How would you feel if your ds was the only boy in his yr when starting reception?

(34 Posts)
educator123 Wed 27-Feb-13 20:56:24

Just that really? How much does it matter/not matter?

Taffeta Wed 27-Feb-13 20:57:31

Only boy in his year or only boy in his class? If both, not happy. At all.

educator123 Wed 27-Feb-13 21:02:39

It would be a mixed R/yr1 class but reception work alone until after lunch then the two come together for the afternoon!

simpson Wed 27-Feb-13 21:06:24

Nope would not make me happy either...

learnandsay Wed 27-Feb-13 21:09:49

Unhappy.

Not quite the same but ds is one of 4 boys. It isn't great.

Taffeta Wed 27-Feb-13 21:21:47

I probably shouldn't say this, but I suspect a lot more questions would be asked if it was just one girl....

DD was the only girl in her class at her private prep. When it closed down and we moved her to a more balanced class we realised just how much it had disadvantaged her.

INeverSaidThat Wed 27-Feb-13 21:27:18

How big are the classes? How long would it be for?

I would not be thrilled by the idea to be honest but it depends on the DC's involved.

Is there anything the school can do about it?

educator123 Wed 27-Feb-13 21:51:03

The class averages around 18 ish depending on intakes. He would be one of four going in and the only boy i think there will be four ish boys in yr1.

He has 3sisters so used to girls but at preschool def plays more with his own sex.

School can't do much small village school.

The other alternative would be a school move (for my elder children) but then they would all be in larger classes as the other school is a 1form entry of 25-30 so its striking a balance between the social size and teacher to pupil ratios!

LtEveDallas Wed 27-Feb-13 21:57:03

When DD started Reception she was one of 4 girls in a class of 18. That went down to 3 after 6 months, then in year one 5 girls and has remained that way.

She's in year 3 now.

It's shit. It was shit when she started and is still shit. All the other girls know each other out of school and DD is constantly left out. She tries to play with the boys but they are very stereotypical and most of the time don't want to play with a 'yuk girl'

If we were staying here I would have had to move her, but I don't know where to as ALL the other local schools are oversubscribed. I'm glad that we are login out of the are this year TBH.

I know I'm in the opposite situation to you, but if you have any choice Inreally wouldn't do it.

Taffeta Wed 27-Feb-13 22:01:29

Is there a way for his 3 sisters to stay where they are, and find a different school for him?

educator123 Wed 27-Feb-13 22:04:19

It is a tough one as my dds aare already there and so far it seems to have been ok dd1 went in as one of 6 (4girls and 2boys) and dd2 one of 8 (4of each)

The ethos of the school seems to mean everyone takes care/looks after each other and generally i really love the school.

I would need to move the dds befroe ds is due to start as i may risk not getting them all in to the other alternative otherwise.

I would like to think the gender thing wouldnt matter but i think it might sad which is such a shame as like i say it is a good school and the heart of our community!

It wouldn't bother me in a tiny school. It did when it was a school with an intake of 60 every year and only 8 boys, but in a little rural school I'd expect things to be quite different anyway.

educator123 Wed 27-Feb-13 22:08:58

The logisitics of them being in seperate school wouldnt be possible.

Its tough as if he was going in with a few more adn more balance i would be ok as i personally like the small classes and family feel of the school as ther is only 43 there atm and the children seem to progress well.

The alternative is a very good school too but just doesnt feel the same, feels big and like the children could become just numbers!

educator123 Wed 27-Feb-13 22:10:47

He would have a teacher to himself and only 3other children for the mornings to do all his phonic work etc which must be great for learning, but he needs to be happy and comfortable too!

In a small school there won't be the same differentiation between year groups that you'd get in a large school. He won't be the only boy in the school.

Taffeta Wed 27-Feb-13 22:13:14

In that case, I think I'd move everyone. Because it doesn't sound like his sisters would necessarily be worse off, but he probably would be if they all stayed.

It may also be an easier transition to big secondary school for them?

MoreBeta Wed 27-Feb-13 22:14:05

Both of our boys started their schooling at girls schools. At one point in Yr 2 DS2 was the only boy. It was not a problem at all.

It becomes a problem with sport and just general social interaction from Yr 4 onwards.

Trekkie Wed 27-Feb-13 22:16:10

I would be inclined to give it a go and see how it goes.
It is a very small school and like my DDs they mix the years and at DDs school the Yr1s and Receps who are all in the same class mix and play together well. As it is small this is encouraged and being kind/sharing etc it sounds like your school.
You say he is one of 4 going in is that only going to be 4 children in recep and then 10 or so in yr1 in the same class?
I would give it a go before removing other children from a school they are settled at. and a school you are happy with for the sake of something that may not be a problem.

TheChaoGoesMu Wed 27-Feb-13 22:20:45

I'd give it a go personally, based on what you have said about the school, and because its such a tiny class in the morning. I guess he would get to play with the other boys at lunchtime and then be with them for the afternoon?

exoticfruits Wed 27-Feb-13 22:24:58

I wouldn't-he will go through school with a very small friendship group.

educator123 Wed 27-Feb-13 22:25:59

Thank you, there are things to be gained from the move like more sport (active dd1) and more friendship oppotunites (dd1s BF has just moved!) she is ok but they were joined at the hip.

And ds would start in a more even class as they have a PAN of 25 but often over subcribed (its the 'fan' school in the area) i am quite lucky to get places tbh.

But we would also lose the community feel, the walk to school, the nurturing atmosphere, all the teacher know all the children well, the small class sizes which have been consistantly between 13-18. My dd is in a class of 13 which has lots of benefits.

I'm not sure of the exact numbers in yr1 when he starts in reception but i know its considered a 'large' intake so prob betwenn 8-10 as the school has a PAN of 8.

educator123 Wed 27-Feb-13 22:27:56

The risk i take by giving it a go, is that i don't get in elsewhere if it all goes wrong as its a rural area and also dd1 and dd2 will be moving through the school by then.

Its also hard to pull away from a school we like, just incase!

UniS Wed 27-Feb-13 22:45:27

then stick with a school you like, a school your older children are happy at and see what happens. Ask your older children who plays with younger brothers and sisters at lunchtime. AT DS's school BIg sibs really do keep an eye out for little ones. DS often plays with best mate and best mates younger sibling.

TheBuskersDog Wed 27-Feb-13 22:45:32

But even if all four children starting were boys he would go through school with a small potential friendship group. I think in such a small school he is bound to play with children from other years anyway so I would see how it goes, you can always choose to move him when he is older if you think it is a problem.
One of the drawbacks of any small school is the small pool of potential friends, regardless of gender, which needs to be weighed up against the advantages. Your older children have been fine there and chances are he will be too.

educator123 Wed 27-Feb-13 22:52:05

Thank you my dd1 one has been fine although struggling a little now her best friend has left sad and DD2 Is in reception so early days. Dh is keen to make a move before ds starts to save more disruption and also to avoid dds moving too far through the school before a move! As dd1 will be in yr4 when he starts!

Trekkie Wed 27-Feb-13 23:19:16

You know the school well though, and you like it, and it's not as if he's the only boy in a class of 20, he is one boy in an intake of 4!!! And he will play with the Yr1 boys - at DD school they all mix and your school is even smaller. Any discrepancies in sex / age distributions through the school will be offset by it being small & caring & inclusive & let's mix everyone up - as you mention.

I think removing your 2 DDs where they are settled because of this when actually it'll probably be fine seems not great.

TBH I went to large-ish primary schools with plenty of people my own sex and that is a reason that I like that the DDs go to a very small school. At that age the individual attention etc is important IMO - but that is just from my experience smile

hippo123 Wed 27-Feb-13 23:21:53

I would see how it's goes personally, especially as you like the school, you have other dc there and I presumed it's local to you. He can always do after school stuff like karate, beavers, football, rubgy etc where he is likely to meet other boys his age. I Would think at such a small school though he's would just play with boys the year above / below him.

educator123 Fri 01-Mar-13 12:36:22

Thank trekkie that is good to know...one of my worries of going bigger to classes of 25plus is that things/children get missed. Although it's a good school with good results/rep.

But I doubt it will have that same family feel about it.

The problem with seeing how it goes it that we run the risk of no choice as we may not be able to get them all in elsewhere and also that dd1 will be in year 4 by that point.

Dd2 is in reception and moving seems a big thing so would like to avoid that by ds starting where he will be most likely to be there for the duration.

It's tough too as dd1s best friend has moved to the other school so that combined with the sport they do she will be happy there, but I worry/feel it's unfair on dd2 has she has only just started to accept being at school so the transition could be a lot bigger for her.

I don't really want to be in the situation where I'm moving ds around when the girls have been at their current school for a long time!

pimmsgalore Fri 01-Mar-13 18:56:52

My DS was 1 bit with 5 girls when he started reception. He loved it, yr1 boys played with him at break and the classes were joined in the afternoon. We moved after yrR and the next school was bit heavy and he really missed the girls.

I would give it a go and see how he likes it. It made my boy feel special he also got on school council by default grin

pimmsgalore Fri 01-Mar-13 18:57:27

Bit = boy silly phone

educator123 Fri 01-Mar-13 19:27:45

Thanks glad he liked it smile Do you mind me asking why you moved him?

pimmsgalore Fri 01-Mar-13 22:12:28

we moved to the US for 2 years with DHs job, went to a busy town and he really missed his small rural primary and the girls in his class

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