Parent's evening: the unspoken word!

(25 Posts)
OrmRenewed Tue 23-Mar-10 21:06:59

DD: is doing very well indeed. Very pleased. Pleasure to have in the class etc etc. On target for level 5s in SATs. The unspoken word in her case being 'as usual'.

DS#2 is 'doing very well'. The unspoken word being 'considering'. Considering that he is way behind all the other children, he wants to be an animal all the time and he hasn't quite mastered the art of listening to what the teacher says. But who cares. He's getting there.

For 2 kids brought up in the same family they are almost 100% different.

PixieOnaLeaf Tue 23-Mar-10 21:26:46

I've never been to a parents' evening where there hasn't been some sort of undertone. At DD1's, they always take a very 'not that she needs to do well academically' tone, which I really hope they don't take with her, because even if everything goes to plan, she will have to get a normal job at some point.

Well done you both of yours, by the way!

Littlefish Tue 23-Mar-10 21:36:27

I was told that dd (5yrs old and in reception) was "bright, but not pushing herself enough"!!!! Apparently, she is "rushing her work because she wants to go and play".

shock angry

No shit Sherlock. She's 5, and in her first year at school and you wonder why she wants to play!

A friend of mine was told, by the same teacher about her ds "well, he's not academic, but as long as he's happy, that's alright, isn't it."

Funnily enough, I'm going to see the headteacher next week.

lovecheese Tue 23-Mar-10 22:06:23

Pixie - why? are you minted or something?

Rebeccaj Tue 23-Mar-10 22:10:45

Orm -this is so going to be me in a year or so! DD, currently reception - loves school, her idea of fun is phonics workbooks smile. DS, going up in Sept - not so much grin. He'll be the one in the playground playing trains regardless of what they want him to do...

PixieOnaLeaf Tue 23-Mar-10 22:25:05

lovecheese - No, DD has got a place at a ballet school which she will be going to for Sixth Form. The school have taken the attitude that she doesn't need the work since she will be dancing for a career, which is totally the wrong way to look at it, as far as I can see. It only takes one broken ankle and any career she might have had is over.

seeker Tue 23-Mar-10 22:50:10

I have always amused myself at my children's parents evenings and when reading their reports by looking for the hidden teacher-speak sentence which, if spoken my a non teacher, would read "This child is doing very well, but would do even better if he/she would shut^^up for 5 minutes" It's always there!

OrmRenewed Wed 24-Mar-10 10:34:45

Thinking back, DS1's unspoken word was 'lazy'. One teacher got as far as 'so laidback he's horizontal' but never the lazy word.

Numberfour Wed 24-Mar-10 10:51:06

we were told DS (5) shows leadership qualities. i replied: yes, he is very bossy.

and he is.

i suppose there is always an undertone of some sort.

mrsflowerpot Wed 24-Mar-10 10:55:59

With DS I fear the unspoken word is probably 'gobby'. Suspect it would not have been unspoken if his teacher didn't like him as much as she clearly does.

We had ours last night too - again, we appear to have 2 children that might as well have sprung from entirely different genetic pools and households.

GooseyLoosey Wed 24-Mar-10 11:00:22

With dd, there is always the undertone that they have actually had to remind themselves who she is (very quiety).

With ds, the undertone is that they would prefer to forget (mouthy).

i as told last week that dd was 'independant' hmm.... teacherese for 'stubborn little minx'

we also discussed the fact that 'she isn't very interested in reading but is a social little girl with lots of friends', so in other words 'would rather be playing and hatting than learning'

the main unspoken word was 'ditzy' though grin

emy72 Wed 24-Mar-10 13:49:56

this thread really cheered me up!
Mine was "has a really strong sense of whats right or wrong", ie pita tells tales a lot!!

CantSupinate Wed 24-Mar-10 14:36:25

I sent DH off to Parents' evenings this year.
He came back from hearing about DS1-DS2 with the summary "Anger management all 'round!"

The bigger situation is not as bad as perhaps that sounds, but was kinda funny.

Meanwhile, DD (y3) voluntarily gives up her playtime to help out the ladies in the dinner hall, when she's not doing clever-clogs clubs and activities at lunchtime.

DH & I have "interesting" conversation about which child takes after who grin.

Mrsdoasyouwouldbedoneby Wed 24-Mar-10 16:34:59

We had *DS is a physical learner*.... this did make me chuckle!! They said that they are *working with this, to help him get along*. In other words, keeping his mind and body busy so he focuses and sits still for more than 10 seconds!.

Ds1 always gets something along the lines of: "wide general knowledge, which he is always ready to share."

ie never shuts up!

grin

Shaz10 Wed 24-Mar-10 16:45:29

These sound like my reports!

haveirememberedthebaby Thu 25-Mar-10 20:14:50

Mine always used to be along the lines of "she could do SO much better if she just applied herself..." !!

Imustbenuts Fri 26-Mar-10 10:41:02

DS always had the unspoken "could do better" undertone - exactly like his mother!!

I worked as a TA and used to help the teacher write reports. You are not allowed to say anything negative. We used to take a long time trying to find positive things to say about some of the children. The trouble is, is you can't be honest with parents about their children's behaviour/progress/relationships how can they hope to improve? Most parents would rather have the truth, well not all of them! The trouble is, the child you see at school can be a totally different character from the one they see at home. In one class the mother was constantly anxious about her son's "awful" behaviour: "Let me know if he gives you any trouble" - apparently he used to be a proper tantrum-throwing tyrant at home, but was a little angel at school, got on well with everybody, helpful, sociable etc. Another , whose child was the class bully and know-all could do no wrong in the eyes of her parents...

OrmRenewed Fri 26-Mar-10 12:28:26

DS#1 had his last night. Level 4 for all the categories (effort, attitude etc) on almost all subjects. Above or near target for all subjects apart from PSR which he has only just started.

Very pleased.

Unspoken word: "Unexpected"! grin

DownyEmerald Fri 26-Mar-10 13:43:41

I actually had "stubborn" on one of my reports once - I was about 6 so a long time ago smile.

Think my mum and dad were quite pleased with that one!

dilemma456 Fri 26-Mar-10 20:07:45

Message withdrawn

I like this thread! My question is would you rather the 'unspoken word/s' or the real thing?

MadameSin Tue 06-Apr-10 17:32:59

I was told "Not to worry too much about his SATs results".. Oh dear, do you think she was preparing me for some disappointing news later on this year..? hmm My son's old primary school had a list of 'Parents evening unspoken words' up on the wall in the staff room ie: Confident = forward/annoying, Lively = hyper/annoying, Bright = precocious/annoying, Inquisitive = nosey/annoying, Chatty = won't shut up, loves the sound of their own voice and bloody annoying grin

MsDav Thu 08-Apr-10 17:26:46

I was told that DS2 was " a very interesting child" I know she meant odd really grin

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