42:09

Oh god, what a thought to start a Friday; not just uniform to buy, but labels to be sewn in. Our HM, in the parents' meeting, told us that the iron-on ones don't last very long so it's best to use the sewn-in ones or use a marker pen. I was all up for using a marker pen but DP, oh no, he knows best...hmm Anyhoo, I told him if he was willing to do half of them then fair enough.

Watch this space.grin

herbaceous Fri 16-Aug-13 09:18:09

I've heard tell of a stamp you can buy of their name, which you can put in everything from clothes to pencils. Still not sure how to label shoes with black insides - are there silver marker pens?

Galena Fri 16-Aug-13 09:24:18

I bought labels from 'my name labels'. I've not ironed in the irony ones yet, but having stuck the shoe labels in the shoes (they unstuck) and the sticky labels on the lunchbox and drink bottle (wouldn't stick on the bottle) I'm not holding my breath! I have loads of Cash's labels I might end up sewing in...

Quenelle Fri 16-Aug-13 09:45:55

My PFB starts in September too. He was only 4 in June.

I've actually been OK about it, he's been going to preschool full time since March and his school is on the same site, just across the playground. He'll be with lots of friends he's had since toddler group and most of us parents know each other already from preschool fundraisers and birthday parties. I'm excited for him about all the new things he's going to be learning.

And then I think of him wearing a shirt and tie and those awful heavy black shoes at just 4 years old and I feel really sad. And he's not a very assertive little boy so I worry about him being bullied sad. I think I'm getting a little ahead of myself but I can't help it.

DH and I both work and September is going to be a real PITA. The first ten days of term there won't even be a class; they have been blocked out for home visits. Then DS has a week of afternoons only from the 16th, followed by a week of mornings only. They don't go full time until 30th September.

So far I have only bought two shirts and two jumpers, a school PE shirt and school tie. I didn't want to buy trousers too early in case he had a growth spurt. He's very tall and slim so trousers that fit his waist can often be too short to start with. Likewise with shoes, I will leave them as late as possible. Shoe shops don't sell out of school shoes do they???

The handmedowns my friend gives us for DS have iron on labels, usually stuck onto the garment label. They seem pretty well stuck on. Adikia that starter pack looks just the thing, I will order one today.

herbaceous Fri 16-Aug-13 10:07:39

Quenelle I did just did a massive cry reading your post. Not only because your experience is so totally opposite to mine (don't know a soul), but also because of the big black shoes thing. And potential to be bullied. DS is blind in one eye, which is smaller and different to his other eye. Although he usually wears a cosmetic shell, that is amazingly lifelike, he doesn't sometimes, and already children are starting to point and whisper. If anyone every bullied him over it, I would hunt them down and kill them.

MrsWembley Fri 16-Aug-13 10:19:03

Oh, herby, I'll help!

I'm not too worried really, honestly about DD but when DS starts in two years time I'll be thinking similar things.sad He's just soooo little.

Quenelle Fri 16-Aug-13 10:27:27

Oh no, I'm so sorry to have upset you herbaceous sad I didn't think before posting. I hope your boy's school comes through for him, and you thanks

herbaceous Fri 16-Aug-13 10:34:15

No no! Don't feel bad! I didn't mean that... I'm just on a hair trigger at the moment, and just about anything sets me off. I cried at Desert Island Discs just now too, when the interviewee chose his grandson playing the piano as the one record he'd keep...

Bicnod Fri 16-Aug-13 10:40:16

Oh herb - you just made me well up. I was bullied as a child and I can't bear the thought of either DS going through that. Definitely brings on murderous thoughts.

Just ordered these with MN discount - I went for the woven iron on labels and a small pack of the stickers.

We have to do a 'chatterbox' before DS starts school: covering an old shoe box with nice paper and filling it with special things (photos of family, special toys etc) so that if he gets upset they have something to spark conversation about things that are almost guaranteed to cheer him up. Nice idea I think smile

I'm excited for ds because he can't wait. I'm a TA so ds was at nursery during school hours anyway and he's soooo ready for school. The last term of nursery was a nightmare as he'd outgrown it and really didn't want to go.

This summer has been hard work ( but lovely) as he needs so much stimulation and he's an only child and has been lonely this holiday sad he's been lovely when out and about and we've been lucky to have had lots of trips out and spent lots of time with his cousins, but his behaviour when at home has really deteriorated this holiday sad

I've got all his uniform and shoes now and have gone for iron on labels with a motorbike picture, even though ds can read his name, it's just a bit more interesting to have a picture.

I must say I have had a few wobbles as he's so tiny, but I know he'll love school and do really well there, it's a fab school smile

Quenelle Fri 16-Aug-13 10:42:39

Gawd, the Desert Island Discs would have set me off too.

Is there any way at all you can make contact with any other new parents herbaceous?

DS's school has a mums' Facebook page. Any chance there's anything like that? Would the local authority have any information?

I can totally understand your concern. I can't believe the school's communication has been so crap. Hopefully it's because they put all their efforts into other areas.

herbaceous Fri 16-Aug-13 10:51:19

I've asked about on local Facebook pages, but to no avail. The school doesn't have a Facebook page or Twitter account. I know one family that's going there, but to the main site, so not much good. A friend of a friend is going to his site, but have yet to be put in touch!

A chatterbox is a lovely idea.

I'm hoping the school will spring into action once term time starts. Otherwise I'll be selling our house and all its contents to go private.

Quenelle Fri 16-Aug-13 10:58:42

DS is an only child too. Because we're both at work he's spending most of the summer at the holiday club which is run by the preschool. The leavers' party on the last day of term was a bit irrelevant because he was back there the next week and will stay there until the 16th September.

I waver between feeling guilty that he hasn't had a lazy summer holiday - no chances to stay up late or lie-ins, or days hanging round the house in his pyjamas - and grateful that he's had other children to play with.

We're going to take a week off together at half term so he can have a proper school holiday.

Quenelle Fri 16-Aug-13 11:04:23

It's unbelievable that they haven't even told you about the uniform. Maybe they've had a change in admin staff or something and they haven't been able to get the information out?

Are you still on waiting lists for other schools?

GibberTheMonkey Fri 16-Aug-13 14:09:38

I use fabric pen on the label and on the inside back hems. Too many cases of labels being cut out.
Though at my older children's schools they have labels on every single item of kit and it amounts to sewing hundreds of labels so I do kind of resist doing more than necessary anyway

Adikia Fri 16-Aug-13 15:17:42

I love the chatterbox idea, DDs school made us fill out a booklet all about their favourite things, favourite games, family etc so the teachers could get to know a bit about them before September.

Good idea with the silver markers Herby, I've been trying to work that out for ages.

Anyone got any ideas how to label a felt hat?

MrsBungle Fri 16-Aug-13 15:29:32

Can I join?

PFB DD starts on the 5th September, she was only 4 in June. She has done two settling-in sessions at which she got on okay.

I took her out of nursery 3 weeks ago and put her in the school's holiday club to try and get her used to going and to maybe make some friends. She is really liking the holiday club.

I've got all of her uniform, I think.

Every time I think about it, I get a quivery bottom lip and I well-up!

Stabim Fri 16-Aug-13 19:05:51

Not just me then! I am on mat leave with Dd so took DS out of nursery for the 6 weeks before he starts rception. I veer from wanting to scream at him (his behaviour has deteriorated since finishing nursery) and wanting to hug and not let him go. I well up just thinking about it all.
Keep imagining hi getting lost or being bullied or not being able to pull his trousers up or any number of things. He is my baby! I am quite concerned I wont be able to get him in the school door without crying.
Am goig to get 'Stikins' labels I think, I Do Not sew. But theidea if some with a picture is a good idea....
And just shoes to buy!

It's good to hear ds is not the only one who's behaviour has gone downhill since finishing nursery! It must be coz they're ready for school.

I forgot to add, I ironed all the labels onto the actual clothes but the size/ care label, incase any 'disappear'.

I will join you ladies. DD is much less worried than I am about starting school, although she has also enjoyed being at home with me this summer (teacher). We have had a few of her new classmates over to play.

I have finished all the uniform shopping - got the shoes this week - first ever black pair of shoes <sob> and I have used iron on labels in pink on most of it.

Fortunately, as I will be at work looking after other people's scared Year 7 new starters on the first day of school, DH will be taking her. I don't think he will cry until he's out of sight.

We did get our 1st choice fab little village school, so we are confident that even though she is very sensitive and not at all assertive, they will look after her.

We tried all her stuff on yesterday and she looked sooooo tiny sad

She is our only child which I'm not sure if it makes it worse or better! I suppose at least we only have to go through it once!

MrsWembley Fri 16-Aug-13 20:12:12

I've been reading some of these posts to DP because they are soooo close to things for us. He's just told me, as I've been describing how I feel, 'I do too!'

DD is out tonight, at her nursery on a sleepover. It's the first time we've not had her with us overnight. When she stays at Grandma's, so do we.

We miss her. She's been gone two hours and it feels like I've had an arm removed. God knows how DP's coping, she's been a Daddy's girl since DS arrived. We're both having a drink. Hope to god we don't get called to pick her up!!grin

Fuzzymum1 Fri 16-Aug-13 20:32:50

I found it hard when DS2 when to school - I had no babies at home any more and now my last baby was gone. Then a few years later DS3 arrived and I had to go through the whole 'last baby going to school' thing again! He's about to go into year 2 and I still feel sad at the end of the summer holidays. My PFB is off to uni in five weeks and I feel just like I did when he started reception all those years ago.

teabagpleb Fri 16-Aug-13 20:56:58

Ds turns 5 a day after starting school. He is more than ready but I'm yet to order uniform. I have trousers and shorts for him though. The school is supposed to be good and improving, but is a mile walk away (3rd choice) which will be a struggle for me (medical issues). And while they build a new building, there's no after school care - the company is meant to be setting up a service to collect kids and take them to another school, but aren't responding to phone messages or email. No before school care to be found, which is going to make work interesting for both me and DP despite having lots of flexibility.

I'm not sure whether to hope or not to be offered a place at choice 1 once term starts. Apparently a couple places usually come up and we're 2 on the wait list...

sparrowfart23 Fri 16-Aug-13 23:08:43

<Falls on this thread with a quivering lower lip> My DD is looking forward to "big school", and I am excited for her, but I am afraid the teachers won't see how lovely and precious she is. She is quite confident and I am afraid the big bad world is going to knock that out of her sad We are happy with the school we've chosen and were allocated, and it'll probably be fine, but I just want to bury my head in the sand... wine or brew and sympathy to everyone else worried !!

herbaceous Sat 17-Aug-13 08:52:51

Quenelle A new head is starting in September, but really don't think that excuses the total lack of information. Or of giving the tiniest toss.

I only know that the uniform has black trousers and white polo shirt because I went to the new starters meeting. Don't know whether he needs black shoes, so bought them anyway just in case. Or where to get the jumper. For any parents who couldn't go to the meeting, they must be completely at sea.

alluc Sat 17-Aug-13 11:08:18

My PSB (precious second born) is off to school in 3 weeks and she's still 3! She's 4 in 5 days time and seems too little to be starting school. With DS he seemed very ready and I wasn't worried ( he is May born but always been mature for his age) DD is my youngest and I think in a way that's harder especially as she'll be the youngest in the school!
She is excitied about going and has been at the pre-school attached to the school for the last year so knows about half the reception class already so I think she'll be fine and I'll be the teary one!

I am a big fan of 'stick in' labels - they just stick so no sewing or ironing on- and they work on clothes/bags/lunchboxes ...anything really. They definitely stay attached through washes and general wear. Definitely recommend.

Adikia Sat 17-Aug-13 11:11:03

herby, have you tried looking on school trends? they do all the uniform for the primary schools round my way and you can search by school name

Refoca Sat 17-Aug-13 11:29:00

Can I join you? Meant to be shoe shopping today, and still need to do labels, but we're still sat in our jimmys with heads firmly planted in the sand procrastinating and readig this post instead! Haha.

Hope I get my backside in gear this afternoon, I'm sure once we have everything ready I'll feel happier.

It helps that the school is small and friendly, and settling in only lasts 2 weeks...can't believe some of the long periods of half days mentioned above! I work, it would be impossible!

MrsWembley Sat 17-Aug-13 17:09:01

Just suffered the hell that is Clark's on one of the last Saturdays before school starts and <big woop woop and a shake of fists to the gods of shoes> found a pair within 15 minutes of being in there!!!

The ticket thing helped, as did the chap at the entrance who told us how long we would be waiting, so we quickly rushed off to see a Gromit and have a wee.grin

It also helped that I had suggested DP come with us (first time and everything); he hates Cribbs Causeway at the best of times and especially on a weekend. So, as he doesn't have the angst that I tend to veer toward in situations like this, three pairs were brought out in her size, one pair was replaced for a half size up, that pair was chosen by DD and DP agreed! Done!grin

BikeRunSki Sat 17-Aug-13 17:23:54

My PFB starts Reception in a couple of weeks. He' ll be 5 the week he starts so it has been a really long time coming. We are both very much looking forward to it. . A week of half days, then a week.of morning + dinner. Settling so far has been brilliant. He' s done 5 x afternoons at school; parents could go.the first time and we had a kind of assembly with the head mistress and the children went to the Reception classroom. Then the Receotion teacher came for a home visit, then went to DS' s nursery. I really couldn' t be happier. Did get a bit teary when I was putting name tags on DS' s school uniform when I realised that in 3 years time I' ll be labelling pinafores and cardigans rather than trousers and jumpers....

MrsGeologist Sat 17-Aug-13 17:29:38

Kind if cheaty being here as DS went to the preschool attached to his school, but he was only on half days. He's not yet four and I'm worried about how he will cope with the full day. We are quite used to a relaxing, leisurely start in the morning, so the full day will be hard.

When I told him he'd be in school in the morning and the afternoon he cried and said, 'but I'll miss you mummy.'

I could have wept.

herbaceous Sat 17-Aug-13 18:31:45

BikeRunSki Bloody hell. Your marvellous school has stiffened my resolve that writing to the head was the right thing to do. I very nearly HATE his new school, which isn't a good start.

MrsWembley Sat 17-Aug-13 18:41:05

Not a good start, no.sad

Some settling-in stuff on here sounds marvellous. It does make you wonder about the schools that do bugger all.hmm

BikeRunSki Sat 17-Aug-13 21:40:22

Well I am a first time school parent, so I have nothing to compare DS's school too. We are fairly rural, and it's just the ordinary village school, but compared to what I have heard from others, it sounds marvellous. At the new parents meeting, they had samples of the logo'ed school uniform out i different sizes and order forms for it.

teabagpleb Sun 18-Aug-13 08:12:44

Ds missed the settling-in session as we were way, but did look round with us a few weeks earlier. Just found out that he starts on the same day as two friends and is in same class as best friend, which is reassuring. His school does full days from the start, but the kids are phased in a few a day over 2 weeks.

Ordered uniform - just need PE sweatpants and the black shoes now. Socks aren't mentioned - I'd guess grey socks to go with the trousers would be best?

sparrowfart23 Sun 18-Aug-13 14:13:10

teabagpleb - I'd go for grey if they don't specify, as they will look cleaner than white after a while!

herbaceous - I really feel for you! You are doing really well being positive for your DS, and I hope the school shapes up sharpish.

GeekLove Sun 18-Aug-13 14:20:45

Signs in!
I hav done naff all but do at least possess a Sharpie. Will need to ring up school to pick up the rest of the uniform. As for shoes - Sainsbos will have to do as we have no free weekends.
Also due to a clash I will actually be at a conference for his first week! Am a bit gutted actually.

Adikia Sun 18-Aug-13 15:35:44

Awww, DD has tried the full winter uniform on today, she looks so smart and beautiful in it but far too grown up.

MissMarplesBloomers Sun 18-Aug-13 15:44:12

'nooooooooo, you can't be ready, you can't be about to leave me forever, they can't have you, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

OP My PFB is off to Uni soon, I feel exactly the same!!!

I remember her first day at school so well, she went in OK, if a little pale, and loved it. Her sister though (just 2 years younger) howled all the way home " I waaaaaant myyyyyy sisssttteeeeerrrr" which upset me more!!

I think the thing that I found hardest was not knowing what she was doing most of the day & who with as her little nursery was so marvellous. I soon got to know the routine though and the staff and then grieved for them when she went to Big School.

Good luck to all you with littlies starting it's an exciting if a little sad phase, in its own way, and soon passes so enjoy seeing them grow up with these new experiences!


I got DD's shoes from ASDA actually! They were £10 and look fab - exactly what I'd have gone for in Clarks for 4 x the price. I'll report back how long they last. DD is not 'hard' on her shoes generally going by past experience.

I think we should all share a pic of our beautiful children in their new uniform. It might make us feel like we're all in the same boat maybe?

Herbaceous - I read some of your other thread about your ds's school and it sounds terrible. Is there no way at all that you can get him in anywhere else? I'm guessing you're probably in London, but are you on waiting lists etc for other schools? Could you HE until a place elsewhere comes up?

Galena Sun 18-Aug-13 18:00:09

I'll get DD dressed in her uniform tomorrow and take a pic... but trousers, pinafore or skirt? wink

Am going to iron the labels in tonight...

Adikia Sun 18-Aug-13 18:46:53

smile I like that idea HappyCamper, can someone tell me how to share picture on here though please?

MrsWembley Sun 18-Aug-13 21:23:24

Picture sharing sounds fab.

Just have to buy the uniform now...

MrsWembley Sun 18-Aug-13 21:24:20

And, urm, also waiting for someone to come along with the 'how to'...


Galena Mon 19-Aug-13 06:54:48

I know how to add photos when on my laptop, but have no clue about on the app. confused

On the computer you need to have the photo on your computer then go to My mumsnet on the top bar, then My photos. Then you can choose which photo to upload. You have to ensure your profile is set as public though. Any help?

I haven't worked out if it's possible to view the photos from people's profiles on the app though... On my computer I just click on the person's name but that doesn't work on the app.

Galena Mon 19-Aug-13 08:42:07

Ok, having looked, on my tablet if I go to the desktop site rather than using the app (so go to in internet browser, then click on 'Go to desktop site') there is a purple button in the top right hand corner which says 'my mumsnet'. Click on that and it brings down a drop down menu which says 'my photos'. Click on that and you should be able to upload a pic.

You may need to make your profile public if it isn't already which is also done from 'my mumsnet' and will be 'my profile' or something similar. ..

herbaceous Mon 19-Aug-13 08:58:49

I'm game for some photo action. And yes - we're in London, and are on the waiting lists for two schools. Though I don't want him to get all settled at this one, then have to move in what is possibly a frying pan -> fire scenario.

Galena Mon 19-Aug-13 09:29:40

Oh boy... trying to get DD to get herself dressed in the school uniform... it's taking forever! we'll have to get up at 5 if she's to dress herself before school.

Galena Mon 19-Aug-13 10:08:17

Argh! I took a photo (she looked very grown up!) and tried to put it on and it wouldn't go upright, either lying left or right so am emailing it to myself and will laptop it later!

Bumpsadaisie Mon 19-Aug-13 10:50:59

I am just feeling ludicrously excited about DD starting school. I am sure it is a displacement emotion and I am in totally denial about what it really means!

But honestly, I can't wait for her first day and seeing her troop off in her little uniform!

I realise I may be in a minority here! grin

BikeRunSki Mon 19-Aug-13 11:08:57

I' m with you bump

Adikia Mon 19-Aug-13 11:53:28

Galena, my DD takes ages too, I'm trying to decide whether teaching her independence or the extra 2 hours sleep in the morning is more important to me!

Quenelle Mon 19-Aug-13 12:46:29

I don't know how DS is going to do a shirt up. He can put a tshirt on and is just learning to take one off but I can't see him being able to do up buttons confused

I suppose if the Reception staff had a problem with helping 24 children change in and out of shirts for PE in the past they would have complained about having shirts instead of polo shirts...

Adikia Mon 19-Aug-13 13:00:21

can you teach him to just undo the top buttons and take it off over his head like a t-shirt?

Quenelle Mon 19-Aug-13 13:06:14

He might be able to if the shirt is loose enough, sometimes he can't pull his arms inside a tshirt if it's too tight, and he can't do the crossed arms, over the head thing, he gets in a right pickle.

It just seems a lot to expect of a 4 year old.

Galena Mon 19-Aug-13 17:07:20

Yay - photo of DD on my profile...

As for the shirt, someone somewhere suggested taking off the buttons and sewing them on the 'buttonhole' side of the shirt so they look buttoned up, then sewing velcro to actually fasten the shirt. You wouldn't have to do all of them, just one for PE days...

Galena Mon 19-Aug-13 20:38:09

Waah, nobody cares!

Adikia Mon 19-Aug-13 21:38:17

Aw she looks adorable Galena

alanyoung Mon 19-Aug-13 21:49:20

This is the opportunity to have some 'me' time you've been craving for years. Go out and enjoy it!

But don't forget to pick them up at the end of the day. Schools don't seem to like it if you leave them there overnight!

LadyBarlow Mon 19-Aug-13 21:55:52

This thread has made me smile! smile
I'm a Reception teacher & honestly, really I'm telling you the truth, I swear- the children are all fine! I've been doing this job a long time & there's very few who struggle to settle. I'll bet good money that they'll all make friends & be saying ' well Mrs LadyB says....' & driving you mad with things their teachers do!
2 tips- do not cry in front of them!!
& label bloody everything( if you go in to ask the teacher to look for a sweatshirt from George that's age 4 that you havent labelled she will start muttering & turn quite angry looking!!)
Good luck!

Galena Mon 19-Aug-13 22:01:18

LadyB, I promise I have labelled nearly everything. I even have iron on labels for her socks! I haven't done her cardigans yet because the hot iron needed for the iron-in tapes made her 2 pounds from sainsbo's lovely cardigan go a very peculiar colour, so I'm even going to sew in tapes to those! And if the iron on labels come off I'll sew labels into everything else too. AND I'm also going to write on the labels with laundry marker...

Is this overkill? Am I going to look like control-freak mother? Should I label her ankle splints and wheelchair too? grin

Adikia Mon 19-Aug-13 22:36:22

Probably a stupid question LadyB, but do we need to label underwear/tights/socks?

LadyBarlow Mon 19-Aug-13 22:58:35

Galena I've got to be honest, I've never seen a wheelchair in the lost property box but why not, label it anyway!!
Adikia it's great when tights etc are labelled for PE day so perhaps label 1 set- normally for the 1st half term, all 30 strip completely when getting undressed for PE! It's a nightmare to get them to leave underwear on!

Your dd looks lovely galena very grown up. I'll try to uploads a pic of ds when I get home from our trip to the Lake District and I can get to the laptop.

Adikia Mon 19-Aug-13 23:36:45

LadyB, I feel sorry for DDs new teacher, I struggle to keep knickers (or any clothes) on her as it is, without the temptation of getting changed for PE grin

I think the photos of DD in her uniform are on my profile now.

Quenelle Tue 20-Aug-13 12:53:54

Galena what a lovely photo. I feel better about black shoes after seeing your DD in hers - she looks really great.

That's a good idea about the velcro. Sort of taking inspiration from the Full Monty here, but maybe I could do the trousers as well grin

Galena Tue 20-Aug-13 14:26:00

Adikia I think you need to make your profile public - I can't see your pictures. sad

Adikia Tue 20-Aug-13 15:21:21

oops, I thought I had. I think it should work now.

Galena Tue 20-Aug-13 16:48:10

No, sorry... If you go to 'My Mumsnet' and then 'My profile', you don't need to fill in all the boxes, but right at the bottom it says 'Do you want your profile to be visible to other Mumsnetters?' (or something) and you need to set it to 'Yes show it to all MNetters' and then click 'save'

Adikia Tue 20-Aug-13 17:08:24

doh, hitting save usually helps blush I'm not good with computers.

Galena Tue 20-Aug-13 17:12:03

Oh, she is mega-cute! What a posh uniform! Is it a private school?

Adikia Tue 20-Aug-13 17:37:00

yeah it is, very generous FIL sorted it out coz we didn't get any of our choices of schools and the one she was offered is in special measures and well known for having a massive bullying problems and kids not achieving expected levels.

Galena Tue 20-Aug-13 17:48:18

smile Lovely FIL! I went to a private prep school (Many moons ago) and our winter uniform was dark blue pinafore, light blue shirt, beige socks, navy knickers (and yes they checked!) and a navy felt hat!

Your DD's uniform looks far more Harry Potter than mine used to be!

MrsWembley Tue 20-Aug-13 19:37:19

Hellooo everyone!

Still haven't bought uniform, so no photos from this end yet.grin I'll check out all yours as soon as I can get to my laptop.

Adikia, what a fab FiL! And I'm guessing his support is a good thing right now.

LadyB, thank-you for the advice. I've got a whole list of questions for DD's teacher when she comes to do the home visit but you've answered one of them already!

I think I've managed to upload a pic off my phone can someone tell me if they can see it? Sorry it's size ways I don't know how to change it. It was taken before ds got his shoes so I can't show them off yet smile

Galena Tue 20-Aug-13 21:35:41

Don't think your profile is public either... follow my previous instructions...

Oh I did that galena but it mustn't have worked sad

LadyBarlow Tue 20-Aug-13 23:28:23

mrs wembley glad I've been able to help!
I might not have all the answers grin but I'm happy to try & answer questions if people need my wisdom! wink
1 thing about home visits- we're honestly not coming to see how clean your house is!!!

MrsWembley Tue 20-Aug-13 23:36:16

Photos that are up look

I really have to get off my arse and get to the shop...

MrsWembley Tue 20-Aug-13 23:38:15

Bugger, LadyB, I was going to show off my wonderful HouseWifely skills... wink

Now, posh party dress for DD or just running around in pants?

LadyBarlow Tue 20-Aug-13 23:55:11

mrs w I'd say let your DD run round in her pants when the teacher comes round! Let her see DDs true character!
Feel free to bake! I'd never turn down a cake! Although my TA & I do limit our tea intake so we don't have to use the loo in too many houses!

Adikia Wed 21-Aug-13 15:04:29

Mrs Wembley, he is wonderful, DD and I have the same love of learning as he does so he quite enjoys being able to do stuff to encourage her and discussing my uni work with me as his children were never interested.

LadyB I have labelled everything - will label DD if she stands still long enough grin

DD is super weepy at the moment and very clingy. She finishes nursery next week and I think this and all the school talk from us, grandparents and nursery is stressing her out. I've tried to tone it down a bit, now. I think she'll be fine when she gets there but it's been a long time coming and these last few weeks seem to have dragged.

Ds is just 4 and is my only one. I'm struggling because we have been trying for dc2 for ages and now discovered that dh is infertile so once ds goes to school that's it. It's really spoiled ds's early years as everything has been touched with sadness that we can't have more children. This makes me feel guilty. I wish he was a few weeks younger because then I'd have another year with him.
I've been a sahm too so got to find a job once he's at school as dh says he won't support me. Too much change all at once!

Ds isn't that keen about going to school. He's a bit of a homebody and I think he has a few issues so I'm a bit worried about him being picked on. He does well in small groups, but finds big groups overwhelming and he gets quite stressed. Otoh he's just 4. It's a lot to expect.
He is doing half days until he's ready for full time, as requested by us. School have been fine about this and have basically said see how he settles in and if he needs part time that's ok.

LadyBarlow Thu 22-Aug-13 16:32:04

I think that's a really good point iloveaglassofwine. Some people really lay it on thick- 'ooh, you're going to big school, you're going to have work hard and be good or the teacher will tell you off'
Some kids (& parents!) are so wound up by the start of term they need a month to recover! My advice would be to relax as much as possible, just say it'll be like nursery but you'll be wearing uniform/staying all day/ going to a place where you'll be able to stay till you're older- say whatever is going to cause the least stress, to DCs & to you

MrsWembley Thu 22-Aug-13 19:41:11

Stillhoping, sounds like the school are prepared for some of these younger, quieter kids and ok about making allowances, so maybe you could relax on that point? The other stuff does sound awfully sad though.sad As you've got him in for half days for the foreseeable future, it's almost like it's a settling-in time for you too.

LadyB, I suffer from the problem of 'ooh, big school, you won't be allowed to do that/you'll have to do this'itus... I keep kicking myself and adding, 'but you'll have so much fun, it'll be so exciting!'

I know mrswembley! It really is! I'm going to really miss him, although he is desperate for someone to play with all the time (adding to my only child guilt) so that will be nice for him.

He still gets really tired so we thought half days might be best for that reason too.

GetYourSocksOff Thu 22-Aug-13 20:27:36

Oh thank god I found the thread, thought there must be one somewhere! It seems to have moved on a bit but can I join?

Pfb DS is starting. I thought I was cool with it. He's been at nursery 3 days a week since he was 1 yr and I was looking forward to spending time with DD. I figured we'll still have the holidays, what's the big deal?

Aaargh I'm not fine sad I'm going to miss him so much. And he's going to change so much. And I'm worried whether he'll be ok as he's only just 4 and seems so little compared to some of the others.

Will read back over the thread now <sniffle>

MrsWembley Thu 22-Aug-13 23:25:43

Y'know, catching up, there seem to be a lot of us here with 'just 4's. Is it that we worry about them more because in our minds they are so much younger than those who are 4-6-9 months older?

Adikia Fri 23-Aug-13 00:12:25

I was wondering that MrsWembley, DD is 5 in October and has been ready for school for a couple of months so I'm not worried about her fitting in or being ready, its if I have everything ready for her and if I'm putting the right stuff in her lunch box that worries me. She's grown up a lot in the last 6 months and is far more independent now, I think if she had gone when she was just 4 I would of been really worried

Stillhoping your post resonates massively with me and I too suffer the 'only child' guilt (ours is unexplained secondary infertility). We can worry together hey.

adika, galena and olibeansmummy - all 3 photos look fab! So very grown up all of them. We have been away for a few days camping (making the most of our last 2 weeks together) so have not had chanced to upload a pic. I will though.

DD was 4 in April and still seems very young and timid. We have been practising getting dressed and undressed but she's rubbish!

Actually we know a couple of girls in her class with September birthdays and they do seem quite a bit older - one has been having reading books home already shock

ourlittlestreet Fri 23-Aug-13 08:41:56

I love this thread, this was me. I too had bought way too much uniform. So much so I ended up donated 6 too small brand new skirts to hung ironed for weeks and weeks.

Dd is now about to go into year six, her lovely printed horse motif name labels have become marker pen scribbles.

I have no idea where her or kit is or if her pumps fit, can't find her tie.

She we has been desperate to go back for weeks.

happycamper we are still hoping for a miracle but it's looking less and less likely as time goes on. It makes me feel most sad as I do feel like it has spoiled ds's early years. Especially this last year when we discovered what was wrong. Before then I'd just been thinking it was taking a bit more time. Having had ds without any trouble I never expected to be told that Ivf was our only slim chance of having another child.

It has definitely made me feel worse about ds starting school. And I do think if he was an autumn term birthday I'd feel better. Quite a few of my friends children are autumn term and I do feel a bit cheated out of another nine months with my ds. In the same way that I feel a bit cheated re the second child thing I guess. Ds was also six weeks prem, if he'd been term he might well have been the year below - if he'd been a few days overdue versus six weeks early he'd have been a September 2013 birthday. I was really hoping he would be! Having been a teacher of early years there is no doubt in my mind that some (not all) of the younger ones do find it more stressful and much more difficult than their older peers.

Sorry a September 2009 birthday! Brain not functioning!

herbaceous Fri 23-Aug-13 12:29:34

Only child guilt here too! Lots of difficulty having him, miscarriages, etc, then I finally had him at 43. Despite trying since then, no more miracles. I'm resigned to it now, but it somehow seems to concentrate all the pressure on to this one little person, which I'm determined he won't detect!

I'm on such a hair trigger at the moment! He's having a couple of weeks more nursery before school, but lots of his friends have left (<sob>), his pigeonhole has been taken down (<sniffle>) and his coat peg doesn't have his name next to it any more (<howl>).

And to make matters worse, despite writing to the school 10 days ago about the woeful lack of information, or evidence that they give the tiniest toss, I haven't had a reply.

herbaceous Fri 23-Aug-13 12:31:33

Oh, and a little stealth boast if I may. He read me his book 'Me...' the other day. The last line is 'I may be small, but I can see, the biggest thing in the world to you is Me.' In his little boy voice. I had to give him a huge hug so he couldn't see me crying!

Adikia Fri 23-Aug-13 17:21:42

Aw Herby that sounds adorable, I love listening to DD read, there's just something so sweet about small children reading. I think that book would make me cry too.

Those with dc who are reading are doing very well!

Ds can read CVC words and we managed a songbirds book this morning - Tom got a pot. Sam got a pot. Tap tap tap etc etc.

He's miles off reading a proper book!

MrsWembley Fri 23-Aug-13 19:26:28

Herby, that brought a tear to my eye too.

My DD 'reads' to us sometimes - but it's from a book that she knows almost off by heart.grin

Adikia Fri 23-Aug-13 20:21:42

Stillhoping, I used to volunteer to help listen to children read and IME once they get the hang of CVC words and sounding out the letters the rest becomes easy and they suddenly learn really quickly. DD was only just starting to get the hang of CVC words at the start of the summer holidays and is now reading reasonably well.

I think ds is held back by his lack of patience! He guesses the words from the pictures and if he isn't right gets annoyed, for instance be substituted jar for pot today. He can read "pot" but was more interested in getting through the story.

jamdonut Fri 23-Aug-13 20:57:50

This thread makes me feel quite wistful.

My PFB is about to be 21. Although he lives at home,he pretty much has a life of his own now.

My PS(second)B is just about to start 6th Form...and at this point,they really are responsible for themselves. Sure, the school has 'parents consultations' but in reality, parents are not in the loop by this point.Decisions are made by themselves,really. And she is a very confident young lady.

I am only going to be needed for another 3 or so years by my PT(third)B sad,when he will hopefully be joining 6th form himself.

I remember their first ever days at school. It made me very tearful each time. But I am so proud of what they have become.

MrsWembley Sat 24-Aug-13 19:43:18

Meant to ask, what are CVC words?

(Disclaimer: I teach secondary English and we're not expected to teach children how to readgrin)

Adikia Sat 24-Aug-13 19:52:01

CVC is consonant vowel consonant, so words like cat, dog, tap.

MrsWembley Sat 24-Aug-13 20:05:05

Ahh, that makes I thought it might be something complicated in a Jolly Phonics sort of way.

Those are the sort of words DD sees on the word games she plays on her father's tablet. So she'll be used to them when she sees them in class.

Iamnotminterested Sat 24-Aug-13 20:21:28

TheHappyCamper - re your mention of the child 'already bringing home reading books' in nursery; IME you'll probably find that it's at the insistence of the child's pushy mother. I do speak from experience here.

Hmm, well DD can 'read' me a book but it's clearly memorised grin - it can be quite convincing though! She will sound out some simple CVC words but isn't really interested doing it with me - she is looking forward to her new teacher Mrs S teaching her to read however hmm

I am suitably impressed by any 4 year old actually reading.

Iamnotinterested - note to self <<must try not become one of those 'pushy mother' types wink>>

herbaceous Sat 24-Aug-13 21:57:39

I feel I should say that in this regard I'm not a pushy mother. He's basically taught himself. Today we had friends round, and he picked up the 8-year-old's joke book and read them out. Really pretty startling. However, he can't write and refuses to draw, and won't wipe his arse or put his shoes on, so it's all swings and roundabouts!

Galena Sat 24-Aug-13 22:01:14

DD reads. Really reads. Fluently and with expression, even unfamiliar books. I'm so worried her new teacher will have me down as a pushy mother. blush I'm so not though, It's all been led by her, I've just helped her.

I'm thinking of offering to hear readers in the class but not sure if that'll make me look more pushy!

Adikia Sat 24-Aug-13 23:21:29

DD still has to sound unfamiliar words out but she can work them out quite quickly, we only get expression with ones she's read before. She can write as well and spell simple words but she can't wipe her bum either.

I didn't teach her, my 9 year old sister and DS did, they've been reading their school reading books with her since she was tiny.

Iamnotminterested Sat 24-Aug-13 23:27:31

Galena - I'm sure your offer of help with readers will be taken up.

But not in a reception class where you have a child.

Reception reading levels are governed by secrecy laws that the KGB would be proud of.

Galena Sat 24-Aug-13 23:33:24


We'll see... I think the parents at DD's school could be described as 'thoroughly uninterested' in their children's education on the whole. ..

Adikia Sat 24-Aug-13 23:38:01

might be worth contacting this charity they organise people to go into different schools to listen to children read, I'm thinking about it once DD is settled at school.

MrsWembley Wed 28-Aug-13 01:14:45

I still haven't bought any uniform.

Any chance I might be prevaricating?wink

EasyMark Wed 28-Aug-13 17:20:27

my ds will be 5 in Feb and is starting full time school on Monday, they call it foundation 2 here. Ds has done a year of half days and now starts full time.

I have his uniform and PE kit and footy kit, just started sawing in name lables.

He can dress and undress himself, wipe his bum and knows he wants sandwiches but cant read and can only count up to 14 and has speech therapy for mixing up his t and c sounds and not being able to say s yet sad

His understanding and emotional understanding is very good and he is friends with lots in his f1 class.
The school is a small local ofsted outstanding primary with only 200 in the whole school and the head knows the children all by name. So I hope it will be ok but I still dont want him to go sad

HarumScarum Wed 28-Aug-13 21:50:17

Galena, my daughter's school would be delighted to have you hear readers in your child's class. I have always done it and lots of other parents do too. Not all schools are paranoid about parents knowing how other kids are doing. I have found it a lovely way to get to know other children in my daughter's year group. Sometimes we don't actually read at all, just chat. The one to one from a nice and interested adult is something that not all kids get and is really valued by some schools.

And, honestly, all your kids will be just fine. My DD was a weird small shy kid and her rather rough and tumble school has been the making of her. I worried so much and it turns out that all my worry was completely redundant. She skipped into school on the first day and hasn't looked back (and she was terribly shy at nursery and preschool).

Good luck to all of you and I hope in a few weeks you'll all be posting 'oh, I can't believe I worried so much!'

Hi all. Not much holiday time left now <wails>

I have finally managed to take a picture and it is on my profile. She looks so grown up, but not grown up sad It only took 40 minutes to get her to get dressed and undressed into school clothes then PE kit!

Also, apologies if my comment about reading has been misconstrued. I am genuinely amazed with these children of yours that can read and certainly would not assume you are 'pushy mothers'. Indeed, I would be delighted if DD could read already!

I am quietly starting to fret about Tuesday now - full days from the start here!

EasyMark Fri 30-Aug-13 22:45:24

TheHappyCamper your dd is so cute but so tiny to be going to school shock

My ds is tall for his age and in 6-7 years clothes so he looks like he should be at school so I forget he is only 4. Its so young.

warning TMI alert:

I have been trying to teach him to wipe his bum after a poo as he will be at school all day, so needs to do it. It was going fine for the past two weeks untill today and it was sloppy and went on his legs then he was sick because of it and I had to put him in the shower to clean him up (as well as the bathroom). Can I just keep him home? Hes not ready sad

Adikia Sat 31-Aug-13 00:07:54

TheHappyCamper she looks adorable, I love the matching hair stuff.

Don't worry, it wasn't misconstrued, there was another comment about pushy mothers. My DD is 5 in October so she's that little bit older and has had more time to practice.

Full days from Tuesday here too sad

Ive had to go and get summer uniform as being private school everyone else in her class started last year and they all go back in summer uniform (will put picture up in a minute) so now have to label all that having thought I was ready weeks ago.

Galena Sat 31-Aug-13 09:02:01

Oh Adikia and HappyCamper, they both look gorgeous!

IslaValargeone Sat 31-Aug-13 13:37:55

3 more sleeps sad

Galena Sat 31-Aug-13 18:26:54

4 sleeps here. What an excited little girl we have! Having completely overcatered in the uniform department already, I had to go out and buy 2 summer dresses today as we have temperatures of 25C forecast for Wed when she's in for her first afternoon...

How many are in full time to start with? DD is part-time till 7th Oct. It's going to be a long month!

EasyMark Sat 31-Aug-13 18:37:31

Two sleeps here.

My ds starts full time on Monday but he did a year of half days so he knows the teachers and some of the other children. The only difference is he will stay for lunch and go in for longer (he gets to play for longer grin)

MrsWembley Sat 31-Aug-13 18:58:44

More photos, more gorgeousness!grin

Just finishing off a weekend with DM and thinking, I won't be able to pop down mid-week anymore.

Another week at home for us, with a home visit from DD's new teacher on Tuesday, then half days for two weeks. We're going to finish off our Gromit hunt next week, make the most of the empty streets as everyone else goes back to school. I've also booked a haircut for her and then we'll go buy uniform... not really leaving it up to the last minute

Galena Sat 31-Aug-13 19:12:56

Ahhh MrsW, you obviously aren't too far from us. We're an hour up the north motorway from where I think you are. If I'm right that's where DD will be having her op in Nov.

I've now finished naming things with labels and sharpie (yes, ok, I'm completely overdoing it!). grin

sparrowfart23 Sat 31-Aug-13 19:42:04

Oh my! Hadn't thought about how many sleeps left. Three more for us here, but DD's only in for an hour on the first day, then 2 days of mornings, one week of staying til after lunch, then full time from there! I had planned to do some crafty bits for her - hairband, belts, keychain for bookbag but haven't pulled my head out of the sand enough for that yet. No photos from here as DD has started refusing to try uniform on sad so I figured I would leave it for now.

No shopping left to do, but I am thinking trip to Legoland while she is still on half days might be in order. grin

Adikia Sat 31-Aug-13 21:55:37

All labeled now except the white socks coz its too much effort everything is ironed, PE bag packed, lunch planned and I've finished making matching scrunchies and even made a hanky to go in her blazer pocket grin

I've never been this organised in my life, so why do I still have this overwhelming sense of panic and feeling that I've forgotten something?

sparrowfart23 Sat 31-Aug-13 22:51:13

Not just me then, Adikia, though I've only just finished one ribbon flower belt. My excuse is that it will stop DD tying knots in it if it's sewn rather than just tied, but my prime motivation is that it's pretty. grin

Adikia Sat 31-Aug-13 23:07:40

grin I'm telling myself the reason for the scrunchies is that I couldn't find any the right colour (have to be maroon or white) but that doesn't really explain why I have sewn tiny maroon flowers with tiny glass beads in the middle on the white ones.

poorbuthappy Sat 31-Aug-13 23:08:09

I didnt get upset when dd1 went to school 4 years ago. This was because the twins were only 9 months old, still teeny tiny, and had lots of hospital apps etc etc. So i still had lots to occupy me.
But now ddi1 is going into yr 4. And the twins are starting reception.
And I am broken at the thought of all 3 of my kids being in school.

I was looking to dropping them all off and coming home and going back to bed for 6 hours. You know just to try and catch up on the last 5 years.
But no, i found my perfect job 8 weeks ago and they have asked me to go full time from week after next. Great for the family finances, not good for my state of mind.

So the plan is to hold it together Tues, Wed and Thursday and go straight to work from school.
Friday when I'm not working I will drop them off, come home and break my heart. sad

MrsWembley Sun 01-Sep-13 17:32:54

Just found out today I can order her uniform online and collect it from the shop!grin


Galena, if it's the Gromit hunt that gave it away, I've never been shy about living in Bristol. I don't post anything to worry about who might recognise me.wink I hope the operation goes ok!

Galena Sun 01-Sep-13 17:40:22

smile We're in Cheltenham... Down to Frenchay in Nov...

DD starts on Wednesday - she was so excited today because 'It's September! I start school in September!'

Gracie990 Sun 01-Sep-13 19:51:15

^^ if your wanting to make scrunchies, you can buy a summer dress and cut it up. (Save this years summer dresses for next years scrunchies.)

Adikia Mon 02-Sep-13 02:55:07

smile that's what my mum always did for me, she used to cover Alice bands with bits of old dress too.

I've had to use ribbon because it was cheaper.

Quenelle Mon 02-Sep-13 13:19:10

Wow poorbuthappy that's some major life changes you're facing this month. I hope everything goes smoothly for you all.

I love all your photos of your DC in their uniforms. They all look so proud, bless them.

I've ordered DS's uniform from M&S today. I can collect it from my local Simply Food, which is really handy. I just need to get his feet measured and buy shoes, wellies and plimsolls now. The coat can wait a few more weeks.

If they have a PE bag and a book bag, do they need an actual school bag? I think DS will only have a water bottle to carry to and fro, so a bag seems a bit much just for that.

DS said last week 'It's September on Sunday and that's when I go to Big School.' He's actually got another two weeks until his first afternoon, he's going to go off the idea at this rate confused.

Galena Mon 02-Sep-13 20:09:53

Awwww, DD gets to have her pic in the local paper on Wed. They've been following our story of trying to raise money for her op, and do regular updates on her. They're coming to take a pic of her in her uniform tomorrow... Can I manage not to cry? smile

herbaceous Mon 02-Sep-13 20:21:11

Fuming with rage and disappointment at DS's school. Still no info about anything, no reply from the head to my letter outlining this omission, and totally fobbed off by school office when I phoned to find out when the school day starts, whether they'd have dinners in the first week, etc

They really do not give the tiniest toss.

Galena Mon 02-Sep-13 20:31:21

Fobbed off how, herb? I don't understand how they can fail to answer a straightforward question...

I'm not surprised you're getting cross. Can you actually go in and speak to them face-to-face and not leave till you have the answers you want?

herbaceous Mon 02-Sep-13 20:39:32

I asked about school times for the second site, and got an answer. I asked about school dinners, and she said she didn't know, and the teacher would call me back. Then she put the phone down.

Galena Mon 02-Sep-13 21:08:57

Ugh. I'd be really struggling with taking my child to that school, as I'm sure you are. It's ridiculous! Can you go and talk to them at all?

Adikia Mon 02-Sep-13 21:26:28

Aw Galena, I bet she'll look fantastic in the paper.

Herb, that's ridiculous. they should bloody well know these things! I'd be fuming too.

sad 11 hours til my little girl starts school, she is growing up too fast.

herbaceous Mon 02-Sep-13 21:26:36

It's breaking my heart, TBH. Especially compared to so many on here, and many if his friends, who have had home visits, peo

herbaceous Mon 02-Sep-13 21:29:45

Oops! People coming to see the children at nursery, etc. I just can't bear the thought if him going in there, along with 30 strangers, to an unfamiliar place... However lovely the teacher, it's the general uncaring culture I can't take.

Wheels are turning for us to appeal on medical grounds, but it may well not work.

MrsWembley Tue 03-Sep-13 08:11:03

Herby, that's awful!shock

I'd be writing letters to governors if I were you. And the paper, if I wasn't worried about being seen as the trouble-maker by other parents.sad

And yy to going there in person and demanding some bloody customer service. They seem to forget that, just because we don't get a choice, we're still the end user and should always get the best they can give.angry

herbaceous Tue 03-Sep-13 09:40:16

If I knew who the governors are, or how to get hold of them, I'd be right on to them!

Quenelle Tue 03-Sep-13 11:03:08

Oh herbaceous I feel so sorry for you. Can the ACE educational advice line offer any help?

They have reopened today after the summer break so might be busy but worth contacting?

herbaceous Tue 03-Sep-13 11:09:04

In other news, the head teacher of DS's school has emailed me, apologising for the total lack of information, saying a welcome pack should have been sent by wasn't, that we'll have lots of info by the end of the week, and that her first priority is improving communication with parents.

A pathetic part of me feels bad for being mean to her. I'm such a sap.

In the meantime, the necessary forms are being dealt with to possibly get him moved...

Adikia Tue 03-Sep-13 11:10:39

Well, just back from dropping off DD, she went in with a big smile on her face, I was allowed to help her find her peg and tray, given a quick hug then told 'you can go now Mummy, I'll be fine' as she skipped off and vaguely waved in my direction grin hope everyone else's first drop off went/goes as well.

Quenelle Tue 03-Sep-13 11:41:11

That's good news herbaceous. Don't feel bad about being mean, how bad has she made you feel for the whole summer with her lack of communication?

herb - so glad you have finally got a reply! The head is new isn't she? Hopefully she will be making some BIG improvements.

adikia - sounds great! smile.Glad it went well.

Well, DH took DD in today and she cried sad BUT, the lovely teacher realised straight away and took her in by the hand. DH was left standing but managed to hold it together bless him!

I have just got home from work and she's told me all about it - full of chatter and can't wait to go back tomorrow! She got a sticker for "being kind" <sob> and even lit a candle in assembly apparently with a big boy confused! I'm so happy the first day has gone well. I may start to relax now.

herbaceous Tue 03-Sep-13 19:14:55

Well that sounds v positive THC! I'm still unsure whether to take a packed lunch, whether he can leave his scooter there, etc etc but will be terribly, terribly jolly for him.

Pictures of him in uniform (well, an M&S jumper until I locate the proper school one) now on profile.

MrsWembley Tue 03-Sep-13 19:32:52

Glad today went well for your DCs, Adikia and

Herby, that sounds a little more positive. At least you've had an answer as to why you hadn't previously had an answer...

Had the home visit this morning, lots of questions answered for me too (but only because I didn't take in everything we were told at the meeting in Junewink). Then we went to Sainsbury's to buy blouses and a skirt. Thought we'd go with what someone suggested up thread, buy from all over and work out which is best, wear and cost-wise. Tried her in it this evening and had a bit of a horrid shock. She didn't look like my little girl anymore. I know she's her own person and everything but how she looked really drove it home.sad

Awww so cute!

Galena Tue 03-Sep-13 19:41:21

Very very cute, herby.

Paper came to take pics today. DD looked very cute in summer dress, cardi and bookbag. But it brought home to me how tiny she is. The age 3-4 cardi was ridiculously big on her...

She's very excited and I'm not sure how I'm going to keep her entertained all morning before school starts at 1.

Mrs W, I bet DD looked gorgeous, even if she didn't look like your baby any more.

kerala Tue 03-Sep-13 19:44:02

It is eighteen years ago, almost to the day –
A sunny day with leaves just turning,
The touch-lines new-ruled – since I watched you play
Your first game of football, then, like a satellite
Wrenched from its orbit, go drifting away

Behind a scatter of boys. I can see
You walking away from me towards the school
With the pathos of a half-fledged thing set free
Into a wilderness, the gait of one
Who finds no path where the path should be.

That hesitant figure, eddying away
Like a winged seed loosened from its parent stem,
Has something I never quite grasp to convey
About nature’s give-and-take – the small, the scorching
Ordeals which fire one’s irresolute clay.

I have had worse partings, but none that so
Gnaws at my mind still. Perhaps it is roughly
Saying what God alone could perfectly show –
How selfhood begins with a walking away,
And love is proved in the letting go.

herbaceous Tue 03-Sep-13 19:57:10


Adikia Tue 03-Sep-13 21:14:13

Oh Herby, he looks lovely.

I have had timetables and what they are covering this half term sent home in her book bag along with her homework (reading, a sheet of questions to ask her about the book and a phonics work sheet) and a letter explaining where everything goes each morning, I'm never going to remember it all! on the upside DD says she had the best day ever and wants to go back everyday smile

LadyBarlow Tue 03-Sep-13 21:26:56

I forgot to post & wish everyone good luck but it all seems to be going well!
On the flip side, all my new class have done 1 session now & no one cried, everyone was smiling & everyone went home with the right (labelled wink) jumper!
Some Mummies cried but were careful not to let DCs see
So far, so good!

MrsWembley Wed 04-Sep-13 08:52:11


DD's in nursery this afternoon and tomorrow for the last time. I'm actually wondering now if that'll be worse, al the goodbyes and stuff.

Galena Wed 04-Sep-13 09:01:23

Awww, she'll love it.

DD missed her last 2 days at playgroup because she was poorly. However, we still had one of their library books, so we had to pop in yesterday to return that and pick up a couple of things we'd not picked up as she wasn't in. She was so excited to go into playgroup and see the leaders. She chatted to them really maturely (such a change from 6 weeks ago) and then went and said goodbye to each of them in turn.

And then bounced all the way to the car because it was 'school tomorrow'!

Galena Wed 04-Sep-13 11:09:35
sparrowfart23 Wed 04-Sep-13 12:25:30

Glad to hear it's mostly positive experiences, and that herbaceous finally got some info and an apology!

DD had her first day today (just for an hour) and I was shock when DH strolled down the stairs at 8:15 in his his tracky bottoms. When he said he 'would be OK' for her first morning, I assumed that meant he was coming to do the-coffee-and-biscuits-and-meet-the-other-parents.

TBH, I think I needed him more than DD!! (He fairly quickly said he would go with us when he saw my face and when I prompted DD to say DD said she would like him to come). Although I thought I was only a little bit nervous, I needed him to drive as I had really bad stomach pains, which I insisted weren't nerves. These went fairly quickly once we got to school blush. It was nice to have him there when DD had a little tantrum when we had to leave.

sparrowfart23 Wed 04-Sep-13 12:33:22

Loving the photos of your DCs in uniform. Galena you must be so so proud!

Galena Wed 04-Sep-13 13:39:44

The little toad didn't even say goodbye! shock

Galena Wed 04-Sep-13 16:17:37

She had a ball! Made a friend, drew pictures and played. And apparently they had a snack at the end! smile

Galena that article is fab - you must be so proud of her - and WOW that the lottery winners are going to fund her op!!! She looks adorable (and yes so tiny). Glad she loved it today smile

Well done to sparrowfart as well for holding it together (and making DH go) grin.

DD's second day went well. She did cry again at drop off but son cheered up. They al got changed for PE (which I would love to have seen) and she has brought her first "reading book" home - although it does not have any words in grin. She is so tired tonight. I'm going to try together bathed by 6-6.15 and straight into bed.

Awww Galena your dd looks lovely smile

Ds had his first day today. He had a little wobble this morning but no tears although he said he felt a little shy especially when he had to answer the register as our surname begins with A so he was the first one to do it. Once he went in he was fine and was high as a kite afterwards so must have enjoyed it!

Adikia Thu 05-Sep-13 10:45:38

Galena, what a lovely article, I'm glad she had a good first day!

DD's gone in for her 3rd day today and walked down the drive holding hands with her new best friend grin

herbaceous Thu 05-Sep-13 14:08:01

It was! He was all bravado and excitement on the way, with his little legs sticking out of his huge shorts, then went very quiet and sad-looking once inside. Nice, caring atmosphere, and lots of fun to be had, but general air of lots of stuff we felt we should have known - £3 for snack money here please; no no of course you can't get the book bag here; pick up is 3.15 (not 3.30 as I was told). One thing that boils my piss is internal admin that is illogical, not designed for the end user, and about which you're made to feel stupid for not knowing.

Got given the (out of date) prospectus and newsletter on the way out! Playground still not started.

Little man looked very sad as we left, but I managed not to cry, mainly as I had to undergo aforementioned tedious admin.

MrsWembley Thu 05-Sep-13 14:31:35

Did you manage a face-to-face chat with the Head, or at least manage to make an appointment?

herbaceous Thu 05-Sep-13 14:38:45

Not as yet. All is chaos. According to the newsletter we were given, the main site is in building work turmoil, and currently doesn't even have a kitchen, so I'm waiting until things are calmer. I now have all the info I need, anyway, so it would just be a rant at her about crapness she already knows about.

She has asked for 'suggestions' about the forthcoming website upgrade, however. I may contribute 'constructively' to that.

Galena Thu 05-Sep-13 16:20:57

Very tired little girlie today - even though it was only another 2 hour afternoon! Hope she's going to cope with school! smile

bearhug Thu 05-Sep-13 16:37:17

hmm - my DS won't tell me anything about his first day at big school. sad Is this common?

Galena Thu 05-Sep-13 16:43:18

DD didn't tell us much until a few hours later. She hasn't said anything about today though. Perhaps try asking leading questions like 'Did you have a snack? and what happened after? was it playtime?' etc.

herbaceous Thu 05-Sep-13 16:43:19

He's home! We had a minimal, yet positive, report of the day. "For lunch I had salad, coleslaw and jelly. And, of course, cous cous."

He made a friend, Ashta. When asked if that was a boy or a girl, he said: "Girl. I mean, boy."

He got a sticker for being good. And a vast book bag.

herbaceous Thu 05-Sep-13 17:20:34

Oooh, get me. Just had a phonecall from the head teacher, apologising for the utter crapness of treatment of new parents. She has lots of ideas of how it's going to get better, and invited me to meet her tomorrow morning.

Get in.

sparrowfart23 Thu 05-Sep-13 18:51:35

bearhug - DD started not telling us how her day went while she was at day camp this summer - I would ask and she would say 'I can't tell, it's a secret' which made me paranoid. She is still doing this a bit, but we can get some info out of her if we ask questions like Galena suggests. The problem for us is sifting the fantasy from the reality. DD had a bad bruise on her arm today; she told me BoyX (who isn't even in her class, but she knows him from nursery) did it. Will have to follow it up with teacher tomorrow.

herbaceous - so glad you little man had a good day, and that the headteacher is looking for your input to improve things.

happy camper - DD is quite tired too, but we are keeping her activities going (swimming, dancing, and gymnastics) and hoping she will adjust. Today she slept until "green light" smile and I'm hoping for more of the same (she often wakes between 5 and 6).

First time doing school run in the rush hour tomorrow. Fingers crossed for a good run!

Some nice positive stories - good to hear.

Our week is going downhill rapidly. DD was hysterical this morning and had to be 'peeled' off DH. She was the same this afternoon and all the other parents were staring sad. I guess we need to see if they think she's not ready for full days maybe? She is shattered and overwhelmed by it all I think. I have promised her a little treat on Saturday if she tries not to get upset tomorrow (but not sure if that's a god thing to do or not really). I feel drained!

MrsPeeWee Thu 05-Sep-13 19:35:15

I have just been reading down this thread for the first time and can't express how relieved I feel to know that I am not/wasn't the only one to feel this way - anxious, scared and stressed to the point of sleepless nights at the thought of my DS starting full time school for the first time.

He started YR 1 on Tuesday after only ever having part time nursery experience due to us living in Scotland for the past 4 years to then move back in to England. He completely missed out the reception/foundation year because they didn't do that in Scotland.
DS is behind, because they work on phonics much sooner in England. So, with him being behind, missing a YR, going in to full time school, after only ever doing half days previously and the school not allowing a settling in period, not to mention being completely heartbroken at the thought of everything changing, my baby going through the next huge chapter and nothing being the same again - I've been a mess!!

However, DS has just finished the 3rd day of being in school full time and is doing fantastic! I have never, in my life been so proud. The teacher has already got someone in to the class every afternoon for an hour to give my son one-to-one learning to help him catch up. He's already learning so much, he's happy. So after all the worrying, I am finally beginning to relax. (not fully, but definitely getting there) I hope any of you in similar situations will be able to relax soon, too. It's a huge transition for our children, but nobody warns us about how distressing it is for us parents, eh?

MrsWembley Thu 05-Sep-13 20:45:59

MrsPeeWee, I'm so pleased to read such a happy story after all your worries. In fact, it's fantastic how many here are going through this 'huge transition' in relative calm and with fewer problems than anticipated. Although, THC, I hope your story gets happier. I'm sure it will and, if it is too much for her, always remember it is your right to withdraw her until she is five or until you think she is ready, which ever is sooner.

Galena, I have to tell you, that article made me well-up.blush

Herby, fantastic news about your Head. At the meeting, why don't you hint that you are thinking of joining the PTA... Y'know, just to make sure she takes you seriously.wink

I'm going to pick up the last bits of the uniform tomorrow, including grey socks, so I'll get a picture up some time tomorrow evening. DS is having his third taster session at nursery in the morning so I'm taking DD for a haircut and a little girly shopping experience. Not that I usually do girly shopping, so it'll be an experience for both of us.grin

spanieleyes Thu 05-Sep-13 20:54:25

I think herbaceous should enquire about governor vacancies!!

Ds started today. He was absolutely fine. He is mornings only and made me play schools all afternoon.
He should be full time after a week or so but we have negotiated half days simply because he's summer born, may have dyspraxia and is worse when tired. But now I'm not sure whether he'd be better in full time since he seemed to enjoy it.
There were only six in today too, the six youngest. They add the others I'm gradually with the oldest ones starting last. I think possibly he may find it more overwhelming when there are more children and it's 1:15 not 1:3 adult to child ratio.
Still glad he liked it. Seemed to take it all in his stride.

I guess we will see how it goes re part time or full time. I suspect five full days might well be a bit much initially but if he wants to stop I will of course let him.

sparrowfart23 Fri 06-Sep-13 09:32:30

Ha spaniel I was thinking the same thing! It might really help how you feel about the school, Herbaceous, if your DS stays there (or it might be a PITA grin). I have put my name forward at DD's school and will be having my governor's training next week - gulp!

School run this morning was slightly painful, as I hate being late. Skidded into the car park on two wheels and arrived in classroom with about 30 seconds to spare. I was glad there was no bell to shame me. We were a little tardy leaving as DH had left DD's school shoes on the dining room table hmm, and was still in bed when we left the house envy. I am going to insist he brings me coffee in bed before he takes DD off to her dance classes tomorrow morning! grin

herbaceous Fri 06-Sep-13 10:43:32

Right. Well I met her for about 40 minutes. She realises there's a hell of a lot to do to improve communication with parents. She was at the new starters meeting, as a guest, and was horrified at the size of it, and the relative uselessness of the info given out. Nothing was from a parent's perspective - all just internally-driven blather.

She's got all sorts of ideas, and is prepared to make herself unpopular with the 'we've always done it this way' mob to get them done. She turned her previous school round from 'special measures' to 'good' in four years, so reckon she's shit hot.

I complained that no-one had shown any concern re DS's eye, suggested a meeting of how to deal with it, etc, and that I was in the middle of organising a transfer on medical grounds. She was horrified. She knew there was a boy in his class with a problem, and had asked the staff if it was sorted. They had said yes. Further profuse apologies.

And she's going to send me the email of the chair of the PTA (or, indeed, PITA)!

Quenelle Fri 06-Sep-13 13:11:56

Well done herbaceous. I second (third?) the above suggestions that you enquire about becoming a governor, if you have the time and energy.

I've put my name forward for the vacancy at DS's school but not heard anything else yet. I told them I would back out if anyone else was interested though, don't fancy an election.

Quenelle Fri 06-Sep-13 13:13:19

I meant to say, it sounds like your HT could do with some people on side if she's going to be fighting the 'we've always done it this way' types.

herby - Sounds like you'd make a good deputy to the new head wink. Failing that, the PTA or governors should do it!

stillhoping - glad it went well for you and DS. So sweet that you played 'schools' - bless him.

sparrowfart - sounds stressful! Maybe get a box near the front door to put everything in? Breakfast in bed sounds good envy

Well done mrspeewee - I can feel the relief coming through in your post!

Much better day for us here yey! No tears on drop off today <phew> and she got "star of the week" shock and got to bring the class bear home! I am so proud because this week has really challenged her. Now we have to think up some fun things to do with bear before Monday!

MrsWembley Sat 07-Sep-13 08:25:11

Oh god, it's not one of those bears you have to write a diary for, is it? We got one if those home once, from nursery. I'm hoping the reason I never saw it again wasn't to do with what I we wrote...

On a more positive note, pictures of DD are up on my profile. First time I've done anything on my profile and some of it was written whilst I was partaking of a glass or two of red, so apologies all round.wink

MrsWembley Sat 07-Sep-13 08:25:58

Oh, and it's really good news, THC, you must be feeling

Galena Sat 07-Sep-13 09:12:29

Oh, she looks very smart, MrsW. smile

Adikia Sat 07-Sep-13 16:27:18

She looks lovely MrsW.

poorbuthappy Sat 07-Sep-13 16:35:06

Quenelle, indeed we have all faced major changes over the past few months, but I am pleased to report that the twins have embraced school with gusto and are perfectly happy to go in with their older sister every morning.
I cried like a baby all day, even when my boss asked me if I was ok at around lunchtime I cried. doh!

Glad everyone else has survived the week!

Have to pay 4 days lunches for 3 kids next week: £22.60. gulp

Quenelle Sat 07-Sep-13 22:49:28

I hope it gets easier for you poorbut.

My boy is still waiting to get started. His first afternoon is still a week away. He tried all his uniform on last night and he looked so smart and grown up both DH and I got all emotional.

If I can work out how to do it I'll post a link to the pic. He looks so suave.

MrsWembley Mon 09-Sep-13 13:39:10

So, she's gone, seemed fine, got herself sorted and said 'bye-bye' like it was no big deal...

No tears from anywhere, though DP said he wasn't going to cry unless I did first.grin

sparrowfart23 Tue 10-Sep-13 11:29:34

poorbuthappy - poor you! Glad to hear the twins are enjoying school. I am still busy enough (what with mornings only at school) that I haven't started rattling around the house like a lonely pea, so haven't felt too sad yet.

MrsWembley that's great! I was commiserating with some of the mums in the playground yesterday about DCs going off without even saying goodbye! I said goodbye at the door today, and hovered to make sure she did her start-of-the-day routine (coat, bookbag in tray, water on her circle). grin

I have even started finding out some things about DD's day! She told me she had meatballs, noodles and cabbage OR green beans hmm for her lunch (first school dinner yesterday). We have a meeting teacher later today so hope to find out a little more.

honey86 Tue 10-Sep-13 11:41:05

my dd has just gone to full time school... it doesnt terribly upset me cos shes a bright girl, and absolutely blossomed at nursery so its good for her...
but i do feel very strange having a dead house all day im used to it being busy n noisyblush
but im due to pop with dc4 in 2 months so im using the extra time to myself to get shopping done and catch up on some shuteye smile

sparrowfart23 Tue 17-Sep-13 13:24:39

Just wondering how things went for Quenelle - think your boy must have started by now?

DD spent time on the "sad face" on her first full day. Teacher said she was really upset about it, so worked hard to get back onto "happy face", but still!!! DD does struggle sometimes when DH is away (he's gone for another two weeks sad ). Hopefully she is behaving today - she went in with a sore throat, so hope she isn't too crabby.

Quenelle Tue 17-Sep-13 16:24:53

Hi Sparrow. Yes, DS started afternoons only yesterday. He seems to really like it, although getting details out of him is like pulling teeth. He's only there for two hours though so not much time to do much.

Next week he's doing mornings which are nearly three hours.

Roll on Monday the 30th, when we can all get settled into a proper routine. I don't know if I'm coming or going with work and school runs this week.

herbaceous Wed 18-Sep-13 10:45:17

Hi there

Anyone else's full-time new starters a bit manic after school? I expected him to be knackered, and just want to watch a DVD, but he's so full of beans, wanting to paint, then play hide and seek, then do a show, then make me be a horsey for him to ride, blah blah. I'm knackered by his teatime! I'm wondering if he's just thoroughly overstimulated and fed-up with being 'good' for six hours, and needing to let off steam! Perhaps I should let him run about in a wood until bedtime...

sparrowfart23 Thu 19-Sep-13 19:42:25

Nope, my DD is going to bed two hours earlier than usual. However, she is sick at the mo, but is still doing her usual extracurricular activities. I would have kept her home yesterday, but she told me she wanted to go to school.

Running around in the woods sounds ideal. I am letting DD watch movies after school/during tea, just to keep her going! blush

Herbaceous, not a PFB more no so PLastB. DS started reception and is like a Tasmanian devil until about 6pm then he crashes.

Has the school done anything re training about your DS eye. FWIW my DD2 in yr1 has a girl in her class with what sounds similar to your DS and the teachers both this yr and last have had training on how to deal with her needs.

herbaceous Fri 20-Sep-13 11:17:11

I had to take him to Westfield yesterday after school, and was anticipating a number of tantrums, but with the bribery of a cupcake he was remarkably good! Getting him to stay in bed, however, was another thing altogether.

And yes, wheredidIputit, thanks for asking - after I ranted at the head teacher she rallied the troops and put a care plan in place. Two people are now trained to sort out his eye, and have even done it a few times.

I'm so very proud of him. When he went to school two weeks ago he was holding a pencil in his fist, and refused to write or draw as he 'couldn't do it right'. Now he's writing his own name, kind of, and drawing pictures of himself. And he's made three friends, and been invited to a birthday party! He trots in every morning without a backwards glance. <wipes tear>

MrsWembley Sun 22-Sep-13 20:35:12

Hello everyone, glad to hear tales of wonder and

My DD has settled in beautifully - we actually have a real life invitation to a play date tomorrow, with DS also invited as the other children coming also have siblings about his age, and I'm soooo excited for her!!!

However, I, too, have noticed a change in her behaviour outside of school. Others here have pointed out the maniacal state, a certain hyperactivity. Mine is exhibiting her change by having ma-hoo-sive tantrums at the slightest thing...

Apologies to anyone in John Lewis last Tuesday...blush

Quenelle Mon 23-Sep-13 12:46:46

DS has gone to a friend's to play this afternoon. Friend's mum took him home with her at pickup. This is a massive deal for me, it's the first time he's played at someone else's house without me or DH being there. But DS was unbelievably excited about it this morning, I could hear him singing to himself ' I'm going to [friend's] house todaaaay ' grin

With three whole hours at school this morning and then playing with best friend, I'm expecting a very tired DS later this afternoon.

sparrowfart23 Thu 26-Sep-13 09:26:46

Feeling a bit down today. There is a mood board in DD's classroom: 'how are you feeling today'. She put herself on worried, then when she saw all the other children were on happy, moved herself. sad I told her it's okay to feel worried sometimes. Then I settled her at her table and the other children were writing beautiful numbers while she wrote mostly squiggles and her name. I don't really mind, I praise the effort and know she will get there in her own time, but the other children were critiquing each other's work! I just kissed DD and whispered in her ear and left, but am feeling sad now.

Quenelle Thu 26-Sep-13 11:27:20

Sorry to hear that sparrowfart. Do you have a home-school book that you can write a note to the teacher in?

sparrowfart23 Thu 26-Sep-13 12:56:20

Hi Quenelle, not as such but I think I'll check in with teacher today after school. Teacher and TA know that DH has been away and that DD has been a bit sad at times this week.

DD is doing really well actually; she can be a bit 'lively' but she has been coping really well, and I am proud of her. I think deep down I am nervous that she will be behind her very able peers and I don't want her enthusiasm and confidence to be crushed. Sounds a bit wet when I put it like that but I suspect that's what got me down! I think I need to lighten up a bit!!

Quenelle Thu 26-Sep-13 13:06:35

We have a little notebook that lives in DS's bookbag. The teacher/TAs and parents use it for writing messages to each other. Very useful, simple and cheap.

It would be good if the teacher made a bit of a fuss of your daughter when she sees her doing something that she is good at, to give her confidence a boost. But I guess that would be teaching teacher how to suck eggs a bit...

MrsWembley Mon 30-Sep-13 22:41:54

Sorry, sparrow, can't remember if you mentioned before, but is your DD's school a one form entry or two?

MrsWembley Tue 01-Oct-13 08:15:02

Oh, ffs, only just coping with this milestone...

DD's got a loose tooth. I think I may cry now.

Quenelle Tue 01-Oct-13 12:13:45

How's your DD doing now Sparrow? Did you talk to her teacher?

MrsWembley loose tooth?! <faints>

DS went running up to his teacher when we went in this morning and I heard him say something like ‘Mrs X! Do you know…’ I didn’t hear the rest but I saw her laugh. I asked her and she said it was something about him and his mummy in bed...

I'm expecting a lot of 'family business' to be shared with the school from now on hmm blush

Adikia Tue 01-Oct-13 14:23:19

loose tooth already MrsW?! I think I'd cry too!

How are everyone's DC doing? hope everyone's settled in ok and made friends. I still can't believe how much my little baby girl has grown up since starting school!

MrsWembley Tue 01-Oct-13 14:24:15

I can't remember if it was someone here or on another thread, anyway, it was from a teacher, who said, 'don't believe everything your child tells you about us and we won't believe everything your child tells us about you...'

It bears repeating (a lot).grin

MrsWembley Tue 01-Oct-13 14:26:19

Hello, Adikia. <waves>

Yes, I really did nearly cry. Not a good feeling, not wanting your little girl to grow up.sad Of course I want her to, just not yet...

Adikia Tue 01-Oct-13 14:30:35

A few more years of them being little would be lovely wouldn't it? DD told me this mornng that she doesn't need to hold my hand anymore because she's old enough to walk propery and stay away from the road. sad I did try telling her that I needed looking after but i got told not to be stupid.

sparrowfart23 Wed 02-Oct-13 12:57:31

Hi all,
Sorry been a bit obsessed preoccupied with birthday preparations.

Quenelle I haven't specifically spoken to DD's teacher, as I decided I was probably worrying over nothing the other day. DD seems to be doing just fine and, talking to the other parents, is not the only one having a wee wobble now and then. DD's teacher is lovely, and very good at reassuring the children (and parents)!

Mrs W It's a two form entry. DD seems to have friends in both classes, and some older ones too, so at least I know she is mixing at playtime.

DD told me not to cry like a baby, Adikia - not that I was even crying!

sparrowfart23 Wed 02-Oct-13 13:02:30

Oh, and as an aside, I told my teacher that my mummy worked in a sweatshop when I was in primary school! grin grin Apparently that got a good laugh at the PTA meeting! blush

Also this grin

Quenelle Wed 02-Oct-13 13:30:46

I love that grin

Glad to hear it was just a little wobble sparrow.

MrsWembley Wed 02-Oct-13 19:10:24


Thank-you for that, sparrow!

And the reason I asked about the two-form entry is that in DD's school (I found out only last weekblush) the two classes are split by age.

sparrowfart23 Fri 04-Oct-13 00:38:06

You're welcome!! grin

In DD's school, they try to balance gender and age across the two groups, but I only know that because they told us at the open day.

I didn't have a clue what the letter codes on the home reading books were until another parent helpfully explained that the * books that their DS is on is the advanced group. hmm

On the way into school this morning, I heard one year one boy say to another (talking about DD, who'd run ahead thankfully) saying 'ooh look, there's your girlfriend'! shock

QuenellefireAndDamnation Mon 07-Oct-13 10:07:40

*Boastful Parent Alert* DS has been given the first of his class's Headteacher's Awards for Science, for his extensive knowledge of Space. (He does know a lot about Space and will tell anyone about it who'll listen.)

As usual on Friday evening, we asked DS what he did at school and his response as usual was "Nuffink!" He didn't mention having his photo taken for display in his classroom and the main foyer, or standing up in assembly to be given the award hmm confused grin

Sparrowfart I am definitely not ready for talk of girlfriends and boyfriends!

Adikia Mon 07-Oct-13 10:13:32

Wow! Well done to your DS Quenellefire!

QuenellefireAndDamnation Mon 07-Oct-13 10:24:32

Thanks Adikia.

The timing wasn't good. I had just finished telling him that I couldn't be at the Harvest Festival to hear him sing this afternoon because I had to work but so and so's mummy was going to send me a photo and tell me all about it. When I saw the award I'm afraid I welled up and got a bit sniffy sad

We'll make a big fuss of him tonight.

MrsWembley Mon 07-Oct-13 11:10:03

Oh my, that's fabulous!

Well done to the school, too, for having awards like this and at such an early stage in their education! What a great start.grin

QuenellefireAndDamnation Tue 08-Oct-13 11:22:05

It is great isn't it? The teacher put a copy of the picture with the caption underneath in his bookbag so we have it up on our kitchen wall now.

We also got home yesterday to find a postcard (space-themed) from the teacher saying what a great start DS had had to the term. She said he's very polite and thoughtful and great fun to teach.

I strongly suspect the postcards will have been paid for out of her own pocket too.

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