WWYD? Homework is too hard IMHO. How much support do you give to your DC?

(55 Posts)
AngelaMartinLipton Sun 24-Feb-13 09:02:36

DS is in a mixed YEAR 1/2 class. Up until now his homework has been electronic and that is the only reason I know that it has been Year 2. I know some 6yos would be able to sit and concentrate unsupervised. I am sure he is given work in class and expected to get on with it but he can't/won't at home. He can do the homework if we sit together. I don't complete it for him, I explain the question and jolly him along. If he gets it wrong, that's ok. It doesn't help that I use different terms and don't understand the methods he is expected to use.

The latest homework is on paper sheets and it is just way too difficult for him. We have a consultation/parents evening in a few weeks. There is no opportunity to talk to the class teacher. If I could have, I would have been tempted to ask if he had the correct work.

He doesn't understand the way the question is phrased (I'm a bit confused). For example: What number is 7 less than 15? 15-7 =? would be fine. To divide 16 by 5, the instruction is to add 4 to sixteen. Either the answer is an estimate or there is a second part to the question that I don't understand.

The instructions are to go over the first sheet together and then DS is to continue with the rest of the paper on his own (9 more pages). I think I should do as asked and then go over the questions so he understands what he was supposed to do.

How much input or support do others give to their Y1/ 6 yos when doing homework?

Wellthen Sun 24-Feb-13 09:08:48

The first question, 7 less than 15, sounds manageable but has been phrased oddly to test problem solving. The fact that 15-7 would be fine is kinda the point, he needs to be able to apply that knowledge to a range of questions.

I would ask him to picture 15 smarties and then imagine 7 less. You could even act it out with bits of lego or something. This physical representation will probably remind him of doing his early take aways and he will realise what 'less' actually means.

I don't understand the second question really. Surely to divide 16 by 5 you count up in 5s till you get close and find the remainder?

But I wouldnt worry about giving support or not. Make your choice about how much support you're giving and simply feed that back to the teacher. I have children who quite obviously do the whole thing with Mum or Dad and others who definately don't. It doesn't matter to me which happens as long as I know.

PolkadotCircus Sun 24-Feb-13 09:27:29

I've just bought Calmer,Easier,Happier Homework which has a section on this.It's a really good book,there was a Q and A with the author on here.

TiffIsKool Sun 24-Feb-13 09:43:30

I know it isn't your question but for x times 5 questions I tell my DCs to times x by 10 and then halve the result.

I have found that some (all?) primary teachers teach math methods that only work for certain numbers. One time DC got into trouble because I taught him the 'correct' way (I'm degree level maths) and when told by the teacher that he should be doing it her way, he at first refused 'because mom says your way is wrong'

meditrina Sun 24-Feb-13 09:49:09

I think you either need to make a separate appointment to see the teacher and explain what you have said here, or send a note with every homework explaining what help has been necessary. If s/he thinks DC has completed the homework independently, then s/he is getting the wrong impression of what he can do and will of course keep setting homework that s/he thinks (wrongly) is the right level.

AngelaMartinLipton Sun 24-Feb-13 09:52:47

I now see what you mean about problem solving. I think the same thing being phrased in different ways is what we are having problems with.
Find the total sum of/ x add y/ how many are x and y together?
I think of a number, I add x and the answer is y what was the number?
At the last parent's evening the discussion was about whether the homework is done or not.

At the last parent's evening the discussion was about whether the homework is done or not. There has been no assessment or feedback regarding homework. There is no opportunity to feedback about homework or things he has found difficult.

I'm not sure what the point is. The questions are varied and it looks like a test to me. I don't do the homework but do sit with him to help him work out what the question is. Thanks for your advice I will carry on with this approach and feedback.

I have smarties and lego. I will also give him a number square to use. I'll look up Calmer, Easier, Happier Homework.

TiffIsKool - I don't undertand the methodology or tricks he is using. I have no idea how he adds more than single digits without seeming to carry forward.

Do others leave 6 yos to do homework totally alone? shock. Lots of spiderman drawing if that what the case at Angela Towers.

steppemum Sun 24-Feb-13 09:55:23

I give different amounts of help according to how difficult it is. If I have given more help than I think is normal (ie I had to explain every question, or there was a concept they didn't understand and I had to explain it first) then I would put a note on the bottom telling the teacher how much help they had.

You said 9 pages? Do you have a copy of the schools homework policy? See how much they are supposed to get. if it is half and hour, then work on it well for 30-40 minutes and then stop and put at the bottom that you have worked for that long. So the teacher can see how appropriate the level is she/he is setting.

My dcs are all doing well in school, but homework is a nightmare, it used to wreck every Saturday as ds prevaricated, protested, threw a strop etc. We have worked out some strategies that work, but I don't think it is that unusual for homework to be a bit of a battle.

Polkadot - even with some of her strategies it doesn't always work! Also she expects a lot of homework for young children, if we did what she says, kids would do school, 15 min break, homework, dinner and bedtime routine. No space for play, brownies, music lessons of any other life at all. And kids who work hard at school, come home tired and are not always able to give out any more intellectually. So I am wary of her

AngelaMartinLipton Sun 24-Feb-13 09:56:57

meditrina homework from the first day of YR or up until now has been online. There is no opportunity to feedback. He has a reading record but it is just about changing books. I have assumed that he will be undertaking the same work in school and it will be obvious to the teacher what his strengths and weaknesses are. The mum of one of his friends does the homework for her ds and I think this is a waste of time.

AngelaMartinLipton Sun 24-Feb-13 10:13:33

I recently named changed. I have posted before about competitive parents and the amount of homework the class are expected to do. I was asked to read every night with him and to change reading books as often as possible. ORT level 10s are 32 pages long and that would take him 40 mins every night (too much imho). I think he is reading very well and am loathe to push him through the reading scheme.

steppemum the halfterm homework is:
1. Numeracy 10 A3 pages or 20 A4s of maths questions
2. Literacy 3 A3 pages or 6 A4s. One paragraph with a comprehension question on each page.
3. He also has a reading book and writing practise.

We have been away on holiday and I decided not to do any until today. I will make sure it gets done but this will take a few days. He has read every day haven't done his school reading book.

DS and I agreed that he would do homework for 30 mins on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturdays. It is a battle to get him to do homework and it works better for us to do it in chunks.

steppemum Sun 24-Feb-13 10:33:55

That is an awful lot of homework, especially over half term. I would find that a lot for ds in year 5 let alone a 6 year old.

All the studies show that most primary homework doesn't actually help them make progress.

Reading is the only one I feel strongly about. But 40 minutes is a long time to focus and read age 6, after school. 15-20 minutes is fine. We always read to the middle page in those ORT books and then next day read the other half.

The government regs used to be 30 mins literacy and 30 minutes numercy per week. They have now been dropped and left to schools discretion.

I think you plan of 3 days x 30 minutes is plenty. If it was my child, I wouldn't do more and just politely tell school he has worked for the set time and has got this far.

I really passionately believe that children also need to get outside and play, and play imaginatively, and build lego models etc. They have been working all day intellectually and they are brain tired, but not necessarily physically tired or had time to regroup and reflect on what they have done.

Quieter introvert children need some space after school, just as introverted adults do!

steppemum Sun 24-Feb-13 10:36:46

Also one easter holiday ds was going away with granny. I told his teacher he would not be able to do homework as he would be away and couldn't take it with him.

I did the same when he spent the whole weekend away on cub camp.

If this was secondary, I would have made sure it was done. But at primary level aged 7 and 8, I think there has to to be some flexibility

AngelaMartinLipton Sun 24-Feb-13 11:22:56

The important news of half term was a sleepover and learning to ride his bike on two wheels.

I want to be supportive of the school and try to do as asked. I don't really see the value in homework but do think it is important that DS can concentrate and do as he is told - especially as there are 28 other dc in his class. I see homework as a practise of expected behaviour.

The main thing he need to work on is his writing - which he hates with a passion. I have been focussed on reading up until noiw. I now think his progress is amazing and so am happy for him to read anything. I don't care if he stays on the same book level for the rest of the year.

simpson Sun 24-Feb-13 12:43:21

That is a lot of work.

It is the type of work my DS would get in yr2.

Does your DS have a ORT stage 10 book to read every night?

DD (5) is on a mixture of stage 10/11 and gets 2 books a week (fiction and a non fiction one) which is fine, otherwise she would not have time to read any books she wants to.

AngelaMartinLipton Sun 24-Feb-13 13:03:09

He is supposed to read a book a night. This time last year he was reading level 6 and he could read one a night. As a compromise, I have said I will ensure he reads two school books a week and I level 10 I think that is about right. I have said he will read every day; this is mostly subtitles or comics. He has to read every book in the level to move up. I'm not bothered about this as he is doing really well inho.

I had no input with regard to him being placed in a mixed year class and have mixed feeling about it. I understand that the teacher needs to differentiate work for individuals. I think he is being lumped in with his year 2 classmates and he is really struggling. His teacher has said he is able to cope with the work. He is finding school so challenging that I find it hard to get him to do any homework.

This homework is far too hard for him to complete on his own.

simpson Does your Year 2 DS complete homework on his own without any input from you? Maybe a year will make a big difference.

simpson Sun 24-Feb-13 13:17:16

DS is now in yr3 and yes he does his own work by himself (and did in yr2as well).

There were certain questions that I might have to explain what they want him to do etc but then he cracks on.

DD also does her work by herself (reception) but hers is very age appropriate (ie colouring in sequences, writing a letter to Santa, basic sums etc).

But neither of them get homework every night, it is given out on a Thursday (Friday for DS) and has to be completed by the following Tuesday.

Does he use a number line for the numeracy? He might find it easier...

tethersend Sun 24-Feb-13 13:18:45

If a child cannot complete the homework independently, it is set at the wrong level.

Viviennemary Sun 24-Feb-13 13:24:43

The point is that if people carry on bending over backwards to more or less do the homework themselves or phone their Oxford Professor friends to help, then the problem is going to get even worse. Homework that is consistntly too difficult means that the teacher is inexperienced or hasn't got a clue what he/she is doing.

teacherwith2kids Sun 24-Feb-13 13:43:13


'DS and i worked together on this homework for x minutes. He was unable to do any unaided, so we selected y number of questions to do together. I have underlined the words which I had to explain. I would like to make an appointment with you in order to discuss homework. I would also welsome an informatio session describing the methods that you use for calculation in school.'

Homework should ALWAYS be possible for a child to do unaided unless there is a specific agreement in place that the aim of homework is to encourage parents and children to learn alongside one another.

AngelaMartinLipton Sun 24-Feb-13 14:17:43

If he needs a number line shouldn't school provide one? I'm not being facetious, I've never used a number line or square. How I am supposed to know what is needed/used today?

DS's behaviour has found it very difficult this year. I feel like he has been moved up to year 2 and it is too challenging. When I met with the teacher she wanted DS to be there. She said he is keeping up with his peers and there are no issues. I would be very surprised if he can complete this work unaided in class. I am reluctant to make another appointment but will speak to her in a few weeks at parents evening.

There ARE issues out of school. At the start of term he morphed into stroppy teenage with attittude. We both work full time and he comes home at 5ish. I get home at 7-8pm and it is too late to do homework then. His behaviour has improved over the last few weeks. This coincided with me working much longer hours.

IMHO, his homework has always been too hard for him to complete on his own. I don't do the homework for him and if he gets answers wrong, that is what he submits. I couldn't leave him at the kitchen table and be in another room.

AngelaMartinLipton Sun 24-Feb-13 14:32:18

Thanks teachers. I will describe in my note what we actually did.

I am surprised by the information that 4/5/6 year olds are supposed to do homework on their own. This is the first time he has been instructed to do something on his own. Up until now instructions have included a note to parents.

We are asked to 'read each night with your child' and not 'ensure your child reads'. To me that means he reads aloud and I listen/ help him spell words out if needed. I really don't know what i'm doing. It is all so different from when I was at school.

learnandsay Sun 24-Feb-13 14:51:14

I'd have no qualms about helping my child with all of it. I'd supply smarties or raisins to do the physical counting with. And if a question was ambiguous I'd say so on the homework sheet.

teacherwith2kids Sun 24-Feb-13 14:59:18

I think that there is a difference between supervision / encouragement / provision of equipment / explaining some tricky bits and 'doing the homework for them'.

If it is clear that the child does not know how to do the homework - as in the parent actually has to teach the child in order to complete the homework - then the homework is too hard because homework should ALWAYS be consolidation, not learning something new.

I have to admit that my attitude to homework is shaped as a teacher by having taught in a school with a significant proportion of illiterate parents (so homework had to be set in such a way that the child knew what to do and could complete it unaided), and as a parent by my belief that the only value of primary homework (other than reading) is one of developing study habits that demonstrate that academic work can also be done at home, and that making time for it is a skill that can be learned, in preparation for secondary.

AngelaMartinLipton Sun 24-Feb-13 16:45:37

Ds has completed the homework; I think they are tests. Normally you can tell that online homework is a consolidation of learning. He will have a group of exercises that relate to what he is doing in school. The numeracy paper was all over the place; charts, ranges, find the missing number, measuring, time, etc. The variation of different types of questions and ways to describe problem solving is what made it so difficult. I did have to prompt 'what do you think the question means?'. I hope I have supervised rather than taught.

teacher I normally approach with 'supervision / encouragement / provision of equipment / explaining some tricky bits and 'doing the homework for them'.

He had questions about multipcation and division by 5 that he could do easily. He could not apply this to a problem:
If x has y pence
Marbles are 5 pence
How many marbles can be buy?
How much money he have left over?

His answers are totally wrong and he can't explain how he got them. I've left them.

steppemum Sun 24-Feb-13 17:57:41

OP, all my children can do their homework on their own because it is set at the right level
But I needed to sit them down at the kitchen table with the right stuff (ruler sharp pencil etc) while I potter so that they know that they have to do it.

(and they read aloud to me too)

Children who are fine to work independently at school can still struggle with homework and be stroppy about it. It is to do with the home school divide. Mum isn't my teacher, she is my mum type of thing.

AngelaMartinLipton Sun 24-Feb-13 18:08:50

He was fine with homework last year. The change of pace and jump from reception to year 2 is making his head spin. There are 30ish DC in his class and so he couldn't possibly get teh same level of support in the classroom.

I think this was too difficult and I have written that I sat with him but encouraged him to complete it on his own. The teacher will know from the wrong answers that I didn't help.

PolkadotCircus Sun 24-Feb-13 20:01:07

Jesus that is a lot.

I was doing it with them to keep them on track and Spider-Man pics at a minimum in y1/2 however I always made them do it themselves.My lot are in years 3 and 4 and don't get that much-thankfully!

I'd speak to the teacher.

AngelaMartinLipton Sun 24-Feb-13 20:07:34

I think the quantity has something to do with how much I feel I need to supervise. This particular hoemwork was too difficult at the moment.

simpson Sun 24-Feb-13 20:33:26

I would second having a chat with the teacher, there is little point in doing homework that is too hard.

I really hope DD is not in a mixed yr1/2 class next year. There is a vague possibility as she is in a reception year that has taken a bulge class.

difficultpickle Sun 24-Feb-13 20:46:39

If ds (yr 4) doesn't know how to do his homework I put a note in his homework diary. I won't explain how to do it or help him do it if he doesn't understand it to begin with. Homework should be about reinforcing principles learned in class and how will the teacher know if their pupils have understood the work if the parents sit and do the homework with their dcs? confused

Fwiw I see no benefit at all for setting homework in primary school other than reading.

nomadwantshome Sun 24-Feb-13 21:14:44

Very interesting thread. I have been complaining to my dh that dd y4 gets too much homework AND she doesn't understand it. Like other posters, it's so different to when I was at school and I don't understand the methods they use. It feels like I am a teacher too and I feel like I'm letting my dd down and I feel under pressure from the school. It really weighs heavily on me. I am dreading parents evening on Wednesday. I feel like I'll be defending myself and it's all my fault.

To put in to context, dd is having extra sessions under SN for maths and reading. Ds is in y2 and at the top of his class. I realised the other day, he has the same reading book as dd. sad VERY. He also is quicker at maths than she is. I'm sure he is more advanced. We don't do 'family' maths anymore because I don't want competition.

Dd is also doing kumon, which is a real struggle. There is so much for her, poor little thing. I just want her to go out and play

NonnoMum Sun 24-Feb-13 21:21:36

Poor little mites. I can't bear homework at this age.

Parents hate it. Kids hate it. Teacher hate it.

just remind me who thinks it is a good idea?

AngelaMartinLipton Sun 24-Feb-13 21:37:21

Don't feel bad Nomad. It sounds like she is really struggling. Loads of extra work at home isn't going to help if she doesn't understand.

At my ds's school a lot of parents are very competitive about their los. A bit of reading and practise writing is all that is needed imho. I really do want to do as I'm asked but I don't think masses of homework helps.

Getting on socially and behaving well is just as important at this age. I know my DS best and want him to do well. I don't think masses of homework that is too challenging for him is doing what is best. I know DS isn't perfect; he talks a lot. I tend have a 'what can we do together' attitude. I will say that I don't understand the methods being used and ask for examples.

I think by Y3 they should be doing homework completely unaided and with minimal supervision.

HorribleMother Mon 25-Feb-13 17:40:51

Unaided & minimal supervision...? Yeah, right. Well, it's a nice idea.

We are told to give whatever support they need to complete the task. Only caveat is all writing must be in their own hands.

teacherwith2kids Mon 25-Feb-13 18:52:47


Genuine question - what does the school think is the point of that?

Teacher gets in a pile of correct homework, but has absolutely no clue whatever who did it - the child or the parent. So they don't know whether the child can actually do what they were asked to do, nor how much support was needed. The child doesn't learn independent study skills, may have been 'taught' an inappropriate method (or may simply have copied out what a parent wrote) and may not receive the help in school that they need in order to actually understand the concept....

'Help' as in hearing reading, encouraging over the hard bits, testing spellings [ if you happen to have a school that still does thme that way) or times table facts, discussing a possible plot twist or setting expectations that writing at home should be at least as good as writing done at school - no problem. But where help is given to such an extent that it is no longer clear that the child understood the task - pointless.

TomArchersSausage Mon 25-Feb-13 19:10:50

It is so very wrong to be sending home homework that hasn't been covered in class. If after a quick explanation dc still don't get it I've resorted to writing a note to teachers saying he/she doesn't understand and to please supply more support.

Sending things home to be taught from scratch is not on. Homework should be backing up what's already been taught. But then I'm not a believer in loads of homework in primary school anyway.

AngelaMartinLipton Mon 25-Feb-13 22:18:29

It could be that it has been covered in class. He seemed baffled but it may have been the quantity and disparate nature of questions.

He came home with a sticker and a book 2 levels in his current reading scheme. I have no idea of they are connected to my comments about the the homework being difficult.

I know for a fact that some parents are doing the online homework for their kids. That may be why we have had paper homework for the first time. I also know that other DC get spellings home as homework; DS never has but says he has tests.

I'll stick with encouraging the reading.

colditz Mon 25-Feb-13 22:23:06

They aren't expected to do it alone, from what I gather its perfectly expected for you to have to sit with them and basically push them through it, organising their time and possessions.

I can't do anything else at homework time. I have to sit and help. Help research, help with spelling, help with my nine year olds concentratn and focus, help with finding the right colouring pencils for my colour blind six year old.

I didn't used to help, but then they got punished, so now I practically do it for them if they can't do it.

learnandsay Mon 25-Feb-13 22:39:47

That's funny. If the parent has to do the homework then it's not really homework, is it? It's "parent work."

colditz Mon 25-Feb-13 22:41:23

Yes, it is parent work and I hate it! I would not do it if only my children didn't lose playtime for the sake of me doing homework for them.

I have made it clear to the teachers that if they insist on punishing for undone homework, the homework will always be done, but it might be done by me and they will never find out.

learnandsay Mon 25-Feb-13 22:45:56

I'm not up-to-speed with the "parent work" concept, but it might be a way of pushing the children harder without doing "all" the teaching. But I can't see how. Because if the parents have done the homework then who learned anything? It just sounds like an all round waste of everybody's time and effort.

Sounds like he has been asked to do a Yr 2 SATS paper.Should imagine they have been sent home to familiarise the yr 2 with format ,style etc as much as to test or consolidate learning.
Not appropriate for a yr 1 no matter what level they are working at

JengaBlock Mon 25-Feb-13 23:18:04

Have a look on amazon for the book called 'maths for mums and dads'. Naff title but it is great. Goes through all the stages of maths and how they are taught ATM. Fab reference guide to have.

Also, ask if your school is going to run a maths and/or literacy evening for parents. Ours alternate years for these and they are a great way to have the current methods demonstrated. Ours also go through the expectations for each year and levels and policies etc.

My yr one and yr two ds's do their homework independently (yr one ds is possible dyslexic though so he does get a bit of help). They get one maths and one leteracy sheet per week, plus yr two has spellings, plus a book a night. Plus yr one does an extra sheet of maths per night as on an intervention program, plus yr two gets two extension grammar sheet every night. So that, is only seven sheets for year one and twelve for year two. Your ds sounds like heis getting almost double that. sad

TomArchersSausage Tue 26-Feb-13 08:52:50

Agree with Colditz. I did a project with for dd when she was 9. Project set was way beyond her capabilities, more the kind of thing she'd be expected to do now she's 14hmm

I saw the teacher who couldn't have been less interested. She was also the type to dish out punishments. Dd becoming increasingly demotivated and worried.

Then the lightbulb moment, the unwritten rule - the parents were supposed to 'help'. So I did and when they displayed the projects it was obvious so had everyone else's parents.

lougle Tue 26-Feb-13 10:12:03

My DD's school produced this guide to teaching methods in Infants (Yr R-2).

It's really helpful to see how they teach now.

For instance, they don't use the word 'sums' any more, because a sum is strictly an addition. They use, instead, 'number sentences'.

A number-line is something that can be drawn with a ruler on a piece of paper.

For example

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

'Johnny has 3 sweets. He goes to the shop and buys 3 more, how many does he have?'

The child would be expected to start on the number 3 and jump 3 places along to find the answer.

Number lines can be as long as you like, and can start from any number.

50 51 52 53 54 55 56

'Tracey had 50 pence in 2p coins. Her Mum gave her 2 more coins, how much money does she have?'

The child would be expected to start at 50, draw a line over the 51 to the 52 for the first 'jump', from the 52 over the 53 to the 54 for the second jump. Answer: 54 pence.

For minus, they tend to put the arched lines under the number line.

so 4 + 2 -3 means that they would jump forwards 2 places on the number line (on the top), then jump backwards 3 places (underneath) to get to the 3.

lougle Tue 26-Feb-13 10:14:50

The other thing is that the whole point of maths these days is 'application'. So it's all very well and good knowing that 2 x 3 =6, but if you don't understand that being given 2 bags with 3 carrots in each bag means that you have 6 carrots, then you really don't know that 2x3=6, you just remember the answer.

MammaMedusa Tue 26-Feb-13 14:13:05

I usually provide whatever help necessary to get it done but ensuring that it is understood and completed by the children. e.g. we might use counters, number lines, draw pictures, etc.

I then write a note to the teacher at the bottom of the page about what we have done.

If there is too much or it is way too hard then I will write a note to that effect.

The teachers are very good about writing back / changing level. e.g. one note in January said "Quite a few of them found this hard, we will do more in class, and send something similar in a couple of weeks. Please let me know how she gets on then". The almost identical sheet came at half-term, and DD could do it all unaided.

AngelaMartinLipton Tue 26-Feb-13 19:42:34

3isthemagicnumber I've googled Y2 SATS and it does look like a sample paper I've found. I'm not very clear about SATS I thought they were in Y6; my friend is a Y6 teacher. I shouldn't think he will do them until next year when he is in Year 2.

JengaBlock. I've checked the sample on Amazon and the book looks really good. This was homework set for half term and so is a little more than usual.

lougle The guide is excellent and may help with the communication issues we've been having. I'm sure I was in Junior School before we started timetables but he has done some. He knew 5 x 4 = 2 but had problems a liitle later when 4 x5 was part of the answer because he hadn't done his 4 times tables. As I was sitting with him I could say that it was the same calculation and he could finish the rest of the problem without further help.

MammaMedusa That sounds constructive. I doubt we will get any feedback as homework isn't marked. You make a good point about making progress. He will be able to cope with the change and variety within the paper if he does this kind of thing regularly.

At Angela Towers we supervise rather than teach; we don't do it for him. DS cannot (yet) be left to do this totally alone. What do others do support to do?

I'm off to learn about number lines and partitioning.

Bakingtins Tue 26-Feb-13 20:01:01

My son is Y1 in a Y1/2 class. They get homework set for all of KS1 related to their topic for the half term, about 10 activities, but it is usually differentiated for y1 and Y2 (e.g. Y2 expected to work with bigger numbers or write more). It's left up to the parents how much to complete. He gets reading book changed twice a week. We read every night for about 20 mins and do one piece of the homework each weekend, which takes maybe half an hour. He wouldn't do it without help, but of the talking about it, working out what is expected variety. I don't do it for him or correct wrong answers - what's the point? for half term he had an art project which we did together, each producing a picture (1 hour).
I suspect I'm the pushy end of the spectrum at his school where a lot of the kids get v little parental support, nobody would bat an eyelid if no homework was done. If I didn't facilitate it, he wouldn't do any (he's only 6 FFS).
The amount that is set/expected at OP's school sounds ridiculous to me.

nomadwantshome Tue 26-Feb-13 20:39:09

It's parents evening tomorrow, gulp. Was going to get dh to do it but that would be like not facing up to things. Dd's teacher is very results driven, it seems. That's good up to a point. Last parents evening I listened to her tellin me what dd should be doing/ how to do it, setting targets etc and then it was meeting over. No talk about what she's good at, or her emotional development of questions from me so I had to force the point. She was just trying to close me down all the time. I appreciate it might be very time sensitive and all that but ffs! Rant over. I suppose that is why I'm not looking forward to tomorrow. Her teacher in y3 praised dd for her exceptional artistic skills and was very concerned about her emotional development. Oh well.

I am also a little concerned about dd being pushed to go on the blog all the time. Her current teacher thinks that it's great for bonding with other children. She told me about a boy who never went on it but then posted something, like a joke. He got some really positive comments and he was dead chuffed. Maybe I'm showing my age but I'd rather she go out and play with her friends down the road. She's not particulary interested in computers and I don't want to set a habit of social networking, whole other can of worms.

I'll get the talk about going on the blog no doubt. Don't know whether to voice my concerns or tell them (truthfully) but as a kind of excuse iyswim that we have had Internet problems for about a month and I'm really not particularly fussed if we get them fixed quickly. Btw she can't get onto the blog properly from my iPad which I'm using at the moment. Its the laptop that we use that is the faulty link for the Internet.

Sorry very long rant there!

thegreylady Tue 26-Feb-13 21:01:18

If he is on ORT stage 10 he is well into the Yr2 expectations and approaching Yr3 surely. My dgs is 6 and in Yr1. He only talks about book colours not stages but he is on Turquoise and the girl who is acknowledged as the most advanced in the class is on Purple. Obviously the yr2 pupils are sometimes beyond that. (This is a mixed 1/2 class).

AngelaMartinLipton Tue 26-Feb-13 22:17:19

nomad You'll be fine. The parent's evening consultation is a two way process and you should raise your concerns. If the teacher doesn't have time to respond, ask for another meeting. Think about what worries you most and try to sort out the most worrying few. Be specific:
1. Ask how long should homework take. State how much longer it takes your DD and give your opinion as to why this is (she is having problems understanding it). State you will do x amount of homework and ask for the teacher to priorituise what she would like done in that time.
2. What progress is being made at the extra sessions? Ask what can be done to further assist her (outside additional homework).
3. You are keen to encourage and support your DD with the things she enjoys and is good at like art? I sthis something school could help with, like an art project?
4. I'm not sure what the blog is but I'm not keen on young children social networking and would say so. Ask what benefit there is to your DD taking part.
5. If YOU have concerns about your DD's emotional development say so and ask what you can both do to encourage growth.

Hope it goes well and please update.

I have parent's evening in the next week or so too. I have to assume that my DS's teacher has his best interest at heart. I also realise that she will 30 other concerned parents over a few hours. There isn't much time to get across all what we both need to say and we won't always agree. I was very different at school than I was at home and I'm sure my DS is too. He also talks too much (like his mum). I'll try to take my own advice.

AngelaMartinLipton Wed 27-Feb-13 19:45:19

How did you get on Nomad?

TICKLETUMBLE Thu 28-Feb-13 16:46:06

Homework for 5-6 years olds seems excessive.
we get worksheets every week asking what books have been read, draw pictures or write something you liked about them, asked to research a topic they are doing the following week, asked to practice the phonics and tricky words they have been doing and a page or three of other stuff, sometimes maths, sometimes personal development, sometime literacy. DS is keen to do the work as he likes to please the teacher but its far too much for him to do. On a school day he is exhausted and burnt out form the day so it has to be done at the weekend, and its a chores and a half to get through it all.

I leave post its on the worksheets indicating how much 1:1 it took to get the work done, if he got things wrong and wanted to correct it once we talked about it, or did it on his own DS usually gets his homework 'wrong' because he lost consentration and forgot what he was supposed to be doing...sometime its gets left with an explanation of that, or he tries again with support, and I make that clear too.

nomadwantshome Thu 28-Feb-13 20:42:20

It went much better than I expected. Dd's teacher was really helpful. She thanked me for the feedback on the home work and was worried than some of it may have been too tricky. Dd has gone up a level on her reading and her writing has improved. It's just her maths that she's struggling on still.

The teacher was saying that she didn't agree with homework and thought its more important that they go out and play after being at school all day. I feel much better now and think I got the teacher all wrong. The blog wasn't mentioned either.

In any case, I'm going to drop the kumon, it's just too much.

AngelaMartinLipton Fri 01-Mar-13 22:49:06

All is well then Nomad? Sounds like it went much better than you expected. What a relief for you.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now