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My 5 year old daughter J is finding it hard to make friends since we moved her school

6 replies

Emsy5 · 17/03/2010 07:59

We moved my daughter to a different school after christmas due to a house move. She is doing really well academically at the new school she is in reception. But she has not made any friends and no one plays with her in the playground, she says she is not really bothered, she is an only child so she is used to playing on her own. I am worried that she is not socialising with children her own age. I have asked her if she wants to invite anyone from school to play at our house but she says no. And I don't know any of the other Mums yet really. Has anyone else been through this?

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overthemill · 17/03/2010 08:06

i've been through this with an older child - 8 at the time - and would suggest that you relax, it's still early days. check with teacher/teaching assistant that she appears happy at school though just to make sure. i bet you by the holidays (summer if not easter) she will be running around with loads of mates.
you could arrange a play date for the easter hols too?

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FernieB · 17/03/2010 12:42

My DD's moved countries aged 5 and it took them a long time to really settle into a new school. By the summer they had made some friends and were beginning to settle down, but it took time. Agree with overthemill, check with the teacher to see if she seems happy at school.

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beezmum · 17/03/2010 13:41

My five year old dd2 moved schools just after Christmas. In her last class she had lots of friends from nursery and it was all easy. Its definitely taking time to re-settle. I saw her PE lesson the other day as I was waiting for pick up and she was trying, but spent lots of time by herself which made my heart ache. I think it will just take time and she seemed fine socially in her last school so shes not without the skills. I did make a point of getting to know some mums by joining the PTA and have done some play dates. Other mums were really sympathetic and willing to help.

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purpleturtle · 17/03/2010 13:44

I don't think it's at all unusual for reception age children, whether they've moved or not, to not have established friendships. Don't worry. She probably is socialising - perhaps not as you expect - but if there were an issue I think checking with the teacher would show it up.

I worried about my DD when she 5, but in time I realised that she was quite happy, it was me with the problem! At 9 she falls in and out of friendships like any other 9 year old.

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Flyonthewindscreen · 17/03/2010 13:54

My DS had to moved schools during Reception due to a house move and it did take him a long time, quite a while into Yr 1 to really settle and find a place for himself socially in the class. No real solutions except to keep plugging away with trying to get to know other mums and setting up playdates when your DD does start mentioning some names. Maybe you could talk to her teacher and see if there are classmates she has shown an interest in and also flag up that you are concerned and see what she says?

Also I'm not sure if this is relevant for you but our housemove was quite a short distance and initially me and the DC spent a lot of time with old school friends and in retrospect this may have hindered DS in settling in his new school.

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Emsy5 · 19/03/2010 15:01

Thanks a lot for your messages it has been reassuring.

I am starting to befriend some Mums in the playground now and hopefully this will lead to some playdates. I think I am worried about it more than my daughter to be honest!

The teacher has said she will keep an eye on her and we will just have to see how she gets on.