Bit annoyed with teacher over spellings

(105 Posts)
MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 20:14:56

I know its trivial and I probably need to be told to get a grip but I was a bit surprised by what happened at pick up earlier.

Yr4 child has spelling test tomorrow - so I always check when he comes out of school on a wednesday that he has his spellings so we can double check he knows them tonight.

So he comes out without them - I send him back in to get them from his desk. He comes out and tells me he's not allowed to get them.

I assume he's got the wrong end of the stick so go down to his classroom - his teacher is at the door and I ask if I could get his spellings. Teacher says 'I've already told him its not a good time he should have asked earlier so he'll just have to try his best'.

I said ok and walked away but am a bit annoyed.

I know DS should be more organised but really would it have been so hard to grab his spellings from his desk?

Go on tell me she is absolutely right and I'm being totally precious I can take it wink

Will add that spellings not his forte so he really does need to practice them a lot.

Oh and should add the school pride themselves on parents being able to have chats with teachers at pick up so I wasn't breaking any rules.

Coconutty Wed 06-Mar-13 20:17:12

What was she doing? Did she have a parent in with her? So far I am on your side!

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 20:20:53

No parents. She was just letting children go to either their parents or after school clubs.

If he was only given one night to learn the spellings then YANBU.

If he has had all week to learn them, then YAB a bit less R.

mrz Wed 06-Mar-13 20:21:27

The teacher said "it's not a good time" so perhaps it wasn't a good time and it wasn't possible for him to go back in the classroom at that time (meeting?)

uberalice Wed 06-Mar-13 20:23:07

Could you contact the parent of another child in his class and get them to tell you the spellings?

TheChaoGoesMu Wed 06-Mar-13 20:23:09

If she wasn't having a meeting then I think she was being unreasonable.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 20:25:36

He has had all week - so yes I agree he should be more organised but its just I like to test him the night before - quite a bit of homework the other nights. But I have told him again he needs to bring them home earlier.

No meetings or anything - its literally the other children being let out of the classroom so were still quite a few children still in the classroom.

I often get emails from other parents requesting the list of spellings the night before the spelling test, so your son is obviously not the only one to do this.

Next time, I'd recommend getting him to copy the spellings into a notebook at home on the first evening he is given the list. This will help him to learn them and also means you have the list at home in case he leaves the list at school on subsequent evenings.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 20:26:59

I do know its not a massive deal but I was just quite surprised by her attitude I guess. Oh well perhaps it will teach him a lesson to be more organised.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 20:28:44

Good idea threebeeonegee.

Thanks everyone for responding smile

Wish it wasn't parent's evening tomorrow now though - she'll have me down as 'one of those parents' wink

BoringTheBuilder Wed 06-Mar-13 20:33:29

It's a shame she is putting a child off practicing spellings because he forgot to take it earlier
I guess she is perfect in every single way......

mrz Wed 06-Mar-13 20:36:40

MrsCampbellBlack so you know that she didn't have someone waiting to speak to her?

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 20:37:37

I'm going to assume she was having a bad day and I caught her at a bad time.

BoringTheBuilder Wed 06-Mar-13 20:41:52

Even if there was someone waiting, how long would it take for the child to get it? 5 seconds?

mrz Wed 06-Mar-13 20:43:51

and then we would have a thread from a parent who was kept waiting by a teacher who let a pupil into the room hmm

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 20:49:41

look I am not anti-teacher. My middle child has the most wonderful teacher and my eldest's teacher last year was amazing.

This is perhaps the problem to be honest. We've gone from the most wonderful teacher to the not so wonderful teacher.

OP, I think you would come across as the supportive parent who is interested in helping her child learn his spellings...

Hulababy Wed 06-Mar-13 21:02:19

I would assume there was a genuine reason why it was not a good time.

Agree also that it is a good idea to get your ds to write down the spellings at home when he first gets them. It's a good way of practising them too.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:07:43

I really don't think there was a good reason - I suspect she'd had a bad day. But the structure of the end of day is that children are either signed out to parents or they go onto the playground until the after-school clubs start.

But yes he does need to be more organised.

Bajas Wed 06-Mar-13 21:12:07

In many schools Wednesday is staff meeting/ key stage meeting/ dept meeting day. It's certainly been the case in both schools I've worked in.
She may have been trying to hurry the remaining children out to make it to a meeting on time.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:15:10

I get that but its really not the case here. Their day ends at 3.30pm but they're lucky to be out by 3.40pm and late care doesn't commence until 4pm and no meetins would occur till then at the earliest as the head of that section is on playground duty till 4pm each day.

I don't think she had a good reason other than she'd had a bad day and wanted to teach DS to be more organised which I guess is fair enough.

goingmadinthecountry Wed 06-Mar-13 21:17:04

I must be a nice teacher. Can't see any reason for a child not to be allowed back to get something quickly from tray - other parents would have to wait and there's always a gap before meetings. Can personally see no reason not to keep on side with parents re learning spellings.

mrz Wed 06-Mar-13 21:18:37

You don't know the reason only that she told both you and your son that it wasn't a good time ... surely that should tell you something.

Really your DS was at fault here.

He should have taken his spellings home when he was given them, not the night before the test.

Give the teacher a break. You don't know what she may have been dealing with.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:19:48

I think you must be a very nice or sensible teacher Goingmadinthecountry smile

REmember she;'s had your DS since 9am, this may have been the last straw for her with him. You don't know the full story.

heggiehog Wed 06-Mar-13 21:24:54

Hmm...teachers don't usually say it's not a good time unless it genuinely isn't.

Teachers have to deal with all sorts of things that parents never see or know about. You can't judge the situation based only on what you could see.

mrz Wed 06-Mar-13 21:25:06

and I must be a really nasty teacher because I wouldn't let anyone back in the room if there was a private meeting taking place. But then I can't see the usefulness of giving spellings to learn.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:26:23

Well no I don't - but he's not a particularly tricksy boy. Although I guess all will be revealed at parent's evening tomorrow.

And she didn't say - look he's been very naughty today. It was simply 'its not a good time'.

I don't know - I do feel annoyed. I try to support the school, I read with my children, I ensure homework is done, I test on tables, spellings etc and I really very rarely bother the teachers at all.

This teacher's class is small, the children are I suspect not too difficult to teach and yet - going to his desk, grabbing his spellings whilst other chilren were in the classroom was just too much. Ho hum.

penguinplease Wed 06-Mar-13 21:28:23

I don't get why you accepted it and walked away. I had similar with my DD, teacher was rude to her about spellings so I went in and she attempted to be rude to me in the same way. I very politely pointed out that yes I agree the timing was bad, we shouldn't have left it so late etc but the fact was we needed them for the test and so surely sending my dd away with a flea in her ear was counter productive.
Yes she may have been pissed off with my dd by then and had an awful day but quite frankly they are still teachers and still working until the last child has gone so tough shit, every day in my job is shit but I still do what I have to do to get the best out of everyone.

you don't have to accept it if a teacher is rude or dismissive of you, I am never rude back but I certainly won't be spoken to like I'm a child.

YANBU to be annoyed but you are silly to have walked away when you could have just sorted it.

clam Wed 06-Mar-13 21:33:20

It does sound a bit unnecessary to me - as you say, it wouldn't have taken a minute and it was for a good cause, wanting to learn spellings.

But that said, there must have been some reason, even if it's not immediately obvious from the outside. Can't think of any off the top of my head, however.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:33:31

Penguin - you know you are quite right. I am really annoyed with myself. I should have been more assertive.

I think I was just so shocked as just didn't expect that reaction.

heggiehog Wed 06-Mar-13 21:33:46

"I don't know - I do feel annoyed. I try to support the school, I read with my children, I ensure homework is done, I test on tables, spellings etc and I really very rarely bother the teachers at all. "

With respect, what does any of that have to do with this situation? You don't KNOW why the teacher wouldn't let him in.

heggiehog Wed 06-Mar-13 21:35:41

"but quite frankly they are still teachers and still working until the last child has gone"

And for several hours after the last child has gone...but yes, they ARE still working, which means this teacher may have had something else that they had to do?

I've had times when parents have come in to speak to me and it really has been an AWFUL time because of child protection issues, other meetings etc, but they just don't GET IT and I can't break confidentiality rules to ensure they do. I'd rather they just trust me when I say it's not a good time.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:36:25

As an aside - the other teacher of that year is amazing, fun, caring and very very good. She also teaches the middle groups which my son sits in.

He said to me tonight - I don't even want to be in the top groups as I'd have my class teacher. Which as a parent is a pretty sad thing to hear.

Now DH thinks I need to raise this - should I????

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:38:33

With respect heggiehog - I really fail to see what allowing my son to grab his spellings form his desk which would have taken all of 10 seconds could interfere with anything.

As I've already said - at this school - teachers have children milling round their classrooms until 4pm each day. This was 3.35pm. I very much doubt there was a pressing child protection issue she was just making a point.

fouranddone Wed 06-Mar-13 21:39:18

She said your son couldn't get his spellings, not you. If a teacher said this to me I would have had no qualms about pushing past and retrieving the spellings myself. She doesn't own the bloody classroom! But then I'm one of 'them' mothers wink

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:40:23

And if she'd said I have a meeting that would have been fine - but she didn't say that and I really truly don't believe she did have at that time.

I have a good knowledge of how the school operates and I really am far from being a tricksy parent. What I said about reading etc was to try to convey that I am supportive of the school and the teachers.

penguinplease Wed 06-Mar-13 21:40:58

Yes heggiehog maybe you are right but also maybe I'm right. Either way a little more explanation or the offer of an alternative way to get the spellings would have been a bit more professional than just sending both child and mother away with a non descript answer and as the OP points out there was no obvious reason it was not possible.

We could speculate on all the reasons but my guess is fucked off teacher and son of OP being the one who loses out in the long run.

penguinplease Wed 06-Mar-13 21:43:50

fouranddone - I am also one of "them" , I am never rude but I am not spoken down to or intimidated by the teachers as some parents are. Nor do I stand and bitch about the school/teachers in the playground. If I have a problem I go in and I sort it out.

heggiehog Wed 06-Mar-13 21:46:31

"Either way a little more explanation or the offer of an alternative way to get the spellings would have been a bit more professional "

Nope, sorry, if it's a child protection issue then the school does not owe you an explanation of any kind.

Honestly I know that sounds far-fetched but having been in some of these situations before myself I really wish the parents had just accepted "it's not a good time" and not hassled me about it.

heggiehog Wed 06-Mar-13 21:48:20

"With respect heggiehog - I really fail to see what allowing my son to grab his spellings form his desk which would have taken all of 10 seconds could interfere with anything."

I don't really understand either but as I've said a few times now, parents aren't always aware of the whole situation and I know there have been times when parents have been cross with or criticised me for unavoidable situations or times when I couldn't help them because I was busy dealing with something else.

Just to the teacher. Don't judge them until you know the whole situation.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:51:11

Look seriously there was no child protection issue. Other children were in the classroom as they are every day getting ready for one of the very many after school clubs until 4pm.

fouranddone Wed 06-Mar-13 21:51:35

Exactly I'm not rude or bitchy to the teachers, however I stand up for my children and if there's a problem then we go and see the teacher and try and sort it out ASAP. I just can't ever imagine any of my children's teachers saying no your not coming in to get your spellings, tough luck!hmm

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:52:49

And as I've said this really is not a teacher bashing thread. But I do feel in this instance the teacher was unreasonable. But hey that'll learn him wink

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 21:54:21

And I will talk to the teacher tomorrow at parent's evening when its hopefully a better time smile

And really thanks for all comments - I knew I was being a bit precious really.

heggiehog Wed 06-Mar-13 21:55:01

"Look seriously there was no child protection issue. Other children were in the classroom as they are every day getting ready for one of the very many after school clubs until 4pm."

You cannot possibly know that based on that information.

If the teacher is a jerk then they deserve your criticism I suppose but it's not always a black and white situation.

penguinplease Wed 06-Mar-13 21:56:27

I don't think you were being precious.. and yes I would mention it - not in a confrontational way but just to get it out of your own head.

clam Wed 06-Mar-13 21:59:37

I'm a teacher and I really can't imagine any thing so "pressing" that I wouldn't allow a child back into the classroom when there were still other children faffing about and leaving the room.

That said, I'd take serious issue with anyone pushing past me and barging into my, yes "my," classroom as fouranddone suggests. hmm

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 22:00:48

Oh my goodness Heggie. Look - the class finished at 3.30pm but all the children don't leave the class till 4pm.

My DS went back at 3.35 - I went in a couple of minutes later. There were still many children in the classroom getting changed etc for fencing whatever. Really the 10 secs it would've taken to grab his spellings would not have interfered with anything. Its the same set-up every single day of the week. Late care etc continues unitl 5.30pm.

I'm not saying the teacher is a jerk - I'm assuming she'd had a bad day but I was annoyed as the end result is we didnt' have the spellings for me to test him the night before the test.

I know this really isn't a big deal - I really do. But I was just disappointed in her attitude.

fouranddone Wed 06-Mar-13 22:03:33

Clam, not your classroom no. The room is part of the school and contains my sons work. I would be having a serious chat with the ht if my child's teacher refused me entry 5 mins after class had finished to retrieve forgotten homework!

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 22:04:01

Clam - I would never push past. Really I prefer to work with teachers and generally have a very good relationship with all the staff.

And you know I have 2 other children at this school - I am not interested in making enemies wink

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 22:04:55

Suddenly has the fear the teacher is on here.

ipadquietly Wed 06-Mar-13 22:05:29

???? shock
Why can't you just accept that it was a bad time for her? That's what she said, so why doubt her?

Just accept that she was busy/had an urgent appointment either in school or out/ was worried about something/ had had words with ds earlier about remembering things/ had to rush off because a member of her family was ill / had to meet with a parent/SENCO, .......

There are a whole host of reasons for her saying it was a 'bad time', and it seems to me that you're being disrespectful to insinuate that she's lying.

What are you going to gain by mentioning this to her? Are you expecting her to come clean and admit that she was just being awkward, or are you expecting a full explanation of why it was such a bad time with details of her personal/ professional obligations?

exoticfruits Wed 06-Mar-13 22:06:31

There are some very strange reactions on here! The barging past leaves me a bit shocked! If she said it wasn't a good time there must have been a reason- maybe she had a weeping parent in there, maybe the room was being used for a confidential meeting - there could be any number of reasons.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 22:08:24

I am expecting her to let my son get his spellings when there were still other children in the classroom who wouldn't be leaving it for quite a while.

Did you not read the thread ipad?

I wasn't asking to talk to her, get her to test him, just to let him walk 10 paces to his desk and remove the list from his desk.

I don't know - perhaps you're right and that was totally unreasonable and she wasn't just being awkward.

exoticfruits Wed 06-Mar-13 22:09:14

It also shows me why I wouldn't want to be a Head when parents go storming off to see them over totally trivial matters.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 22:09:32

There were no weeping parents, there was no meeting. There were many children in the classroom as there are every day until 4pm - getting ready for the after school clubs at the school.

Am I typing in invisible ink wink

penguinplease Wed 06-Mar-13 22:10:08

but how can the teacher justify "its a bad time" without offering some kind of alternative and if there were other children in the class how does that statement actually work?

Its a bad time for all the reasons you list can't really be the case here as what difference would it make if she pointed out to the parent where to get the spellings. When I had to go in and do this for my DD I had to write them down and take them away. Took me 2 mins max. Other kids in the class. Teacher left the room. Problem sorted.

Also why not mention it? Can't the teacher make sure the kids have their spelling lists as part of the process of giving them out. Assuming its not a frequent issue for OP and her son I still stand by thinking the teacher was just being an arse. Yes they have lots of issues it could have been but shock horror some of them are just fuckers and thats that.

penguinplease Wed 06-Mar-13 22:11:14

FWIW I expect the ht to deal with all matters whether they appear trivial to one person is not necessarily the case for others.

fouranddone Wed 06-Mar-13 22:12:06

The OP has stated several times there were:
No child protection issues/discussions

No weeping parents

No meetings

The classroom was still half full with children, on that fact alone the teacher couldn't be hurriedly heading off anywhere. So no that was not a good enough explanation for 10 sec in the classroom to collect spellings. Everyone has bad days but why should OP's son miss out? Will he get any punishment if he gets a low score on his spelling test? Will he have to sacrifice his break time to sit it again?
Very, very unfair!

The last time ds1 had to pop back for something he'd forgotten his teacher gave him sweets to give to his younger brother!

Sorry, totally irrelevant!

Sounds like the teacher was in a mood and you and your ds got the brunt of it.

Hulababy Wed 06-Mar-13 22:12:16

If a parent pushed me out of the way of a classroom , especially whilst I had children in my care, then it would be me having a serious chat with the ht!!!

exoticfruits Wed 06-Mar-13 22:12:35

Which is precisely why I wouldn't want to be a Head penguin .

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 22:13:40

Umm when did I say I was going to storm off to the head. I will address it tomorrow at parent's evening in a nice way.

DS has been at this school for 6 years and I've never once felt the need to escalate anything to the Head but the bottom line is I want my DS to learn his spellings.

Hulababy Wed 06-Mar-13 22:14:25

"Will he get any punishment if he gets a low score on his spelling test? Will he have to sacrifice his break time to sit it again?"

TBH if he does then there is more to worry about than a teacher not letting the child return to the classroom isn't there?

I really do wish spelling tests would be scrapped entirely from schools. They serve very little educational value as it, but many parents believe them to be such a massive deal.

exoticfruits Wed 06-Mar-13 22:14:32

Unless the teacher comes on we haven't a clue. The most likely explanation is crossed wires and her not understanding what he wanted .

penguinplease Wed 06-Mar-13 22:15:17

me too, nor would I want to be a teacher.. but seriously I think it was a bit shit and can totally see why OP was perplexed.

I would love to see a parent in my local school actually care enough about their kids to barge anywhere but thats a whole different thread..

exoticfruits Wed 06-Mar-13 22:15:28

Lots of schools have realised they are a waste of time. They can learn them, get full marks and forget them.

fouranddone Wed 06-Mar-13 22:15:54

Hula baby if the teacher wasn't been such a prat then I wouldn't need to 'storm' off to the ht with my 'trivial' matter!

ipadquietly Wed 06-Mar-13 22:16:36

penguin Let's assume that this teacher isn't a fucker and actually wanted all children out quickly because she was in a hurry to go somewhere. She didn't want anyone back in, because that would mean extra delay.

I suspect she was saying no to the OP's ds because he always takes his spellings home at the last minute, and as the OP has said, needs to organise himself without weekly prompts from his mother.

And as for taking all matters to the ht - where do you think the ht gets all the information from about a child?

Hulababy Wed 06-Mar-13 22:16:47

exoticfruits - exactly! Complete waste of time. My school doesn't do them at all.

exoticfruits Wed 06-Mar-13 22:17:09

Luckily I have never had a parent barge past me when they have been on asked not to - I think it is pretty unusual.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 22:17:43

He won't get punished but he does struggle with spellings so it is important that he does well in the test for his confidence as well.

But anyway - I will ensure he is more organised and we will not leave it to the last minute in the future.

And really thank you for all comments.

exoticfruits Wed 06-Mar-13 22:17:55

They have found much better ways to teach spellings Hulababy.

Hulababy Wed 06-Mar-13 22:19:21

fouranddone - as the teacher is not on this thread then noone knows what the actual reason was. The OP may presume there was no real reason , but we have no way of really knowing at all.

And pushing a teacher out of the way would be a very serious issue at every school I have been at and would mean serious intervention occurring. It would be seen as an assault by the parent.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 22:19:54

Funnily enough the school didn't used to do spellings but parents complained and so now there are spellings tests.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 22:21:16

Oh lordy Hula - every thread on mn is told from one person's viewpoint isn't it?

And I was never ever going to push a teacher out of the way.

Hulababy Wed 06-Mar-13 22:21:28

exoticfruits - agree; many far better ways.

fouranddone Wed 06-Mar-13 22:21:50

Mrs Campbell when you speak to the teacher please don't just say he should better organised, a quick reminder to the whole class at home time wouldn't go amiss. We all forget things, I do a lot so I expect children to even more so. smile

Hulababy Wed 06-Mar-13 22:22:06

MrsCampbellBlack - I know you didn't say that; but someone else on the thread did. I was referring to that comment.

Kaekae Wed 06-Mar-13 22:22:22

Teacher sounds like a jobs worth. I would not have stood for it. I wouldn't expect my child to be more organised, children forget, fact of life.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 22:22:26

And I do think it was to teach my DS to be more organised in future. And yes I'm sure my 8 year old not doing well in his spellings will teach him a very valuable lesson hmm

getmeaginandtonicnow Wed 06-Mar-13 22:23:31

"he really does need to practice them"

Should be practise (verb), and not practice (noun). Sorry, pedantic and boring, but you did start thread about spelling OP................!

fouranddone Wed 06-Mar-13 22:23:36

Hula you didn't read it very clearly I actually said barge grin

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 22:23:58

To think I hated homework when I had to do it. I loathe it far more now my children have to do it wink

Bonsoir Wed 06-Mar-13 22:24:24

It sounds as if you were within the normal cultural boundaries of your DCs' school when asking for the spellings and that the teacher wanted to be obstructive, for reasons unknown.

At my DD's school parents are usually quite helpful and will text or email a photo of the relevant pages of forgotten homework.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 22:25:25

Oh thanks getmeawhatever - that's really helpful hmm hope you feel so much better now.

Don't get me started on the pedants on here or as I refer to them 'the rude fuckers who have nothing better to do than belittle someone who is upset'

exoticfruits Wed 06-Mar-13 22:28:47

We have absolutely no idea why she said it, and never will. Since only the OP knows anything about her I can't see how anyone can make all these judgements. Not knowing her, the school, or the classroom, you just have to assume she had her reasons.

MrsCampbellBlack Wed 06-Mar-13 22:30:55

Oh dear I swore on here and I never do that.

Best I go and 'practise' my own spellings wink

clam Wed 06-Mar-13 23:18:10

MrsCampbellBlack I think people were aiming those objections about the 'barging' and the 'storming to the head' to fouranddone, not you.

I think you've sounded rational and measured in your posts. Not sure, however, whether to be shock or hmm at fouranddone's assertion that she's never rude or bitchy, but would nonetheless consider 'pushing past' the teacher!

MrsCampbellBlack Thu 07-Mar-13 05:58:47

Thanks Clam smile

fouranddone Thu 07-Mar-13 08:27:15

Clam I said barge not push, they are very different things. However it would never actually happen as the teachers at my children's school would never act like this. We have naice teachers in our area wink

clam Thu 07-Mar-13 11:20:14

Your post of Wed 06-Mar-13 21:39:18 said, "I would have had no qualms about pushing past"

Although I can't believe you think there's a difference! Barge/push - both appallingly rude and unnecessary, regardless of the teacher's attitude, which I agree was unhelpful.

Hulababy Thu 07-Mar-13 12:32:21

Barge/push - same thing to me tbh

Feenie Thu 07-Mar-13 14:32:41

Because barging would be soooo much more polite......hmm

mrz Thu 07-Mar-13 17:18:39

barge verb

to hurry somewhere or through a place in a rude and forceful way

Informal to push (someone or one's way) violently


MrsCampbellBlack Thu 07-Mar-13 19:18:05

Quick update - went to parent's evening and the teacher apologised as soon as she saw me so all resolved.

clam Thu 07-Mar-13 19:53:10

Oh come on! Half a story! We want to know WHY she wouldn't let him in. What was the crisis?

redskyatnight Thu 07-Mar-13 20:22:23

Glad it was resolved.
I'd have assumed that "not a good time" meant one of the children in the classroom had just been sick, something had been spilt or there was an argument in progress between 2 children.
Which are the main reasons my DC are told not to go somewhere in school when there seems to be no reason that they shouldn't.

MrsCampbellBlack Fri 08-Mar-13 10:49:27

I don't think there was a crisis - I still think she'd had a bad day. But look she apologised, I said 'no problem' and we moved on smile

Laura4041 Sat 09-Mar-13 06:34:52

Quite right. Our HT never says sorry. I think it would kill her. She seems to be creating a culture of that attitude. We all make mistakes, sometimes a genuine verbal apology for a mistake or poor judgement is all that is needed to completely change someone's view of a person or situation.

The teacher was wrong, she apologised as soon as she saw you and quite rightly you accepted and moved on.

Wellthen Sun 10-Mar-13 14:44:08

I refused a parent entry a few days ago. She looked annoyed when I wouldnt explain why and I actually used the exact same phrase 'its not a good time'. I said I would see her first thing the next day so she didnt have to wait long.

She too would not have thought I had anything waiting for me or to go to because she wouldt have been able to see the child lying under my desk ripping up his maths book. The TA and I were physically preventing him from leaving because he had told us he would beat the 'living shit' out of another child on the way home and if we tried to stop him he would do the same to us. Knowing this child as I do I know that he is physically capable of this but that once he was calm he would see sense and not take this action. It took him about 10 mins after that parent left to come out from under my desk, apologise, accept his consequence and walk home. (In case anyone cares we rang his parents and the parents of the child he was going to beat up to ensure nothing did happen. It didnt.)

So, in conclusion you have absolutely no grasp on the whole story, like everyone on mn, assume that all teachers are obstructive and stupid. I sometimes wonder why I bother.

exoticfruits Mon 11-Mar-13 07:02:58

Exactly Wellthen- it was the sort if scenario that I had in mind at the beginning of this thread and I don't think that any other information should be given other than 'not a good time' either during or afterwards. I was amazed at the number of posters who thought they knew better and just wanted to over ride her or complain to the Head etc.

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