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How to help DS1 to like/make friends at school?

5 replies

emy72 · 14/12/2009 13:39

My DS1 is currently at the preschool of a large school, where he will move to next year for his reception year. DD1 went to the same preschool last year and is currently in reception and has loads of friends/loves it. However my DS1 is a nightmare, he cries every morning as he doesn't want to go and hasn't made any friends. His teacher tells me that he is v quiet and plays mainly by himself. I am really worried re: next year as it will be a whole day and he is already very young (August born) and it breaks my heart thinking of him on his own. Yet when he is out of school, say in any other social context, he is very sociable, he always makes friends and is enthusiastic about seeing them. He does hate noise and is very quiet though, maybe the hustle and bustle of a school environment might be the problem. I have considered moving him to our local very small rural village school, but logistically this could be a nightmare for us so I am a bit loathed to do that. Does anyone have any experience of a quite DS and how they have worked with him/the school to make things a little better? What spurred me to write this is that this afternoon he had his nursery christmas party and he really didn't want to go. DH said he cried his eyes out when he dropped him off and all the other kids looked really excited/couldn't wait to go.
Poor little thing (

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reup · 14/12/2009 17:01

What about some playdates so he can be more sociable one on one? If you can't mention any child he likes perhaps the teacher could suggest a couple of children.

My dss best friend was like this for the first year at school and occasionally in Y! but is fine in Y2 and very into school now. He too was aug born.

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reup · 14/12/2009 17:02

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HotOtter · 14/12/2009 22:19

So he's 3 and 3 months now?
Hold off on your expectations - he sounds perfectly normal and I don't think you can rush him into becoming more sociable, he will do it when he's ready and that might not be until he is much older.
In the meantime, if he doesn't want to do to the party, don't make him. Don't make him do pre-school yet either if he doesn't want to. He is so little, and at that age they don't really make friends, especially boys.

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Curiousmama · 14/12/2009 22:29

Agree he sounds normal. DS2 also had trouble socialising at pre-school. He's in yr 4 now and very popular. I know that sounds a long way off but he's enjoyed most of his time there up to now too.

Try not to worry too much he sounds lovely

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emy72 · 15/12/2009 14:28

ah thanks for that, food for thought. I wasn't sure actually which way to go whether to persevere or not with preschool. I have followed your advice and have arranged a couple of playdates post christmas....if that doesn't improve matters then I will see.....the only reason i am keen for him to do preschool is that all children who start reception will have gone to that preschool and i don't want him to be even more isolated by the time he starts next year.....