Teacher humiliating reception child for wetting pants

(62 Posts)
TalkingToTheWoodlice Fri 18-Jan-13 00:02:16

In front of the whole class. It's always wrong isn't it? However often the child does it and whether or not the teacher thinks it was avoidable. I know the answer really but I need galvanizing to report it.

Fanjango Fri 18-Jan-13 00:06:15

What did the teacher do? Many reception aged kids have accidents so teacher should be used to the protocol of what to do in this sort of circumstance.

TalkingToTheWoodlice Fri 18-Jan-13 00:11:02

Stood child up on carpet and berrated her not trying, making a mess, spreading germs. Left her to stand wet and crying for five minutes.

recall Fri 18-Jan-13 00:17:01

BASTARD TEACHER shock report !!

TomDudgeon Fri 18-Jan-13 00:17:26

My teacher did something similar to me when I was in the infants

Mrs Taylor you are a cow and I have never forgiven you

Fanjango Fri 18-Jan-13 00:18:16

Okay. I would take this up with the head. A child of this age needs to be treated with respect. If this happens often with the same child then maybe the teacher was losing their patience but that is still no excuse for poor management of a classroom situation.

WaynettaSlobsLover Fri 18-Jan-13 00:18:36

That's disgusting and the horrible teacher should be hauled in for a disciplinary. This can scar a child for life and is something they never forget. Poor poor little girl sad. Wtf is wrong with these 'professionals'? My dh is a teacher and would be horrified if he had read this.

DeepRedBetty Fri 18-Jan-13 00:18:45

You have to report this. Absolutely not on, for any child of any age.

Greensleeves Fri 18-Jan-13 00:20:13

That teacher should be out of that classroom quicker than Concorde

That is completely unforgiveable

This is one of those times when "maternally enraged gorilla" is the right approach!

Your poor little girl sad angry

tethersend Fri 18-Jan-13 00:23:26

As a teacher, I am horrified.

Complain. Loudly.

That teacher should not be working with children.

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 18-Jan-13 00:24:15

report. stay calm though.

when DS was 4 and in nursery he pooed his pants - and they left him in them all afternoon.
they said they thought it was sand. clearly you could smell it wasnt. when i complained the head told me he was "an animal who needed to be trained"

i removed him from that school very soon afterwards.

DeepRedBetty Fri 18-Jan-13 00:25:53

Vicar that's horrible.

How are you BTW?

TalkingToTheWoodlice Fri 18-Jan-13 00:28:03

The child wasn't mine. I observed the incident as a helper. I will speak to the head tomorrow. I hate conflict but I know I need to do something. If the head is dismissive does it warrant a call to OFSTED?

ThatVikRinA22 Fri 18-Jan-13 00:29:12

im muddling through thank you red! sort of. smile

it was horrible. thats why i moved him. i could have slapped that head teacher....he is not an animal. She never had kids....it showed!

DeepRedBetty Fri 18-Jan-13 00:34:48

Sorry Vicar you probably don't realise I'm someone else under a NC. (Knickers).. you were having some shit times last time we 'met'.

Woodlice shall we decide what to do if the Head is dismissive only if he IS dismissive? I'm a big fan of crossing bridges when I come to them.

tethersend Fri 18-Jan-13 00:38:06

If the head does nothing, phone the LA and speak to the safeguarding advisor.

Good on you for reporting.

colditz Fri 18-Jan-13 00:55:15

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

TheNebulousBoojum Fri 18-Jan-13 01:39:17

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KatieLily12 Fri 18-Jan-13 01:55:18

I think you need to discuss this with the head as a safeguarding issue. Completely unacceptable. I've been safeguarding officer in several schools & if its the case that the officer is separate to the head who turns out not to be very sympathetic, involve the officer too. Be calm but clear, this is not acceptable behaviour in any adult especially one lucky enough to have the opportunity to be in charge of children.

I loathe teachers who clearly do not care for children.

learnandsay Fri 18-Jan-13 08:58:13

The teacher needs a new job as a prison guard.

Yika Fri 18-Jan-13 09:02:30

Absolutely appalling. Definitely take it up with the head.

cogitosum Fri 18-Jan-13 09:04:11

This happened to me when I was about 6 (older than reception blush )

I still remember it now and feel shame so I'd say report. Looking back my mum wasn't happy I'd been humiliated and never liked the teacher (she still says that now) but I don't think reporting was really done in those days

auntevil Fri 18-Jan-13 09:45:56

Berating in front of the class is wrong - whatever the reason.
Just be aware that some smaller children do use toileting as a tool as it can be something they can control - but not always which is where knowing the child comes in to it.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Fri 18-Jan-13 09:56:33

OP - The teacher's behaviour is terrible and you should report it to the head. I'd be interested to hear what (s)he says.

Colditz and Nebulous - Can I just say how distasteful and inappropriate I find your comments about firebombing / taking a rifle into an infants' school. Especially in light of the recent events in the US. I find this way beyond a reasonable joke, especially on a serious thread on the Primary Ed board.

wheresthebeach Fri 18-Jan-13 12:18:40

Report it asap. That's appauling.
Agree with Ghoul....

Thats so awful, poor little thing, hope the HT does something.

Catsdontcare Fri 18-Jan-13 12:25:22

Tbh I would be tempted to shame the teacher face to face and loudly at school pick up and then march off to the head.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Fri 18-Jan-13 13:10:05

Thanks wheresthebeach - I've asked for the posts to be deleted but MNHQ say they are fine shock

hoodoo12345 Fri 18-Jan-13 13:46:11

I would go fucking mental if this happened to one of my kids because you never forget it, the humiliation.
I would be banging on the headmistresses door, demanding further action taken!
Takes me back in time 32 years to myself as a five year old and i can remember VERY clearly.
I hope you are dead Mrs Townsend.angry

ScalesAndMirrorsLie Fri 18-Jan-13 13:48:44

I would let shit fly if this happened to any of my dc

Not necessary at all

Yes, speak to the head. I would be making a complaint about the teacher and making sure the parent is informed too.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fizzylemonade Fri 18-Jan-13 14:34:03

It happened to my child in year 1, if they requested to leave a lesson to go to the stinking of piss toilet then their names were written in big writing on a board on the wall to humiliate them into staying in class. I thought it may have been for fire alarm reasons, alas, no sad

It worked, my son wet himself on several occasions. She was an NQT and I was fuming when I found out. I only found out because my son refused to go to school one day. Luckily we have an amazing head teacher who told my son he could go to the toilet whenever he wanted to.

Please report the teacher.

colditz Fri 18-Jan-13 16:01:57

Actually I was not joking. I really don't think I'd be able to restrain myself from violence if my child was abused in this way.

TalkingToTheWoodlice Fri 18-Jan-13 16:15:47

Spoke to head this morning. He asked me to "leave it with him to think about". I think I'll send an email recapping the conversation so there's something in writing. And then I'll hide from the teacher concerned in the playground.

HelenMumsnet (MNHQ) Fri 18-Jan-13 16:39:53


Thanks wheresthebeach - I've asked for the posts to be deleted but MNHQ say they are fine shock

Actually, we've had a change of heart here. We've deleted those posts: bit too soon after Sandy Hook and all that...

Euphemia Fri 18-Jan-13 17:52:02

Dreadful - any child wetting themself must be treated with compassion - no matter their age. Well done for reporting it.

I've had an 11 year-old wetting herself in class - it turned out she had a urine infection. Would that teacher have berated her?

TheNebulousBoojum Fri 18-Jan-13 18:11:27

Apologies, bad taste.

Pozzled Fri 18-Jan-13 20:35:19

OP, well done for talking to the head. Please do follow it up, the teacher needs to know it's not acceptable. My DD1 is in reception, and has had several wetting incidents recently, we think because of UTIs. Luckily her teacher and TAs are very kind and discreet and do the 'quick change and quiet chat with parents' that a poster above described.

I'm not sure what I would do if my DD was treated like the OP describes, but I would certainly lose any respect for that teacher.

TreadOnTheCracks Fri 18-Jan-13 21:18:32

Yes you must report.

You may never find out if anything happens though. I imagine the teacher would be spoken to. Tricky.

ledkr Fri 18-Jan-13 21:24:11

Report her how date she?
My ds poohed in reception and ds 1 happened to go into the loos for a wee and saw the nursery nurse scrubbing his skin with a paper towel and berating him. He was half naked in full view. Ds went mad and cleaned him up himself.
I complained but head wasn't bothered so I took all three if mine out.

Dozer Fri 18-Jan-13 21:55:22


Wolfiefan Fri 18-Jan-13 22:02:13

Children do have accidents. These should be dealt with discreetly and without humiliating them. There are safeguarding issues (eg one adult taking a child off to clean up) but this should not be dealt with publicly.

Vicar. That's awful. Lovely to "see" you about BTW!

educator123 Fri 18-Jan-13 22:25:59

This is awful my dd1 was only jsut four when starting in reception and had several accidents, i would have been so sad and angry if this had happened...to the point of considering movings schools.
Thank goodness the teachers were supportive at the time.

Poor child, its so sad that we leave our children at a school trusting them to be looked after and supported and there is a risk of this unreversible damage!

FeniaB Mon 21-Jan-13 11:43:32

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

pluCaChange Mon 21-Jan-13 11:57:23

Poor child! My DS's reception block has showers: that's how set up they are for accidents.

Leaving them wet - NOT ok, especially in this weather.
Leaving them crying - even worse.
Berating them - absolutely not.

The fact that it's not your child should make your position easier with the head.

Good luck.

happynewmind Mon 21-Jan-13 12:31:05

I would hit the roof.

I have worked in reception, its completely common for accidents to happen. even in year 1 and 2 I have cleaned them up, no fuss!

Dc1 has bladder issues and when she wet herself in school a couple of days running the school were most apologetic that she had not been noticed and given chance to change and that she had wet herself in first place and she is 10!

"Stood child up on carpet and berrated her not trying, making a mess, spreading germs. Left her to stand wet and crying for five minutes."

I would be complaining to the head, the governers and ofsted over this! I would want teacher to publically apologise and to face discipline.

Its things like this that cause bullying!

happynewmind Mon 21-Jan-13 12:39:30

Definately follow it up OP and make sure it is not swept under the carpet, my sen dd would not have told me this had happened but would have been heartbroken.

snowybrrr Mon 21-Jan-13 12:45:40

It depends.You were only there as a helper.You don't know the whole story wrt this child.

cory Mon 21-Jan-13 12:58:28

snowybrrr Mon 21-Jan-13 12:45:40
"It depends.You were only there as a helper.You don't know the whole story wrt this child. "

And what could the whole story be? Even if the child does have behavioural issues regarding toilet training, who with any insight into child behaviour would believe that those could be solved by public humiliation?

I agree with Cory, nothing the child has or has done can condone the teachers actions.

At dc school we have washing machine and tumble dryer so we can clean the children's clothes before they go home.

elliejjtiny Mon 21-Jan-13 13:05:39

That's awful, definately report it. Accidents happen in reception, DS2's teacher comes out with 2-3 carrier bags with wet pants in every day to hand out to the parents.

torychicetc Mon 21-Jan-13 14:25:42

Awful really awful could put a young child off enjoying school

steppemum Mon 21-Jan-13 14:32:01

my poor dd1 ws always having accidents in reception. The TA was lovley and looked after her and reminded her about going to the loo etc. I would have been heartbroken to have this humiliation for her. A child who repeatedly wets themselves needs help not telling off sad

That's awful sad poor child. Teacher in wrong job if she can't handle the odd accident it happens. Report!!!

Moominsarehippos Mon 21-Jan-13 14:40:43

What a shame! I peed my pants in year 1 all over my chair. It was at the end of the day and I very very carefully put my chair up on my table (as we did at the end of the day). No one ever told me off for it though!

happynewmind Mon 21-Jan-13 15:01:48

"snowybrrr Mon 21-Jan-13 12:45:40
It depends.You were only there as a helper.You don't know the whole story wrt this child

Its a four year old girl!
How on earth is standing a child on a carpet and leaving them wet for free minutes and humiliating them infront of their classmates going to do anything other than make the child more anxious and more likely to wet!

Children who have a huge deal made out of wetting either day or night take much longer to get dry because anxiety makes the situation MUCH worse.

snowybrrr Mon 21-Jan-13 15:49:48

You don't know the history of the child.Some kids wet because they can't be bothered to go to the toilet or because they want attention.The teacher may bw working with the parent/HV oe paediatrician and have been told to give no sympathy or positive attention to the child.

That's true no one does know the history but I think it is possible to not give positive attention without humiliating the child. Surely it would just involve not giving any attention at all. A quick clean up- no talking kind of thing.

cory Mon 21-Jan-13 16:26:17

snowybrrr Mon 21-Jan-13 15:49:48
"You don't know the history of the child.Some kids wet because they can't be bothered to go to the toilet or because they want attention.The teacher may bw working with the parent/HV oe paediatrician and have been told to give no sympathy or positive attention to the child. "

In that case she is hardly following instructions if she is ranting to the child about germs in front of the whole class. The paed will be fuming if he finds out. Is it possible that a teacher could be so stupid as to think this if carrying out instructions about not giving positive attention? I wouldn't like to think it.

Poor child, yes we don't know the whole story which is why we haven't all marched down there demanding the teacher resgin immediately (though we might like to). As a parent helper it is not the OP's place to be disciplining the teacher, but it is her duty to report to the head teacher, they can then discuss with the teacher the 'full situation' and devise an appropriate plan of action. As she has done, well done OP.


happynewmind Tue 22-Jan-13 14:41:22

When we were having problems consultant said not to make a big deal, to change and say nothing, no positive and no negative attention.

I can't imagine any consultant recommending a FOUR year old is humiliated infront of the whole class, anxiety makes it worse never Mind opening up to bullying.

I can't imagine ANY situation where this would be ok for a infant child.

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