DS1's report - seems to be worse each year.....

[toccatanfudge]

academically he's doing well, he's either above expected levels or within them. And some fabulous comments about the standard of work when he does get it done.

BUT in the last few years he's gone from

"day dreaming during lessons that aren't his favourites" (or words to that effect)

last year - easily distracted and often ends up rushing work when he realises the consequences for not finishing are looming. So although achieving well not doing as well as he could

To this year, easily distracted and is now disrupting others in his class as well.

He's 9 1/2 - about to go up to YR5

Feels like a huge downward spiral and I have visions of next year or the year after him being disruptive in class and not achieving well academically either.

WTF do you do with a temperamental, stubborn 9yr old that seems to be on a self destruct button at school?????

[mumto3boys]

Ooh I have one of those, only he's now 13 and about to go into year 9.

This year's parents evening and report were the worst yet. I have tried and tried since reception to sort it out. Sometimes it works for a week or so then its back to normal.

The main problem seems to be, for us anyway, as he is bright he is achieving what he should, with only a half arsed effort at best. Altho a pain, his behaviour isn't bad enough for exclusion or anything so the schools just sort of let them get on with it.

Now he's older this year I have been really worried. So I contacted the head of year and had him put on report. Only a slight imrpovement. so at his school you have to collect their reports personally, with the child and go through them with the form tutor. I got the head of year to come too who gave him the biggest bollocking ever. The type of thing I have done over and over for years but the schools have never done.

She told him he has til oct to sort it out and if things are still bad, he will go to the deputy head and he will be excluded.

He was MORTIFIED. and all of a sudden we have improvement. I don't know how long it will last but the effort is definitely there, and he is provng to himself that he can work hard.

I realised that all through primary, altho he got told off, the teachers always liked him so were very positive etc to him. This one tore strips off him which was horrid to watch, but I feel if similar had been done in reception (but in a more age appropriate way) he would never have got as bad.

You can punish them to within an inch of their lives at home (I don't mean physically BTW) but for these type of boys they need to hear it from someone else in authority.

I would seek out the scariest, dominant teacher you can, give them the go ahead andget them to do similar. They need to make it clear there are no excuses etc.

I really feel for you, we are in the same boat and have no idea if this improvement will last.

I do feel slightly vindicated by the fact that my other boys are angels!

[toccatanfudge]

thanks mumto3, it's a bit late in the term now for a bollocking at school to do much good. But may try your suggestion at the start of next school year - he has a new teacher (whose name he doesn't recognise and as it's a small school we're assuming she's new to the school) and there's a new head teacher starting in September as well.

[katiestar]

Oh FGS what boy pays attention to lessons he isn't interested in? i wouldn't worry

[toccatanfudge]

well sorry but I am worried as he is not just easily distracted - but he's disrupting others in the classs.

If you think that a nearly 10yr old disrupting lessons is ok - then that's your opinion - but I'm not happy with it.

[katiestar]

The disrupting bit isn't good, I agree.

[toccatanfudge]

well that's my concern - that he's gone from day dreaming, to being distracted, to occasionally joining in with the disruptive behaviour - and now actually starting the disruption...........

[SE13Mummy]

I think I'd be inclined to ask to meet with the new teacher either before the end of term/exchange e-mails/at the very start of term (maybe even first thing on an INSET day) so it's clear to your DS and to the teacher that you are serious about helping him to get back on track at school and that disrupting others is unacceptable... as a teacher I'd be delighted that a parent was taking the disruption so seriously; this past week I've had a parent tell me I'm lying for saying that her child disrupts others, accuse me of making things up when I report that the child rolls around the carpet/calls out rude comments without provocation and that if any of it is true it is my fault for victimising the child!

This particular child is always hard work and every teacher says so but few follow the behaviour policy through to the point that a report is made to the parent hence the complaint that the behaviour is my fault! If this parent worked with the school instead of against us chances are the child would be doing much better.

Your DS is lucky to have a parent who is taking this so seriously and whilst he'll never thank you for it, his teachers probably will!