And so it begins..... facebook updates telling of glowing end of year reports

(98 Posts)
starterforeight Wed 10-Jul-13 21:09:05

Why do it ?

Tell your kids how proud you are of their effort and or achievement this academic year, let them show their grandparents/favourite auntie/whoever but bragging on facebook is truly vulgar (or "naff" if you prefer).

Don't get me wrong, my dc's reports indicate that they've had a good year but I'd rather stick hatpins in my eyeballs than update my facebook status accordingly.

JakeBullet Wed 10-Jul-13 21:14:14

I am starting to see this too, DS is autistic and is well behind his peers. However, he has made massive progress and I am so proud of him. I don't need to put it on FB either.

...and by "massive progress" I mean he has skewed all the school's results by going up a massive number of sub levels within two years of starting junior school. Unheard of apparently grin. the school actually have to explain the anomaly in their results.....and it's DSgrin

Portofino Wed 10-Jul-13 21:18:58

What's wrong with posting something on Fb saying you are proud of your dc whether that is coming top, or achieving something or just being proud of them? I think some people should just avoid FB tbh as it seems you are not allowed to post anything in case you upset someone. I only have my FRIENDS on FB so I am genuinely pleased for them if their kids are doing well, or they are having a lovely holiday, or their extension is going to plan....

caffeinated Wed 10-Jul-13 21:20:43

Lots of my friends do this and I assume they must think my kids are academic failures because I don't. My kids know I'm proud of them, posting it on Facebook is just to be smug. I judge all my friends that do it.

MadCap Wed 10-Jul-13 21:20:58

I don't I kind of put people who complain about this with those who complain about people who post their holiday snaps.

They're probably posting to share with granny, auntie, etc. Hide the post if it bothers you so much.

caffeinated Wed 10-Jul-13 21:23:13

Porto fair point. Maybe I should unfriend more people. Because the ones I really like are too classy to do it. I saw one 'friend' was buying her daughter a pair of louboutins to celebrate her getting all 5's in ks2 sats.

Mintyy Wed 10-Jul-13 21:24:42

People use facebook in different ways!

Mind you, I did have to tell a very proud Year 1 Dad I know that I didn't want to read his pfb's report when I bumped into him in the park (Dad was carrying it round in his pocket to show all and sundry grin).

VivaLeBeaver Wed 10-Jul-13 21:25:12

I have some fb acquaintances who only post infrequently but every single thing is to do with their kids grades, reports, special awards, karate results, ballet grades, etc. seriously, nothing else.

I'm tempted to put a status on saying that I'm so proud of 12yo dd for passing eight GCSEs and getting accepted to Cambridge. grin

VivaLeBeaver Wed 10-Jul-13 21:26:57

Now I love seeing people's holiday snaps. <nosy>

mumblechum1 Wed 10-Jul-13 21:27:24

I have some fb acquaintances who only post infrequently but every single thing is to do with their kids grades, reports, special awards, karate results, ballet grades, etc. seriously, nothing else.

You should feel sorry for people like that, they clearly live through their children and don't have a life of their own.

merrymouse Wed 10-Jul-13 21:28:09

Isn't that the problem with Facebook though?

I think children's reports are strictly of interest to family only. However, if you put it on Facebook you end up sharing with somebody you used to work with in 2009 who you haven't spoken to since they asked to be your friend.

caffeinated Wed 10-Jul-13 21:28:12

Viva I love holiday snaps too.

MadCap Wed 10-Jul-13 21:29:03

Caffeinated, what are your friends allowed to post about since anything positive is deemed crass?

Periwinkle007 Wed 10-Jul-13 21:29:48

if you don't like it then hide them from your news feed. I don't see why people can't post things about their kids, things they are doing or have achieved or their holiday snaps or whatever. if you don't like it don't read it. so what if it is boasting, if they are proud of it then what is wrong. it doesn't mean they judge others because they don't do it. I like to see how my friends kids are doing, some of my friends have kids who are in yr6 and whom I rarely get to see due to distances but I love to see their sports results, their funny quotes, their good SATS or whatever. I am really pleased for them. My children are unlikely to match their achievements when they are that age but that doesn't matter because they are my children and I am proud of them but I can be very pleased for my friends and their families. I just don't understand why it is a problem for some people.

Titsnteeth Wed 10-Jul-13 21:31:13

I don't like any type of facebrag, I know my cl

caffeinated Wed 10-Jul-13 21:32:29

I have a problem that use Facebook only to brag.

RegularVoltaire Wed 10-Jul-13 21:32:33

I like to hear what my friends children have achieved.

What I don't want to hear is that you're having chilli for dinner ...or that you've just cleaned the house from top to bottom ...or that you're soooooooooooo in love with your ikkle smoochy kins <vom>

But that you're children have won a medal/got a great report/won a talent contest? Yes, tell me - I love it!

Titsnteeth Wed 10-Jul-13 21:33:03

Whoops ! I know what my close friends kids are doing and yes we are all proud of our kids, not sure why some need to share it so much.

pooka Wed 10-Jul-13 21:34:04

I loathe it too - just as I loathe most Facebook posts where parents are addressing their preteen kids:

"A very proud mummy, well done darling josh for winning the 100m. I love you" when the child is 7. Fgs - the sentiment is fine, but I assume your DVD doesn't have a fb account, so just say it out loud TO HIM!

pooka Wed 10-Jul-13 21:35:45

I also like holiday photos, other photos, status updates about the person posting, news-y stuff.

The rest is bollocks.

caffeinated Wed 10-Jul-13 21:38:00

Well said pooka.

caffeinated Wed 10-Jul-13 21:39:41

Don't get me started on people that have a picture of their child as a profile pic. Picture with your child, absolutely. Picture solely of your child? No.

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Wed 10-Jul-13 21:43:11

I often post an update about what my dc's have been up to. Mainly so that all the uncles, aunts and cousins, that we don't see regularly but are all on Facebook, can see. I couldn't give a shiny shit if some random aquaintance wonders about it too. Clearly if you are fed up of seeing all these proud updates then I'm afraid you are probably the random aquaintance because they're obviously not meant for you. hmm

usualsuspect Wed 10-Jul-13 21:43:37

You know what, I will post what ever the hell I like on my FB.

Don't like it? defriende, it ain't hard.

usualsuspect Wed 10-Jul-13 21:44:15


pooka Wed 10-Jul-13 21:44:46

DVD? THink meant kid or ds or dd or some such.

noisytoys Wed 10-Jul-13 21:47:11

I don't care what any of my friends post on their Facebook, its their account they can do what they like with it. I won't post anything on my acc about DDs report because I like it to be just for her and family (I've posted on here bits about her though because its anonymous to most people)

Growlithe Wed 10-Jul-13 21:59:10

So, you don't like friends posting about their children. So defriend them. But then, what is going to annoy you next? Then after that cull, what next again?

Do this a few times, then see what you are left with. I bet it will be a lot more boring a news feed than when you started.

Really, you need to be more tolerant of people who are just into different things than you, and react in different ways than you do. You'll end up happier and more relaxed.

Arisbottle Wed 10-Jul-13 22:02:40

I love to hear that my friend's children are doing well, I am now sure why you would object .

AryaUnderfoot Wed 10-Jul-13 22:10:48

FB brags are no way near as irritating as MN threads titled 'DS achieved a 3c in October in Year 1 and is on lime level - is he doing ok?'

FatherSpodoKomodo Wed 10-Jul-13 22:19:49

Well I love to hear news from my friends - that's why I'm friends with them. So news about their day (good or bad) news about their kids, holidays, nights out etc.
If I didn't want to read about it I wouldn't be on there in the first place.

Which reminds me, I haven't put my school report post up yet. I wonder how many of my friends it will annoy.

AbbyR1973 Wed 10-Jul-13 22:21:02

Is it just academic achievements/reports/ exam results there is a problem with or is it objectionable to post about DC's music/ sporting/ extra-curricular achievements?

Personally I'm delighted to hear how well my friends children are getting on... why shouldn't they be proud of their DC's? I'd steer away from school gates conversations but FB is a place for me to share my news with my friends and family and to hear how they are getting on. I'm pretty certain in the pre-Facebook era that my parents used to write with family news to their dear friends in America who had known us as babies.

Portofino Wed 10-Jul-13 22:37:05

Going on threads today, anything positive on FB is "showing off". I think some people forget what FB is for. God knows my life is stressful enough, I don't want to log on FB and have dearth of shit. Some of my RL friends are having a hard time at the mo. I want to support them but don't mind having my wall interposed with mad cat videos and check ins at costa.

DeWe Wed 10-Jul-13 22:40:52

I like to hear how well my friends' dc have done. It's lovely that they're proud of them. I like to hear that one has surpassed himself and managed three level 6s in year 6. I also like to hear that another who has special needs managed to write their name for the first time at age 8yo. They're the sort of thing people don't tell you in rl for fear of being told they're boasting, and actually I love to hear of others' successes.

I don't mind holiday snaps either, I don't see them as boasty. Mind you I'm perfectly happy where we go in England on holiday, so maybe you feel different if you're jealous of where they go.

ShadeofViolet Wed 10-Jul-13 22:44:11

Its a sad world we live in if people cant celebrate achievements or enjoyments for fear of offending people.

My DS is not doing academically well at school (he has SN and lots of problems), but it doesnt mean I dont enjoy hearing about other people doing well. In the same way that I hope people dont roll their eyes when they read my status about DS eating a banana for the first time, or being able to write his name independently.

AryaUnderfoot Wed 10-Jul-13 22:53:14

my dc's reports indicate that they've had a good year

Which is more vulgar, telling your friends and family that your child has had a good year or telling a load of people that, quite frankly, don't give a shit?

BooksandaCuppa Wed 10-Jul-13 23:05:37

Share or don't share your dc's achievements, whatever. I'm more for the sharing than against it because it's nice to see your friends' dcs doing well, isn't it?

What I don't like is when someone has more than one child and only ever posts about one of them (yes, I'm looking at you, owner of a 9 year old ds who scores the winning goal for his football team every week - don't your 7 year dd or 11 year ds do anything ever? Are you sure not?)

Portofino Wed 10-Jul-13 23:05:51

One of my friends has a child who is undergoing diagnosis for SN. When she posts links to info say re. Dyspraxia and grows her knowledge that is a good thing right? I am allowed to be happy for her? And not judge her?

christinarossetti Wed 10-Jul-13 23:11:41

Tone and quantity are the ishooos for me.

Don't mind what other people write, but would rather stick pins in my eyes than put details of my children's reports on FB (unless ds's mentions that he's been sporting a wig of red ringlets all year which is a. true b. quite amusing imvho).

HomageToCannelloni Wed 10-Jul-13 23:16:19

The whole of society is built upon us displaying our successes to one another. That's what one puma ship, keeping up with the joneses, fashion, the house you live in, the car you drive, the pursuits you enjoy are all deeply linked to how we feel we stand in society and how we want others to perceive us. It's instinctive. If you hate it so much why not just unfriend them instead of being so grumpy and snobby about it?

I can predict which friends will post how amazing their kids are.
I don't like them much but sometimes friendships are linked or can be a but p


Political. Such as book club friends. I hate these posts too.

HomageToCannelloni Wed 10-Jul-13 23:17:04

One puma ship, honestly, this auto correct thing just gets upmanship is what I typed! grin

Portofino Wed 10-Jul-13 23:41:26

Who do you lot have as friends?

Growlithe Wed 10-Jul-13 23:41:55

Shattered really FB is the ideal place where, if a friendship really is 'political' (which in itself is the problem, not Facebook or a proud parent's updates), you can just hide that friend if they annoy you.

But an even better thing to do is not start being friends with them on Facebook. If I was in a book club, for instance, I just wouldn't accept any friends on Facebook as I often rant about politics and stuff on Facebook and I wouldn't do that in real life at a book club meeting.

starterforeight Thu 11-Jul-13 03:20:02

AryaUnderfoot I just knew that someone would take those 10 words out of context. You can't use them alone.... they formed a full explanatory sentence which is vastly different when quoted in full.

I also notice that you posted twice, once with an initial response followed up by a second post presumably intended to discredit my OP by selectively quoting an extract out of context to form a totally wrong impression.

My facebook friends list includes a large number of the dc's classmates mums/dads, it's an easy way to keep in touch, arrange nights out, share useful information via "Year X parents group"s etc, so these parents know the post will be seen by a large number their dc's classmates parents............

MidniteScribbler Thu 11-Jul-13 04:15:21

I don't have a problem with facebook friends posting about their achievements, their children's achievements or their dog's achievements.

But then again, I actually like my facebook friends.

merrymouse Thu 11-Jul-13 05:59:06

What is the etiquette of Facebook then?

If somebody asks to be your friend is it OK not to accept them if they are a perfectly nice person (somebody you met on a course who just wants to stay in touch) but you reserve Facebook for family?

Isn't it really offensive to de-friend people?

How do you work out what their Facebook expectations are?

If somebody at your book club says "Did you see my friend request? I'm sharing all the photos of my weekend at Hay on Wye on Facebook", How do you say in a nice way that you don't want to be their FB friend? (because you usually filter your political views in their presence, but not on FB)

I can also see a number of situations where you might play down parts of your life even to close friends, depending on what was happening in their lives.

To me, Facebook is a minefield.

Growlithe Thu 11-Jul-13 06:32:23

If Facebook is that much of a minefield to you, you shouldn't join.

It is really just a method of communication. It's not evil, it's just open. It's up to you how you use it. If you aren't an open person, it's probably not the site for you.

If you are that bothered by the politics of it all, there are ways to group your friends into close friends and acquaintances, so that you can target your updates accordingly.

If these updates are bothering you, you can change the settings of the particular friend within your own newsfeed to say you don't want all their updates, just to say 'important life events'.

You can also set up groups for, say, parents who want to share information, without having to personally become friends with everyone in the group.

Bunbaker Thu 11-Jul-13 06:46:07

I don't see it because none of my friends are twats, and I don't post on my wall anyway.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

merrymouse Thu 11-Jul-13 06:52:45

And that is why I almost never use it.

However, I can see that I'm not being over sensitive in thinking that people can be upset/offended and also that people are not filtering the information that they send out.

starterforeight - exactly re: other school parents. This is the kind of situation where I think you do need to think about your audience, and not over share.

martini84 Thu 11-Jul-13 07:04:40

Don't have a problem with these posts as such. However I think sometimes primary school reports are so positive anyway that it devalues the posts somewhat. Same with parent's evenings. And yes prople saying,things like " so proud of my little man" is a step too far.

MrsBungle Thu 11-Jul-13 07:13:25

I have no problem with people posting stuff like this on fb. I don't have a huge friends list - just people I'm actually friends with and I like hearing about all that they and their kids have been up to. All my family and loads of my friends are in Scotland and I'm not so it's an excellent way to keep in touch and share things.

I honestly think it's bloody miserable to be complaining about what people write on their fb if it's not offensive. De-friend, hide, you have options.

What Growlithe said. Why the hell have you got an account if it pisses you off so much? Why should your friends tailor their fb updates to suit you? They can't be very good friends if you have such a problem with them. I can't near fb whingers.

Growlithe Thu 11-Jul-13 07:16:10

martini but it is great that children have positivity in school, and proud parents at home. I think surrounding primary age children with positivity is a good thing.

What a great message for a child to be given a good report (even if everyone else has) and for their parents to be genuinely excited and proud of it, rather than a 'that's nice dear' and sticking it in a drawer.

differentnameforthis Thu 11-Jul-13 07:17:37

I share mine on fb because the rest of my family want to know how my girls are doing. I live in Australia, so it is easier to share that way than send a dozen ind emails etc.

Quite bluntly, op...people really need to stop moaning about what people post on fb. It's like going into someone's home & telling them they can't put certain pictures on their is a personal space that you are invited to be a part of, don't like it? Stay off facebook!

merrymouse Thu 11-Jul-13 07:26:41

Many people have got into all sorts of difficulties by believing that social media is a personal space.

HoneyDragon Thu 11-Jul-13 07:29:12

Facebook isn't a minefield at all. Just accept some people feel the need to critique and sneer and that they can do this in the privacy of their own home and it affects you in no way what so ever. Then post what you damn well please.

I have heard no documented cases ever of people being forced to be on or read face book at gun point ever, son post what you like and assume people can always. Not read it.

merrymouse Thu 11-Jul-13 07:36:22

"Just accept some people feel the need to critique and sneer"

or you may be blindly and unintentionally posting something that is insensitive, in a way that you wouldn't if you were talking to all your FB 'friends' face to face.

I think a child's school report is strictly family and very close friends. It's not something that needs to be posted for general information to the other parents in your child's class. (As in the OP's example). If you wouldn't say it to somebody's face, don't say it in social media.

evertonmint Thu 11-Jul-13 07:46:00

FFS being on Facebook is not a passive thing tailored to tour own personal requirements by magic. If you dislike what somebody does you have to do something about it - defriend/hide/leave. I have 200 friends on there - even if I felt I should (which I don't) I couldn't possibly think through what everyone might want to see and who has stupid ishoos before I post. So I post and assume they will defriend (they have), hide (I assume they have) or enjoy (they do) to suit them. My page is my responsibility. Your response to it is not. So sort your own page out and stop bitching about it on MN. FFS.

Of course, this doesn't apply to Twitter and I'll happily bitch and moan with you about the twats on there if you want grin

MirandaWest Thu 11-Jul-13 07:53:06

I put that I'm proud of my DC when I get their reports. I am not a gushy type at all but I put it on there as I like to let friends know about it. And I seem to get people liking it so either they do or someone is holding a gun to their head.

I sometimes post about the minutiae of my life - this especially pleases my mum who only has about 4 friends so whatever I do looms quite large for her grin.

And when I post something about me it is about me. I do not keep a record of which friends do or don't post what dentils about their DC. I don't assume it means anything tbh - each person can post what they like and it is up to them.

sydlexic Thu 11-Jul-13 07:54:20

If all a person is guilty of is being proud of their DC, and showing them they are pleased, then I think that we can forgive them. How many of us lacked parental approval and would have been delighted if our parents announced to the world how wonderful we are?

Growlithe Thu 11-Jul-13 08:07:01

I actually have a friend who told me she didn't like reading about friend's holidays and trips out on FB because she was jealous. I know she wouldn't defriend anyone because she is also very nosey.

Should I tailor my updates in case she gets jealous of something I'm saying or doing. Of course not. Those traits are hers to sort not mine to avoid.

MrsMelons Thu 11-Jul-13 09:05:37

I never put any specifics on my fb status, DS1 is very academic so people apparently do not hear that so I only discuss with family, friends and MN grin

I am really proud if DS1 and sometimes I feel envious when people post about their DCs achievements as I just don't feel comfortable doing that in case someone doesn't like it.

HoneyDragon Thu 11-Jul-13 09:20:44

I agree with that, but I think that someone would equally say something insensitive without looking to see who's around them too.

My friends and I opened our school reports together as we were at my house, a lot of other parents will open and read them in the playground and compare. Some don't.

It's the same on face book. Some post some don't.

But it's not vulgar nor is it naff to do so.

Last night I posted on FB that I was proud of dd1 after receiving her sats results, I am bloody proud of her and want to sing it from the rooftops. If that offends anyone on my friends list they can feel free to delete me :D

Crunchymunchyhoneycakes Thu 11-Jul-13 09:40:37

I think sometimes people get so caught up in their own situation that they think everything is about them. People aren't posting AT you, it is about how they feel and is really nothing to do with you. If you think it's vulgar and naff then don't do it. Other people don't think that clearly so it makes sense that they do.

I kind of wonder why some people are on facebook when it is such a source of self inflicted angst for them.

MrsMelons Thu 11-Jul-13 09:41:09

I think it is fine to post how proud you are but to put levels is possibly going too far as it would worry me that someone who's child didn't do so well would be upset.

I don't think it should actually matter though! !!

Crunchymunchyhoneycakes Thu 11-Jul-13 09:41:42

Also - don't compare your insides to other people's outsides, most people use facebook to share their good news it doesn't mean there is no problems in their lives.

Growlithe Thu 11-Jul-13 09:50:21

See I'm reading MrsMelons post and thinking what a shame she is made to feel like she can't talk about being proud of her child's achievements. Who is anyone to take that away from her.

As well as that, I'm made up for Portlys daughter, even though I don't know her. I love to hear someone doing well.

My mum wouldn't tell anyone I was doing well in school. She said she didn't like to brag. It might have done me some good if she had because I was so insecure in other ways it would have been a chance to big me up a bit.

littlemiss06 Thu 11-Jul-13 09:55:14

I don't see anything wrong with sharing how proud you are of your children on facebook, infact I love reading everyone's statuses, theyre not doing any harm and I for one will also be posting about my children when I get their reports because I love sharing with my family and friends.

Growlithe Thu 11-Jul-13 09:59:24

The shrouding of levels in secrecy isn't necessarily a good thing either. You may think your child is doing ok against expected attainment targets, but if the whole class is two sub levels above him wouldn't you want to know about that so you could address it?

MrsMelons Thu 11-Jul-13 10:06:58

It may just be me being daft but parents were quite nasty when he was moved up a year in Y1 as they said it wasn't fair on their DCs so I realised quickly not yo discuss.

I definitely won't share this on FB and have only told family and v.close friends but he has won an academic scholarship to his junior school and I am so proud of him as he has done it with no extra work and just being him in an average state infant school. I am so proud I could burst and want to shout from the rooftops.

Growlithe Thu 11-Jul-13 10:15:53

MrsMelons that is brilliant and you should be shouting it from the roof tops. grin

Would anyone really not want to read that news from one of their friends on Facebook? It's great news. Well done the boy Melons. smile

merrymouse Thu 11-Jul-13 10:16:40

I have 200 friends on there - even if I felt I should (which I don't) I couldn't possibly think through what everyone might want to see and who has stupid ishoos before I post.

Except presumably these people have a real presence in your life as colleagues and acquaintances, even if not close friends.

You might be able to unfriend somebody on Facebook, but not so easy to make somebody vanish in real life.

Labootin Thu 11-Jul-13 10:16:43

The only FB statuses that annoy me are the blatantly untrue ones.
I know (the mother showed me the report as she was going to "tackle the teacher" .. not the child ) her son had a horrendous report (behaviourally and academically) yet the mother still posted that day how proud she was of her darling **ie for "yet another brilliant report".

The majority of FB is pure bullshit.

(I do post holiday photos though)

differentnameforthis Thu 11-Jul-13 10:20:58

Many people have got into all sorts of difficulties by believing that social media is a personal space.

It's a personal space as in it belongs to that person. I'm not getting into the whys & wherefores of privacy etc, because that isn't what I mean.

I mean that my facebook is MY space. Anyone I add gets invited to see MY personal stuff. In which case, they need to respect that I get to post what I want to my space & if they don't like, it is up to them to do something about it, because I don't see why I should censor my page for their taste.

To me, that would be like redecorating my house because a friend doesn't like it.

differentnameforthis Thu 11-Jul-13 10:22:55

If you wouldn't say it to somebody's face, don't say it in social media

I do this, if I don't want people to know something, see something, I keep it to myself.

afussyphase Thu 11-Jul-13 10:23:58

I like google+ for this. I can make a 'circle' of people who I think want to see endless pics of me and the kids - family plus anyone who has asked, usually close old friends overseas. Likewise for anything aimed mainly at grandma who obviously will be very happy hearing how well my DC read and jump and bike and blah blah blah. Colleagues can get ones about a new paper that's interesting or how I used blah blah tool to do blah thing at work. So much nicer. I never post on FB and this thread is partly why: there's always someone who it's really not aimed at on there, no matter what it is, unless it's total trite trivia (in which case I don't want to post it anyway).

GibberTheMonkey Thu 11-Jul-13 10:31:48

I like to hear about my friends lives, the good stuff and the bad. They're my friends after all

I mean I could say I'm proud of ds1 for his outstanding exam results (he's way ahead of his peers)
I also could post I'm incredibly proud of my dd who has just grasped how to read (and is two years behind her peers)
If anything I'm prouder of her because she's had to work so hard to get to where she is. Should my posting about her make other people feel crap? I doubt it because their kids are probably ahead of her but they're my friends so they post positive messages because they know her fight and are proud of her too.
I'm the same with their children.

If you can't be pleased for your friends then I think you need to question whether they really are friends.

Growlithe Thu 11-Jul-13 10:35:38

afussyphase you can set up FB in exactly the same way.

I don't because I feel that if you know me you know me. I'm too old to work out which circle of friends I can say what to.

I also get rid of people on there who annoy me regularly. I hardly ever friend request and I accept requests on the basis of they've come to me so can't dictate what I am allowed to say.

MrsMelons Thu 11-Jul-13 11:55:38

Aw thanks Growlithe, I am possibly over thinking it but also some of my friends on FB will be in his class in September so I didn't want to cause an issur. Presumably they will find out at some point which will probably cause an issue anyway as I haven't told them grin

MrsMelons Thu 11-Jul-13 11:59:51

Gibber - you are right, I do actually feel that some of my so called friends have funny attitudes and would not actually be happy about me saying certain things, its just the way they are.

I am wondering if I should spend less time worrying about it and do as I please though!

Periwinkle007 Thu 11-Jul-13 12:27:10

Mrs Melons - post what you like. I try to be a little bit careful so I don't sound too boastful but I am proud of my daughters and what they are achieving in their little lives but i don't see why I shouldn't say I am impressed she has read her first chapter book in case someone else doesn't like it.

MrsMelons Thu 11-Jul-13 12:37:26

I know you are all right but I worry about what people think about lots of things.

I am just trying to imagine what I would think if some posted on FB 'So proud of DS for being awarded a scholarship to X school'. I actually think I would be straight on there saying well done.

It does seem odd that it is fine to put on sporting achievements but not academic ones! DS2 came 1st in the dressing up race - I was so porud and put a photo on FB of him with his 1st place sticker!

Periwinkle007 Thu 11-Jul-13 12:57:38

my daughter doesn't do well at sports days at all. I am genuinely pleased for my friends be it their child getting excellent results, a head teachers award, scoring a goal, being picked for a team, passing an exam, learning to ride a bike, doing well at sports day, spelling test, learning to tie a bow, whatever it is. and I would hope my real friends would be pleased for my children with similar things. Mine won't be winning scholarships, doing well at sports or anything I don't think but they have their achievements which I am proud of.

Taffeta Thu 11-Jul-13 13:16:08

It's so NOT OK to put sporting achievements on there. Or to discuss them in RL. I speak as a parent of a v sporty child. I can't discuss it anywhere.

And that's fine, TBH.

MrsMelons Thu 11-Jul-13 13:19:23

Really Taffeta? Why not, I always thought winning at sports and talking about it is ok (I don't as mine are not exceptional at any sport).

That seems such a shame.

MrsMelons Thu 11-Jul-13 13:19:40

Tell us here grin

Taffeta Thu 11-Jul-13 13:25:18

No way! DS has lost friends over this. sad

MrsMelons Thu 11-Jul-13 13:44:40

that is awful Taffeta angry I would have thought other children would think sports achievements to be 'cool'. DS1 gets nasty comments from his 'friends' sometimes but mainly at infant school age they are fascinated by his reading etc. DS1 definitely thinks people who are good at sport are 'awesome'!

Elibean Thu 11-Jul-13 14:18:16

I don't like FB much. Very useful for certain specific times/things/people, occasionally, so I do have a page.

And no problem with others using and liking it.

But I can't imagine finding time or energy to post about my kids day to day life, or mine, on it!

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dirtyface Thu 11-Jul-13 15:53:57

I only have my FRIENDS on FB so I am genuinely pleased for them if their kids are doing well, or they are having a lovely holiday, or their extension is going to plan....

me too.

i am one of the ones the OP would be annoyed by. my eldest got a brill report and i just couldn't resist telling fb blush

I have a friend who just posted how proud she is of her oldest daughter's YR school report. This friend had a really hard time with her DD1 during the toddler years - lots of acting up to get attention, full of beans, wouldn't listen to Mummy or Daddy or respond to time-out discipline, and my friend had to put up with a loooot of criticism about the way her DD1 behaved. Posting that her DD1 got a glowing school report this year isn't really parental smuggery; it's more like showing her critics (who are mostly well-meaning, but completely insensitive relatives) that her DD1 is not a hell-demon destined for jail and is actually turning out okay.

I posted one of DSD's sporting achievements on FB recently, myself. It is nice once in awhile to communicate good news about DSD's efforts, rather than lament about her reading and math.

TBH, I don't really care if my FB friends don't want to read about it. There are newsfeed settings that they can learn to use. wink

everlong Thu 11-Jul-13 16:35:07

I'm over the moon with ds5 report. It's wonderful and he's done really well. For him. Not level 3 like some of his class ( sats ) but he's made fab progress.

But I wouldn't put it on fb. I'm not sure why. I think when I see others do it it makes me cringe. I know they're proud etc but it's showing off.

Tell the kid how fab they are, that's all.

Growlithe Thu 11-Jul-13 17:47:08

I also wonder how we would feel if we could look back on our own parents' newsfeed and find little bursts of pride about our own childhood achievements.

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