How do you deal with homework reluctance?

(35 Posts)
decktheballs Sun 18-Nov-12 18:05:13

Ds1 is 7 and in primary 3. He gets a reading book, some questions to answer on it and an art or mathematic task every week. Handed out on Fridays and to be handed in on Wednesdays.
He is good at reading and numbers, struggles a bit with his writing.
No matter what part of his homework I try and get him to do, he refuses.
I obviously do it with him but it takes forever. Tonight he was answering three questions on the book he read to me yesterday, it took him almost an hour!
I have two other dc and dh works a lot.
Has anyone else experienced this and if so do you have any advice?
Tia

SrirachaGirl Sun 18-Nov-12 18:15:40

I have the same with my seven year old DS. The only thing that works is to try to get it out of the way early in the afternoon/weekend and making some later treat conditional upon the completion of the task. So after he gets a home from school he has a snack and then has to do homework/reading before he is allowed to watch tv/play wii/call on a friend etc. I try to plan that time into my day to sit with him because unlike my other two he will not just sit and "get on with it", even though he's perfectly capable. You could also try filling a basket with cool stickers/temporary tattoos for him to choose from once he's finished his homework without straying from the task. I found that after we'd established the routine, things got much easier. Good Luck!

decktheballs Sun 18-Nov-12 19:19:26

He has stickers as a incentive for something else so I'll try the temporary tattoos, thank you.

MarianForrester Sun 18-Nov-12 19:23:26

I just leave it if they really won't do it. They are young, at school for hours each day, just not worth it in my book. I write in the homework book to explain.

Life should be fun, not a drudge, when you are a child. Plenty of other fun activities for after school: music, baking, playing smile

SoupDragon Sun 18-Nov-12 19:27:50

Once mine got to Y3, I had an agreement with their teacher that I would do a damn good job of encouraging them to do their homework but if it didn't get done, I was more than happy for them to take the consequences. I was fed up with the battles, the shouting and, on occession, the weeping.

decktheballs Sun 18-Nov-12 19:54:14

If he would actually try at it I think it would take us an hour tops which I think is reasonable for his age.
It's not only the doing it he doesn't like, I've to check every week at home time he's handed it in and then more often than not he hasn't.

Acinonyx Sun 18-Nov-12 19:57:42

Oh yes. 7 yr-old dd yr 3 with similar. It is given Wed for Monday. We have done half of the maths and none of the other. hmm If she does not do her homework she does not get her pocket money (we are also already using stickers elsewhere).

I'm still working on a routine but we haven't hit on a good one yet. I do resent the time spent on this. I don't in theory, think it's a bad idea to get into a homework routine. But one of the homeworks in particular, often strikes me as especially pointless.

Ruprekt Sun 18-Nov-12 20:00:34

I give mine one chance to sit with me to do the homework and then they are on their own.

IF it doesnt get done then they go to homework club to get it done on their own in their lunch hour!

It has worked so far.......................

Choufleur Sun 18-Nov-12 20:02:33

Bribery - just made DS a homework sticker chart today. If he does 10mins of homework (reading, spellings, maths, whatever) he gets a sticker. 30 stickers = a skylander.

lljkk Sun 18-Nov-12 20:09:49

Mine have to do HW to get computer-game time. This rule goes from 4yo DS to 13yo DS. I just have to do things that way to incentivise 13yo so applies to the rest, too.

ByTheWay1 Sun 18-Nov-12 20:15:44

We have the opposite problem now DD is in Y7 - be VERY careful what you wish for....

she just spent most of the weekend doing an energy saving house project - built a model, researched data on cost savings, drew up tables and graphs, "interviewed" me on whether I'd live there etc - this is for a little project they were given to do over the weekend... (on top of an hour of Maths, "decorating" a poem and a geography word search). She wants to do well, so keeps adding stuff to her project - trouble is the teacher keeps doing the "well done" thing, so we get no time with her..... it is a double edged sword really...

omletta Sun 18-Nov-12 20:25:16

I have no advise but do have sympathy - HW is the biggest cause of stress in our house, I've done shouting, screaming, crying, rewarding and not caring, all of it stressful.

Unfortunately DS (yr6) seems to do very little actual learning at school, lots of sport, music, art but very little literacy, so the small amount of homework which he gets really matters IMO

decktheballs Sun 18-Nov-12 21:25:17

I might speak to the teacher, he has other issues at school though so I too think the small amount he has to do at home will benefit him.
We do always get it done, its just the moaning, nagging and occasionally tears too that I don't like.
I'm a full time student and have explained I get homework too, it helps me learn things and I always feel better when I know I've done it.

3b1g Sun 18-Nov-12 21:31:22

For the younger ones (8 year olds) I encourage them to get into the routine of doing homework first then the 'fun' stuff (television etc). For the older ones (10 and 12) I stay completely out of it and let them suffer the consequences at school if they don't complete the homework on time.

Taffeta Sun 18-Nov-12 21:31:58

DS (9, Y4 ) is slowly getting better about homework. He was awful last year.

This year, he knows he has to do it the day he gets it. We agreed he could do his after school activity, which is 4 x week, if he did his homework on the day he got it.

He's much better about it this year. We do it on a day when DD is at after school sports, so its quiet, he has a snack and a drink whilst he does it, and I am around if he has questions, but I am not doing it for him.

The agreement now is that if he can do the homework calmly and without getting stressed or rushing it, he gets rewarded. This usually involves time on his iPod.

So for us what works is:

- calm without sibling around
- structured time to do it, same every week
- energy level OK - so food and drink
- as soon as he's in from school so is in work mode still

3b1g Sun 18-Nov-12 21:35:46

Just read your post properly. In Y3 I wouldn't expect them to spend more than about 15 to 20 minutes per day. Encourage him to complete as much as he can in the time and then sign the book or worksheet to say where he got to and the amount of time he spent. At that age, after 30 minutes I think you're going to have diminishing returns! I know it's frustrating when they're slow workers (my DD is one), it does improve with time and practice.

ChablisLover Sun 18-Nov-12 21:36:46

Watching with interest

Ds is in p2 and its a battle constantly

We get homework on Monday approximately 8/ 10pages of numeracy and literacy. And a reading book.

It has to be back in Fridays

I tried to do a wee bit every night but as the week progresses he gets more and more tired and reluctant

So last week I tried to do most of it say all but 2 pages on a Monday afternoon. When I have. Half day which them leaves 3 nights to do the rest of it.
It worked no arguments
So trying again this week but will probably not work now

I know everyone is different but I try and get him to do the work first and then do something fun like playdoh or baking

gussiegrips Sun 18-Nov-12 21:37:21

I'm watchign this hred with interest - we ahve 3 kids, P5, P3 and P1. P5 gets a lot of homework, most of which seems to be done by the child's parents...

seriously, last week "research 5 indian animals" was done on POWERPOINT by 3 of the kids in her class! I do not believe that any 8 year old is able to write a powerpoint progamme, save it on a USB and plug that in to a smart board...

Teachers - you've got them for 7 hours in the day. isn't that long enough to educate them? Is their education going to be enhanced by me shouting at them or confusing them or nagging at them?

I don't undersand homework.

Taffeta Sun 18-Nov-12 21:39:14

Blimey, 10 pages? 30 mins per day?

DS has one literacy piece and one maths ( plus reading, spellings, times tables which I don't count in that ). The maths takes him 5 mins tops, and the literacy anything from 5 mins to 30 mins.

But that is once per week.

I don't know how he'd cope with 10 pages a week, TBH.

3b1g Sun 18-Nov-12 21:39:53

I agree with Chablis that mine become more reluctant as the week progresses, so we try to do slightly more on Mondays / Tuesdays / Wednesdays so that by the end of the week when they are tired, there isn't much left to do.

ReallyTired Sun 18-Nov-12 21:40:16

It gets easier as the child gets older and needs less supervision.

I found the best way to get home work done is to say no TV or computer or Wii until the home work done. I set a timer for twenty minutes and if ds has not done the homework by then he gets punished at school.

Many schools have a homework club which I think is a glorious idea.

Brycie Sun 18-Nov-12 21:41:40

Yes, I wouldn't do it. They shouldn't need homework and should be doing it in school anyway. It's a failure of the national curriculum that homework is required.

I would take all homework pressure off and just read a load of books to him.

3b1g Sun 18-Nov-12 21:42:17

DS2 had Asperger's so takes instructions literally. If he were asked to research 5 animals then he would do just that, in his head, unless he was specifically told to make notes or prepare a presentation! grin

3b1g Sun 18-Nov-12 21:43:13

Sorry, typo, of course he still has it.

Taffeta Sun 18-Nov-12 21:45:17

Over-involved parents doing their children's homework really pisses me off. Children in DS's class getting stickers and plaudits for their parents' work. You think you've left that all behind at Kindergarten with those ridiculous Easter Bonnet competitions......hmm

Taffeta Sun 18-Nov-12 21:48:02

Some of the homework is bollocks, and you do feel its just a reiteration of what has been done in class, that they ran out of time to do. Last year, in Y3, he had the same piece of literaqcy homework for 6 weeks, they just changed the the sounds. It was shockingly poor.

But other pieces are actually quite good, and make for interesting discussion and learning. They vary at DS's school.--it seems to depend massively on the teacher--

Brycie Sun 18-Nov-12 21:51:14

Taffeta I think they often do it because the children don't want to, too tired, aren't interested, whatever. But they don't want their children to get into trouble for not doing it. I've done loads of my children's pointless homework. I tested them on the subject, made sure they knew the facts then went ahead and made the stupid model of, whatever, a plant cell, an oxbow lake, who cares. If they know all about it why make a model? Sadly I usually got a B or worse. I was about as interested in it as they were. Fifteen minute time limit and bob's your uncle.

exoticfruits Sun 18-Nov-12 21:53:29

It isn't your problem. I just said to mine 'fine, don't do it but you explain to Miss X' - since they knew they would be in trouble and have to miss a playtime to catch up they just got on and did it. If you have a teacher who just let's them get away with it my advice won't work- you need a real dragon!

Brycie Sun 18-Nov-12 21:55:10

Yes they shouldn't have to miss playtime. Detention for homework for year 2? The world's gone mad.

exoticfruits Sun 18-Nov-12 21:57:25

I can't say that they would have missed it- they didn't want to be in trouble so they did it. I am talking about juniors- they didn't have ant in the infants.

exoticfruits Sun 18-Nov-12 21:57:51

OP is juniors.

cece Sun 18-Nov-12 21:59:42

I got fed up with the arguments so one day Itold DS1 to put his work back in his back and not to do it. I then wrote a letter to his teacher explaining that he had refused to do it. I got a letter back the next day saying she had spoken to him. He now does his homework.

exoticfruits Sun 18-Nov-12 22:03:14

Exactly cece- it is the DCs problem- they just try and make it yours! Give them ownership and let them take the consequences.

LittleTyga Sun 18-Nov-12 22:07:09

Had this with my eldest - my youngest doesn't need any encouragement! She loves homework! But DD1 would leave it until the last minute and we were all getting stressed until one day I turned around and said look - it's your homework, if you don't do it you're the one in trouble not me and I never mentioned it again - sometimes she does it sometimes she doesn't but whatever she either does it playtime or at home - now we are a sea of calmness in our home smile

3b1g Sun 18-Nov-12 22:31:03

And as for the comments I have to write in all their reading records three times a week...

But maybe I should save that for another thread.

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