Was this horribly pfb? (Reading related)

(36 Posts)
Spindelina Fri 07-Dec-12 07:09:05

Fil loves buying dd (4 months) tat gifts.

Most recent offering was a plastic spinner thing that, when it stopped on a letter, played a sound clip along the lines of "A. A is for apple" in a really irritating tinny, American voice

I was under the impression that learning the names of letters wasn't terribly helpful (especially e.g. W)

Was I being horribly pfb to get DH to see if fil still had the receipt?

Well given that she is 4 months old I doubt she will be aware of the letters just yet?
My PIL used to love buying stuff for dd when she was born. Some of it was not exactly to my taste but I would never have asked them to take it back.

Numberlock Fri 07-Dec-12 07:17:42

Yea that's rather rude. Allow him to enjoy spoiling his new grandchild for heaven's sake. Do you really believe this toy will have a negative impact on her GCSE results?

MrsJamin Fri 07-Dec-12 07:18:23

Wonderfully pfb! But I would probably have felt the same. I hate those electronic learn-the-letters things - I have yet to witness any child learn anything from them, so its just noise. I don't think I would ask for the receipt though.

FlourFace Fri 07-Dec-12 07:19:43


Melpomene Fri 07-Dec-12 07:22:17

YANBU to think it won't particularly help with learning to read.

YABU (and rude) to ask for the receipt back.

She's 4 months old, it'll be 3 years or so before she's ready to learn to read and by then the toy will probably be broken /worn out anyway. Just let her have fun pushing the buttons.

Sirzy Fri 07-Dec-12 07:29:03

All she will be interested is the pretty colours and funny noises! You are a long way off having to be worried about correct letter formation.

If it helps DS is just turned 3 and did (and still does) play with toys like that. He is also already starting to learn the phonic sounds for letters and enjoys doing so.

learnandsay Fri 07-Dec-12 08:54:15

A present is a present. If you don't like it then hang on to it for a while and later give it to a charity shop.

SunflowersSmile Fri 07-Dec-12 10:06:43

Oh how rude.. sounds like a thought out present.
Hope he wasn't upset...

expansivegirth Fri 07-Dec-12 10:09:51

Is this a joke?

If it's not apologise to your father in law, abjectly, thank him for the gift and explain you were being ridiculously PFB.

Spindelina Fri 07-Dec-12 10:45:55

That's what I thought (with the benefit of hindsight).

Oops. Will endeavour to make amends.

SunflowersSmile Fri 07-Dec-12 10:56:46

Just say you didn't realise how wonderful it was until you played with it yourself!

Spindelina Fri 07-Dec-12 11:22:57

Unfortunately it went back with the bearer in the bag it came in.

SunflowersSmile Fri 07-Dec-12 12:19:47

Oh dear. Going to be bit hard to make amends then...

EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin Fri 07-Dec-12 12:28:21


BarbarianMum Fri 07-Dec-12 12:39:38


Either: your 4 month old is learning to read. That's amazing.


you were rude PFB

Rudolphstolemycarrots Fri 07-Dec-12 14:02:48

I really wouldn't worry about it. The letters will be meaning less to your DD. If you do decide to teach her at home jolly phonics was great and in line with school teaching.

Rudolphstolemycarrots Fri 07-Dec-12 14:03:35

just let her enjoy the noises etc

DeWe Fri 07-Dec-12 14:06:00

Don't worry. My dc all had those dreadful toys. They all learnt the alphabet by phonic letter pronunciation first and were early readers.

Dd2 did do a great rendition of the alphabet song at age 18months-2 years. Spoilt the impression by asking loudly "Mummy what does MNOPQ (said em-no-peeque) mean?"

madwomanintheattic Fri 07-Dec-12 14:10:04

Too late Rudolph. She already gave it back...

Spin, any chance you can burst into tears dramatically next time you see fil, apologise, tell him you were having a really bad day through lack of sleep and ask if he's still got it, as you realize you were being completely ridiculous?

You can both laugh about in a few years when dd really starts school...

If it helps, my pfb learnt her letters at 18 mos (don't ask. I went away for the weekend), and despite disparaging comments at our first pre yr r parent's meeting about the importance of not learning names but sounds, she's still considered gifted at nearly 13. grin howzat for pfb? grin <at 4 mos I was still singing her the alaphabet song in tears as it was all my sleep addled brain could remember and I was desperate for her to sleep - she didn't sleep in the day, ever, at all, from birth.>

4 mos. tee hee.

TheSecondComing Fri 07-Dec-12 14:13:01

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BornToFolk Fri 07-Dec-12 14:15:09

Ha, TSC, I was just about to say the same thing! Reading related...honestly!

OhThisIsJustGrape Fri 07-Dec-12 14:21:51

All PFB comments aside, my dd knew all the letter names before starting school as my eldest DD taught her them one afternoon.

It didn't matter a jot when she started in reception, she very quickly picked up the phonic sounds and she is top of her class for reading.

4 months grin

MrsJamin Fri 07-Dec-12 14:23:21

OP, I can't believe you didn't accept a toy for a child that's not even eating food yet because it wasn't phonically accurate. If there were PFB awards this would have to be in MN's top 3 surely? And yes - Primary education - brilliant.

DeckTheHallsWithBartimaeus Fri 07-Dec-12 14:53:47


This is a good one. I was expecting some sort of book colour scheme OP.

Agree with PP that babies just like pushing buttons with lights and sounds.

When DS was 3 months my MIL gave him an "educational" toy thingy which makes animal sounds, and on different settings asks you to press to show the picture with 3 animals, or the grey animals etc confused It's aimed at 18 months+

We put it away and only got it out recently (he's 14months). He has no clue what it's doing but loves hitting the buttons and standing on it

Maybe suggest that FIL (or you) keep it tucked away for in a years or two time?

Bunnyjo Fri 07-Dec-12 17:24:20

I'm just puzzled as to how this is reading related or about Primary Education confused

OP, you are not just PFB, your reaction was downright rude. Your poor FIL sad

Your poor FIL sad

sh77 Fri 07-Dec-12 17:38:22

Rude indeed. You may think his gifts are tat, but what about the time and effort he put into choosing and buying something? I say this as someone whose own mother gave her grandson his first present 20 months after he was born. She is the most tight- fisted woman on the planet and I felt it that she couldn't be bothered to spend even 1 pound on him (despite a wardrobe full of chanel handbags and shoes). Appreciate your fil's gesture instead of behaving like a brat yourself.

headinhands Fri 07-Dec-12 18:12:14

As far as I am aware they do need to know the names of the letters and the pure sounds they make which is basically the old way of making the sound but without the unhelpful schwa noise on the end. Is that right? And anyway it doesn't matter now as dc won't be paying much attention will she?

SleighbellsRingInYourLife Fri 07-Dec-12 18:20:11


I was thinking "well, if you managed to steer a child to 4 years of age without learning the letter names, might be worth hiding the toy".

Then realised the baby in question is younger than my baby! grin

She can barely hold a rattle, never mind learn the names of the letters.

"I hate those electronic learn-the-letters things - I have yet to witness any child learn anything from them, so its just noise."

DD2 got a "laptop" for SIL last Christmas at 22 months.

2 days later she had memorised every letter name.

Having totally failed to get DD1 to nursery without knowing her ay bee cees, DD2 was my great phonics hope.

Damn you SIL <shakes fist> grin

HappyMummyOfOne Fri 07-Dec-12 18:42:35

Your poor FIL. Are you that rude to everyone?

If you dont like a gift, then be gracious and donate later to charity.

If you are this precious re education now at least your childs future techers will have a great topic of conversation in the staffroom.

AppleOgies Fri 07-Dec-12 19:15:37

You have your FIL his gift back... You don't have PFB, you're just rude!

AppleOgies Fri 07-Dec-12 19:15:57

Gave not have!

Hilarious - amazingly PFB!

Molehillmountain Fri 07-Dec-12 19:59:12

You were being pfb about it. But everyone has moments like that. I am making sure I remember as many as possible of mine so that I don't get cross with the dc if and when they have their own pfb with moments to match.

Wigeon Fri 07-Dec-12 21:08:59

If you rejected the present on the basis that it would be unhelpful for your (4 month old) DD in learning to read, then yes, very PFB and YABU.

If you rejected the present actually because it was a horrible bit of plastic tat (and somehow you thought that it would be a more acceptable reason for rejecting it to talk about the impact on DD's reading), then YA also BU because the correct answer to being given a present, not matter how vile, is always always "thank you very much, how kind of you, what a nice thought". Then "lose" it and give to the nearest charity shop.

But a tiny bit of credit to starting a thread in which you clearly already realise you were probably being unreasonable! And you are no doubt rather sleep deprived and hormonal.

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