DS wants to wear girls uniform - do I let him?

(41 Posts)
BedHog Tue 13-Nov-12 11:01:59

My DS is in Reception at school. The uniform, like a lot of schools, is made up of various items of clothing which can be mixed and matched. One of the items is a cardigan made from sweatshirt type fabric. DS has said he'd prefer this to the standard sweatshirt.

I had a word with his teacher and she said she has only ever seen the cardigans being worn by girls. Normally I'm very much of the opinion that people should wear what they like regardless of gender, but in this case I'm not sure if it would lead to teasing if he was the only boy in school in a cardy. I've explained to DS that the cardigans are usually for girls, like skirts and pinafores etc., but he is still insistent that he wants to wear one.

What would you do? Shall I buy him a cardigan? confused

lljkk Tue 13-Nov-12 11:02:52

yes if he's an eldest child, no if he had older siblings who will notice that "Jack's little brother is wearing a girl shirt."

HeathRobinson Tue 13-Nov-12 11:03:59

Could you borrow a cardigan from lost property at school to try out before buying one?

coppertop Tue 13-Nov-12 11:05:22

I know of a couple of boys at our local school who wear cardigans. They're usually hand-knitted ones rather than shop-bought ones but I don't think anyone thinks there's anything odd about it.

AnnIonicIsoTronic Tue 13-Nov-12 11:07:02

My DS wears a cardigan - One of his fave tops - and definitely made for boys since its black and blue sweatshirt material.

I say go with what he's comfortable. It'll mainly be used to line the lost property basket anyway.

Pannacotta Tue 13-Nov-12 11:07:06

Quite a few boys at DS2's primary wear cardigans.
I would let him wear one, but good idea to borrow one from lost property first perhaps?

BedHog Tue 13-Nov-12 11:07:12

I have a younger DD so could always save the cardigan for her if DS changes his mind. I just don't want him to become known as 'the boy who wore girls clothes to school'!!

insertsomethingwitty Tue 13-Nov-12 11:07:48

There is a boy in my daughters year 1 class who wears a school cardigan. No one has ever made any comment at all about it.

AnnIonicIsoTronic Tue 13-Nov-12 11:08:50

He wears it with a polo shirt - tbh (if anything) the look is more football hooligan than sissy! He thinks pullover jumpers are for squares.

Strictly speaking it isn't girls uniform. It is uniform which boys tend not to choose. A huge difference imo and on that basis I would allow him but accept that he may not wear it much (but not a huge problem if you have younger girls.

BedHog Tue 13-Nov-12 11:10:40


I would let him wear it. I don't really think cardigans are only for girls.

AnnIonicIsoTronic Tue 13-Nov-12 11:10:50
uggmum Tue 13-Nov-12 11:11:36

I thought you were going to say he wanted to wear a skirt grin

My ds would wear a cardigan. I would do what they say above and look to borrow one first and if he wears it then you can buy one.

redskyatnight Tue 13-Nov-12 11:13:18

Lots of boys at DD's school wear cardigans. I don't think the ones made out of the sweatshirt material are particularly feminine (in fact DD won't wear one of these because they are not girly enough).

timetosmile Tue 13-Nov-12 11:13:58

Is it because the classroom is so warm?
DS3 of the same age wears thinner v-necked standard knitted type jumpers as the round necked swatshirts are so stifling (and faffy to get over a head in a rush after PE!)
But it's not 'girl's' uniform and at that age they're not too aware of what their classmates are wearing..you've got all that to look forward to in the juniors grin

trockodile Tue 13-Nov-12 11:19:00

You should let him wear it and the teacher should be prepared to back him up with the class if necessary. Lots of men wear cardigans, it's not an issue.
7 year old DS goes to German school with no uniform- his favourite trousers at the mo are Boden checked ones and he had some comments about why was he wearing pyjamas! He told them that they are comfy AND warm and he will be laughing at them when they are cold with sore tummies from their buttons(he has gone massively off adjustable waist trousers and says they are sore!) Teacher backed him up though, and I was proud that he didn't give into peer pressure-other kids don't care now!

AlienRefluxovermypoppy Tue 13-Nov-12 11:23:10

Let him wear it, if he gets unbearably teased, he can stop, but I also think I would be proud he is his own person.

GoldenPeppermintCreams Tue 13-Nov-12 13:23:21

It sounds like the cardigan at my son's school. i have seen one or two boys wearing them. It's not like they are frilly or with flowers on them!

I'm a rebel and send my son in wearing a v neck knitted jumper as they are easier for him to take off, and not as hot or bulky, and look smarter. Is that an option for you?

Houseworkprocrastinator Tue 13-Nov-12 13:47:06

don't boys clothes button the opposite way to girls clothes? (something to do with drawing swords many years ago? does the uniform shop do a "boys" cardigan? that way if anyone asks or makes fun he can point out the difference. he might even be a trend setter. smile

Ephiny Tue 13-Nov-12 13:55:18

I thought it was going to be a dress/skirt too. I don't see the problem really, sounds like it's basically the same sweatshirt just with buttons/zip on the front?

nickelrocketgoBooooooom Tue 13-Nov-12 13:58:54

I would let him wear the cardigan.

no problems.

I might have drawn the line at a skirt (because it would look like piss-taking)

nickelrocketgoBooooooom Tue 13-Nov-12 14:07:31

Housework - yes, that's the way it's supposed to be, but DD has a sleepsuit from asda that so girlish (pink, minnie mouse, frilly) that's done up the boys' way....

lynniep Tue 13-Nov-12 14:18:05

sounds like DS1s cardi too. It is dark purple, but sweatshirt fabric with fleecy lining. Same as the actual sweatshirt, but that has a high round neck not a v-neck like the cardi. Its pretty unisex, but only the girls wear them. If my DS wanted to wear it, I would let him.

BedHog Tue 13-Nov-12 16:03:50

I think I'll get him one then if he mentions it again. It isn't a 'girly' garment as you say, if I saw it in the shop I would think it was unisex. It's just the fact that no boys in the school wear them, and a lot of girls do.

I probably would have to put my foot down at a skirt or pinny dress though!! Or a nice pair of Mary-Janes!!grin

anothercuppaplease Tue 13-Nov-12 16:41:31

At our school, the cardigan is quite boyish and most boys wear the jumper and most girls wear the cardigan (or a shop-bought cardigan of same colour) but some boys wear the cardi and vice versa. Both my boys did wear the cardigan in nursery and reception they liked it as it was easier to take off for PE! but now in year 1 and 2 they wear jumpers.

There is one boy at school who insists to wear girl shoes, so his mum bought him girl's lace ups and they look quite nice.

UniS Tue 13-Nov-12 19:35:55

DS wears zip cardigans ( otherwise known as hoodies) . A few boys do wear cardis knitted or sweatshirt type. Plenty of girls wear sweatshirts.

As you have a DD buy one. It'll get used while it fits each of them.

Tallylo Tue 13-Nov-12 19:52:07

In my school a number of boys wear them, I don't think they are for girls but simply an alternative. Far more practical IMO

minnyhaha Tue 13-Nov-12 21:04:51

Are you serious? Are you mad? Seriously he'll be teased to death at some stage. If he wanted to wear a skrit would you let him? If his teacher is telling you that ALL the boys wear sweat shirts or whatever then listen up! The unsaid message is- do not make your child stand out like a sore thumb, for any reason.

We know that some boys wear cardis- though I can't think of many except very elderly uncles- but if it's not the done thing then think of him- don't rationalise it. At 4 he should be doing what his parents think is right for him- not what he wants.

Clary Wed 14-Nov-12 00:52:26

No it's not a good idea.

He wil be teased, I am sorry, and I know people say "children will always find something to tease about" yes maybe, but why give them a handle?

If anyone else wore them in school then maybe, but it sounds like they don't. I see I am in the minority here but most people who say yes also say lots of boys wear them at their school.

Ok, I'm not usually one for letting little boys wear girls clothes but seriously, cardy? I would let him if it were me. my dd wears those sweatshirt material cardys so I know the ones you mean and they are not girly.

coldcupoftea Wed 14-Nov-12 06:56:04

I agree, we have similar cardigans and they are not girly at all, although in our school the girls do tend to wear cardigans.

We also has a school zip-up fleece, they seem to be worn by both boys and girls. If you are worried he will be teased, do your school do a fleece unstead?

PixieHat Wed 14-Nov-12 07:13:14

At my daughter's school, the girls wear cardigans and the boys wear sweatshirts.

Except that a few of the boys wear the cardigans and a few of the girls wear sweatshirts.

Both made out of that sweatshirt material with the school logo embroidered on.

No one bats an eyelid smile

Chopstheduck Wed 14-Nov-12 07:20:41

He is 4, let him have the cardy!

A few children will make comments, and then it will all blow over, and no one will bat an eyelid. It is secondary where he will be teased mercilessly and his life made a misery!

Is he confident in general?

my ds1 was the first boy to wear a dress to Pink Day, year 3 - I wasn't sure about letting him and he got a real ribbing! But he started a trend, and by year 6, there were that many boys wearing dresses that he decided to go as a flying pig with glittery wings instead!
My twins are the only ones that wear plain red jumpers from M&S instead of the horrid acrylic school sweatshirts. Half the price and twice as smart. A few kids asked them why, and then it was dropped, and no more said.
DT2 had long hair for years, and was asked several times if he was a girl. He just shrugged it off and looked at the askers as if they had lost their marbles!

Children should be encouraged to have the confidence to buck the trend, and express themselves!

Chopstheduck Wed 14-Nov-12 07:21:01

isn't secondary

MegBusset Wed 14-Nov-12 07:43:43

I have seen plenty of boys at DS1's school wearing cardigans. I fail to see why they shouldn't be worn by either gender.

minnyhaha Wed 14-Nov-12 14:24:41

OP have you made a decision yet?

I think some posters are missing the point: which is that NO boys in his class wear cardis. It's pointless all you other posters saying "In my child's school they each wear cardis and sweatshirts." The point is in THIS boy's class they DON'T!

And it's silly to say he won't be teased because he's only 4- and not at sec school. Younger children can be every bit as cruel.

You need to pick your battles- there are kids who are teased about things they can't control such as being " a ginger" or having sticky out teeth or sticky out ears- why make his life potentially miserable when it's something so easily sorted?

minnyhaha Wed 14-Nov-12 14:27:42

I'm actually a bit puzzled really as to how the matter of " choice" arose. confusedOP . Did you show him each in a shop, or what? Or has he seen other children wearing them and not noticed the gender differences?
When my kids were 4 I just bought them the uniform while they were at nursery.- choice wasn't something they were involved in.

Dd1 prefers the cardy because it doesn't mess her hair as she doesn't have to pull it over her head. I guess that's some sort of choice? Tbh I don't care what she wears as long as it looks smart and I didn't miss the point, none of the boys in dd's school wear the cardy but if I had a son I would let him wear it, I don't think it looks girly at all.

Also she often ears it open if she gets a bit hot but doesn't have to take it off alltogether and get too cold. I think they're great and I'm surprised more parents don't buy them for boys or girls tbh. Not even many of the girls wear them in dd's school, she's more or less the only one.

Mrskbpw Wed 14-Nov-12 15:44:34

I was just wishing the other day that my son had a cardi actually. Why not let him wear it. He won't be teased. They won't even notice.

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