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How do you know if your child is a genius or if I am just being biased!

24 replies

greedygreedyguzzler · 05/11/2009 16:20

My dd seems to be really smart to me and doing really well at school. she is only in reception, but if she is really going to be very clever i would like to encourage it more in some way.

so how do i know if she really is as clever as i think, or if i am just being biased (which is probably the case)

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thegrammerpolicesic · 05/11/2009 16:22

Whether she is a genius, bright or average just encourage her by reading together, being supportive and checking that the work she gets is vaguely appropriate for the level she's at.

Go on, tell us what she does which makes you think this....

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mrz · 05/11/2009 16:39

Has the school suggested she is more able than expected for her age?

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overmydeadbody · 05/11/2009 16:41

You are biased.

Every parent aways thinks their little darling reception child is a genius. If she really is above average her teacher will soon tell you.

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LIZS · 05/11/2009 16:48

You don't ! Presumably you don't yet have a wide expericne of that age group to put it into context. Some kids are relatively "bright" whenthey start school but are then caught up during the next few years but those who initially appeared slower. Some are better at gross motor skills and then develop academically , others enjoy books and learning then discover other activities and social confidence , so it can even out. Development across the early years is fascinating. Encouragement is as much about you supporting her by creating opportunities to experience and learn (trips out , library etc) as teaching anything formally.

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jomummy2 · 05/11/2009 17:17

DH and I were told our DS is excelling in his Literacy and far more advanced than the others in class which at times they said they are struggling to accomodate.

However he started Reception already being able to read and knew all his sounds etc as i'd worked alot at home with him (i'm a teacher)...I do think though that although he is currently ahead and shining the other children will catch up to him and some will inevitably overtake him.

I am just pleased i was able to give him a head start and that he has settled into school life so well and is confident in his learning because of the work he had done at home.

I'm sure if she is a 'genius' they will tell you.

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greedygreedyguzzler · 05/11/2009 17:18

she just seems so much further ahead of where my son was at the same stage at school and he has always been well above average.

her teacher has said she is doing extra reading with her and extra maths because her doing stuff with the other groups wouldn't be challenging enough for her.

i think she will probably slow down and/ or everyone else will catch up. just a bit concerned cos she is also the quietest, most timid child ever and i dont want her ability to be missed because of that.

sorry, just being a typical parent and worrying about everything!

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thegrammerpolicesic · 05/11/2009 17:31

Quite a lot of reception children - not loads but a significant number - will be reading at this stage.
There's a huge variation in class. It might not even out - you never know.

What kind of thing can she do in maths and reading?

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greedygreedyguzzler · 05/11/2009 18:42

she is on level 3 with her reading which i know doesnt mean much as all schools have differnt systems. I just know my son didnt get to level 3 till middle of year 1.

ok, i have decided i am probably being daft, she is just doing well at the moment, not a genius at all. i am just comparing her to my son who is 17 months older. and i know that girls and boys are very different, but he has always been very good at school (apart from handwriting), so it seemed fair to compare them, and she is streets ahead of where he was.

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thegrammerpolicesic · 05/11/2009 19:36

What kind of sentences would that have in level 3 (I'm being nosey and curious about it not judgey).

I don't think it's as much as a boy vs girl thing as simply that all children are different (said as mother of a boy)!

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smee · 05/11/2009 20:20

BF has a son who teachers said was gifted, yet in Yr 1 he couldn't read a word. They said it's not to do with reading, just obvious from aptitude in terms of thinking, reasoning, etc. So gifted can mean all sorts of things and being a good reader doesn't necessarily she is or isn't, as it depends on so many things. Personally I think there's a lot to be said for average though.

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mrz · 05/11/2009 20:30

Level 3 as in NC Level 3 or a reading scheme stage 3?

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mollybob · 05/11/2009 20:30

My DS now 11 probably is gifted - it's been said but we have tried to underplay it and let him be himself and got him the books he wanted at the library and let him develop. He is rubbish and not interested in art or music and isn't sporty although there are a few things he is ok at that way. Now he's at secondary school he is finally being stretched and he's a lot happier - the biggest thing is getting him books that are suitable and challenging enough. His reading level is 16-18 I estimate but a lot of late teen fiction is too emotionally advanced not to mention on subjects that aren't for 11 year olds.

My DD at 8 has always seemed decidedly average and at our last school assessment we were told she is actually pretty good so we have failed in not comparing her to big brother.

I don't see the need for pushing kids and would be more worried about turning them off learning to be honest.

Let her find her level.

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sugarcandymountain · 05/11/2009 21:52

I found it quite hard to judge DS's intelligence - multi-lingual home background delayed his language skills so he didn't show advanced skills as some bright children would have. I found it useful to have an independent Ed Psych assessment, it gave me an unbiased view and gave me a better idea of his strengths and weaknesses. He's had to get further EP assessments done since then as he has SEN and the IQ has remained consistent, so I'd say it's a fairly reliable tool.

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Merle · 05/11/2009 21:57

I watched a program about very gifted children a while ago. There was a child who got fed up with the rate at which her mum was reading 'Harry Potter' to her at bedtime. She prefered to read it to herself. She was 3.

Now that's clever.

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PhillipsSensualMessenger · 05/11/2009 21:57

My friend is responsible for admissions and looking round the school. She says that she is very surprised when she meets a mum who 'doesn't' ask in one form or another, how the school is going to provide for their talented child .

I'm not saying she isn't talented, but bear in mind that we see the best in our children, being good at reading could be an indication that that doesn't need to be worked on, and that the focus can be on getting her physical skills up a notch iygwim.

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Merle · 05/11/2009 22:01

SCM - I wish we'd had our eldest assessed by an ED Psych. Would have been useful to have had an unbiased review of his strengths and weaknesses. As it is we've learnt as we've gone along.

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greedygreedyguzzler · 05/11/2009 22:57

reading harry potter at three! now that IS gifted! ok, she isn't quite there yet!

I don't think my other dd is clever at all by the way! she is destined to be our nail technician! (not that they can't be gifted, don't want to offend anyone!)

I was just interested to see what people thought, so thank you.

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Cortina · 06/11/2009 13:48

Just to say to have a reading age much higher than your peers isn't always a sign of being more intelligent. You've just 'got it' first. I wasn't considered particularly bright but had a reading age of around 12 plus at 6.

There are different kinds of 'smart'.

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Miggsie · 06/11/2009 13:53

We thought our DD was quite clever, but we are biased and we do a lot of things with her.

I went to the teacher and said "we think DD might be bright, but she is an only child, she gets bags of parental input, she listens well. Is she artificially ahead now due to her home life influences OR is she always likely to be ahead as she is bright and picks thing up really fast? Will the other children catch her up at around 7 or 8?"

The teacher replied "she is ahead, and I can't see any of the other children catching her up."

We then said "we were considering an academically selctive school for her next" and the teacher replied "that would be fantastic. I've already done a lot of probing about how she thinks and her approach to maths and English, and she is very good at both of them."

We specifically asked the teacher because we know someone who intensively coaches their child in certain subjects and thus is ahead of the peer group in those sujects. I did not want DD pressured into academic life if she was not suited, however, all the teachers told us she was bright and she gets extra maths and English now which she loves.

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specialmagiclady · 06/11/2009 13:54

I was an early reader - Little Women at 5 is oft quoted. I'm not that bright and certainly not terribly successful!

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Miggsie · 06/11/2009 13:56

Early reading has no correlation with later academic sucess. This is why we were so keen to talk to her teacher.

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notnowbernard · 06/11/2009 13:58

DD1 is bright but I know I am biased

I do know that she is a very good reader (can read anything, basically) and I've been told by her teacher she is above average (she's in Y1)

However I do tend to agree with the poster who said 'gifted' is more about just literacy and numeracy For example, DD1 is an excellent reader now, but for sure the majority of her classmates will be as good as her at some point. She just happens to have 'got it' quickly

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Rollmops · 06/11/2009 16:16

I taught myself to read with Jules Verne's Fifteen Year Old Captain, was 4 years old. Didn't make me a genius.
OP, your statement that your other DD is 'not bright at all and destined to became a nail technician' is the worst kind of statement parent could ever make. It can become a self fulfilling prophecy.
She is the one you should spending the extra time with, encouraging and helping her, giving her confidence in her abilities and coaching her along.

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greedygreedyguzzler · 06/11/2009 20:31

rollmops - i was joking!

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